Author Archive Gummy

Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the expressway?

22 men gathered in an elementary school parking lot this morning. Don’t tell Geraldo, but there were three female ruckers leaving the parking lot as I pulled in. Their blinky and headlight game was strong. Anyway, we had an FNG among us (Mimi – he was wearing an Indians hat, Drew Carey is from Cleveland, Mimi was a character on the Drew Carey show), so the disclaimer was airtight. Hops ditched his men’s group finally to post at Hydra and found a rowdy bunch.

We ran down to HT for a quick warmup – it was by far the loudest COP I’ve ever been a part of. Not the cadence counting, mind you, but the general conversations about who knows what. You better have your Q loins girded up when you tackle the Hydra. The boys are unrelenting. Anyway, AYG back to the school (aggressive). Then we went over to the church for some rocks and running sets. Then back to the concession area for some benches and running sets. I killed a few minutes with a wall sit/burpee combo, then we got over to the field for some Mary and running sets. There was A LOT of complaining about the wet grass. Bring a towel. You’ll be fine.

Other observations:
– Sprockets is fast. He got back to the school and through a lap on the mini track by the time we got there. Come to Fast Twitch!
– I think Floor Slapper got to the workout at 5:45, after we got back to the school.
– Hopper has clearance to do merkins again after a long recovery from shoulder surgery. He claims the doc told him never to do burpees again. Semi Gloss must go to the same doctor.
– Jet Fuel joined the pre-workout circle with his shirt untucked, jeopardizing his Dick’s Sporting Goods modeling contract.

– Beer Run this Saturday, starting at noon. Check out the Slack Channel.
– Beer Mile on 6/7 at 7:00 pm. Check out the Slack Channel.
– Paintball on 6/8 – see Pop Tart for details.

Being a fake is what I do best.

[I went deep into the Chevy Chase filmography for that quote – Funny Farm. Not his best work, but still…]

Purell continued his mission this week to try to to make us run in circles for an hour. 8 men weren’t having it and showed up at Latin for Rogue Twitch. Inspired by a 4-year-old backblast from the days of yore when Cheese Curd posted at Fast Twitch, when we actually did exercises, and when there were a lot more normal-speed guys, we got after it this morning. I worked up a 1.5 mile route through campus with just the right amount of hills to make it awful. There were four stops where some guys did 10 reps of an exercise. Everybody got four laps in, some got almost 5. It was a beast of a loop.

I was hoping for a little more interaction with the Hawks/Hawk’s/Hawks’ Nest guys, but Sardine kept them on the lacrosse field most of the time. They all looked pretty angry when we joined them at 6:15.

Turkey Leg missed the introductory lap, but was happy to ditch the Hawks Nest guys and join us at 5:30. After a slow second lap, Alf recovered and joined Joker towards the front. In a rare FT appearance, Voodoo went out strong then came back to the pack a little. Not all the way back to where I was, but still. One Eye, Ductwork, Fault Line and I took turns at the six but all kept working hard. Those hills didn’t stop.

Beer Mile is on 6/7 at 7:00 pm. Join the Slack channel for details.

No gloves necessary, that ain’t no old-time asphalt.

Posted on behalf of Olympic silver medalist, BOG

10 PAX heeded the call of spring and braved YHC’s semi-virgin Q (VQ was Hydra also, but I was last minute sub).  Weather was spot on perfect at 64 degrees and

The Thang

Mosey around school to CoP for warm-up in newly paved, smooth parking lot

20 SSH

20 Imperial Walkers

20 Mountain Climbers

20 LSS

10 Peter Parker and 10 Parker Peters

Native American Run down Summerlin to Abbotswood

7s up and down Abbotswood hill

Burpees and Sister Mary Catherines (Started as 11s, but YHC called audible)

Native American Run to Abbotswood /Windyrush corner

20 Speed Skaters (Should we call them Eric Heidens, Bonnie Blairs, Dan Jansens, or Apollo Anton Ohnos?)

20 Wide Arm Merkins

20 Jump Squats

Native American Run to Benches at OPE


15 Step Ups

15 Dips

15 Derkins

Run to Dumpster

Mosey to Launch

Bear Crawls/Crab Walks across newly smoothed out parking lot


15 LBCs

15 AmHammers

15 Freddy Mercury

And that was a wrap!


Look for F3 Beer at Stumptown Station in Matthews

Shovel Flag Lager and Side Straddle Hops by Suffolk Punch Brewery

Puddin Pop prayed us out, helping us all to be thankful for the Ultimate Sacrifice many of us celebrate this week.

The Chattah:

With Flutie Flakes visiting from NH, there was a lot to catch up on, including the proper spelling of annals.  Even though there was disbelief that ESPN had a 2 hour special on NFL schedule release, there was quite a bit of chatter about which games would be attended, consensus:  The Big Easy fo sho.  Lots of Bama Swagger about Triple Crowns, Heisman/Nattie etc so we will have to see how that works out.  Also, YHC learned quite a but more than I’d hoped to about ping pong and Thailand – had ta be there.  Truly enjoyable group everyone, thanks for the opportunity.

Me winning isn’t. You do.

15 men gathered in a church parking lot this morning. Due to a scheduling glitch, I had the Q at Death Valley and Anvil. The DV guys caved quickly and agreed to a convergence at Anvil. Neither DV Site Q was at Anvil, so I’m pretty sure they still met at SCMS to catch up on the private school soccer goings on with Header. Interesting PAX list this morning – Flutie continues his spring vacation in Charlotte before heading back to the winters of New Hampshire; I brought an FNG (Crippler); and everybody’s favorite Olympic Silver Medalist, BOG, among other A51 all-stars. Prohibition was there too.

We ran around and did some stuff. There were rocks, islands, running, hills, sprints, people’s chairs, and what not. I thought it was a pretty well thought out plan. I love my weinke. The guys were quick to start giving back all the chatter that I normally give, so that was fun for them. They got started during the disclaimer (it did go off the rails a little), continued through COP (abbreviated), into the main event – lots of concern for how we would get the rocks back to their homes. Relax. They didn’t like the patio. They complained about getting wet on the grass and about the possibility of ant hills. My goodness. Stone Cold was offended when I called for HR Merkins on grass. Ickey took one last shot at the end when he noted that it was the lowest attended convergence ever. That may be true. It’s ok. Still, we got 2.5 miles, lots of merkins and jump squats and ended right on time. You may call the parking space merkins a time killer, Puddin Pop, but it was right there in the weinke.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead. I enjoyed the heckling and look forward to returning it for each of you.

Those are three names I enjoy; Marvin, Velma, and Provo.

11 men gathered in the plush, velvety smooth parking lot of a local private school for the weekly edition of Hawks Nest/Hawk’s Nest/Hawks’ Nest. ‘Twas a bit chilly, but in a few months we’ll wish for these temps. I gave a nice disclaimer, aided by our local health care attorney, then we headed up the hill to one of Latin’s 37 fields for the warmup.

We did descending burpees (10,9,8,etc) throughout the workout. I’m thinking about making that a thing.

We did an exercise and running thing on the nice field. Then we went to the track for a quick 400. Puddin’ Pop demanded to know if that was really the only lap we were going to do before he committed to an effort level. That was followed by a partner thing where Partner 1 did People’s Chair while Partner B ran backwards up the hill. I don’t think I’ve seen that sweet track statue up near the tennis courts before – modeled after Hannibal in his glory days, no doubt. We found our way through the labyrinth to the driveway hill where we did a Triple Nickel. Then yogged back to the launch, interrupted by a Braveheart-style clashing of the tribes from Fast Twitch and Hawks Nest. It was majestic. Haze clearly didn’t have enough workout planned and had to make something up to fill the last few minutes.

A couple of other tidbits from the morning:
– Morningwood is an actual street in Charlotte. Fault Line lives nearby.
– We had a strong, subtle TWSS this morning when Puddin’ Pop said, “Do we have to go all the way every time?” Classy

I parked in a handicapped spot on the way up here. Actually, on a handicapped person.

7 men gathered in front of a local Peruvian Rotisserie Joint for the weekly assault on the Waverly parking deck. I noted on my way in that our Camp Gladiator friends were in the parking deck, so my disclaimer included instructions to be nice to them.

At this point in backblast writing, I remember Tiger Rag (kids, ask the old guys about him) saying at a Q101 or something on the Panera patio that most people skip the description of the workout and go right to the Moleskine. If you weren’t there, you don’t really care if we did 10 merkins or 15 CDDs. If you were there, you know what we did.

So, suffice it to say that we ran up and down the parking deck performing various athletic maneuvers. For some reason, my instructions to jump up the staircases were met with scoff and disdain by the fast guys. That was the key to the whole workout – it made your legs tired so the running, monkey humpers and burpees were hard. Oh well, OT, Squid and I did them. Alf did them when I was around. Orange Whip did them once when he was stuck behind me on the staircase.

I don’t think I’ve ever worked out with Ice 9, only heard stories of his legendary merlot spilling. I don’t think he did today. He did successfully dodge Alf’s attempt to make him the WAMRAP Q next week though.

OT noticed that Squid and Pop Tart didn’t ride in together for maybe the first time ever. Trouble in paradise? Squid’s feelings were definitely hurt.

Pop Tart was dressed like Hugo, the Hornet’s mascot, without the big head.

Thank you very little.

14 men took advantage of premium running weather, fought the swim-parent traffic (who are these parents?) and gathered in a luxurious parking lot at 5:15 this morning. After a thorough but choppy disclaimer, we headed out for an assault on Raintree. The planned warm up yog up Providence to Raintree Ln. was interrupted when Runstopper almost took out half the group coming in on two wheels. We went back for him anyway and took the circuitous route through campus instead. We mustered at the 4-way stop sign intersection on Raintree Ln. that needs a cool name (Mt. Raintree?).

In a throwback to the Fast Twitch days of yore, we ran a modified starfish from that intersection. There were four legs to the starfish, run to the end of a leg, do 5 burpees then back to the intersection, 5 burpees. Only the suckers (fast guys) did the burpees, although Ironsides wants credit for doing 100 merkins instead.

Each leg has it’s own personality that is terrible:
Leg 1 – Down Raintree Ln to the creek. The climb back to the intersection is long and awful. It goes on just long enough to crush your will.
Leg 2 – Down into the little townhome community loop. This was the easiest leg by far, but the climb back to the intersection still sucks.
Leg 3 – All the way up to Providence. The hill at the final climb to Providence is brutal. And somehow it still feels uphill most of the way back.
Leg 4 – Down to the (formerly) blinking light. Clearly the worst of the legs – rough climbs in both directions with not enough downhill to make up for it.

We ran that until 6:05 – most guys got in 6-7 legs, then AYG one more time up to Providence. A little LBC to recover, then back to launch.

Turkey Leg was angry this morning and crushed the PAX from the beginning. He’s probably mad at Purell for going to Swift. Purple Haze lashed out at me at the bottom of Leg 1 (the second time). The Raintree traffic is worse than it used to be. We had lots of blinky lights and headlamps, so we were ok, but there were a lot of cars (and bikes). One Eye got honked at at the end. Be smart on the roads – blinky lights are cheap.

Yeah, but not right next to each other. I thought that’s what you meant.

11 men gathered in a school parking lot this morning at the only AO I can think of where we never go off campus. I remember The Shore taking us through the trails in the back once, but that only works in the summer when it’s light. The hills of Horsey are too far away. And the campus is big and diverse. Anyway, here’s what transpired…

Yog down to the track. The temp dropped several noticeable degrees on the way into the valley. Interesting. Chin Music called for an early adjournment when he saw the glistening ice on the track, but we prevailed. Too bad Yeti wasn’t there to turn on the heater for the track and field. Line up abreast for a little back and forth warm up across the field.

Continue the warmup jog around the track, then up Grandmother Mountain to the sidewalk. The recent building expansion included a fence that makes it less fun to get up to the Blue Door, but we figured it out. Partner 1 runs up the sidewalk to the Blue Door while partner B does an exercise. Repeated with both partners doing HR Merkins, Jump Squats and Heels to Heaven. Next, over to the bleachers for more of the same (dips, derkins while a partner ran some stairs).

Assemble next to the playground in plank position (abreast). One PAX does AMRAP pullups (3 for me), then gets back in plank. Next guy up, so on and so forth. Dollywood left after this, at 5:50. I’m impressed that he got up to go to a workout for 20 mins.

Down to the track for the main event. AYG 400, then turn around and recover jog the full 400 again, stopping at each corner for 5/10/15 of an exercise. We did three AYG 400s – exercises were HR Merkins, Jump Squats and Heels to Heaven.

Line up abreast on the goal line in two groups. Group 1 sprints to the 30 yard line and back. Group 2 starts when the last of group 1 crosses the goal line. Continue for 4 turns to the 30, 3 turns to the 50, 1 (cut from 2 to save time) to the other 30 and 1 to the far goal line. Guys always think that sounds easy when I explain it. It’s a real gasser though. The rests are not long enough.

Back up to the start with the usual (back in the days when we hand-signed a waiver before the workout) jailbreak up the parking lot. Done.

Announcements – Joe Davis prices go up (maybe today)

Hop-along Cassidy. Bow and arrow. Very Weird.

Lots of pressure writing a backblast on the same day as Horsehead. Here goes…

26 men gathered at South Charlotte finest Catholic High School for the weekly gathering that is Centurion. Contrary to Purple Haze’s comments, I have posted at Centurion before – a couple of times 3 years ago, but still. I knew where it was, and Google Maps has pretty good satellite imagery of the campus (really, street view is amazing – that’s how I confirmed the location and adequacy of the rock pile just off campus). After a thorough, well thought out disclaimer, we exercised thusly…

10 burpees (Mermaid said the Centurion guys love burpees), then yog over to the parking deck. Up the stairs to the top, IW, then down the ramps with various warmings up. Assemble at the bottom (9 burpees) to point out the loop to be referred to later, then mosey back down near the launch lot.

Dirty McDeuce – 12x in cadence upper body exercise, 12x leg exercise, 12x Mary, then a lap around that loop I told you about. Repeat 4 times total. There were a couple of interruptions by a slow moving car and a passive aggressive security guard on a golf cart. Mermaid assured me that “this doesn’t usually happen”. 8 burpees

Over to the rock pile on the road over there. 7 burpees. Select a partner and one lifting rock per partner. CMIYC around the block with the chaser doing 5 HR merkins and 5 jump squats. Haze was not happy about the rock that Brushback selected. My partner (Runstopper) was easy to spot in his neon tights (At Fast Twitch this week, Runstopper noted that the shorts over tights look is for the benefit of everyone else, not the wearer.) 6 burpees

With same partners, Partner 1 does an exercise with the rock while Partner B runs over there. Repeated with curls, OH press and triceps while the runs got a little longer each time. 5, 4 and 3 burpee sets interspersed. Somewhere in here I heard Lorax ask if Centurion was an hour long now, and I saw Margo checking his watch. Good indicators. Head back to the launch lot with a stop for 2 burpees. Finish with old school situps, then 1 burpee. Boom.

Chelms is taking donations for the Peru trip for 2 more weeks – summer workout clothes.
Sign up for Joe Davis.
Checkpoint wanted to make sure Haze remembered that Clemson is the national champion.

I know Art. And thanks for noticing.

13 men assembled in an elementary school parking lot at 5:30 this morning. For such a cold morning, the pregame fellowship was impressive. Discussion topics included Hopper’s white tights, Semi’s prerun, my birthday festivities the night before, and Sprockets not riding a bike to the workout.

Sleepy rolled in right at 5:30 and off we went. Mosey to the back field (after another delay to gather Thunder Road), then warmup through varying exercises and methods to traverse the field. I appreciated Semi’s constant edification during the early part of the workout. Down the spooky trail which was quite dark this morning – I may have missed the turn. Then gather at the foot of the hill back there for the Triple Nickel.

Recover with a little Mary, then AYG down the road, bang a left then to that road at the stop sign where we usually do stuff. (Probably 800 yards total). Ugh. Recover again with a little Mary.

Muster at the intersection looking up towards Rea Rd. Modified suicides – up two road humps (10 monkey humpers), back one road hump (10 HR merkins). Continue up to Rea Rd. Recover there with some Mary. Yog over to the newer benches around the tree and partner up. Partner 1 runs around the track. Partner B does the exercise. We just did two rounds with derkins and dips, then finished off the time with a little more Mary, including Prairie Fire Mary which is a winter-only exercise for me because of where sweat would drip from.

Other commentary:
– Hopper stained his white tights with a loud blast during the first suicide. Mercy.
– One Eye and Sprockets were out front all morning, with Marge close behind.
– Every time I post with BOG, I tell people all day that I worked out with an Olympic silver medalist.

Sprockets has first full-length Q next week at Hawks Nest (Hawk’s Nest? Hawks’ Nest?) next week. Does Latin have a good sledding hill if we get 8 inches of snow on Monday?

Good work this morning, boys. I’ve been out sick for over a week; it was good to get back out there with the guys. Thanks for posting in the cold.