Author Archive Paper Jam

It is only 5:29 am…I am Right on Time

Warming up with a pre-run before your Q could be a bit tricky especially when you arrive to the AO at 5:29 to see the relieved look on the face of one of the Site Qs. So the mats went down, music turned up but the lights stayed on and we were a go.

Devotional: Titus 2:13, looking for that blessed hope.

Warm-up: Knee up, butt kick, hop the fence, toy solider and LSS

The Thang:

Shoulder stretch across body, Traditional Triceps stretch



Stand up-legs as wide as you can-fold forward

Seated-legs apart fold forward

Low Warrior I

Half Lord of Fishes


One-Legged Pigeon

Dead Pigeon

Calf stretch

We did 2-3 rounds of each stretch holding for 15-30 seconds. To round i t out I included some table top, cat/cow and one downward dog.


Swiss Miss will send out the Gumby Q schedule through December.  If a day does not work, switch with someone.

As always, thank you for allowing me to lead.

This IS Tar Heel Country

When fellow Tar Heel alum  Pop Tart reminded me yesterday afternoon that I was on Q this morning, what better sign than to honor our National Championship Men’s Basketball team. So 12 PAX ignored spring break and joined me in the celebration.

COP: SSH, IW, Merkins, Heels to Heaven, LSS all x 20 (the number 20 represents the amount of appearances for UNC in the Final Four)

The Thang:

At the main playground, partner up.  One PAX performs the called exercise, the other does a lap around the far traffic island. First Round: As a team, complete 41 pull-ups (in 1941 Carolina makes its first appearance in the NCAA tournament). Second Round:hand release wide arm merkins, each PAX does 46 (in 1946 UNC appears for the first time in the championship round),  Round 3: 48 floor slap squats for each PAX (Tar Heels have been to the NCAA tournament 48 times). Round 4: 57 dips each (In 1957, UNC defeated Wilt Chamberlain and the Kansas Jayhawks for their first national championship)

Mosey to a hill for a round of 6s (as 6 represents the number of national championships won by Carolina). Hand release burpees on top, diamond merkins on the bottom.

Mosey to the cinder block pile and partner up.  One partner does the called exercise the other runs to the first set of lights.  One round, should press 146 as a team. (146 is the combined score of last weeks 75-71 win over Gonzaga).

Mosey to the rock pile, pick up a lifting rock for 168 curls. (the total number of games UNC has played in the NCAA tournament-they have a record of 123-45.) Since we were running out of time and the PAX were about to stone Squid, I cut short the number of reps and we moved on to the sidewalk by the large field.

Partner up. One partner remains and performs the makhtar ndiaye as the other partner runs across the field to the parking lot to perform the same exercise. When one partner reaches the parking lot and begins makhtar ndiaye  the other partner runs to meet him and the round ends.

In the parking lot, 4 corners of ab escalators, 2 rounds 10-20-30-40x, LBCs and flutter.

Finish with plank-o-rama: regular plank, elbow plank, right are high, left arm high.


Something about a Savage race and a convergence at Anvil (Calvary church) on Wednesday led by McGee.


It was great to see the joyous look on the faces of the PAX when I announced the theme of the workout at the COP. Prohibition was especially giddy about honoring the Tar Heels and Lobsta Roll, in spite of his yankee upbringing, quickly rattled off the names of the starting 5 UNC players from the 1957 Championship team.

Joker was babbling most of the work out, but it is my guess he was suffering from hypothermia as he showed up only in a long sleeve t-shirt and shorts. A number of the PAX went to their cars and pulled out toboggans, sweat pants and sweat shirts, but Joker refused the offer and wanted to tough it out. We were all proud of him.

Thank you Squid for the takeout and as always humbled and honored to lead the men of The Matrix.


Baby Its Cold Outside-But Warm In Here

On a warm February morning, Swiss Miss assigned QIC a day to lead the Gumby faithful during the madness of March. Looking at the weather report and noticing sub freezing temperatures a week before Spring, I was again reminded how much I enjoy the heating unit in the Boy Scout hut. I fearlessly braved the cold, windy morning by running 10 yards from my car to the building, with yoga mat in toe, to get limber with the 7 other PAX who joined me.

After the proper disclaimer and warning about the partner work to come, we began with our morning devotional: Ready for a Breakthrough:

The Thang:

It is always a good thing to make sure that we are warm before stretching, so I lined up the PAX against the wall for butt kicks, leg raises and “over the fence” walks back and forth in the room and then LSS.

This was followed by neck rolls, shoulder rolls, cross body shoulder stretch, traditional triceps stretch and hands on the wall shoulder stretch.

It was time for some mat work: Easy pose, bring fingertips to ceiling, then round forward with palms on the floor, left and right twist and ending with butterfly and starfish.

Time to stretch the groin some more: stand up, legs apart, fold over, hands on the ground. Then sit down, legs wide apart, fold forward, grab your feet/ankles.

This was followed by Low Warrior I, Half Lord of Fishes (version A), Cobra, One-Legged Pigeon and Dying Pigeon (or hip rotator stretch).  We finished up with some knee to chest and low back stretches.

There were several rounds of each exercise holding each stretch for about 15-30 seconds.


When Swiss Miss EH’d me to Q  Gumby, I knew it was a bit different than the other F3 workouts because you have to figure out the exercises and provide verbal cues throughout the execution of the called move. That last part was the most challenging for me, but fortunately the PAX could see what I was doing (yes there are lights at Gumby-no gloom) when my verbal cues were lacking at times.

I decided to take a different path at Gumby this morning and depart from a strict “broga” format to demonstrate that it is easy to put together a flexibility workout by stringing together exercises for similar body parts. I could tell that Madison and Arena were disappointed that time ran out before we could get to the partner work-but there is always next time.

Thank you Swiss Miss for taking us out-and as always, I am humbled that I was asked to lead.


Crossing the Border

10 PAX ignored the freezing temperature to get swole at my guest Q in the Valley of the Sun.  Since Madison, Scalper and Champagne ran me into the ground this week, I was concerned about becoming a runner and developing soccer arms, so it was time to focus on arms and abs.

After a quick disclaimer it was a short mosey to the baseball diamond (spring training has begun) for the:

COP: SSH x 15, IW x 15, arm circles x 15, toe tap crunch x 15 and 5 merkins OYO in between each of the exercises.

The Thang:

Mosey across the street to the Goddard School parking lot and grab a lifting rock: 3 rounds of 20 reps: curls, shoulder press and triceps extension, triple lindy between rounds.

Mosey back to the middle school and find the tennis courts for ab escalators. At each corner perform the given exercise: flutter (10), heels to heaven (20), toe tap crunch (30), LBC (40)

Mosey to the benches near the yellow buses. Round 1: Dips (25), incline merkins (20), Round 2: Dips (25), incline merkins (20), diamond merkins (10). Round 3: flutter (20), heals to heaven (15), TTC (15).

Mosey to the playground in between the elementary schools for pull ups and decline merkins. Three rounds: 5 pull ups, 10 decline merkins. Then circle up for some abs:protractor (chosen by Smokey) then back scratchers (chosen by Double E).

Mosey to the practice football field for Field of Plank. Jog to a line, perform the called plank. Elbow plank, regular plank, elbow plank, right arm high, left arm high, elbow plank, reverse plank and finish with 10 reps of Makhtar N’Diaye (some trivia: his middle name is Vincent).

Return to the launch site with some time left for 3 Rounds of supline pull ups and merkins 10 of each and finish up with LBCs. (Forgot to mention: on the way back found a small hill for 10 more incline merkins)


When Madison reached out to me for a guest Q slot he told me that this was a fun AO.  He was not kidding, I felt like I only scratched the surface of all the fun that a Q could have at this site. This location rivals Hugh McRea Park in Wilmington as one of the best sites that I have visited.

I appreciate Madison and Double E taking me for a “tour” of the grounds right before we launched, I had performed a drive through and looked on google maps, but there is nothing like running around the site to make sure what you had planned would work.

I discovered some interesting things in Union County (1) Madison likes to wear running tights but no shorts, (2) Woody wears a scarf to an F3 workout, (3) Shake & Bake doesn’t follow me on Twitter or he wouldn’t have showed up with a Boston Red Sox license plate (10 burpees for that), (4) Bullwinkle likes to make an entrance, showing up late and triggering a UC tradition of a  5 burpees penalty for everyone (I am an SOB so I respectfully declined), (5) Manziel is a proud Browns fan (maybe he should go see Fraizer for that issue).

For those involved in the pull-up merkin challenge, the final numbers are 135 merkins and 45 pull ups.

One of the blessings of Qing outside of your area is meeting other great F3 PAX and realizing we are all part of one big community.

Thank you Smokey for taking us out and I am always  humbled and honored to serve the men of F3.

Are we really running?

8 dedicated PAX braved sub freezing temperature to answer the question, does Paper Jam really run?  After a proper disclaimer was provided and over 3 miles later, they had their answer:


Mosey through the apartment complex next to Chic-Fil-A, stopping at each speed bump we came across to perform 5 merkins. Running back along Rea Road we ended up at at the fountain in Blakeney Park to warm up the upper body: regular arm circles x 10, reverse arm circles X 10, dips x 15 and incline merkins x 15.

Then run over to the parking lot area near OrthoCarolina for IW x 15, LSS x 15 and crunches x 15.

The Thang:

Divide into teams of 3s and mosey to the traffic circle in the neighborhood behind Elevation Church. The idea: as a team of 3, run down to the end of the street, perform an exercise and run back to the traffic circle. 3 rounds on each street a different exercise on each street. But after running back and forth a few times, figured out what looked good on google maps and on paper did not work well. So an audible was called and after a few runs, we regrouped at the traffic circle and we were off.

Run to the First Citizens parking lot for some mary. LBCs and heels to heaven.

From there it was running up Blakeney Heath, stop once to perform some merkins, second stop at the first neighborhood entrance for some Wojo squats then to our favorite rock pile as I don’t want soccer arms with all this running.

Grab a lifting rock, then in cadence: 20x curls, 20x shoulder presses and 20x triceps extensions. Then I introduced the SOB crowd to the Triple Lindy 15x. put the rock down.

Run up to the playground for some grinders. Back into your team of 3s. Pull-ups, LBCs and running back and forth. 5 rounds.

Then a round of plank-o-rama: regular, 6-inches, right and left hand high, elbow plank.  A different PAX gives each plank a 10 count.

Leave the play ground, run back to the rock pile: Triple Lindy 15x in cadence, then 15x curls, 15x shoulder press and 15x triceps extensions OYO.

Run back to the parking lot near 131 Main for some mary. Flutter kicks, rosalita, LBCs, crunches and can openers.

Run back to the launch point, stopping at some random corners for squats.

Back at the launch, 3 burpees each in honor of Ruth Samuelson, beloved mom of McGee.


In April, Richard Sheltra 5 k, this event honors the 19 year old firefighter, of the Pineville Volunteer Fire Department, who died in the line of duty recently. All proceeds will benefit the “Richard Sheltra Memorial Fund” which is designed to purchase New Turnout Gear and Educational Expenses for first responders. F3 needs a presence at this event. Reach out to Dumpster Fire

Looking for PAX who attend The Maul or Rebel Yell to start a 3rd F at the Chic-Fil-A after the workout.

SOB Land board encouraging feedback on outreach opportunities for our region, see board members Soft Pretzel, Argonaut, Thin Mint, Frehleys, Wild Turkey or General.

Charlotte Rescue Mission, which is a men’s shelter for those recovering from addiction, Saturday at 9am F3 leads a very modified workout for the residence of that shelter. Reach out to Tootsie for more details and to get involved. This is an older 2.0 friendly service opportunity (10 yrs or older).

Church on the Street, serving food to homeless men and women in Charlotte. Excellent service opportunity, well run and organized. 2.0 and M friendly (kids should be 10 yrs or older). Sign up  through F3 app or newsletter.

Finally, the video is a shout out to my friend McGee who quotes this song at every workout we attend together-we are all thinking about you, standing by you and here to support you in any way we can during this time.

No Weinke Oil Needed

As I was making the drive into Stonecrest, I couldn’t help but notice a gaggle of men running towards the AO led by Wild Turkey. I was unable to figure out who was with him but I was confident that one had to be Mr. Bean, as he was very vocal on twitter the previous night. As I made it to the movie theatre and the runners made it back, there was no Brit to be found on this warm December morning. So time for the disclaimer and 16 PAX were off.

On the way to COP, beginning at the BBQ place, stop at each parking area opening for 5 merkins, until we reached Harris Teeter then circle up.

COP: SSH x 15, IW x 15, LSS x 15, LBC x 15

The Thang:

Mosey to the front section of Stonecrest, to an area we never seem to go, for a round of 7s using the courtyard next to Starbucks and the courtyard by Flying Biscuit. Dips and derkins with the fast ones leading mary waiting on the six.

Now that we were warmed up, time to mosey around Chic-Fil-A to Rea Rd. to the hill in front of The Joint and Mattress Firm for the Paper Jam version of triple nickel. This hill is unique, as it has one ridge before getting to the top. The PJ version is this: do the called exercise 5x at bottom of hill, 10x at the ridge, and 15x at the top, run around Chic-Fil-A back to the starting point. Three rounds: diamond merkins, crucible merkins, hand release merkins then mary waiting for the six.

Since we needed to go back up the hill, bear crawl to the top and then 5 burpees.

Mosey back to the courtyard next to The Flying Biscuit, grab a chair for a round of split squats, shoulder presses, curls and tricep extensions. 15x.

Then move to the front of Target where we did some core work, going up and down the parking space rows.  First row, 25x crunches at each island; 2nd row,15X flutter (each leg) at the light posts; last row, 15x dying cockroaches at each island.

To continue the ab theme, we ran behind Target and held plank at each speed bump for about 30-45 seconds. Regular, 6-inches, left-hand high, elbow, right hand high, reverse plank. Then finish our work with heels to heaven 25x and a sprint back to the AO.

Thank you Flutie Flakes for taking us out and I appreciate the opportunity to lead.


-Operation Sweet Tooth, bring a new unwrapped new toy to the Christmas Party or to an AO.

-Smokey Mountain Relay April 2017, Cheese Curd putting together a team and Cheddar is signed up.

-Joe David Run, still time to sign up.

-Jingle Bell Run, 5k next week, starting point is St. Matthew Parrish in Ballantyne.


Run, Fun and Raking Leaves

Pulling up to the Chic-Fil-A about 6:25 this morning, I could see a few of the F3 faithful had already made it, including Kilowatt, who was asking the other PAX when the restaurant was opening because he thought this was a 3rd F. As I was trying to console him that there would be no chicken minis, I hear a particular Scottish accent piercing the gloom questioning the Qs ability to perform a proper Thanksgiving Day workout.

With that challenge before me, I provided the disclaimer and off we went. Mosey across the street to the Blakeney shopping center for the COP.


SSH X 15

5 burpees (care of Haggis)

IW x 15

5 merkins

LSS x 15


Line up by the fountain area and perform the called exercise, run to the Christmas Tree and back. 3 rounds: 10 derkins, 20 merkins, 30 dips.

Then the first leg of the inaugural  Paper Jam Turkey Trot, run at your own pace from Blakeney Shopping Center to Park Farms Lane, perform mary in the parking lot of the Reaburn pool area while waiting on the six.

Mosey to the hill behind the pool, line up at bottom of hill for some fun, 10 crunches at the bottom of the hill and 10 heels to heaven at the top of the hill, 3 rounds.

Once done there, the 2nd leg of the Paper Jam Turkey Trot. Run at your own pace through Reaburn sub division (Parks Farm Ln, Fieldgate Dr, Bay Tree Way) to Darcy Hopkins Drive, stopping at each intersection to perform 25 LBCs.

While in Reaburn we stopped at a stately manor where there happen to be a pile of rakes and trash bags. Partner up, partner 1 grab a rake and partner 2 grab a trash back and see how fast we could rake up the leaves in the front yard. Partners flap jack for the back yard.

Finishing there, the final leg of the Trot, hit the trails to run back to the AO, stopping twice along the way to perform some mary and maybe some merkins.


QIC had a major dilemma facing him earlier in the week, I had an incredible urge to eat a bunch of stuff on Thanksgiving but the neighborhood Turkey Trot (5k) was cancelled and no workouts scheduled. But God is faithful, He wasn’t going to allow me to miss my only planned run (Madame Tussauds suckering me into doing The Brave does not count). On Tuesday, Strawberry mentions at Bagpipe that Alf is looking for someone to lead a workout on Thanksgiving morning, problem solved.

Great to see our friends from Raleigh join us. Pepe is very peppy, he kept up with Haggis, Teddy and Rachel. Enjoyed running along with Ernie through the trails (he is more at a Paper Jam pace).

Thanks Strawberry for making sure Kilowatt was powering through.


Joe Davis Run-sign up

F3 Dads McKee Elementary, TODAY, 9:00-10:30

Operation Sweet Tooth


Strawberry provided an inspirational message about the value of slowing down and appreciating today.

Then each of the PAX related 3 things that they were grateful for. Incredible testimony by Rachel, easily the fastest man out there today (and most of the F3 workouts) was told 6 years ago that he would not run again. He proved those docs wrong.

This morning was a reminder how grateful that I am for F3, thank you men for allowing me to lead and to be a part of this fellowship.




F3 SOB Resource: SOB SAR (Search and Rescue)

For some PAX the holiday season brings celebration with family and loved ones, while for others, the holidays just increase the stress, fear, and anxiety that is a by-product of a struggle that they are facing.

Therefore, I wanted to remind everyone that the F3 SOB Search and Rescue (“SAR”) program is available to help.

For those facing the battle, just a reminder that you are not alone and to encourage you to reach out for help.

For those not in a struggle, who are experiencing a peaceful season, be vigilant in your search.

As the SOB SAR Q I can be reached at (704) 621-2552, via email, or by private message on Slack or Twitter.

Supporting a PAX may be just listening, providing some advice, or connecting a PAX with another person who can help.

The goal of the SAR is to use whatever means necessary to deliver the aid to the PAX in trouble. Simply put, that is the goal of this program.

No Super Bowl Hangover Here

With the BRR in full swing, the Panthers first game of the season and not knowing if I was actually leading the PAX (based on a message earlier in the week from Chelms), I knew it was going to be an interesting time at Centurion. Regardless of what was against us, 10 PAX arrived in the gloom (one not knowing which team won the football game) to get their weekend started. The disclaimer was provided and off we went. Mosey to the small lot behind the football field for:


5 merkins OYO, SSH x 15, 5 merkins OYO, IW x 15, 5 merkins OYO, mountain climber x 15, 5 merkins OYO

The Thang:

Grab a lifting rock and down to the practice field.

Two rounds of 11s. Round 1: Shoulder press and squats, 2nd Round: Tricep Extensions and Sister Mary Catherine

1 set of cadence rock curls X 20 (3 count up and 3 count down)

Triple Lindy with the rock (curl, press, extension) x 20

Mosey to the benches: 2 sets of: 10 derkins, 15 incline merkins, 10 crucible merkins, 20 step ups, 20 split squats

Mosey to the front of the football stadium for ab escalators at the 3 corners of the parking area: two round 10-20-30x, first LBCs, then flutter kicks.

Finish the day with the Paper Jam mile (a knock off of the Centurion Mile)

Thanks Fire Marshall Bill for taking us out.


Area 51 convergence Wednesday at Calvary Church (Anvil) start time is 5:15 (not 5:30). Bring donations for the Calvary Food Pantry (check pre-blast for details)

Fort Mill convergence on Tuesday (check pre-blast for details)


Monday Morning Jolt

20 PAX ventured out on a balmy Monday morning to get their week off on the right foot. When Floor Slapper arrived and I was not in the middle of the COP I wondered if I was starting late, so a short disclaimer and we were ready to go.


SSH 15x, 5 merkins OYO, IW 15x, 10 wide arm merkins OYO, LSS 15x,15 merkins OYO, Mountain Climber  15x

The Thang:

Grab a lifting rock, then to the field, to use the light poles as guides for 11s. Round 1: shoulder press and LBCs. Round 2: curls and flutter.

Put the rock back and mosey to a hill for Jacobs Ladder. 2 rounds: squat jump and jack squat.

Abandon the hill and mosey to the playground for some push-pulls, only time for 1 round of 11s: pull ups and incline merkins

Finish at the playground, walk to the row of trees next to our launch point for plank. At each tree hold the called plank for 30 seconds. Regular plank, elbow plank, 6-inches, reverse plank, right arm high, left arm high and done.


Pop Tart is collecting contributions for The Matrix sponsorship for F3 Golf. Any amount is welcome.

F3 Dads at Panthers practice field (Play 60 event) has been cancelled.


Great to see a mix of the regulars (Squid, Pop Tart, OT), new faces (Tae Bo, Farvah, Pat Down, Brexit) and cameo appearances of veterans (McGee, Body Bag, Heart Breaker).

As always, it was an honor to lead The Matrix this morning.