Author Archive Gummy

Did you see the size of my weinke?

[Written by Cooter]

26 men gathered at the church for my VQ to be split with Gummy. As the Pax arrived from all directions it started getting real and I began to worry that Gummy wouldn’t show. Alas, he arrived exactly 4 minutes prior to launch with no shoes on – that was cool. As the tension mounted I remembered that Gummy had adequately prepared me for my VQ. He inspected my Weinke not 1 but 2 times and provided multiple rounds of commentary. With that in mind and my Weinke in my hand, the clock struck 7:00 and it was time to start the show. Disclaimers were disclaimed and off we went.

Warmup started as smooth as sandpaper as I totally forgot how to cadence count. It turns out Gummy was right as he tried to warn me that my stage fright would get the better of me. We managed to get this done:

SSH X 15 IC
IW X 15 IC [Editor’s note: He had to pull out his laminated weinke after the IWs]
Merkin X 15 IC
MC X 15 IC

Moseyed over to the rock pile and everyone grabbed a good lifting rock. Watch out for snakes. With rocks in hand we lifted as follows:

Curls X 10
Overhead presses X 10
Tricep extensions X 10
Repeat with 8, 6, 4, and 2

Dropped our rocks like a bad habit and headed over to the hotbox for some more fun:

Partner up and P1 runs to home plate and back while P2 finds a picnic table for 20 step ups (10 each leg) and 20 dips. Switch and repeat. We planked up until everyone was in.

Then we moseyed to the ball field where we lined up “abreast” at the 3rd trash can. Sprint to last trash can, 10 count, and sprint back. We did this 4 more times. This was a crowd pleaser. [Editor’s note: that is sarcasm]

By now we’d worked up a good lather so it was time to get on our 6 for some Mary. Some Pax were not so happy to sit in the grass. We started hearing things like, “watch out for the ants”, and “can we do this in the parking lot instead”, and something about someone’s coccyx…however, the Pax persevered and we did:

Flutter X 15 IC
Dolly X 15 IC
LBC X 15 IC

We then moseyed “over yonder” to the grassy knoll for Jacob’s Ladder:

6 squats at top of hill and 1 burpee at bottom. Repeat until 1 squat at top and 6 burpees at bottom. Ouch.

This brought us to the half way point but I was having such a good time that Gummy gave me permission to continue, so we continued:

Over to the parking lot to find a partner. Demo was given showing how P1 was to plank while P2 did 10 Derkins using P1’s back. Then switch. You had to be there. Then we ran to the light pole where we did the same thing but this time old school sit ups were the exercise of choice. One more round of that and we planked and/or fluttered until Gummy took the keys.

[Begin Gummy-authored section]

We ran through the hotbox for a drink of water, then handed it off to Taffy (my 2.0) for a surprise guest Q. He led us over to the dreaded North Face for a Bermuda Triangle. 10 jump squats at the bottom, 10 each leg (excessive) Sister Mary Catherines at the top, 10 Monkey Humpers before going down the hill. Punk teenager.

I led us in a little recovery Mary, then over to the front rockpile for a poorly explained Catch Me If You Can. Even Taffy gave me crap on the way around. Whatever. We got it done, then headed back to the cars.

[End Gummy’s section]

Announcements:

FNG – welcome Stevie Wonder! Welcome to the fold. He’s Norseman’s son and went to the Citadel and recently left the Army as a Captain after 5 years. Thank you for your service! Keep coming back.

Gummy told us about a Brewery Run on 8/18 starting at noon at Sugar Creek. 6 breweries in 4 miles. Check out the slack channel for more information.

Runstopper reminded us about coffeeteria right after the workout at Starbucks down the street, then he also took us out in prayer.

Thank you for making my VQ so memorable! I did not expect 26 PAX. It was my honor to lead you men for the first 35 minutes. Thanks for all the prep, Gummy.

That’s all part of the experience, honey.

We all know F3 guys who still pay to go a gym or club – Spackler and Jet Fuel have Orange Theory, Hopper has Raintree, Puddin’ Pop has The Lodge. But today, something spectacular happened at The Fishing Hole.

The 7 men who gathered were vigorously disclaimed, then headed over to the parking deck. We did various warmings up on the way up to the top floor where we finished our warm up with the standard IW/MC/Squat trio. Partner up and run down the deck, stopping at each turn for 10 partner derkins or 10 old school situps.

Head out of the deck to the picnic tables in front of the school. 10 jump ups, 10 incline merkins, 10 dips. Repeat with 15 reps then again with 10.

Mosey across the street to the shopping center. Upon reflection, we decided to gather in the lot in front of Planet Fitness to show them what they were missing. On the way in, Margo said the last time he’d been in that parking lot, Haze had come walking out of Planet Fitness. We started dropping a Dirty McDeuce right there in the parking lot – 12 reps of three exercises, then a lap around that median over there. Repeat 4 times total. During our third lap, wouldn’t you know that Haze walks by on his way to his car from the gym. Chelms called it the Walk of Shame. Apparently you don’t get yuge like Haze without actual weight equipment – lifting drainage rocks is not enough. Haze was a good sport, taking the verbal assault from the PAX and joining us for a couple of exercises (not the run though).

We got back to the parking deck and ran out the clock by running the stairs a couple of times, plank walk with merkins and some protractor.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead, guys. Fun crowd this morning. My week of Qs wraps up on Saturday – Cooter (not the Metro or Huntersville one) and I are splitting the Q at RockZero. This is his VQ – I’ve seen his Weinke, and it’s magnificent.

Announcements:
Sign up for the Crane Relay. It’s going to be a lot of fun.
If you prefer beer with your running, check out the #beerrun channel on Slack. 8/18 at noon – 6 breweries, 4 miles. We did it last year and had a great time sweating on the millenials at the breweries.

It’s a non nutrative cereal varnish

17 men assembled for an assault on the biggest and best AO in Area 51. Once disclaimed, we proceeded thusly.

Yog through the expansive front yard, ignoring the early complaints from Haze about the uneven terrain. The abundance of private school AOs has softened the PAX. Haze used to be Yellow Rose-parking lot tough. Gather up near the traffic light for a sensible warmup consisting of IW, MC and 6-count burpees (for Hops). AYG down the sidewalk on 51 to the first entrance on the left. Select a lifting rock and head up to the islands parking lot.

Line up abreast at the first island. With your rock, 5 curls, 5 OH press, 5 tricep extensions, then run to the last island and back to your rock. Take your rock to the next island and repeat from there all the way through the parking lot. Purell and Scabby earned bonus points (redeemable for “Legends of Area 51” autographed memorabilia) by running through the last island all the way to the curb. Recover with more lifting (without the running). We left our rocks there for safekeeping.

Mosey over to the hill next to the ball field for a little weave run up and down the hill, working our way towards the hotbox. Utah was either confused or angry and just wandered around for a few minutes during this part. He seemed ok by the end though. Muster in the hotbox and select a bench – 5 jump ups, 10 derkins, 15 dips then go touch the first trash can and back to your bench. Repeat for all 7 trash cans. Ouch. Recover with some People’s Chair and BTW. Turkey Leg questioned the practicality of BTW – easy for him when he weighs 78 pounds. Try holding my 215 up there. Udder successfully got all the way up to putting his Bs on the W – impressive. The church will want to wipe that part of the wall down though.

Head back over to where we left our rocks. Partner up. Partner A takes both rocks and starts towards their home while partner 2 does 5 HR merkins and chases. Repeat until the rocks are home. A little Mary there and then back at the launch to run out the clock.

Good times. Join me for my 3rd of 4 Qs this week tomorrow at The Fishing Hole.

Announcements:
Sign up for the Crane Relay out in Ballantyne in late October. I’m in. http://f3southcharlotte.com/2018/07/14/the-crane-relay/

Tuck has set up the 2nd annual Beer Run (not to be confused with the Beer Mile). 6 breweries. 4 miles. 8/18 at noon. Sign up for the #beerrun Slack channel for more details. You want to do this.

Kent, I believe the pyramidal tracks are housing development outside of Cairo.

14 men gathered in a middle school parking lot to get the week started off right. Through some kind of scheduling glitch, I have four Qs this week – Base Camp, Anvil, Fishing Hole and RockZero (split with Cooter for his VQ). Should be fun. Anyway…

Mosey down to the track for a moving warmup.
Here and There (15 jump squats over there, then 5 CDDs here, 10/10, 5/15).
AYG 400
Here and There again with merkins and lunges
Yog up to the rock pile. Partner up and grab a rock. Partner 1 does the exercise while partner B runs the sidewalk loop and bunny hops up the stairs. Flapjack and repeat. Curls, overhead press, triceps.
Down to the bleachers for partner derkins and situps. Then 10/10/10 step ups/derkins/dips on the bleachers.
Finally, over to the field for my go-to time killer, sprints with 10-count in between.
Done

Observations:
– It was good to see Dora for the first time in a while. Less nice to hear him complain the whole time, but still.
– Apologies to Thumper for confusing him with Heartbreaker. Similar speed, body type and red hat. Thumper checked my self confidence for me after the AYG 400 as we finished together when he said something like, “at least we didn’t have to push it at the end”. I had definitely pushed it.
– Costanza has the worst Dolly form that I’ve ever seen.
– Watch out for Sardine and Thumper at Hawks Nest tomorrow. They are ready to break out of the moderate comfort zone. Dudes are both fast.
– Slumdog is posting 8 days a week lately. Keep working, brother.
– Fun crowd this morning – thanks for the opportunity.

Announcements:
Check out the preblast for the Crane Relay. http://f3southcharlotte.com/2018/07/14/the-crane-relay/

Anniversary pole dancing redux

23 men gathered in an elementary school parking lot this morning to help me celebrate 5 years of F3, whether they knew it or not.

I first posted after a few months of “what is this F3 thing about” conversations with Stage Coach and Baracus (who texted me at 5:10 this morning to say he “overslept” and wouldn’t make it). I’d been running for several years before that, so I was in ok shape (faster than I am now, actually) but the burpees and core work kicked my butt. And I had been on my own during the running years. The chatter, encouragement, harassment, etc. that I found in that group of guys that morning had me hooked right away. 49er led that first workout. I remember the guys (Tiger Rag in particular) giving him the business the whole time – there were suggestions about what he could do with his whistle, pole dancing jokes, form mockery and cheating. But there were clearly friendships in there too. The workouts are great, but it’s knowing that our bros are going to be out there that keeps us all coming back.

The Thang – we ran back my FNG post. Here’s the backblast:

Men Can Pole Dance Too.

Then, because apparently we’re much faster than we were 5 years ago, we ad-libbed a few things to make up 10 mins at the end.

The return of the whistle and pole hugging were not popular. Some things should stay in the history books. Thanks to all the guys who came out. Mud Run team Slow and Steady was well represented with 4 of 5 members of the lineups we ran out there for a few races (Hopper, Cottonmouth, Lazy Boy and me – only Mall Cop was missing). Some of the guys from the beginning were there – I remember running off of Haze’s shoulder at Fast Twitch back when we used the track and FT was only 45 mins. Good ol’ days. Alf drove 16 whole minutes, way out of his bubble, to his first ever post at Hydra. Stage Coach’s comeback tour continued. Even Semi Gloss was there!

Comments and words of wisdom:
– This 7/4/13 Convergence workout is Area 51 legend thanks to Joker’s prison yard partner exercises. It was my second or third post overall. I remember being so glad that I found a group of guys who gave each other so much crap (all in good fun) while putting in work. There was plenty of material at this workout.

Area 51 July 4th Convergence

– It probably took me a year of posting before I considered myself part of the group. I was fine to stay quiet, watch others and laugh, but once I got comfortable with my place in the PAX, I looked forward to workouts a lot more. That comfort came from getting to know guys at workouts, HDHH, etc. If you’re fairly new, keep posting; go to happy hours, Ghost Runner, etc. – events that are a little more social where you can get to know a few people. Those connections will lead to others.
– If you’ve been around a while, help the new guys get connected. Partner up with someone you don’t know well – don’t pick the same guys all the time. Invite guys to happy hours to help them connect. If you don’t get it done at a workout, there is a master list of PAX that Wingman, Mermaid and other board members can use to get you an email address.
– If there is someone you don’t know or can’t remember their name, ask them who they are. Maybe it will be embarrasing and the guy will say, “Dude, we’ve been at this workout together for six months”, but maybe it’s a fairly new guy or somone who is visiting.
– Reach out to guys who have been AWOL for awhile. Don’t harass them, but let them know that you miss having them out there. I took a couple of months off this winter (it was cold) and a bunch of guys kept up with me. It meant a lot.

There were no announcements. I think everyone was too emotional to think clearly.

Deeeeeep River

11 men gathered in a church parking lot this morning. Strawberry cried for a substi-Q all week. I finally caved on Friday morning and got Hopper to join me. We planned an old school beatdown – planned may be a little strong. We had a beer or three on Friday afternoon. Good enough. We decided to bring some old stuff back and spent the evening (or my morning pregame routine time in my case) perusing old backblasts for some material.

Hopper Q:
Standard COP
Mini beast on the islands parking with PARTNER CARRIES between the islands. Very popular.
Ring of fire with merkins.
Partners run the length of the soccer fields with OVER/UNDERS halfway and at the end. Also popular.
Also Mary mixed throughout

Gummy Q:
Yog over to the sandpit for a quick wounded bear crawl or two.
Over to the picnic tables for the ol’ one partner does an exercise while the other runs over there and back.
Back to the field for partner push and pull. Hard to explain, but I think we’ll bring that one back again.
7s on the hill.
TUNNEL OF LOVE – at least one guy (Cooter) had never done it. Definite crowd pleaser.
10 sprints on the field with 10 counts in between.
Indian run back to the launch.

There’s been a lot of chatter lately about how we’re getting soft. All parking lots. No mud. No wetness. No touching each other. We need to bring some of that stuff back out. Partner carries probably shouldn’t be on the weinke very often, but a lot of us got into F3 back when we used to come out wet and muddy every time. That’s the stuff you don’t get to do in your normal life. You can run down a sidewalk, up a hill, around a parking lot anytime. But you aren’t going to jump through a sand volleyball court, carry another man, or get your butt wet in the grass on your own. Let’s work that stuff back into the workouts occasionally.

My 5-year F3 anniversary is this week. I’m Q at Hydra where we’ll run back my very first workout. Should be fun. Thanks to the guys this morning for playing along – I had a lot of fun out there.

You know, my kidneys feel a lot better in this position

6 men gathered for a not-so-moderate workout this morning. Well, 5 gathered, Moon River found us in the church’s front yard at about 7:05. Anyway, we did a bunch of exercises that you don’t care about if you weren’t there. Suicides in the church yard, some rock work at the church, Dirty McDeuce at the new benches and using the short track, people’s chair, escalator with merkins then later with jump squats, some Mary, a few pullups and so on.

Moleskine:
– Tclaps to Deep Dish for running in and out (3 miles one way). I stopped on my way by him (because he was walking, but he waved me on). Apparently Runstopper wasn’t as nice and just heckled him as he drove by. I heard that Runstopper almost hurled at RockZero later. #kharma
– Lots of good chatter about parenting teens. My oldest goes to college in the Fall (App State). Deep Dish is deep into 17-year-old boy parenting. It’s not easy. Talk to someone who has already been through it and get some advice. The big takeaway from this morning: If you’re still doing your teenager’s laundry, stop now.
– Furley’s name came from his love of Three’s Company. Apparently we already have a Mr. Roper. Chrissy would be a good nickname for a fast FNG.
– It gets really hot at these 7:00 am workouts through the summer. Don’t be a hero. None of us get paid for this. Snoopy was cramping up during our workout (upon questioning, apparently not menstrual). I heard from the RockZero crowd that Runstopper had a little episode. Take care of yourself. Drink water if you need to. Take a break. Qs – watch the PAX. If you see a guy struggling in the heat, be smart.

Thank you, Costanza, for the invitation to lead. I always enjoy taking the wheel at Ascent. Good work by all the guys this morning.

Announcements:
– Convergence at the Big House in Pineville on Monday to support Dumpster Fire whose brother died recently. Let’s get a big crowd out there.

No, I’ll have it right here.

11 men gathered in a middle school parking lot on a cool-ish (but still 99.9% humidity) morning. After the obligatory lap around the parking lot to pick up Floor Slapper, we headed down to the track for a roving warmup. Clockwise around the track, stopping occasionally for various warmings up. (“You’re making this up as you go, aren’t you?” “No way. The weinke clearly says “Warmup”.”) Then gather at one end of the track to unleash a Dirty McDeuce. Haze brought this back at Hydra a few weeks ago – from the official F3 Nation website: “4 sets of 3 exercises done to 12 4-count reps. Each set has one chest exercise, one leg exercise and one core exercise. After each set of three exercises, you run a lap of a track or whatever else is handy (parking lot, etc.)”. BTW – take a look through the “Exercises” section of that site before your next Q and pull something out that you wouldn’t normally do. Spice things up. I can’t remember exactly what exercises we did. I may have called LBCs twice. Oh well.

After cleaning up the mess from the McDeuce, we ventured over to the sidewalk with the dugouts for a little People’s Chair/BTW recovery. Then gathered at the bleachers for the classic “Partner 1 runs the stairs loop while partner 2 stands around and pretends to do the called exercise”. Finished up with a little Mary, then back to the cars. Boom.

Topics of conversation during the workout:
– Puddin’ Pop and Flutie had a long talk about old drummers from Rush and the Rolling Stones. Apparently the Rush drummer is the best ever.
– The Canadian legends, Bob and Doug McKenzie, whose song “Take Off” included a solo from Geddy Lee of Rush. Not mentioned during the workout, but something from that album (Great White North) that I still use today – to convert from celsius to fahrenheit, double it and add 30. It will get you surprisingly close. You’re welcome.
– Does New Hampshire have its own syrup or is that just a Vermont thing?
– Puddin’ Pop tried to take credit for inventing the Rosalita and insists that 90 degrees is the proper form. I go with 45 degrees.
– Hammy was out there for his second post. Fast dude.

Announcements:
– Get on the Slack channel for #thesandbox. It’s a great organization that helps families of kids with life-altering illnesses. Transporter hooked F3 up with them and there are opportunities to help out. It can be a low stress, no long-term commitment way to help out – I spent two hours cutting a family’s grass; others spent a few hours this past weekend helping a family move out of an apartment. Get on the Slack channel to watch for ways you can step in and help out.

Thanks to Header for taking us out and to Puddin’ Pop for handling the mumblechatter while I was busy leading a workout.

Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the express way?

Erector put out a call for Qs at The Arsenal a couple of weeks ago. Fresh off a trip to Indian Land to mow the grass at the Sandbox family that F3 helps out (check out the #sandbox Slack channel to learn more), I felt like I could make the trip south again for my first Q out of NC. I gassed up the Jeep last night, checked all the fluids and packed a breakfast in case I got lost. Google Maps said 25 mins. I left at 5:00 – we got this. I passed several other Thursday workouts to get there – nobody at Hydra yet, but I saw some guys gathering for Devils Turn, passed close to Rebel Yell, maybe some in Ballantyne. I passed the Foxhole (I love the Foxhole), then safely across the border. I didn’t need gas, liquor or fireworks on this trip into SC. My destination was Indian Land Elementary.

Erector and Ringer got back from their prerun, Cobbler pulled in right at 5:30. Off we go. I had never been to the site before, but my Google Maps research indicated that there was a football field and a track. I’ve led plenty of workouts with nothing more, so that’s what I had in mind. Welp. The gates were locked and there wasn’t a way in to the field. NBD, let’s go over to this field over here instead while I make something up.

Circle up for a cursory warmup (no SSH). Run back and forth a little to loosen up. Then gather in the middle next to that orange piece of trash. One guy runs to the goalpast while the other do exercises (HR merkins, LBCs, CDDs). Rotate through all four spots. Over to some strange piece of equipment that had barbell weights on it – just as I planned. Two guys run over there and touch that thing (right next to a chicken coop, apparently) while the other two do weight stuff. Three trips each for curls, OH press and triceps. Over to the hill (they call it Dragon’s Back or something) for a Triple Nickle. Jump squats at the top, merkins at the bottom. Recover with a little wall sit against the bathroom (apparently heated and always unlocked, btw). Mosey over to the playground for a few pullups. Then to the picnic tables for 10 jumpups, 10 dips, 10 derkins, then run around the playground. Repeat. Mary for a bit. Then head back to the cars with a stop for a plank walk merkin thing. Finish up with a little mary and 5 burpees. Done.

Thanks for having me out to Indian Land, guys. Great AO and some hard working guys. It’s cool to put in work with new guys occasionally. I get tired of Semi Gloss.

 

Where did you learn your Russian, JC Penney?

13 men assembled in one of many giant parking lots at Calvary for Anvil. After confirming the language with Haze, I plagiarized Mermaid’s disclaimer language, and off we went.

Warmup jog over to the islands parking lot. MCs and IWs, then line up abreast for suicides with 5 jump squats at the islands, 5 HR merkins at the start. There are a lot of islands. This was maybe an aggressive way to start things off. A little Mary and lunge walking to recover. Stop in another parking lot for assume plank walk with merkins, then over to the grassy hill.

Jacob’s Ladder to 7 with Burpees at the top, heels to heaven at the bottom. I may have skipped the last set to make sure I could breathe for the next part.

Yog over to the hotbox wall to recover in people’s chair. Then AYG to the building across the parking lot. A little Mary to catch our breath, then AYG back to the wall. Haze was very worried about his watch/Strava pace during this part.

Mosey over to the rock pile. Partner up and pick a big rock. Partner 1 takes off with the aforementioned rock in a counter-clockwise direction around the church. Partner 2 does 5 HR merkins then catches partner 1. Keep doing that all the way around the church and back to the rock pile. This was one of my regular things during The Rock back in the day, so I was surprised to hear so much disbelief. Hopper lodged a complaint at this point that he got poison ivy in his eye during one of the merkins. There’s a form to fill out for that. Send it to Mermaid.

We ran out the time exactly as I had planned with some Mary and sprints.

Haze complained a lot about me not saying “starting position, move”. Still, he knew when to move. Ickey didn’t like that we went past the picnic tables without doing dips. That’s about all the feedback I recall.

A special welcome to Van Pelt, back for a visit from Winston-Salem.

Beer Mile this Friday at 6:30 pm. See the preblast posted yesterday and the #beermile channel on Slack for more details. I think we have a good crowd coming out including some spectators. Join us!