Tags: Bottlecap, Deadwood, Dancing Bear, Chainsaw, Rockwell, Damascus, Schedule C, Toto, Loafer, Fuse Box, Dasher, Hollywood, Trojan, The Knish, Moneyball
15 pax sampled fare from afar before we got down to business. Mistakes were made this morning, mistakes were made. Here’s how it went down:
DiCCS issued. YHC reinforced my status as “not a professional”. First mistake was me announcing 4 new moves I’d borrowed from Johnson City F3 that YHC was sure would deliver results for the pax and complaints/cheats from Briarcrest. Second mistake was saying we weren’t going to be on the streets. Off we went. Within 15 seconds Dasher informed me the road we were on was in fact, a street. I told him it wasn’t a real street. He bought it.
Mosey down #KeithJongHill strategically placing 4 cones on the path down the steepest bits. Deadwood started guessing what YHC had in mind, but grew concerned with the cone count. “I don’t like where this is headed” and “How many of those things do you have?”, were his two most memorable comments. Complete the mosey down #KJH past the vet clinic to cross Providence (mistake #3). Mosey across the street to that building with the nice parking lot. No idea what that place is or what they do, but they have nice black top.
Mistake #4 was skipping SSHs in favor of Motivators. A “Motivator” is supposed to be something like a deconstructed 4 part jumping jack counting down from a number. I picked 7 IC. It goes full SSH (7IC), half arm SSH (7IC), No arm SSH (7IC), Hops (7IC). Mistake #5 – YHC screwed up Motivators. It was good as the pax weren’t as motivated to try the Motivator as I’d hoped. Audibled out of that into Mistakes #6,#7, and #8.
Johnson City called them Picking Cherries. Basically IC Moroccan Night Clubs with palms up (#6) and then palms down (#7). 25IC each. This did not go well. BC went full Frack on me. In fairness, the explanation was null. Also in fairness, it was possibly the most worthless exercise move this side of the Bear Crawl. Mistake #8 was what they referred to as the “Shoulder Pretzel”. Arms extended, bend elbows and touch shoulders and then touch traps. 25IC. I banged this after 5. Mistake #9 Merkins on my count. Meant to stop at 15, but accidentally stopped at 16. Hamstring stretches for Lou. Had to get back in his good graces after the earlier debacles! Enough, mosey to bank lot for a little partner work. 25 Dry Docks and we were off.
Partner up. Mistake #10. We had odd number of Pax. Partners run opposite directions and hand slap merkins. Sets of 5/4/3/2/1. Grab some wall with shoulder presses. Partner wall sits and presses while other partner runs lap. At each corner Dry Docks. 3 laps per partner. Sets of 5/3/1.
Mosey back up Providence towards Waxhaw. Mistake #11 cross Providence in a disjointed, not-all-together manner. Jog to bottom of #KJH. Once we made it to the designated starting place we had to wait on some pax. Not sure if one was peeing and the other was holding it, or if one was peeing and the other had a light on it or exactly what was going on up there. Anyway, finally, something challenging-ish.
Deck of cards: Hearts=Hand release Merkins / Diamonds=Diamond Merkins/ Clubs=Carolina Dry Docks/ Spades=Squats
Mistake #12, selecting a workout with multiple outcomes/instructions. Naturally, Damascus had questions about how this portion worked. At each cone, do the exercise. 4 cones and then finish climb to laundromat for burpees. 5 burpees first time, 4,3,2,1 and then run back to the bottom
Card 1: 10 Hand Release to the top then 5 burpees / Mistake #13 lost cards momentarily, but thankfully found by Damascus. Card 2: 10 Dry Docks, burpees / Card 3: 11 Squats / Card 4: 10 Dry Docks / Card 5: 7 Hand Release
I think that’s how that bit shook out. Mercifully made it back to COT.
Good work by everybody. Thanks for the patience with the #MistakeFest this morning. John Maxwell said, “Fail early (check), fail often (check), but always fail forward. All you newbs out there…don’t let fear of failure keep you from leading a workout. The screw ups are worth the laughs, I promise! Oh, but when you do screw up, be sure to come up with something brutal to make up for it/them and get even with the pax who complain!
Damascus debated with himself about what the upcoming workout schedule was. Convergences are going on all over the place. Check with him…or don’t
Congrats to Trojan landing the new gig. We’re glad Deadwood convinced himself he convinced you to come. We’re glad you decided to come that first time and have continued ever since. Good on you, man. We’re lucky to have guys like you in our group. Thanks for speaking up. Next step…VQ!!!!
Bottlecap took us out.
18 men joined YHC on a substi-Q full of ups and downs. Vince Lombardi said, “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” Also, Chumbawamba said, “I get knocked down, I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down.” The question of the day and the idea behind today’s weinke was this: Will you get back up? Today was more of a mental test than a physical one. Here’s how it went down:
Pax waited expectantly for Jingles to fly into the lot right at 5:30. But, as 5:30 came and went, it was clear things needed to commence with or without him. With the exception of the Site Q (yes Rubbermaid, DW is a Site Q at Watchtower) and a couple other accomplices, nobody knew YHC volunteered to take the Q so Deadwood wouldn’t. Off we go!
Jog to far corner of Target parking lot
Plank/6”/Plank/6”/Plank/6” – all held a beat too long for Posse’s liking. “I could have done this in my bed.” When asked if he was laying down, his reply: “Yep”. Well played, Posse! Enough of that, let’s do this.
Head into the neighborhood behind Target (Wesley Oaks?) and run to first stop sign. Will you get back up?
25 stops on the 1 mile straightaway comprised of light poles and end points.
9 points until first break x 5 merkins = 45 merkins
16 points until end of street x 5 jump squats = 80 jump squats
16 points until stop sign x 5 merkins = 80 merkins
9 points until starting line x 5 jump squats = 45 jump squats
2 miles, 125 merkins, 125 jump squats. Gazelles got in another .5 mile doubling back and probably around another 25 or so of both exercises.
Re-group and head back to Brooklyn Pizza for Dock Webb.
1 Dry Dock and 4 Bear Crawls- all the way up to 10 Docks and 40 Crawls.
YHC knew this part would be the worst part. We were all tired (both physically and mentally). Who would push through it, dig deep and finish? Admittedly, YHC screwed this up. We should have done it in cadence in order to hold pax accountable. Sorry about that Zin and One Star. You both definitely got to 10 and 40. Great work!
20 American Hammers, 10 Pistol LBCs both leg, jog to circle. Done.
All told everybody got at least 2.5 miles in with the front of the pack pulling down anywhere from 3 to 3.25. Awesome work, fellas.
Dash for Down – See Rubbermaid for details
Lattini 5 miler- See Posse for details.
Here’s the obligatory, “It’s a privilege to lead…” line. It really is. You guys make me better, so thank you. Here’s a little nugget for you…or maybe it’s a 6 pack of nuggets. Either way, here goes:
We all have more in us than we think. Whether in life or a workout, the “more” is in there. We just have to have the courage, resolve, and stubbornness to keep looking for it until we find it. Challenge for today (God knows I need it) is this: Get Back Up! When life lands a haymaker, choose today to Get Back Up! When you’re tired and weary and weak, Get Back Up! It’s in you and it’s worth seeking out. It all starts with a choice. So choose today to Get Back Up! And if you need a quick confidence boost remember this- From 5:30 until 6:15 you chose to get up at least 50 times. See!? It wasn’t that difficult and it was and is definitely worth it. Have a great day, guys.
YHC promised a follow up to Zinfandel’s “Transient Anus” Jellyfish GroupMe post from Tuesday. That little science nugget confirmed exactly how the weinke would unfold at ol’ #87. Lots of quick movements in lots of different places…some more than others…some different than others. Here’s how it went:
DiCCS issued. Off we go on the opening mosey. Xerox happened to turn in right as we were taking off. YHC decided to change our launch direction and swung back to pick him up. No man left behind at ol’ #87…unless you’re later than he was today. Then, we’ll leave you for sure.
Mosey past laundromat and across Providence to sidewalk. Mosey to bank parking lot.
15SSH / Calf stretches (I feel your pain, Dana) / 12? CC Merkins (counting snafu on YHC’s part / Let’s go
Back to sidewalk for long mosey to Food Lion parking lot. At each light pole, 5 jump squats until end of sidewalk. Pax stayed pretty close together. A 10 second plank waiting on six and we crossed the street together and headed on down to Food Lion lot.
I decided to borrow a treat from nantan Thin Mint- the old Burpee Snake. 1 burpee at first island, jog across, 2 at that island, jog back down to next (think zig zag pattern). Island hop up until 10 burpees.
At burpee station 1, we all smelled the delicious aroma wafting from the exhausts at Bojangles. Man, those biscuits smelled good, but no time for a delicious, unhealthy treat. We have 54 more burpees to complete. Not Rudy. Apparently all the jump squats and initial burpee was just the trigger he needed to go see what was on the menu at Bojangles. Rudy bolted across the lot. YHC watched a good bit of NFL combine coverage. Rudy was in the 4.5 – 4.6 range in that 40 yard dash. Banjo tried to shout out an order request, but was only able to get out “You brought your wallet!!!?” before Rudy was in the door.
Burpee 55 completed, Rudy emerged with a napkin in hand wiping mouth and smelling of fried chicken and bo-berry biscuits. As DW put it, “I bet he ordered a #2.”
Collect all pax and head back up the sidewalk. All crossed street together and knocked out a quick little ab burn. 20 LBC / 10 pistol each leg / 20 Hammers
Back up sidewalk, 5 more jump squats at each light until we reached the long road. I don’t know what that road is called but everybody that’s attended Floater knows what and where I’m talking about.
At each light on the right, 5 merkins. There was consensus among the group that the 5 merkins weren’t the problem, it was dropping down and getting back up again…particularly as we wound up hitting 15 or so light poles.
Over for a classic Floater combo exercise. At first tree, do 10 Derkins. Run over bridge and do 10 dips at other tree. Run lap around and down to Providence and back to original tree. Do this 4 times. Complete and jog back to start. Finished.
I love Downtown Waxhaw as an AO. It is so diverse with so many different areas to explore. It’s #87 on paper, but #1 in your heart…and you know it, Zin. Today, I borrowed exercises from Thin Mint (Snake), Doc McStuffins (light pole jump squats), and floater OG Bottlecap (Derk and Dip laps). The 5 merkins per pole were my little idea to see how bad getting up and down for 15 sets would be over .5 mile straightaway. It was a nice test, but certainly a manageable ask. Only reason I tell you all that is to remind the pax that it is entirely acceptable to borrow/steal workout ideas to help build your weinke. If you hated it, it probably was a pretty good workout!
The Pax stayed close together today as a pack and today wasn’t necessarily an easy workout. It’s great to see the progress within the group and how fast some of you guys are now moving. Had we done that workout 6 months ago, we’d have lost half the crew. To each of you who are pushing yourselves to get better, keep it up. Your gains are showing…and they look good on you. Plus, we have
banana hammock bathing suit season right around the corner. Now is the time for you to really pour it on and see how much you can transform your body.
Service opportunity through Waxhaw United Methodist Church. A few guys were able to serve last year. This year, the goal is for F3 to take an entire house. That’s just how WUC boys roll. Really excited to see what we’re able to accomplish as a band of brothers for such a worthy cause. See BC or Jingles for more details.
Thanks, Damascus, for taking us out.
7 men splashed around at Asylum this morning. One Q attempted to recreate a rather unsettling scene from American History X…all by himself. Here’s how it went down:
DiCCS issued and off we go at 5:15. 20 seconds into Mosey, we see Frack and circle back to pick him up only to see him run back to his vehicle 20 seconds shortly thereafter. Back he came, we were all back together and met up near the dumpsters by the new Novant facility across from Hickory Tavern.
15 SSH/10 LSS/Jimmy Dugan/Quad Stretch/Go
Dumpster by Novant to loading dock behind Petsmart = .25 mile. We did a modified burpee mile. 12 burpees at start/.25 jog/12 burpees/.25 jog/12/.25/12/.25/2 at end. 50 burpees and a mile. Mosey over to the side of Hickory Tavern for some Roasted Thighs
1 minute wall sit/50 pulse squats/25 jump squats x 2
Jog to Wesley Oaks…But before we did YHC tried to curb stomp himself. As it turns out, an aggressive start, a curb, and a big toe leads to quite the wipe out. Tested all manual functions- Good. Ego? Bruised. Let’s go. Got to Wesley Oaks, made a right, and then at first left we got some more work in.
Alternate street lamps. 10 merkins/10 dry docks to first stop sign. Approximately 40 of each exercise. Wanted to go another half mile down the street, but time was running out. We turned around at stop sign and headed back towards Hickory Tavern.
30 second wall-sit at the end and we were done.
Daddy Daughter Dance- See Fuse
Great job today, guys. 38 and raining was fun. The Site Qs at Asylum led by example, big time. If I told you Transporter was out front, would you be surprised? Crushed it. First F personified, man. Great job. Damascus hates burpees but refused to let them beat him during the Burpee Mile. He did so well I almost audibled a reward of partner carries into the weinke…almost. Thank you both for pushing yourselves and by extension me. Asylum demands a difficult workout. I hope today’s was up to the task. Thank you both for the chance to lead.
Good to see my old buddy and partner in crime Frack again. It’s been too long. We need to plan our next set of dumpster fires to light. I’ll bring the accelerant; you bring the Frack. Swimmers showed again…on a horrible day and really pushed. In retrospect, he probably felt right at home in all that water. Fuse Box really seemed to enjoy the running this morning. He definitely has an extra gear. Don’t let him fool you. Get that shoulder right soon. Posse put up his consistent effort and I believe was the first to help me off the asphalt after the self-inflicted curbing. That’s all I got. Thanks to Damascus for taking us out. Have a great week, gents.
11 pax locked horns with a burpee mile and then awkwardly locked eyes with one another with a workout filled with all kinds of special little treats. See below:
It was chilly so the DiCCS was a bit shorter than normal. Put it away, started the clock, and off we went.
Hot Lap/SSH/Hamstring Stretch/Jimmy Dugan/Merkins
Modified Burpee Mile: Pole to Pole on the path towards
Transporter’s Banjo’s Office is exactly .25 miles. So…we did a burpee mile. 7 burpees up top/7 in middle/7 at end/7 middle/7 top/7 middle/7 bottom/1 back at the top. Recalculating and Zin got in some extra work by doing 7 again back at the top. Worked out okay as Recalc still owed his 51 burpees from last Friday. Air Drop owned this portion of the work out with a really strong push from the rest of the crew.
Over to the most forgotten alcove we used to use all the time for a new little thing I called “Ski School”. YHC has a ski trip coming up. Need those strong quads to handle the steeps of the Wasatch Range. So, we did a little isolated muscle group leg work. Half of pax on one wall and the other half opposite. Awkward eye contact required.
1 minute wall sit
It was during this wall sit a discussion broke out regarding when the last time someone defecated in their pants. Zin claimed a 9 year clean streak, Air Drop said his last “oops, I s#it my pants” moment came during one of his first training sessions in the military. When you gotta go, you gotta go. A shart is one thing, but a full on escape is a horse of a different color. You really push and keep going. And because of that admission and your pride surrounding it, Zinfandel and I are proud to make you an Honorary Site Q of Floater #87. Oh yeah, back to ski school. It went like this:
50 pulse squats
25 Bobby Hurley’s
50 pulse squats
1 minute wall sit
Jump Squat competition. Losers plank until contest concludes and winner avoids 25 additional pulse squats. Air Drop kept his pants clean and won this one as well.
Mosey to front of school. Posse knew what was coming as soon as I told Doughboy he’d like it. A little “Dock Webb”.
1 Dry Dock and 4 Bear Crawls. 2/8, 3/12, etc…up to 10/40. YHC needed a brief pause at 7. Zinfandel aka Running Bear aka Trash Panda Extraordinaire was at least 40 body lengths ahead of the rest of us growling “Let’s get this over with”. We did 7 and then 8. YHC was toast. Thankfully, a Foley van drove right down our path forcing us out of the way. Mini break over, finish up the 10/40. Jog back to COT. Mary.
Hammers/Muffin Crunchers (side sit ups)/Flutters/LBCs and done
Today was fun. YHC hopes the pax enjoyed the workout. It’s really cool to do something a little different and have everybody buy into it. Not sure of today’s mileage total, but I can’t imagine it was much north of 2. Regardless, I hope it was well worth the hour(s) of sleep you traded it for.
Chainsaw and Draper did an outstanding job. Posse pushed it like always. Jingles more than held his own on the Jump Squat challenge. Kudos to you man, those bells were jingling indeed. Speaking of that portion of the workout, Wedding Singer was my staring partner. I learned two things. One, he’s a wall sit master, and 2, he crushed me at the awkward eye contact/staring contest. If you think you can beat him, think again. Doughboy didn’t comment on the bear crawls. That was my way of paying you back for all yours!!! Recalc’s got that “More Mature” Man Strength. With each passing year, he gets faster and faster. Shout out to Zin for his personal transformation. You sir, are a testament to what a man can do if he puts his mind to it and leaves it all out there in the gloom. Rockwell had the line of the day. “Recalc, it’s like you were 49 for 2 years and 50 for 6 months.” We all kinda thought the same thing, Rockwell. Oh, and Air Drop…keep showing up man. Love having a rabbit out front like that. I’ll catch you next time!
Have a great day all.
Joe Davis March 9th- See Posse
Mark This Moment Daddy Daughter Dance March 1st- See Fuse