Author Archive MoneyBall

Quad You Say?

17 Men put in some serious work on their largest muscle group. Here’s how it went down.


Quick lap around the cars and down the long path to Transporter’s Shed Rudy’s Refuge. Path is .25 miles long poles to poles. About 500 yards in YHC glanced back towards cars and saw three men running to catch up. 10 SSH upon their arrival…and mosey on. 100 yards more then 10 Squats. 100 yards more then 10 merkins. Mosey on to the Refuge.


Time for a burpee mile, Flash style. .25 mile run back up the path and 12 burpees. .25 mile back and 12 burpees. Up and back 2x. 1 mile and 48 burpees. The minors speedsters (great work Sprinkles and Flipper) circled back for the six and were joined shortly thereafter by Dasher and Easy Button. Once the sixes began to arrive at the last stop, the “gazelles” were volunteered for burpee contributions. 5 or 6 of us did 5 more burpees to make up for whatever the pax had left.

Grab some wall. 1 minute wall sit with jabs then 30 monkey humpers. Then another minute with 30 jump squats after that. Let’s mosey. Quads are heating up. At this point we headed towards the stairs. Dasher thought the gate might be open at the football field and that we could get some bleachers in. Since Damascus wasn’t with us, it seemed like a safe audible. Pax got a bit spread out on this mosey, so YHC stopped for some Mary and Dasher went to check the fence situation. American Hammers and LBCs (10 and 20 I think). On your feet and mosey again towards far end zone. Met Dasher there, he said it was locked. Audible back the way we came to the cul-de-sac by the suppine rails (the place where Foundation likes people to grab the fence and do squats like they’re in a Janet Jackson music video).

7’s- Squats at the bottom and Monkey Humpers at the top. Then we moseyed back towards the Refuge to grab some more wall. 1 minute with 30 seconds jabs and 30 seconds air presses. 5 minutes left.

Back up the trail. 10 single count speed skaters at each light pole. Made it to the end at exactly 6:15 on my watch. From what we could gather, Gerber was on Hooch Standard Time as the Ignition boys rolled in about 3 minutes later. It seemed like Zin and Dancing Bear came running from a completely different area. I’m guessing they were replacing the bikes they’d stashed in the woods in preparation for chasing Gerber through Champion Forest for an hour! All jokes aside, if you need motivation, just talk to Zin. His transformation is remarkable. And Dancing Bear…Dude showed up 7 times all winter. Now he’s been to 7 consecutive workouts!? Welcome back man. One day I’ll let you catch me…at this rate, you’ll do it on your own in no time flat.


Great work by the Flash crew. Dasher said he recorded 3.65 miles and other reports from pax sounded like everybody got at least 3.5. Thank you, Rockwell, for the opportunity to lead. Oh, and great job on the 7’s. You crushed that! Good seeing Finchy back out with us. He battled hard today. I love the “no quit” attitude. That workout sucked and you just kept coming back for more. Well done, man. The minors are like Lucky at the greyhound track. You run as fast as you can to catch them only to never actually catch them. Good job Sprinkles and Flipper. I do think Dasher got awfully close at one point, though. Easy Button- glad to have you as a running buddy. It seems like regardless of where we post, we wind up side by side. Thanks for the push to finish out those 7’s. Very limited mumblechatter from the pax today, though I did catch a “Let me guess…let’s mosey” from somebody. That was funny- and accurate as that’s exactly what we did a lot!

Final disclaimer- please exercise caution when getting on and getting off toilet today and tomorrow morning. The handicap stall with handrails is a 100% acceptable choice!


Sanctuary tonight at 7:30 at Brooklyn Pizza

Thanks to Mad Dog for taking us out.

Mistakes Were Made

Tags: Bottlecap, Deadwood, Dancing Bear, Chainsaw, Rockwell, Damascus, Schedule C, Toto, Loafer, Fuse Box, Dasher, Hollywood, Trojan, The Knish, Moneyball

15 pax sampled fare from afar before we got down to business. Mistakes were made this morning, mistakes were made. Here’s how it went down:

DiCCS issued. YHC reinforced my status as “not a professional”. First mistake was me announcing 4 new moves I’d borrowed from Johnson City F3 that YHC was sure would deliver results for the pax and complaints/cheats from Briarcrest. Second mistake was saying we weren’t going to be on the streets. Off we went. Within 15 seconds Dasher informed me the road we were on was in fact, a street. I told him it wasn’t a real street. He bought it.

Mosey down #KeithJongHill strategically placing 4 cones on the path down the steepest bits. Deadwood started guessing what YHC had in mind, but grew concerned with the cone count. “I don’t like where this is headed” and “How many of those things do you have?”, were his two most memorable comments. Complete the mosey down #KJH past the vet clinic to cross Providence (mistake #3). Mosey across the street to that building with the nice parking lot. No idea what that place is or what they do, but they have nice black top.


Mistake #4 was skipping SSHs in favor of Motivators. A “Motivator” is supposed to be something like a deconstructed 4 part jumping jack counting down from a number. I picked 7 IC. It goes full SSH (7IC), half arm SSH (7IC), No arm SSH (7IC), Hops (7IC). Mistake #5 – YHC screwed up Motivators. It was good as the pax weren’t as motivated to try the Motivator as I’d hoped. Audibled out of that into Mistakes #6,#7, and #8.

Johnson City called them Picking Cherries. Basically IC Moroccan Night Clubs with palms up (#6) and then palms down (#7). 25IC each. This did not go well. BC went full Frack on me. In fairness, the explanation was null. Also in fairness, it was possibly the most worthless exercise move this side of the Bear Crawl. Mistake #8 was what they referred to as the “Shoulder Pretzel”. Arms extended, bend elbows and touch shoulders and then touch traps. 25IC. I banged this after 5. Mistake #9 Merkins on my count. Meant to stop at 15, but accidentally stopped at 16. Hamstring stretches for Lou. Had to get back in his good graces after the earlier debacles! Enough, mosey to bank lot for a little partner work. 25 Dry Docks and we were off.

The Thang:

Partner up. Mistake #10. We had odd number of Pax. Partners run opposite directions and hand slap merkins. Sets of 5/4/3/2/1. Grab some wall with shoulder presses. Partner wall sits and presses while other partner runs lap. At each corner Dry Docks. 3 laps per partner. Sets of 5/3/1.

Mosey back up Providence towards Waxhaw. Mistake #11 cross Providence in a disjointed, not-all-together manner. Jog to bottom of #KJH. Once we made it to the designated starting place we had to wait on some pax. Not sure if one was peeing and the other was holding it, or if one was peeing and the other had a light on it or exactly what was going on up there. Anyway, finally, something challenging-ish.

Deck of cards: Hearts=Hand release Merkins / Diamonds=Diamond Merkins/ Clubs=Carolina Dry Docks/ Spades=Squats

Mistake #12, selecting a workout with multiple outcomes/instructions. Naturally, Damascus had questions about how this portion worked. At each cone, do the exercise. 4 cones and then finish climb to laundromat for burpees. 5 burpees first time, 4,3,2,1 and then run back to the bottom

Card 1: 10 Hand Release to the top then 5 burpees / Mistake #13 lost cards momentarily, but thankfully found by Damascus. Card 2: 10 Dry Docks, burpees / Card 3: 11 Squats / Card 4: 10 Dry Docks / Card 5: 7 Hand Release

I think that’s how that bit shook out. Mercifully made it back to COT.


Good work by everybody. Thanks for the patience with the #MistakeFest this morning. John Maxwell said, “Fail early (check), fail often (check), but always fail forward. All you newbs out there…don’t let fear of failure keep you from leading a workout. The screw ups are worth the laughs, I promise! Oh, but when you do screw up, be sure to come up with something brutal to make up for it/them and get even with the pax who complain!


Damascus debated with himself about what the upcoming workout schedule was. Convergences are going on all over the place. Check with him…or don’t

Congrats to Trojan landing the new gig. We’re glad Deadwood convinced himself he convinced you to come. We’re glad you decided to come that first time and have continued ever since. Good on you, man. We’re lucky to have guys like you in our group. Thanks for speaking up. Next step…VQ!!!!

Bottlecap took us out.

Lofty Expectations

Ignition- aka Hollywood’s insane asylum. 4 mile minimum…let’s just go ahead and say it now, a 4 mile Q won’t get you invited back! 12 Pax took a guided, meandering tour of new Lawson to get a jump start on their work week and hopefully meet Hollywood’s lofty expectations.

5:15-DiCCS done. We placed our lives (and my ankles) in Tupperware’s black bean and guacamole stained hands and followed him down the treacherous grassy hill, across a raging river, and through the woods to reach our launch point for the day’s festivities.


Way too fast a mosey Leisurely jog to pool circle up. SSH/Calf Stretches (for me)/10 Merkins/Enough

The Thang:

YHC ran into Transporter yesterday. Told him I was on Q at Ignition and was trying to figure out some good spots in new Lawson. He obliged with introducing me to a portion of his “Heat Run” that follows a hilly trail through the new side. As it turns out, the 1/2 man 1/2 machine Transporter actually chooses runs based upon how much they make him sweat. He said “this one is a good one.” On my scale 1-10, it scored a perfect 10, Full Dehydration. Kudos for that, Sean!!!

We left pool area in pursuit of the trail and jogged a half or mile or so to the road that connects both entrances. At the mailboxes there she was- Transporter’s Trail. We hit it at a high rate of speed. What a terrific miserable little .5 mile treat! We ran it the first time with no exercises to interrupt the fun. Then, 5 burpees later we ran back the way we came. At each bridge, do 5 burpees. As it turns out, Transporter Trail has more bridges than Pittsburgh (look it up). 40 or so burpees and ridiculous hill climbs later, we made it out the other side to where we began.

Jog back the way we came for a little backwards run. YHC remembered a cul-de-sac we’d run in the past. Initially, I gave into my lazy nature and called for what was “coined” a Dime. Basically, a half-a$$ version of a Triple Nickel. 10 squats at the top 5 burpees at the bottom…twice. Bottlecap didn’t like it, so we went ahead and made it a full-blown Triple.

Head back to pool area. 5 Squats at each light pole. Arrived back at pool for an Ignition first and last…an Abs station. 20LBCs/10 pistols each/20 Hammers. At this point, Hollywood began his interpretive dance known as the Frack. Where Frack doesn’t stretch, Hollywood doesn’t ab. It seemed like he was ready to run off and leave us, so I had to come up with a quick fix.

.5 mile back to where we launched. At each of the 50 light poles, 5 jump squats…oh yeah, and 5 burpees to get us started. We did Jump squats on the way down, merkins on the way back with burpees at each end. Final trip back towards launch we did plank jacks (one each leg) at each light. 1.5 bonus miles and heaven only knows how many squats, merkins, and plank jacks.

Back through the woods, across the raging river, and up the treacherous grassy hill and on to the safety of paved surface. At this point, YHC had a dilemma- do we join Flash with 3 minutes left or smile and run right through the middle of the Irish jig they were all doing? We joined in…best guess was we were doing hand release merkins. One lap in. I was able to wrangle most of the Igniters for a final suicide. 6:15 done. Between 4.8 and 5.25 miles covered. Hollywood still not pleased about the abs. It’s possible I’ll never lead Ignition again.


Ignition guys (minus Wolverine and Hollywood) seemed tired at the end of the workout. As my heart was still pounding in my ears, I thought I heard a voice that sounded like an amalgamation of Johnny Depp’s pirate, Steve Irwin’s Crikey, and a dash of Colin Farrell. I also saw a man handing out coins of some sort (we didn’t get to keep them). Posse yet again pulled out all the stops and put on quite the celebratory Q. From the chatter on GroupMe, that accent(s) carried on for 45 minutes. Next Q School Posse’s committed to introducing us to the finer points of cadence counting while out of breath and in an accent! Flash was the rainbow and its backblast will undoubtedly be a Pot of Gold. Can’t wait to read it, Posse!

The accent from the guy on the Lucky Charm’s box took us out.


Lattini (sic?) 8k coming up soon. Damascus on Q. See Posse and News Channels for more details

Dash For Down. See Rubbermaid

JDRF Walk. See Easy Button

Will You Get Back Up?

18 men joined YHC on a substi-Q full of ups and downs. Vince Lombardi said, “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” Also, Chumbawamba said, “I get knocked down, I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down.” The question of the day and the idea behind today’s weinke was this: Will you get back up? Today was more of a mental test than a physical one. Here’s how it went down:

Pax waited expectantly for Jingles to fly into the lot right at 5:30. But, as 5:30 came and went, it was clear things needed to commence with or without him. With the exception of the Site Q (yes Rubbermaid, DW is a Site Q at Watchtower) and a couple other accomplices, nobody knew YHC volunteered to take the Q so Deadwood wouldn’t. Off we go!

Warm up:

Jog to far corner of Target parking lot


Dana Stretch

Jimmy Dugan

Plank/6”/Plank/6”/Plank/6” – all held a beat too long for Posse’s liking. “I could have done this in my bed.” When asked if he was laying down, his reply: “Yep”. Well played, Posse! Enough of that, let’s do this.

The Thang:

Head into the neighborhood behind Target (Wesley Oaks?) and run to first stop sign. Will you get back up?

25 stops on the 1 mile straightaway comprised of light poles and end points.

9 points until first break x 5 merkins = 45 merkins

16 points until end of street x 5 jump squats = 80 jump squats

16 points until stop sign x 5 merkins = 80 merkins

9 points until starting line x 5 jump squats = 45 jump squats

2 miles, 125 merkins, 125 jump squats. Gazelles got in another .5 mile doubling back and probably around another 25 or so of both exercises.

Re-group and head back to Brooklyn Pizza for Dock Webb.

1 Dry Dock and 4 Bear Crawls- all the way up to 10 Docks and 40 Crawls.

YHC knew this part would be the worst part. We were all tired (both physically and mentally). Who would push through it, dig deep and finish? Admittedly, YHC screwed this up. We should have done it in cadence in order to hold pax accountable. Sorry about that Zin and One Star. You both definitely got to 10 and 40. Great work!

20 American Hammers, 10 Pistol LBCs both leg, jog to circle. Done.  

All told everybody got at least 2.5 miles in with the front of the pack pulling down anywhere from 3 to 3.25. Awesome work, fellas.


Dash for Down – See Rubbermaid for details

Lattini 5 miler- See Posse for details.


Here’s the obligatory, “It’s a privilege to lead…” line. It really is. You guys make me better, so thank you. Here’s a little nugget for you…or maybe it’s a 6 pack of nuggets. Either way, here goes:

We all have more in us than we think. Whether in life or a workout, the “more” is in there. We just have to have the courage, resolve, and stubbornness to keep looking for it until we find it. Challenge for today (God knows I need it) is this: Get Back Up! When life lands a haymaker, choose today to Get Back Up! When you’re tired and weary and weak, Get Back Up! It’s in you and it’s worth seeking out. It all starts with a choice. So choose today to Get Back Up! And if you need a quick confidence boost remember this- From 5:30 until 6:15 you chose to get up at least 50 times. See!? It wasn’t that difficult and it was and is definitely worth it. Have a great day, guys.

It’s Bo-Time!!!

YHC promised a follow up to Zinfandel’s “Transient Anus” Jellyfish GroupMe post from Tuesday. That little science nugget confirmed exactly how the weinke would unfold at ol’ #87. Lots of quick movements in lots of different places…some more than others…some different than others. Here’s how it went:

DiCCS issued. Off we go on the opening mosey. Xerox happened to turn in right as we were taking off. YHC decided to change our launch direction and swung back to pick him up. No man left behind at ol’ #87…unless you’re later than he was today. Then, we’ll leave you for sure.


Mosey past laundromat and across Providence to sidewalk. Mosey to bank parking lot.

15SSH / Calf stretches (I feel your pain, Dana) / 12? CC Merkins (counting snafu on YHC’s part / Let’s go

Back to sidewalk for long mosey to Food Lion parking lot. At each light pole, 5 jump squats until end of sidewalk. Pax stayed pretty close together. A 10 second plank waiting on six and we crossed the street together and headed on down to Food Lion lot.

I decided to borrow a treat from nantan Thin Mint- the old Burpee Snake. 1 burpee at first island, jog across, 2 at that island, jog back down to next (think zig zag pattern). Island hop up until 10 burpees.

At burpee station 1, we all smelled the delicious aroma wafting from the exhausts at Bojangles. Man, those biscuits smelled good, but no time for a delicious, unhealthy treat. We have 54 more burpees to complete. Not Rudy. Apparently all the jump squats and initial burpee was just the trigger he needed to go see what was on the menu at Bojangles. Rudy bolted across the lot. YHC watched a good bit of NFL combine coverage. Rudy was in the 4.5 – 4.6 range in that 40 yard dash. Banjo tried to shout out an order request, but was only able to get out “You brought your wallet!!!?” before Rudy was in the door.

Burpee 55 completed, Rudy emerged with a napkin in hand wiping mouth and smelling of fried chicken and bo-berry biscuits. As DW put it, “I bet he ordered a #2.”

Collect all pax and head back up the sidewalk. All crossed street together and knocked out a quick little ab burn. 20 LBC / 10 pistol each leg / 20 Hammers

Back up sidewalk, 5 more jump squats at each light until we reached the long road. I don’t know what that road is called but everybody that’s attended Floater knows what and where I’m talking about.

At each light on the right, 5 merkins. There was consensus among the group that the 5 merkins weren’t the problem, it was dropping down and getting back up again…particularly as we wound up hitting 15 or so light poles.

Over for a classic Floater combo exercise. At first tree, do 10 Derkins. Run over bridge and do 10 dips at other tree. Run lap around and down to Providence and back to original tree. Do this 4 times. Complete and jog back to start. Finished.


I love Downtown Waxhaw as an AO. It is so diverse with so many different areas to explore. It’s #87 on paper, but #1 in your heart…and you know it, Zin. Today, I borrowed exercises from Thin Mint (Snake), Doc McStuffins (light pole jump squats), and floater OG Bottlecap (Derk and Dip laps). The 5 merkins per pole were my little idea to see how bad getting up and down for 15 sets would be over .5 mile straightaway. It was a nice test, but certainly a manageable ask. Only reason I tell you all that is to remind the pax that it is entirely acceptable to borrow/steal workout ideas to help build your weinke. If you hated it, it probably was a pretty good workout!

The Pax stayed close together today as a pack and today wasn’t necessarily an easy workout. It’s great to see the progress within the group and how fast some of you guys are now moving. Had we done that workout 6 months ago, we’d have lost half the crew. To each of you who are pushing yourselves to get better, keep it up. Your gains are showing…and they look good on you. Plus, we have banana hammock bathing suit season right around the corner. Now is the time for you to really pour it on and see how much you can transform your body.


Service opportunity through Waxhaw United Methodist Church. A few guys were able to serve last year. This year, the goal is for F3 to take an entire house. That’s just how WUC boys roll. Really excited to see what we’re able to accomplish as a band of brothers for such a worthy cause. See BC or Jingles for more details.

Thanks, Damascus, for taking us out.

Curb Your Enthusiasm

7 men splashed around at Asylum this morning. One Q attempted to recreate a rather unsettling scene from American History X…all by himself. Here’s how it went down:

DiCCS issued and off we go at 5:15. 20 seconds into Mosey, we see Frack and circle back to pick him up only to see him run back to his vehicle 20 seconds shortly thereafter. Back he came, we were all back together and met up near the dumpsters by the new Novant facility across from Hickory Tavern.

Warm up:

15 SSH/10 LSS/Jimmy Dugan/Quad Stretch/Go


Dumpster by Novant to loading dock behind Petsmart = .25 mile. We did a modified burpee mile. 12 burpees at start/.25 jog/12 burpees/.25 jog/12/.25/12/.25/2 at end. 50 burpees and a mile. Mosey over to the side of Hickory Tavern for some Roasted Thighs

Ski School

1 minute wall sit/50 pulse squats/25 jump squats x 2

Jog to Wesley Oaks…But before we did YHC tried to curb stomp himself. As it turns out, an aggressive start, a curb, and a big toe leads to quite the wipe out. Tested all manual functions- Good. Ego? Bruised. Let’s go. Got to Wesley Oaks, made a right, and then at first left we got some more work in.

Alternate street lamps. 10 merkins/10 dry docks to first stop sign. Approximately 40 of each exercise. Wanted to go another half mile down the street, but time was running out. We turned around at stop sign and headed back towards Hickory Tavern.

30 second wall-sit at the end and we were done.


Daddy Daughter Dance- See Fuse


Great job today, guys. 38 and raining was fun. The Site Qs at Asylum led by example, big time. If I told you Transporter was out front, would you be surprised? Crushed it. First F personified, man. Great job. Damascus hates burpees but refused to let them beat him during the Burpee Mile. He did so well I almost audibled a reward of partner carries into the weinke…almost. Thank you both for pushing yourselves and by extension me. Asylum demands a difficult workout. I hope today’s was up to the task. Thank you both for the chance to lead.

Good to see my old buddy and partner in crime Frack again. It’s been too long. We need to plan our next set of dumpster fires to light. I’ll bring the accelerant; you bring the Frack. Swimmers showed again…on a horrible day and really pushed. In retrospect, he probably felt right at home in all that water. Fuse Box really seemed to enjoy the running this morning. He definitely has an extra gear. Don’t let him fool you. Get that shoulder right soon. Posse put up his consistent effort and I believe was the first to help me off the asphalt after the self-inflicted curbing. That’s all I got. Thanks to Damascus for taking us out. Have a great week, gents.

How About a Staring Contest!?

11 pax locked horns with a burpee mile and then awkwardly locked eyes with one another with a workout filled with all kinds of special little treats. See below:

Warm up:

It was chilly so the DiCCS was a bit shorter than normal. Put it away, started the clock, and off we went.

Hot Lap/SSH/Hamstring Stretch/Jimmy Dugan/Merkins


Modified Burpee Mile: Pole to Pole on the path towards Transporter’s Banjo’s Office is exactly .25 miles. So…we did a burpee mile. 7 burpees up top/7 in middle/7 at end/7 middle/7 top/7 middle/7 bottom/1 back at the top. Recalculating and Zin got in some extra work by doing 7 again back at the top. Worked out okay as Recalc still owed his 51 burpees from last Friday. Air Drop owned this portion of the work out with a really strong push from the rest of the crew.

Over to the most forgotten alcove we used to use all the time for a new little thing I called “Ski School”. YHC has a ski trip coming up. Need those strong quads to handle the steeps of the Wasatch Range. So, we did a little isolated muscle group leg work. Half of pax on one wall and the other half opposite. Awkward eye contact required.

1 minute wall sit

It was during this wall sit a discussion broke out regarding when the last time someone defecated in their pants. Zin claimed a 9 year clean streak, Air Drop said his last “oops, I s#it my pants” moment came during one of his first training sessions in the military. When you gotta go, you gotta go. A shart is one thing, but a full on escape is a horse of a different color. You really push and keep going. And because of that admission and your pride surrounding it, Zinfandel and I are proud to make you an Honorary Site Q of Floater #87. Oh yeah, back to ski school. It went like this:

50 pulse squats

25 Bobby Hurley’s

50 pulse squats

1 minute wall sit

Jump Squat competition. Losers plank until contest concludes and winner avoids 25 additional pulse squats. Air Drop kept his pants clean and won this one as well.

Mosey to front of school. Posse knew what was coming as soon as I told Doughboy he’d like it. A little “Dock Webb”.

1 Dry Dock and 4 Bear Crawls. 2/8, 3/12, etc…up to 10/40. YHC needed a brief pause at 7. Zinfandel aka Running Bear aka Trash Panda Extraordinaire was at least 40 body lengths ahead of the rest of us growling “Let’s get this over with”. We did 7 and then 8. YHC was toast. Thankfully, a Foley van drove right down our path forcing us out of the way. Mini break over, finish up the 10/40. Jog back to COT. Mary.

Hammers/Muffin Crunchers (side sit ups)/Flutters/LBCs and done


Today was fun. YHC hopes the pax enjoyed the workout. It’s really cool to do something a little different and have everybody buy into it. Not sure of today’s mileage total, but I can’t imagine it was much north of 2. Regardless, I hope it was well worth the hour(s) of sleep you traded it for.

Chainsaw and Draper did an outstanding job. Posse pushed it like always. Jingles more than held his own on the Jump Squat challenge. Kudos to you man, those bells were jingling indeed. Speaking of that portion of the workout, Wedding Singer was my staring partner. I learned two things. One, he’s a wall sit master, and 2, he crushed me at the awkward eye contact/staring contest. If you think you can beat him, think again. Doughboy didn’t comment on the bear crawls. That was my way of paying you back for all yours!!! Recalc’s got that “More Mature” Man Strength. With each passing year, he gets faster and faster. Shout out to Zin for his personal transformation. You sir, are a testament to what a man can do if he puts his mind to it and leaves it all out there in the gloom. Rockwell had the line of the day. “Recalc, it’s like you were 49 for 2 years and 50 for 6 months.” We all kinda thought the same thing, Rockwell. Oh, and Air Drop…keep showing up man. Love having a rabbit out front like that. I’ll catch you next time!

Have a great day all.


Joe Davis March 9th- See Posse

Mark This Moment Daddy Daughter Dance March 1st- See Fuse

High Beams and High Fives

Commentary and Ghostwriting by Moneyball with Weinke details courtesy of QIC, Bottlecap.

13 men donned headlamps in the newest safety initiative at the 87th best AO in WUC, the Floater. Jokes were plentiful in trying to decide who would be the “Perma 6” and have to wear their light backwards. There are early candidates (YHC for one at the present), but we’ll let good ol’ #87 sort that all out for us! Off we went.


Brisk mosey to women’s club

SSH, Imperial Squawkers, Merkins

The Thang:

Jog to school with 10 Knee Ups at each pole. Upon arrival at school, partner up

Run opposite directions on track and meet up to do 10 “High Five Merkin” (think handslap only with hands higher and with headlamp beams right in your eyeballs). Do this 10, 8, 6, 4, and 2

Up to basketball court in teams of 3.

P1- Bunny Hop down and back on court. Per Recalc: “Like getting hit in the face with a salmon” P2- Supines P3- Box Jump/Step Overs. This x 4

Jog back towards #KJH. At light poles, 5 more Knee Slappers.

Gather mid-mountain on #KeithJongHill for an homage to #87

8 Bombjacks at mid-mountain/7 burpees at laundromat/8 Bombjacks at mid-mountain/6 burpees at laundromat/Follow this progression

Mosey back to COT as rain began to fall.


Somber PSA- We laughed a bit about the headlamps this morning, but the reason behind us “enforcing” the policy at Floater #87 is the furthest thing from a laughing matter. Please keep the family of FiA member “Digits” in your prayers this Christmas season. One can’t and doesn’t even want to imagine what that husband and kids are going through. Check Comz page on Slack to get information on how to best serve the family. Somber PSA over.

Floater #87 welcomed FNG Cat Nip to the ranks. The Nip attempted to nickname himself the “Tiger”. Didn’t work out as planned. Glad to have you with us.

This Friday at Cabelas Syphillis Celery Celebrex Cerberus it sounds as if the Briars and Crests have taken the Providence Downs Clown Car Challenge as an afront to their level of Clowning. Clothing for the Shampoo Crew is on the line. Not sure the actual nature of the challenge as we now know both Briars and Crests (with Deadwood) AND the Providence Downers like to play dress up. Regardless, we can’t wait to see those photos!

F3 “Come To The Table” is today at Charlotte Country Club. Ping Zin or Bottlecap for more details as a couple slots have opened up over the past couple days. Be on the look out for CenterFold (FNG from Dromedary). Goodfella put his contact info out yesterday evening.

Thank you, Bottlecap, for taking us out

Q-uit Hurting Yourself

21 men came out for a brisk tour of Wesley Chapel. We heard ferocious beasts barking, saw monster trucks driving, and witnessed Bread Bowl contemplating a game of chicken with an oncoming car. What a morning!? Oh, failed to mention- Q duty and YHC haven’t exactly been working out so well lately. Hopefully the warmer weather of January will signal a change in fortunes.


Zig Zag lap back to where we started

20 SSH

20 Mtn Climbers

Jimmy Dugan’s and Calf Stretches

20 IW

The Thang:

Mosey behind Hickory Tavern and partner up

P1: Run suicide behind the buildings to pre-determined markers

P2: Mike Tysons

Must complete 50 as a team. Caveat- Game is not over until “6” team completes 50. If you finish early, you keep going. Mosey to Petco Petsafe lot.

3 Man Teams – 75 burpees as team

P1: Burpees

P2 and P3: Run to opposite end and back

Same rules, “6” team must complete 75 burpees

It was at this point YHC had yet another Forest Gump moment. It felt like something jumped up and bit me…only in the calf and not in the get it.

Pax mosey while YHC drags bloody stump of a leg to neighborhood behind Target

Alternating cul-de-sac run

P1: Run to one end of cul-de-sac do 5 burpees and return

P2: Run to other cul-de-sac do 5 burpees and return

When pax meet, they exchange 10 Hand slap merkins. This done only twice due to my overwhelming guilt of watching pax run while YHC banged out squats and burpees. If Q won’t or can’t pax shouldn’t have to either!

Word of caution- neighborhood has some obvious shortcomings.

  1. Smaller than expected lots for Mineral Springs area
  2. Aggressively barking dogs that sounded huge but were out of sight. YHC thought for sure if one got loose, that was the end of the line!
  3. Union County’s King of Overcompensation rolled down the street in his iteration of Grave Digger or Big Foot. Light Bar on high beam, exhausts burbling. All he lacked was an American flag mounted in the bed. We all tried to figure out what he was overcompensating for…mostly like a small p…arking space

Mosey back to Circle Area. Pax curious about perceived early closing time. YHC can’t run any more, pax don’t either!

Circle Up

Plank, plank 6 inches, plank 6 inches with right foot high, plank 6 inches normal, plank 6 inches left foot high, plank 6 inches, recover

Jack Webb- 1:4 ratio of merkins to air presses. Made it to 10. Marge, “I had no idea air was that heavy”

American Hammer x 20

Flutters at varying speeds x 20



Posse shared more details regarding the 1st grader he and his family are hoping to support. Sounds like actual family was found in Matthews. He’s working on finding out how to best support the little guy during this incredibly difficult time. Posse promises to keep us posted once he knows more.

Sheriff Cathey’s wife passed away. Please lift them up in prayer.

It was at this point we circled for prayer. Rubbermaid thought it was time to do Name-O-Rama…again. Thankfully, another of our #respects stepped up to inform everyone that Rubbermaid hadn’t forgotten, it was just that his hearing aid batteries had frozen up. We laughed, prayed (Thank you BC for taking us out), high-fived, and all went home.


Great work by all who attended. First time YHC’s had the privilege of leading at the new Watchtower. Coincidentally, also the first time YHC’s had the privilege of hurting himself there, too!

Busy GroupMe morning already in the books- Learned post workout one of our pax overslept and left one of his brethren standing out by the mailbox waiting for the ride that never came. Also, Doughboy issued a serious plea YHC thought for sure was a joke. Apparently his truck broke down but the roads were too treacherous for AAA to come help. Thankfully his M sprung to action.


Oh, and Hooch is the first official nominee for a 2019 EFFEE award! #GroupMeFormPolice #BigLotsAndLawsonUnite #FormFriends




“I told myself this was a bad idea as soon as I woke up.” – Dancing Bear

Title says it all. I’m no sadist, but I do like making my Qs as difficult as is reasonably possible. Ignition has a rule- at least 4 miles. Oh, we got our 4 miles in alright.

Warm up:

.75 mile up school entry drive and back down long path to Transporter’s Office

SSH x 15

Jimmy Dugan, Calf Stretch (I didn’t do this well)

Merkins x 10 – Let’s get it started

The Thang:

Long path is exactly .25 from poles to poles. We did a Burpee Mile

Run up long path (.25 miles) do 12 burpees. Up and back 2x = 1 mile

Found BottleCap’s kryptonite – Diesel exhaust. Plan was to run bus lot hot laps with partners (thanks, Hollywood), but instead moseyed on over to the dual roundabouts

4 Laps at the Roundabouts that were part of the first AMRAP.

Top circle do 10 Dry Docks

Bottom circle do 10 Jump Squats

Mosey to High School parking lot

Burpee Snake (thanks, Thin Mint)

Island to island starting in near corner. 1 burpee at first island, run across for 2, back for 3, etc…until end of lot. Made it up to 10 burpees. Grand total for snake was 55. Upon quick East Tennessee math review, I realized 55 + 48 wasn’t exactly a round number. Quick- 2 more burpees. Shake n Bake seemed wrecked. He headed on home only to have another wreck along the way. Thankfully, it was a minor fender bender and he’s all good. At this point with all the incidents and injuries, he’s probably questioning moving to this side of the UC.

Mosey back towards long path. During this mosey, YHC felt both the calves go…again.

Quick audible to Foundation’s steps for some calf raises

10 straight/10 in/10 out

It was at this point our resident Lumberjack informed us he had a perma-sore at the base of his spine. Obviously our crew couldn’t let this slide. He attributed it to American Hammers and Flutters. Others in the group attributed it to “Axe Play”. Regardless, said Lumberjack took it upon himself to modify the 10s down to 5s for the second flight of steps. Nobody complained.

Mosey towards front of school. Middle School benches.

25  Dips in cadence

Wall sits

1 minute

20 LSS

Did this x2

Mosey back to COT to close it out with our friends from Flash.

4.11 miles, 105 burpees, Axe Play, and a pair Chundered calves for me later, we were done.


Outside the “Axe Play” discussion on the steps, YHC really enjoyed Dancing Bear’s dialogue with Shake n Bake at the half-way point of the Burpee Mile. “I knew I shouldn’t have come out here. I told myself this was a bad idea as soon as I woke up.” You pushed it man. Really good work. Dasher killed it and also saved enough energy to handle form policing duties during the burpee snake. In fairness, my form went to pot around the 7th island. Half Back and BC out front…surprise, surprise. Feels like Easy Button just settles into a groove mid-pack and grinds it out. We tend to run together most Qs. You’re a good pacer- glad to have you. Shake was an Ignition first timer. I hope he won’t attribute the fender bender to me. The sore legs and body, yes.

Thanks to Hollywood and Half Back for letting me lead Ignition this morning. Last time I led, we ran too much. This time, I think we burpeed a bit too much. I’ll get it right next time.

And Thanks to Gatorcub for taking us out.


Effies – This Friday at 8pm at Briarcrest Clubhouse. Be early, BYOB, and BY Sense of Humor

Shampoocrew – See Dancing Bear

Huggy Bear- Keep him in your prayers. Brain surgery 12/11 to remove tumors that triggered seizure over Thanksgiving holiday

Jingle Jangle Beer Exchange – See Zinfandel for more details