Author Archive JRR Tolkien

Swift Pre-Blast: Chinese Fire Drill Intervals

Bratwurst is out… Tolkien is in, but don’t worry…  the fabled Fortune Cookie Run won’t be back. Instead we’re running a Chinese Fire Drill. Mongol style!

The THANG

0500 – 0515:   warm up the legs and core by pulling each other in rickshaws for 15 minutes, sneak in a little Tai Chi to get the mind right. Shots of ginseng to chase down a GU packet right before the main event.

0515-0615:    In drive mode (coasting, no pressure on the gas) one PAX starts driving Tolkien’s truck around the bull ring with the rest of the Pax in the cab or in the bed.  The person in the back of the bed, hops out of the truck, runs around the truck without getting hit, enters the driverside door, pushes the driver in, and the PAX move towards the back of the truck.  Repeato until all PAX have cycled through.  That’s round 1.  Round 2, add 5mph to the truck speed and repeat until 0615 or until there is a casualty. Remember the disclaimer that is given at the start that you exercise at your own risk.

or….

We could go with the Bratwurst plan, so set your watches accordingly:

  • 3min HARD (2mi race pace) followed by 2min recovery
  • 4minHARD (2mi race pace) followed by 3min recovery
  • 3min HARD (2mi race pace) followed by 2min recovery
  • 4minHARD (2mi race pace) followed by 3min recovery
  •  on and on and on until 0615

PACE Groups:

(R) ICH Pace – if you can afford a fancy watch that will override your heart rate to something ridiculously low and pump your VO2 MAX into the 60s fictitiously. Bunker leads pace group.

(I) NJURY Pace – if you have sprained an ankle for good or bad reasons in the last year, you have a free pass to this group. Fire Hazard, Tolkien and Tuck are the pacers…. in arrow formation, like Nike’s Breaking 2hr marathon pacers did… only 2hrs slower.

(P) URGE Pace – follow Frasier, Citgo, Fahvra, and whoever else has no body fat who will be running at lightning speed, and purge the food they ate four days ago in the woods somewhere to stay lean and mean.

See you tomorrow…. maybe
“They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our F3DOM!”  ~ @JRRTolkienF3

A Mongol Leads a Bunch of Savages at the Matrix

SUMMARY

21 men (including 1 FNG) showed up at The Matrix for a last minute obstacle course training cram session, led by the Mongolian Banana, ahead of this weekend’s Savage Race.  Shovel flags (F3 Hot Tubs, and The Matrix) were planted, and thank goodness no one else showed up or else there would not have been enough gear…. teams of 3 were formed for some HIIT. Suppose credit should be given to Paper Jam and Madison for a prerun, even though they COULD have helped YHC set up stations #lonely.  Madison gets a free pass, for collecting a TON of gear for the Charlotte Rescue Mission and Men’s Shelter workouts MIP and Fortitude.  In the end, everyone should have issues writing with a pen today, squeezing a tube of toothpaste, and … whatever else requires some level of grip strength (use your imagination… or NOT).

THE THANG

The objective of the day, was to simulate a little bit of the Savage OCR Race that 50+ A51/SOB/UC PAX are participating in.  That means sprinting from one obstacle to another, conquering the obstacle, and hoping you have enough grip strength to make it to the finish line with 100% completion.  Failure to complete an obstacle for ELITES results in a DNF time.  A little different rules for the Open, but no one wants to fail an obstacle.  After a quick lap around the parking lot to loosen the legs, instructions were given in High and Low plank position to PAX to allow YHC to “hear the sound of my own voice, and show off the chesticle strength that benched 41.99 reps of 135lbs at the BROlympics”  VIDEO EVIDENCE…. at least that’s what ALF ws yapping… or something like that. SMH.  Anyway, plan was to complete 2 rounds at 7 stations, spending 2:20 at each station, and sprinting :30 to a point and back during the transition. 40min of HIIT total.

  • Station 1: Dead-arm-hang / toes-2-bar at the pullup bars (grip/core)
  • Station 2: Supine rope pullups with thick rope (grip / back)
  • Station 3: ~20lb sandbag tosses to partner (total body)
  • Station 4: Reverse burpees with 25lb or 35lb kettlebell (abs/legs)
  • Station 5: Thick Tug-O-War Rope Resistance pulls (grip/back/core)
  • Station 6: Farmer’s Carry with choice of 45lb kb’s / 45lb plates <with grip holes> / 35lb plates <fingertips>
  • Station 7: ~85lb Heavy Home Depot Bucket Carries

Somehow the last station was missed from either PAX revolt, oversight, or being out of time (extend these 45min workouts!) Load the gear back up in the truck, and FINITO!

NAKED MOLESKINE

YHC lives all of 1.8 miles away from The Matrix AO, yet has NEVER posted there in nearly 3 years of F3 (Take that back, YHC met Turkey Leg there for a marathon training run once, came back, and crashed COT once).  Guess what… YHC is NOT sorry! How can anyone build any sort of self-esteem getting dusted by the likes of Orange Whip, Joker, and Lobstah Roll.  Those dudes are so in sync you should watch their perfectly synchronized bucket carry turns. Another reason NOT to show up to the Matrix is how can anyone focus on working out when Poptart and Alf are going toe-to-toe on snarky comments for 45minutes. Alf, moving the cone distance shorter mattered today, and Poptart, no one saw you running with the two 45lb plates but everyone heard you whimper in the following bucket carries for doing so.  Some of my SOB loyalists were in attendance as well (NOT referring to Paperjam) in Tuck and Wild Turkey #SaturdaySiteQsRule or at least they used to.  O’Tannenbaum nearly forgot his name in COT because either he was too busy gazing at Patdown, or … was still delirious from the workout.  Welcome FNG Pauly D, a New Yorker named after the baller from ‘Jersey Shore’, who is Tuck’s brother here visiting.  Smoky showed some afterburners on some of the sprints, giving Rachel a run for his money, which was 0 since F3 is Free… unknown if he was running fast, but it looked that way.  If we had been short a heavy bucket, Prohibition offered to carry Turkey Leg, since they both weigh about the same.  Arena made the right call, and made sure to do his toes-to-bar away from Poptart, who was doing a different exercise called ‘Hands-to-hips-feet-to-ground’. Witch Doctor, Crabcake, and Squid all put in solid silent work as YHC has seen them do at a similar workout at RockZero and other workouts.

Thank you to Squid and Poptart for the invite to come lead the Matrix. It was long overdue, and YHC promises to post before my next 3yr anniversary.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

  • Nash and JRR Tolkien are bringing speed pushing racing chairs like Team Hoyt and Ainsley’s Angels of America, to F3 Nation, a charitable initiative called F3 Speed For Need.  The official preblast and marketing launch will be coming in a few days but in the interim, please spend a few minutes to watch the video in the link here, and read a little bit about the initiative in the top section of the link:   F3 Speed For Need Pre-Preblast (watch video)
  • Join your fellow SOB / A51 / Indian Land brothers in the Charlotte Craft Course on Saturday May 20th from 1200-1530 starting at NoDa Brewing Co. Basically the point is to run to as many breweries as possible, get blasted, try not to puke (in the bar at least), and try to also not get hit by a car or sprain an ankle. Have your M pick you up if you’re not already in the doghouse for this, or stay at Tuck’s House since he has plenty of room, even with a hoard of 2.0s….. contact Tuck for details or check Slack. You can register on : CLT Craft Run Signup
  • If you are not doing Savage Race, consider Q-ing Outland workout this coming Saturday which is at Sun Valley Middle School at 0700. Contact Madison @JeremyFDraper

“They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our F3DOM!”  ~ JRR Tolkien

Stepping Down To Step Up

TOLKIEN’S TWO CENTS

Yes, it’s true. Today was my last day as co-site-Q at Stonehenge, but I’m not going anywhere fellas. In fact, the way I see it, I’m stepping DOWN to step UP.  Miffed? Let’s talk. When Dredd and OBT founded this thing called F3 Nation ~6.5 yrs ago the MISSION was to plant, grow and serve small workout groups for men for the invigoration of male community leadership.  And being a site-Q is an excellent way to fulfill part of that mission, in fact I believe it’s the genesis.  What better role than site-Q can there be than to assemble, develop, provide leadership, encourage, and shield lock with men wanting (knowingly or unknowingly) to do the same with you.  In fact, after about 2 years as a site-Q, I can honestly say all my tremendous gains in the First F (Fitness), have been officially outpaced by the gains in the 2nd F (Fellowship) and 3rd F (Faith) thanks to my brotherhood with all of you #notaninjuryjoke.  It’s been a honor to lead, and an equally great honor to hand the baton off to another man to grow and lead. #F3missionaccomplished.

But you see, although I may not be the site-Q of Ballantyne’s Premier Saturday workout anymore, I’m not stepping DOWN from leadership… in fact, quite the opposite, I’m stepping UP.  Over the past few years, I’ve witnessed ordinary men do extraordinary things after being invigorated by F3: like seeing my brothers in Union County raising money and renovating Debbie’s House when they didn’t so much as stay in a Holiday Inn the night before.  In A51/SOB, you’ll find guys hitting the grocery store to buy food and water, load up the truck, and head down to Columbia for the weekend to help out flood victims in any way possible. Pick anything from my brothers in The Fort, whether it’s giving away turkeys, supporting the Joe Davis Race to end addiction, or having a charity magic show to help kids get the start in life they need #totallyAWESOMEevent.  In Metro, on Tuesdays PAX start their day off encouraging our homeless brothers at Fortitude, put in a full workday, and cap the day off by teaching underserved kids at Billingsville Elementary how to read.  On Saturdays, they hit their own workout, then double-down at the Charlotte Rescue Mission to support the men battling addiction, before supporting their kids at soccer/baseball/football games just like the rest of us.  Travel further North, and you’ll find a father, who in the midst of never-ending grief for the loss of his daughter a year ago, started a charity to bring joy to children through Operation Sweet Tooth.  I’ve been invigorated, and now it’s my turn to do something greater than serve myself to help accomplish the mission of F3, so I’m stepping UP for the Nation, and hope you all will come along for the ride… it’s going to be FAST!

Introducing: The F3 SPEED FOR NEED Charitable Initiative.

SUMMARY

14 PAX came out to Stonehenge (Frasier, W-Turkey, JRRT for 3 mile “2nd F” prerun) to stretch their legs on a beautiful Saturday morning and work in a little exercise, before heading to Einstein’s Bagel…. the real reason for exiting the fartsack. Former Stonehenge Site-Q Frehley’s Comet ran out of loincloth towels, woke up feeling a little ‘greasy’ downstairs after Cinco de Mayo, and thought better to skip the workout and head straight to the coffeeteeria.  It was supposed to be a special day at Stonehenge this particular morning.  Mr Bean made a guest appearance, and was celebrating his 3 year anniversary of being in F3 (no he hasn’t Brexit from it…. just been busy with being newlywed, his new baby boy Luca, and of course Haggis intolerable working conditions at the Stone Man).  Today was also the day YHC was handing off the Stonehenge Site-Q keys to Nard Dog (not present, needing to attend the international ragdoll and beanie-baby collectors convention in Shakemyhead, Idahoafter nearly 2 years of site leadership. No wonder more guys showed up at DaVinci (of all places) for a Voodoo meathead led workout! It was a great morning, full of all 3 F’s – Fitness Fellowship and Faith, and YHC is thankful for everyone present, MIA, or DR on this day.

THE THANG

<Placeholder for Mr Bean’s First 30min of Workout backblast. Bets anyone if it gets written?>

Tolkien’s time to Q… and fittingly we ended up starting at the “off limits” Premier Parking Deck up Ballantyne Corporate Place.  For those of you who have known me long enough, YHC has always loved parking deck workouts, ever since the 1st time YHC posted at The Muthaship on 6/15/15 (RIP to the workout).  YHC instructed PAX to run backwards on the ramps AND the straightaways of each level of the 5 story deck, stopping at each end to perform 20 hip-slappers (10 each side) with feet on top of wall, in cadence, all the way to the top.  Quads and core smoked.  Next, over to the stairs, run up to level 5, 5 donkey kicks on the wall, run all the way down to the bottom…. run up to level 4, 5 donkey kicks on the wall, run back down to the bottom… repeat until all levels completed.  Finally, mosey over to the Helipad where Partner #1 performs 1-min of strict sit-ups while Partner #2 holds feet. Flapjack.  Loser does 5 burpees. How did Tuck get 95 sit-ups in 2 minutes at BROlympics?!?! (See video evidence here:  BROlympics Video ) Run back to launch for COT. FINITO!

NAKED MOLESKINE

<Placeholder for Mr Bean’s part of backlist…. still waiting>

Thank you SOB’s for the opportunity to lead Stonehenge.  YHC has become great friends with many of you through this experience.  How can anyone forget all those ridiculous marketing Tweets sent out to promote your Q’s between myself and Wild Turkey? (Fahvra’s VQ and the railroad train of ‘applicants’ meme…. Dolphin’s marketing with the ‘vibrating soap dispenser’…. millions of cuddly pandas).  We’ve had fun playing bucket pong, carrying logs, segment hunting, and even having a celebrity Q like Dark Helmet (not Foulball) pop in once in a while.  YHC is looking forward to Nard Dog’s leadership, and expect him and Wild Turkey to do nothing less than continue to grow SOB Nation…. F3 Nation from here.  YHC will still see you guys at Stonehenge most Saturdays so you’re not getting rid of me that easily!  YHC also expects you ALL to lead with me on F3 Speed For Need!

“They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our F3DOM!”  ~ @JRRTolkienF3

Sweat, Wet, Got It Going Like A Turbojet!

SUMMARY

8 men aimed to exfoliate their pores using mother nature’s humidity, and not a Loreal cucumber mask at Commitment today. Boyz it was HOTTT!!! 4 men (Posse, Doc, Hollywood, and YHC) took a 2.5 miles tour of the AO in prerun, attempting to draw an A-Wing Rebellion Ship to show up on Strava, well thats what it looked like. Scrap the weinke, it’s too hot to PR the 1-mile on a time trial out of the gates! YHC audibled to a total body workout, plus some SPEED over miles AYG on the track.  Only 2.1 miles covered, but don’t discount it as easy for the mileage. As they sometimes say about other things:  “It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean.” or more appropriately, “Never judge a workout by it’s Strava Miles”.  Having too much fun here… YHC needs to run off to F3 Dads Camp now that soccer is over, so will try to make this quick!

THE THANG

2 minutes late to start. Doh! An even 8 PAX for the workout today, so 4 track batons were handed out to 4 dudes who partnered up by size/speed. Mosey from launch to the grassy field adjacent to the track just to mess up someone’s new shoes (can’t remember who). YHC calls some SSH / IW in a half-hearted attempt to get loose (since 4 of us already did ~3mi prerun and were warm #selfish). Mosey over to the concrete pad for what is YHC’s patented 31 consecutive merkin salute in (Q-called UP – DOWN cadence): 5 regular / 5 wide / 5 diamond / 5 right had offset / 5 left hand offset / 3 right leg high / 3 left leg high.  Chesticles worked for the day. Mosey to under the bleachers to work on some grip strength hanging on the slanted beams, lift your left up to work on some abs as well.

Mosey over to the track, for some 2X200 meter relays. Partner 1 sprint AYG 200m around the track to partner 2, hands off baton to Partner 2 who sprints AYG to the finish line. We did this 4X in the sweltering heat, with 50 LBC in the middle of each sprint.

Next we went to the bleachers for alternating sets of Dragon Flags and alternating single-leg squats. If any of you have not done a dragon flag before, check out my main man Bruce Lee and the proper-form:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mf_TLDVwIs   Yeah, we weren’t really doing THOSE.

Head to the concrete bleachers across the track to the stairs. Set 1: Partner carry up the stairs, flapjack. Set 2: Partner wheelbarrow up stairs, flapjack Set 3: Climb the stairs, with 1 low deep squat on each step, all the way to the top.  At the top, we did 3 set of 10 (left and right) hip-slappers on the wall, and amazingly no-one broker their neck or teeth or both.

Mosey back over to underneath the bleachers for some more hanging from the beams underneath, only to find out that all of our grip strength was pretty much gone. Mosey back to the short wall by the concrete pad for some dips with leg raised for added difficulty. Mosey back to launch, with a few min left, do the 31 consecutive merkin salute in Q-called UP – DOWN cadence one more time…. 7:30 and FINITO!

NAKED MOLESKINE

Great group of guys this morning… YHC always states Commitment AO is 2nd or 3rd best in all of F3 Nation workouts YHC has attended (which is a lot of different ones! #SOBA51MetroUCFortMECANashville). Apologies, something special about the Muthaship, and it’s 12 story parking deck dizzyback. But back on topic…. YHC plans on making more appearances at Commitment now that the reigns to Stonehenge are being handed off by YHC as co-site-Q, in the coming weeks.  Few musings:

  • Doc Mcstuffins was ribbing FLO about posting for the first time in a while, and picking one of YHC workouts to come back to.  Glad you came out buddy, and remember if you DO ask for a new F3 renaming… it can be much much worse. https://twitter.com/nick_nolte
  • MoneyBall didn’t look fatigued on the hip slappers and held his own all day. What he did have to modify in, he made up with mumblechatter, so he definitely got a full workout in.  Great posting with you brother.
  • Impressively, Bottlecap nearly caught Hollywood on one of the 200 sprints which was spectacular given Hollywood made the final heat of the 100 meter dash at BROlympics.
  • Speaking of Hollywood, he somehow got to be the poster boy for the cover of the BROlympics video… but NOT on the running event. the BENCH PRESS! Whutttt? YHC is guessing thats because he has movie-star abs from his solid form on the dragon flags.
  • Snowflake beat me for the furthest distance driven to the AO this morning, but he normally wins that.  Also beat me on the 2X200 where he led down the homestretch and could not be caught!  If YHC had participated in more events at the BROlympics other than the bench press, Snowflake would have dropped the hammer on me even further.  Think YHC is going to put this in every backblast that Snowflake shows up … “I want to be like Snowflake when YHC is 55yrs old”.  Thanks for the kind words and the takeout today.
  • Doc Mcstuffins is still a force to be reckoned with. He’s gotten faster, as evidenced in SOB workout SWIFT, and today couldn’t be caught in the 200s either. YHC was worried he would have separation anxiety from his partner-in-crime Transporter being away, but no crying occurred.
  • Posse is really inspirational. Did great running with us for few extra miles in prerun, and was strong in all the exercises today.  Dude knows how to push himself, and it shows having lost 30-40lbs…. and 10 more by next month in the KidRockChallenge! Keep up the running and the speed will come!

***Thanks again for the workout clothes donation to the Charlotte Rescue Mission.  YHC had the honor of delivering the F3 Nation Mudguard jerseys to them (21 total) and the guys were so elated to have them!  Plus they will come in handy, three of the guys were wearing long pants to the workout, and one was wearing jeans since he did not own workout gear.***

ANNOUNCEMENTS

  • Yeah, we’re proud of it, and it’s been less than a week, so marketing is still allowed in my book!… Next year we are IMPLORING you to be a part of the action… #F3BROlympics2018.  Until then you’ll have to keep watching the EPIC 2017 video!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMnOHWs9Q7k
  • Stay tuned for the pre-blast about F3 Nation: SPEED-FOR-NEED racing chariot pushing for children with disabilities, which should be coming out in the next week.  Would love to identify a race in Union County that you all “sponsor” by simply can push a rider, and signing up for the race yourself to support it.  Really think this should attract new men to your region to grow F3 Nation.  In the interim, check out this inspirational video to see what SPEED-FOR-NEED is going to be all about! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaSnJBbieuk

TOLKIEN’S TWO CENTS

I love my UC brothers… talk about a welcoming group. You all are supportive of other regions and  travel to A51 / SOB, treat all PAX with kindness and support whether they are at the top of the fitness ladder or just starting the journey to get in better shape. You all challenge each other positively, and call themselves to be men of action, not just speech, as evidenced by their work with Debbie’s House.  You all actually inspired me to step up and lead the children’s chair pushing charity, and look outwardly, rather than running races purely for for self-edification. It’s no wonder Snowflake drives past 26 F3 workouts, 45 grocery stores, and 4 Waffle Houses on Saturday to get to Commitment! You guys, UnionCo is what F3 is all about, and it’s inspiring. Keep up the good work men and SYITG next time.

“They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our F3DOM!”  ~ JRR Tolkien

Wet and Nasty Threesome at the ‘Hole

Shame on you men for clicking on this Backblast after that title! But, hey, now that YHC has got your attention. Yes, Foxhole did happen this morning… no prerun, no kettlebell clinic, and had it not been for site-Q Argonaut and Mighty Mite showing up at 5:28am, YHC was about to head home for some shuteye after being weary from the BROlympic Games and CSAUP of video editing all of yesterday.  Wait, you don’t know about the BROlympicGames? Here is the link to the Backblast with EPIC videos: http://f3nation.com/2017/04/24/brolympic-games/  Anyway, back to the workout…. original plan for this Q was to do OCR strengthening exercises on the field, to prepare for the upcoming Savage Race, but YHC figured that with 100% chance of rain, ain’t nobody was gonna show regardless of how much marketing YHC did. So no marketing was done #throwingGoodmoneyafterBad .  Will need to save OCR training for another day.

Anyway, back to the workout, the three of us pushed our cars across the street to the Harris Teeter parking lot to warm up the legs. In the lot, we played shopping cart dodgeball (throwing the carts, not pushing them), bent a few telephone poles to work on our grip strength, and scaled the side of the stucco buildings to the roof to work on grip strength.  Finally, we went in the Harris Teeter, and jumped in the frozen pizza section freezers for 10minutes nekkid to work on our mental toughness. Mighty had to throw out a few fish sticks to fit in his, and somehow YHC got stuck next to the frozen General Tso chicken microwave dinners.  Finally, to warm up we went to the candles aisle, lit one up, and did some brogan to work on our mental game…. clothes back on at this point.  We felt comfortable at that point and did COT right there. YHC got Wardaddy for the day too.

Each of us had announcements about a myriad of different topics:

  • Argo, The BROlympic Gold Medalist in the KEG toss, reminded PAX about The BROlympic Games 2018… Oh, great announcement, here’s the link to the 2017 Backblast with EPIC videos: http://f3nation.com/2017/04/24/brolympic-games/
  • Mighty Mite, The BROlympic Bronze medalist in the bench press mentioned needing to do more chest-work after barely beating soccer-armed Tolkien in reps. Also mentioned save the date for The BROlympic Games 2018… Oh, great announcement, here’s the link to the 2017 Backblast with EPIC videos: http://f3nation.com/2017/04/24/brolympic-games/
  • JRR Tolkien, The BROlympic Gold Medalist in the Asian Category for all events, well I guess the bench press, since that was the only event he participated in, also mentioned save the date for The BROlympic Games 2018… Oh, great announcement, here’s the link to the 2017 Backblast with EPIC videos: http://f3nation.com/2017/04/24/brolympic-games/

Anyway, in all seriousness, thanks Argo and Mighty for showing this morning. YHC would be thanking you for NOT showing as well, but you did, and YHC had a fun hard different workout to start the work week off. YHC isn’t at all surprised that the two of you were there this morning. Argo is one of the most prepared site-Qs YHC knows, and leads by example always a professional, and showed he was a sprinting force as well as a strength force at The BROlympics… speaking of that, nevermind…. Mighty is also top notch in the reliability category.  Dude has plenty of reasons to be doing other things as a young buck, and a s a busy traveler for work, but he always shows up. He’s even the guy to Q a workout that nobody wants to because numbers will be low for a race. Mighty, you gotta stop purging even if you’re losing weight from it dude. XOXOXO

Enjoyed working out with both of you men this morning.

 

SYITG ~JRR Tolkien

Fortune Cookie Run – The Slowest Group Run EVER

After all the built up anticipation, media attention, and resale tickets… The Fortune Cookie Run is DEAD. 8 is not greater than 10.  Couple of guys (Chelms, Hairball, MAD) had YHC feeling like Manti Te’o until YHC was catfished and hoaxed into believing their attendance this morning was real.  Like the movie, ‘The Great White Hype’ the FC Run never had a chance. YHC doesn’t know what to do with the 60 left over fortune cookies sitting in my truck. Bushwood, you can have your silly fattening carb-loading workout back. (Epic Preblast Link: http://f3nation.com/2017/04/11/fortune-cookie-run-ma-fe-to-edition/  ) . 8 PAX showed up to race 3 grandmas trying to escape from the retirement community in their walkers, and couple of turtles moving to another pond. Like Jeremy Lin’s stint with the New York Knicks during ‘The Streak’, no-one  will ever believe this even happened. But it did….  here’s what we did:

Retread rolled up late, took his sweet time getting warmed up, and was the only one to take some sweets (glazed doughnuts) home after the run.  His MAF pace is sick at 8:26 min/mi at 139bpm!  Bunker nearly had heart attack from running too slow for the first ~2.5 miles (9:15 min/mi pace), sped up the rest of the run and still ended up averaging 8:04 min/mi over 6 miles at 140bpm. Tuck said he only slept 2hrs last night, doing something that he wouldn’t tell us (#4Kidsworkingon5?), so his MAF HR pace was elevated #viagra. Geraldo was the short course MAF champion today winning by 4.5mi over the next competitor. Your fortune cookie was well deserved.  Voodoo refused to run MAF, since he was supposedly working on his form and cadence.  What was interesting is we all could hear his sneakers scraping the pavement like sandpaper a half-mile up the road on Rea. Maybe he couldn’t hear it with his anti-social headphones blasting Mariah Carey’s Dreamlover.  Agony got there late for the Fortune Cookie Run, but early for the Donut run, and caught everyone but Bunker. He withheld his HR reading from the group, forcing us all to go to MapMyRun in order to see the results. That’s okay dude…. God knows what it is without having to check the website. Take that! Buckeye had the best fortune cookie message of us all, “Only a life for others is a life worthwhile.” Strong message… especially if you add “in bed” to the end of it, like you are supposed to for all fortune cookie messages #truth. As for Tolkien? My HR steadily rose as I became infuriated with how terrible my MAF pace is at 9:10min/mi at 146bpm.  It got even higher when YHC remembered The Panda Movie comes out April 21st! #ICan’tWin   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz3wBvFXK48&feature=youtu.be

Thanks Geraldo for the takeout, and appreciate the gear fellas for the men at Charlotte Rescue Mission! Have a great Spring Break everyone.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

 

  • YHC collecting old workout gear / F3 workout shirts for the residents which are F3 PAX at the Charlotte Rescue Mission. If you can donate a used one in halfway decent condition, that would be MUCH appreciated by the residents who truly wear them with PRIDE! Chelms mentioned just bring them to Centurion next Friday, or message me on Slack Twitter for pickup.
  • SAVE THE DATE!!! BROlympics is on 4/22/17 6-8am… 10 events… test yourself against yourself and the Area51, Unionco, Indian Land, Fort and SOB PAX for awards in 10 events! http://f3nation.com/2017/03/03/f3-brolympics-sat-april-22/

SYITG ~JRR Tolkien 

PreBlast: Fortune Cookie Run *Ma Fe To Edition*

Happy Chinese New Year! Well the almost 2.5 month anniversary of the Year of the Cock, or Rooster, as some refer to it as. Never mind… In celebration of the holiday, and in anticipation of the ‘Born in China’ Disney Documentary of THE GIANT Panda (in theaters April 21st see trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz3wBvFXK48&feature=youtu.be) there will be a 1-time Fortune Cookie Run offered in lieu of the fabled Donut Run.  You won’t want to miss it, in fact we’ll be commemorating an ancient Chinese warrior, and my cousin, Ma Fe To on this run….. Read more. You know you want to.

Tomorrow, we’re running MAF schpeed! That’s right. Bushwood gave me the keys to the D.R. and YHC is lighting this run up like a North Korean Missile that barely flew far enough to reach the ocean. You will NEED a heart rate monitor to effectively monitor your MAF pace (chest strap most accurate).  It’s simple, take 180 beats per minute, and subtract your biological age (not the age you act Hairball). Run to that heart rate number, or as close to it, the entire 6 miles…. not to a particular pace. It’s gonna be slooowwww. so show up early!

The serious stuff… Why MAF? Well, running at this heart rate is optimal for building your AEROBIC base (burn FAT not electrolyte or carbs) … running at a much lower heart rate is called JUNK MILES, and running significantly faster heart rate is building your ANAEROBIC ENGINE (burn carbs and electrolytes NOT fat).  Any serious athlete will tell you that at least 80% of the training is in aerobic HR zones, and 20% in anaerobic HR zones (MAX HR closer to 220bps – age). The idea is run enough MAF and your pace will eventually quicken at the same HR, so you are becoming more of an  efficient runner without burning your engine down! So try this one time… your body will thank you.

You can read from the man himself and not me, here: https://philmaffetone.com/what-is-the-maffetone-method/

*BONUS: If you bring some used workout clothes or a F3 shirt to donate to the men at the Charlotte Rescue Mission to use in the F3 Mission I’m Possible Workout, YHC will buy you 4 donuts at Dunkin Donuts, however they MUST be consumed SOLELY by you at the Dunkin Donuts (you are responsible for purchasing your own milk, or ginseng tea if you prefer).  Odds are the run will have burned 1/4 of the donuts you will have eaten… but only if you ran in the prescribed fat-burning HR zone*

This week, we will run the REVERSE route: Rea/Candlewyck/Providence/51/Rea – all RIGHT turns. Map and launch times below. Meet at Dunkin Donuts at Rea/Colony at specified launch time.

Map: https://www.strava.com/routes/7470827

Launch times and paces with MAF HR:
430: Panda Crawl Pace
500: 11:00-11:15 MAF pace (180-age = HR)
505: 10:15-10:30 MAF pace (180-age = HR)
510: 9:30-9:45 MAF pace (180-age = HR)        *Tolkien likely 9-9:15m/m pace*
515: 8:15-8:30 MAF pace (180-age = HR)
520: 7:30-7:45 MAF pace (180-age = HR)
530: 6:45-7:00 MAF pace (180-age = HR)
540: Bunker & whoever else has broken HRM  (180-age = HR)

Also, we have a new condensed version of the course at only 4.5 miles: Rea/Providence/Candlewyck/Rea (map: https://www.strava.com/routes/7829408). If you run this, please keep in mind we all want to end at 6:10-6:12. So, start accordingly.

Hope to see you there… if you think this idea is stupid, show up anyway, run whatever pace you want, and eat 4 donuts on me for some donation workout gear. XieXie.

SYITG ~JRR Towken

Asian… I mean Augean Series Week 4/8 @ Centurion

Summary

29 men, including 2 FNGs visiting from The Big Apple, were gluttons for punishment by posting at Centurion for week 4/8 of the Asian… err, Augean Series.  YHC did my best to jeopardize any chance of doing well in the weekend Spartan Races in Concord, by agreeing to Q an Augean workout the day before #poorplanning, but was honored to do so for my A51 brothers, and pay homage to retiring Site-Q Chelms.

Augean <adj.> : extremely formidable or difficult and occasionally distasteful. Of a task or problem requiring so much effort to complete or solve as to seem impossible

YHC originally wanted to change things up for my first post at Centurion, including cover new ground (hit the CMC Pineville 5-story Deck per Madame Tousseau‘s recommendation) and bring some unique exercises (Dragon Flags, Reverse Burpees, and maybe Hip slappers?) to a longstanding respected AO in 45minutes. Well, some of that was achieved, but YHC had a gut feeling that an audible to Plan B was needed with so many PAX.  We’ll have to save Tolkien’s Two Tower Challenge for another day #raincheck Hey at least we didn’t have to go running over the couple of soggy grassy humps behind Amelie’s which look more like the Jolly Green Giant’s areolas (facepalm statement).

The Thang

With the larger group, YHC decided to scrap plan A which was to hit the CMC Pineville 5 story Deck, which was ~1.25miles away. Those of you seeing the marketing, might have guessed we were headed there with the JRR Tolkien’s “Two Towers” Tweet.  No worries, on to Plan B, which was a lot less original than YHC planned, but hopefully a meat and potatoes effective workout for the PAX.

  1. Quick warmup from launch around football field, butt kickers, high knees, slow acceleration to the end of the football field. On your 6, grab a piece of the fence behind your head, and perform 10 Bruce Lee Dragon Flags Ab cruches (Proper Form of Dragon Flag Illustrated by Mr. Lee himself here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mf_TLDVwIs ) . If you were doing them like him, then your abs ought to be SORE tomorrow!
  2. At quicker pace, continue South on Johnston Road and West up Pineville Matthews Road until we got to Trio Restaurant parking lot. Immediately start Merkin variation set with no rest on my called UP/Down cadence: Regular, Right Leg High, Left Leg High, Wide Hands, Offset Hands Right, Offset Hands Left. Don’t know how many we did, but they HURT! Finish with 1min straight of WW2 sit-ups (remember your number).
  3. Run back quickly to Charlotte Catholic deck entrance. 15 more Dragon Flags on the fence.
  4. Round 1 of Deck Work! Backwards run up the ramp, forwards run the straights, all the way to the top. At each end, perform 20 hip-slappers with feet resting on the ledge of the high wall (80 total). People’s chair alternating R and L legs high. 1min straight of WW2 sit-ups (do more than previous time). Mosey to the end of the deck, AYG sprint across the top of the deck, down the stairs, 20 Dragon Flags.
  5. Round 2 of Deck Work! Backwards run up the ramp, forwards run the straights, all the way to the top. At each end, perform 5 reverse burpees (20 total).  1min straight of WW2 sit-ups (do more than previous time). Mosey to the end of the deck, AYG sprint across the top of the deck, down the stairs, 20 Dragon Flags.
  6. Mosey to the shorter concrete benches in the center of the CC parking lot. One group does 20 single leg squats on the bench (10 each leg), while another group races to the top of the stairs and back down. Flapjack.  Two sets of these. Final set of 20 Dragon Flags, then mosey to launch point for COT.

Naked Moleskine

YHC would normally do a long backblast… but literally just got swamped with a bunch of trades to do for work. So am needing to cut this short… sound off in the comments for what YHC missed please.

*Also: Missing a few PAX in backblast… apologies. Respond with who YHC missed so I can add you in*

Goonie looked like he was sprinting away from The Fratelli’s or towards a Big Hunk (candybar…not dude) on the second AYG at the top of the deck taking one of top spots. Rachel and Bout Time surprised everyone to be dragging so bad and pulling up the 6 all workout… as if. Welcome to the boyz from Barclays FNG Ryan AKA V.D (Venerial Disease) and FNG Chris (PENNicillin) to F3! You guys rocked the workout today and thanks for being good sports in the naming… still beats Coffee and Cream right?  V.D. YHC will get you a stepping-stool or driving pedal extensions so you’re not totally vertical on the hip-slappers next time you come.  Escobar got lucky with the Plan B #lessrunning . We’ll convert you from meathead someday brother. Plenty of strong performances out there from top to bottom, and you Centurion guys can really run backwards. YHC was the only one to get a TSA-like pat-down from an orange cone on the backwards run in the lot #violated . Thank you to Margo, Udder (DR), and Chelms for the invite to Q Centurion.  YHC appreciates all of the PAX strong efforts this morning and it was a pleasure to lead my A51 brothers. Good luck to those of you racing Spartan or another event this weekend, and have a great safe Spring Break to those of you off work next week.  Special thank you to everyone who brought some workout gear for the residents in recovery at The Charlotte Rescue Mission posting at Mission I’m Possible (MIP) Saturdays 9am.

Announcements

  • A51 HAPPY HOUR TONIGHT @ FOXCROFT WINE CO on Fairview . Bring some used workout gear to donate!
  • Upcoming 4/12 Convergence for Anvil and Death Valley with on-site coffeeteeria and speaker. Check out the preblast:http://f3nation.com/2017/04/06/pre-blast-the-coffeevergence-412/
  • YHC collecting old workout gear / F3 workout shirts for the residents which are F3 PAX at the Charlotte Rescue Mission. If you can donate a used one in halfway decent condition, that would be MUCH appreciated by the residents who truly wear them with PRIDE! Chelms mentioned just bring them to Centurion next Friday, or message me on Slack Twitter for pickup.
  • SAVE THE DATE!!! BROlympics is on 4/22/17… 10 events… test yourself against yourself and the Area51, Unionco, Indian Land, and SOB PAX for prizes in 10 events! http://f3nation.com/2017/03/03/f3-brolympics-sat-april-22/
  • Sign up to Q Stonehenge. Great site for VQ’s so step up and lead: http://www.signupgenius.com/go/4090d4aaba729a46-stonehenge
  • If you would like to Q Mission I’m Possible in Metro please contact Deertick or Marv or sign up on the schedule.  It’s a very humbling experience helping our brothers in recovery get some fitness, and they need your help!   http://www.signupgenius.com/go/10c0b4fa4ad2da1f58-f3mission1

SYITG~ JRR Tolkien

April Fools! Q-Swap @ DaVinci

Summary

15 S.O.B.’s (alternative acronym, not Sons of Ballantyne) showed up at DaVinci to take part in the Saturday SOB Workout Civil War between Site-Q’s Tuck (DaVinci) and JRR Tolkien (Stonehenge). Expecting their sometimes bearded leader Tuck to roll up at 6:25am to lead the jihad (ironically from the Chik-Fil-A holy site), the PAX got an unexpected surprise when YHC peeled into the parking lot blasting his radio to ‘Gangnam Style’, wound his truck window down, singing “HEYYY… SEXY LADIES! <pointing to all the pax>”…. April Fools b!tche$.

Several months ago Tuck, Wild Turkey, and YHC thought it would be a fun idea to play a April fools joke on the PAX of each site by swapping Q responsibilities on 4/1/17… April Fools Day. So Tuck would Q Stonehenge, but market as if he was going to Q his home site DaVinci instead.  Tuck was so excited about the idea that he signed himself up on the Stonehenge Sign-Up Genius and advertised April Fools Site-Q swap in the notes #IDIOT. Thankfully none of the PAX noticed the faux pas. In backroom negotiations, Tuck implored YHC to leave Wild Turkey out of the Q-swap to centralize the mudslinging marketing to 2 men… and for greater fear of being given a weinke involving 60 minutes of leg-wrestling and Chinooks, which YHC grudgingly obliged #sorryWT.

A plan was laid for Tuck and YHC to intentionally jab each other all week on Slack and Twitter to drum up interest / hatred / allegiance among the SOBs for the Saturday showdown.  But earlier in the week, no one took the bait! It wasn’t until Friday rolled around until the PAX was fully immersed in trash talking, recruiting, and the like. Lines were drawn between one-time “friends”, and other lines COMPLETELY CROSSED as Tuck began using YHC fat pictures from my Facebook page. #neckFat #likeapackofHotDogs #IrememberthatArgonaut . The plan worked, mission accomplished, and there was nothing left to do but carry out the April Fools Q Swap the next morning. Here is what we did….

The Thang

Tuck and I agreed to plan the other person’s workout, which we both agreed to be TOUGH, and not silly…. or else YHC was going to make the Stonehenge PAX do an hour of frontal partner carries or monkey humpers.  Here is what Tuck came up with, which YHC did his best to execute the plan for the Davinci PAX.

Part 1: Run to the Stonecrest Playground, find the shovel flag, and find the weinke attached to a brick paver. Read the following message to the PAX verbatim:

“Good morning everyone. My name is JRR Tolkien and I’ll be your da Vinci Q this morning. Tuck wishes he could be here, but every once in a while he likes to make sure the Stonehenge faithful get a decent workout. Now, everyone can clearly see that I’m fat. But what you may not know is that I’m also incredibly slow. Both of these attributes will come in handy over the next hour when there’s not a lot of light and you need to find me. Also, please take a moment to decide amongst yourselves who will carry me back to launch after I inevitably get injured. You may need to team up, because of the previously mentioned fatness.”

COP right where you are on the grass. Exercises are up to you (SSH, Imperial walker, merkins). I haven’t left you any gear but I’m sure you can figure it out. By the way, you need to carry the paver that the weinke was wrapped in for the remainder of the workout. You cannot put it down.

Part 2: After COP, mosey to the tunnel to the left of Banana Republic that leads to the stairs. In the tunnel you will find your next set of instructions under one of the benches.  You need to carry the paver that this 2nd weinke was wrapped in for the remainder of the workout (along with the 1st paver). You cannot put them down.

11’s on the Stairs: 1 burpee at the bottom of the stairs. Run up the stairs and perform 10 diamond merkins somewhere on the 2nd level. Run across the breezeway and down the 2nd set of stairs. Then 2 burpees at the bottom and 9 diamonds at the top. And so on, until 10 burpees at bottom and 1 diamond at top. Mary while waiting for the 6.

Part 3: Mosey to the retaining wall behind Old Navy/Marshall’s etc. (where we did muscle-ups last week). Somewhere on top of the retaining wall you will find the next part of your weinke.  You need to carry the paver that this 3rd weinke was wrapped in for the remainder of the workout (along with the 1st 2 pavers). You cannot put them down.

Suicides: Continue running behind the stores until you make a turn to the right. There you will see 7 giant lamp posts in front of you (Target will be to your right). Perform suicides using the light posts. 15 jump squats every time you get back to the starting point. Mary while waiting for the 6.

Part 4: Mosey past Target towards Rea Rd. As soon as you pass Target you will see a cart corral in the parking lot on your right. Go there and find your next (and last) weinke.  Guess what? You need to carry the paver that this 4th weinke was wrapped in for the remainder of the workout (along with the 1st 3 pavers). You cannot put them down.

Supine Pull-ups: Using this cart corral, perform 20 supine pull-ups. Ok, you can put down the pavers for a minute. Choose a landmark (far sign next to the Blue minivan/CRV) for the PAX to run around and return for 15 supine pull-ups. Run around same landmark, then 10 supine pull-ups.

Part 5: Mosey across Rea Rd, behind Best Buy and Pet Smart. When you get behind the buildings there is a little courtyard back there where the loading dock is. Have PAX line up in people’s chair against the wall that is furthest from the pond. Hold people’s chair, while 1st PAX in line runs to the metal railing (that should be right in front of you) and bear crawls back. Then next PAX in line does the same thing. Continue until all PAX have gone.

Part 6: JRR’s Impromptu Extra Credit … Follow Tolkien around parking lot in the extra few minutes remaining and attempt to make some silly Strava running art, by spelling “T U C K” in the parking lot (check Strava). Also to make sure PAX got over 4 miles (4.2mi total covered). Run back to Chik-Fil-A, few more merkins, and plank until time is up. Finito!

COT

Naked Moleskine

Sorry for the long backblast, but Tuck’s weinke was much longer than Tolkien’s (it was already obvious Tuck… no need to rub it in! #Italian>Asian #TMI #funnynotfunny)

It was a fun day (for me at least), and Tuck delivered on a tough weinke as we covered 4.2 miles during the hour. Thankfully the pavers Tuck wrapped in white paper, which emulated either C4 bricks, or opium bricks, were not confiscated by Blakeney Security or the CMPD bomb squad, and that no PAX were arrested picking them up.  After the smoke cleared, and the battlefield was visible… the anti-climactic SOB Civil War ended up in a 15 PAX @ DaVinci – 15 PAX Stonehenge TIE, and no burpees were owed by either Site-Q for a PAX imbalance.  YHC wishes it was a 30-30 tie but hey, there are a lot of SOB’s with faces perfect for radio not TV, so maybe they’ll appear when the weather is even more perfect.  For those of you who showed at Stonehenge, you have all earned yourselves free passes to F3HotTubs and are eligible for the singlet which Mario was sporting.  For those of you who showed at DaVinci, you are all on my hit list you unloyal basterds!  In all seriousness, YHC is glad to see DaVinci being so well attended post the 1-YR Site Anniversary. Tuck and 777 (get healed old fart).  Maybe it’s those bad@$$ Mona Lisa socks, which YHC is a proud owner of after Q-ing.  But probably it’s because of Tuck’s unwavering commitment to growing the AO base, and it’s paying off. Awesome work man, very proud of you, and despite putting my fat pictures on Slack, you’re still my home-boi!.  And just remember, let the record show that Bunker posted @ Stonehenge Saturday for YHC … mic drop. Tuck start looking for another job.

Couple of musings…. when YHC pulled up in the lot, Commish saw me and headed straight back to his car. For a minute YHC thought he was heading home showing allegiance for Tuck. He was just unstrapping his 2.0 GM out of his booster seat in the car.  Kid is much bigger and faster than when he first got named at Stonehenge few years ago…. yes, YHC still remembers.  It’s great to see newer PAX like Escobar stepping up to Q like last week (which YHC attended!), and fartsacking Stonehenge this week which would have given YHC the win, and instead posting at DaVinci and giving me the tie (@$#%#$%#!!!!!!).  Madame Tousseau started after YHC on the bear crawls, and finished before YHC… heck he even beat Frasier bear crawling when Frasier was in a full on sprint! #NOTabearcrawl.  Mighty Mite beasted the 11s, and showed off his newfound unfatness as he is looking slim these days.  Loogie was nice enough to clarify that the blue van in the distance PAX had to run to was actually a CRV. Great useless recognition of a vehicle no one cares about man #technicalities .

Thank you all for showing to either site. YHC encourages all PAX to post Saturdays to get to know each other, get a little sweat in, and enjoy some 2nd F after. It was a pleasure to lead.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

SYITG ~JRR Tolkien

F3 Dads: Shorties Drop The Gloves at Checkers Hockey

The chanting of “FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT… FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!” echoed throughout Section 111 of Bojangles Coliseum.  Almost in perfect chorus, throngs of fans screamed at the top of their lungs with such vitriol for the opposing Cleveland Monsters player to get their teeth knocked out and sent to the hospital. Most would have expected the raucous to be coming from a belligerent Poptart, Udder, and Strawberry holding their 15th Bud Light beer cup stack.  But on this day it was their young 2.0s screaming with such screeching treble in their voices for blood and injury from gladiators down in the coliseum ice rink.  Video evidence later showed Strawberry dancing a hippie jig to the ‘Fight’ chant, which was being led by his ringleader 2.0 Chase #proudpapa, while Gumbo face palmed next to him and scurried to buy ear mufflers from the concession stands for his toddler 2.0s.  The Checkers won 6-1, and 66 PAX, M’s and 2.0s left the arena filled with stadium junk food to go along with some great memories. This is the story of F3 Dads trip to the Charlotte Checkers Hockey Game.

The evening started off with Poptart casing the already shady Bojangles parking lot on Monroe Road sitting in his mini-van wearing his camo non-F3 shirt 2 hours before the game. He could have just gone inside and sat with Gumbo and his 2.0s, but he didn’t. Gumbo’s 2.0s already had their Checkers hats on and were ready to cheer #seasonedvets. Up roll Tolkien and Mr Brady with their band of five 2.0s (one borrowed from neighbor) ready for some greeeezy chicken and invite Poptart in from his minivan.  Mr Brady followed instructions, and is wearing his black F3 shirt #GOOD which was tucked so deep into his hiked up jeans #BAD, that his beltline was covering the F3 chest logo.  He would have made Steve Urkel look like his pants were sagging to the ground like MC Hammer had he been there!  Escobar & 2.0 also showed up to Bojangles late, having to pick up a bag of white powder before the game, he was seen cutting the corner of the bag with a switchblade and tasting it first… hey, maybe he was bringing his own powdered sugar for the funnel cake he was going to take down at the game!  A rogue Udder, and possibly his brother in-law Grafittti were going to Viva Chicken to eat healthy for the impossible clean-eating challenge, but after fat-shaming on Slack whoever was going to Bojangles, opted for another fried chicken joint, Chik-Fila-A , just to be anti-social.  Thinking about it, Udder likely just wanted to hug the giant moo-cow dancing around the drive through at CFA and tug on it’s udders… his pregame routine.  Big Papi tried to reroute the Pax to the Home and Garden Expo across the street, where he had spend several hours learning about trimming bushes #Bonsaiyousickos, making up some story about it taking 1.5hrs to get into the Checkers parking lot.  It took about 3 minutes to get there dude.

The first Checkers score was early in the game on a slapshot from near the blue line on a set play. GOAL!!!! Not sure anyone cared… but it was a great shot right in front of us, and it got the energy flowing and brought out the cowbells, two of them which Tolkien’s 2.0s Gypsy Danger and Dragon Queen had brought.  A few minutes later, Big Papi had stolen one of them, and like a big kid, was ringing the $%!* out of it on a second Checkers score while his kids were begging for them back #denied.  Escobar would have seen the second goal, but he and Tolkien were taking a selfie which didn’t even turn out good.  Grafitti would have seen the third goal, but he and Tolkien were distracted talking smack about Udder who spent nearly an entire period drawing a F3 Nation Sign out of a posterboard, and using every available black permanent marker to do it.  It was a suhweet poster! So was Mr. Brady’s sign, which also sported a F3 Nation emblem, right next to the large words he wrote “PUCK ‘EM”.  YHC’s son told me that he had spelled the word wrong… gulp.  Think he was referring to “EM” being spelled “THEM” (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it). Supposedly the F3 Nation symbol and web address was flashed up on the jumbotron at one point, but everyone was too loopy to snap a picture of it and Tolkien missed seeing that too (buying concessions for 2.0s… smh).

Great to have Big Tuna come out, but at one point in the second quarter, the dude and his minnows looked like a fish out of water. He was seen with his school of 2.0s trolling the open rinkside seats as close to the ice as possible and wouldn’t be denied premier access, flopping from seat to seat next to all the fat cats in the lower bowl. If YHC remembers correctly, Geraldo, MT, Fallout, Wingman, Kirby, and Mermaid brought the M’s to the game, and we were happy to have them to chaperone… but it’s no coincidence that these men were also the best behaved of the night (more later).  Witch Doctor didn’t say much about it, but he was mentally shaking his head sideways at all the nachos, cookies, and stadium food that everyone was taking down when his life’s purpose is to get everyone to eat clean and healthy!  His 2.0s were seen happily eating a gluten-free cabbage and quinoa cookie, with some beet frosting that they snuck into the game. Speaking of bad food, welcome Honey Bee to the game! HB only shows up for running workouts, and wherever he can gorge himself of hotdogs.  Dude had not one … not two … but THREE Bratwursts…. err, I mean hot dogs and should be renamed “Joey Chestnut” when he starts the next F3 AO at Coney Island called ‘Nathans’.  HB left the earliest, immediately after the 2nd period, but not before eating the rest of Alf‘s 2.0s hot dog which had rolled under his seat.  Speaking of Alf, he was dressed very dapper in his Ferragamo vest, which was actually a Van Hussein vest sold at JCPennys that he got at Goodwill. Whatever… he wasn’t wearing his F3 shirt. Neither was Poptart who was wearing some dirty looking camouflage rag from Cabela’s clearance rack. Neither was Wingman or Strawberry who wore Star Wars shirts as if the hockey game was some comicon event, and it wasn’t.  Mermaid, Fallout, Tolkien, Geraldo, Witch Doctor, Kirby, Big Papi, Mr Brady (sort of) all followed instructions and wore the b@d@$$ black to rep F3 Nation.

Probably, the best part of the night happened when the game was nearly over with 6 minutes left to go. The Checkers game announcer who happens to be part of FIA aka “Puck” welcomed F3 Nation to the game over the intercom, and sent up two talented Check-Mates Cheerleaders to come dance with the kids in our section to the song ‘Jump Around’ by House of Pain while the kids were captured by the “Move-IT Cam” and put up on the jumbotron.  All the kids couldn’t wait… and found their last bit of energy waving their signs and throwing down their best dance moves, even if it was past their bedtimes. While some unnamed PAX (rhymes with “Butter” and think NFL Quarterback Tom B____y ) made sure to capture every dance move by the Check-Mates… I mean 2.0s on their phones, the aforementioned Geraldo, MT, Fallout, Wingman, Kirby, and Mermaid didn’t see a thing as they were trying desperately to get on the kisscam with their M’s.  Well done men. #nopeeking

In all seriousness, thanks again everyone for coming out to the Checkers Game. My kids and I had a blast and can’t wait for the next F3 Dads event. Stay tuned for that (camping?).  We all have plenty of ideas for great events coming up, and if you have an idea share it! Make sure to joing the #F3Dads Slack channel to stay in the loop as well.  Blessed to be surrounded with F3 men who are invested in their families lives that we can do LIFE together with.

Until Next Time, ~ JRR Tolkien