Author Archive MoneyBall

Strangled By a Weak Midget

A faux Gazelle wearing a Super Heavy weighted vest had stampeding Clydesdales running him down all morning. Details below:

Warm Up: 

Little time for small talk as YHC needed to take one confirmation lap regarding today’s festivities. Rolled into the lot at o’Jingles 30 and off we went…Oh, did I mention the Super Heavy weighted vest? Super Heavy.

Long mosey down #KJH towards insurance office across the street from Providence.

SSH – 15

Dugans, Calf Stretch, Quads…let’s go

The Thang:

Head over to North Providence Street for a little Paula Abdul (2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back)

Run 2 Light Poles and do 5 Jump Squats, Back 1 Light Pole and 10 Speed Skaters

Do this all the way up North Providence Street to Dreamwreckers Brewery. Double back for six. Then hold Al Gore until all complete

Head over to mini-wall for a little single leg squats all together

10 Single Leg Squats all together on each leg. Walk to short wall by bridge. 1 Minute People’s chair hold.

Over the bridge, continue on South Providence Street towards Bad Idea. Hold Deep Squat while waiting for 6.

At the base of Bad Idea, Pax instructed AYG all the way to the top of Bad Idea with 10 Jump Squats at the top, at the bottom, 10 squats

Rinse and half repeat. Deep squats until 6 concluded.

Head back up South Providence Street. At big hill approaching Main Street, AYG to the top 5 burpees upon arrival. Mosey back towards COT.

At COT, I extricated myself from the Super Heavy weighted vest. Pax thought we were done, but 2 minutes remained. “Thou Shalt Not Be Cheated” is the motto of Floater. Actually, just made that up, but it’s bound to stick!

2 minute fast mosey. At the 1 minute mark, stop running down #KJH and return to COT. That’s it.

14 Pax, 3.2-ish miles covered and approximately 250 leg movements. Leg Day concluded. Hopefully, Leg Day a success.

I had a grand sense of accomplishment having posted in the Super Heavy weighted vest. Fuse Box thought it looked light. Confirmation of that sad reality occurred when the M weighed it for me…10lbs. 10 lousy lbs is all that thing weighed! It felt like I’d been strangled by a weak midget for 43 minutes. I gotta toughen up a bit. On the bright side, I now know how good it felt to shed that 10lbs. Maybe I should lose 10 more of my own! You boys dropping weight in the weight loss challenge have to feel so much better.


Here’s the obligatory, “it’s such a privilege to lead such a great group of men” section. Here’s my take:

It’s such a privilege to be surrounded by such fun-loving, caring, kindhearted men who, if/when asked, will go out of their way to help anyone in need. This week alone I’m reminded of Rubbermaid fixing Big 10’s M’s toilet, Dancing Bear’s Shampoo initiative with his daughter, Zinfandel exploring the opportunity to dine with orphans, COTS, the outpouring of support for flood victims, and the tributes to the young girl who tragically passed this past weekend. All of the above speak volumes to the caliber of the individuals in our midst.

Selfishly, the inquiries, prayers, and offers of support for our adoption effort have blown me away. Just some of the things you all have done include, but are not limited to: prayers, watching our children while we transport him back and forth, offers of support as needed, helping search for (and offering bikes), clothing donated, a bunk bed purchased so my girls could move in together and free up a room for our new son- outside of the bike none of which was solicited. Thank you. Sincerely thank you. You guys make me a better man. I hope someday in the future I’ll be afforded the opportunity to repay you in some way for your kindness.

I’ll leave it there as the pollen count in my office has gone up quite a bit!


Shampoo Crew – Donations Needed

3rd F Opportunities:

Open Door- Sunday @ 7 @ Five Stones

Sanctuary- Monday @ 7:30 @ Brooklyn Pizza

COTS (Church on the Streets) – Next Sunday

Children’s Outreach Effort Alexander ——- Network (children’s center)-  Opportunity to have lunch with children who have lost their parents. On Mondays. Hook up with Zinfandel for more details

Late GroupMe Announcement- Tomorrow’s AMRAP Zinfandel has put his money where your legs are for Hurricane Relief. See how much we can squeeze out of him. Hopefully others will contribute as well

Thanks Mad Dog for taking us out.

Will The Real Dancing Bear Please Stand Up?

Posted on behalf of Dancing Bear. Enjoy!

It was a VQ this morning for Dancing Bear and my heart was overflowing with joy when half of the PAX showed up in white t-shirts to work-out in honor of the Q. With 26 PAX on site, there was talk of this being an attendance record for this AO. I had to live up to the hype of delivering a solid VQ.

The Warm up:

Mosey from the Water Tower to the corner of the Bridge and Dreamchasers for a cirlcle up.

20-Imperial Walkers

20-Mountain Climbers

20-heals to heaven

The Thang:

After and exchange of Good mornings and a good warm up that didn’t include any SSH’s, we started with a light pole run starting at dreamchasers and ending at the of other end of the street. One light pole was 10 merkins and next light pole was 10 squats. When done some went back for the six while the rest of the PAX grabbed some wall to do dips. The Q then realized he lost his weinke during the exercise. I felt my backside pucker as I didn’t want to forget any part of the workout. How was this to turn out? Only 1 way to find out. Keep pressing the group forward.

Once the six was in we moseyed back to the water tower to get set for 4 laps of 4 corners. First corner was holding squat while giving 20 jab punches. Damascus’s  ears perked up when the Q said it will be 20 for each arm and the rest of the PAX knew they were in for a treat based off facial expressions. Second corner was 20 dry docks. Then after running up the hill to the third corner, you did 20 plyometric hand slap jumps. Judging by the groans at the end this was the majorities favorite. The final corner was 20 plank jacks. There was no catching your breath with SSH’s on this rotation. The PAX did a great job finishing the set and the six was not far behind the pack. This wore everyone out. The Q was feeling good at this point about the workout.

With 15 minutes left and the PAX looking for a break we took a 10 count. After that it was to the bottom of the hill!! I knew the PAX was winded when I could hear faint gripes in the wind. At the bottom of the hill we partnered up with a lifting rock. First set, one ran the hill while the partner did curls until he returned. The next set was the hill while the partner did triceps. This set off Recalculating to yell in a whining tone, “We did this yesterday!” With a quick reply from the Q, “Deal with it!!” The Q felt this banter energized the PAX and we finished strong with one last set of hill-runs mixed with squat thrusters.

By this time, everyone was spent. We moseyed or in some cases walked (Moneyball) back to the water tower for circle. The day was capped by a picture of the white t-shirt crew. In the excitement of a very successful VQ, the Q left his phone on the back of Southern Belles truck which fell of half way home on the side of the road. The Q used the kids Ipad and the find my Iphone function to locate the phone.



Happy Hour tonight 7pm at East Coast Wings. Come, Eat, Drink, and be Merry so Briarcrest can win the weight loss challenge

Q school is this Saturday from 630-830 at Cuthbertson Middle. It will comprise of a light 1-hour workout followed by a review of Q documentation. If you are thinking of Q-ing or only Q’ed a couple times this class is for you.

Remember to collect hotel toiletries for the “Shampoo Crew”

Finally, let’s remember to exercise patience today at work and at home as we never know where others journey is taking them from day to day.


Covered In Glitter at 6am

27 Men woke up early on a Monday morning for some running, merkins, squats, and…glitter.


F2 Pace warm up lap towards front of school with abrupt return to start to pick up Jingles (back on regular schedule) and Frack.

SSH x 20

IW x 15

Jimmy Dugan (Frack said he needed a good stretch)

Merkins x 15

Low Slow Squats x 15

Mosey to long path

The Thang:

5 Merkins at each light all the way to Transporter’s office

Speedsters Circle back for the 6

Mosey towards football field 5 Merkins at each light pole (approximately 7 additional light poles)

At base of hill, gather up for an extended Triple Nickel. 3 Exercises 5 Times.

10 Squats at bottom of hill/run up/5 burpees at top and return to bottom. Do this 5 times

Mary while waiting for groups to finish

Mosey to alcove/portico on the side of the high school. Partner up.

Partner 1 runs down sidewalk and across street and back / Partner 2 does Mike Tysons – Did this 2x. It was also here most of us got to roll around in a little glitter. If the M asks how you were covered in glitter at 6am, just blame me (Deflated’s suggestion)

Mosey back towards front of school. 7 light poles x 10 squats at each light pole

Partner up again and form 2 lines for a relay race (time kill)

Sprint to first light and back. I think it wound up a tie

The End


Great work today guys. To nobody’s surprise, Hollywood set the pace with Halfback close behind. There was a little banter but nothing over the top. Really impressive showing by Akbar…especially on that Triple Nickel. Good work, man! YHC also received Rubbermaid’s “Fogged Windows Q Seal of Approval” as I couldn’t even see his eyes during Name-O-Rama! To fog the windows like that requires some digging. You really pushed it today, great job!


Crane Relay – see Posse

Sanctuary tonight at Brooklyn Pizza

Shepherd on Q Watchtower tomorrow

YHC took us out



Give me AMRAP…and a Floater

Heavy sweating, heavy breathing, poor clock management, and Frack made this morning a wonderful experience. The Floater requires a backblast. It’s just what we do. Here’s the backblast:

Warm up:

Long lap around the backside of the church and circle up

SSH x 20

IW x 20

Potato Pickers x 10

Merkins x 20

Stretch calves IYO / Enough. Mosey to bottom of #keithjonghill

The Thang:

Floater prides itself as being the most complete AO in WUC. We work hard, we laugh, we honor the burpee train, and we DO BACKBLASTS AT ALL COSTS (substitute BB poster took license on all caps portion). Since the AMRAP at Impromptu has apparently gone the way of Cool Runnings, YHC thought it wise to bring it back…and incorporate the Floater’s benevolent mascot, #keithjonghill into the equation. Run to bottom and find lifting rock.

At bottom do 20 curl to presses run up hill and do:

10 merkins

10 plank jacks

20 lbcs

10 plank rotations

10 dry docks

20 squats

1 burpee at the top (do a burpee more for each time you make it to the top of #keithjonghill).

We did this for “25” minutes. Admittedly, YHC can’t tell time and has no concept of how long an activity may take. It is possible we went over the “25” minute mark, but YHC (subti-BB’er) digresses.

All finished, discarded lifting rocks, and met at the stop sign at the top of #keithjonghill

50% to the speed bump at the bottom and then AYG back to the top

Quick mosey to next stop sign. And then again to last. Circle up for some Mary. Done.

Circle Time:

Great work out and great guys. No announcement substi-BB’er can remember other than a chance to serve Longos and help them move this Saturday. Hopefully a 5 Stoner will have more info on that front. Substi-BB’er is really sorry if he omitted any announcements or key items…I tried to remember it.

Also Open Door Bible Study at 5 Stones office this Sunday at 7am.

Substi-BB’er took us out.




The Day After Yesterday…

Nobody and nothing could live up to the hype that surrounded yesterday and Big 10’s VQ. By midday yesterday, the high of being led around campus by Big 10 was replaced by soreness in the chest, arms, and shoulders. He sneakily put a whoopin’ on us and did so without a single SSH…at least none that he called out!

Today’s festivities were to be decidedly different. 16 men showed up for a little #HeartRateExplosion. P.S. – NO GRASS, NO BURPEES, and NO MERKINS were involved. Here’s how it happened:


Casual mosey around the front of school. Jingles’ punctuality has really improved as he was able to enter the parking lot under 50mph, on all 4 wheels and still join us at the opening mosey. Well done, Jingles. Good to see you again, too!

Circle up by Cars:

SSH x 20

Bottlecap was still in playground mode from yesterday and attempted a Q Jacking with a game of Duck, Duck, Goose. Fortunately for the remnant Briarcrest survivors, the game didn’t take flight. It did however, deliver a great laugh!!!

Low Slow Squats x 20

Old Man Stretch

Mountain Climbers x 20

Jimmy Dugans

Calf Stretches

Mosey towards the bridge

The Thang:

Lunge walk across the length of the bridge and then mosey to the track.

To the surprise and chagrin of the pax this morning, we were using the track. There were gasps and promises uttered in hushed tones that our use this morning would never be spoken of publicly.

Four Corners – Basically run a quarter of the way around the track and do 25 squats. 4 stops = 100 squats

When complete, discretely exit track and head to short wall. Partner up for step ups. Partner 1 does step ups on the short wall while Partner 2 runs to bridge and back. Do this 2x

Mosey towards the stadium. At this point, YHC asked if the pax were familiar with the “3 S’s”. Some were under the impression it was referring to S#*+, Shower, and Shave. Not today.

3 S’s- 3 S’s included Squats, Stadium Stairs, and Speed Skaters.

Pax did 30 Squats, ran all Stadium Stairs, and did 30 Speed Skaters on the other side. The goal was to do this 3x but time was not on our side so we audibled to 2 for the lead pack and finish your last flight of Steps and Speed Skaters for the trail pack. Then mosey back over to short wall. People’s Chair against concession stand until pax arrived. Courtesy 10 count. We then did the unthinkable…went back on the track.

Low Squatting, Hand Slapping, Track Running Thing- Admittedly, YHC made this one up on the fly. Partner up arms length apart facing one another. Get in deep squat position and hold it. Then, alternate smacking hands until you reached 50 smacks. Partners run opposite direction on track until the meet again. Repeat. Partners run back towards where they started for one final set of 50 slaps. 150 total slaps whilst squatting.

Sidebar- YHC had the privilege of partnering with Shake N Bake. The glove situation on that man is nothing short of appalling. Keep him in and the rest of us in your thoughts as he chooses to wear those bacteria traps to our workouts! He did kindly remove them, but only after we were 20 smacks in and YHC had been coated in the hazardous sludge oozing from the palms of those well-worn mitts. Wish I could say the palm feel was better, but the glove funk was indeed fully transferable. Digression over.

Mosey towards front of school where we had 1 minute left. We SSH’ed for 1 full minute and that was that.

Circle Time:

Jingles, Dough Boy, and Shake N Bake continue to struggle in the glove department but crushed the workout today. Dancing Bear has YHC convinced he’s a seasoned wet t-shirt contest participant. Seeing way too clear an outline of those nips post workout, bro. If you’re not careful, you’re gonna wind up in a bloody nip meme like Foundation (OG story…pics exist and they’re awesome). E-Harmony’s recommendation of a shirt (and glove) order from F3 site could NOT have been better timed. Rubbermaid needs either contacts or windshield wipers on those glasses. Hard work really fogs up the windows, though. Great job, man. Deflated continues to get faster and we can’t wait for his finished t-shirt design- destined to be his second smash hit!

Awesome effort by all today. Good to see some old faces along with all you new guys. Everybody pushed hard. As mentioned, we did NO GRASS, NO BURPEES, and NO MERKINS. Some would call that a missed opportunity. YHC calls it 3.5 miles of fun with friends who are destined to have wobbly legs by noon today!


Please keep Snoop (Dean Longo), his wife Lynnmarie, and their family in your prayers as she’s battling cancer. Cancer sucks and she’s a wonderful lady.

Shirt order for UC mentioned earlier by E-Harmony. Haven’t seen him in the Playhouse, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t #lurk. Somebody can get to him for you if interested.

Thank you, Dough Boy, for taking us out.

You’re Really Getting On My Nerves!!!

YHC was running a tad behind this morning but needed to confirm a couple locales for this morning’s festivities. Pulled into the lot at my former normal #528 time slot, ducked in amongst the pax, and shouted a 1 minute warning. Friendly banter, a couple jokes, and off we go.


Mosey across railroad tracks to the other side of Waxhaw across from Dreamchasers and circle up.

SSH x 20

Merkins x 10

Calf-stretches, Hamstring stretches, Old Man stretches

Complaints about Yoga class breaking out

Moneyball being rendered speechless by a Doughboy comment. First time for everything, I guess. Enough of the pleasantries, let’s begin.

The Thang:

Mosey on to the school on the other side of the tracks. It was about .25 mile in when we stopped for a quick 10 count to let all catch up. Bread Bowl counted us down a bit too quickly and off we went again. Bread Bowl was not pleased. “Moneyball, you’re really getting on my nerves with all this running.” YHC thinks he’s been going to Big 10 tutoring sessions or something. We got a chuckle and kept running on to Thin Mint’s hill aka Bad Idea aka Father of Keith Jong Hill aka a long steep hill for a little Jackie Robinson.

Truth be told, I have no idea if that’s an authorized workout name, but it made it easy to remember. Like a Triple Nickel, only 4 and 2. 4 exercises 2x.

Run to first light and do 25 squats

Run to second light do 25 merkins

Run to top and do 10 burpees

Back to Bottom and 50 LBCs

Rinse and repeat. Jackie Robinson. 42

Under the watchful eye of Big 10, Bread Bowl delivered a far more measured 15 count. Off we went again – mosey back up the hill towards Waxhaw for a little game of “Would You Rather”.

At the Railroad Bridge Pax had 2 choices:

  1. 3 Burpees at the bottom of bridge/3 at top/3 at bottom/3 back on top/3 at bottom or…
  2. 30 Speed Skaters/30 Squats/30 Calf Raises

At the Half-Wall Pax had 2 choices:

  1. Light Pole suicide or…
  2. 50 dips/25 derkins

Mosey to Full Wall across from church:

  1. 40 Donkey Kicks or…
  2. 80 American Hammers

Mosey to bottom of Keith Jong Hill:

  1. Run backwards to first stop sign or…
  2. Run forward to second stop sign

30 seconds remained. Back to COT for a AYG to stop sign and back. Finished!


Awesome effort by the Pax today. Rubbermaid said we covered right around 3 miles.

Really proud of Bread Bowl and how hard we worked. From what Dough Boy told us, he had a bit of a let down in sports a couple days prior. Really good to see him out there busting his butt at 5:30 in the morning. Great job, Bread Bowl! Seems like the entire group is getting faster. Damascus killed it and the Briarcrest crew is really coming on nicely. Great job Fuse Box on all the EHs. We left Posse behind again. Either we need to start waiting a bit longer or he needs to get there a bit earlier. Not sure which…Big 10 stayed until the end. He dodged a bullet today as we decided not to collect dues this morning.


Longos are moving. Dough Boy will circulate details

Keep Longo family in your prayers. Lynnmarie is battling Stage 4 cancer. A miracle is needed

Thanks Damascus for taking us out.



Well That Was a Cluster

18 pax came out for what was advertised to be a little competition. Q Fail and a bad weinke had other ideas. Ever heard the expression “A Monkey Humping a Football”? That’s what today seemed like to me. In fact, the inclusion of Monkey Humpers in the weinke might have been the only thing that could have saved the day.

Monkey – meet football. Football, here’s your monkey.

Due to self-sabotage (lost watch and keys), YHC rolled in at 5:28.30. I  attempted (and failed)  to assign each of the pax a number 1-5 based upon my impression of their speed, attempted (and failed) to group them in competitive teams, received observation from Hollywood it might have been prudent for YHC to have arrived a few minutes earlier (thanks, Captain Obvious), and braced for the chaos ahead. Only 45 minutes until this is over!

Warm-up: Ever get tired of running a lap and getting in a circle? YHC does. Today, we did it differently (and failed). Ran down the long path and stopped for a few warm up exercises as we went.

Jog to First light give disclaimer, allow Pax to complain about the lack of a circle- SSH x 20

Jog to Second light- Merkins x 20 (while waiting on rock gathering volunteers)

Third light- Hamstring stretches (clap when needed or when pax simply couldn’t contain themselves)

Gather at Transporter’s office for 1st failed attempt at a race

The Thang:

Group in your assigned teams. No Damascus, no problem…right? Wrong, Two teams had 5 members while the other two had 4 members. First landmine planted.

Round 1: 1s run to second street sign up the hill, do 25 squats and return. 2s go, 3s go, etc…While runners are running, everybody else is in wall-sits doing jabs. Audibled out of that after YHC realized it would wind up being 5 minutes of wall-sits and 5,000,000 jabs (fail). Al Gore until team finishes..nope, too long there too (fail again) everybody plank and don’t complain! Everybody finishes, off to the bus hill we went.

Round 2: 1s run up the bus hill to the awning by the steps. Waiting pax do merkins. (Fail #2- that’s a lot of merkins while waiting). Audible to Mary Katherines.

Round 3: Long mosey back to rock pile. 4 teams grab rocks. Indian run back to Transporter’s office. (Fail #3 – should have put rocks in hands of 5s and not 1s). Dasher took off like he’d stolen something. Everybody else scurried to catch up. Looked as if YHC had the only functioning team on the Indian Run. At Transporter’s office, we planked until everybody arrived. Flip-flopped and put rocks in 5s hands. 1s did 5 burpees to give headstart, 2s did 3 burpees, and 3s waited 3 seconds. No matter- Indian Run disaster. Rocks put away.

Round 4: It was at this point, teams were done away with and personal accountability was chosen in its stead. To the lunch tables:

50 dips

40 merkins

30 LBCs

20 Step-ups

10…I forgot. Oh yeah, I remember, 10 burpees

Pistol LBCs while waiting on 6.

Most completed the set. We moseyed to front of school for some ring runs.

Ring Runs: Starting at flag pole, run clockwise around circle until you meet the flag pole. 10 Bonnie Blairs and return counterclockwise to beginning for 10 more. Once finished, run back clockwise ALL the way around the parking lot for 10 Bonnie Blairs. When you complete those, run counterclockwise ALL the way around the parking lot in the opposite direction until you reach flag pole for…you guessed it, 10 Bonnie Blairs.

A few completed this. Once all were gathered back at the starting point, YHC decided to request a “AYG” back to the starting place. Apparently most tanks were depleted. Freddy Mercury’s and then hold legs at 30 degrees until time expired. The End.


My apologies for the “Charlie Foxtrot” of a weinke this morning. It was definitely a disheveled mess. Like most bad ideas, it looked really good on paper! Hopefully the pax got a good workout in in spite of my best efforts. I believe one of the Crapple watches reported us covering 2.65 miles or so. In referencing the Q, Dasher said, “You had good intentions.” In Southern parlance, that’s akin to saying “Bless your heart.” At least we didn’t hand out participation trophies at the end!!!

No announcements. Thanks, Doughboy for taking us out.

All Down Hill From Here

Round 2 of Moneyball Qs for the week. Started with Flash on Monday and brought’er home with Impromptu this morning. 18 men lunged, crawled, climbed, and raced to a 3 minutes too long Q.


Lap around the front parking lot, collect Posse and Foley for a quick warm up.

SSH x 20
Jimmy Dugans (cherry pickers minus the clap)
Merkins x 10 (hold it at 6″ on rep #10). Pax accused YHC of lying on the ground during this rep. Mistakenly, I claimed use of my kickstand. Duck Dad had none of it and immediately questioned the length of YHC’s kickstand. Fair inquisition.
Butt-Crack Shoulders Circles forward and Circles back. Enough.

The Thang:

Mosey to covered portico far right side of the front of the middle school for some lunges and a quick round of Dough Boy’s favorite exercise and YHC’s least (minus any grassy activity, of course), the Bear Crawl.

Walking Lunge down entire covered portico, then 2 merkins at each brick column with a bear crawl in between.

Pax completed this section with expected ease. Quick Q question for the Pax: “Are you all familiar with the phrase, ‘It’s all down hill from here? Don’t take it literally.'” Down the hill we moseyed. All down…and up hill from here.

YHC perused the F3 owner’s manual looking for some fun bad workout ideas. Found 3- 1 new, 1 I’ve used before, and 1 I’m saving for next time.

Wilt Chamberlains- In honor of Wilt’s 100pt game, do 4 exercises 100 times in succession. Supposed to only run 100 feet between, but what fun would that be!?

The Exercises (do them in the order you think will suck the least): Squats, Split Squats, LBC’s, Flutters.

1. Run to bottom light near Transporter’s office do first exercise 100x and run back to the top of the hill
2. Run to next light near it and do 2nd exercise 100x and run back to the top of the hill
3. You get it
4. You got it

Strong showing by the Pax on the Chamberlains. May have to tweak it for future use.

Mosey to former AMRAP hill for some partner B.O.M.B.S.
B = Burpees x 25
O = Overhead Claps x 50
M = Merkins x 75
B = Bonnie Blairs x 100
S = Squats x 125

Original B.O.M.B.S. in F3 owner’s manual says 50/100/150/200/250. We’ll do that next time, but for today YHC cut that in half as time was a wastin’ and I had one last thing in mind. Partner up. P1 runs to bottom of the hill. P2 does exercise. Reach 25/50/75/100/125 of each.

Mosey to front of school for final act. 2 minutes remained, but they were 5 minutes well spent. Time for a good ol’ fashioned Relay Race.

Two Teams: Fast Guys and Slow Guys.

NOTE to Future Qs- Foley is NOT slow. Mighty Mite is NOT slow. Doughboy and Ackbar move quite well. Posse takes very wide turns.

Not as Fast Slow guys go a shorter distance than Fast guys. Slow Guys lose, they get 15 burpees. Fast guys lose, they get 10.

Sandbaggers Slow Guys smoked Fast Guys. Fast Guys paid their dues and we moseyed back to COT.

The End.


Apologies for the 3 minute overage. They were a fun use of the time and showed just how fast Clydesdales and self-proclaimed “slow guys” can move when competition is involved and burpees are on the line! YHC will remember how fast you moved at the end of today’s workout and will 100% use it to “motivate” you to push yourselves going forward. Absolutely terrific effort, guys. Well done!

Reluctant “Fast Guys” more than held their own on Team Speed, but to be honest, the pace at which the “Slow” team moved was quite the shock. We now know what you got!!!

Slow guys trash talked a little as they saw the game was in their hands. Journeyman Mighty Mite got in some good taunts as he sealed the deal for the Slow Guys. Dude is NOT slow and is not a Mite. Well played, sir. Well played.

YHC encouraged our resident clergy member to cheat in order to win. He wasn’t having it (atta boy, Ackbar!).



Moved quickly as YHC’s time management skills caught a case of the Hooch’s. My bad guys.


  1. Q School tomorrow at Panera on 521
  2. Loafer and his appendix (now lack thereof)
  3. Fuse Box’s client’s family
  4. Transporter’s wife

Thanks, Ackbar, for taking us out.

Raise Your Hand If You Can’t Count to 5!

YHC took the reins of the best way to start the work week, the good ol’ Flash. Shampoodle offered a ride this morning, but recon was needed thus no Screech Owl clown car for this morning’s festivities.

Roll in at Jingle’s speed at 5:29, don’t announce I’m on Q. The two who seemed to know asked if I needed a review of my weinked. YHC assured them my weinke is reviewed early and often. To 80% of the PAX surprise, it was time to go and YHC was leading the charge.

Warm-up: Two laps around the lot while waiting for Jingles Melt Down to hop out of the truck, shed the bio suit, throw his shoes on, and join us.

SSH x 20
Jimmy Dugan’s (YHC named them. They are cherry pickers minus the clap. Reference the movie ‘A League of Their Own’. “Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan”. In the words of the immortal Tom Hanks, “That’s good advice”. Digression over
Quad Stretch
Merkins x 10

The Thang:

Mosey to front of school. Partner up. Partner 1 runs across to sidewalk while Partner 2 does Derkins. Did this x2

Mosey to steps by bus hill. Partner 1 runs up steps to touch school. Partner 2 does Bonnie Blairs at the bottom until return. This x2

Mosey to Cool Runnings hill (RIP) for a little Triple Nickel. En route, YHC decided to give the Pax a little thrill and detoured through some safe-looking grass. Judging by the response from the Pax, it was quite the surprise!

As is standard with triple nickels (except with the rogues this morning), Do 3 things 5 times.
1. Run to last speed bump at top of the hill
2. Do 5 Merkins, run back down
3. Do 5 LBCs

Seems straightforward, right? As the lead group completed the third revolution in the triple nickel, a renegade subset of Pax attempted a mid-nickel Q-jacking. YHC was having none of it. When asked, “Have you made it up the hill 5x?” Pax responded in what sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher voicing displeasure. That, or Deflated DJ-ing Open Mic night at Dreamchasers…YHC digresses again. According to one Pax who shall remain nameless (Damascus), “I heard what I wanted to hear.” In the spirit of getting a good workout, the Pax doing the modified Dolly’s and LBCs (laying on the ground), got up and conquered the hill one last time. Lead group did the 5x and mercifully shut it down for the group.

Mosey back towards home base. Stop mid-lot for a little clock work.
Plank position starting at noon. 1 Merkin all the way around the clock with an extra at 11 just for good measure.

Mosey back towards home base. YHC decided again to risk life and limb for the sake of the Pax and provided walking opportunities through the treacherous grass on the way back. Walk in the grass and run again when you hit sidewalk. It was a joke the first time, then as Cha-Ching and Half Back pulled up beside, they both agreed the whole starting and stopping and starting thing sucks…particularly after a FULL TRIPLE NICKEL!!!

Mosey back to home parking lot for the Finisher. That’s my very elementary finishing move at all Q’s. Once you’ve had enough, let’s squeeze a suicide out of you. Most completed it, some threw in the towel (pun intended). Time expired, but not before Posse streaked to the finish line. Awesome push, man. Great work! That’s it. Circle Time.


Nice humid morning for some running. Legal Zoom would have been proud. Bratwurst would not as we did not include A, B, C, or D skips into the running. Maybe next time. Nearly had an IPA dump by Dough Boy, but he held it in and held it together. Great work. Rockwell, Deflated, and Akbar really pushed it today. Clydesdales don’t like the humidity, and in spite of it, they still worked hard. Good to see the 89 year-old Gator Cub back in the game as well.


Brooklyn Pizza Bible study this evening- Akbar on Q

Loafer’s appendix decided to burst. He’s home recovering. Lift him up in prayer

Fuse Box’s client’s wife passed away. Keep that family in your prayers as well

YHC took us out.

The Whole Thing is a Sham…

Humid, but all-in-all nice morning at Watchtower. YHC volunteered in yesterday’s COT to Q today. I love Watchtower. So much to see and do. Today, the plan was to see it and do it in quarter mile increments.


The calorie burn title belt definitely came up. Consensus among Watchtower pax is that it is possible we’ll need to explore a more sophisticated measuring device. In Recalc’s words, “the whole thing is based on a 50 year-old man with a bum hip and a crapple watch who may or may not be feeling it that day.” He may be on to something. 🙂


Quarter mile lap around the parking area while waiting for Jingles Xerox to arrive.

SSH: 25 IC with pace
Clover Pickers: Hamstring stretch
Old Man Stretch
Merkins: 10 IC

The Thang:

.25 mile mosey towards upper parking lot. Under school portico, do 10 burpees on your own. Head over to upper parking area.

As mentioned before, Watchtower AO is IMO the 2nd best site in WUC. The Site Q, on the other hand, is the best in the land. After a brief text exchange Monday night, Posse sent an image of a loop that would suit our needs perfectly. But he didn’t stop there. He decided to arrive early and actually coned off a course for us around the upper parking lot. Thank you for doing that, Posse. I’m quite certain you’re the glue that holds this whole thing together. Sappy shout out over.

Here we go- Run lap and double back for 6. As a group, perform exercise.

Lap 1: 25 Squats
Lap 2: 25 Merkins (or pulse merkins to finish first)
Lap 3: 25 Jump Squats – then grab lifting rock. 1 set of 21s (bicep curls)
Lap 4: 25 bicep curls. Replace rocks.

Upon conclusion, we did LBC, American Hammer, H2H, and Freddy Mercury’s all IC x 25.

.25 mile mosey over the bridge for 10 burpees on your own.

Mosey to stadium bleachers and run each of the sets of stairs. At this point, YHC watched Hollywood torch the steps and yielded to Foundation and Deflated who both made short work of those stadiums.

25 LBCs while waiting for 6.

Mosey to short wall. 50 dips (2 quarters?). On the mosey to the short wall, Hollywood pointed out a freshly lined GRASS field. He seemed to indicate the ground would be both flat and dry with the exception of dew. And so, since Damascus so unexpectedly deprived us all of Man Touching on Monday, and Mad Dog regaled us with tales of going “Through Tunnels” and “Nuts to Butts”, YHC decided to do the unexpected and throw the ultimate curve ball- We hit the grass!

Reverse Suicide. Run to Far End Zone and back, Far 10 and back, Far 20 etc…Run with and until 6 finishes.

Mosey back to start

3 Minutes remained.

25 SSH with pace

30 seconds high knees

5 Burpees

Stopped EXACTLY on time. Q’s watch is always right…unless you’re Hooch. His runs 3-5 minutes late. 🙂


Awesome effort today by all PAX. Thanks as always for the chance to lead. We clocked 2.75 miles and hopefully got in a pretty decent workout.

Based upon early returns out of GroupMe, it would appear Recalculating burned 5,426 calories. We’re waiting for confirmation. I believe the official crapple number to be closer to 527.

Runkeeper on my phone said I only got 441 out of the deal, so it’s possible the whole thing is a sham. The world may never know.

No announcements (Frack would have loved that part). YHC took us out.