Author Archive Hairball

Grumpy Starfish

A cool double deuce pulled into the SCMS lot sometime between 5:02 and 5:16am. A whopping zero guys showed up for an “aggressive”(?) proposal of a 0500 warmup pre-run. Easy 1-ish mile jog up 51 and back to the lot to scoop errbody up. A healthy disclaimer was provided, noting that there’d be some familiarity in the workout today, and we were off. TL, Rachel, and Stinger were out of the gate hot. In a veteran move to slow them down, I told them to “hold up at the country club lot”, only to blow past them on Raintree Ln towards the gravel lot – keep up. We circled up in the dimly lit gravel lot, that Gloss described as smelling of “musk”. A few obligatory imperial walkers and low slow squats to get the joints moving before the real deal.

A modified starfish (or Balloon knot, as Spackler named it, way back when). The center point was the 4 way stop at Raintree Ln/4 Mile Creek. Leg 1 – center point to the gravel lot and back up. Leg 2 – down 4MC to the trough between the two ponds and back. Leg 3 – Up Raintree Ln to Providence and back. At the end of each leg, 30 squats – which I was told multiple times, was “aggressive.” Most guys got through all 3 legs at least twice.

  • Notepad:
    This was unashamedly a reboot of a Spackler workout from March 10, 2015 – 16 pages deep in the FT backblast archives. It was a memorable one – if not for the workout, for the name. Ask Spack about the origin if you’re struggling to connect the dots.
  • About 2 legs in, Swiper and One-eye rolled in, wearing wildly contrasting sleeves. OE had the long ones, while Swipe’s sleeves were plum tore off. Note: 4 tank tops out there today – smashed the over. Apparently they rolled in late and looked “everywhere” for the group. Process of elimination, they found us.
  • We hit the superfecta on the color of Haze’s shoes – he described them in color as “black, with a hint of red and yellow.” Count it.
  • Depending on when you called it quits, we had a few skins out there back on campus. As a rule follower, we hit the under on 0.5.
  • The long shot of the day at 600:1 was Hopper’s shoe attire. That money will live to see another day. There’s a great video circulating on the facebook in case you’re curious. No link here though, don’t be lazy.
  • I’ve figured out the traffic sitch in Raintree- the GC maintenance guys have it figured out. They don’t flinch when they see you and smoothly cruise down the middle lane. If it’s a big truck coming, hang to the right or left and you’ll be fine. If it’s a luxury sedan – good luck.
  • Good to see some dudes back from the IR today – namely Mr. Brady. Just in time for the heat and humidity
  • T-claps to Stinger for making the trip down from Metro and almost getting stood up by his boy Swiper. Killed it out there today.
  • Big weekend at the Preakness this weekend – who ya got? I was at the Preakness when this first happened. It was memorable…
  • I think most guys really got after it today – not a much lollygagging, like I may have expected to see. I’ve never seen a more grumpy, angry look on guys faces than some of the interchanges of dudes grinding up the hills. Some dudes out there were hating life between 5:45-5:05. One of my favorite types of workouts – one where noone can hide. You’re all better for it. Solid effort out there.

Announcements:

  • Disclaimer- this was the most intense announcements I’ve ever seen. Pull out your calendars and brace yourself. Lotta good stuff in the next couple weeks.
  • Next week (5/23) is the 4 year anniversary of Fast Twitch. Last year TL etched out a number 3 on the Strava map, in honor of the late Dale Earnhardt. Show next week to see if he can top the Strava Art efforts this year.
  • SOBs are hosting a “FNG-Day” workout at the Maul next Wednesday 5/24. Bring out a new guy to a workout structured to welcome new men into F3.
  • There was also some chatter about a convergence at on 5/24 between Death Valley and Anvil – BOLO for details
  • Friday, May 26th – Knights Game – hit up Poptart for details
  • Saturday, May 27th – Annual Memorial Day Convergence at Calvary Church 0700. This is an annual tradition Day Zero and The Rock hosted that pays tribute to those that lost their lives serving for our freedom. If you post to one Saturday workout this year, this is the one.
  • Monday, May 29th – Memorial Day Convergence at SCMS – more detail to follow
  • Thursday, June 1st – Ghost Runner (A.k.a. the Stink and Drink) evening run from the Arbo reboots. Great opportunity for a double-down and BRR prep, with some 2nd F at Vintners after.
  • Monday, June 5th – Horsey McHorse Arse reboot. Gnarliest hills in the 704.
  • F3 Speed for Need (SFN) – JRR Tolkien announced last week, an incredible opportunity for community engagement – F3 Speed for Need has launched and is an amazing opportunity for us to all give back to kids that can’t run around neighborhoods, up hills, around office parks, like we can. Find 5 minutes of your day and check out the preblast, including a short youtube video to see what it’s all about. http://f3nation.com/2017/05/12/speedforneed/. They’ve rasied nearly $15K in only a few days. Incredible working going on. Get involved.

Preblast: Swag Twitch

Fast Twitch Swag is back in effect. Just about every square inch of “The ‘Tree” has been scoured on Tuesday mornings pre-dawn. In the interest of avoiding the insufferable whining from a select few you-know-who’s, we’ll be in Raintree. Does Raintree have hills? Yep. Will we be running hard? Eh, probably 85% of you will. What will the weather look like? Low 60s with unseasonably seasonal humidity – dress accordingly. Where will we go? Deep. How deep? I can’t type it on here.

Prop bets:
Number of tank tops worn: +/- 2
Guys ending up shirtless: +/- 0.5
Color of Purple Haze’s shoes: Black 5:4, White 6:1, Red: 15:1
Odds Hopper runs in the shoes he wore this weekend: 600:1

HB

Savage Garden

14 savages steamrolled into the Vine this morning bumping Savage Garden’s greatest hits from their stereo speakers. A mixed bag of old and new SOB/A51 guys got after it out of the gate. An almost-legal disclaimer was given – including “don’t bust your face open like a guy did at my last Q.” Like a Katy Perry firework, we were off.

Thang-a-lang:

Mosey towards the gas station for COP adjacent to the pond (that surely has a name I’m not acquainted). Imperial Walkers, Low Slow Squats, Carolina Dry Deezy’s, Merkins – all IC, somewhere between 15-25 or so.

We took a clockwise lap around the pond – stopping at each of the 2 buildings for some exercises. Bldg 1- derkins & dips x20ea, Bldg 2- step ups & dips x15ea. Regroup at the mouth of the fitness trail. High-tail up the trail to Ballantyne Corp Pl for a triple nickel up the hill (that definitely has a name) towards the bridge. Jump squats down low, burpees up top. We moseyed back towards the bullring, taking the side entrance. The lead dogs touched the roundabout and pinballed back for the six. We did some variations of Mary before looping back to the center of the bullring.

Partner up with someone of like speed. P1 runs the innermost circle of the bullring CCW, while P2 runs the opposite direction. 10 hand-slap merkins where you meet, then pinball back to where you started. Flapjack directions and repeat.

A couple scraggly indian run lines got us back up Brixham to Ballantyne Medical Pl. We took a right and most gave AYG effort up to BCP. Across BCP and regroup at the fountain behind the parking deck. 25 dips IC on the fountain.

Head to the deck for 3 laps up the ramps and down the stairs with 10 HR merkins up top.

Mosey back to the launch for 25 mountain climbers before calling it a wrap.

Total ground covered: 4.4 miles. Exercises done: probably a touch more than some expected.

The skinny-B moleskinny:

Mixed with a few newer guys, there were a lotta regulars out there and guys who’ve been around a while. Great seeing Rump Roast and Morning After out there. Used to kick it on Thursdays at Rebel Yell with those guys a couple years back. Bucky, TR, and Margo lead the charge most of the day. Runstopper had one of the most coordinated Foot Locker workout outfits on record at F3. I had the premium Lulu shirt going, but it didn’t hold a scented candle to the look RS had going. Some other old-heads Rock Thrill and Market Timer, back in action, were grinding out there today. Pulp Fiction, Billy Goat, and Culdesac were smooth as silk out there. It was a muggy morning after the boomers and rain we had last night. About err’y one out there was soggy by the end. Coal Ash (a FNG from Tuesday this week) put in work the whole time. Dude jumped in with both feet to a pretty run-heavy (SHOCKER) workout and hung tough. Frasier kept us all in check today and let RT off the hook on the Strava segments.

It was a fun one guys. Enjoyed meeting some new folks and taking the ride around Ballantyne. Wheels stayed down today and no one ended up with stitches, so we had that going for us. Best of luck to our brothers doing the Savage Race today. Stay healthy and give it hell.

Enjoyed it fellas. Remember your baby mamas tomorrow.

Peace & luv,

HB

Announcements:

Gents- JRR Tolkien announced a pretty moving, and incredible opportunity for community engagement this week. F3 Speed for Need is launching imminently and is an amazing opportunity for us to all give back to kids that can’t run around neighborhoods, up hills, around office parks, like we can. Find 5 minutes of your day and check out the preblast, including a short youtube video to see what it’s all about. http://f3nation.com/2017/05/12/speedforneed/

The ways to get involved are many. Get involved early and often. This is one’s something special.

Cinco de Mayo Bloodbath

Well, that was bananas.

Cinco de Mayo? Check. Pouring rain? Yep, had that too. Blood gushing out of some dude’s face We’ll get to that. Cold beer as a prize for winning the race? You damn right.

On a day of the year that’s slowly fallen out of my top 5, but still probably in my top 15 favorite days, I had the opportunity to Q a group of heavy hitters on arguably one of the grittiest Friday workouts around. Centurion used to be in my regular rotation – it’s a real treat getting back every one in a while. Best part about it today is having Q I could keep us the hell away from Palantine Hill. Instead, here’s what went down:

A disclaimer might have been given. An explanation of why the Q was shirtless was given. Off we went.

We headed up Little Ave past CLT aquatics and hung a right on Walsh down to the culdesac for COP. Imperial Walkers x 15, SSH x 20, Merkins x 15, CDD x 10; all IC.

From there we headed down Waterford Square past the pool, doing 10 merkins at each speed bump, after a quick pause for some squats we worked it right on Waterford Square to Carmel.

We crossed Carmel, slid past the crossfit gym and hit AYG to 51

Regrouping at the corner of 51, we hit an AYG to power station and regrouped

We worked our way into the office park. Each building in the park has a fountain. At 5 of the buildings, (you know, for Cinco de Mayo), we did exercises, then ran a loop around building
1. Derkins
2. Dips
3. Incline Merkins
4. Jump ups
5. Dips

We crossed Carmel back down Little Ave to the lot behind CCHS. With about 10 minutes left the challenge was set: AYG to top of the parking deck (jumping over the missing guys doing LBCs), via short ramps, down stairs and back. Winner get’s a Cinco de Mayo prize.

Back to the lot for some Diamond Merkins, Peter Parkers, Parker Peters, and Merkins.

Just for giggles, 10 burpees OYO.

Tha ‘skin:

A couple feelers went out yesterday on Slack for a prerun at different pacing. The 8″ pace crew met at 5 for a quick couple miles. As we rolled out of the lot, a guy wearing a safety vest (?) was walking next to a slow driving truck, through the CCHS campus. Hard to tell what his agenda was, but all seemed in check by the time we got back.

Speaking of check, Checkpoint got the grit award today. Rounding the building after fountain 3, he hit a slick spot on the pavement and took a nasty slide and bloodied his face pretty good. We circled around him and took turns patting him on the back until he got to his feet. All seemed ok- but he looked gnarly. In my former life in college I was a student athletic trainer and saw tons of busted up faces in wrestling tournaments. Faces bleed a TON. Hope you’re alright bud. Watch your step out there gents. There’s a gnarly pic of the grit, but I have no idea how to upload it.

Went with the skins look today. Ran the prerun and worked up a good sweat. After all the humid/rainy weather this week, the nips have taken a beating. I wasn’t willing to roll the dice, so ditched the shirt for the workout. Pro told me that with gloves on and a backwards hat I looked like i was going for the “shirtless garbage man” look. Best compliment I’ve received in a long time.

Winner of the king-of-the-deck race was promised a cinco de mayo themed prize. Bout Time was the first guy to break the tape and is the proud owner of a frosty Corona. 12oz, not those dinky coronitas. Best part about it is he ran in to the workout from home. Either he drank it before the run home, or now has a foamy mess on his hands.

T-claps to Riverboat and Stryker for making the trip down from LKN this morning, you guys crushed it.

Annoucements:

  • Discussion series at The Stand – 3rd F at Panera immediately following Centurion on Fridays
  • Burpees and Beer – Pro’s annoucement on the Burpees and Beer event received mixed feedback. Charity event in September targeting F3, Crossfit, OTF groups that involves exercise, beer, and charity. Stay tuned for more info
  • CLT Craft Course – Tuck organized a brewery beer run/crawl on May 20th that hits many of the signature breweries in town. It’s a 7.5 mile jaunt and will end with a family-friendly get together at Sugar Creek. Starts at NoDa Brewing. RSVP here for an accurate headcount.

Appreciate the opportunity as always gents.

 

Bougie in Bally

Eight guys were standing around in the Vine parking lot at 5:14:45 this morning when the smaller cousin of F3 Big Black rolled in hot. Like a gaggle of Canada geese (shoutout Strange Brew), they held their ground, between me and “my” parking spot. A couple soft nudges with the side view mirror and TR skootched out of the way just enough to get through. Truth be told, I was in the area at 5:06, scoping the route turn by turn to avoid getting lost. Somewhere deep in BCC about 5:08, the gut bubble popped. After hitting every red light on the way back up Johnston, a quick pit stop at 5:12 was in order at the Circle K. Back behind the wheel at 5:14, hammer down for the 0.2 mi trip to the Vine.

After a hearty disclaimer to a grisly veteran crew, we were off. Pay attention, here’s exactly what happened.

We worked our way past CVS and Duckworths to BCP and headed towards the promised land in South Carolina. Somewhere near “the end of the guard rail” we tripled up in groups of 3 for modified grinders of sorts. P1 ran up the hill to the BCC entrance on the left, and ran back to P2/P3. Meanwhile, P2 planked, and P3 did derkins off the plank. From where we were, to where we had to go was a lot longer than planned. So much longer, that some guys audibled to dips on the guard rail – total class. After each partner ran, we moseyed closer towards BCC. After each guy got the hill sprint in, we shot up BCP and took a left into BCC.

From the corner of (Capt.) Jack Rd. to Jockey’s Ridge was at a quick clip, with 5 burpees at each side street, totaling 20. The elevation and pitch of the hills was neat. From the sand dune to Bally Crossing was a quick-paced recovery mosey. From there to the clubhouse, the groups did a leapfrog CMIYC with 5 hand-slap merkins for the partners.

We maneuvered past the greens crews prepping for the Bob Barker Celebrity Pro-Am to the tunnel under Johnston Rd. 9 guys went in, 7 came out. Somewhere in the mix we lost a cell phone and two dudes. Two more guys peeled off to join the search party, leaving 5 to gut out the remaining 20 minutes. We rendezvoused at the corner of BCC Dr. for a quick tour of Ballantyne East. We rolled out the Brolympics timed mile a day early on the hilly mile stretch back to BCP.

From BCP back to the Vine, we did 10 merkins at every 3rd street light, banged a ringo on Bally Corp Place back by the Y and home and clicked the 6 mile mark with zero time to spare. The search party lumbered in with the missing iPhone in hand.

Fast crew out there today. Including the exercises, we averaged a sub-8 pace and covered about 6 miles. Way too nice of a group letting the hill repeats flub slide without any complaints – I was disappointed, actually. If we’re bein’ honest, I’m pretty stoked we didn’t really get lost. Good thing too, coulda gotten dicey getting lost in that part of town. For a workout labeled a bootcamp, we got some miles in. The exercises only felt a little “token”. To everyone that went north to Frasier’s Q for a day off, come back in 2 weeks. The site Qs there had a lapse in judgement and let me sign up to Q. Come party.

Announcements:

Not sure if you’ve heard, but the Brolympics are coming up. Tomorrow, in fact. At Community House Middle School at 6am. Coulda mis-heard him, but I think Tolkien said he’d do 50 burpees for everyone that beat him in the 100m sprint?

 

Peace & luv, HB

Lost and Found

13 hardy gents posted in no-mans-land this morning – in the dead zone between Metro and Area 51, known as the DMZ. With about 4 weeks passed since my last F3 post, there was sure to be some rust – and there was. A sufficient disclaimer was given and away we went.

Here’s what went down-

We took a spin the long way around C@C for a quick COP – SSH, mountain climbers, and merkins to check the boxes. The gameplan today was to hit some fast, quick-ish runs. Mix in a few hills, some partnerwork and a few exercises to appease corporate.

First exercise: AYG up Colony to Sharon View. Starting position, move, in-cadence, exercise. B-T-dubs, its, a mile. Agony and Cold Cuts must have flirted with a sub-6 pace on the way out. I’d verify and give Agony the appropriate kudos, but I forgot my Map My Run password back in 2006. The lead dogs led some Mary while we regrouped. The mary sesh was short- guys weren’t far behind at all.

Q Rust: we mosied up Sharon View with the intent of banging a L on Shaker. We blew right past Shaker for a bonus climb up the SV hill. When it sank in we were far from where we needed to be, I pulled out the old “call-an-exercise-like-you-meant-it-all-along” trick. Fortunately, everyone fell for it. A quick about-face and we worked our way back down SV and hooked a Rizzo down to Shaker. 20 merkins IC

Next segment was an AYG run down Shaker (is it pronounced Shake-r, or Shack-er?) to Mountainbrook.

At MB, guys partnered up with someone of similar size for a partner carry down to the pool road. The downhill partner carry was sneaky on the quads.

The last segment was from the pool road to Carmel. At each side street, we did 5 burpees, then rotated to the left 90 degrees, continuing to rotate, running every direction, until we hit Carmel. Sideways running got weird.

The call was for a native american formation run back towards Colony. After a sluggish start, we hit stride midway back, dodging cars, potholes, bushes, ditches – the usual.

10 minutes to spare, we ventured on campus at C@C to wrap up with some partner sprints. P1 did dips whilst P2 ran the short loop around the church. After flapjacking, P1 did incline merks while P2 ran.

 

The skinn-ey

A lot of new faces (to me) out there this morning. Great running with you all. DMZ was heavy in the rotation for me a while back and has some wicked terrain to explore. Appreciate the patience and creativity out there. We had a FNG “Albatross” – Paul D, who LBJ brought out. He killed it today – look for him at Governator on Wednesday.

Thanks LBJ for the takeout. Enjoyed it fellas.

Donut Run goes Missy

Bushwood is on a diet and bailed on donuts tomorrow. We’re putting our thangs down flippin and reversin’ tha loop. This week, we will run the REVERSE route: https://www.strava.com/routes/7470827

Everybody knows the rules:

515: 815-8:30 pace
520: 730-7:45 pace
530: 645-7:00 pace

Otherwise, anything goes.

Sextuple Nickel

14 young guns brought the wood to Basecamp this morning. A balmy 40 degrees – not too cool, not too hot. A disclaimer held together by duct tape and rubber bands, and a promise of no burpees (alternative fact) and we got after it.

The Thang:

We moseyed a good 50 yards or so to the front parking lot of the school for COP (+/- 15, all IC)

  • Imperial walker
  • Low slow squat
  • SSH
  • Merkins
  • Peter Parker
  • Parker Peter

We headed down Strawberry Ln to Rosecliff Drive for the first Triple nickel – HR Merkins at the top, Sumo squats at the bottom (2nd light post on the right).

We headed back up Strawberry to the top of Woodfox for a 2nd Triple nickel – wide arm merkins at the top, diamond merkins at the bottom (cartpath crossing).

Plankwork on the sidewalk clear of traffic – elbows, arms high, legs high variety mix

Mosey to the wall on the school adjacent to the Suites de Gloss for Peoples Chair. Roughly 4 minutes in the chair with some overhead presses and leg lifts.

What’s a good try-hard exercise with ~15 seconds left? 5 burpees OYO. Promises broken.
Moleskinny:

Sheldon (great name, real or fake), dusted the crowd all day. I think he was holding back to not make Goonie look bad. I “encouraged” him to not let Goonie’s alpha presence overshadow his efforts this morning. All it took was a little permission and he was lighting everyone up on the woodfox triple nickel.

BOG may have the most flexible deep squat in NC.

Snooki fought the battle out there this morning. Coming off some rotator cuff work, I’ll just say, I wouldn’t challenge him to a one-armed SSH contest. Strong work, dude.

We finished up with 125 merkins for y’all doing the challenge this month, you’re welcome.

Drano, Goonie- thanks for the invite to lead. Enjoyed it homies.

Announcements:
Savage Race: May 13 – lots of guys out there looking for teammates. Keep your eyes peeled on Slack and at workouts for openings.

Providence Presbyterian wall rebuild – March 18 – keep your eyes peeled for a signup coming soon.

xoxo,

HB

Happy Birthday, Lauren Conrad

17 pardy-hardy gents released their inhibitions and felt the rain on their skin this morning at DT to celebrate the 1-year anniversary of the LC at 5 Knolls. No coddling of the pax today with chalk arrows today – read the preblast, or get lost. A mediocre explanation of the course, and we were off. What was once a seemingly unattainable challenge of 3 full laps up the LC now seems commonplace with some speedsters lighting up the course. Notably, Fahvra nabbed the CR crown for the LC. Frasier was either not there, or forgot his watch – both plausible excuses.

Other sightings were sparse this morning. I drove from the backseat this morning:

  • TR rolled in bumping The Hills Intro song – strong music game, as always
  • Tolkien jogged everything that wasn’t a strava segment
  • Fahvra beat everyone. Even a rested Tolkien on the segments
  • Prohibition partied too hard at the CIAA and almost puked in an Uber
  • A DT site Q did a lot of pushups at a running workout (tsk tsk)
  • Depth Charge is getting sneaky fast. Watch out for this guy
  • Guarantee the average speed at DT is 30-45 seconds faster than it was a year ago. Running is fun
  • O/U was 15 on pax this week. Anyone that didn’t bet the over doesn’t like fun

Ball out this weekend,

HB

A date with Lauren Conrad

1 year ago (3/3), the hills of 5 Knolls were discovered. Like Christopher Columbus sailing off the edge of the flat world (sup, Kyrie Irving), 14 dudes ventured into uncharted territory. Less than 1/2 a mile from one of the biggest AOs in A51, lay one of the biggest hills in A51 – the southern segment on 5 Knolls Drive – affectionately known as LC to those in the biz. Frasier holds the CR and is the lucky lad teed up to take LC to prom. Will anyone dethrone him and take the prom king crown?

**Update: upon further investigation, LC hasn’t decided who she’s taking to prom – Fahvra and Frasier share the CR, and there’s only room for one winner.

 

The challenge stands 1-year later:

Head north on Rea across 51, switch to left side of Rea. Take 3rd Left on Five Knolls Rd. Head down (and up) Five Knolls til you hit the dead end, about face back to Rea. One lap from the corner of Rea/Five Knolls to the dead end and back = 2 mi. Repeat as many times as possible and head the 1.1 mi back down Rea.

Here’s the breakdown, including the run to Five Knolls, and the return run back:

  • 1 lap = 4.2mi (Avg. pace to complete in 60 mins = 14:17/mi)
  • 2 laps = 6.2mi (9:40/mi)
  • 3 laps = 8.1mi (7:24/mi)

Adjust your laps accordingly to get back to the start by 0615.

xoxo,

HB