Author Archive JetFuel

Papa Was a Rolling Stone

20 of Area 51’s finest PAX assembled on a clear and somewhat chilly Thursday morning in the Olde Providence ES staff parking lot to tackle the behemoth known as Hydra aka Where Legends are Made.  Singing her siren song, Immortality beckoned the PAX into the gloom (after a brief and wholly inadequate disclaimer was delivered by YHC to the veteran crew).

Mosey to the OPES Bus parking lot aka The Asphalt Jungle.

COP

  • LSS x17 IC
  • Slow Descending Merkins x10 IC
  • IW x17 IC
  • Peter Parker x10 IC
  • Parker Peter x10 IC
  • Hip Stretch i.e. Broga
  • Plank Jacks x10 IC (YHC’s shoulders were quivering at this point)

The 17 rep count represents the age of YHC’s middle daughter as of today, 27 February, in the Year of Our Lord 2020.  YHC is currently a Father to 4 teenage children which is mystifying, exhilarating, frustrating, and wallet emptying all rolled into one messy package called LIFE.  Are there times when YHC would rather ship his children to boarding schools in upper Montana?  Absolutely, yes.  Are there times when YHC is rendered an emotional, blubbering idiot incapable of speech because his children acted with tenderness and love towards one another and/or me?  Absolutely, yes.  Would YHC trade being a parent for all the Korean Kimchi in the world?  Absolutely, not.  Point being, especially for the younger PAX, it all goes by SO FAST.  Savor the journey.  “Life moves pretty fast.” – Ferris

Back to the epic Weinke…

Mosey to Church rock pile.  Partner up, grab 1 running rock per pair, and get ready for greatness.

Partner A w/ rock – runs Rea-Windyrush-Edinbridge loop CW

Partner B sans rock – runs same loop CCW

Transfer rocks at meeting point.  Continue the loop.

Mary

Flapjack loop

Mary  i.e. excuse to catch our collective breaths

Mosey to baseball fields.  Starfish to 4 ea. Center field fences.  17 ea. Merkins, Jump Squats, LBCs, and Plank Knee Ups.  16 SMC’s at the launch.

Mosey to rear of school for People’s Chair.  Overhead Press x17 IC.  BTW x10 secs.

Mosey to basketball court.  “He’s going to do those stupid basketball drills again…”  You damn right, son.  Bear Crawl, Reverse Crab Walk, and Burpee Broad Jumps baseline-to-baseline.

Fast Mosey to Rea Rd and back to Launch per Spackler’s request.

Mary

Done

 

Naked Moleskinny

The 2nd rock carrying loop caused significant wailing and gnashing of teeth.  Phrases such as, “Don’t do it!”, “Who does he think he is?”, and “Bad, bad, bad call Jet Fuel” were slung amidst the PAX directed at YHC.  Running with rocks is somewhat challenging and it had been years since YHC Q’d it; as a result, today was the day.  As Sargent Barnes says in “Platoon” to the severely wounded soldier, “Shut up and take the pain!!”  You are all better men for the double rock loop, simply admit it and thank me later.  Or better yet, thank Foghorn for sporting the man tights with tucked-in workout shirt.  Untucked be damned!  Foghorn was YHC’s partner for the rock loop extravaganza, and he absolutely crushed it in both directions, thus earning street cred to wear those camel toe tights.

Solid effort by all PAX today.  YHC was in survival mode, trying very hard to perform all exercises with laser-like intensity while not passing out.  Henceforth, YHC missed most of the banter and looks forward to the PAX filling in the blanks below.  And yes, YHC did hear the flatulence.  YHC reckons that 4 trips to Korea, 1 trip to Japan, and 1 trip to Maui since October have rendered my body clock inoperable until sometime in 2023 and wrecked my fitness level.  The only way to recapture physical fitness is to get out of bed, grind, repeat.  “The only way out is through.”

As a general comment, all of today’s PAX are exemplary citizens who pay taxes (mostly) and respect their elders (sometimes).  YHC typically has comments for each PAX, but the size of today’s crowd coupled with YHC’s mental banter block have eliminated individualized comments from this BB.  You are all awesome in your own special way, so don’t change a thing.  On the other hand, “You’re all worthless and weak.  Now, drop and give me 20.”  – vicious mother

Always an honor to lead the finest AO in Area 51.

JF

Announcements:  None suitable for print

Bloodied but Unbowed

10 PAX gathered in the moderate, overcast gloom at a large pink church located in South Charlotte for a Final 4 beatdown of biblical proportions.  We welcomed Fido to our merry band of punks, who was visiting from Down East, which means he is from the eastern half of NC to all of you non-North Carolinians.  Edenton, if memory serves.  Fido is a NCSU grad who is a practicing veterinarian (try spelling this word), in town for the holidays visiting his sister who lives off Carmel Road (not Car-Mel, as he incorrectly pronounced; that is a town in Cali once mayored by Dirty Harry himself – “You got to ask yourself one question:  Do I feel lucky?”).  An insufficient disclaimer was issued, YHC promised musical surprises in celebration of college football’s Final 4 notwithstanding Bama’s absence, and we moseyed into the vast asphalt jungle aka Calvary parking lot(s).

COP consisted of IW, Shoulder Tap Merkins, LSS, Staggered Arm Merkins, LS Jump Squat, and Runner’s Lunge stretch (bro-ga).  Good participation, strong cadence, solid start.

Moseyed on the Perimeter Rd stopping at each of the 4 speed humps for HR Merkins and Sumo Squats.  After Hump 4 (snicker), congregate at the bottom of the soccer field’s baby hill for Mary.

At this point, YHC pulled out the trusty iPhone and dialed up….a YouTube ad for Stitch Fix.  “Couldn’t sign up for the free trial of You Tube Premium, eh?”  – Gummy.  Full Disclaimer: YHC is a Stitch Fix customer, dutifully served by his Robo AI Stylist Kristi.  She just knows YHC….eerie, actually.  Anyhow, after the 5 sec ad, LSU’s fight song emanated from the speaker.  Mary until said fight song was over.  S-E-C!!  Voodoo was not there, so no Cajuns were present to enjoy it.

Triple Nickel – WA Merkins, Tuck Jumps.  YHC had no idea “Triple Nickel” was not ubiquitous in F3 Nation, so Hydra Site Q Gummy promptly explained its meaning to Fido.  Thank you kindly, sir.

Mosey to Courtyard and grab a spot on the Astro Turf.  Derkins, Leg Lifts, and something else.

Mosey to Rock Pile bordering 51.  Grab a lifting rock.  Let’s rock…  Curls, Tris, Presses, Thrusters, Squats.

Fight Song #2:   Boomer Sooner.  Hold plank on said lifting rock.  Since this annoying fight song is thankfully only 44 seconds long, a plank hold was not too painful.  Considering what LSU did to the Sooners Saturday afternoon, I would say this F3 musical interlude was the highlight of OU’s day.

Mosey to the parking lot with 8 medians for Median Suicides.  Alternate Diamond Merkins and Jump Squats.  Increase count by 2 ea. median.  3 burpees at starting point every round.  This was brutal, as mumble chatter quickly dissolved into “This is stupid” which is code for “This really hurts.”  Heard ya loud and clear, Semi.  Strong effort by every PAX on this one.  Trifusenik power was greatly reduced as even Semi pushed thru the pain.  At some point during this death march, YHC’s prodigious nose sprung a blood leak possibly caused by an overzealous snot rocket.  Unfazed, YHC pressed the advance and played thru the pain (actually, it did not hurt at all, but the sight of blood caused much angst amongst the PAX).  Rub some dirt on it, or in it.  Let’s go…

Fight Song #3:  Ohio State.  Sadly, Hopper was not in attendance to relish in O-H-I-O.  YHC was expecting him to dot the “I” if he would have been there.  YHC suspects Hopper and all OSU alums are still licking their wounds from the epic game Saturday night.  On the flip side, they could be sending boxes of spoiled cabbage aka Kimchi aka Korean garbage to the SEC official who called the fumble scoop 6 an incomplete pass.  Ouch.

Mosey to Hwy 51, take left, mosey to Calvary entrance, take left, congregate at the Hot Box.  Dips, Derkins, Step-Ups with and without flair, hot laps around garbage cans.

Mosey to launch point vicinity.  Time for the North Face.  2 laps.  Honestly, PAX was in survival mode by this point.  Hoover explained to YHC that 21 diamond merkins were a tad aggressive at the Median Suicides.  Point taken, lesson not learned.

Fight Song #4:  Clemson (ugh).  Marge and Gummy were ecstatic, elated, enthusiastic.  The ying to OSU’s yang, Clemson alums spent Sunday nursing joyous hangovers in celebration of their Final Four victory.  What a game.  It did this old SEC heart good to see some old school defense being played by both teams.  It was a shame that someone had to lose that one.

Done.

Announcements: New Year’s Eve Convergence in SOB land.  Check Twitter or Slack.

Forgot who took us out, but it was a theologically sound prayer that moved me to tears.  Or maybe that was YHC’s natural reaction after hearing the dadgum Tiger Rag again.  Are you listening, Coach Saban?

Thanks to Geraldo for handing over the keys.

Jet Fuel

Hydra Tuck Rule

PAX: Foghorn, Hopper (R), Marge, Sprockets (Co-Site Q), Amber, Pop Tart, Mr. Magoo (R), Ductwork, Chico (Kotters), Queen, Puddin Pop (@trifusenik), Spackler (@trifusenik), Semi Gloss (@trifusenik), Motorboat, Gummy (Co-Site Q), Deep Dish, Jet Fuel (QIC)

17 PAX gathered in a Charlotte Mecklenburg elementary school parking lot at 0530 hrs for a heaping spoonful of misery. For now, the school is named Olde Providence Elementary, but the sewing circle mumble chatter / scuttlebutt / rumor mill says that may change in the future to Trifusenik Senior High School. Can anyone hazard a guess as to the new school mascot? The Sloths has a nice ring to it. But YHC digresses. Now, to the business at hand of writing a tagless backblast utilizing the wonky WordPress application.

Introduction: weak — Disclaimer: weaker — Mosey to bus lot: glorious

COP

  • LSS x 10 IC
  • IW x 10 IC
  • Staggered arm merkins, x 5 IC each arm
  • One legged bent over toe touch hamstring killer, x 5 IC ea. leg
  • Plank Jack x 10 IC
  • Peter Parker x 10 IC

Main Event #1

Mosey to behind school. Count off 1’s and 2’s, which turns out to be difficult for this Clemson-heavy group. 1’s run to oak tree benches, do 10 jump ups. 2’s run to bike rack benches, do 10 derkins. Flap Jack. Repeat 3x. Mary while we wait on the 6.

Main Event #2

Mosey to Rea, take right. Right on Summerlin. Merkins at Wessynton. Mosey to end of Wessynton. Triple Nickel up Cornwallis Camp Drive.

  • Plank knee ups at Wessynton
  • Heels to Heaven at top of hill
  • Mary when finished

Mosey to end of Wessynton. Mary. Avoid rapidly approaching car. Mosey to launch.

Main Event #3

Partner up, which was executed flawlessly after the 1’s and 2’s debacle, thus restoring my faith in the PAX. Partners run to opposite ends of parking lot. Return to middle for alternating burpees, 5 ea. for 10 total between partners. Repeat until time. @trifusenik in FULL effect for this one.

Done.

Moleskin

Many a PAX have poked fun at YHC over the years for tucking in thy workout shirt, but today provided vindication in the form of plank knee ups. While the PAX wrestled with creeping shirts and bare midriffs, YHC calmly performed said exercises while demonstrating flawless form and maintaining his dignity. This is why Dick’s and Academy Sports pay YHC the big bucks for modeling their latest fashions. It’s hard work making a simple workout shirt look that good.

Today was heavy on running as evident by the 3.3 miles logged on a PAX’s Garmin mileage tracker doo hickey thing-a-majig. YHC possesses a Timex Indiglo Ironman digital watch with ZERO mileage tracking capabilities. Hell, YHC barely knows how to use the stopwatch on the darn thing. YHC would apologize for the lack of lifting heavy things, but the apology would be insincere. As Pop Tart queried, “are we ever going to work out today?” Ummm, no. Run baby run.

Spackler and Gummy crushed the bench-to-bench circuits, but the glory was short lived as the Trifusenik Tractor Beam sucked Spack back into its black hole of mediocrity. By the time we hit Triple Nickel, the Trifusenik reigned supreme as their numbers swelled. A chorus of “nos” was heard upon calling burpees at the end. Run to the light, Carianne. Mission Accomplished. YHC heard lots of mumble chatter today, but his laser focus compromised retention of the conversation topics. Anxiously awaiting the PAX to fill in the blanks on the After Action Report.

It is always an honor to Q the finest workout in Area 51. YHC had the theologically sound take-out.

Roll Tide (had to say it)

5-0

***News Flash***News Flash***News Flash***News Flash***

Oppressive humidity descends upon Area 51 like a wool blanket for the 1,000th day in a row!!! Will it ever end??? Story at 11:00…

Speaking of 11, this is the number of PAX who marshaled in the South Charlotte Middle School parking lot at zero dark thirty to receive a sweat laden beat down of the moderate variety. After a ridiculously inadequate disclaimer (which contained ZERO mention of safety), YHC led the PAX into the murky gloom.

COP — Gateway Academy Parking Lot

All exercises in cadence, 10 reps each — LSS, IW, Ascending Merkins, Lunges, Plank Jacks (or was that later?). Finished with a gluteus maximus stretch. For past Q’s, YHC’s Weinkes were thorough and written out on a yellow legal pad. 3 years into this F3 thing, YHC figured it was time to pare down the Weinke and “wing it”, so to speak. #veteran Forgive the fuzzy memory, as it has been 15 hours since the workout.

Mosey to Alexis ‘hood for the Main Event.

Home base: McPherson and Wyman tee intersection. Run to each of the 4 cul-de-sacs, one at a time, perform called exercise, return to home base, Mary. Merkins, Jump Squats, WA Merkins, Burpees (nice touch at the top of McCallum aka Hamburger Hill).

Mosey to 51 and Strawberry Lane. 10 ea. Descending Merkins. Continue mosey to SCMS rock pile and grab a lifting rock.

Curls, Shoulder Press, Tricep Extension – 10 IC. Run to baseball field bleachers, return to rocks. Thrusters – 10 IC. Return rocks.

Mosey to SCMS baseball field. Starting at home plate, run to RF foul pole. 5 burpees. Return to home plate. Run to LF foul pole. 5 burpees. Return to home plate. Speed trials around the bases. 1x each direction.

Note: YHC briefly recounted the story of his 2.0’s recent triumph at the Dixie Youth Majors World Series in Ruston, LA (12U age group). The final score in the championship game was North Carolina 5, Florida 0. Henceforth, exercises on the baseball field with “5” burpees and the subsequent title to this backblast. The poles were a nice touch as they reminded YHC of his glory days running poles at McClintock Junior HS as the baseball coach berated YHC for lacking speed. “I can measure your time from home to first with a sun dial.” One of YHC’s personal favorites.

Mosey to top of concrete stairs. Mary until YHC’s Timex Indigo no frills watch read 11:15. Done.

Moleskinny

Solid work by all PAX today. Mumble chatter was light, effort was strong, complaints were minimal. A goal of a YHC Q is to keep the PAX together as much as possible to slyly mix in ample 2nd F. Mission accomplished. Since no MASH PAX joined Hopper today, the ageless wonder happily joined the BC PAX for the festivities. Great to have you, brother. Proudly joining the Respect Ranks were Mr. Magoo and Snowflake, all 3 of whom got after it this morning.

Hannibal mentioned prior to launch that he reluctantly chose Base Camp over his regular Monday stop since YHC was on Q, which was no doubt in honor of our 1984 Queen City Doubles championship. Bring the trophy next time, Hannibal. The PAX will love it.

Geraldo is sneaky fast, and wants so badly for his Mets to win the Wild Card. Not so fast, my friend. Go Braves.

It was YHC’s first time posting with Man Tooth, who drove northward to join the fun. Pleasure meeting you, brother.

Clover has to be on Cloud 9 since his beloved Irish cracked the preseason Top 10. Aren’t you a Duke grad, too? Prepare yourself mentally for the Bama beatdown on Aug. 31st. #thisaintbasketball

Jello planted the shovel flag in the hard scrabble SCMS red clay. Thank you for the opportunity to lead.

Sardine was wholly unimpressed with the Weinke. “You get a ‘D’ for creativity.” Kind words indeed, but fairly accurate.

And lastly, Spackler runs pretty darn fast for someone who was swimming in Tito’s 8 hours prior. You just can’t hide raw athleticism.

It is always an honor to lead the finest PAX in F3.

Thanks to Snowflake for the takeout.

Announcements

Labor Day convergence at Cuthbertson High School in Union County for a new AO launch. Base Camp closed that day.

Anxiously Awaiting Puberty

15 PAX descended onto the finest elementary school (not named Elizabeth Lane) in South Charlotte for an all out assault on the body, mind, and soul. It was 0530 Thursday, and that can only mean one thing….. Hydra. Due to the presence of a FNG (welcome, Aaron Bock), YHC delivered a disclaimer sure to go down as one of the finest oratories in F3 history. Well, maybe not the finest, but nonetheless efficient and effective. Off we went into the gloom…

YHC did not disclose to the PAX the presence of a significant neck crick on said body, because one must play through the pain when the chips are down. Think Jordan, Game 7, Flu. Or Herschel Walker with broken ribs against Notre Dame in the ’81 Sugar Bowl. Or Paul Bryant playing against Tennessee with a broken leg in 1935 (Bama won that game). You simply do what needs to be done and to hell with the consequences. Laser focused, determined, and undeterred my mumble chatter, YHC was on a mission to dispense downpainment in biblical proportions. Here is what happened.

COP

Was it long? Yes. Was it unpleasant? Oh, yes. Were you a better man for completing it? Of course you were. You’re welcome.

Brief activity schedule: Burpees (5, 4, 3, 2, 1 at strategic times — Spackler did ZERO, naturally), Merkins (Ascending, Descending, Shoulder Tap), IW, Jump Squats (explosive), Plank Jacks

Mosey down Rea to Chadwyck Farms, take Left into ‘hood, congregate at cul-de-sac for Mary, which included a much needed Runner’s Lunge stretch. Continue mosey to bottom of Evelyn’s Hill as marked by the funky farmhouse on the left plus the 18 Gigawatt street lamp. Seriously, that lamp could land the Space Shuttle back in the day (as you know, NASA has retired the shuttle; sad, but true).

Triple Nickel on Evelyn’s Hill. Wide Arm Merkins at the bottom, Wide Sumo Squats at the top. Mary when finished.

Take Left on Edenbridge and mosey to the church rock pile. Curls, Thrusters, Tricep Extensions, all x10 IC. Hot lap around the church. Semi Gloss ran the opposite direction as everyone else — there’s always one. American Hammer, Rock Presses, Staggered Merkins. Return rock. Hot lap around the church and congregate at the benches under the ol’ oak tree on the OPES campus. At this point, Spackler decided to take a short cut thru the church bog and almost got stuck in the mud, looking like a deranged swamp thing as he re-engaged the PAX. Karma’s a bitch, son.

Benches: Derkins, Dips, Step-ups

Return to Launch. Done.

Moleskin aka Random Observations

FNG Aaron Bock is seriously fast. Sprockets brought him to the workout (well done, dance party boy), and the 2 of them promptly led the running portions, along with One Eye (the ageless wonder), Marge (actively planning a guys only trip which I hear is alcohol-free and thus fun-free), Queen (decked out in his Goodwill best), and Cheese Curd (training for Badwater or something). YHC was thankful that Pop Tart called out Spackler, Semi Gloss, and other PAX for their burpee refusal. Not surprising. Spackler looked like warmed over road kill after his 3 day Gough Cup bender coupled with a trip to Little Rock / Memphis. Ridiculously poor planning, sir. Lewinsky and his bright orange Clemson shirt kept YHC company on Evelyn’s Hill, until the final ascent when Danny Ford left YHC in the dust. Puddin’ was nonstop Chatty Cathy today. Was the workout that easy?? Clover, Bugeater, and Thunder Road punched the clock and went to work, per usual. Well done, gentlemen.

Due to his speed and last name of “Bock”, FNG was named Amber, despite 11th hour pleas to the contrary via text by PAX who shall remain nameless. “Jerk Store. I’m going with Jerk Store!!” – George Costanza. Amber seemingly made it thru the workout with minimal effort, keeping under the radar, until name-o-rama when his voice cracked. Classic. Like chum in the water to this group. Welcome and hope to see you again in the gloom.

Always an honor to lead my favorite AO. Thanks to Queen and Marge for handing me the keys to this well oiled machine aka Hydra.

Take-out by YHC. Again, oratorical excellence.

Light Rocks

12 PAX congregated in the misty, cold gloom of Calvary Church’s lower (or upper, or east, or west??) parking lot to strive for Rock Zero excellence under the watchful tutelage of YHC. Predictions of torrential rain and bitter (well, maybe not bitter, but we are living in the South, so anything sub 40 may be considered bitter) cold could not deter this PAX gaggle from launching forward into the puddle laden asphalt jungle (after a legally sound, awe inspiring disclaimer, of course). To the front courtyard we moseyed…

If you are reading this back blast and are in possession of Auburn level math skills, you will notice that 12 PAX launched, but alas 15 PAX are listed. How does one explain the difference? Mix the following ingredients to achieve PAX growth: a) Gummy Q at nearby AO, b) No advertising by Gummy for his own Q, c) No Weinke by Gummy for his own Q. Presto! An impromptu convergence between Rock Zero and Ascent! Glad to have you, brothers, and glad that Gummy, Baracus, and Ductwork experienced RZ glory as opposed to Ascent chaos. Plan the work, work the plan.

Back to the workout… Seriously, though, we all know what happened, so must we repeat it in this forum? Plus, it is late on Sunday night, and YHC is fairly whooped from running an unpaid Uber service for the non-driving little people that live in my house, and to think these same little people expect food and shelter in return! But I digress… For you technocrats and rule followers (YHC was once a proud member), following is a loose, succinct outline of the exquisitely planned workout: COP (merkin and squat laden), Median Ladder (ditto), Hot Box (ditto, but added a “power” step up – tremendous), Rock Pile near baseball field (wait, was this supposed to be a Light Day??), Rock Pile at front of church (lunges w/ a twist – PAX favorite – “bad idea” uttered Gummy), People’s Chair at Astroturf Courtyard, Hot Box (Weinke had expired with 20 minutes remaining), Rock Pile near baseball field, AYG to Launch. Mary sprinkled in throughout the workout for good measure. COT

YHC is believes in calling cadence for as many exercises as possible in order to keep the PAX engaged, minimize cheating, and eliminating Clemson Tiger mumble chatter. Because Lord knows YHC has been inundated with the latter since a certain game was played in early January. Although YHC showed grace in sharing the AO with ill prepared Gummy, nevertheless a “Go Tigers” was issued by said Gummy early in the workout. Point taken. Again. Got it. Message received. Crystal Clear. In the immortal words of Chet Donnelly (RIP Bill Paxton) from the John Hughes (RIP) classic “Weird Science”, “Don’t you know… how disrespectful that is??” And by the way, the Kandy Bar scene from “Weird Science” is pure cinematic gold. “Fats, man, let me tell you my story.” It is Oscar night, after all.

Kotters to Cottonmouth (torn hip flexor) and Rachel (torn labrum) for posting after battling tough injuries and extensive rehab. Rachel sustained his injury during a Spartan Race. Much respect. Cottonmouth sustained his injury while kicking a soccer ball. No words. Purell aka Usain Bolt, Rachel, Marge (another Clemson grad) and Sprockets (adequately dosed on pre-workout amphetamines; M is a Clemson grad) led the running portions. Gummy’s speed has increased significantly, or maybe YHC has slowed. Either way, strong work by the Weinke-less wonder. Ductwork (yes, Clemson, Good Lord…), Runstopper (black panther tights), Cottonmouth (you are NOT Messi) and Baracus (Stonehaven resident aka where YHC was raised) put in solid work. Marlin (respect, the silent assassin), BLC (respect, world class merkin form), Hoover (Trader Joe’s loves this guy), and Geraldo (Ruck Master) made it happen towards to rear of the PAX. Elsa continues to grapple with his Disney Princess name, but such is your cross to bear. Great work by the entire PAX today.

It is always an honor to Q this AO. F3 is a blessing to countless men across the USA, YHC included.

Announcements: Joe Davis Run, Beer Mile (Slack)

“Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!”

Because Japanese jet lag is a vicious mother, YHC set 17 alarms to make sure this week’s edition of Base Camp was not missed.  Sleep was choppy, broken, fitful which rendered YHC irritable and punch drunk albeit determined to lead the PAX thru a workout of moderately biblical proportions.  As YHC turned onto Strawberry from 51, a ghostly figure who eerily resembled Goonie was seen running away from the AO.  Did YHC miss the pre-run tweet, slack, or smoke signal?  Apparently, Site Q attendance is optional as Goonie was never spotted again until COT, where he mysteriously emerged from the gloom.  Nevertheless, here is what went down for the 11 PAX who chose to begin their week the right way.

Slow Mosey around parking lot.  High knees, Karaoke left and right, butt kickers all mixed in.  Any late arrivals?  No, sir.  Move on to the front SCMS parking lot.

COP

  • IW x10 IC (please refer to the Moleskin for additional description of this gem)
  • LSS x10 IC
  • Should Tap Merkins x10 IC (Q fail on the initial cadence — rookie mistake — blame the jet lag)
  • Stretching
  • Sumo Jump Squat x10 IC (shout out to my Japanese brethren)
  • Slow Ascending Merkins x10 IC
  • Stretching
  • MC x10 IC

Right on Strawberry, 7 Merkins at each road hump, to Rosecliff.  Mary to wait on the 6.

7’s on Rosecliff (YHC flew on a 777 from JFK to Tokyo and back, hence the 7 theme.  Original?  Hardly.  Effective?  Definitely.)

  • Bottom of Rosecliff — Plank Jacks
  • Top of Rosecliff — Wide Arm Merkins

Mary

Mosey back towards SCMS.  7 Merkins at each road hump.  Congregate at rock pile near the outside bathrooms.  Mary to wait on the 6.

Pick lifting rock.  Perform called exercise.  Drop rock (gently).  Run to the bleachers for 7 Derkins.  Return to your rock.  Rinse and repeat.

  • Round 1 — Bicep Curls x10 IC
  • Round 2 — Squat Thrust x10 IC
  • Round 3 — Overhead Press x10 IC

Mary

Mosey to basketball goals.  Old fashioned suicides.  Squat Hold.  Plank Hold.

Done.

Moleskinny

YHC believes it was the 2nd rep of Imperial Walkers that caused Area 51 legend Gummy some issues.  Evidently, the earth beneath Gummy’s feet suddenly opened up and almost swallowed him whole, as he crumbled to the ground in a Clemson heap.  Hence, the BB title (use your best Howard Cosell voice; for the younger PAX, YouTube it since you have no idea who YHC is talking about).  The PAX was relieved to hear Gummy chuckle, which subsequently unleashed uncontrollable laughter at his expense.  “Oh man, I just fell down.”  Why yes, yes you certainly did.  Concern for The Accountant was obviously high since NOT ONE PAX offered to help him up, YHC included.  Are we collectively missing the empathy gene?  Nah, we just all needed a good laugh.  Thank you, Gummy.  Mission Accomplished.

Solid group effort today.  This workout was in Spackler’s wheelhouse as his mumblechatter level was low and effort was high, consistently leading the PAX with Gummy, Hopper, and LaZBoy in tow.  YHC’s recent 2-week Japan trip was sans exercise, hence the need to rebuild soccer arms with “meat and potatoes” exercises.  Geraldo put down the ruck long enough to post and put in a sold effort.  The 7’s were tough because Rosecliff is no joke, but Snoopy and Damn Gina hung in there and got it done.  Thunder Road expertly performed Site Q duties by monitoring the PAX.  Well done.

Always a pleasure to Q at Base Camp.  Thanks to Goonie for the opportunity.

YHC has no clue who did the take out, but it must have been inspirational.

Yet another Tiger…..

12 PAX braved chilly temperatures Thursday morning for the latest edition of Area 51’s finest AO, aka Hydra.  Since a FNG was in the mix, YHC issued an emotional, thorough, and legally sound disclaimer.  Off into the gloom commenced the PAX for the downpainment…

Mosey to the OPES bus parking lot.  Time to get this party started…

COP

  • IW x20 IC
  • Merkins x10 IC
  • LSS x10 IC
  • Shoulder Tap Merkins x10 IC
  • Low Slow Lunge x10 IC ea. side
  • Ascending Merkin x10 IC
  • STRETCH interlude (at this point Puddin’ Pop seriously questioned his decision to go sans gloves)
  • MC’s x10 IC
  • Peter Parkers x10 IC
  • Parker Peters x10 IC
  • Burpees x5 OYO

YHC’s cadence was spectacular.  PAX’s count was, well, lacking.  “The leads are weak.”  Hops noticed the rather quiet count and rescued the PAX from slipping into a Spring Break nap by turning up the volume.  Thank you, brother.

Let’s mosey.   Left on Rea.  Right on Windyrush.  Stop at Windyrush / Windyrush intersection for Mary.  Right on Windyrush (confused yet?).  Stop at Windyrush / Edenbridge intersection for Mary.  Right on Edenbridge.  Meet by the benches under the ol’ oak tree.

  • Derkins x10 IC
  • Step Ups x10 ea. leg OYO, or
  • Jump Ups x10 OYO
  • Dips x15 IC
  • Lunges x10 OYO ea. leg

Mosey to the basketball blacktop, where Hops lamented, “Should have done COP right here.”  It would not be Hydra if rough pavement was not utilized.  Puddin’ is probably still picking asphalt pebbles and glass shards from his hands.

Partner Up, go to opposite baselines.

  • Bear Crawl to half court, 10 HS Merkins, Bear Crawl back to the baselines
  • Ditto for Crab Walk
  • Ditto for Burpee Broad Jumps (suck factor was HIGH at this point)
  • Squat Hold, going progressively lower during the 1 min. countdown
  • Plank Hold, going to 6″ 3x during the 1 min. countdown

Hot lap on the Windyrush / Edenbridge loop back to Launch.

Mary to wait on the 6.  The local female running group was congregating in the OPES parking lot after their run, and marveling at the PAX’s fine form under YHC’s stellar Qship.  That had to be it.  Or, maybe they were laughing at us.  Debatable.  Nevertheless, Cheese Curd’s M was part of the running gaggle and thus leading the cat calls.  Gut in, chest out, shoulders back…

To the baby track we go…

  • Lap 1 – Karaoke on straightaways, High Knees on Curves
  • Burpees x5 OYO
  • Lap 2 – Defensive shuffle on straightaways, Butt Kickers on Curves
  • Burpees x5 OYO

Done

Moleskin

Welcome to FNG Revlon (Todd Mitchum) who made sure the PAX knew he was a Clemson guy.  Naming rights to Scratch and Win, who knew A LOT about Mitchum deodarant and its rich history with deep TN roots.  Revlon bought Mitchum in an incredibly hostile corporate takeover (ok, I made up the hostile part) led by Mitt Romney (made that up, too).  Mascara and deodorant sticks were hurled across the boardroom table.  All is well now, thankfully.  Hope to see you again soon, Revlon, even though you have tipped the balance of power decidedly in Clemson’s favor for this AO.  SEC PAX unite to stem the tide of this orange wave.  Wait, did someone say “Tide”?  Ummm hmmmm……  YHC does not even have to say it.  Know it.  Live it.  Love it.

Always an honor to lead this workout.  Thanks to Puddin’ Pop for the strong takeout.

Announcements

“Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” on April 28th at 10:00 a.m., NODA Brewing Company.  Check out my Twitter feed for more details.  If you cannot make it, then please consider donating to this great cause and organization (Safe Alliance) who serve women victimized by domestic violence.

http://www.safealliance.org/event-pages/walk-a-mile-in-her-shoes/

 

Alexa, play “House of Pain”

5 of South Charlotte’s finest PAX gathered at SCMS for another edition of Area 51’s Death Valley.  YHC must confess to not knowing the origination of the AO name.  Perhaps the SCMS track is located in a bowl?  Perhaps the site launch was instituted by a Clemson or LSU grad?  YHC is somewhat familiar with the Clemson story behind “Death Valley” (someone stole a rock from that California hellhole and carried it back to the Upstate for some reason), but the LSU story escapes me.  Irregardless, the stadium in Baton Rouge is known as “Tuscaloosa-West” to us Bama brethren, so why those Cajuns call it “Death Valley” can remain a mystery.  RTR

Wholly inadequate disclaimer was issued to the veteran PAX.  Slow mosey to Gateway Academy parking lot.

COT

  • IW x20 IC
  • Merkins x10 IC
  • LSS x10 IC
  • Shoulder Tap Merkins x10 IC
  • Low Slow Lunge x10 ea. leg IC
  • Descending Merkin x10 IC
  • Stretching interlude
  • MC x10 IC
  • Peter Parker x10 IC
  • Parker Peter x10 IC

Mosey to Alexis neighborhood.  Mary at McPherson/Wyman intersection.  Mosey to each of the 4 cul-de-sacs; 10 Merkins ea. location.  Congregate at bottom of McCallum Court hill.

Triple Nickel — Squat Jacks at top, Plank Knee-ups at bottom.  Mary after completion.

Mary

Mosey towards SCMS.  Stop at Strawberry Ln / Woodfox.  Mosey down Woodfox to Rounding Run.  5 burpees OYO.  Return on Woodfox to Strawberry Ln.  5 burpees OYO.

Mosey to SCMS blacktop basketball goals.

  • Squat Hold, aka Defensive Position, for 1 min.
  • Plank Hold for 1 min.
  • Suicides

Finish with Mary.  COT.  Done.

Moleskin

Solid effort by the PAX today, as requests were made via Text Message for running.  With the most recent calfoidal perturbance in the rearview mirror, YHC was happy to oblige.  Smokey’s After Action Report clocked the mileage at 3.1, which is not a bad total considering the amount of Boot Camping that occurred.  Spackler heckled the Donut Run PAX, but they ignored him.  Yell louder next time.  Dollywood fell asleep in his vehicle prior to Launch due to sleep deprivation that accompanies a newborn in the house.  It gets better.  Dollywood also proclaimed “This workout sucks!” towards the end which YHC took as a badge of honor.  You’re welcome.  Smokey rocked the running portion per usual (#ageless), and Puddin’ grinded out the miles on a PF weakened foot.  Oddly enough, flatulence was at a minimum today.

YHC has been frequenting Death Valley for almost 2 years, yet this was YHC’s site VQ.  How does that happen??  It was a pleasure and honor to lead.  Thanks to Smokey for the takeout.

Announcements

PAX Madison currently in job transition.  Technical Sales.  Prayers requested.

Heads up for 6th Annual “Walk A Mile in Her Shoes” event on April 28th, hosted by Safe Alliance.  Great event, great organization.  More info to come regarding F3 involvement.

2 Legit 2 Quit

In the immortal words of Harry Doyle, the fictitious play-by-play announcer for the Cleveland Indians in “Major League”, “We got one god**mn hit?”  This classic phrase came to mind as YHC pulled into the OPES parking lot at 6:57 a.m. to find one other car parked.  Against his better judgement, Fugitive exited his ghetto sled to await instructions from YHC, as he looked longingly towards Rea Rd in the hopes other PAX would soon show.  They didn’t.  YHC prepared a workout, thus the pain commenced.

YHC committed several Q mistakes, a) No disclaimer, b) 7:02 start time, and c) asking Fugitive if he actually wanted to post.  No quarter asked, no quarter given.  Off we went into the gloom like a couple of crazed banditos…

COP

Mosey to the OPES bus parking lot a.k.a. The Meat Grinder (to your hands if you forget gloves).  Face up because circling up is not possible with only 2 PAX.

  • IW x10 IC
  • 5 Burpees OYO
  • LSS x10 IC
  • 4 Burpees OYO
  • Merkins x10 IC
  • 3 Burpees OYO
  • Sumo Squats x10 IC
  • 2 Burpees OYO
  • Shoulder Tap Merkins x10 IC
  • 1 Burpee OYO

Stretch

  • Mountain Climbers x10 IC

On to the running portion of the program.

Left on Rea, Right on Windyrush, Stop at Windyrush-Windyrush intersection for Mary.  Right on Windyrush.  Stop at Windyrush-Edenbridge intersection for Mary.  Right on Edenbridge.  Right on Rea.  Mosey to benches under the big oak tree.

  • Derkins x10 IC
  • Step-ups 10 ea. leg OYO
  • Dips x10 IC
  • Lunges x10 ea. leg OYO

Mosey to basketball court.

  • Hand Slap Merkins x10
  • Squat Hold – 1 min.
  • Plank Hold – 1 min.
  • Bear Crawl 1/2 court
  • Hand Slap Merkins x10
  • Crab Walk 1/2 court
  • Suicides
  • Defensive shuffle, full court, 1 ea. direction

Mosey to playground.

  • 5 supine pullups
  • 10 Merkins
  • 20 Squats
  • Rinse and Repeat

Mosey to Rea.  Left on Rea.  Right on Edenbridge.  Left on Windyrush.  Mary.  Left on Windyrush.  Left on Rea.

Return to Launch.

  • Staggered Arm Merkins x10 IC
  • Mary

Done

Moleskin

Major props to Fugitive for enduring the lonely beat down, especially considering he is 2 weeks removed from a bout with bronchitis.  I have always considered Fugitive a PAX of the sound judgement and character especially considering his 2.0 attends The University of Alabama.  That judgement is now in question after he failed to flee this edition of Ascent/Olympus.  Like Rodney Dangerfield in “Caddyshack,” “Oh, my arm.  It’s broken.”  To bookend the Q fails, there was no Takeout at the end.  Perhaps Fugitive trudged home and said a prayer for YHC and for the general state of F3.  One can only hope.

YHC takes solace in the fact that Bama is the reigning National Champion and that F3 does not issue nor revoke Q cards.  Redemption is just around the corner.

RTR