Author Archive MoneyBall

It’s Bo-Time!!!

YHC promised a follow up to Zinfandel’s “Transient Anus” Jellyfish GroupMe post from Tuesday. That little science nugget confirmed exactly how the weinke would unfold at ol’ #87. Lots of quick movements in lots of different places…some more than others…some different than others. Here’s how it went:

DiCCS issued. Off we go on the opening mosey. Xerox happened to turn in right as we were taking off. YHC decided to change our launch direction and swung back to pick him up. No man left behind at ol’ #87…unless you’re later than he was today. Then, we’ll leave you for sure.

Thang:

Mosey past laundromat and across Providence to sidewalk. Mosey to bank parking lot.

15SSH / Calf stretches (I feel your pain, Dana) / 12? CC Merkins (counting snafu on YHC’s part / Let’s go

Back to sidewalk for long mosey to Food Lion parking lot. At each light pole, 5 jump squats until end of sidewalk. Pax stayed pretty close together. A 10 second plank waiting on six and we crossed the street together and headed on down to Food Lion lot.

I decided to borrow a treat from nantan Thin Mint- the old Burpee Snake. 1 burpee at first island, jog across, 2 at that island, jog back down to next (think zig zag pattern). Island hop up until 10 burpees.

At burpee station 1, we all smelled the delicious aroma wafting from the exhausts at Bojangles. Man, those biscuits smelled good, but no time for a delicious, unhealthy treat. We have 54 more burpees to complete. Not Rudy. Apparently all the jump squats and initial burpee was just the trigger he needed to go see what was on the menu at Bojangles. Rudy bolted across the lot. YHC watched a good bit of NFL combine coverage. Rudy was in the 4.5 – 4.6 range in that 40 yard dash. Banjo tried to shout out an order request, but was only able to get out “You brought your wallet!!!?” before Rudy was in the door.

Burpee 55 completed, Rudy emerged with a napkin in hand wiping mouth and smelling of fried chicken and bo-berry biscuits. As DW put it, “I bet he ordered a #2.”

Collect all pax and head back up the sidewalk. All crossed street together and knocked out a quick little ab burn. 20 LBC / 10 pistol each leg / 20 Hammers

Back up sidewalk, 5 more jump squats at each light until we reached the long road. I don’t know what that road is called but everybody that’s attended Floater knows what and where I’m talking about.

At each light on the right, 5 merkins. There was consensus among the group that the 5 merkins weren’t the problem, it was dropping down and getting back up again…particularly as we wound up hitting 15 or so light poles.

Over for a classic Floater combo exercise. At first tree, do 10 Derkins. Run over bridge and do 10 dips at other tree. Run lap around and down to Providence and back to original tree. Do this 4 times. Complete and jog back to start. Finished.

Moleskin:

I love Downtown Waxhaw as an AO. It is so diverse with so many different areas to explore. It’s #87 on paper, but #1 in your heart…and you know it, Zin. Today, I borrowed exercises from Thin Mint (Snake), Doc McStuffins (light pole jump squats), and floater OG Bottlecap (Derk and Dip laps). The 5 merkins per pole were my little idea to see how bad getting up and down for 15 sets would be over .5 mile straightaway. It was a nice test, but certainly a manageable ask. Only reason I tell you all that is to remind the pax that it is entirely acceptable to borrow/steal workout ideas to help build your weinke. If you hated it, it probably was a pretty good workout!

The Pax stayed close together today as a pack and today wasn’t necessarily an easy workout. It’s great to see the progress within the group and how fast some of you guys are now moving. Had we done that workout 6 months ago, we’d have lost half the crew. To each of you who are pushing yourselves to get better, keep it up. Your gains are showing…and they look good on you. Plus, we have banana hammock bathing suit season right around the corner. Now is the time for you to really pour it on and see how much you can transform your body.

Announcements:

Service opportunity through Waxhaw United Methodist Church. A few guys were able to serve last year. This year, the goal is for F3 to take an entire house. That’s just how WUC boys roll. Really excited to see what we’re able to accomplish as a band of brothers for such a worthy cause. See BC or Jingles for more details.

Thanks, Damascus, for taking us out.

Curb Your Enthusiasm

7 men splashed around at Asylum this morning. One Q attempted to recreate a rather unsettling scene from American History X…all by himself. Here’s how it went down:

DiCCS issued and off we go at 5:15. 20 seconds into Mosey, we see Frack and circle back to pick him up only to see him run back to his vehicle 20 seconds shortly thereafter. Back he came, we were all back together and met up near the dumpsters by the new Novant facility across from Hickory Tavern.

Warm up:

15 SSH/10 LSS/Jimmy Dugan/Quad Stretch/Go

Thang:

Dumpster by Novant to loading dock behind Petsmart = .25 mile. We did a modified burpee mile. 12 burpees at start/.25 jog/12 burpees/.25 jog/12/.25/12/.25/2 at end. 50 burpees and a mile. Mosey over to the side of Hickory Tavern for some Roasted Thighs

Ski School

1 minute wall sit/50 pulse squats/25 jump squats x 2

Jog to Wesley Oaks…But before we did YHC tried to curb stomp himself. As it turns out, an aggressive start, a curb, and a big toe leads to quite the wipe out. Tested all manual functions- Good. Ego? Bruised. Let’s go. Got to Wesley Oaks, made a right, and then at first left we got some more work in.

Alternate street lamps. 10 merkins/10 dry docks to first stop sign. Approximately 40 of each exercise. Wanted to go another half mile down the street, but time was running out. We turned around at stop sign and headed back towards Hickory Tavern.

30 second wall-sit at the end and we were done.

Announcements:

Daddy Daughter Dance- See Fuse

Skin:

Great job today, guys. 38 and raining was fun. The Site Qs at Asylum led by example, big time. If I told you Transporter was out front, would you be surprised? Crushed it. First F personified, man. Great job. Damascus hates burpees but refused to let them beat him during the Burpee Mile. He did so well I almost audibled a reward of partner carries into the weinke…almost. Thank you both for pushing yourselves and by extension me. Asylum demands a difficult workout. I hope today’s was up to the task. Thank you both for the chance to lead.

Good to see my old buddy and partner in crime Frack again. It’s been too long. We need to plan our next set of dumpster fires to light. I’ll bring the accelerant; you bring the Frack. Swimmers showed again…on a horrible day and really pushed. In retrospect, he probably felt right at home in all that water. Fuse Box really seemed to enjoy the running this morning. He definitely has an extra gear. Don’t let him fool you. Get that shoulder right soon. Posse put up his consistent effort and I believe was the first to help me off the asphalt after the self-inflicted curbing. That’s all I got. Thanks to Damascus for taking us out. Have a great week, gents.

How About a Staring Contest!?

11 pax locked horns with a burpee mile and then awkwardly locked eyes with one another with a workout filled with all kinds of special little treats. See below:

Warm up:

It was chilly so the DiCCS was a bit shorter than normal. Put it away, started the clock, and off we went.

Hot Lap/SSH/Hamstring Stretch/Jimmy Dugan/Merkins

Thang:

Modified Burpee Mile: Pole to Pole on the path towards Transporter’s Banjo’s Office is exactly .25 miles. So…we did a burpee mile. 7 burpees up top/7 in middle/7 at end/7 middle/7 top/7 middle/7 bottom/1 back at the top. Recalculating and Zin got in some extra work by doing 7 again back at the top. Worked out okay as Recalc still owed his 51 burpees from last Friday. Air Drop owned this portion of the work out with a really strong push from the rest of the crew.

Over to the most forgotten alcove we used to use all the time for a new little thing I called “Ski School”. YHC has a ski trip coming up. Need those strong quads to handle the steeps of the Wasatch Range. So, we did a little isolated muscle group leg work. Half of pax on one wall and the other half opposite. Awkward eye contact required.

1 minute wall sit

It was during this wall sit a discussion broke out regarding when the last time someone defecated in their pants. Zin claimed a 9 year clean streak, Air Drop said his last “oops, I s#it my pants” moment came during one of his first training sessions in the military. When you gotta go, you gotta go. A shart is one thing, but a full on escape is a horse of a different color. You really push and keep going. And because of that admission and your pride surrounding it, Zinfandel and I are proud to make you an Honorary Site Q of Floater #87. Oh yeah, back to ski school. It went like this:

50 pulse squats

25 Bobby Hurley’s

50 pulse squats

1 minute wall sit

Jump Squat competition. Losers plank until contest concludes and winner avoids 25 additional pulse squats. Air Drop kept his pants clean and won this one as well.

Mosey to front of school. Posse knew what was coming as soon as I told Doughboy he’d like it. A little “Dock Webb”.

1 Dry Dock and 4 Bear Crawls. 2/8, 3/12, etc…up to 10/40. YHC needed a brief pause at 7. Zinfandel aka Running Bear aka Trash Panda Extraordinaire was at least 40 body lengths ahead of the rest of us growling “Let’s get this over with”. We did 7 and then 8. YHC was toast. Thankfully, a Foley van drove right down our path forcing us out of the way. Mini break over, finish up the 10/40. Jog back to COT. Mary.

Hammers/Muffin Crunchers (side sit ups)/Flutters/LBCs and done

Skin:

Today was fun. YHC hopes the pax enjoyed the workout. It’s really cool to do something a little different and have everybody buy into it. Not sure of today’s mileage total, but I can’t imagine it was much north of 2. Regardless, I hope it was well worth the hour(s) of sleep you traded it for.

Chainsaw and Draper did an outstanding job. Posse pushed it like always. Jingles more than held his own on the Jump Squat challenge. Kudos to you man, those bells were jingling indeed. Speaking of that portion of the workout, Wedding Singer was my staring partner. I learned two things. One, he’s a wall sit master, and 2, he crushed me at the awkward eye contact/staring contest. If you think you can beat him, think again. Doughboy didn’t comment on the bear crawls. That was my way of paying you back for all yours!!! Recalc’s got that “More Mature” Man Strength. With each passing year, he gets faster and faster. Shout out to Zin for his personal transformation. You sir, are a testament to what a man can do if he puts his mind to it and leaves it all out there in the gloom. Rockwell had the line of the day. “Recalc, it’s like you were 49 for 2 years and 50 for 6 months.” We all kinda thought the same thing, Rockwell. Oh, and Air Drop…keep showing up man. Love having a rabbit out front like that. I’ll catch you next time!

Have a great day all.

Announcements:

Joe Davis March 9th- See Posse

Mark This Moment Daddy Daughter Dance March 1st- See Fuse

High Beams and High Fives

Commentary and Ghostwriting by Moneyball with Weinke details courtesy of QIC, Bottlecap.

13 men donned headlamps in the newest safety initiative at the 87th best AO in WUC, the Floater. Jokes were plentiful in trying to decide who would be the “Perma 6” and have to wear their light backwards. There are early candidates (YHC for one at the present), but we’ll let good ol’ #87 sort that all out for us! Off we went.

Warm-up:

Brisk mosey to women’s club

SSH, Imperial Squawkers, Merkins

The Thang:

Jog to school with 10 Knee Ups at each pole. Upon arrival at school, partner up

Run opposite directions on track and meet up to do 10 “High Five Merkin” (think handslap only with hands higher and with headlamp beams right in your eyeballs). Do this 10, 8, 6, 4, and 2

Up to basketball court in teams of 3.

P1- Bunny Hop down and back on court. Per Recalc: “Like getting hit in the face with a salmon” P2- Supines P3- Box Jump/Step Overs. This x 4

Jog back towards #KJH. At light poles, 5 more Knee Slappers.

Gather mid-mountain on #KeithJongHill for an homage to #87

8 Bombjacks at mid-mountain/7 burpees at laundromat/8 Bombjacks at mid-mountain/6 burpees at laundromat/Follow this progression

Mosey back to COT as rain began to fall.

Announcements:

Somber PSA- We laughed a bit about the headlamps this morning, but the reason behind us “enforcing” the policy at Floater #87 is the furthest thing from a laughing matter. Please keep the family of FiA member “Digits” in your prayers this Christmas season. One can’t and doesn’t even want to imagine what that husband and kids are going through. Check Comz page on Slack to get information on how to best serve the family. Somber PSA over.

Floater #87 welcomed FNG Cat Nip to the ranks. The Nip attempted to nickname himself the “Tiger”. Didn’t work out as planned. Glad to have you with us.

This Friday at Cabelas Syphillis Celery Celebrex Cerberus it sounds as if the Briars and Crests have taken the Providence Downs Clown Car Challenge as an afront to their level of Clowning. Clothing for the Shampoo Crew is on the line. Not sure the actual nature of the challenge as we now know both Briars and Crests (with Deadwood) AND the Providence Downers like to play dress up. Regardless, we can’t wait to see those photos!

F3 “Come To The Table” is today at Charlotte Country Club. Ping Zin or Bottlecap for more details as a couple slots have opened up over the past couple days. Be on the look out for CenterFold (FNG from Dromedary). Goodfella put his contact info out yesterday evening.

Thank you, Bottlecap, for taking us out

Q-uit Hurting Yourself

21 men came out for a brisk tour of Wesley Chapel. We heard ferocious beasts barking, saw monster trucks driving, and witnessed Bread Bowl contemplating a game of chicken with an oncoming car. What a morning!? Oh, failed to mention- Q duty and YHC haven’t exactly been working out so well lately. Hopefully the warmer weather of January will signal a change in fortunes.

Warm-up:

Zig Zag lap back to where we started

20 SSH

20 Mtn Climbers

Jimmy Dugan’s and Calf Stretches

20 IW

The Thang:

Mosey behind Hickory Tavern and partner up

P1: Run suicide behind the buildings to pre-determined markers

P2: Mike Tysons

Must complete 50 as a team. Caveat- Game is not over until “6” team completes 50. If you finish early, you keep going. Mosey to Petco Petsafe lot.

3 Man Teams – 75 burpees as team

P1: Burpees

P2 and P3: Run to opposite end and back

Same rules, “6” team must complete 75 burpees

It was at this point YHC had yet another Forest Gump moment. It felt like something jumped up and bit me…only in the calf and not in the a..you get it.

Pax mosey while YHC drags bloody stump of a leg to neighborhood behind Target

Alternating cul-de-sac run

P1: Run to one end of cul-de-sac do 5 burpees and return

P2: Run to other cul-de-sac do 5 burpees and return

When pax meet, they exchange 10 Hand slap merkins. This done only twice due to my overwhelming guilt of watching pax run while YHC banged out squats and burpees. If Q won’t or can’t pax shouldn’t have to either!

Word of caution- neighborhood has some obvious shortcomings.

  1. Smaller than expected lots for Mineral Springs area
  2. Aggressively barking dogs that sounded huge but were out of sight. YHC thought for sure if one got loose, that was the end of the line!
  3. Union County’s King of Overcompensation rolled down the street in his iteration of Grave Digger or Big Foot. Light Bar on high beam, exhausts burbling. All he lacked was an American flag mounted in the bed. We all tried to figure out what he was overcompensating for…mostly like a small p…arking space

Mosey back to Circle Area. Pax curious about perceived early closing time. YHC can’t run any more, pax don’t either!

Circle Up

Plank, plank 6 inches, plank 6 inches with right foot high, plank 6 inches normal, plank 6 inches left foot high, plank 6 inches, recover

Jack Webb- 1:4 ratio of merkins to air presses. Made it to 10. Marge, “I had no idea air was that heavy”

American Hammer x 20

Flutters at varying speeds x 20

Over

Announcements:

Posse shared more details regarding the 1st grader he and his family are hoping to support. Sounds like actual family was found in Matthews. He’s working on finding out how to best support the little guy during this incredibly difficult time. Posse promises to keep us posted once he knows more.

Sheriff Cathey’s wife passed away. Please lift them up in prayer.

It was at this point we circled for prayer. Rubbermaid thought it was time to do Name-O-Rama…again. Thankfully, another of our #respects stepped up to inform everyone that Rubbermaid hadn’t forgotten, it was just that his hearing aid batteries had frozen up. We laughed, prayed (Thank you BC for taking us out), high-fived, and all went home.

Moleskine: 

Great work by all who attended. First time YHC’s had the privilege of leading at the new Watchtower. Coincidentally, also the first time YHC’s had the privilege of hurting himself there, too!

Busy GroupMe morning already in the books- Learned post workout one of our pax overslept and left one of his brethren standing out by the mailbox waiting for the ride that never came. Also, Doughboy issued a serious plea YHC thought for sure was a joke. Apparently his truck broke down but the roads were too treacherous for AAA to come help. Thankfully his M sprung to action.

 

Oh, and Hooch is the first official nominee for a 2019 EFFEE award! #GroupMeFormPolice #BigLotsAndLawsonUnite #FormFriends

 

 

 

“I told myself this was a bad idea as soon as I woke up.” – Dancing Bear

Title says it all. I’m no sadist, but I do like making my Qs as difficult as is reasonably possible. Ignition has a rule- at least 4 miles. Oh, we got our 4 miles in alright.

Warm up:

.75 mile up school entry drive and back down long path to Transporter’s Office

SSH x 15

Jimmy Dugan, Calf Stretch (I didn’t do this well)

Merkins x 10 – Let’s get it started

The Thang:

Long path is exactly .25 from poles to poles. We did a Burpee Mile

Run up long path (.25 miles) do 12 burpees. Up and back 2x = 1 mile

Found BottleCap’s kryptonite – Diesel exhaust. Plan was to run bus lot hot laps with partners (thanks, Hollywood), but instead moseyed on over to the dual roundabouts

4 Laps at the Roundabouts that were part of the first AMRAP.

Top circle do 10 Dry Docks

Bottom circle do 10 Jump Squats

Mosey to High School parking lot

Burpee Snake (thanks, Thin Mint)

Island to island starting in near corner. 1 burpee at first island, run across for 2, back for 3, etc…until end of lot. Made it up to 10 burpees. Grand total for snake was 55. Upon quick East Tennessee math review, I realized 55 + 48 wasn’t exactly a round number. Quick- 2 more burpees. Shake n Bake seemed wrecked. He headed on home only to have another wreck along the way. Thankfully, it was a minor fender bender and he’s all good. At this point with all the incidents and injuries, he’s probably questioning moving to this side of the UC.

Mosey back towards long path. During this mosey, YHC felt both the calves go…again.

Quick audible to Foundation’s steps for some calf raises

10 straight/10 in/10 out

It was at this point our resident Lumberjack informed us he had a perma-sore at the base of his spine. Obviously our crew couldn’t let this slide. He attributed it to American Hammers and Flutters. Others in the group attributed it to “Axe Play”. Regardless, said Lumberjack took it upon himself to modify the 10s down to 5s for the second flight of steps. Nobody complained.

Mosey towards front of school. Middle School benches.

25  Dips in cadence

Wall sits

1 minute

20 LSS

Did this x2

Mosey back to COT to close it out with our friends from Flash.

4.11 miles, 105 burpees, Axe Play, and a pair Chundered calves for me later, we were done.

Moleskine:

Outside the “Axe Play” discussion on the steps, YHC really enjoyed Dancing Bear’s dialogue with Shake n Bake at the half-way point of the Burpee Mile. “I knew I shouldn’t have come out here. I told myself this was a bad idea as soon as I woke up.” You pushed it man. Really good work. Dasher killed it and also saved enough energy to handle form policing duties during the burpee snake. In fairness, my form went to pot around the 7th island. Half Back and BC out front…surprise, surprise. Feels like Easy Button just settles into a groove mid-pack and grinds it out. We tend to run together most Qs. You’re a good pacer- glad to have you. Shake was an Ignition first timer. I hope he won’t attribute the fender bender to me. The sore legs and body, yes.

Thanks to Hollywood and Half Back for letting me lead Ignition this morning. Last time I led, we ran too much. This time, I think we burpeed a bit too much. I’ll get it right next time.

And Thanks to Gatorcub for taking us out.

Announcements:

Effies – This Friday at 8pm at Briarcrest Clubhouse. Be early, BYOB, and BY Sense of Humor

Shampoocrew – See Dancing Bear

Huggy Bear- Keep him in your prayers. Brain surgery 12/11 to remove tumors that triggered seizure over Thanksgiving holiday

Jingle Jangle Beer Exchange – See Zinfandel for more details

 

 

Beef-A-Reeno, Bourbon, and Burpees

12 men and 2 2.0s Did some work this morning. Here’s how it went:

Warm-up:

Light Mosey to Nesbit circle and back to parking lot

15 SSH

15 LSS

15 IW

15 Mtn Climbers

The Thang:

Deconstructed Burpees with Partner Run

Partner 1 runs down to circle

Partner 2 does exercise until P1 returns

  1. Squats
  2. In-Outs
  3. Merkins
  4. In-Outs
  5. Jump Squats
  6. Burpees

Found some dry grass. Yes, we went on grass.

Jack Webb

Attempted Ab Webb with American Hammers and Flutters – Made it to 7 and called it off

Leg Webb – Squats and Speed Skaters. It was at this point Rusty Rudy unleashed a fart worthy of the finest handsome cab Clydesdales in NYC. Fart had staying power. Density. Was blamed on a food truck. Had more of an Assad flare in my opinion. Quickly wrapped those up and headed to midfield

Mosey to midfield

Busted Starfish

3 Burpees in the middle

Jump Squats on ends with Dry Docks other ends x10 of each exercise. Do exercise and return to middle

Road to Portland

Thanks for this little nugget, Hooch. 50% up long side of soccer field, 75% short side, AYG down long side. Dog it back to start. Did this x2. On 3rd one, we ran backwards on short sides

Back to parking lot

Freddy Mercury and 1 minute of plank

Moleskine

Thanks for allowing me to Q, Mad Dog. I haven’t been out to Commitment in a long while. Easy to see why it’s called Commitment…you really gotta want to be there. Guys got out what they put in today. Lots of laughing, and a limited amount of running (had to modify to make it 2.0 friendly). My 2.0 Parker came out. He was named Spiderman by the Gas Man. Rudy redeemed himself with that move and Parker seemed to like it. Maybe Dana will get so lucky at Effies…maybe. Had to intervene a bit during this portion as Bread Bowl thought the “Budweiser” was a good name for him. His technique is a bit raw (saw Fuse giving him tips at one point), but he’ll get there. Like his old man, he did seem to like the running portions.

Respect to Doughboy and Goodfella as well as the guys who ran the 5ks with their daughters after the F3 Christmas party. At one point during the planks at the end, Doughboy got close enough for Goodfella to smell the bourbon in the sweat. Would still have taken that aroma over Rudy’s Sarin any day of the week! Happy to help get the detox party started for both of you! Forgot Southern Belle at the end of Name-O-Rama. Wasn’t intentional, though I think Hooch’s yesterday probably was. National Title SEC Championship game on tonight. Good luck, SB.

Announcements

Keep Huggy Bear in your prayers. Goodfella seeking additional information about possible medical condition

Effie’s next Friday night at 8 at Briarcrest. Yes, it is a real thing. Yes, you should come

Thanks for taking us out Dough Boy

 

 

Rainmen

Posted on beHalfback:

 

8 Pax were foolish enough to be a true F3’er this morning all while brisk 36 degree rain splashing in our face with feel like temperatures in the upper 20’s. We covered a firm amount of ground with coming up just shy of 4 miles with moist socks and shoes weighing down all 8 pax as if they had cinderblocks tied town to their ankles.

 

Warm-up consisted of running a quick lap around the block and resorted to the farmers market tents to stay dry for a brief second to get a feel for what it would be like if we stayed and did the standard “rainy day” work out, tabata.

 

Warm up:

 

SSH IC x25

Imperial walker IC x15

Cherry picker IC x15

 

The thang:

 

  • Ran long 7’s on the hill with jump squats at the bottom and burpees at the top.

 

  • Mosey to Dream Chasers and did partner work, one guy ran around the block while other guy did dips, durkins, step ups, and inclined merkins. The timer was the guy running around the block.

 

  • Did a 20ft or so mosey to the street lamps and did five jump squats at ever light post.

 

  • Returned to AO and did SSH for the remaining two minutes.

 

Moleskin:

 

Although numbers were down from usual, none of the 8  pax that were in attendance took it personally.Shake n’ bake did another very impressive pre-run at 4:50am for the second day in a row…deadwood must have learned his lesson to not pre-run that early after Stubhub ran somewhat of a track meet at Dromedary yesterday. All in all, great morning of work with a great group of guys.

 

Announcements:

 

SOB/ Indian Land/ Western UC Christmas party: https://f3southcharlotte.com/?s=christmas+party (I think that link has all the necessary details)

 

Floater is closed next week for Thanksgiving

Uphill Both Ways in the…Dark

8 Pax finally experienced the colloquial grandfather’s tale of trudging uphill both ways in the snow to school. We trudged uphill to and from school alright, but exchanged snow for dark. Here’s how:

Warm-up: 

Ignition gets a 15 minute head start on Flash. We made the most of it. One loop to far entrance of High School and back to far entrance of Middle School. One hot lap around Middle School front parking lot and arrive just in time for Deflated’s VQ. Approximately 1.5 miles as appetizer. Quick sidebar:

From the past year we learned a couple things about Deflated:

  1. He’s very good at Photoshop
  2. His comedic timing and wit is second to none
  3. His commentary is hilarious…if you can actually hear what he’s saying
  4. He wears lots of layers of clothing (first time I’ve seen his arms at a workout was this morning). These layers probably kept most of us from realizing he…
  5. Cut over 50lbs since joining our rag tag isle of misfit toys here at F3. In other words, the dude made a choice to change his life and is enjoying the tremendous returns

One can only imagine the sweet nothings Foundation must have whispered in his ear to get him to take the plunge and Q today. It’s most likely not Backblast appropriate so we’ll have to be content to speculate.

Ignition crew did 24 SSH and perfectly cadence counted IWs. Once Deflated nailed the counting I decided it was time to go.

The Thang:

Proceed back up the school drive to the far Middle School entrance and on to Old Lawson. Dodged several cars (“might need to make headlamps and reflective apparel mandatory for Ignition”        -great recommendation by Dasher…)

To the Mill House Stop Sign. Was to be a triple nickel, but YHC guessed wrong on timing and distance and Pax were beginning to grumble. Wound up with a 3×3. Mill House Stop Sign to next stop sign (Easy Button and Dasher confirmed it was uphill both ways). Dry Docks at the smaller uphill and Merkins at the larger uphill. This pushed us north of 4 miles.

Long mosey down Lawson. “Can we at least do 1 merkin?” -Dasher.

Let’s do 10 at each light pole (poles on the right). Did this all the way to back of Lawson and then moseyed on to the trail through cemetery that leads to Champion Forest.

Survived dangerous cut through and paused to gather our thoughts. From there we to the first stop sign for a 10 count. This had us over 5.25 miles. Home stretch! After the 10 count we ran all the way up the big Champion Forest hill to the stop light. We cut down Moneyball hill (was a risky move by the Q), and hustled back to the start. On the long school straight away we eclipsed 6 miles which was my goal all along.

We had 3 minutes to spare. Quick Jack Webb. “This is the only NON-RUNNING part of the workout.” -Bottle Cap. We made it to 8 as time expired and joined back up with Flash.

Moleskin: 

Ignition crew absolutely killed it this morning. Great work by all. If memory serves, we climbed at least 5 hills numerous times. 6 miles was the goal and 6 miles with hills and a few upper body exercises was achieved. Hollywood is super human. Apparently 12 miles on an overnight CSAUP event this past Friday was what the doctor ordered to slow him down enough for the rest of us to see him. Bottlecap complained about his beer and pizza diet compliments of the Sox (did you hear, Boston won a title…again). All those carbs served as jet fuel as he was still out front. Chunder has a Legal Zoom quality about his stride in that he moves very quickly and you never have a doubt who’s fast approaching behind you. It’s possible Chunder was intended to be Thunder, but his naming group just decided to stick with it. Great effort, man! Oh to be 20 again!

Dasher, Easy Button, and I manned the middle with Hooch and Deadwood hot on our heels.

Circle Time:

Expect Deflated’s VBB later this afternoon.

Announcements:

Joe Davis Run – See Posse for more details

#Clyent Dinner – Thursday evening workout at Food Lion in Waxhaw. Bootcamp and Brews is the theme

Bible Study at 5 Stones – Wednesday mornings after Chiseled

Bone Fr…- just kidding

 

 

Strangled By a Weak Midget

A faux Gazelle wearing a Super Heavy weighted vest had stampeding Clydesdales running him down all morning. Details below:

Warm Up: 

Little time for small talk as YHC needed to take one confirmation lap regarding today’s festivities. Rolled into the lot at o’Jingles 30 and off we went…Oh, did I mention the Super Heavy weighted vest? Super Heavy.

Long mosey down #KJH towards insurance office across the street from Providence.

SSH – 15

Dugans, Calf Stretch, Quads…let’s go

The Thang:

Head over to North Providence Street for a little Paula Abdul (2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back)

Run 2 Light Poles and do 5 Jump Squats, Back 1 Light Pole and 10 Speed Skaters

Do this all the way up North Providence Street to Dreamwreckers Brewery. Double back for six. Then hold Al Gore until all complete

Head over to mini-wall for a little single leg squats all together

10 Single Leg Squats all together on each leg. Walk to short wall by bridge. 1 Minute People’s chair hold.

Over the bridge, continue on South Providence Street towards Bad Idea. Hold Deep Squat while waiting for 6.

At the base of Bad Idea, Pax instructed AYG all the way to the top of Bad Idea with 10 Jump Squats at the top, at the bottom, 10 squats

Rinse and half repeat. Deep squats until 6 concluded.

Head back up South Providence Street. At big hill approaching Main Street, AYG to the top 5 burpees upon arrival. Mosey back towards COT.

At COT, I extricated myself from the Super Heavy weighted vest. Pax thought we were done, but 2 minutes remained. “Thou Shalt Not Be Cheated” is the motto of Floater. Actually, just made that up, but it’s bound to stick!

2 minute fast mosey. At the 1 minute mark, stop running down #KJH and return to COT. That’s it.

14 Pax, 3.2-ish miles covered and approximately 250 leg movements. Leg Day concluded. Hopefully, Leg Day a success.

I had a grand sense of accomplishment having posted in the Super Heavy weighted vest. Fuse Box thought it looked light. Confirmation of that sad reality occurred when the M weighed it for me…10lbs. 10 lousy lbs is all that thing weighed! It felt like I’d been strangled by a weak midget for 43 minutes. I gotta toughen up a bit. On the bright side, I now know how good it felt to shed that 10lbs. Maybe I should lose 10 more of my own! You boys dropping weight in the weight loss challenge have to feel so much better.

Moleskin: 

Here’s the obligatory, “it’s such a privilege to lead such a great group of men” section. Here’s my take:

It’s such a privilege to be surrounded by such fun-loving, caring, kindhearted men who, if/when asked, will go out of their way to help anyone in need. This week alone I’m reminded of Rubbermaid fixing Big 10’s M’s toilet, Dancing Bear’s Shampoo initiative with his daughter, Zinfandel exploring the opportunity to dine with orphans, COTS, the outpouring of support for flood victims, and the tributes to the young girl who tragically passed this past weekend. All of the above speak volumes to the caliber of the individuals in our midst.

Selfishly, the inquiries, prayers, and offers of support for our adoption effort have blown me away. Just some of the things you all have done include, but are not limited to: prayers, watching our children while we transport him back and forth, offers of support as needed, helping search for (and offering bikes), clothing donated, a bunk bed purchased so my girls could move in together and free up a room for our new son- outside of the bike none of which was solicited. Thank you. Sincerely thank you. You guys make me a better man. I hope someday in the future I’ll be afforded the opportunity to repay you in some way for your kindness.

I’ll leave it there as the pollen count in my office has gone up quite a bit!

Announcements: 

Shampoo Crew – Donations Needed

3rd F Opportunities:

Open Door- Sunday @ 7 @ Five Stones

Sanctuary- Monday @ 7:30 @ Brooklyn Pizza

COTS (Church on the Streets) – Next Sunday

Children’s Outreach Effort Alexander ——- Network (children’s center)-  Opportunity to have lunch with children who have lost their parents. On Mondays. Hook up with Zinfandel for more details

Late GroupMe Announcement- Tomorrow’s AMRAP Zinfandel has put his money where your legs are for Hurricane Relief. See how much we can squeeze out of him. Hopefully others will contribute as well

Thanks Mad Dog for taking us out.