Author Archive Hoover

Ironpax Challenge: Week 0

5 men posted for week 0 of the Ironpax Challenge 2020.  This was the warmup week.  A practice run before the real thing.

 

Tha Thang:

Complete four rounds for time, in this order

50 squats

40 big-boi situps

30 merkins

20 Bonnie Blairs aka: sister mary catherines aka: jumping lunges (2 = 1) 

10 burpees 

run a 400

 

Here’s the total rep count for those of you still at a 2nd grade math level.

  • 200 squats (hello leg day)
  • 160 big boi situps (no more stomache for me this week)
  • 120 merkins (not a cure for soccer arms but a start)
  • 80 Bonnie Blairs (this old man he said no, he modified to keep his knees healthy. you’re welcome knees)
  • 40 burpees (achievable on it’s own in sets of 10, with all this other stuff, it’s the equalizer)
  • Run a mile (because no one cares what you can do fresh)

 

Moleskinny:

Solid work this AM by the pax in attendance.

The IPC is a definite CSAUP.  There are no two ways about it.  It’s a smoker on paper and watching the F3 Greenwood video on Monday at lunch, it dawned on YHC just how Completely Stupid this will be.  Of course, that’s just my .02 and you’re reading my backblast.  That said, YHC has stepped up to the challenge and looks forward to the change of pace from the usual running and resistance routines sprinkled in with a weekly bootcamp.

When YHC picked SCMS as the AO for the workout the assumption was, it would be quiet with no school in session.  WRONG.  This place was a party at 0530.  YHC had two thoughts when pulling into the parking lot, either FIA showed up to show off, fresh off the FIA-Olympics, OR we had pax coming out of the woodwork for the Ironpax Challenge.  Either way, YHC didn’t bring enough beer.

None of these things were true, as it was RFYL that was out in force on the roads and the track (and YHC didn’t bring any beer).  Not to be intimidated by neon hi-viz shirts, the pax gathered and headed to the track.  Posting up in the corner by the track entrance (and out of the way of the runners) YHC pulled up a custom Led Zeppelin playlist and started the clock.  The pax put in the work and the RFYLers were in awe of our awesome abilities (or that sweet playlist).

  • O Tannenbaum was as surprised as I was in the parking lot of SCMS.  Solid effort today and he was relieved to learn that the workout didn’t repeat each week.  Safe travels for work.
  • Orange Whip led the charge, lapped us, and got 5 rounds in (as opposed to the 4 the rest of us did).  Surprised?  No.  Jealous?  Heck, yeah.
  • Airwolf appeared out of nowhere this AM, maybe he was sleeping at the track of SCMS?  It was my first workout sharing the gloom with him  Always a pleasure to meet a fellow pax, and hope to see him next week.
  • Gerlado stayed out front (of YHC, at least) for all 4 rounds and had the pro-tips today.  Including only do the big boi situps on the grass because the track will give you road rash.  He offered to show us the scars to prove it but we all politely declined.

Thanks to Orange Whip for the takeout.

 

Announcements:

  • WAMRAP will also host Ironpax Challenge on Wednesdays unless they decide not to and don’t tell us.  See slack for location details
  • Can’t make a workout but still want to do the Ironpax Challenge?  It’s 100% OYO but always better with your fellow pax around
  • Don’t forget to submit your Ironpax Challenge time this week
  • Are you intrigued by all the mentions of the Ironpax Challenge but are afraid you’re too late?  You can still sign up for the Ironpax Challenge details and the link are below
  • YHC has the Q at Meathead tomorrow
  • Jet Fuel has the Q at Rock Zero on Saturday

Ironpax Challenge signup and score submission:  https://f3greenwood.com/ironpax-form/

Helpful tips:

  • Signup if you haven’t already, our region is Area 51
  • Signup, do the work, and submit your time
  • Due to the volume of pax participating across the Nation, the list is broken up into 4 groups of 1,000 alphabetically by region.  Area 51 is in the first group 0 – 1000.  Look for your F3 name followed by Area 51.  For example: Hoover from Area 51

If I missed anything else, sound off in the comments below.

#SYITG

Skunkworks 03/24/2020, a backblast

5 skunks gathered in a parking lot in south Charlotte at 0530.  Social distance was maintained, no disclaimer given.  YHC gave a few words of instruction, read through the prescribed weinke, started the playlist, and the pax put the work in.  Others joined in virtually from across South Charlotte, their efforts will be documented here.

The Thang:

25 two handed swings

10 2 handed Over-Head presses

10 goblet or sumo squats

Flutter presses: 10 chest presses with the bell while doing 20 total flutters. Each chest press = 1 right and 1 left flutter

Bear crawl (10 yards out and 10 yards back)

Suitcase carry with bell (20 yards out and 20 yards back) switch hands halfway and move As Fast As Possible without running

10 two handed forearm curls. grip the top of the bell handle and curl up. You feel it in the forearms

20 lawnmowers (10 each side, for an extra challenge rotate your wrist so it’s facing out)

20 lunges (bell optional depending on balance, etc. 10 each leg = 20 total)

50 one handed swings (alternate between each swing or 25 left and 25 right)

30 seconds of rest

Rinse and repeat up to 45 minutes.

 

Gathered skunks: 6 rounds

Alf:  (almost) 7 rounds

 

The playlist:

 

The Moleskine:

That was hard.  Can’t short change that this was a solid challenge and with the restrictions just put in place by Mecklenburg County, this might be the go to WOD for the foreseeable future.  But at least my forearms will be jacked.

Wash your hands, kids.  And read this inspiring quote from Teddy Roosevelt.  The critic will not be remembered, not even as a footnote, but the leader will always be remembered.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt, Citizenship in a Republic

“It’s never enough to be strong, be brave and smart.  Smart enough to be afraid, but brave enough to lead with your heart.” – Dan Yemin

Skunkworks: 03/24/020

Men,

YHC had the keys to Skunkworks tomorrow … and you know the drill by now.

Here is the planned workout for tomorrow.  This workout is designed to support OYO work at home or in small groups (with the proper precautions in place).  YHC will be at the Arbo ABC parking lot at 0530 running through this workout.  If anyone would like to stand 6 feet away and try it, I would welcome the company.  The planned playlist link is posted as well.  Enjoy.

Warm-up is OYO, but dedicate about 5 – 7 minutes to get the blood flowing.  Recommended:  Side Straddle Hops, quick run around the block/parking lot, 10 – 20 merkins, basic legs and shoulder rotation stretching (arm circles, alternating toe touches).  Do not over exert yourself just get the blood flowing and heart rate slightly elevated.  As always modify reps, be cognizant of your form, and stop if you feel something isn’t right.

The Thang:

25 two handed swings

10 2 handed Over-Head presses

10 goblet or sumo squats

Flutter presses:  10 chest presses with the bell while doing 20 total flutters. Each chest press = 1 right and 1 left flutter

10 yard bear crawl (5 yards out and 5 yards back)

20 yard suitcase carry with bell (10 yards out and 10 yards back) switch hands halfway and move As Fast As Possible without running

10 two handed forearm curls.  grip the top of the bell handle and curl up.  You’ll feel it in the forearms

20 lawnmowers (10 each side, for an extra challenge rotate your wrist so it’s facing out)

20 lunges (bell optional depending on balance, etc. 10 each leg = 20 total)

50 one handed swings (alternate between each swing or 25 left and 25 right)

30 seconds of rest  Rinse and repeat up to 45 minutes.

 

Report back with the number of rounds you completed and I’ll add it to the backblast.

Here’s your playlist:  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7cCiXVBJmW69HHV4Q6zbRO

Happy birthday, Chuck!

“Rules are made for people not willing to make up their own” – Chuck Yeager.

28 brave souls (including YHC) made the decision to weather the 65+ degree morning that was void of rain.  I mean really, this was a perfect spring morning.  We celebrated Chuck Yeager’s 97th birthday by not mentioning his birthday or performing any celebration.  Instead 28 men got down to work with the mumble-chatter.

 

The Thang:

Mosey behind the school and across the street to the church parking lot.  (apparently, I was too quick out of the gate as someone called from the back that the pax were being left behind.  Since when did this become a moderate workout?)

IW x 25

Mt Climbers x 20

Peter Parker x 20

Parker Peter x20

Sharon Towers x 20ish

Grab a lifting rock, set it to the side (lots of confusion here).  Remember where you put it.

Run left out of the church parking lot and go to the intersection of Edenbridge and Windyrush.  20 merkins and 20 squats OYO.  Run back to the church parking lot.  Grab your rock for 20 curls, 20 presses, 20 tricep extensions with the rock.  Rinse and repeat until the Q calls it quits.

Run back to the school parking lot.  Circle up for Mary, then call time and run back to the launch point.

 

Moleskine:

Surprised that we had 28.  When YHC first pulled in there was a small group milling around and talking among themselves, at about 90 seconds to the start 2 groups of pre-runners came in like a flash mob of teenagers in a department store.  Mumble-chatter ensued.

The plan for this workout was simple.  First, no burpees.  I don’t need to give the trifusenik any reason to lead by example.  Second, expect the worst and third K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple & Stupid.  So, I designed the weinke like a WAMRAP workout.  Do a simple circuit as many times as time allows.  The goal was to keep the pax in the same area but let them work at their own pace (fast guys out front, etc.).  There is no controlling a group this size or this chaotic.  It’s like being in charge of a room full of kindergartners, just keep the chaos contained and run the clock out.  Pretty sure everyone got at least three rounds in before time was called.  YHC’s total mileage was 2.86 for those keeping score.

Didn’t get to hear too much of the mumble chatter but Gummy started belly-aching after the third round that he’d had enough of the workout and my exquisite leadership skills.  To which I promptly replied that he recruited me for the Q, and if he wanted to remove me it would basically be a presidential impeachment.  It doesn’t actually mean anything, unless your physically removed from your post.  Since no one was willing (or able) to physically move me, I was acquitted by the pax in a “show” trial with no witnesses or evidence presented.  You can catch the highlights on the nightly news.

All joking aside, thanks to Gummy and Sprockets for the chance to lead.  It wasn’t the unruly mob they market to the masses.  And for for my second Hydra appearance and first Hydra Q, I think we did alright.

But it is nice to hold the unofficial Hydra record for the most pax at a workout (according to Sprockets).

 

Announcements:

Beer mile April 24th.  See the Slack channel for trash talk.

Runstopper has the Hydra Q next week.

YHC had the take-out.

It’s not a Sprockets workout, how bad can it be …

A lucky 13 were in attendance today, 12 of whom expected Sprockets to Q this week’s episode of Rock Zero.  Unfortunately, Sprokcets was ill and had to cancel.  So being the responsible site-Q (and the one in town this particular weekend) YHC stepped in to fill the void.

Thang, Moleskine:

At 20:15 on Friday, YHC got a text from Sprockets that he had a fever that wouldn’t quit and was not confident in delivering a beat down to the pax.  Since Geraldo was DR, your favorite site-Q, YHC, stepped up.

2 pre-runners, Flipper and YHC, at 0631, grabbed about 2.5 miles.  Pax started to trickle in about 4 minutes to start time, O Tannenbaum arrived at 0702 and we could officially start.  Disclaimer was given (hopefully Mermaid approved), commented on by McGee, and we were off.

YHC had a loose idea of what to do, the execution wasn’t ironed out but these things tend to work themselves out, right?  Run to the back entrance of Rea (with the hill), hook a right and run along the back parking lot to the first speed bump.  1 merkin, 1 jump squat, 1 merkin.  Second speed bump, 2 of each in that order.  Third speed bump, 3 of each, fourth speed bump, 4 of each.  Run to the adjacent parking lot for a COP.  20 IW (IC), 30 second plank, 10 merkins, 20 low slow squats.  Run to the grassy knoll.  Partner up, P1 lunge walks along the columns to the light post, P2 bear crawls the outer edge of the grassy knoll.  Meet at the other end and switch.  Do this twice.

** Full disclosure:  YHC was not able to complete the full Bear Crawl, Spackler was witness and followed my example with his first official refusenik of the workout.**

Mosey to the Rock Pile, grab a medium to high rep rock and walk it to the parking lot.  Line up abreast for 15 shoulder presses, 15 curls, 15 squats, and 15 good mornings.  Run about 1/3 of the parking lot to the first entrance and come back.  Do this 4 times, reversing the exercise order for the last two sets.  Return rocks and mosey to the hot box.  People’s chair start to a Jack Webb, 4:1, air presses and burpees.  At 5 stop (that was terrible).  Go in the hot box and do 20 dips, 10 step-ups on each leg, then run to the last trash can and back.  Do this 3 times.  Run back through the parking lot to the street with the trees.  At each tree 5 CCDs, 10 Sister Mary Catherine’s, mosey to the next parking lot for some Mary.  After this YHC’s weinke was spent and we still had about 12 minutes on the clock.  Time to improvise.

McGee had the unfortunate sense to call for more burpees during the Mary.  So YHC obliged.  Moseyed the pax down to some road cones that were currently not in use.  Grabbed 4.  Mr Magoo (YHC’s silent partner, seriously, I don’t think he got a word in but kept putting the work in non-stop #t-claps) placed one about 25 yards out and the other 3 were placed 5 parking spaces apart leading back to the pax.  Burpee suicides.  Run to the first parking cone and do 3 burpees, run back.  Second parking cone etc. 3 burpees each time.  Round two was reverse order with (last cone first) 3 merkins and 3 squats.  Return the parking cones and mosey to the cars.  2 gassers up and down the parking lot got us to 0800.

Mumble chatter was strong this AM.  Maybe YHC wasn’t at 100% and the on-the-fly weinke was light, or maybe there was alot of modifying and refusniking but the range of topics covered was interesting and plentiful.  Clemson’s loss (Marge wasn’t too depressed, unlike how those whiny Alabama snowflakes get when they lose and Nick Saban throws a hissy fit), Insurance sales (it all started when Alf called out my current / his former employer and someone had a story about … you know what it’s not that interesting but Spackler and McGee wouldn’t shut up about it), and then the royal family (Fun fact: 12 out of 13 pax prefer talking about the royal family over playing Flipper’s shirts and skins freeze tag).

Other notable items:

  • Ductwork pulled up in the smallest Chevy vehicle in the 2019 line-up.  He now has a vehicle that matches his height and doesn’t need a step stool.  New year, new car I guess.
  • Floorslapper was early (by 90 seconds).
  • Mailman was safety first today, rocking the reflective and bright colors.  He’s still glad he didn’t need to use that highly reflective color scheme when we didn’t go to 5 Knolls like the pax asked.
  • Welcome Red Stripe, our FNG EH’d by Witch Doctor.  He’s a bartender, we need to find this place.  It’s a personal policy of YHC to always investigate any bar where I know the bar tender.
  • Witch Doctor is heading to Chimbote this weekend.  Prayers for him and the others for safe travels.  He may also need suitcases to bring donations.  Please reach out to him on Twitter or Slack if you have any you can donate.
  • Pax all appreciated YHC’s impression of Sprockets, but I learned that I can’t run on my knees very well.  Alf was highly offended.  #nocobains

No announcements, YHC had the take-out.

Total mileage was close to 3.  Great work today, men.  Whatever else I missed, sound off in the comments below.

Titles? We don’t need no stinking titles …

12 (not yet ill-tempered) men showed for this week’s episode of Joust.  YHC pulled into the parking lot around 0520 at Charlotte Christian expecting a small number of pax to show (4 – 6 including YHC).  To YHCs surprise we got over double digits without the promise of ultimate frisbee.  Ductwork, the dependable site-Q, rolled in at 05:29:30 making sure our 6 was covered.  YHC gave a disclaimer that started with “I’m not a professional”, mentioned that these were all “suggested exercises”, and to “modify as needed” for those coming off IR, and ended with something along the lines of “this is going to be rough”.  Mr. Brady started having second thoughts after YHC said that but by then we were off.

 

The Thang:

Run parallel to Sardis to the end of the parking lot.  Hold a 20 second plank.  Round the island at 70% and get to the crosswalk in the parking lot then crank it up to 100% down to the stop sign.  Spackler was calling for the IW’s and YHC happened to have them on the weinke.  20 IW IC (and a demonstration to ensure good form).  Mosey around to the pick-up/drop-off lane for suicides.  Run to first island, 5 merkins back to start, run to the second island for 5 merkins and back to the start, rinse and repeat to the end of the parking lot (dependable site-Q Ductwork pointed out it looked way easier on Google Maps).

After everyone was sufficiently gassed, mosey to the well-lit walkway that runs to the football field.  Lunge walk 10 strides (each leg), Bear Crawl 10 strides (each leg), then mosey down to the end of the walkway.

Grab some wall for the People’s Chair.  Jack Webb air presses/burpees, 4:1 to 5 burpees and back down to 1.  This was a real crowd pleaser.

Walk to the 4 squares.  Split into 2 groups, get to a corner or a spot where the lines intersect, plank up and do 1 merkin, shuffle in plank to the right, 2 merkins, keep shuffling and at each intersection or corner up the merkin count by one until you’ve visited all corners/intersections.  Again, a real crowd pleaser.

Mosey over to the playground, partner up.  P1 does pull-ups and P2 does dips, sets of 5 to 10 each with a goal of a combined 100 dips and 50 pull-ups.

Mosey down to the field and line up on the end zone.  Bear crawl to the 10, crab walk to the 20, bear crawl back to the 10, crab walk back to the end zone.  Lunge to the 10, Sprint to the 30, lunge walk to the 20, sprint back to the end zone.  Gassers, to the 20 and back, 40 and back, opposite 40 and back, opposite 20 and back, then opposite endzone and back.  Mosey back to a parking lot (not the parking lot), pick up Smokey’s hat, and do a modified version of the suicides but this time with squats.  Mosey back to the cars, endex.

 

Moleskinny of trifusenick proportions:  Great work out there today, men.  2.5 miles by my Strava.  YHC was very surprised to see 12 at Joust.  Maybe it was the tease of no ultimate frisbee, maybe not.  Whatever the reason, YHC is thankful for the participation and the opportunity to lead.  Welcome back Baracus to a bootcamp #Cotters after IR.  Not sure if he modified but he was looking strong this morning.  2/3 of the trifusenik was in attendance and the mumble-chatter was there too.  Thankfully Semi-Gloss kept his shirt on and Spackler was out front for most of the runs, but #refuseniked the burpees.  Marge was a surprise as I thought he was Mermaid’s backup for the Centurion Q, happy to have you, brother.  Some new faces for me today with Heartbreaker and Slumdog.  Mr. Brady thought that was a terrible workout, it’s on tape.

Sound off in the comments below with additional shenanigans.

No announcements.

Thanks to Sanka for the take-out.

No fanfare, no standing around, just get the work done …

2 pax met in the gloom on the final Thursday for Meathead.  One arrived 0528 and the other at 0531.  These veterans of kettlebells required no disclaimer, mumble-chatter about the lack of attendance ensued, and then it was go time.  With a late start and a full weinke the need for speed set in and both Soul Glo and YHC crushed this workout to wrap up at 0616.

The Thang:

25 2 handed swings
Merkin x 20
25 2 handed swings
Stretch/Prying Squat
Halos 5 each direction

3 sets 12 or AMRAP up to 12:
Goblet Squat and Good Morning then 25 High pull each side
Overhead Press (two handed) and up-right row then 20 one handed swings each side
Kettlebell chest press and Lawnmower (twelve each side) then 20 one handed swings each side

20 tricep ext, 5 curls
15 tricep ext, 10 curls
10 tricep ext, 15 curls
5 tricep ext, 20 curls

Leuganis x 10
Plank hold 30 seconds
Slow Freddie mercury
Heels to heaven
endex

 

Moleskine:

This was billed as the last time Meathead would meat on a Thursday at Elizabeth Lane Elementary.  No fanfare, no standing around and remembering the good ol’ days, just pax getting the work in.  Exactly how it should be done.  Hope everyone enjoyed their holidays and happy new year to all the pax across F3.

Starting Monday, January 6th expect to see a strength workout down at McAlpine lead by Mighty Mite and Ickey Shuffle, Wednesdays you can find Meathead at Calvary at 0530 with Anvil, and on Saturdays Olympus returns to Elizabeth Lane Elementary for 0630 start.  #SYITG

The Rock Zero Holiday Spectacular

19 pax gathered for what was billed as the holiday event of the season for Area 51.  Site Qs Geraldo and YHC teamed up for a beatdown to remember to send pax off with plenty of holiday cheer.  With the shovel flag planted, and a disclaimer-ish thing delivered the festivities started at approximately 0701 just in time for O’Tannenbaum to pull into the parking lot.

Pre-Runners:  Purell and Tiger Rag (Mc Rib) claimed 6.5 miles before 0700.  Not sure of the pace but both looked “warmed up” not anything like the rest of us should look after a 6 mile “warm-up”.

The Thang:  Geraldo has procured a number of sandbags that were connected carabiners in three groups.  These were the reindeer to lead the way to the hot box.  Pax teamed up and followed the sandbags as they were shuffled across the parking lot.  The usual chaos ensued as pax switched off sandbags but everyone (and everything) successfully arrived together.  30 seconds of the peoples chair and then AYG to the light post.  Circle up for the COP and mumble-chatter (YHC was NOT wearing skinny jeans, they’re ruck pants *insert the cat meme here*), after COP pax went into the hot box for 8 days of hannukah.  YHC delivered a not so inspiring tale of the 8 nights of hannukah then got to the fun part.

On the first night of hannukah, 1 – burpee
On the second night of hannukah, 2 – jump squats and 1 – burpee
On the third night of hannukah, 3 – merkins, 2 – jump squats and 1 – burpee
This pattern repeats through the remaining nights with the exercises listed below.

4 – step-ups (each leg)
5 – Dips
6 – CCDs
7 – WWII Situps
8 – Mountain climbers (each leg)

Pax ran down the ramp to the last trashcan and back to the hot box between each night of hannukah.  There was much cheer and hardy praises of YHC and his great idea.

After the 8 nights of Hannukah, Geraldo took over with a partner sandbag murph.  Grab a partner, grab a sandbag, and do the following:

P1 runs to a lightpost and back while P2 does exercises.  Flapjack.  100 presses, 200 rows, 300 squats.  Next was some more time in peoples chair with sandbag passes down to the end and air presses while you wait.

Pax then set off on a CMIYC back to the launch point where a partner Mary set for the last 8 minutes.  P1 does Mary while P2 runs down to the end of the parking lot and back.  Kudos to Voodoo for actually doing all of the running sets.

In the end the Site Qs gave some time back to the pax and called it at 0759.

Holiday Moleskine:  Great group to have at Calvary, Flipper was back from marathon training and clown-carred it with Udder from Steele Creek.  Bounce and Gummy kept our mumble chatter going as usual.  Hammer looked like he was training for a fight with Rocky Balboa in his gray champion hoodie.  Ductwork was the silent assassin crushing the workout without much complaining, while Jet Fuel was still in mourning over Alabama’s lack of championship performance this year.  Sprockets was his usual cheerful self but that may be due to the long winter vacation he has planned in the great midwestern states.  Boerwors brought the ever warm reindeer outfit and regretted it after 5 minutes of sweating.  Witch Doctor showed up in his son’s new (to him) pick-up truck that looked like something pulled out of “This Redneck Life” complete with mud and bumper stickers of questionable content.  YHC is pretty sure Lorax showed up to keep us in line with Clavary’s rules of the parking lot.  McGee might just be back for a permanent Saturday rotation, hopefully the M will keep his hall pass current for Saturday mornings.  Anything YHC missed, sound off in the comments below.

Announcements:  Holiday party is next year, sign-ups for BRR are going to happen in 6 months, and there will be a new strength and gear workout at McAlpine Elementary starting on January 6th.

Thanks to Flipper for the take-out.

You had one job …

YHC has lived in Charlotte for 4 years. During that time blood has thinned, there has been a noticeable decrease in consumption of good italian food, and a noticeable increase in barbeque consumption. Not sure about the correlation here but YHC can say this, 40 degrees is now officially cold. That was this morning’s edition of the KB program, week 6, day 1, leg day.

You know who never skips leg day? Batman … and 6 pax.

Only 6 pax showed up this morning, maybe one of them is batman, maybe not. YHC was expecting to see a parking lot full of buff dudes pre-running, meat-running, slamming brotein shakes, and generally unable to lower their arms. Instead there were 5 reliable pax and one fat Thor (YHC will let you guess who fat Thor is). Wild theories flew across the parking lot about the missing pax including one twerking in his Ms shoes at a wedding that sparked an old football injury. #nojudgement The Wells Fargo pax must have been DR all weekend and taking advantage of the floating holiday, or they converged with MASH/Base Camp/DMZ. They were afraid of getting swole.

Thangs: You should know the program by now. plank hold x 2 for 30 seconds, hollow-body plank x 2 for 30 seconds, glute-bridge x 2 for 30 seconds. Then pyramid the squats up to 6 or 8. Pretty sure most pax went for 8. After 5 minutes of snatches, pretty sure all of these pax are secret service material by now. then back to the static holds. Endex at 0615 on the money.

Cold Moleskinny: Yeah, it was cold. Until set 3 or 4 of squats and then the blood was flowing and the top layer was shed.

Header was flexing his shoulder muscles today trying to imitate Stone Cold. Don’t worry, a few more bowls of Wheaties and you’ll get there, little one.

Chin Music protested when Purell turned off the Taylor Swift. As usual, he and Header were paired up. Maybe this is our Batman and Robin?

Piggly brought the smorgasbord of iron today and made friendly with Chin Music and Header. Someone finally broke up the dynamic duo.

Stone Cold has been keeping his bells in his freezer. Consuming all that high quality protein between sets has left the freezer empty. So fill it with some iron, the M will never notice. But your partner will when lifting ewith no gloves on. By contrast, Purell snuggles with his in bed. that’s how they keep that warm glow by which we can all huddle around to stay warm.

Purell had the Q, the playlist, the speaker, and the stopwatch, but not the backblast. He claims he doesn’t have Horsehead skills to pull it off. News flash: none of us have the loose screws, marbles, and small critters living in our heads that Horsehead can boast.

YHC pulled out the barbell and plates. No one was interested in partnering up. It’s all good, got 3 sets of deadlifts in and some curls-for-the-girls while waiting.

Thanks to Header for taking us out.

Announcements:

There is a holiday party, you might still be able to beg Mighty Mite into a sign-up.

Thursday is shoulder day, come out and tell Header how good his shoulders look.

A bunch of pax are running a bunch of races around town. Get out and support them.

Thank a veteran today. In fact thank a veteran everyday.

The Trifecta of Terrible, a Tour Through 5 Knolls

13 pax (including the Q) for an unlucky roll of the dice at Rock Zero. YHC had pre-slacked and pre-tweeted an 0600 Pyramid of Meat starter, but no one showed up to partake in the swole-ness. Actually, no one really showed up until 0645, when Boererwors decided to he’d had enough rugby at 0400. It should also be noted that he stayed up to watch the World Series the night before, a true American right there. At 0654 Dingo came in with the M4 revved up like he was in high school showing off to his bro’s from down under. Hopper and Skipper showed up shortly after. At 6:58:30 a caravan of uncoordinated pax came in hot to the parking lot including Geraldo, Hops, Bernanke, Lazy Boy, Man Tooth, and possibly Deep Dish. The call is still pending from the judges after the replay.

By 0700 YHC was delivering his thorough and well rehearsed disclaimer when Hops decided to get out of his truck, stretch like a cat waking up from a nap in the sun, and mosey over to see what the fuss was all about. Shortly after Deep Dish pops out of his car, hides his keys in Hop’s truck, and decided to join the party. At this point we were 11 pax, and YHC decided it was time to mosey.

Pax made it about 50 feet when O’Tannenbaum comes screaming in on 2 wheels, almost flattens Skipper, jumps out of his car and sheepishly grins before joining the group. Now we’re 12. Begin the mosey around the parking lot, the loooooong way around. At one point someone in the back called out the tradition of a COP. We’ll get there before 0800 fellas.

The Thang:

After a little mosey through the parking lot, stop at each speed bump and perform merkins and squats, totaling 5 reps. 1 squat and 4 merkins, 2 and 3, 3 and 2, you get the pattern. After the last speed bump head to the grassy knoll for your traditional COP. By now we were all warmed up.

IW x 20. Peter Parker and Parker Peter x 10 each.  5 burpees. Yeah, 5 bupees deal with it.  Shoulder taps x 10.  YHC then took the time to explain that we were going off campus, as YHC did promise some miles. Safety first, so we’ll go down Rea against the flow of traffic on the sidewalk and stick together. At one point on Rea (before 5 Knolls) YHC called a stop and had all pax plank up. As we did so someone called out that Donkey Kong had shown up late, figured out where we were, and had caught up to us. T-claps for that, brother.

Run down Rea, and as we approached 5 Knolls Geraldo prayed “please don;t turn left down 5 Knolls” over and over again. YHC heard his prayers and kept going … and made a left onto Summer Gate Dr. Pax groaned.  Run to the intersection with 5 Knolls and partner up. At this point all were sweating profusely and the pax were regretting their decision to show up. Awesome sauce.

P1 runs to end of the cul-de-sac and back.  P2 does exercise.  Total count:  100 merkins, 100 lunges (each leg). YHC figured this would be a quiet Saturday morning in the Knolls, but apparently the neighborhood decided otherwise. Twice we had large groups of runners stroll past us going down 5 Knolls and of the 4 houses in the cul-de-sac, 3 had cars pull out while we were on the street. I guess next time I should phone ahead to confirm when the neighbors wake up.

Run down 5 Knolls to Whisperwood Pl.  P1 runs to end of the cul-de-sac and back, P2 does exercise.  100 heels to heaven.  100 LBCs.

Run up the terrible hill to MacDara Hill Ct. One pax said something about BRR training being over, brother BRR training is never over.  Pax were feeling smoked after that one. P1 runs to end of the cul-de-sac and back, P2 does exercise.  100 CDDs and 100 squats. There might have been a mutiny at some point, but then the pax realized they would have to mosey back to Calvary anyway so might as well see it through. Hops and Geraldo got a little behind on their squats, something about Hops doing squat for two days the day before. So the pax chipped in at the end to help them get the final 32 squats in. #LeaveNoManBehind

Run back to Calvary, go back to the cars. Circle up for some quick Mary and the introduction of a legit F3 Carpex exercise called the “Have a Nice Day” where the pax just lay on the ground and stare at the sky (yes this is a legit Carpex exercise) and then time was called.

Mole-skinny:

Strong effort out there by the pax today. We logged 4 miles over hilly terrain. Miles promised, miles delivered, and all were better for it. This was an easy workout to plan but a hard one to execute. Thanks to the pax for not calling a total mutiny after we headed off campus. Good mumble-chatter along the way and some encouragement from the Run for Your Life groups that passed us as we were laying in the street trying not to get run over.

On a personal note, it was nice to be out front leading. Often I drift towards the back to watch the 6 on these off-campus trips. According to Strava I ran at an 8:11 pace for the workout, and you know Strava is never wrong.

OK, YHC is 4 Simpler Times Pilsners deep ($4.00 a six pack at Trader Joes) and it’s time for the afternoon nap.

SYITG

Announcements:

Holiday Party. Hops is going to open with “I touch myself”, we’re all hoping it’s just a song.

Coat Drive. Get those old coats out of your closet and get them to Chelms or a local workout.

There might have been others but YHC can’t recall, please post i the comments section.

Thanks to Lazy-Boy for the takeout.