Author Archive Gummy

Not since breakfast

11 guys gathered in a church parking lot on a rainy Saturday morning. According to section 7, part b, subpart i of the RockZero manifesto, today was to be a light day. The men were disclaimed, and off we went. McGee complained immediately when we cut through the moist front yard and he got his shoes wet. We gathered near the intersection for a quick warmup (IW, MC, Monkey Humpers – Jet Fuel is terrible at Monkey Humpers) then started toward Davie Park.

We gathered near the gate of the dog park driveway. AYG to the second street light, then easy back to the first for 10 situps (more complaining from McGee about counting the light poles). AYG to the third, easy back to the second, situps. Repeat all the way to the end. My weinke was less detailed at this point – it said something like (“do stuff at the park”), so we improvised. We did plank walks with merkins on the parking spots, then 7s on a hill we found behind the building there. We explored a little more back there – some trails, a tennis court, picnic tables, sand volleyball – did some stuff, then AYG back to the gate. Ugh.

Recover with a little mary, then over to the playground. We discovered some fancy new playground equipment there, including a police line around a missing swing. There were lots of theories about what happened there, but we pressed on. Partner 1 does a hot lap around the lot while partner 2 does an exercise. Repeat for a few laps.

Then we headed back to the church via Indian Run, mixing in a little backwards/forwards running on the driveway. Time killers at the end included sets of 10 merkins, jumpups and dips on the picnic tables next to the building and the requisite “line up abreast and sprint to that other pole over there”. Done

I had low expectation for numbers this morning, but the guys came through. The rain mostly held off. If you don’t normally post on Saturdays, give it a try. The 7:00 start at RockZero is a nice change from the weekdays, and it’s a good group of guys. Today was a bonus since the rain meant everybody’s youth sports were cancelled, so we had a good crowd at Starbucks afterwards. Haze even stopped by again after his running club meeting.

Also, I’m having cake for breakfast.


Hop-along Cassidy. Bow and arrow. Very Weird.

Eleven men gathered in a luxurious parking lot on the campus of Charlotte Latin this morning. The boys from Skunkworks made the long drive over from their own private school to join us.

Mosey through the climate controlled outdoor hallways to a parking lot for a quick warmup. Does Busch ever get tired enough to not talk during a workout? No matter, off we go for a quick lap down the hill to the track, down the straightaway, out the gate on the turn and back up to the top of the bleachers. Groups of three – one runs that way down the hill to the straightaway on the track, one runs the other way – 10 handslap merkins when they meet on the track. Partner 3 runs bleacher stairs in the meantime. Situps when all three meet at the top. Three times through.

Down to the field (real grass, none of that carcinogenic fake stuff that the other private schools use) and line up abreast on one sideline. Lunge walk halfway, bear crawl the rest. Repeat. Then AYG 400. Recover with a little Mary, then up to a wall on a building near a staircase. Alternate People’s Chair and BTW while one guy runs down the hill and back up the stairs. Once everybody ran, then over to a nearby low wall for 20 dips, 15 derkins, 10 jump ups. Repeat.

Down to a parking lot with islands. Suicides – 10 jump squats at first island, back to start for 10 CDDs. Same thing at second and third island. Mary break, then repeat but start with the far island. Mosey up the hill to the back field (so many fields) for gassers. 10 sprints across the field with a 10-count between each. Back to the launch for a little Peter Parker/Parker Peter to run out the clock. Done.

The Fast Twitch guys were nowhere to be seen. The Hawks Nest crew got antsy 30 seconds after 6:15 and started leaving, so we did our own COT. Latin is a great AO – we’re still figuring out the features and haven’t nicknamed anything yet (except maybe the Labyrinth for the crazy outdoor hallways) like the Hot Box, Grandma, North Face, Semi Gloss’s office. But so many options for hills, fields, stairs, etc. Good stuff. If you haven’t checked it out yet, come out sometime soon. The joint COT with the Fast Twitch PAX is fun too – if you think it’s fun to hear them complain about running hills.

I’ll have a Bloody Mary and a steak sandwich and… a steak sandwich, please.

13 men gathered in a soggy parking lot for the weekly assault on the urban oasis that is Waverly. Pro tip: don’t try to scout this AO during the dinner rush – lots of people driving their giant SUVs to the latest trendy fast casual restaurants. McGee says the happy hour at Ted’s Montana Grill is a good deal, but apparently because the food is bad. I hear that Alf hangs out at the Carolina Ale House. Anyway, FNG in attendance, so the disclaimer was really good. The FNG (Kozar) said he posted a few years ago and even went to a movie with F3 guys, but doesn’t remember his name (sure). Onward…

Mosey over to a parking lot towards the front for a cursory warmup. It was hard to hear the counting over Busch’s chatter – he has a lot of stuff to talk about at 5:30. Over to the parking deck for the first real action. Partner up – one partner up that staircase, the other partner up the other staircase. Meet at the top for 10 hand slap merkins. Back down the stairs, 10 more merkins. We did that three times.

Over to the fancy park area with some very nice fake grass that is either for the kids to play on or for dogs to pee on. Partner 1 does derkins and dips while partner 2 does the stairs again. Flapjack and repeat with incline merkins and jump ups. Some Mary to recover a bit. Then yog out of the shopping area, past the Mattress Firm (empty at 6:00 am like it is at 6:00 pm), then gather at the top of the best hill we could find.

Suicides on that hill with jump squats at each driveway. Over to a nearby wall for jump ups and merkins, then another set of suicides. Run back over the launch for a little Mary to wrap things up.

Good work by the PAX this morning. The rain mostly held off until the end. I appreciate the feedback I received from Alf, McGee and others during the workout. Iron sharpens iron.

Ever serve time, Doc?

8 men (including Moon River who inspired the backblast title) gathered in an elementary school parking lot this morning, ready to start the day off right. Goon had some business to attend to in one of the bushes first (risky that close to a school – he says it only counts if kids are there). Once he got things taken care of, off we went.

Mosey to the bus lot for a cursory warmup (IW, Squats, etc.). Then to one of the baseball fields for the first real action. Line up abreast on the third base foul line – get from that line to a line even with second base via lunge walk or bear crawl, do 10 merkins. Back from whence we came for 9 merkins, and so on. Recover with Mary, then over the concession benches for step ups, dips and merkins.

Yog through the back of campus (with a brief intermission for People’s Chair) and back to the Foxworth hill for Triple Nickel. Recover with Mary again, then we made our way up the road to the church rockpile. Get a partner and a rock – partner 1 does the exercise while partner 2 runs to the road and back. Repeat with 100 curls, then 100 overhead presses, then 75 tricep extensions. Mosey over to the fancy new benches (which inspired Councilman Dumpster Fire for improvements in Pineville) for more partner work. Partner 1 does the exercise on a bench while partner 2 runs around that tree over there. Repeat with step-ups, dips and incline merkins. Back to the cars for a little more mary, then done.

2.8 miles. Not bad for a “moderate” workout. The boys put in hard work this morning. My goal for Qs at these moderate workouts is to keep guys together and pick some things that guys can adjust to higher or lower intensity as necessary. Mix in some Mary, People’s Chair and planks between hard stuff to give guys a chance to recover. Moderate doesn’t mean easy. Mission accomplished this morning. We had a couple of nice discussions about Pineville politics (are you pro- or anti- increasing the number of German restaurants in town) and the Second Amendment (assuming the cannon in front of the nearby neighborhood is covered by that – leftover from the great war of OP in the 1970s). Thanks for having me over – Ascent was my VQ almost 5 years ago, so I like getting back there. Plus it gave me a good excuse to not go to McGee’s burpee-fest at RockZero.

Bonus coffeeteria backblast (Gummy, Purple Haze, Flipper, Rachel, Purell, Fugitive) – after weeks of waving to us from across the street, Haze finally made the long walk over to Starbucks to hang out with us. It was getting awkward for all of us that he waved every week but never came over. Hurtful. The highlight was a discussion of the Nickname Hall of Fame – Egypt (last name Bohmfalk), Funky Cold (last name Miedema) – and nicknames that the censors later rejected (Morning Wood, Wanker, Sex Panther). Good times. Other topics included triathlons, half marathons, breweries, calf injuries and Clemson basketball.


And wash those windows. They’ve got filth and muck on them.

9 men gathered for this week’s installment of Hydra. Special thanks to Marge and Pro for participating in the group text last night only to no-show this morning. Hops is out with a back. Semi Gloss is working on his 5th straight injury. Hannibal only posts when he Qs, otherwise he’s on his fancy indoor yoga bike. No matter – the rest of us we there and ready to go. So after a apparently emotion-free disclaimer, we disappeared quickly into the depths of the AO.

Yog to the field at the back of the AO. Lots of peril along the way, but I think everyone made it. COP with various exercises with a burpee countdown in-between (IW, 10 burpees, merkins, 9 burpees, etc.). This was very popular. I think Hopper did 3 burpees total. Line up (abreast) at the far end of the field. Run to 50ish yard line, 15 reps, back to start, 10 reps, run to far end, 5 reps. We did that three times.

After another dangerous jog through the spooky trail, we gathered at the top of the usual hill behind the AO. Get in groups of three for grinders. We did that for awhile, the moseyed up the road to Rea, stopping at each street light for 5 merkins. Mosey over the benches where I had a little trouble with my instructions. After kind correction by my fellow men, we did 5 derkins, 5 jump ups and 5 inclines. Repeat with 10, then with 5 again. Mosey to the field right behind the school for mary with intermittent “sprints” to run out the clock.

Other notes and observations: Harley didn’t have his customary hat on; that was weird. Hat tip to Horsehead for making the 45 min drive in from East Waxhaw. Puddin’ Pop was complimented on his restraint with his flatulence. He promised to make up for it at Kevlar. I think I heard Tackling Dummy say this was his first post since November – good to have you back. Marge had a weird peach-colored toboggan on. Didn’t slow him down though – he was out front all morning. Thunder Road, fresh off a Base Camp Q earlier in the week, got things done out there. Good stuff, guys.

Can’t see the lines, can you Russ?

Nine men gathered in an elementary school parking lot at 7:00 on a crisp, 24 degree morning. Nice mixed crowd of vets, 2.0s and an FNG. I gave a terrific disclaimer. Trust me, people are saying it was the best disclaimer. It was great. Swiss Miss had warned me beforehand that he was gimpy and would be carrying kettlebells around because he couldn’t run with us. High Tide loves bells, so he had some too. As you read this, imagine us dragging 7-8 bells with us throughout the workout.

Yog over to the front field. Cursory warmup (IW, Slow Squats, Mountain Climbers, hand release merkins). I almost called SSH, but remembered that I don’t do those. Then line up abreast on the sideline. Traverse the field doing interesting (carioca, crab walk, etc.) with a burpee ladder at each sideline (10, 9, 8, etc.).

Over to the concession stand for a starfish of sorts. Partner 1 does a KB swing in the middle, partner 2 runs down one of the four baselines to do an exercise. Flapjack, repeat, etc. Up to the wall on the back of the school for people’s chair/pull-ups/BTW. Over to the side parking lot for Mary (solid 8 minutes), then over the the Tree of Life (tree with benches around it next to the road). Step ups, incline merkins, dips, decline merkins. Over to the front field again for 10 sprints. Done.

FNG was a friend of Goon’s. He owns a manufacturing company, so we settled on Acme.

It’s not going in our yard, Russ.

My multi-channel marketing campaign (HDHH, texts, Twitter, etc.) clearly paid off as 22 men gathered in a church parking lot this morning. The quick rain shower was perfectly timed so most of us had already left the house (too late to go back to bed) but stopped before 7:00. A mediocre, but sufficient, disclaimer was given, and off we went.

Yog over to the big field in front of the church, all the way up to the corner for maximum visibility by passersby. Cursory warmup with IWs (no SSH), Mountain Climber and slow squats. I heard a lot of feedback about my squat form – it hurt my feelings a little.

Gather in the middle of the aforementioned hill for Starfish. 10 reps of something in each of four corners, 5 burpees in the middle. That’s a big field.

Yog over to the parking lot (often used for the Beast). For about 50 yards, drop and touch your chest to each parking lot stripe. Run back to the start when you’re done. Over to a nice, smooth wall in some kind of loading dock area behind the gym for alternating People’s Chair and BTW. AYG to the hotbox – lots of complaints about that.

Partner up. Partner 1 runs around a carefully identified lightpost. Partner 2 does an exercise. Flapjack for four trips each.

Over to the field. Partner up for Prairie Fire Mary and Over/Unders. Line up abreast at the bottom of the hill for Elevens. Jump squats at the top, HR merkins at the bottom.

Line up abreast again for sprints. Group 1 AYG to first trash can and back, then group 2. 3 times total to the first trash can (50 yards), twice to the second trash can (100 yards), once to the fence (a long damn way).

Hopper said he needed to leave early at this point, then proceeded to walk slowly through the parking lot. We caught him pretty quickly. Closed things out with a little Peter Parker/Parker Peter. Done.

Christmas party this Friday
Joe Davis Run coming in early January

I’m missing someone in the PAX list – whoever was between Horsehead and Iron Horse in COT. Let me know if you know who that was.

That’s a Peach hon. Oh golly I’m hot today.

25 men gathered in a middle school parking lot at 5:15. I got a little heat for rolling in at 5:12 and walking right into the middle of a full circle. I know the code is for the Q to be the first one there, but I don’t think that applies for 5:15 workouts. And I was still 3 minutes earlier than I am on most Tuesdays. My pregame routine is very important and can’t be rushed. After a thorough disclaimer, including unwanted details about my aforementioned pregame routine, we headed out for an interval workout. Somebody tripped on the curbs in the parking lot, despite 17 guys yelling “curb” and the fact that those curbs haven’t moved in 5 years.

Warmup run to Davie. Imperial walkers.
AYG to Rea Rd. traffic light. Mary/merkin recovery, then easy jog to the library entrance.
AYG down the hill to the Bevington. This was a little dicey. Running up the hill doesn’t seem so bad, but downhill speed made it dicey. I think this is when Clubber hurt some lower extremity that caused him to limp the rest of the time (except, notably, during the sprints at the end when he seemed all better). Mary/merkin recovery.
Speed hump suicides up Bevington. AYG to hump #2, slow back to #1, AYG to #3, slow back to #2, etc. Ugh. Mary/merkin recovery. Slow mosey to the stop sign at the top of the Coburn half pipe.
Slow to the bottom of the hill, AYG back to the top, slow back down, AYG to the top on the other side (Brownes Pond). Mary/merkin recovery. Yog to Rosecliff with a surprise left turn to the bottom of the cul-de-sac.
AYG to the stop sign at Strawberry. Mary/merkin recovery.
More speed hump suicides to get back to the school. Mary/merkin recovery.
Jog into the parking lot for a few sprints, then done.

Other observations:
– Turkey Leg was killing it out there. And I don’t mean that he was running fast. Maybe skip the Mexican food next time.
– Semi thought it was the right day to unleash his fall wardrobe and showed up in a long sleeve shirt. It was off by the end of the warmup run.
– Swiper went the other way and didn’t bring a shirt at all. Hopefully he had one for the drive home. The wet seatbelt is no good when you get back in the car in your work clothes.
– I stole the Bevington suicides from Prohibition, but I went from Starbucks to Coburn instead of the other way around. Uphill. Mistake.
– Speaking of Prohibition, he posted at Swift this morning. We had 25 without him.
– I think I saw Hannibal die on the last run up to the school. Did anyone see him in COT?

– Southern Discomfort is on 10/21. Should be fun. Buy Body Glide now.


Powdered (dough)Nuts

14 men gathered in a church parking lot this morning, ready for the well-promoted relaunch of RockZero 2.0. Wait, Flipper isn’t coming? Apparently he realized late in the week that his M was out of town this weekend, leaving him in charge of his young son. So we got the four-headed Q of Boerewors, Hoover, Rachel and Ickey Shuffle. The astute reader might ask why I am writing the backblast when there were four Qs who could’ve done it. Because Boerewors asked Hops (who led 90 seconds of Mary at the end) to do it, then Hops texted me and Haze around noon asking one of us to do it because he ended up on the road today. Haze had a lame excuse about leaving his laptop at work. So here we are. Nevertheless…

Joined by a member of the Jacksonville PAX (Farah Farah – apparently a JAX personal injury law firm), Boerewors disclaimed us, then led us across the parking lot to the High T area where Hoover and Ickey were arranging the gear. Standard warmup of SSH (which I, Haze and Hops wisely refused), MC, IW, and Merkins. 38 SSH in honor of Cheech.

We picked a partner, allegedly of the opposite speed (if you’re fast, pick a slow guy), then divided up never to see our partners again. Also, Haze and Ickey ended up in the “fast” group, so something went wrong.

The slow group moseyed over to the rockpile near the ball field where we selected a rock, then did 20x curls, lap around the field, overhead press, lap, triceps, lap, squats, lap. Ugh. Back over to the hill at the end of the big field for sevens (merkins at the top, LBC at the bottom). In the meantime, the “fast” group appeared to be mostly standing around. Haze was grunting loudly as he lifted, excited to be free of the Lunk Alarm at Planet Fitness. Apparently the fast boys got a little crazy with the talcum powder meant to keep their hands dry. Ickey warned them not to adjust themselves after applying the powder – hence the backblast title.

The groups switched places. The slow group did various things with weights (squat, overhead, bus driver, dead lift, lawn mower), while the fast guys ran around the parking lot doing things. I saw Haze across the parking lot apparently keeping up with Alf and Rachel and got excited for him – turns out that he had just been lapped. We met back near the cars for the aforementioned 90 seconds of Mary. Done. There was a competition of shirt wringing out of the BOM which I clearly won. Farah Farah was a close second – apparently as infamous as our Mr. Brady for his post-workout shirt splash.

Ask Geraldo about an upcoming GoRuck event if you’re interested

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

19 men gathered in an elementary school parking lot at 5:30 this morning. After what I thought was an excellent disclaimer, we proceeded thusly.

Yog around the front of the school, all the way back around to the field just behind the school. The complaints about the wet ground started right away. Pulling a page from a Tiger Rag workout long ago, the first exercise was to lay down on your stomach, roll to the right, roll to the left. There you go. You’re wet. No more complaining. IW, MC, Slow Squat. Off to the picnic tables.

Partner up. Partner 1 does the exercise at the tables while partner 2 runs hard to the end of the fence along the baseline of that field right there. Flapjack. Repeat for all four fields. Exercises were derkins, dips, step ups and incline merkins. Recover there with some alternating people’s chair (why do we call it that?) and BTW.

To the back field, then get back with your partner. In one end zone, partner 1 does 15 derkins on the other’s back, to midfield for 15 hand-slap merkins, then to the other end zone for 15 full situps. Flapjack for the other partner going back to the start.

Head through the trail (well lit this time of year) to the hill. Sevens on the hill with jump squats at the top, CDDs at the bottom. Recover with Mary. Then up the hill to Old Providence, stopping at each light on the right for 1 burpee, 2 burpees, etc. That sucked.

Jog to the field where we started for AYG sprints to run out the clock. Done

It’s such a polite crowd at Hydra. Other than Spackler’s constant feedback, I didn’t hear much from the PAX. Hops showed up looking like he’d run 13 miles to get to the workout. Nope, just the 1.5 from his house. It’s going to be a long summer. He eschewed the offers for a ride home afterwards though and finished his run.


F3 Granite (New Hampshire) has launched. Send your friends to see Flutie Flakes.

Ghost Runner (aka Stink ‘n Drink) starts back up tonight. ABC at the Arbo at 7:30 for 4 or 6 miles. Then to Vintners to fight off the ladies while enjoying a beverage.

Horsey McHorseArse starts Monday. 5:30 in the Old Bell parking lot of the McAlpine Greenway. If you’re looking to finish off that overuse injury before BRR season gets too far along, that’s the place to do it.

F3 Dads starts this weekend and continues every Saturday in June. Sounds like it’s at Beatty Park at 9:00, but you should probably confirm before you show up.