Author Archive laronda

CerberU.S.A

Fact of the day: July 6th is Sylvester Stalone, George W Bush, and Nancy Reagan’s birthday.

Not sure why we didn’t sign the Declaration 2 days later. Regardless, the PAX gathered to celebrate and this is what happened:

The Thang

  • Disclaimer was given for those in attendance and Nemo was lightly accosted for taking too long to finish putting on his make up after being late by 30 seconds or so. Ironically, the FNG was not present for the disclaimer…which raises the question, if a disclaimer is given and there’s no FNG around to hear it, was a disclaimer given?
  • Mosey past ye old Ale House, up the road to the mini-roundabout, and back to the pee pad turf.
    • 20 IC: IW’s, LSS
    • 10 OYO RDL’s (each leg)
    • Domino (PAX planks in a circle, then goes to R arm high. Q drops to do 5 merkins, stays in plank while the next PAX follows suit, then next PAX, etc. Looks like falling dominoes. During the explanation of a guy dressed to workout appeared from the general direction of Ted’s and asked to join. The more the merrier. R&R with L arm high.)
    • Febreeze (Found this gem in the Exercon. Kinda like Jack Webb, but somehow almost suckier. Ration 1:10 of WWII situps and air presses, the kicker being you hold a V position [6″ with your torso up as well] whilst pressing air. Plan was to climb then descend from 5:50, but Alf’s complaints were starting to wake up the guests at the Hilton, so audibled to nix the descent.)
  • Mosey to tha deck, take the stairs to the top floor.
    • Chedder Shredder (if you don’t know about it, ask Nemo. He introduced it to YHC at Centurion many moons ago and YHC brings it out almost every time YHC has a Q. But be sure to give Nemo credit, he was slightly miffed until YHC alerted the PAX of his contribution. There was even a bit of mascara running down his face from tears of anger.)
  • Mosey down deck, people’s chair to gather and give instructions
    • Rocky IV (Since there aren’t many good workouts associated with Bush or Mrs Nancy, we performed a little routine inspired by Stallone’s training montage in Rocky IV. Since we didn’t have a snow covered mountain, and doing sit-ups off a 10′ high ledge would, YHC is sure, nullify any kind of disclaimer given, the pax instead did the following to pay homage:
      • AYG up the slope (Mtn sprints)
      • 5 pullups at the top of the slope, mosey around to start of next slope
      • 5 hanging leg raises (in lieu of the ledge sit-ups)
      • R&R to the top, then people’s chair followed by 5 IC thigh taps on the wall.
      • Plan was to potentially R&R, but nah due to time and suckage.
  • Mosey back down, doing leg raises and pullups along the way in same routine as Rocky IV. LBC’s to gather 6.
  • Partner up and mosey back to launch parking lot via north entrance. Cue customary heckling (between PAX) of Gladiator, primarily focused on how F3’s membership rate is much better than theirs. However, they do have music.
    • Parking Ladder (P1 runs to stop sign by Chipotle and back while P2 does burpees at every parking space line in pattern of 1,2,3,4,etc. Flip flop and carry on my wayward son. Plan to go to 20, believe Larry Birds made it to 18 before YHC stopped us at 6:10. In hindsight, we should have just finished them. Cobains.
  • Mosey through Micky-D’s/Panera lot and return to launch.
    • Touch your toes, R over L, L over R, bilateral quad stretches (stretching is good for you, even if it’s not Blakeovery, Gumby, or whatever the hell Pokey is supposed to be.)
    • Nose Wipers (merkin where you touch both hands with your nose prior to coming back up. 10 OYO)
    • 6″ till 6:15.
  • El fin.

The Skine:

Our FNG actually ran into is 3-4 weeks ago while he was running around the Novel Providence apartments. McGee yelled some sort of invitation to join (which, if his pickup lines in college were of similar quality, I’m not sure how he got his wife to marry him), and he finally showed up this morning. Absolutely loved having him join us, named Snyder due to his (unfortunate) affinity for all professional DC teams after having lived there for a while. Welcome.

Solid effort by everyone today. Average age of attendance pulled south by 14yo Epsilon and Nemo, potentially giving Joust a run for its money as the youngest AO.

Some PAX endorses witnessing children and not just dogs urinating on the pee pad.

Also, YHC votes we get a cool flag like Gladiator.  #swag.

Announcements:

Useless to say at this point, but Epsilon has his VQ at Commitment.

 

 

Lewis and Clark were Young Once Too

The Thang (Part 1):

  • Head out of parking lot, cross to E side of PR, warm-up pace down PR to McKee (1mi)
    • Shoulder taps and MC’s to collect 6
  • Mosey E on McKee and turn L onto Providence Arbours Dr, R onto Esherwood
    • 5 burpees OYO, 10 Peter Parker’s at 4-way stop (Breamore) to collect 6
  • Keep going down Esherwood, turn L on Haddonshire
    • 25 each high knees and butt-kickers then accelerate to end of Haddonshire
  • Regroup on Lady Grace Ln to partner up and discuss the plan

The Thang (Part 2):

  • Our fair Lady Grace Ln contains one of the best hills outside of Raintree and Horsey, and conveniently there are speed bumps at the top and bottom of said hill. So…
    • Partner 1 runs the hill from speed bump to speed bump (about 100m…ish)
    • Partner 2 is the timer, run from top of hill to stop sign at Sarah Hall Ln and back
    • Goal is 20 cumulative hill climbs as a team.
  • Mosey back up Lady Grace as a group, L on Sarah Hall, R on Providence Church Ln
    • 5 burpees OYO at Providence Springs Elem. to regroup
    • Mosey back to Latin, but first run 1 lap (S on PR, L on Alexa, N on Providence church) with 10 burps OYO at Alexa/Providence Church intersection. #thanksHaze
  • Mosey back to launch, Mary with Hawk’s Nest until COT

The Skin:

  • YHC had planned to take the pax into some new territory this morning (variety is the spice of life and all that jazz). But it would seem that many of the pax are somewhat hesitant to follow someone solidly in the “Hate Hate” category. See below for evidence of this age discrimination:
    • You know we have to get back to our cars, right? – Astro
    • We should go this way to get back to Latin. – Prohibition, referring to the route YHC had already planned to take after running Lady Grace.
    • Are we running back the way we came? – Fault Line, about halfway through hills.
  • Rachel volunteered himself without telling anybody that he would take the hit for us having odd numbers and just ran hills the whole time. Typical.
  • Haze graciously pointed out the Alexa hill when we passed in on the warm-up mile, and YHC was happy to audible it into the final stretch. You can all collectively spam his email with spiteful memes.
  • Fault Line revealed to Alf and YHC that he thinks he might have a stress fracture, but he decided to run anyway. This reveals two things: 1) Fault Line may not be sane and 2) Hokas can’t solve all of the world’s problems.
  • Prohibition was pissed when YHC attempted to cut his quest for 20 hills short in the interest of time, not sure if he was trying to get his steps in for the day or what.

It was a pleasure gents, keep getting after it. The workout is just the start to the day’s challenges, let’s keep the energy and dedication throughout all the things we are responsible for.

Groundhog Jousting

After a loooooooooong time, YHC made it out to the immaculately cultivated grounds of THE Charlotte Christian Academy for some fun.

I scoured the F3 Nation Exercise list for some ideas and found a few gems, so here we go [went]:

The Thang:

  • Mosey through front parking lot to explore the newly finished Fine Arts (I think) building. Note to future Q’s: more stairs than you will know what to do with. Definitely something to utilize.
  • Back to parking lot for some dynamic warm-ups:
    • RDL’s 5/leg then yog a bit
    • Lunges 5/leg then yog
    • Walking Knee-to-Chest 5/leg then mosey down to upper playground
  • Mini-Dora: Partner up and cumulatively do the following
    • 50 Pull Ups (timed by a run down/up the bleachers)
    • Mosey down to field and commence 100 Carolina Drydocks (timed by run across field and back)
      • Note: A great modification to increase difficulty for Drydocks is putting feet up on a ledge/bench/etc.
    • 150 100 RDL’s/leg (timed by run across field and back)
    • Plank with various and sundry movements waiting for 6
  • Bataan Death March on the track
    • Line up for Indian Run, but last PAX drops and does 5 burpees before sprinting to front of the line
    • Everyone went once (little more than a lap) then we broke up into partners and did Catch Me if You Can w/ 5 burpees
      • CMIYC for 2 laps
    • Pick up 6 when done
  • 25 LBC IC to “recover”
  • Railroad Tracks w/ Shoulder Taps
    • In end zone split into groups of 4.
    • 1st 3 PAX assume high plank position on every 5th yd line (5-10-15) and commence shoulder tapping
    • 4th PAX hurdles planked PAX before setting up on the 20.
    • Last PAX gets up, hurdles, planks, etc. until all PAX reach opposite EZ
  • Sprint 10, BP 10, Sprint 20, BP 20……Sprint 40, BP 40, Sprint 100.
  • Plank-O-Rama for a bit
  • Mosey to front parking lot
  • Partner up, one partner runs to end of the island/back while other partner does squats on every parking spot line
    • Every line increases squats by 1, thus first line 1, second 2, etc.
    • Go until 6:13
  • Mosey to launch for slow Merkins until time.

Observations:

  1. Covered 2.82mi with some work to chronically underutilized (by F3) muscles, namely back/shoulders/hammies.
  2. Baracus made it very clear he should have chosen a different partner for CMIYC (Fletch). All agreed, pointed, and laughed.
  3. Smokey is terrible, nay abysmal, person to have lead an Indian Run line.
  4. It was great to meet Double D and Carburetor for the first time today, strong showing and I was surprised to hear Carburetor has only been F3ing for a week.
  5. Double D says Bataan is properly pronounced “Baht’n.” He also said he was 30 in COT prior to correcting himself to 42. #questionable

Announcements:

  • Keep Header in your prayers, his father recently passed away.
  • Somehow nobody had anything to say about any races. The end is nigh.

You can Thank My M

Last night YHC recalled his Q duty as he was investing in quality time with the M watching her favorite TV show (which, in the interest of keeping YHC’s man-card will remain nameless, as YHC as grown to love said show). YHC lamented to his M about not having a plan, maybe a deck-o-cards, upon which time she promptly filled in the exercises.

YCH did not inform PAX of this prior to launch.

THE THANG

Mosey back and forth across SCMS bus lot, doing the following at alternating ends:

LSS (x10 IC)

Burpees (x5 OYO)

IW (x10 IC)

Moving RDL (x10/leg OYO)

High knees/Butt Kickers

 

Mosey to open area adjacent to bathrooms and commence the M-Card beatdown:

Hearts=Hill sprints (on hill leading down to baseball fields)

Diamonds=Overhead claps in Air Chair (reps= card# x 5)

Spades=Merkin (reps= card# x 2)

Clubs=Sister Mary Catherine (each leg)

Did this until approximately 6:05, then Jack Webb to 10 merkins followed by

10-American Hammer and Flutters (IC)

8-American Hammer and Flutters

6-American Hammer and Flutters…..yada yada until 2

Name-o-rama

COT

Moleskine Pontifications

– The card flipping was done via a nifty app YHC impulse downloaded last night. After having attended many card workouts where the deck was rigged by an “unsuspecting” group leader, YHC assumed this was a foolproof way to avoid any mumblechatter accusing YHC of stacking the deck. After what seemed like 5-6 consecutive hill sprint cards in a row the pax were rather dubious. Blame it on Siri. Due to this phenomena, the pax essentially ran hills for 30 minutes. #horseyindisguise

– Witch Doctor does not approve of hill sprints or dimly lit staircases.

-Dollywood is unsure of his age. 26, 27, and 28 were all attempted during name-o-rama without any resolution. Happy __ birthday anyhow, let us know how many candles to put on the cake when you figure it out.

-Long-time-no-see post for Sweatshop, good luck on marathon training. Also, very nice person despite the heinous nature of his nickname.

-Discovered during Name-o-rama: Chuck E. Cheese sells beer. Just saying.

Thanks Smoky for the opportunity to lead.

Exercitiul este bun pentru tine.

The Thang:
Disclaimer

Mosey to far end of fields to grab one block per PAX (+1 rock, see moleskine) then back to launch.

COP:
IW (10x IC)
Romanian Dead Lift (10/leg OYO, see moleskine)
LSS (10x IC)
Merkin (10x IC)
MC (10x IC)

Carry coupons over to playground for the following:

10 burpee presses
10 pull ups
Run to island in front parking lot and back

Rinse and repeat with 9, then 8, then 7….etc

Slow mosey to walk with blocks/rock.
Stack all blocks together, assume people’s chair position and transfer blocks to other end of line while in position. Rinse and repeat.

Mountain climbers with feet on wall (10x IC)
7-layer merkins (5x IC)

Retrieve block/rock and mosey down to parking lot.

Partner up
Catch me if you can to McKee Rd and back:
P1 farmers carry with 2 blocks
P2 10 merkins

Rinse and repeat CMIYC with 10 monkey humpers and backwards run (no blocks/rock)

Return blocks, then mosey to launch with 30, 20, and 10 squats at each light pole on the way.

2 min of plank Mary
Nam-o-Rama
COT

 

Nakey Moley

-The AO is providentially endowed with exactly 10 (ten, dies, zece, X) cinder blocks. As the PAX arrived and 0530 approached YHC had exactly 10 PAX. Beautiful. Then Rachel showed up at 0529:55. (sigh). YHC thusly used an unsymmetrical and unwieldy rock, a fact that will be used to explain the disparity between YHC’s finishing time and that of Rachel and Orange Whip who crushed the Burpee-pullup ladder.

-During COP Pop Tart questioned the true nationality of the RDL exercise. A debate ensued with opposing sides promoting either Russia or Romania. This conflict intermittently popped up in subsequent mumble chatter, especially during the people’s chair-block-transfer (YHC proposes the name “Berlin Wall”). Per Google, the RDL is Romanian. Interesting historical note about Romania, “During World War II, Romania was an ally of Nazi Germany against the Soviet Union, fighting side by side with the Wehrmacht until 1944, when it joined the Allied powers and faced occupation by the Red Army forces.”  So basically when asked to fight the Romanians respond with “As long as it’s against the Russians.” Considering the current political (presidential) climate (business partnerships), YHC thought it fitting to title this BB in Romanian in solidarity to their cause.

-As always, monkey humpers were a crowd favorite. Comments were made regarding the loss of respect all 2.0’s would have for the PAX upon witnessing such a spectacle.

-Kudos to Pop Tart for refusnikking the called cut-off time for the ladder and finishing out the last round. All other PAX were dubious of his dedication, however, as the final lap coincided with the first round of Berlin Wall. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.

Announcements

Isabella Santos is coming up soon, get on it! Lot’s of info from other PAX on Pre and Backblasts, see those for info. https://f3southcharlotte.com/2017/07/21/preblast-south-charlotte-speedforneed-isabella-santos-5k10k/

F3 Golf is Oct 27. See f3golf.com for all the deets.

DV/Anvil Convergence this Wednesday @ Anvil. Beatdown followed by speaker (high quality guaranteed by Smokey) and Starbucks. Will be finished by 0650.

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Mumblechatter

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