In a hurry to get out of town. Pax list:
Fuse Box, Finch, Nails, Trojan, Legalized, Recalculating, Dough Boy, Das Boot, Gerber, Deadwood, Easy Button, DAncing Bear, Zinfandel, Foley, Dasher, Chainsaw, Overdraft, Halfback, Stubhub, Shake n Bake, Hooch, Moneyball
Medium speed lap. 15 SSH, 4 merky merks (I just made that up, not a real name), Dugans, Calves, Old Mans
Merkin Mile: 12 at mid-point, 12 at end, 12 at mid-point, 12 at top. 96 total
Mosey to stairs: 150 squats. Run up the steps, touch school 25 squats and return. Complete enough laps to equal 150 squats. 6 laps
Front of school for a modified Cooper. Partner up. Running opposite directions- 10 burpees individually, 9 individually, audible to shared work on 8. On your own on odds and shared on evens. We made it to 6.
5 minutes left. Back to circle for a little mary.
LBC, American Hammer, Pistol, Pistol, Q Jack, Done.
Moleskin: Heading out of town to look at houses. Backblast had to occur before we left. Floater rules convey to other sites when Floater site Qs lead.
Announcements: Shampoo Crew
Prayer: Dancing Bear
Today I accepted a position with my company that is moving my family out of state. We’ve been here 6 years. I told Bottlecap this was the “most bittersweet decision I’ve ever had to make”. I had no idea how to tell the group so I figured as a founding father of the Playhouse and the Floater, it only made sense to put it out there where I feel most comfortable…on GroupMe and in a backblast.
This message had to come out this way. It’s cathartic to me. It allows me to pour out my soul…even if only in starts and fits. Most likely the vast majority of you didn’t know this, but me and a band of misfit toys hijacked a serious comms channel on GroupMe and turned it into the Playhouse. This is my digital home. This is where F3 started for me. I named the place! So, this is what I had to say. I’m not gone and won’t be for a few more months, but it is the beginning of the next chapter in my life. Before that all formally begins, I had to get this all off my chest. Here goes:
Thank you F3. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for being my outlet. Thank you for rescuing me from male loneliness. Thank you for introducing me to friends…no, brothers. Thank you for allowing me to reach others. Thank you for allowing me to offend those who needed offending. Thank you for helping me learn to say “I’m sorry” when I actually did cross the line. Thank you for the Playhouse and the #SlackSux fiasco, and for all the other juvenile antics I’ve had a hand in. Thank you for Floater and the #streak. Thank you for cops catching us hanging ridiculous signs of Recalculating down by Waxhaw’s playground. Thank you for athletic fit shirts and the jokes that go with it. Thank you for bloody nipples. Thank you for man touch Monday’s. Thank you for Frack and Doc and Transporter and Dasher and Turtle and Shampoodle and Posse. Thank you for Lou Nali and Ray Noonan and Marc Lehane and Keith Balaniz and Jeff Thoms. Thank you for Phillip and Ben. Thank you for my circle. Thank you for OUR circle.
Thank you F3. Thank you for being available where I’ll need you next. Thank you for reaching your tentacles into Northeast Tennessee. This is not the end, only a new beginning. Luckily for me, I still have another 60 or so days to post on GroupMe before my rights are revoked by our resident police force. Until that day, I plan to defend my Playhouse Triple Crown. It’s what any respectable E333ie Winner would do. God bless you guys.
Derek (or Moneyball)
12 men enjoyed a double helping of fun at Flash this morning. Here’s how it went down:
First helping belonged to Deadwood. He had some new moves lined up for everybody. There was a palpable buzz filling the lot. Would these be the best thing since Sushi Rolls or would they be the next bad idea to hit our group. You decide.
2 hot laps around the parking lot and circle up
SSH/IM/Merkins/Plank Jacks x10 then complimentary calf stretch (thanks DW!)
Mosey towards Transporter’s Office for first new move, the “Duck and Weave.”
Duck and Weave- Duck walk in a line. Last guy does 2 merkins and runs to the front. An Indian Run with dudes walking like ducks. It was not pleasant.
Jog to Transporter’s Office, second new move “Lt. Dangers”
Lt Dan with Jump lunges in place of walking lunges. Also, not pleasant.
3rd new move, “Donkey Kickoffs”
Donkey Kickoff- 20 Donkey Kicks. On completion of 20th kick, keep feet on wall and hold it for matching number of seconds (20 seconds). Then 19, then 18, then we skipped to 15, then 10 then done! Also, really not pleasant.
4th and final new treat, the “Captain Therkin”. 1 WW2 Situp/4 American Hammers. 2/8, 3/12, etc…all the way to 10 and 40. Mosey back up the trail of tears towards parking lot. Alarm on Deadwood’s watch sounded. That could only mean one thing…Round 2!
Mid-jog, YHC took over. Time for a Dock Webb. 1 Dry Dock and 4 Bear Crawls. 1/4, 2/8, 3/12 all the way up to 10/40. Not pleasant, particularly after the Donkey Kickoffs. Mosey to front of the school. Poor instructions (yet again) by YHC for the next move, the standard Jack Webb with a hot lot lap. YHC got cute, had pax partner up and instructed them to alternate Webb exercises until completion. Pax mistook that to mean they only had to have a Webb. My bad fellas. Didn’t mean to keep that other half from you. Luckily my partner understood my gibberish. We completed the full Webb and banged out our hot lap.
Mosey behind the school to where picnic tables are. Partner 1 runs to cut out on old AMRAP course, Partner 2 does Derkins.
200 150 Derkins as a team. This was the last straw for the ol’ shoulders. Mosey back to the front of the school for a pallet cleanser, 10 for 1’s x 3.
10 burpees in 1 minute for 3 minutes. Ignition rolled up in a “Jailbreak” as we wrapped up our 3rd minute. Finished.
Deadwood and YHC enjoyed scheming on this co-Q. I would strongly encourage finding a partner and sharing a workout. Whether you’re a wet behind the ears newbie who has never led, or you’re like my partner who Q’s every day that ends in a “Y”, then by all means, do it.
Bottlecap begging for Clyent Dinner Q. We’re told backblasts are not requirements and may even be frowned upon. That was all I heard.
Tags: Bottlecap, Deadwood, Dancing Bear, Chainsaw, Rockwell, Damascus, Schedule C, Toto, Loafer, Fuse Box, Dasher, Hollywood, Trojan, The Knish, Moneyball
15 pax sampled fare from afar before we got down to business. Mistakes were made this morning, mistakes were made. Here’s how it went down:
DiCCS issued. YHC reinforced my status as “not a professional”. First mistake was me announcing 4 new moves I’d borrowed from Johnson City F3 that YHC was sure would deliver results for the pax and complaints/cheats from Briarcrest. Second mistake was saying we weren’t going to be on the streets. Off we went. Within 15 seconds Dasher informed me the road we were on was in fact, a street. I told him it wasn’t a real street. He bought it.
Mosey down #KeithJongHill strategically placing 4 cones on the path down the steepest bits. Deadwood started guessing what YHC had in mind, but grew concerned with the cone count. “I don’t like where this is headed” and “How many of those things do you have?”, were his two most memorable comments. Complete the mosey down #KJH past the vet clinic to cross Providence (mistake #3). Mosey across the street to that building with the nice parking lot. No idea what that place is or what they do, but they have nice black top.
Mistake #4 was skipping SSHs in favor of Motivators. A “Motivator” is supposed to be something like a deconstructed 4 part jumping jack counting down from a number. I picked 7 IC. It goes full SSH (7IC), half arm SSH (7IC), No arm SSH (7IC), Hops (7IC). Mistake #5 – YHC screwed up Motivators. It was good as the pax weren’t as motivated to try the Motivator as I’d hoped. Audibled out of that into Mistakes #6,#7, and #8.
Johnson City called them Picking Cherries. Basically IC Moroccan Night Clubs with palms up (#6) and then palms down (#7). 25IC each. This did not go well. BC went full Frack on me. In fairness, the explanation was null. Also in fairness, it was possibly the most worthless exercise move this side of the Bear Crawl. Mistake #8 was what they referred to as the “Shoulder Pretzel”. Arms extended, bend elbows and touch shoulders and then touch traps. 25IC. I banged this after 5. Mistake #9 Merkins on my count. Meant to stop at 15, but accidentally stopped at 16. Hamstring stretches for Lou. Had to get back in his good graces after the earlier debacles! Enough, mosey to bank lot for a little partner work. 25 Dry Docks and we were off.
Partner up. Mistake #10. We had odd number of Pax. Partners run opposite directions and hand slap merkins. Sets of 5/4/3/2/1. Grab some wall with shoulder presses. Partner wall sits and presses while other partner runs lap. At each corner Dry Docks. 3 laps per partner. Sets of 5/3/1.
Mosey back up Providence towards Waxhaw. Mistake #11 cross Providence in a disjointed, not-all-together manner. Jog to bottom of #KJH. Once we made it to the designated starting place we had to wait on some pax. Not sure if one was peeing and the other was holding it, or if one was peeing and the other had a light on it or exactly what was going on up there. Anyway, finally, something challenging-ish.
Deck of cards: Hearts=Hand release Merkins / Diamonds=Diamond Merkins/ Clubs=Carolina Dry Docks/ Spades=Squats
Mistake #12, selecting a workout with multiple outcomes/instructions. Naturally, Damascus had questions about how this portion worked. At each cone, do the exercise. 4 cones and then finish climb to laundromat for burpees. 5 burpees first time, 4,3,2,1 and then run back to the bottom
Card 1: 10 Hand Release to the top then 5 burpees / Mistake #13 lost cards momentarily, but thankfully found by Damascus. Card 2: 10 Dry Docks, burpees / Card 3: 11 Squats / Card 4: 10 Dry Docks / Card 5: 7 Hand Release
I think that’s how that bit shook out. Mercifully made it back to COT.
Good work by everybody. Thanks for the patience with the #MistakeFest this morning. John Maxwell said, “Fail early (check), fail often (check), but always fail forward. All you newbs out there…don’t let fear of failure keep you from leading a workout. The screw ups are worth the laughs, I promise! Oh, but when you do screw up, be sure to come up with something brutal to make up for it/them and get even with the pax who complain!
Damascus debated with himself about what the upcoming workout schedule was. Convergences are going on all over the place. Check with him…or don’t
Congrats to Trojan landing the new gig. We’re glad Deadwood convinced himself he convinced you to come. We’re glad you decided to come that first time and have continued ever since. Good on you, man. We’re lucky to have guys like you in our group. Thanks for speaking up. Next step…VQ!!!!
Bottlecap took us out.
18 men joined YHC on a substi-Q full of ups and downs. Vince Lombardi said, “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” Also, Chumbawamba said, “I get knocked down, I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down.” The question of the day and the idea behind today’s weinke was this: Will you get back up? Today was more of a mental test than a physical one. Here’s how it went down:
Pax waited expectantly for Jingles to fly into the lot right at 5:30. But, as 5:30 came and went, it was clear things needed to commence with or without him. With the exception of the Site Q (yes Rubbermaid, DW is a Site Q at Watchtower) and a couple other accomplices, nobody knew YHC volunteered to take the Q so Deadwood wouldn’t. Off we go!
Jog to far corner of Target parking lot
Plank/6”/Plank/6”/Plank/6” – all held a beat too long for Posse’s liking. “I could have done this in my bed.” When asked if he was laying down, his reply: “Yep”. Well played, Posse! Enough of that, let’s do this.
Head into the neighborhood behind Target (Wesley Oaks?) and run to first stop sign. Will you get back up?
25 stops on the 1 mile straightaway comprised of light poles and end points.
9 points until first break x 5 merkins = 45 merkins
16 points until end of street x 5 jump squats = 80 jump squats
16 points until stop sign x 5 merkins = 80 merkins
9 points until starting line x 5 jump squats = 45 jump squats
2 miles, 125 merkins, 125 jump squats. Gazelles got in another .5 mile doubling back and probably around another 25 or so of both exercises.
Re-group and head back to Brooklyn Pizza for Dock Webb.
1 Dry Dock and 4 Bear Crawls- all the way up to 10 Docks and 40 Crawls.
YHC knew this part would be the worst part. We were all tired (both physically and mentally). Who would push through it, dig deep and finish? Admittedly, YHC screwed this up. We should have done it in cadence in order to hold pax accountable. Sorry about that Zin and One Star. You both definitely got to 10 and 40. Great work!
20 American Hammers, 10 Pistol LBCs both leg, jog to circle. Done.
All told everybody got at least 2.5 miles in with the front of the pack pulling down anywhere from 3 to 3.25. Awesome work, fellas.
Dash for Down – See Rubbermaid for details
Lattini 5 miler- See Posse for details.
Here’s the obligatory, “It’s a privilege to lead…” line. It really is. You guys make me better, so thank you. Here’s a little nugget for you…or maybe it’s a 6 pack of nuggets. Either way, here goes:
We all have more in us than we think. Whether in life or a workout, the “more” is in there. We just have to have the courage, resolve, and stubbornness to keep looking for it until we find it. Challenge for today (God knows I need it) is this: Get Back Up! When life lands a haymaker, choose today to Get Back Up! When you’re tired and weary and weak, Get Back Up! It’s in you and it’s worth seeking out. It all starts with a choice. So choose today to Get Back Up! And if you need a quick confidence boost remember this- From 5:30 until 6:15 you chose to get up at least 50 times. See!? It wasn’t that difficult and it was and is definitely worth it. Have a great day, guys.
YHC promised a follow up to Zinfandel’s “Transient Anus” Jellyfish GroupMe post from Tuesday. That little science nugget confirmed exactly how the weinke would unfold at ol’ #87. Lots of quick movements in lots of different places…some more than others…some different than others. Here’s how it went:
DiCCS issued. Off we go on the opening mosey. Xerox happened to turn in right as we were taking off. YHC decided to change our launch direction and swung back to pick him up. No man left behind at ol’ #87…unless you’re later than he was today. Then, we’ll leave you for sure.
Mosey past laundromat and across Providence to sidewalk. Mosey to bank parking lot.
15SSH / Calf stretches (I feel your pain, Dana) / 12? CC Merkins (counting snafu on YHC’s part / Let’s go
Back to sidewalk for long mosey to Food Lion parking lot. At each light pole, 5 jump squats until end of sidewalk. Pax stayed pretty close together. A 10 second plank waiting on six and we crossed the street together and headed on down to Food Lion lot.
I decided to borrow a treat from nantan Thin Mint- the old Burpee Snake. 1 burpee at first island, jog across, 2 at that island, jog back down to next (think zig zag pattern). Island hop up until 10 burpees.
At burpee station 1, we all smelled the delicious aroma wafting from the exhausts at Bojangles. Man, those biscuits smelled good, but no time for a delicious, unhealthy treat. We have 54 more burpees to complete. Not Rudy. Apparently all the jump squats and initial burpee was just the trigger he needed to go see what was on the menu at Bojangles. Rudy bolted across the lot. YHC watched a good bit of NFL combine coverage. Rudy was in the 4.5 – 4.6 range in that 40 yard dash. Banjo tried to shout out an order request, but was only able to get out “You brought your wallet!!!?” before Rudy was in the door.
Burpee 55 completed, Rudy emerged with a napkin in hand wiping mouth and smelling of fried chicken and bo-berry biscuits. As DW put it, “I bet he ordered a #2.”
Collect all pax and head back up the sidewalk. All crossed street together and knocked out a quick little ab burn. 20 LBC / 10 pistol each leg / 20 Hammers
Back up sidewalk, 5 more jump squats at each light until we reached the long road. I don’t know what that road is called but everybody that’s attended Floater knows what and where I’m talking about.
At each light on the right, 5 merkins. There was consensus among the group that the 5 merkins weren’t the problem, it was dropping down and getting back up again…particularly as we wound up hitting 15 or so light poles.
Over for a classic Floater combo exercise. At first tree, do 10 Derkins. Run over bridge and do 10 dips at other tree. Run lap around and down to Providence and back to original tree. Do this 4 times. Complete and jog back to start. Finished.
I love Downtown Waxhaw as an AO. It is so diverse with so many different areas to explore. It’s #87 on paper, but #1 in your heart…and you know it, Zin. Today, I borrowed exercises from Thin Mint (Snake), Doc McStuffins (light pole jump squats), and floater OG Bottlecap (Derk and Dip laps). The 5 merkins per pole were my little idea to see how bad getting up and down for 15 sets would be over .5 mile straightaway. It was a nice test, but certainly a manageable ask. Only reason I tell you all that is to remind the pax that it is entirely acceptable to borrow/steal workout ideas to help build your weinke. If you hated it, it probably was a pretty good workout!
The Pax stayed close together today as a pack and today wasn’t necessarily an easy workout. It’s great to see the progress within the group and how fast some of you guys are now moving. Had we done that workout 6 months ago, we’d have lost half the crew. To each of you who are pushing yourselves to get better, keep it up. Your gains are showing…and they look good on you. Plus, we have
banana hammock bathing suit season right around the corner. Now is the time for you to really pour it on and see how much you can transform your body.
Service opportunity through Waxhaw United Methodist Church. A few guys were able to serve last year. This year, the goal is for F3 to take an entire house. That’s just how WUC boys roll. Really excited to see what we’re able to accomplish as a band of brothers for such a worthy cause. See BC or Jingles for more details.
Thanks, Damascus, for taking us out.