15 S.O.B.’s (alternative acronym, not Sons of Ballantyne) showed up at DaVinci to take part in the Saturday SOB Workout Civil War between Site-Q’s Tuck (DaVinci) and JRR Tolkien (Stonehenge). Expecting their sometimes bearded leader Tuck to roll up at 6:25am to lead the jihad (ironically from the Chik-Fil-A holy site), the PAX got an unexpected surprise when YHC peeled into the parking lot blasting his radio to ‘Gangnam Style’, wound his truck window down, singing “HEYYY… SEXY LADIES! <pointing to all the pax>”…. April Fools b!tche$.
Several months ago Tuck, Wild Turkey, and YHC thought it would be a fun idea to play a April fools joke on the PAX of each site by swapping Q responsibilities on 4/1/17… April Fools Day. So Tuck would Q Stonehenge, but market as if he was going to Q his home site DaVinci instead. Tuck was so excited about the idea that he signed himself up on the Stonehenge Sign-Up Genius and advertised April Fools Site-Q swap in the notes #IDIOT. Thankfully none of the PAX noticed the faux pas. In backroom negotiations, Tuck implored YHC to leave Wild Turkey out of the Q-swap to centralize the mudslinging marketing to 2 men… and for greater fear of being given a weinke involving 60 minutes of leg-wrestling and Chinooks, which YHC grudgingly obliged #sorryWT.
A plan was laid for Tuck and YHC to intentionally jab each other all week on Slack and Twitter to drum up interest / hatred / allegiance among the SOBs for the Saturday showdown. But earlier in the week, no one took the bait! It wasn’t until Friday rolled around until the PAX was fully immersed in trash talking, recruiting, and the like. Lines were drawn between one-time “friends”, and other lines COMPLETELY CROSSED as Tuck began using YHC fat pictures from my Facebook page. #neckFat #likeapackofHotDogs #IrememberthatArgonaut . The plan worked, mission accomplished, and there was nothing left to do but carry out the April Fools Q Swap the next morning. Here is what we did….
Tuck and I agreed to plan the other person’s workout, which we both agreed to be TOUGH, and not silly…. or else YHC was going to make the Stonehenge PAX do an hour of frontal partner carries or monkey humpers. Here is what Tuck came up with, which YHC did his best to execute the plan for the Davinci PAX.
Part 1: Run to the Stonecrest Playground, find the shovel flag, and find the weinke attached to a brick paver. Read the following message to the PAX verbatim:
“Good morning everyone. My name is JRR Tolkien and I’ll be your da Vinci Q this morning. Tuck wishes he could be here, but every once in a while he likes to make sure the Stonehenge faithful get a decent workout. Now, everyone can clearly see that I’m fat. But what you may not know is that I’m also incredibly slow. Both of these attributes will come in handy over the next hour when there’s not a lot of light and you need to find me. Also, please take a moment to decide amongst yourselves who will carry me back to launch after I inevitably get injured. You may need to team up, because of the previously mentioned fatness.”
COP right where you are on the grass. Exercises are up to you (SSH, Imperial walker, merkins). I haven’t left you any gear but I’m sure you can figure it out. By the way, you need to carry the paver that the weinke was wrapped in for the remainder of the workout. You cannot put it down.
Part 2: After COP, mosey to the tunnel to the left of Banana Republic that leads to the stairs. In the tunnel you will find your next set of instructions under one of the benches. You need to carry the paver that this 2nd weinke was wrapped in for the remainder of the workout (along with the 1st paver). You cannot put them down.
11’s on the Stairs: 1 burpee at the bottom of the stairs. Run up the stairs and perform 10 diamond merkins somewhere on the 2nd level. Run across the breezeway and down the 2nd set of stairs. Then 2 burpees at the bottom and 9 diamonds at the top. And so on, until 10 burpees at bottom and 1 diamond at top. Mary while waiting for the 6.
Part 3: Mosey to the retaining wall behind Old Navy/Marshall’s etc. (where we did muscle-ups last week). Somewhere on top of the retaining wall you will find the next part of your weinke. You need to carry the paver that this 3rd weinke was wrapped in for the remainder of the workout (along with the 1st 2 pavers). You cannot put them down.
Suicides: Continue running behind the stores until you make a turn to the right. There you will see 7 giant lamp posts in front of you (Target will be to your right). Perform suicides using the light posts. 15 jump squats every time you get back to the starting point. Mary while waiting for the 6.
Part 4: Mosey past Target towards Rea Rd. As soon as you pass Target you will see a cart corral in the parking lot on your right. Go there and find your next (and last) weinke. Guess what? You need to carry the paver that this 4th weinke was wrapped in for the remainder of the workout (along with the 1st 3 pavers). You cannot put them down.
Supine Pull-ups: Using this cart corral, perform 20 supine pull-ups. Ok, you can put down the pavers for a minute. Choose a landmark (far sign next to the Blue minivan/CRV) for the PAX to run around and return for 15 supine pull-ups. Run around same landmark, then 10 supine pull-ups.
Part 5: Mosey across Rea Rd, behind Best Buy and Pet Smart. When you get behind the buildings there is a little courtyard back there where the loading dock is. Have PAX line up in people’s chair against the wall that is furthest from the pond. Hold people’s chair, while 1st PAX in line runs to the metal railing (that should be right in front of you) and bear crawls back. Then next PAX in line does the same thing. Continue until all PAX have gone.
Part 6: JRR’s Impromptu Extra Credit … Follow Tolkien around parking lot in the extra few minutes remaining and attempt to make some silly Strava running art, by spelling “T U C K” in the parking lot (check Strava). Also to make sure PAX got over 4 miles (4.2mi total covered). Run back to Chik-Fil-A, few more merkins, and plank until time is up. Finito!
Sorry for the long backblast, but Tuck’s weinke was much longer than Tolkien’s (it was already obvious Tuck… no need to rub it in! #Italian>Asian #TMI #funnynotfunny)
It was a fun day (for me at least), and Tuck delivered on a tough weinke as we covered 4.2 miles during the hour. Thankfully the pavers Tuck wrapped in white paper, which emulated either C4 bricks, or opium bricks, were not confiscated by Blakeney Security or the CMPD bomb squad, and that no PAX were arrested picking them up. After the smoke cleared, and the battlefield was visible… the anti-climactic SOB Civil War ended up in a 15 PAX @ DaVinci – 15 PAX Stonehenge TIE, and no burpees were owed by either Site-Q for a PAX imbalance. YHC wishes it was a 30-30 tie but hey, there are a lot of SOB’s with faces perfect for radio not TV, so maybe they’ll appear when the weather is even more perfect. For those of you who showed at Stonehenge, you have all earned yourselves free passes to F3HotTubs and are eligible for the singlet which Mario was sporting. For those of you who showed at DaVinci, you are all on my hit list you unloyal basterds! In all seriousness, YHC is glad to see DaVinci being so well attended post the 1-YR Site Anniversary. Tuck and 777 (get healed old fart). Maybe it’s those bad@$$ Mona Lisa socks, which YHC is a proud owner of after Q-ing. But probably it’s because of Tuck’s unwavering commitment to growing the AO base, and it’s paying off. Awesome work man, very proud of you, and despite putting my fat pictures on Slack, you’re still my home-boi!. And just remember, let the record show that Bunker posted @ Stonehenge Saturday for YHC … mic drop. Tuck start looking for another job.
Couple of musings…. when YHC pulled up in the lot, Commish saw me and headed straight back to his car. For a minute YHC thought he was heading home showing allegiance for Tuck. He was just unstrapping his 2.0 GM out of his booster seat in the car. Kid is much bigger and faster than when he first got named at Stonehenge few years ago…. yes, YHC still remembers. It’s great to see newer PAX like Escobar stepping up to Q like last week (which YHC attended!), and fartsacking Stonehenge this week which would have given YHC the win, and instead posting at DaVinci and giving me the tie (@$#%#$%#!!!!!!). Madame Tousseau started after YHC on the bear crawls, and finished before YHC… heck he even beat Frasier bear crawling when Frasier was in a full on sprint! #NOTabearcrawl. Mighty Mite beasted the 11s, and showed off his newfound unfatness as he is looking slim these days. Loogie was nice enough to clarify that the blue van in the distance PAX had to run to was actually a CRV. Great useless recognition of a vehicle no one cares about man #technicalities .
Thank you all for showing to either site. YHC encourages all PAX to post Saturdays to get to know each other, get a little sweat in, and enjoy some 2nd F after. It was a pleasure to lead.
SYITG ~JRR Tolkien
The Savage Race & Spartan Race is coming! SIGN UP BEFORE 2/16! (shameless marketing for the event Q’s… you’re welcome)
18 men gathered in the gloom at Elon Park Elementary, and a perfect venue for some obstacle course training. YHC loaded almost 1000lbs of gear in the truck (heavy buckets, kettlebells, plates, weight sled, ropes, and “spears”) for my Foxhole VQ intending to work on a LOT grip and core strength, two assets that are much needed to conquer OCR obstacles, and also provide a change of pace with the BIG-SWINGING-DIC… tators Argo and Voodoo out of pocket. Thank goodness the PO-PO didn’t show up to kick us off the astro-turf field, or at least impound my truck at 4:30am in the morning while gear was unloaded…. it’s been a rough week for gear at F3 workouts #ThanksGeneral&Frasier
So much for the weather forecast, the wind was blowing hard, and YHC scored a solid 9/10 on my ‘nipping’ score after wearing only a SOB Balrog racer-back. Hey, the Spartan tattoo needed some air on a OCR workout day! Five men (Fahvra, Thin Mint, Mario, Bratwurst, JRR Tolkien) rolled up at 5am for 30min of early pre-WORK which included a sandbag run & squats, and some extra time on the gear. The rest showed up a few minutes before 5:30 ready to rock.
Quick disclaimer given, with several options to modify (easier and harder). Because Foxhole is 45min workout, the WOD today ended up being a solid 40.5min TABATA workout (9 total stations x 2 rounds = 18 stations total. Time at each station was 2:05 with :10 second transition time. Plan was to partner up and stick with your partner through all the stations to completion of all 18 stations.
Fun morning today at the ‘Hole… for YHC at least. OCR season is just around the corner, so what better way to get ready for the mud run season than to work on refining some OCR skills… add in a trip to Kinetic Heights, and the grip strength will improve quickly… maybe not as fast as the blisters will form. A few musings from this morning:
PANDA’S PONTIFICATION PARAGRAPH
Climbing a mountain is tough, whether you’ve been to the summit or not. When you look up at the mountain from the base, you know it’s a long journey to the top, and that it will take time and effort to get there. You also know that once you’re there, the greatest view of the horizon can be seen, far better than the same view after catching a gondola up, and the feeling of accomplishment is infinitely greater. For some, it inspires men to climb even higher, while for others, it’s a constant struggle to reach a lower peak, and reaching the summit may not happen, but it’s worth the journey, because quite possibly greater glory might be achieved in just the attempt. But it takes a first step… and that can be the toughest part. We at F3 are about helping each other take that first step to higher ground, to climbing the mountain of physical fitness, mental fitness, and family fitness . We do it by bringing out both friend and stranger FNG to workouts, and sticking with them in the gloom. We do it by encouraging our injured PAX that the best is yet to come, even though the past was pretty good. We do it by pushing each other workout after workout to get even better, even at the expense of dropping a few positions in the final results, so long as we both finish higher. We do it through F3 Dads and investing in each others youth. It’s worth it to climb the mountain.
So here’s a challenge… pick someone to help climb the mountain. Wingman proposed pick someone who hasn’t been in the gloom for a while and stick with them and encourage them to keep coming out. Ask Bucky how to EH someone, since he just brought 4? new PAX to DaVinci the other week. Check in with Mr. Brady who’s got a fractured hip, and MAF it with him while he tries to get back to running form. Heck, YHC could even use some encouragement after losing basically all aerobic fitness from a calf injury post-marathon. Plenty of opportunities to be there for each other in so many ways. Pick ONE.
* So I’ll pick one, while I’m climbing my own mountain all over again. YHC would like to help a few PAX set a PR in a race soon. And why not this weekend? If you would like to run the Ballantyne 10miler or 4miler, YHC will do my best to help you PR your race (7:30min/mi pace or slower). Let’s climb that mountain together…. particularly that last hill to end the race. Who’s in? If not this weekend, pick another one, message me.*
As always it was a pleasure to lead, and thanks Argo & Voodoo & Loogie for the invitation.
SYITG ~ JRR Tolkien