Author Archive Gummy

I don’t think the heavy stuff’s gonna come down for quite a while.

While enjoying my coffee on Friday morning, I got a text from Hops looking for a substi-Q so he could enjoy all that the SOB Holiday party had to offer. I checked the weather before agreeing to it – 52 and slight chance of rain. Alright, I’m in. Same forecast when I went to bed and even when I got up this morning – 40% chance of rain around 8:00. So I was a little surprised when I got outside and it was actively raining pretty hard. Surprisingly, 9 other guys showed up, equally fooled by the weather apps on their phones. It didn’t let up through the whole workout.

So we did some stuff. We started with 2 SSHs and ended 2 minutes early. See Geraldo for a refund.

Other notes:
– Purell pre-ran 6.5 miles. Insulting.
– The rain made Deep Dish’s hair a mess by the end. First time I’ve seen that.
– OT thought he had a good enough head start on one of the AYG runs, but Purell was just toying with him and blew by him with 50 yards left.
– It’s always good to have the Carlson twins there. Thanks to Slow Roll for making the drive down from up north.
– Runstopper’s post-workout vest was disturbing.

The pond would be good for you

Like the President trash talking ambassadors, our Nantan, Alf, put the over/under at 3 for Joust as he touted the “perfect” parking deck at Cerberus. Ductwork came in on the under, saying coffee was on him if just 2 posted (me and him). I knew Hopper was going to be there though since he had told me several times this week that he would be (narrator’s voice: Hopper was not there). So I showed up with a plan and was pleasantly surprised to see six other guys ready to get after it. The rain held off, but there was still plenty of complaining about the wet artificial turf. Geez.

We did some stuff, including:
– AYG 400 (Smokey and Yeti gave at least 50% effort)
– Partner work at the base of Grandma with alternating runs up that beast (RIP Blue Door)
– Triple Nickel on the bleachers
– Burpee sets descending from 10 down to 1, interspersed throughout the workout
– An oldie but a goodie from a Tiger Rag Q circa 2013?: Line up on the goal line (abreast) in two groups. Group 1 sprints to 30 yard line and back, then group 2 goes. Repeat to the 30 4 times, the 50 three times, the other 30 twice, and the other goal line once. It hurts by about the second run to the 50 if you’re doing it right.

Topics of conversation:
– Smokey surveyed the crowd about Disney +. It sounded like most are in already. Hoover and Geraldo were SUPER excited about the Star Wars tv show.
– The Sugarhill Gang is not the same thing as the Apple Dumplin’ Gang (available on Disney +).
– During a People’s Chair/ Burpee thing, Hoover asked someone to “make it tingle”. We moved on quickly.
– Apparently The Charge is alive and well, drawing 15ish Metro guys every week using an email distribution list.

I don’t know why they call this stuff hamburger helper.

It does just fine by itself.

I just had a two-hour nap. Is it still Saturday? 19 of A51’s finest gathered this morning:
Fault Line – Asked permission to steal the island hopping rock thing we did this morning. Granted. I stole it from someone – Haze maybe? Imitation is flattery or something like that.
Sprockets – He defended the honor of all of us old men by chasing down.
Skipper in the long sprints we did from the hotbox wall to that patio over there. Three times. He did quit on the third one though – I’m sure not because he was tired, but to give Skipper his pride. Sure.
Skipper – The young man put in work out there. Most of the youth that join us give 25% effort at best, but he was working hard all morning.
Hopper – I wish I could say the same for his old man. He does look younger without the beard though.
Deep Dish – Not only did he not leave early, he stuck around for coffee after. And his hair looked amazing the whole time.
Boerewors – Frankly, I didn’t really see him during the workout. It’s possible he was only there at COT when he realized that the Cricket league that meets at Calvary got rained out this week.
Scratch ‘N’ Win – Good example of why you ought to talk to guys during and after the workout about real life. He was heading to Asheville after the workout where he’ll be doing some “development” (fundraising) for the non-profit he works for. Good stuff.
Geraldo – I mean, his form wasn’t great on the rock thrusters we did on the island hopping thing, but he was fast on the running part and finished on the podium.
Hoover – In a surprise move during COP, he responded to heckling from Alf by walking through the circle to give Alf a big, sweaty (from the pre-run) hug. Well played.
Guinness – FNG EH’d by Flipper. It was maybe the quickest naming I’ve been a part of – last name “Stout”. Fault Line thought we quit too soon and took the easy way out, but sometimes the easy call is the right call. Welcome.
Flipper – Did not take kindly to a comment about his speed early on, responding with, “Come talk to me when you prerun 6 miles.” No thanks.
Blowhole – Dude was flying on the rock island part. Fun fact – I went to a good tailgate party that he hosted next to Unknown Brewing a few years ago, with LaZBoy.
Bernanke – I think he, Blowhole and LaZBoy were having a bro morning, including a nice brunch after the workout.
LaZBoy – Reeling after the poor display of athleticism by his Tarheels on Friday night. That was bad.
Alf – That’s my nantaan. Full effort all morning, some good heckling, and a double-shot of espresso at Coffeeteria.
Turkey Leg – Saw “Hustlers” with his M last night and reported back that JLo still has her fastball. He did seem a little slow this morning – I’m sure it was just the shin splints.
Mr. Magoo – Again, from a conversation about real life, I found out that he has a kid at Georgetown. Also he’s an Ohio State fun (31-0). Also, I still feel a little bad for the nickname – Hops showed up to Q Base Camp with preselected FNG names a while ago.
Tagalong – He seemed to really enjoy the Catch Me If You Can rock carry around the church. I haven’t used that one in a few years. It’s awful.
Gummy – ‘Twas an honor to lead this morning. There is a moment every time I Q when I say to myself, “I can’t believe these guys are following me and listening to what I tell them to do.” Leading isn’t easy – this silly workout thing we do is good practice for real life.

Pardon me, I wonder if you can tell me how to get back on the expressway?

Pax: Gummy (Q), Smash, Hannibal, Thunder Road, Marvel, Sardine, Snowflake, Clover, Blades of Glory, Fireman Ed, Snuka, Mr. Magoo

I covered for Pro who is bad at planning and had to cancel. I guess he booked the flight on Sunday and didn’t have any advance warning that he’d miss his upcoming Q. Anyway, it was good to get a little pre-game witty banter with Semi Gloss and the DMZ crowd. We even heard from Kirk (on Twitter, not at a workout- don’t be silly), who I thought had moved out-of-state.

Speaking of moving, we recently moved a couple of miles north on Providence to Lansdowne, and I haven’t made a good adjustment to my departure times. I rolled in at 5:29:55, jumped out of the car and yelled for the guys to follow me. Jello and Hopper went for a walk around Raintree instead.

We did some stuff. 100 AYG, 200 AYG, 400 AYG with some rest in between. We scattered a descending burpee ladder throughout the workout – sneaky way to get in a fair amount of burpees. There were jump ups, some Mary, and classic time-killing sprints at the end.

Other notes:
– BOG failed to wear his Olympic medal again.
– I felt really good when Snuka said, “isn’t this supposed to be moderate?”. Success. That dude is fast.
– Because I got there late, I didn’t see who was there, then we immediately went down to the really dark track. So I didn’t know who was there until about halfway through? Is that Fireman Ed?
– If you haven’t done BRR yet, do it. You can handle it. It’s the best way to get to know guys beyond the 45 minutes of heavy breathing at a workout.

Do you want that in the can?

No I’ll have it right here.

PAX list: Gummy, Runstopper, Sardine, Hannibal, Semi Gloss, Buc-ee’s (FNG), One Eye, Marvel, McGee, Puddin’ Pop, Spackler, Thunder Road, Motorboat, Homer, Marge

14 men gathered on the plush Latin tailgate lots this morning for the weekly edition of Hawk’s/Hawks’/Hawks Nest. It could’ve been 16, it’s hard to tell in COP when the Fast Twitch guys mix in and people start leaving. Since we’re here, does the 4 minutes they save by leaving early really matter? It hurts my feelings, and I can’t imagine they don’t have 4 minutes somewhere else between COP and getting to work to make up that time. I picture Deep Dish running into the bank (whichever one it is) tower afraid he’s going to miss the first few minutes of the work day, slowing down his plot to bring down the economy again. On the other end of that spectrum, Alf and Haze have plenty of time to hang around and talk about how bad the hills of FT were, how disappointing the Gamecocks are (again), and strategies to look taller.

Anyway, we had an FNG among us (welcome to Buc-ee’s – thusly named by Ductwork after the convenience store chain in his home state of Texas), so after a thorough disclaimer, we got after it. Based on the immediate feedback, it must’ve been evident that I showed up with only a loose weinke (spend some time over there on the hill, jump up the Q*bert stairs if I can find them, partner work at the track, etc.), but I think it turned out ok. The chatter didn’t stop, but I consider it a sign of respect. We tease the ones we love. We even had an opportunity to heckle the Fast Twitch foursome on the track for a while which is always nice. I picked a good week to not be at Fast Twitch.

July 4th Convergence

Hydra is hosting the 4th of July Convergence. Come dressed in your best patriotic attire and get some work in before you eat and drink all day.

Location: Olde Providence Elementary School, 3800 Rea Rd
Time: 7:00-8:00 am
Qs: Gummy (Hydra), War Eagle (Rebel Yell) and High Tide (Meathead)
Format: We’re planning to keep everyone together and rotate the three Qs through. If 100 people show up like the olden days, we’ll adjust.

Coffeeteria afterwards at Dunkin’ just down the road at Colony/Rea. Don’t let them know that we’re associated with Bushwood and the Donut Run guys.

As a novelist, I turned out to be a pretty good sportswriter.

10 guys at Base Camp this morning. We did some stuff. It was maybe a tad aggressive, but with a few 10-counts and partner breaks thrown in, it still met the conditions required to be called “moderate”. Pro loves moderate workouts.

I have a few workouts locked in every week: Fast Twitch, Hydra, RockZero. I bounce around a little and hit one or two Mon/Wed/Fri workouts in most weeks too. I like taking Mondays off if I run on Sunday so I feel better for Fast Twitch. I laid out my Wednesday workout decision tree a few weeks ago. Here’s how Mondays go if I post:

DMZ – closest to my house (even closer to my new house in Lansdowne), but it has angry Metro guys and sometimes Semi Gloss. I haven’t been in a while, but I’ll probably work it back into the rotation.

Base Camp – Depends on who the Q is and if I want to take it easy. I remember when Simba used to make all his congregants post at Base Camp. I saw him a couple of weeks ago and he said, “You’re still going to F3?”. He doesn’t miss us.

M*A*S*H – Like Pro pointed out this morning, if you post there, you have to be ready to talk to maybe just one other person for 45 minutes. I like Hopper a lot, but that’s tough. I would’ve enjoyed this one a couple of years ago when I was last injured though.

The Matrix – It’s a long way out there – it may be in Union county. But solid crew usually. And I enjoy the square track and the weird half-buried tires in the back.

Horsey – No way. I went once a few years ago and my legs are still tired. I just don’t need that in my life.


Horsey – No way. I went once a few years ago and my legs are still tired. I just don’t need that in my life.
The Matrix – It’s a long way out there, but solid crew usually. I enjoy the square track too.

Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the expressway?

22 men gathered in an elementary school parking lot this morning. Don’t tell Geraldo, but there were three female ruckers leaving the parking lot as I pulled in. Their blinky and headlight game was strong. Anyway, we had an FNG among us (Mimi – he was wearing an Indians hat, Drew Carey is from Cleveland, Mimi was a character on the Drew Carey show), so the disclaimer was airtight. Hops ditched his men’s group finally to post at Hydra and found a rowdy bunch.

We ran down to HT for a quick warmup – it was by far the loudest COP I’ve ever been a part of. Not the cadence counting, mind you, but the general conversations about who knows what. You better have your Q loins girded up when you tackle the Hydra. The boys are unrelenting. Anyway, AYG back to the school (aggressive). Then we went over to the church for some rocks and running sets. Then back to the concession area for some benches and running sets. I killed a few minutes with a wall sit/burpee combo, then we got over to the field for some Mary and running sets. There was A LOT of complaining about the wet grass. Bring a towel. You’ll be fine.

Other observations:
– Sprockets is fast. He got back to the school and through a lap on the mini track by the time we got there. Come to Fast Twitch!
– I think Floor Slapper got to the workout at 5:45, after we got back to the school.
– Hopper has clearance to do merkins again after a long recovery from shoulder surgery. He claims the doc told him never to do burpees again. Semi Gloss must go to the same doctor.
– Jet Fuel joined the pre-workout circle with his shirt untucked, jeopardizing his Dick’s Sporting Goods modeling contract.

Announcements:
– Beer Run this Saturday, starting at noon. Check out the Slack Channel.
– Beer Mile on 6/7 at 7:00 pm. Check out the Slack Channel.
– Paintball on 6/8 – see Pop Tart for details.

Being a fake is what I do best.

[I went deep into the Chevy Chase filmography for that quote – Funny Farm. Not his best work, but still…]

Purell continued his mission this week to try to to make us run in circles for an hour. 8 men weren’t having it and showed up at Latin for Rogue Twitch. Inspired by a 4-year-old backblast from the days of yore when Cheese Curd posted at Fast Twitch, when we actually did exercises, and when there were a lot more normal-speed guys, we got after it this morning. I worked up a 1.5 mile route through campus with just the right amount of hills to make it awful. There were four stops where some guys did 10 reps of an exercise. Everybody got four laps in, some got almost 5. It was a beast of a loop.

I was hoping for a little more interaction with the Hawks/Hawk’s/Hawks’ Nest guys, but Sardine kept them on the lacrosse field most of the time. They all looked pretty angry when we joined them at 6:15.

Turkey Leg missed the introductory lap, but was happy to ditch the Hawks Nest guys and join us at 5:30. After a slow second lap, Alf recovered and joined Joker towards the front. In a rare FT appearance, Voodoo went out strong then came back to the pack a little. Not all the way back to where I was, but still. One Eye, Ductwork, Fault Line and I took turns at the six but all kept working hard. Those hills didn’t stop.

Beer Mile is on 6/7 at 7:00 pm. Join the Slack channel for details.

No gloves necessary, that ain’t no old-time asphalt.

Posted on behalf of Olympic silver medalist, BOG

10 PAX heeded the call of spring and braved YHC’s semi-virgin Q (VQ was Hydra also, but I was last minute sub).  Weather was spot on perfect at 64 degrees and

The Thang

Mosey around school to CoP for warm-up in newly paved, smooth parking lot

20 SSH

20 Imperial Walkers

20 Mountain Climbers

20 LSS

10 Peter Parker and 10 Parker Peters

Native American Run down Summerlin to Abbotswood

7s up and down Abbotswood hill

Burpees and Sister Mary Catherines (Started as 11s, but YHC called audible)

Native American Run to Abbotswood /Windyrush corner

20 Speed Skaters (Should we call them Eric Heidens, Bonnie Blairs, Dan Jansens, or Apollo Anton Ohnos?)

20 Wide Arm Merkins

20 Jump Squats

Native American Run to Benches at OPE

3X

15 Step Ups

15 Dips

15 Derkins

Run to Dumpster

Mosey to Launch

Bear Crawls/Crab Walks across newly smoothed out parking lot

Mary

15 LBCs

15 AmHammers

15 Freddy Mercury

And that was a wrap!

Announcements:

Look for F3 Beer at Stumptown Station in Matthews

Shovel Flag Lager and Side Straddle Hops by Suffolk Punch Brewery

Puddin Pop prayed us out, helping us all to be thankful for the Ultimate Sacrifice many of us celebrate this week.

The Chattah:

With Flutie Flakes visiting from NH, there was a lot to catch up on, including the proper spelling of annals.  Even though there was disbelief that ESPN had a 2 hour special on NFL schedule release, there was quite a bit of chatter about which games would be attended, consensus:  The Big Easy fo sho.  Lots of Bama Swagger about Triple Crowns, Heisman/Nattie etc so we will have to see how that works out.  Also, YHC learned quite a but more than I’d hoped to about ping pong and Thailand – had ta be there.  Truly enjoyable group everyone, thanks for the opportunity.