March 19th, 2021 will be one year since the C-19er lockdowns kicked off. It started with CA leading the way for every governor to collectively s#!t their pants over Covid, cancelling every activity except breathing, and giving the president license to get on national TV with a bunch of “doctors” and “scientists” to provide a step-by-step process for injecting lysol wipes. Meanwhile, we couldn’t find lysol wipes or toilet paper, every adult started day drinking on zoom calls with our coworkers, and every parent was slapped in the face with the cold reality that they were all licensed NC educators and didn’t even know it. YHC’s application to the NC teacher’s union is still pending, and no teacher’s paycheck yet but YHC is hopeful.
Oh, and by the way your crazy Uncle Donnie sent you some money to support your drinking habits (don’t ask where he got the money from) and Grandpa Joe’s gonna send you another check soon. #BestGrandpaEver
As the one-year anniversary of this epic cluster-f*#k approaches, let’s celebrate the only way we know how. By having an in-person CSAUP, with day drinking for the participants, at a location funded by your tax dollars where children would congregate in non-Covid times.
Men, I give you the Beer Mile for Covid. The rules are simple, drink beer (12 ozs @ >= 5% ABV) and run (1/4 mile at a time). Do that 4 times, puking optional, and you’ll be forever memorialized as a Beer Mile participant in a backblast somewhere. Or you won’t be, it all depends on someone writing said backblast.
This is a tradition that we cherish so much it was cancelled in 2020 faster than a liberal with a twitter account and a hashtag cancels a celebrity. Such a beloved event that despite Gummy’s multiple attempts to resuscitate it, no one has taken the bait. So YHC proposes we do this on 3/19, one year after TO THE DAY that this crap wasn’t just reported on CNN and denied by Fox News, but started to impact all of us.
Here’s the official rules: https://www.beermile.com/rules
Join the #beermile channel on slack for more updates. Spread the word at workouts and keep training, because let’s admit it. No one stopped training on March 19th, 2020.
7 men dared to swing iron in the rain at this week’s episode of Skunkworks. YHC didn’t know what was in the forecast only that rain was a remote possibility which lead Stone Cold to text YHC in the AM and request relocation to the covered pavilion. YHC was happy to oblige.
With a weak disclaimer delivered to a bunch of veterans, we headed to the covered area and got down to work.
25 2 handed swings, Merkin X 10, Peter Parker X 10, Prying Squat, 25 2 handed swings
Start in the pavilion: 50 swings, any combination, pax choice, run to the cemetery and back
Cumulative total of 50 cleans and snatches, minimum 10 snatches, run to the cemetery and back
10 Goblet squats, 10 Lanwmowers per side, 10 OH presses, waiter’s carry bell across the street switch sides and head back
rinse, repeat for 3 rounds
Mary until the end
The pax stayed together on the multiple rounds. We got three rounds of swings and cleans/snatches, which put the pax at 200 swings for the workout (including the warmup swings). It was a solid crew of veterans today and no one was deterred by the light rain, but no one complained about relocating to the covered pavilion.
Stone Cold and Horsehead have been pushing for running AND kettlebells and not running WITH kettlebells as the new(ish) site q’s for Skunkworks. I appreciate the need to shift and urge pax to follow suit.
Thanks to both of them for the opportunity to lead.
Blood-drive in February, see Mighty Mite for details
Thanks to Smokey for the take-out.
10 men gathered in the gloom on the SCMS parking at 0530 today for this week’s edition of Base Camp. YHC is not a regular but there seemed to be a solid turnout of regulars in attendance. Oh yeah, and Floorslapper was on time. So there’s that.
Base Camp is billed as a moderate workout, but that doesn’t mean easy it means make it scalable. The pax should be able to do the suggested work, modifying if needed, and pax looking to go the extra mile have the option to do so. YHC has been Q’ing most workouts as AMRAP, and this fits the bill perfectly for Base Camp. So with a plan in place, YHC rolled in to Q at 0530.
Disclaimer was given, and we were off.
1 burpee, SSH X 20
1 burpee, IW X 20
Merkin X 5
Peter Parker X 5
Parker Peter X 5
Merkin X 5
1 burpee, Low Slow Squat x 10, 1 burpee
AMRAP #1: 15 Mins
Grab a Rock – medium size, AMRAP
Soccer Arm Superset (OH press, curls, triceps) X 10
Run to closest basketball hoop, 10 merkins and 10 jump squats, run back
AMRAP #2: 15 Mins
5 Rock Thrusters
Rock overhead, carry to light pole, 5 rock overhead squats
Rock overhead, carry to second basketball hoop, 5 rock overhead/front lunges (per side)
Rock overhead, walk back to start
Mary to run out the clock
Strong group today putting in work. During the second AMRAP round, I heard at least one pax mention that their legs were feeling the work. YHC’s shoulders were burning at the end from the OH rock carries.
Thanks to Thunder Road for hanging with YHC during the first round of AMRAP. YHC was a little slow in starting the first round, getting the timer set and gloves on. Appreciate having someone to grind through the work with. It was cold, but as usual a solid group provides plenty of accountability and after the first round I’m pretty sure everyone had warmed up.
Additional thanks to the site-q’s Thunder Road and Mr Magoo. Appreciate the opportunity to lead.
Keep ‘Bout Time’s son, Jennings, in your prayers.
YHC has the keys to Skunkworks tomorrow
There is a blood drive in February and Mighty Mite is on Q. Sign-up and donate.
YHC had the takeout
5 pax got their last 250 (plus an extra 50) swings in for 2020 at this week’s episode of Meathead. It was a late start and an early finish, but always over promise and under-deliver.
The Thang & the moleskine
YHC, in an epic fit of brilliance/boredom at 1618 on a Tuesday, was deciding where to post on Wednesday. With holiday hours in full swing for some AOs, YHC prodded Voodoo for an 0630 start. Give the pax an opportunity to sleep in or double-down with an 0530 Anvil or 0515 SACS post and then pack on some muscle at Meathead. The trade-off? YHC had to Q it. So, with that thought in mind and delivering an HC to a Meathead site Q / A51 nantan. Bad decisions were made, a weinke was drafted, the alarm clock was set, and the rest is memorialized below for your bathroom reading.
YHC posted at SACS at 0515. Hate to interrupt the Cheese Curd / Wild Turkey weekly lovefest but with Geraldo Q’ing at Anvil, it was YHC’s responsibility to make sure these two behaved themselves. You can read Wild Turkey’s backblast for those gory details. After SACS, YHC headed down 51 to Calvary passing two runners in the gloom, likely Voodoo and Flipper (speaking of a lovefest). YHC pulled into the Calvary parking lot with 10 minutes to go, played the parking lot version of musical chairs and didn’t get out of the car until 0630. YHC thinks we officially kicked off around 0632 where a weak disclaimer was delivered along with an explanation of the activities du-jour.
Warmup – simple stuff to limber up not trying to break a sweat here
15 rounds, 90 seconds each with a 5 second break between: 20 swings, 5 merkins, 5 squats, 5 OH presses, and 5 lawnmowers (per side). This was quickly amended to alternating rounds of merkins/squats and OH presses/lawnmowers. YHC had grand designs that just didn’t translate very well with timing.
60 seconds of carries with 15 seconds rest in between sets. (Farmers carries, rack carries, and waiter’s carries both sides for all three)
60 second plank/hollow body hold/glute bridge for the finisher
Finished at 0712, where YHC suggested the pax do burpees for 3 minutes. No one did a burpee so we put a bow on it and considered it a wrap.
The playlist today was a mix of 90’s and 2000’s grunge-ish rock. YHC was snooping for the greatest hits of 2020 but after a long battle with Amazon Music there was just nothing there worth really listening too. One notable exception is a new track from Bush. If you’re into that genre of music, Flowers on a Grave is a pretty decent track I pulled from 2020.
Much like the year 2020, couldn’t find too much that was really worth re-hashing.
On that note, we all have bitched about 2020 and the suck-fest it’s been. It’s easy to put on a brave face for a day or two, but as the days dragged to weeks, and weeks to months, and now looking down the barrel of a year of this “new normal” the cliched hashtag, #TheStruggleIsReal takes on a new meaning.
But looking back and taking stock YHC had the constant support of the pax across this region and other regions out there constantly pushing ourselves. Trying to find new ways to better ourselves in the gloom. YHC appreciates all the offline conversations, those few extra minutes in the parking lot after a workout where pax laugh off some of stress, the CSAUPs, and the encouragement through our community. There are others who have faced far worse than YHC this year and for some 2021 won’t get much better, so YHC’s complaints pale in comparison. At the end of the day, it’s mostly gratitude YHC feels because without F3 there’s no telling how much worse this year would have been for YHC.
Thank you, men, for all that you do and continue to do.
11 men braved some chillier temperatures and circled up in the Arbo parking lot for this week’s episode of Fast Twitch. YHC had two bad ideas pulling into the parking lot, mentioned this with a weak disclaimer and dropped the first bad idea on the pax. It went something like this.
Hoover: “I’ve got two bad ideas for you. The first is the Raintree 10K.”
All pax: … *sigh*
Hoover: “The other is to run the Coburn half-pipe, twice.”
Random pax: … *sigh* “Where is that?” “We have to run over past Strawberry Ln.” “I think I left the iron on.”
And like that, we were off. YHC, as per the usual, kicked on some tunes and the pax followed. Some days YHC feels like the pied-piper. Mosey through the mean backstreets of Raintree, rounding run, woodfox, strawberry ln, eventually hitting Rosecliff and getting to Coburn. The pax all pulled up at Coburn and instructions were relayed.
Random pax: “So just down to the stop sign and back 2 times?”
Hoover: “No. All the way to the end and back, twice.”
Random pax: “That’s not the half-pipe”
Hoover: … *calculating lame excuse as to why we’ll do this anyway*
Random pax: “So we’re not stopping at Bevington?”
Hoover: “Try for two times out and back, faster guys go for three.”
Somehow YHC convinced the pax to get moving.
Towards the end of the second round, YHC was coming in near the 6, Gerber decided to go for a third round, followed by Turkey Leg, Alf, and Airwolf. Somehow all three aborted or just pulled up for the 6 and we did some mary in the middle of the road waiting for Gerber to come back. When he didn’t show up quickly, we decided to leave him to his fate. No pax wants to be on the wild streets of Coburn for too long. Alone or in a group that’s a dangerous place to be. Alf volunteered to stay behind and wait for him. Brave, sir. Very brave.
This is a tough area for a solo pax, with random deer, and barking dogs. God help the man who runs into a “Karen” who can unleash the kraken just for startling them in the gloom. I’m sure NextDoor is full of these horror stories. And speaking of horror stories, there’s no easy place to stop for a code brown. Now that’s a NextDoor horror story that will keep YHC up at night.
Not to keep you in suspense, but yes, Gerber made it back to the pax and proceeded to outrun us all to the launch point.
The whole route is not what one would call easy. Plenty of hills as Alf kept reminding YHC every time YHC was passed. There was a vague threat from YHC about tying a rope to the fast guys to pull YHC along. Vague but empty. YHC was all out of rope.
The backblast title comes from Rock Thrill. YHC was jamming out to Bobby Womack’s, “Across 110th St” when Rock Thrill recognized the song. We talked briefly about tunes and he mentioned the backblast should be a reference/homage to the title track of that movie, the same song played at the end of Jackie Brown.
Solid group of pax today. No surprise on who was out front Gerber, Mr. “I ran leg 33 of BRR backwards”, Turkey Leg, Alf, and Airwolf. Cheese Curd and Ductwork were running neck and neck for the morning, route be damned. PurpleHaze, Rock Thrill, Astro, and Retread held down the 6 and kept YHC honest with pacing.
A solid 10K or more if you opted for the extra distance, no PRs were shattered but Retread is now the Local Legend of Firefox. It’s on Strava so you know it’s true.
Back in the parking lot, there were no announcements but Gerber pulled this odd contraption from the back of his car, mounted a phone to it and told us to go stand in front of the ABC store. 10 seconds later, your Fast Twitch Christmas card is ready and being printed off at Walmart as you read this. Get Benny your address and tell him Uncle Hoover sent ya. Maybe yu’ll get one in the mail, maybe not.
BTW, Purple Haze could totally be a Mini-Hoover if he would let his beard grow out. YHC can see the grey in there fighting to get out.
7 men gathered in the InVue parking lot this AM to kick off their Monday to sling heavy iron and get in plenty of 0.0. Turkey week is upon us and some pax are looking to gather their credit now in advance of Thursday. With the playlist set, courtesy of a suggestion by Mighty Mite, pax put the work in. It was a meat and potatoes workout and as Midriff would later point out it was a metal on metal kind of day.
10 rounds with alternating exercises
10 squats (goblet or sumo)
5 lawnmowers per side or 5 renegade rows per side
We moved on to cook drills across the parking lot, then grabbed an extra 50 swings to kill some time, 10 cleans per side, 5 OH presses per side, and then wrapped up with a minute each of our static hold trio.
YHC’s weinke was a simple but effective routine. TBH, YHC wasn’t feeling overly creative and with the last Q at Meathead still fresh in some pax’s minds it was best to go with the basics and not push the envelope. Monday is also a time to reflect on (trash-talk) the weekend’s televised sporting events. So K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid) IMHO.
YHC had the take-out.
Now here it is, your moment of zen …
Guns N Roses: Welcome to the Jungle
Airbourne: Back in the Game
Quiet Riot: Bang Your Head
Alice Cooper: Poison
Twisted Sister: I Wanna Rock
Warrant: Cherry Pie
Motley Crue: Kickstart my Heart
Anthrax: I’m the Man
Clutch: Ghoul Wrangler
Motorhead: Breaking the Law
Blood for Blood: Ace of Spades (Motorhead cover)
Ugly Kid Joe: Everything About You
… and Wednesday is almost here.
Imagine a world where concepts like logic and reason hold sway. Then remember that it’s 2020 and this week has a forecasted hurricane, ends with Halloween, a blue moon (not the beer), and a time change. And next week election day is on a Tuesday, and the results will be broadcast all over God’s green Earth on a, yep you guessed it … Wednesday.
Then imagine that no matter what happened on any given Monday or Wednesday you find your body driven by muscle memory alone, posting and repeating the same workout again, and again, and again. 250 swings minimum, over and over again. Surely, there must be moments of joy, you say. Of course. It’s not all bad.
Sometimes you get called Shirley.
Nobody likes Wednesday. Sure we all claim Monday is the worst, but really it’s Wednesday. The halfway point of the week. Day three of the hostage situation called “work”. In the folk rhyme Solomon Grundy, he got married on a “a grey and grisly Wednesday”. Take Wednesday Addams, bet you never saw her smile and why should she? “Wednesday’s child is full of woe”. Even Winnie the Pooh went so far as to characterize terrible weather as “Winds-Day”.
Again you say, “But Shirley, there must be moments of joy.” Of course, there is. It’s called Meathead, and if the Q is worth their weight in Jello chocolate pudding they bring a kick-ass playlist. And a good Q, takes requests or at least knows his audience.
YHC will have the keys for a Wacky Wednesday Meathead workout. Expect the unexpected, this thing will go off the rails, like Men’s Warehouse and their recent bankruptcy. I guarantee it.
Here’s a run-down of what’s in the plan:
5 cleans per side
Two-handed swing x 15, 2 handed OH Press x 5
Two-handed swing x 20, renegade row x 5 per side
Two-handed swing x 15, two-handed clean to squat x 5
5 snatches per side
Expect to run through this at least 5 times, maybe 6 if we have time (spoiler alert: we will).
Carries and core work to follow. Who knows how this will get done. But it will be a smoker, don’t expect much rest. We’ll wait for the 6 to finish, but like a GoRuck challenge it pays to be a winner.
Speaking of smoking, let’s talk playlists. Through the miracles of the interwebs YHC has accumulated a playlist of songs off of smoking debut albums. Including Boston, Van Halen, Pearl Jam, The Who, Ramones, Clash, Black Crowes, U2, The Doors and a few others. Come for the workout stay for the music. Pretty sure Ickey Shuffle would love the opener, “Ice Cream Man”.
YHC will plan for 13, always a lucky number. And on this week, in 2020, on a Wednesday, we need all the luck we can get. The alternative here is just to go run at 0530 with those “other guys”. and no one expects a Meathead to run. That would be like expecting YHC to write a Horsehead-level backblast or something. Can you imagine that?
Just to be safe, YHC will pre-tag all the pax that we can assume will show.
Wednesday, it’s a paradox where the Bermuda Triangle is real, not located in Bermuda, and not shaped like a triangle. Maybe shaped more like a dilapidated 1975 Chrysler New Yorker, but it tastes like a chicken strip. You know, the $8CAD type. Anyone who says they got lost in the Bermuda Triangle probably has a bridge in Brooklyn to sell. No one gets lost in the Bermuda Triangle, they know exactly where they are, they just don’t know how to get out. Not unlike this backblast, you know where you are, just not why you’re reading this now and how you unread any of it.
Back to hump day. It’s the middle of the week, and chances are the only humping any of you are seeing on a Wednesday is the word “hump” on the screen. Camels have humps, though. YHC saw that in a Geico commercial once. YHC also applied for a job at the camel’s office for the sole purpose of trying to outspit the camel. Didn’t make it past the first round of interviews though, YHC hit a tough spot in an interview with a Mustard Tiger who kept asking YHC, “What are you staring at my gut fer?” YHC wasn’t staring, that would be rude. YHC later offered said Mustard Tiger a cheeseburger from the famous Restaurant at the End of the Universe and in return received the secret to life, the universe and everything. Spoiler alert: it’s Col. Mustard in the penthouse with a copy of your grandaddy’s Sports Illustrated autographed by Ted Williams. that’s it, that’s the secret.
Back to the matter at hand, some number of pax (still to be counted) will undoubtedly claim they posted at this week’s edition of Meathead. Slightly overcast, temps in the low 60’s, no rain until later. Perfect fall weather. That’s what the little screen told YHC at least, and it always tells YHC the truth that YHC wants to see. You see, YHC has a plan. It was hatched out of a Simpler Times Lager-induced fever dream, so you know the plan is as good as Trader Joes over-engineered in-store shopping experience post-Covid. I mean, does anyone actually follow the arrows on the ground? and how do you navigate the produce section? it’s not all one-way aisles laid out in a neat grid with 0.19 bananas (or 0.25 if it’s organic).
But you know what they say, when you live in the piedmont, expect to see some wolves.
You know the thing about wolves? They are a model of efficiency under pressure and no-nonsense performers who gets the job done with style. They drive really fast, use language your mother wouldn’t approve of, and are who you call when you have questionable evidence to dispose of. In short, 100% reliable. And only wolves are allowed to refer to Chuck Norris as “Chucky”. How does YHC know this? because it was all documented on a GoRuck Tough Facebook post on a Wednesday. If you can tell me where the Green Bastard hails from, I’ll send you the link so you can see it for yourself.
That about sums up your Q for Meathead this week. A model of efficiency from a no-nonsense performer who has been known to drive at high speeds and always gets the job done in style. Can’t say YHC has ever lived to call Chuck Norris “Chucky”, but a man can dream right?
Speaking of dreams, YHC once released a debut album with his high school garage band, Mildred’s Favorite Donkey. Our hit single was big in Norway and the rhythm track was the sole influence behind Vanilla Ice’s biggest hit ever, Ninja Rap from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles soundtrack. Mildred’s Favorite Donkey later went on to collaborate on an unreleased Wu-Tang album that Pharma Bro, Martin Shkreli, paid $1mm for. Mildred’s Favorite Donkey was left out of the album credits, but YHC’s cut was paid out in wooden subway tokens. Because classics never go out of style and tube televisions are making a big comeback. Don’t tell the SEC, but that’s an insider trading tip, right there.
If YHC has learned one thing from all of this it’s that you can’t change the backblast, and you can’t unread what you just read, but you can change your vote in a presidential election after it was cast. According to the sitting president, of course. And he’s like the internet, and the little screen that tells YHC everything. All you read and wear and see and hear on his twitter feed is always true … on a Wednesday.
7 men gathered in the gloom of the not-so-smooth InVue parking lot for this week’s edition of Swole. We had two runners show up, so YHC assumes they were lost or woke up on a Monday expecting it to be Tuesday (those swifty, fast-twitchers). With the playlist prepped, courtesy of Unplugged’s Sunday request, and a weak disclaimer, the timer was set and off we went … to a distance exactly 0.0 miles away.
The Thang, the moleskine, and some other stuff:
02:30 on and 00:30 off. Rinse and repeat until 250 swings, then do some static holds and planks. That was the plan, the execution not so smooth. these were the exercises. two sets.
|5 Upright Rows|
|5 lawnmowers (per side)|
|5 goblet squats|
|5 shoulder press (per side)|
|5 romanian deadlifts|
The exercises held up but YHC left too much time between sets and realized, after set 1, to change up the timing. No worries. Basically, I dropped the 30 second rest off some of the sets and incorporated static holds in some of the other rest periods, and then actually allowed a rest twice (you’re welcome). Thanks to YHC’s trusty accountant, Uncle Leo, we actually did 300 swings not 250.
So all pax in attendance get a 50 swing credit to use at any workout of their choice this week.
CREDIT SMALL PRINT: Some restrictions apply. All swings credited with bell weight of equal or lesser weight to the bell weight used on 10/05 at Swole. Credit is non-refundable, non-transferrable, has a cash value of 0.00, and is not legal in any of 48 contiguous states. Residents of Puerto Rico, Hawaii, Alaska, and Guam are not eligible for a credit. Not to be combined with credit offers from other AOs, other regions, or yo mama. Pax must present this backblast to the Q of their workout choice to redeem the 50 swing credit. The Q reserves all rights to acknowledge the credit or tell the pax to go pound sand. If pax feel this credit was issued in error, they must respond to this backblast in writing with a darn good reason. After which YHC will tell the pax to go pound sand.
The fun part about the workout was the playlist (isn’t it always). 70’s funk, thanks to a request by Unplugged. Admittedly, YHC was a little challenged to develop this playlist. Most of the music in YHCs catalog that could fit the 70s funk genre was not what one would classify as “good music to swing heavy iron to” but somehow it worked. Grasshopper was a fan and that gets a Chuck Norris sized thumbs up in YHC’s book.
Curtis Mayfield: Pusherman
Average White Band: Pick Up the Pieces
Spinners: Rubberband Man
Ohio Players: Love Rollercoaster
Charles Wright: Soul Train
James Brown: The Payback
Curtis Mayfield: Superfly
Edwin Starr: War
Isaac Hayes: Theme from “Shaft”
Stevie Wonder: Higher Ground
Kool and the Gang: Hollywood Swinging
There’s a whole bunch of stuff going on in SOB-land this month. There’s a Q-school/bloodrive/convergence/happy hour lasting the entire month of October. In YHC’s opinion that sounds like a blast and you should all sign-up (YHC did). As per the usual, Mighty Mite has all the details but you should check out Slack for more updates.
YHC had the take-out.
Pax: Homer, Hoover (Q), Smokey (or is it Smoky)
3 men showed up for Monday’s edition of the Matrix. YHC has volunteered to Q for Christmas, something about a long run keeping him from his assigned duties. HR files and performance reviews now updated, the pax could proceed.
YHC pulled in around 0525 to get the lay of the land. It was a new AO to YHC (a VQ at the Matrix) and there was no one in the main parking lot. Eventually, YHC meandered over to the side parking lot and discovered 2 pax waiting in warm cozy vehicles. After convincing Smokey and Homer that YHC wasn’t a sasquatch or a something from a nightmare that stalks elementary school parking lots in the gloom, a weak disclaimer was delivered to these grizzled veterans and we were off.
Mosey across the parking lot towards the field. Simple warmup of Imperial Walkers, Low Slow Squats, and merkins. Once we were sufficiently warmed up, we hit the track. With a small group we all stuck together, no need to let the rabbits get out front of the clydedale.
On the track, 4 corners:
Mosey over to the main parking lot for some suicides with 5 jump squats at each tree/light pole
Mosey to the playground for Jack Webb with pull-ups and monkey humpers. Go to 5 and 20 then stop.
People’s Chair with 33 (IC) overhead arm raises, rest then back for another set of 33 arm raises in people’s chair.
Mosey back to the playground to finish our Jack Webb, this time from 5 down to 1
Hit the picnic tables for dips, step-ups, and incline merkins with some laps around the parking lot in between
Head back to the cars for some mary and end at 6:15
Blood drive on October 23rd, see Slack for details and sign-up. Or Mighty Mite will continue to spam all of the Slack channels. Seriously, it’s for a good cause and I hear there will be free beer in the parking lot after. Just like college!!
Ironpax Challenge is in it’s last week. Send it out with a bang! or just complain about the smoker of a workout. Either way, just get out there and represent Area 51.