Author Archive Gummy

Thank you very little.

14 men took advantage of premium running weather, fought the swim-parent traffic (who are these parents?) and gathered in a luxurious parking lot at 5:15 this morning. After a thorough but choppy disclaimer, we headed out for an assault on Raintree. The planned warm up yog up Providence to Raintree Ln. was interrupted when Runstopper almost took out half the group coming in on two wheels. We went back for him anyway and took the circuitous route through campus instead. We mustered at the 4-way stop sign intersection on Raintree Ln. that needs a cool name (Mt. Raintree?).

In a throwback to the Fast Twitch days of yore, we ran a modified starfish from that intersection. There were four legs to the starfish, run to the end of a leg, do 5 burpees then back to the intersection, 5 burpees. Only the suckers (fast guys) did the burpees, although Ironsides wants credit for doing 100 merkins instead.

Each leg has it’s own personality that is terrible:
Leg 1 – Down Raintree Ln to the creek. The climb back to the intersection is long and awful. It goes on just long enough to crush your will.
Leg 2 – Down into the little townhome community loop. This was the easiest leg by far, but the climb back to the intersection still sucks.
Leg 3 – All the way up to Providence. The hill at the final climb to Providence is brutal. And somehow it still feels uphill most of the way back.
Leg 4 – Down to the (formerly) blinking light. Clearly the worst of the legs – rough climbs in both directions with not enough downhill to make up for it.

We ran that until 6:05 – most guys got in 6-7 legs, then AYG one more time up to Providence. A little LBC to recover, then back to launch.

Turkey Leg was angry this morning and crushed the PAX from the beginning. He’s probably mad at Purell for going to Swift. Purple Haze lashed out at me at the bottom of Leg 1 (the second time). The Raintree traffic is worse than it used to be. We had lots of blinky lights and headlamps, so we were ok, but there were a lot of cars (and bikes). One Eye got honked at at the end. Be smart on the roads – blinky lights are cheap.

Yeah, but not right next to each other. I thought that’s what you meant.

11 men gathered in a school parking lot this morning at the only AO I can think of where we never go off campus. I remember The Shore taking us through the trails in the back once, but that only works in the summer when it’s light. The hills of Horsey are too far away. And the campus is big and diverse. Anyway, here’s what transpired…

Yog down to the track. The temp dropped several noticeable degrees on the way into the valley. Interesting. Chin Music called for an early adjournment when he saw the glistening ice on the track, but we prevailed. Too bad Yeti wasn’t there to turn on the heater for the track and field. Line up abreast for a little back and forth warm up across the field.

Continue the warmup jog around the track, then up Grandmother Mountain to the sidewalk. The recent building expansion included a fence that makes it less fun to get up to the Blue Door, but we figured it out. Partner 1 runs up the sidewalk to the Blue Door while partner B does an exercise. Repeated with both partners doing HR Merkins, Jump Squats and Heels to Heaven. Next, over to the bleachers for more of the same (dips, derkins while a partner ran some stairs).

Assemble next to the playground in plank position (abreast). One PAX does AMRAP pullups (3 for me), then gets back in plank. Next guy up, so on and so forth. Dollywood left after this, at 5:50. I’m impressed that he got up to go to a workout for 20 mins.

Down to the track for the main event. AYG 400, then turn around and recover jog the full 400 again, stopping at each corner for 5/10/15 of an exercise. We did three AYG 400s – exercises were HR Merkins, Jump Squats and Heels to Heaven.

Line up abreast on the goal line in two groups. Group 1 sprints to the 30 yard line and back. Group 2 starts when the last of group 1 crosses the goal line. Continue for 4 turns to the 30, 3 turns to the 50, 1 (cut from 2 to save time) to the other 30 and 1 to the far goal line. Guys always think that sounds easy when I explain it. It’s a real gasser though. The rests are not long enough.

Back up to the start with the usual (back in the days when we hand-signed a waiver before the workout) jailbreak up the parking lot. Done.

Announcements – Joe Davis prices go up (maybe today)

Hop-along Cassidy. Bow and arrow. Very Weird.

Lots of pressure writing a backblast on the same day as Horsehead. Here goes…

26 men gathered at South Charlotte finest Catholic High School for the weekly gathering that is Centurion. Contrary to Purple Haze’s comments, I have posted at Centurion before – a couple of times 3 years ago, but still. I knew where it was, and Google Maps has pretty good satellite imagery of the campus (really, street view is amazing – that’s how I confirmed the location and adequacy of the rock pile just off campus). After a thorough, well thought out disclaimer, we exercised thusly…

10 burpees (Mermaid said the Centurion guys love burpees), then yog over to the parking deck. Up the stairs to the top, IW, then down the ramps with various warmings up. Assemble at the bottom (9 burpees) to point out the loop to be referred to later, then mosey back down near the launch lot.

Dirty McDeuce – 12x in cadence upper body exercise, 12x leg exercise, 12x Mary, then a lap around that loop I told you about. Repeat 4 times total. There were a couple of interruptions by a slow moving car and a passive aggressive security guard on a golf cart. Mermaid assured me that “this doesn’t usually happen”. 8 burpees

Over to the rock pile on the road over there. 7 burpees. Select a partner and one lifting rock per partner. CMIYC around the block with the chaser doing 5 HR merkins and 5 jump squats. Haze was not happy about the rock that Brushback selected. My partner (Runstopper) was easy to spot in his neon tights (At Fast Twitch this week, Runstopper noted that the shorts over tights look is for the benefit of everyone else, not the wearer.) 6 burpees

With same partners, Partner 1 does an exercise with the rock while Partner B runs over there. Repeated with curls, OH press and triceps while the runs got a little longer each time. 5, 4 and 3 burpee sets interspersed. Somewhere in here I heard Lorax ask if Centurion was an hour long now, and I saw Margo checking his watch. Good indicators. Head back to the launch lot with a stop for 2 burpees. Finish with old school situps, then 1 burpee. Boom.

Chelms is taking donations for the Peru trip for 2 more weeks – summer workout clothes.
Sign up for Joe Davis.
Checkpoint wanted to make sure Haze remembered that Clemson is the national champion.

I know Art. And thanks for noticing.

13 men assembled in an elementary school parking lot at 5:30 this morning. For such a cold morning, the pregame fellowship was impressive. Discussion topics included Hopper’s white tights, Semi’s prerun, my birthday festivities the night before, and Sprockets not riding a bike to the workout.

Sleepy rolled in right at 5:30 and off we went. Mosey to the back field (after another delay to gather Thunder Road), then warmup through varying exercises and methods to traverse the field. I appreciated Semi’s constant edification during the early part of the workout. Down the spooky trail which was quite dark this morning – I may have missed the turn. Then gather at the foot of the hill back there for the Triple Nickel.

Recover with a little Mary, then AYG down the road, bang a left then to that road at the stop sign where we usually do stuff. (Probably 800 yards total). Ugh. Recover again with a little Mary.

Muster at the intersection looking up towards Rea Rd. Modified suicides – up two road humps (10 monkey humpers), back one road hump (10 HR merkins). Continue up to Rea Rd. Recover there with some Mary. Yog over to the newer benches around the tree and partner up. Partner 1 runs around the track. Partner B does the exercise. We just did two rounds with derkins and dips, then finished off the time with a little more Mary, including Prairie Fire Mary which is a winter-only exercise for me because of where sweat would drip from.

Other commentary:
– Hopper stained his white tights with a loud blast during the first suicide. Mercy.
– One Eye and Sprockets were out front all morning, with Marge close behind.
– Every time I post with BOG, I tell people all day that I worked out with an Olympic silver medalist.

Sprockets has first full-length Q next week at Hawks Nest (Hawk’s Nest? Hawks’ Nest?) next week. Does Latin have a good sledding hill if we get 8 inches of snow on Monday?

Good work this morning, boys. I’ve been out sick for over a week; it was good to get back out there with the guys. Thanks for posting in the cold.

Do you have anything besides Mexican food?

10 men gathered in a middle school parking lot at 5:30 on a Monday (Actually, 9 gathered. Insomniac joined us at about 5:45. Really. I mean, to show up that late, most of us would have to leave the house after the workout starts at 5:30. I would absolutely go back to bed. Not insomniac.). It was a strangely veteran (old) crew. Until Mailman joined us right at the bell, Thunder Road was the most junior of the PAX at 3+ years. Everyone else in the circle had over 5 years in F3. Interesting.

Perfect workout weather this morning. Right at 50 degrees with clear skies. Since you asked, here is my wardrobe chart for the next 5-6 months.
Above 50 degrees: maybe sleeves, no hat, no gloves
40-50 degrees: sleeves, maybe gloves, no hat
30-40 degrees: sleeves, maybe two layers, hat (which I usually regret), gloves
20-30 degrees: two layers, hat, gloves, still in shorts
Below 20: warm blanket, soft pillow

I gave an adequate disclaimer, including a brief discussion about whether or not any of us were really there of our own free will, or had it been pre-ordained? Regardless…

Mosey a bit, then circle up near the dugouts for the usual warmup (no SSH). Wolfman and Mall Cop obviously hadn’t seen each other for a few days and had a lot to catch up on. Next, we wandered out to the baseball infield grass. Inchworm across, lunge walk back, burpee broad jump across, lunge walk back, burpee broad jump across, lunge walk back.

Yog down the ramp past the railing. Partner up. Partner 1 runs up the ramp to the usual bleachers for 15 monkey humpers, 10 merkins and 5 jump ups. Partner B holds plank. Repeated a few times subbing CDDs for the merkins.

Up to the stairs, bunny hop up the stairs then choose a lifting rock. Gather at one end of the parking lot, lined up abreast. With your rock, 10 curls, 10 overhead presses, 10 tricep extensions, then run to the end of the parking lot and back to your rock. Move the rock up to the next basketball goal and repeat (slightly shorter run each time). A little Mary, then walk the rocks back to their home while doing various lifting things. Huh, still only 6:07? Let’s go down to the track. Hops said something like, “Not my favorite place to kill time”. Noted. I let everyone catch their breath with some Freddy Mercury, then AYG lap. I think I heard Wolf Man say, “I thought he was kidding” as I ran away. Nope. And Hops felt like running hard, so I stupidly tried to hold him off the whole time. AYG 400 sucks.

Other commentary:
– Insomniac has a creepy mustache.
– Lazy Boy and I rolled in at 5:20 to find Fireman Ed standing around looking at his kettlebell while his Jeep was running. Apparently it had been idle for a few days and “needed to run to move the oil around the engine”. I don’t think that’s necessary, but maybe.
– Hopper kept a hoodie on for the whole workout. Seems a little much for 50 degrees, but he is pretty old.
– That was a good start to the week. Thanks for posting, guys.


What does that mean, in-famous?

13 more-than-famous guys showed up at the unusually barricaded and gated Latin parking lot this morning to see what I had in mind for a post-BRR Fast Twitch. I went with a workout that let guys run as fast or slow as they wanted for as long or as short as they wanted.

Based on the Mermaid-born staple at the old Fast Twitch launch site, I mapped out an aggressive (too aggressive?) route through Raintree to the Piper Glen Starbucks. Run as far as you care to in the first 30 minutes (or 28ish if you expect to be slower coming back), then reverse back to the launch parking lot. The route was Raintree to Rounding Run to Woodfox to Strawberry to Rosecliff to Brownes Pond to Coburn to Bevington.

– It’s about 4 miles one-way, so the fastest guys out there may be able to make it all the way there and back. I don’t think anybody made it all the way down Bevington today. Astro, Rosie, Hollywood and Haze were out there, but it looks like they turned around on Bevington (I sure wasn’t there to see it myself). Rachel and Purell were gassed from BRR so they wisely took it as a recovery run. I think some of those guys could make it to Starbucks if they were fresh.
– I prepared turn-by-turn instructions to hand out to those who weren’t around for the old Fast Twitch site and didn’t know the mean streets of Raintree well. I don’t think anyone got lost, so, success!
– My turnaround point turned out to be the bottom of the nasty hill on Coburn. Awesome.
– Hopper said he’ll be at Fast Twitch from now on. Or maybe he said he hated me. I can’t remember.
– It was good to catch up with Joker on the way out. He drug me a little faster than I wanted to go on my own. I finally shook him when Haze ran by and he latched on to him instead.
– Hannibal and Retread did not hide their judgement when they passed after I turned around on Coburn. “You’re turning around already?” I got back at 6:12, so that’s good planning by me.
– Pop Tart stepped up to drag me back to Latin. He stayed just close enough that I wouldn’t let myself walk and lose him. I guess that’s the Iron Sharpening part they talk about. Thanks Pop Tart. Then he got lost going back through campus, so he should’ve waited for me.
– Updated to include Tolkien after he called me out. I remember him running by and saying something encouraging at one point, so I know he was there.

Did you see the size of my weinke?

[Written by Cooter]

26 men gathered at the church for my VQ to be split with Gummy. As the Pax arrived from all directions it started getting real and I began to worry that Gummy wouldn’t show. Alas, he arrived exactly 4 minutes prior to launch with no shoes on – that was cool. As the tension mounted I remembered that Gummy had adequately prepared me for my VQ. He inspected my Weinke not 1 but 2 times and provided multiple rounds of commentary. With that in mind and my Weinke in my hand, the clock struck 7:00 and it was time to start the show. Disclaimers were disclaimed and off we went.

Warmup started as smooth as sandpaper as I totally forgot how to cadence count. It turns out Gummy was right as he tried to warn me that my stage fright would get the better of me. We managed to get this done:

IW X 15 IC [Editor’s note: He had to pull out his laminated weinke after the IWs]
Merkin X 15 IC
MC X 15 IC

Moseyed over to the rock pile and everyone grabbed a good lifting rock. Watch out for snakes. With rocks in hand we lifted as follows:

Curls X 10
Overhead presses X 10
Tricep extensions X 10
Repeat with 8, 6, 4, and 2

Dropped our rocks like a bad habit and headed over to the hotbox for some more fun:

Partner up and P1 runs to home plate and back while P2 finds a picnic table for 20 step ups (10 each leg) and 20 dips. Switch and repeat. We planked up until everyone was in.

Then we moseyed to the ball field where we lined up “abreast” at the 3rd trash can. Sprint to last trash can, 10 count, and sprint back. We did this 4 more times. This was a crowd pleaser. [Editor’s note: that is sarcasm]

By now we’d worked up a good lather so it was time to get on our 6 for some Mary. Some Pax were not so happy to sit in the grass. We started hearing things like, “watch out for the ants”, and “can we do this in the parking lot instead”, and something about someone’s coccyx…however, the Pax persevered and we did:

Flutter X 15 IC
Dolly X 15 IC

We then moseyed “over yonder” to the grassy knoll for Jacob’s Ladder:

6 squats at top of hill and 1 burpee at bottom. Repeat until 1 squat at top and 6 burpees at bottom. Ouch.

This brought us to the half way point but I was having such a good time that Gummy gave me permission to continue, so we continued:

Over to the parking lot to find a partner. Demo was given showing how P1 was to plank while P2 did 10 Derkins using P1’s back. Then switch. You had to be there. Then we ran to the light pole where we did the same thing but this time old school sit ups were the exercise of choice. One more round of that and we planked and/or fluttered until Gummy took the keys.

[Begin Gummy-authored section]

We ran through the hotbox for a drink of water, then handed it off to Taffy (my 2.0) for a surprise guest Q. He led us over to the dreaded North Face for a Bermuda Triangle. 10 jump squats at the bottom, 10 each leg (excessive) Sister Mary Catherines at the top, 10 Monkey Humpers before going down the hill. Punk teenager.

I led us in a little recovery Mary, then over to the front rockpile for a poorly explained Catch Me If You Can. Even Taffy gave me crap on the way around. Whatever. We got it done, then headed back to the cars.

[End Gummy’s section]


FNG – welcome Stevie Wonder! Welcome to the fold. He’s Norseman’s son and went to the Citadel and recently left the Army as a Captain after 5 years. Thank you for your service! Keep coming back.

Gummy told us about a Brewery Run on 8/18 starting at noon at Sugar Creek. 6 breweries in 4 miles. Check out the slack channel for more information.

Runstopper reminded us about coffeeteria right after the workout at Starbucks down the street, then he also took us out in prayer.

Thank you for making my VQ so memorable! I did not expect 26 PAX. It was my honor to lead you men for the first 35 minutes. Thanks for all the prep, Gummy.

That’s all part of the experience, honey.

We all know F3 guys who still pay to go a gym or club – Spackler and Jet Fuel have Orange Theory, Hopper has Raintree, Puddin’ Pop has The Lodge. But today, something spectacular happened at The Fishing Hole.

The 7 men who gathered were vigorously disclaimed, then headed over to the parking deck. We did various warmings up on the way up to the top floor where we finished our warm up with the standard IW/MC/Squat trio. Partner up and run down the deck, stopping at each turn for 10 partner derkins or 10 old school situps.

Head out of the deck to the picnic tables in front of the school. 10 jump ups, 10 incline merkins, 10 dips. Repeat with 15 reps then again with 10.

Mosey across the street to the shopping center. Upon reflection, we decided to gather in the lot in front of Planet Fitness to show them what they were missing. On the way in, Margo said the last time he’d been in that parking lot, Haze had come walking out of Planet Fitness. We started dropping a Dirty McDeuce right there in the parking lot – 12 reps of three exercises, then a lap around that median over there. Repeat 4 times total. During our third lap, wouldn’t you know that Haze walks by on his way to his car from the gym. Chelms called it the Walk of Shame. Apparently you don’t get yuge like Haze without actual weight equipment – lifting drainage rocks is not enough. Haze was a good sport, taking the verbal assault from the PAX and joining us for a couple of exercises (not the run though).

We got back to the parking deck and ran out the clock by running the stairs a couple of times, plank walk with merkins and some protractor.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead, guys. Fun crowd this morning. My week of Qs wraps up on Saturday – Cooter (not the Metro or Huntersville one) and I are splitting the Q at RockZero. This is his VQ – I’ve seen his Weinke, and it’s magnificent.

Sign up for the Crane Relay. It’s going to be a lot of fun.
If you prefer beer with your running, check out the #beerrun channel on Slack. 8/18 at noon – 6 breweries, 4 miles. We did it last year and had a great time sweating on the millenials at the breweries.

It’s a non nutrative cereal varnish

17 men assembled for an assault on the biggest and best AO in Area 51. Once disclaimed, we proceeded thusly.

Yog through the expansive front yard, ignoring the early complaints from Haze about the uneven terrain. The abundance of private school AOs has softened the PAX. Haze used to be Yellow Rose-parking lot tough. Gather up near the traffic light for a sensible warmup consisting of IW, MC and 6-count burpees (for Hops). AYG down the sidewalk on 51 to the first entrance on the left. Select a lifting rock and head up to the islands parking lot.

Line up abreast at the first island. With your rock, 5 curls, 5 OH press, 5 tricep extensions, then run to the last island and back to your rock. Take your rock to the next island and repeat from there all the way through the parking lot. Purell and Scabby earned bonus points (redeemable for “Legends of Area 51” autographed memorabilia) by running through the last island all the way to the curb. Recover with more lifting (without the running). We left our rocks there for safekeeping.

Mosey over to the hill next to the ball field for a little weave run up and down the hill, working our way towards the hotbox. Utah was either confused or angry and just wandered around for a few minutes during this part. He seemed ok by the end though. Muster in the hotbox and select a bench – 5 jump ups, 10 derkins, 15 dips then go touch the first trash can and back to your bench. Repeat for all 7 trash cans. Ouch. Recover with some People’s Chair and BTW. Turkey Leg questioned the practicality of BTW – easy for him when he weighs 78 pounds. Try holding my 215 up there. Udder successfully got all the way up to putting his Bs on the W – impressive. The church will want to wipe that part of the wall down though.

Head back over to where we left our rocks. Partner up. Partner A takes both rocks and starts towards their home while partner 2 does 5 HR merkins and chases. Repeat until the rocks are home. A little Mary there and then back at the launch to run out the clock.

Good times. Join me for my 3rd of 4 Qs this week tomorrow at The Fishing Hole.

Sign up for the Crane Relay out in Ballantyne in late October. I’m in.

Tuck has set up the 2nd annual Beer Run (not to be confused with the Beer Mile). 6 breweries. 4 miles. 8/18 at noon. Sign up for the #beerrun Slack channel for more details. You want to do this.

Kent, I believe the pyramidal tracks are housing development outside of Cairo.

14 men gathered in a middle school parking lot to get the week started off right. Through some kind of scheduling glitch, I have four Qs this week – Base Camp, Anvil, Fishing Hole and RockZero (split with Cooter for his VQ). Should be fun. Anyway…

Mosey down to the track for a moving warmup.
Here and There (15 jump squats over there, then 5 CDDs here, 10/10, 5/15).
AYG 400
Here and There again with merkins and lunges
Yog up to the rock pile. Partner up and grab a rock. Partner 1 does the exercise while partner B runs the sidewalk loop and bunny hops up the stairs. Flapjack and repeat. Curls, overhead press, triceps.
Down to the bleachers for partner derkins and situps. Then 10/10/10 step ups/derkins/dips on the bleachers.
Finally, over to the field for my go-to time killer, sprints with 10-count in between.

– It was good to see Dora for the first time in a while. Less nice to hear him complain the whole time, but still.
– Apologies to Thumper for confusing him with Heartbreaker. Similar speed, body type and red hat. Thumper checked my self confidence for me after the AYG 400 as we finished together when he said something like, “at least we didn’t have to push it at the end”. I had definitely pushed it.
– Costanza has the worst Dolly form that I’ve ever seen.
– Watch out for Sardine and Thumper at Hawks Nest tomorrow. They are ready to break out of the moderate comfort zone. Dudes are both fast.
– Slumdog is posting 8 days a week lately. Keep working, brother.
– Fun crowd this morning – thanks for the opportunity.

Check out the preblast for the Crane Relay.