Author Archive JetFuel

Anxiously Awaiting Puberty

15 PAX descended onto the finest elementary school (not named Elizabeth Lane) in South Charlotte for an all out assault on the body, mind, and soul. It was 0530 Thursday, and that can only mean one thing….. Hydra. Due to the presence of a FNG (welcome, Aaron Bock), YHC delivered a disclaimer sure to go down as one of the finest oratories in F3 history. Well, maybe not the finest, but nonetheless efficient and effective. Off we went into the gloom…

YHC did not disclose to the PAX the presence of a significant neck crick on said body, because one must play through the pain when the chips are down. Think Jordan, Game 7, Flu. Or Herschel Walker with broken ribs against Notre Dame in the ’81 Sugar Bowl. Or Paul Bryant playing against Tennessee with a broken leg in 1935 (Bama won that game). You simply do what needs to be done and to hell with the consequences. Laser focused, determined, and undeterred my mumble chatter, YHC was on a mission to dispense downpainment in biblical proportions. Here is what happened.

COP

Was it long? Yes. Was it unpleasant? Oh, yes. Were you a better man for completing it? Of course you were. You’re welcome.

Brief activity schedule: Burpees (5, 4, 3, 2, 1 at strategic times — Spackler did ZERO, naturally), Merkins (Ascending, Descending, Shoulder Tap), IW, Jump Squats (explosive), Plank Jacks

Mosey down Rea to Chadwyck Farms, take Left into ‘hood, congregate at cul-de-sac for Mary, which included a much needed Runner’s Lunge stretch. Continue mosey to bottom of Evelyn’s Hill as marked by the funky farmhouse on the left plus the 18 Gigawatt street lamp. Seriously, that lamp could land the Space Shuttle back in the day (as you know, NASA has retired the shuttle; sad, but true).

Triple Nickel on Evelyn’s Hill. Wide Arm Merkins at the bottom, Wide Sumo Squats at the top. Mary when finished.

Take Left on Edenbridge and mosey to the church rock pile. Curls, Thrusters, Tricep Extensions, all x10 IC. Hot lap around the church. Semi Gloss ran the opposite direction as everyone else — there’s always one. American Hammer, Rock Presses, Staggered Merkins. Return rock. Hot lap around the church and congregate at the benches under the ol’ oak tree on the OPES campus. At this point, Spackler decided to take a short cut thru the church bog and almost got stuck in the mud, looking like a deranged swamp thing as he re-engaged the PAX. Karma’s a bitch, son.

Benches: Derkins, Dips, Step-ups

Return to Launch. Done.

Moleskin aka Random Observations

FNG Aaron Bock is seriously fast. Sprockets brought him to the workout (well done, dance party boy), and the 2 of them promptly led the running portions, along with One Eye (the ageless wonder), Marge (actively planning a guys only trip which I hear is alcohol-free and thus fun-free), Queen (decked out in his Goodwill best), and Cheese Curd (training for Badwater or something). YHC was thankful that Pop Tart called out Spackler, Semi Gloss, and other PAX for their burpee refusal. Not surprising. Spackler looked like warmed over road kill after his 3 day Gough Cup bender coupled with a trip to Little Rock / Memphis. Ridiculously poor planning, sir. Lewinsky and his bright orange Clemson shirt kept YHC company on Evelyn’s Hill, until the final ascent when Danny Ford left YHC in the dust. Puddin’ was nonstop Chatty Cathy today. Was the workout that easy?? Clover, Bugeater, and Thunder Road punched the clock and went to work, per usual. Well done, gentlemen.

Due to his speed and last name of “Bock”, FNG was named Amber, despite 11th hour pleas to the contrary via text by PAX who shall remain nameless. “Jerk Store. I’m going with Jerk Store!!” – George Costanza. Amber seemingly made it thru the workout with minimal effort, keeping under the radar, until name-o-rama when his voice cracked. Classic. Like chum in the water to this group. Welcome and hope to see you again in the gloom.

Always an honor to lead my favorite AO. Thanks to Queen and Marge for handing me the keys to this well oiled machine aka Hydra.

Take-out by YHC. Again, oratorical excellence.

Light Rocks

12 PAX congregated in the misty, cold gloom of Calvary Church’s lower (or upper, or east, or west??) parking lot to strive for Rock Zero excellence under the watchful tutelage of YHC. Predictions of torrential rain and bitter (well, maybe not bitter, but we are living in the South, so anything sub 40 may be considered bitter) cold could not deter this PAX gaggle from launching forward into the puddle laden asphalt jungle (after a legally sound, awe inspiring disclaimer, of course). To the front courtyard we moseyed…

If you are reading this back blast and are in possession of Auburn level math skills, you will notice that 12 PAX launched, but alas 15 PAX are listed. How does one explain the difference? Mix the following ingredients to achieve PAX growth: a) Gummy Q at nearby AO, b) No advertising by Gummy for his own Q, c) No Weinke by Gummy for his own Q. Presto! An impromptu convergence between Rock Zero and Ascent! Glad to have you, brothers, and glad that Gummy, Baracus, and Ductwork experienced RZ glory as opposed to Ascent chaos. Plan the work, work the plan.

Back to the workout… Seriously, though, we all know what happened, so must we repeat it in this forum? Plus, it is late on Sunday night, and YHC is fairly whooped from running an unpaid Uber service for the non-driving little people that live in my house, and to think these same little people expect food and shelter in return! But I digress… For you technocrats and rule followers (YHC was once a proud member), following is a loose, succinct outline of the exquisitely planned workout: COP (merkin and squat laden), Median Ladder (ditto), Hot Box (ditto, but added a “power” step up – tremendous), Rock Pile near baseball field (wait, was this supposed to be a Light Day??), Rock Pile at front of church (lunges w/ a twist – PAX favorite – “bad idea” uttered Gummy), People’s Chair at Astroturf Courtyard, Hot Box (Weinke had expired with 20 minutes remaining), Rock Pile near baseball field, AYG to Launch. Mary sprinkled in throughout the workout for good measure. COT

YHC is believes in calling cadence for as many exercises as possible in order to keep the PAX engaged, minimize cheating, and eliminating Clemson Tiger mumble chatter. Because Lord knows YHC has been inundated with the latter since a certain game was played in early January. Although YHC showed grace in sharing the AO with ill prepared Gummy, nevertheless a “Go Tigers” was issued by said Gummy early in the workout. Point taken. Again. Got it. Message received. Crystal Clear. In the immortal words of Chet Donnelly (RIP Bill Paxton) from the John Hughes (RIP) classic “Weird Science”, “Don’t you know… how disrespectful that is??” And by the way, the Kandy Bar scene from “Weird Science” is pure cinematic gold. “Fats, man, let me tell you my story.” It is Oscar night, after all.

Kotters to Cottonmouth (torn hip flexor) and Rachel (torn labrum) for posting after battling tough injuries and extensive rehab. Rachel sustained his injury during a Spartan Race. Much respect. Cottonmouth sustained his injury while kicking a soccer ball. No words. Purell aka Usain Bolt, Rachel, Marge (another Clemson grad) and Sprockets (adequately dosed on pre-workout amphetamines; M is a Clemson grad) led the running portions. Gummy’s speed has increased significantly, or maybe YHC has slowed. Either way, strong work by the Weinke-less wonder. Ductwork (yes, Clemson, Good Lord…), Runstopper (black panther tights), Cottonmouth (you are NOT Messi) and Baracus (Stonehaven resident aka where YHC was raised) put in solid work. Marlin (respect, the silent assassin), BLC (respect, world class merkin form), Hoover (Trader Joe’s loves this guy), and Geraldo (Ruck Master) made it happen towards to rear of the PAX. Elsa continues to grapple with his Disney Princess name, but such is your cross to bear. Great work by the entire PAX today.

It is always an honor to Q this AO. F3 is a blessing to countless men across the USA, YHC included.

Announcements: Joe Davis Run, Beer Mile (Slack)

“Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!”

Because Japanese jet lag is a vicious mother, YHC set 17 alarms to make sure this week’s edition of Base Camp was not missed.  Sleep was choppy, broken, fitful which rendered YHC irritable and punch drunk albeit determined to lead the PAX thru a workout of moderately biblical proportions.  As YHC turned onto Strawberry from 51, a ghostly figure who eerily resembled Goonie was seen running away from the AO.  Did YHC miss the pre-run tweet, slack, or smoke signal?  Apparently, Site Q attendance is optional as Goonie was never spotted again until COT, where he mysteriously emerged from the gloom.  Nevertheless, here is what went down for the 11 PAX who chose to begin their week the right way.

Slow Mosey around parking lot.  High knees, Karaoke left and right, butt kickers all mixed in.  Any late arrivals?  No, sir.  Move on to the front SCMS parking lot.

COP

  • IW x10 IC (please refer to the Moleskin for additional description of this gem)
  • LSS x10 IC
  • Should Tap Merkins x10 IC (Q fail on the initial cadence — rookie mistake — blame the jet lag)
  • Stretching
  • Sumo Jump Squat x10 IC (shout out to my Japanese brethren)
  • Slow Ascending Merkins x10 IC
  • Stretching
  • MC x10 IC

Right on Strawberry, 7 Merkins at each road hump, to Rosecliff.  Mary to wait on the 6.

7’s on Rosecliff (YHC flew on a 777 from JFK to Tokyo and back, hence the 7 theme.  Original?  Hardly.  Effective?  Definitely.)

  • Bottom of Rosecliff — Plank Jacks
  • Top of Rosecliff — Wide Arm Merkins

Mary

Mosey back towards SCMS.  7 Merkins at each road hump.  Congregate at rock pile near the outside bathrooms.  Mary to wait on the 6.

Pick lifting rock.  Perform called exercise.  Drop rock (gently).  Run to the bleachers for 7 Derkins.  Return to your rock.  Rinse and repeat.

  • Round 1 — Bicep Curls x10 IC
  • Round 2 — Squat Thrust x10 IC
  • Round 3 — Overhead Press x10 IC

Mary

Mosey to basketball goals.  Old fashioned suicides.  Squat Hold.  Plank Hold.

Done.

Moleskinny

YHC believes it was the 2nd rep of Imperial Walkers that caused Area 51 legend Gummy some issues.  Evidently, the earth beneath Gummy’s feet suddenly opened up and almost swallowed him whole, as he crumbled to the ground in a Clemson heap.  Hence, the BB title (use your best Howard Cosell voice; for the younger PAX, YouTube it since you have no idea who YHC is talking about).  The PAX was relieved to hear Gummy chuckle, which subsequently unleashed uncontrollable laughter at his expense.  “Oh man, I just fell down.”  Why yes, yes you certainly did.  Concern for The Accountant was obviously high since NOT ONE PAX offered to help him up, YHC included.  Are we collectively missing the empathy gene?  Nah, we just all needed a good laugh.  Thank you, Gummy.  Mission Accomplished.

Solid group effort today.  This workout was in Spackler’s wheelhouse as his mumblechatter level was low and effort was high, consistently leading the PAX with Gummy, Hopper, and LaZBoy in tow.  YHC’s recent 2-week Japan trip was sans exercise, hence the need to rebuild soccer arms with “meat and potatoes” exercises.  Geraldo put down the ruck long enough to post and put in a sold effort.  The 7’s were tough because Rosecliff is no joke, but Snoopy and Damn Gina hung in there and got it done.  Thunder Road expertly performed Site Q duties by monitoring the PAX.  Well done.

Always a pleasure to Q at Base Camp.  Thanks to Goonie for the opportunity.

YHC has no clue who did the take out, but it must have been inspirational.

Yet another Tiger…..

12 PAX braved chilly temperatures Thursday morning for the latest edition of Area 51’s finest AO, aka Hydra.  Since a FNG was in the mix, YHC issued an emotional, thorough, and legally sound disclaimer.  Off into the gloom commenced the PAX for the downpainment…

Mosey to the OPES bus parking lot.  Time to get this party started…

COP

  • IW x20 IC
  • Merkins x10 IC
  • LSS x10 IC
  • Shoulder Tap Merkins x10 IC
  • Low Slow Lunge x10 IC ea. side
  • Ascending Merkin x10 IC
  • STRETCH interlude (at this point Puddin’ Pop seriously questioned his decision to go sans gloves)
  • MC’s x10 IC
  • Peter Parkers x10 IC
  • Parker Peters x10 IC
  • Burpees x5 OYO

YHC’s cadence was spectacular.  PAX’s count was, well, lacking.  “The leads are weak.”  Hops noticed the rather quiet count and rescued the PAX from slipping into a Spring Break nap by turning up the volume.  Thank you, brother.

Let’s mosey.   Left on Rea.  Right on Windyrush.  Stop at Windyrush / Windyrush intersection for Mary.  Right on Windyrush (confused yet?).  Stop at Windyrush / Edenbridge intersection for Mary.  Right on Edenbridge.  Meet by the benches under the ol’ oak tree.

  • Derkins x10 IC
  • Step Ups x10 ea. leg OYO, or
  • Jump Ups x10 OYO
  • Dips x15 IC
  • Lunges x10 OYO ea. leg

Mosey to the basketball blacktop, where Hops lamented, “Should have done COP right here.”  It would not be Hydra if rough pavement was not utilized.  Puddin’ is probably still picking asphalt pebbles and glass shards from his hands.

Partner Up, go to opposite baselines.

  • Bear Crawl to half court, 10 HS Merkins, Bear Crawl back to the baselines
  • Ditto for Crab Walk
  • Ditto for Burpee Broad Jumps (suck factor was HIGH at this point)
  • Squat Hold, going progressively lower during the 1 min. countdown
  • Plank Hold, going to 6″ 3x during the 1 min. countdown

Hot lap on the Windyrush / Edenbridge loop back to Launch.

Mary to wait on the 6.  The local female running group was congregating in the OPES parking lot after their run, and marveling at the PAX’s fine form under YHC’s stellar Qship.  That had to be it.  Or, maybe they were laughing at us.  Debatable.  Nevertheless, Cheese Curd’s M was part of the running gaggle and thus leading the cat calls.  Gut in, chest out, shoulders back…

To the baby track we go…

  • Lap 1 – Karaoke on straightaways, High Knees on Curves
  • Burpees x5 OYO
  • Lap 2 – Defensive shuffle on straightaways, Butt Kickers on Curves
  • Burpees x5 OYO

Done

Moleskin

Welcome to FNG Revlon (Todd Mitchum) who made sure the PAX knew he was a Clemson guy.  Naming rights to Scratch and Win, who knew A LOT about Mitchum deodarant and its rich history with deep TN roots.  Revlon bought Mitchum in an incredibly hostile corporate takeover (ok, I made up the hostile part) led by Mitt Romney (made that up, too).  Mascara and deodorant sticks were hurled across the boardroom table.  All is well now, thankfully.  Hope to see you again soon, Revlon, even though you have tipped the balance of power decidedly in Clemson’s favor for this AO.  SEC PAX unite to stem the tide of this orange wave.  Wait, did someone say “Tide”?  Ummm hmmmm……  YHC does not even have to say it.  Know it.  Live it.  Love it.

Always an honor to lead this workout.  Thanks to Puddin’ Pop for the strong takeout.

Announcements

“Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” on April 28th at 10:00 a.m., NODA Brewing Company.  Check out my Twitter feed for more details.  If you cannot make it, then please consider donating to this great cause and organization (Safe Alliance) who serve women victimized by domestic violence.

http://www.safealliance.org/event-pages/walk-a-mile-in-her-shoes/

 

Alexa, play “House of Pain”

5 of South Charlotte’s finest PAX gathered at SCMS for another edition of Area 51’s Death Valley.  YHC must confess to not knowing the origination of the AO name.  Perhaps the SCMS track is located in a bowl?  Perhaps the site launch was instituted by a Clemson or LSU grad?  YHC is somewhat familiar with the Clemson story behind “Death Valley” (someone stole a rock from that California hellhole and carried it back to the Upstate for some reason), but the LSU story escapes me.  Irregardless, the stadium in Baton Rouge is known as “Tuscaloosa-West” to us Bama brethren, so why those Cajuns call it “Death Valley” can remain a mystery.  RTR

Wholly inadequate disclaimer was issued to the veteran PAX.  Slow mosey to Gateway Academy parking lot.

COT

  • IW x20 IC
  • Merkins x10 IC
  • LSS x10 IC
  • Shoulder Tap Merkins x10 IC
  • Low Slow Lunge x10 ea. leg IC
  • Descending Merkin x10 IC
  • Stretching interlude
  • MC x10 IC
  • Peter Parker x10 IC
  • Parker Peter x10 IC

Mosey to Alexis neighborhood.  Mary at McPherson/Wyman intersection.  Mosey to each of the 4 cul-de-sacs; 10 Merkins ea. location.  Congregate at bottom of McCallum Court hill.

Triple Nickel — Squat Jacks at top, Plank Knee-ups at bottom.  Mary after completion.

Mary

Mosey towards SCMS.  Stop at Strawberry Ln / Woodfox.  Mosey down Woodfox to Rounding Run.  5 burpees OYO.  Return on Woodfox to Strawberry Ln.  5 burpees OYO.

Mosey to SCMS blacktop basketball goals.

  • Squat Hold, aka Defensive Position, for 1 min.
  • Plank Hold for 1 min.
  • Suicides

Finish with Mary.  COT.  Done.

Moleskin

Solid effort by the PAX today, as requests were made via Text Message for running.  With the most recent calfoidal perturbance in the rearview mirror, YHC was happy to oblige.  Smokey’s After Action Report clocked the mileage at 3.1, which is not a bad total considering the amount of Boot Camping that occurred.  Spackler heckled the Donut Run PAX, but they ignored him.  Yell louder next time.  Dollywood fell asleep in his vehicle prior to Launch due to sleep deprivation that accompanies a newborn in the house.  It gets better.  Dollywood also proclaimed “This workout sucks!” towards the end which YHC took as a badge of honor.  You’re welcome.  Smokey rocked the running portion per usual (#ageless), and Puddin’ grinded out the miles on a PF weakened foot.  Oddly enough, flatulence was at a minimum today.

YHC has been frequenting Death Valley for almost 2 years, yet this was YHC’s site VQ.  How does that happen??  It was a pleasure and honor to lead.  Thanks to Smokey for the takeout.

Announcements

PAX Madison currently in job transition.  Technical Sales.  Prayers requested.

Heads up for 6th Annual “Walk A Mile in Her Shoes” event on April 28th, hosted by Safe Alliance.  Great event, great organization.  More info to come regarding F3 involvement.

2 Legit 2 Quit

In the immortal words of Harry Doyle, the fictitious play-by-play announcer for the Cleveland Indians in “Major League”, “We got one god**mn hit?”  This classic phrase came to mind as YHC pulled into the OPES parking lot at 6:57 a.m. to find one other car parked.  Against his better judgement, Fugitive exited his ghetto sled to await instructions from YHC, as he looked longingly towards Rea Rd in the hopes other PAX would soon show.  They didn’t.  YHC prepared a workout, thus the pain commenced.

YHC committed several Q mistakes, a) No disclaimer, b) 7:02 start time, and c) asking Fugitive if he actually wanted to post.  No quarter asked, no quarter given.  Off we went into the gloom like a couple of crazed banditos…

COP

Mosey to the OPES bus parking lot a.k.a. The Meat Grinder (to your hands if you forget gloves).  Face up because circling up is not possible with only 2 PAX.

  • IW x10 IC
  • 5 Burpees OYO
  • LSS x10 IC
  • 4 Burpees OYO
  • Merkins x10 IC
  • 3 Burpees OYO
  • Sumo Squats x10 IC
  • 2 Burpees OYO
  • Shoulder Tap Merkins x10 IC
  • 1 Burpee OYO

Stretch

  • Mountain Climbers x10 IC

On to the running portion of the program.

Left on Rea, Right on Windyrush, Stop at Windyrush-Windyrush intersection for Mary.  Right on Windyrush.  Stop at Windyrush-Edenbridge intersection for Mary.  Right on Edenbridge.  Right on Rea.  Mosey to benches under the big oak tree.

  • Derkins x10 IC
  • Step-ups 10 ea. leg OYO
  • Dips x10 IC
  • Lunges x10 ea. leg OYO

Mosey to basketball court.

  • Hand Slap Merkins x10
  • Squat Hold – 1 min.
  • Plank Hold – 1 min.
  • Bear Crawl 1/2 court
  • Hand Slap Merkins x10
  • Crab Walk 1/2 court
  • Suicides
  • Defensive shuffle, full court, 1 ea. direction

Mosey to playground.

  • 5 supine pullups
  • 10 Merkins
  • 20 Squats
  • Rinse and Repeat

Mosey to Rea.  Left on Rea.  Right on Edenbridge.  Left on Windyrush.  Mary.  Left on Windyrush.  Left on Rea.

Return to Launch.

  • Staggered Arm Merkins x10 IC
  • Mary

Done

Moleskin

Major props to Fugitive for enduring the lonely beat down, especially considering he is 2 weeks removed from a bout with bronchitis.  I have always considered Fugitive a PAX of the sound judgement and character especially considering his 2.0 attends The University of Alabama.  That judgement is now in question after he failed to flee this edition of Ascent/Olympus.  Like Rodney Dangerfield in “Caddyshack,” “Oh, my arm.  It’s broken.”  To bookend the Q fails, there was no Takeout at the end.  Perhaps Fugitive trudged home and said a prayer for YHC and for the general state of F3.  One can only hope.

YHC takes solace in the fact that Bama is the reigning National Champion and that F3 does not issue nor revoke Q cards.  Redemption is just around the corner.

RTR

The 777 is one fine aircraft…

11 PAX made the right choice and posted for Area 51’s finest workout at Hydra.  The 40 degree temperature was deceiving, as several PAX would later regret their decisions to don head coverings after the subsequent beat down.  As Sleepy said towards the end of the workout, “My head is on fire.”  I will take that as a compliment.  You’re welcome.

This is how it went down after a brief, uninspired, and basically worthless disclaimer.

OPES possesses (2) of the most God-awful asphalt parking lots in all of Area 51.  Our school bond money at work, gentlemen.  We moseyed to the bus parking lot for the downpainment.

COP

  • IW x15 IC
  • Burpees x5 OYO
  • LSS w/ High (relatively speaking) Jumps x 10 IC
  • Burpees x4 OYO
  • Plyometric Jump Split Lunge x10 IC
  • Slow Descending Merkins x10 IC
  • Burpees x3 OYO
  • MC x 15 IC
  • Burpees x2 OYO
  • Peter Parkers x10 IC
  • Parker Peters x10 IC
  • Burpee x1 OYO

Mosey down Rea Rd. towards HT.  Left on Chadwyck Farms.  Plank-o-rama at the bottom of Chadwyck Farms and Windyrush.  Mosey on Windyrush to the base of Evelyn’s Hill.

The Main Event

Since YHC will soon travel to Japan on a wide body Boeing 777 in Economy class, YHC thought it fitting to exact pain and suffering on the PAX in the form of Triple 7’s.  If YHC can endure 14 hours from Houston to Tokyo in Economy, then surely the PAX can endure 20 minutes of Evelyn’s Hill.  After much debate and mumble chatter, the PAX finally realized that Triple 7’s meant Triple 7’s as detailed below.

  • Bottom of Evelyn’s Hill :: 7 wide stance squats
  • Top of Evelyn’s Hill :: 7 wide arm merkins
  • Repeat 7x

7-7-7.  Learn it, love it, live it.

After Evelyn’s Hill was conquered, PAX took a Left on Edenbridge, stopping at each “stop” light on the Right Hand side of the road for 5 Heels to Heaven.  YHC was delirious after Evelyn, thus confusing “street” with “stop.”  Wishful thinking, no doubt.  Congregate at the intersection of Edenbridge and Rea for more Plank-o-rama.  Brought in the 6 and headed to the OPES black top basketball court.

Planker’s Delight

A staple of any Jet Fuel Q (thank you Dumpster Fire, or should we now call you Senator Dumpster Fire??), this suck fest involves the PAX lined up in plank, shoulder-to-shoulder, each taking turns plank walking down the line, stopping at each PAX for a partner merkin.  Pure pain, pure misery, just like Tennessee football.

Basketball Medley

  • 15 Backboard touches.  Judging by the lack of vertical (except for Spackler; you can’t hide freakish athleticism), YHC should have renamed this segment “Touch the net, maybe.”
  • Hold Defensive Position aka Low Squat for 2 minutes.
  • Suicides

Mosey to launch.  What, no Mary?  Darn straight, no Mary.  Done.

Moleskin

Great work by a veteran PAX today. Spackler is preparing for a trip to Kiawah this weekend to support several PAX in their quest to run the 1/2 or full marathon.  The exact impetus for this trip remains a mystery.  No golf will be played due to British Open-esque weather, yet a golf cart will be involved.  No running for Semi Gloss, yet he is attending and riding on said golf cart at a running event.  YHC must confess to being initially confused by the conflicting signals, but the clouds were lifted when it was learned that Tito’s would be flowing.  Ahhhh, yes….the 13.1 mile booze cruise.  Enjoy.

Cheese Curd was crushing Eveleyn’s Hill until he learned the true meaning of Triple 777’s.  3 rounds of fury, then a struggle to survive.  See above for further explanation.  Hops is basking in WFU’s bowl bid to play the train wreck otherwise known as Texas A&M.  YHC attempted to dedicate the Basketball Medley portion to WFU basketball, but was quickly corrected that WFU is still playing football in December.  Duly noted, Demon Deacon.  Queen, Marge, Hops, Spackler, and Hopper sustained the crush for all 7 rounds.  Solid work.  #paceyourself.  I was worried that Sleepy would suffer a heat stroke in 40 degree weather, but he somehow pulled through like a trooper.  Lewinski and YHC waxed poetic on the virtues of Christmas light timers.  Stimulating mumble chatter.  Scratch n Win left YHC speechless with a flurry of Japanese in the COT.  Domo arigatou, Mr. Roboto.  Puddin’ Pop was up to his usual gastrointestinal fireworks.  Never a dull moment.

Always an honor to lead Area 51’s finest workout.  Props to Scratch n Win for the stellar takeout.

Announcements

A51 Christmas Party at Seaboard Friday night

Joe Davis Run

Not enough time for what???

11 PAX prepared their bodies for Daylight Savings Time by making the right choice and posting at Rock Zero.  Pleasantries were exchanged, an abbreviated disclaimer was issued to the veteran PAX, and we were off into the gloom.  Slow mosey to the Calvary courtyard (astroturf location; yes, YHC called it astroturf) for the downpainment.

COP

  • LSS x 16 IC
  • Shoulder Tap Merkins x 10 IC
  • LS Jump Lunges x 10 IC
  • LS Descending (or ascending, based on point of view) Merkins x 10 IC
  • Balance, Right Ankle on Left Knee, Hip Flexor Stretch, 10 count
  • Flap Jack, 10 count
  • MC’s x 10 IC
  • Peter Parkers x 10 IC
  • Parker Peters x 10 IC

Main Event

Mosey to Davie Park for the Pain Relay.  Partner up with like speed.  P1 runs to 1st light pole, performs Merkins AMRAP.  P2 runs to first light pole when P1 drops for Merkins.  When P2 reaches P1, P1 ceases Merkins and moseys to next light pole.  P2 commences Merkins AMRAP.  Upon reaching the next light pole, P1 performs Jump Squats AMRAP, P2 ceases Merkins and moseys to 2nd light pole.  Repeat until we reach the end near the dog park.  Mary.  Same sequence for return to park entrance.  Dolly and Burpees were the exercises of choice.  Mary at the end.

Mosey to the Rea Road library.

Grab a parking space line.

  • Plank Walk Merkins, 8 ea. side of line, 16 reps total OYO (16 was a common theme).
  • Speed Skater Lunges, 8 ea. side of line, 16 reps total
  • Burpees, lateral jump across line, 8 ea. side of line, 16 reps total
  • Standing broad jumps, 8 ea. side of line, 16 reps total

Mosey across Rea to the top of The North Face.  10 Merkins.  Run long lap to bottom of North Face.  Scale it.  10 Merkins at the top.  Rinse and repeat 3x.

Mosey to parking lot for Planker’s Delight.  Line up shoulder-to-shoulder in plank.  YHC took the lead.  Plank walk 180 degrees so to face next PAX.  Hand Slap Merkins.  Plank walk down the line, stopping at each PAX for HSM’s.  Return to plank after reaching the Anchor PAX.  Hold plank until all PAX have “slapped the line.”  Hopper was the Anchor PAX, and crushed his turn.  Impressive.

Mosey to light post for a variety of post-to-post sprints.  AYG, High Knees, Butt Kickers, Karaoke left, Karaoke right, Bear Crawl-Crab Walk-Lunge Walk.

Mosey to launch.  Finish with Burpees and Merkins.  Done.

Observations

The traffic in Davie Park was ridiculous for 7:15 a.m. on a Saturday, when it was basically dark outside and the Dog Park was closed.  For example, a beat-up minivan passed the PAX during our outbound leg of the Pain Relay, only to pass us again going the opposite direction towards the park entrance minutes later.  Suspicious.  This drew Cheese Curd’s attention as he theorized the minivan’s turnaround time was wholly inadequate for certain nefarious acts of passion to be performed in a secluded parking lot.  Gummy and YHC were speechless.  One can only postulate that Cheese Curd wears his Garmin EVERYWHERE and times EVERYTHING.

Planker’s Delight absolutely sucks.  YHC includes this brutality with each Q for no justifiable reason, other than to spread pain and suffering in Area 51.  You’re welcome.

Hopper was complaining after Shoulder Tap Merkins (exercise #2)  in the COP, but quickly buried that negativity and led the PAX for the remainder of the workout.  Solid effort.

Abba scaled the North Face like a Mongolian sherpa.  Unreal.

Marge and Nemo crushed the running portions, per usual.  Fast, real fast.

Marlin continues to spread the Hoka gospel to anyone who will listen.  #thicksole

Blades of Glory was shining during the Speed Skater Lunges.  YHC was worried that he would cross check the adjacent PAX.

Dingo and Boerewors did what they always do, silently crushing the workout.  South Africa in the house…

Gummy was well, Gummy.  Always in front, always delivering comic relief, always harassing the Q.  Well done, sir.

16 = Alabama Football National Titles (yes, Clemson, you still have the belt, for God’s sake)

YHC was silently confident about Bama’s chances this year, but after losing 1/2 of our defense to injury last night against LSU, well, not so much.

Always an honor to post at Rock Zero, and an even greater honor to Q.

RTR

 

2 out of 3 is BAD

After a Twitter firestorm yesterday, 14 PAX posted against their better judgement for this week’s Hydra humidity beat down courtesy of YHC.  Brief “don’t be stupid” disclaimer to the veteran PAX, and we were off.

COP (all exercises IC)

  • LSS x16 (odd qty?  I think not…stay tuned)
  • Shoulder Tap Merkin x10
  • Jump Split Lunge x10
  • MC x10
  • Peter Parker x10
  • Parker Peter x10
  • Good Morning Nashville x10

The Thang

Mosey to church rock pile.  Partner up.  Choose running rock.  P1 runs w/ rock (Haze’s FAVORITE): R on Rea, R on Windyrush.  P2 runs sans rock:  L on Rea, L on Edenbridge, L Windyrush.  P1 transfers rock to P2; continue same direction to complete the loop back to the rock pile.  Equal rock carrying distance covered by each PAX.  Genius.

Mosey to OPES bus parking lot aka CMS’ finest asphalt.  PAX who forgot gloves would soon be cursing YHC.  Grab a parking space line.  Starting from one side of the line, plank walk to the other side of the line, perform 2 merkins.  Rinse and repeat until 8 line crosses and hence 16 merkins were performed. 8 x 2 = 16 for you Volunteer fans incl. Frosty Paws

Mary at OPES basketball black top.  Dolly, Flutter ea. x16 IC, Slow Merkins x10 IC

Mosey to baseball field concession area.  New partners.  4-leg Starfish.  Leg 1: 5 pull-ups, Leg 2: 5 burpees, Leg 3: 10 Jump Squats, Leg 4: 10 Diamond Merkins.  Return to concession area after each leg for 5 plank knee-ups.

Mosey to OPES basketball black top:  Planker’s Delight.  PAX lines up abreast.  Assume plank position.  PAX #1 plank walks down the line facing the PAX, stopping for 1-merkin at each PAX, who also performs the merkin.  Rinse and repeat until all PAX have completed the Plank Walk of Pain.

Mosey to front football (or soccer?) field.  Mosey to each of the 4 corners in CCW fashion.  Corner #1: 5 Merkins.  Corner #2: 10 Jump Squats.  Corner #3: 15 Merkins.  Corner #4: 20 Jump Squats

Mosey to back wall for People’s Chair.  PAX #1 performs 10 Merkins (or more) in front of squatting PAX, then heads back to wall.  PAX #2 performs 10 Merkins….you get the drift.

Done.

Moleskin

My, my….where to begin?  In yesterday’s Twitter-sphere, Purple Haze specified the following Hydra Trifecta which should be avoided at all costs:  1) Hops’ tank top, 2) Iron Horse’s 2″ inseam running shorts, and 3) Shirtless Semi Gloss.  Item 1:  Rectified by Hops and M Hops; tank top has been destroyed  Items 2 and 3:  Most definitely NOT rectified.  Iron Horse rolled into the AO, parked, and unveiled more leg skin than you see at Uptown Whiskey River on a Saturday night.  The PAX recovered from IH’s initial shock and awe campaign; however, IH gained his sweet revenge during People’s Chair.  Regular merkins in front of the PAX?  Yeah, right… Try reverse plank jacks, and by reverse, I mean the PAX was facing the southbound end of northbound mule.  Most of the PAX quickly looked away in horror, but Purple Haze could not turn away, as if transfixed on a bad car crash.  I fear Haze has suffered irreparable mental and emotional damage.

Item 3 occurred at some point during the beat down, perhaps Pre-Planker’s Delight, perhaps afterwards.  The PAX was oddly at peace with the bare chested one.  Disturbing…  Next time, partner carries.  Oddly enough, it was around this time that I noticed my watch spontaneously set back 3 hours.  Coincidence, or was my Timex Non-GPS Ironman experiencing a disturbance in the F3 universe force due to the aforementioned 2/3 Trifecta convergence?  Mysterious…

Other random observations:

16 represents the number of football national titles won by my beloved Crimson Tide.  YHC is a proud graduate, ’94, ’96.  Frosty Paws (who named his son Knox in honor of Knoxville, TN) just loved this factoid.  I will be expecting that dinner invitation any day now, FP.  Good thing I did not choose 26 as the number of the day (represents the number of SEC titles won by….well, you know).  And before you start chirping, yes, Clemson PAX, I realize that you STILL have the belt, as I have been regularly reminded at every single post since January.

Planker’s Delight continues to suck out loud.  Brutal and merciless in dishing out pain .

Great to see Cheese Curd in the gloom after a long boot camp layoff due to an Achilles (?) injury.  Hope to see you again, brother.

Floor Slapper arrived pre-launch.  I checked my watch for malfunctions, but found none.

Solid work by all PAX today.  Request was made for more boot camp, less running, so I was happy to oblige.  Honored to lead this group of Area 51’s finest.

RTR

Announcements

Anvil – Death Valley convergence, Wed. 7/19, at Anvil.  Coffee and fellowship to follow.  Check Twitter for Details.  Hops will be delivering words of encouragement and/or fashion advice for IH during the fellowship time.

Emma’s Ladder

With CMS breaking for summer, YHC’s unpaid Uber service for the 2.0’s is also on sabbatical, thus freeing my Monday and Tuesday mornings for other endeavors.  I mentioned this fact to Drano many months ago at a Coffeeteria, who proceeded to schedule this Q before I could finish my swig of Dark Roast.  Did I have a choice?  No, no I did not.  Which brings us to today.

Friendly Disclaimer delivered, 0530 sharp.  No FNGs.  Away we go….. until the PAX is almost obliterated 7 steps into the warm-up Mosey by no fewer than 5 cars assaulting the SCMS parking lot at warp speed.  Hence, a warm-up lap of the parking lot ensued to allow the stragglers time to hide their keys.  #snoozebutton

COP (Gateway Academy parking lot); all exercises IC

20 IW, 15 Slow Merkins, 15 LSS, 10 MC, 10 Peter Parker, 10 Parker Peter, 10 Good Morning Nashvilles

Exit Gateway, Left on Strawberry, Cross 51, Go Left, Right on McPherson (Alexis ‘hood), Left on Wyman, Halt at intersection of Wyman and McCallum

Planker’s Medley:  15 Plank Jacks IC, Pain varietal poses, recover

The Thang

7’s on McCallum hill.  Diamond Merkins at TOP, Squat Jumps w/ Wide Sumo twist at BOTTOM (no idea what the F3 name for this exercise is, or if one even exists)

Mary when finished:  Dolly, Flutter, Heels to Heaven, all 15 IC

Mosey to SCMS track for Emma’s Ladder (my rising 9th grade daughter who ran track for SCMS this past season; gave me this workout which I deemed PAX worthy)

  • 400 meter AYG; 15 Wide Arm Merkins
  • 300 meter AYG, 100 m recovery yog:  15 Merkins
  • 200 meter AYG, 200 m recovery yog:  5 burpees

Slow mosey to launch.  Done.

Moleskin

If Middle School track athletes can do it, then surely the Base Camp PAX can!?!?!  I will tell Emma that all 14 PAX crushed her workout; barely breaking a sweat.  #thelieswetellourchildren  Great work by the PAX today at a solid AO.  Goonie was nervous that I was taking the PAX to uncharted territory, but I assured him that Alexis ‘hood possessed Base Camp worthy hills while only being  1/4 mile from SCMS.  Who knew?  You’re welcome.  Many thanks to Drano for inviting me to Q.  Was an honor to lead this group, and I hope to repeat Q in the future.

Announcements

Food Drive for Calvary Food Pantry.  Base Camp is donating cans of soup.  See Twitter for specifications (< 16 oz, no “cream of…”)  Calvary is a great partner for F3, so all donations are welcome.

SPEED FOR NEED: Goonie’s 2-yr F3 anniversary is fast approaching.  In celebration, he has thrown down a PAX challenge for monetary donations to SPEED FOR NEED (check Twitter for details).  For every dollar donated at 6/19 Base Camp, Goonie will perform 1 burpee (up to 100) at 6/26 Base Camp.  Not only will your monetary gift go to an incredible cause, you will also have the pleasure of inflicting pain and suffering on the Site co-Q.

Reminder from Goonie to post at other F3 locations while traveling.  He posted and Q’d in Orlando recently, site unseen.  Strong, brother.  Spread the word, PAX.

Thanks to Simba for the takeout.