Author Archive Gummy

Wash those windows, they have filth muck on them.

Trying to keep the Area 51, non-Waxhaw division, backblast streak alive.

15 of us gathered in a church parking lot this morning. Although outnumbered by the group selling pine needles in the hinterlands of the parking lot, we attacked the morning after a solid disclaimer, which included me bragging about my pregame routine. #solid

Off we go, quick tour up the North Face just to get the complaining started. Then we started across the front field – OMG, the whining. There was some water in the grass. People didn’t have the right shoes or gloves or something. So we turned around and took the dry route. Up to 51, right to Carrington for a quick warmup in their pool parking lot. Then on to Davie Park. Run to the second lightpost, 5 burpees, back one lightpost for 10 jump squats. 2 lightposts, 5 burpees, back one – you get the idea. Assemble at the end near the dog park. Who takes their dog to the park at 7:15 am? I don’t trust them. It’s either drugs (supported by the open trunk on the unattended car in the parking lot) or a secret romantic interlude. It’s like the two cars that came into the church at Hydra at 5:45 for “Bible Study”. Sure. Anyway, we did some partner laps there. Then went to the hill behind the building there for a triple nickle. So much more complaining about the mud. Then back to the gate at the front, stopping at every light post for 5 burpees. There was Mary mixed in between all that stuff for recovery. AYG to Rea/51. Then across Rea to the rock pile. More partner laps near there, then back to the cars. We quit at 7:59. Deal with it. 4 miles and at least 50 burpees so I think you got your money’s worth.

Fun crew this morning. Bounce was also there. And a good number went down to Starbucks for coffee – their new seating is not conducive to a gross crowd like ours. You’re going to want to wipe down those nice vinyl seats.

Announcements:
Final Death Valley workout this week. Expect big crowds, and wear your muddy shoes.
Beer mile on 4/24. Training is going well.

F#$@ Twitch

I know we don’t normally do Fast Twitch backblasts, but the feedback on Slack #run has been so favorable that I wanted to spread the joy:
“We hate your face” – RS, Private School Runners Weekly
“That was awful” – P, baldisbeautiful.com
“That workout sucked” – A, Short Arm Gazette

It’s amazing how bad it can get without leaving campus. Run from the cars up the driveway to the top of the hill on the North? side of campus. 5 burpees. Back down the driveway, bang a right and head onto the track (I imagine that I’m an Olympic marathoner when I break through onto the track). At the far end of the track, 5 burpees. Continue around the track and out the gate on the other side, across the bridge and up to the pavilion. 5 burpees. Back down that driveway, hang a right at the stop sign and up the hill to the new tennis courts (the old ones were lame). 5 burpees. Then go all the way back down and up the driveway to the first hill. The loop is about 1.5 miles. Oof. We all did 4 laps. Purell almost got 5. Alf and Christmas got into their 5th laps.

Here are your attendees:
Purell – I’m happy to report that he did not lap me. Although he said he was hurting from a good weekend out in Phoenix or something.
Horsehead – Texted me at 5:05: “you better be at Fast Twitch”. He looked really angry all morning, then said afterwards, “I’ll see you next year.”
Alf – He almost caught Purell.
Retread – He also seemed angry this morning, although he told me “good job” once when I passed him and he was the first to give me “Kudos” on Strava, so maybe we’re ok.
Fault Line – He’s a grinder. He said something funny at the tennis court stop towards the end, but I was so done that I can’t remember what it was now.
Christmas – Alf made a dad joke about Christmas during the first lap that Christmas was nice about. Christmas was the most encouraging to me as he passed me every time.
Gypsy – We went back and forth all morning. He flew by me on the track on the second lap then fell apart on the third lap, only to rally on the last lap and pass me on the way to the finish. Solid work.
Runstopper – I think he almost joined the Hawks Nest guys when we by them, but he girded his loins (which is easier in tights) and stayed after it for the full 60 minutes.
Utah – Remember when he and Mermaid used to ride together to every workout. Did they breakup?

It was fun getting heckled by the Hawks Nest crew a few times. There was not a lot of exercising going on in the hotbox when I saw them there. Lots of chatter. Except Sprockets. Teacher’s pet. I could tell that Ductwork (Q at Hawks Nest) wished he was with us.

I distinctly ordered the Antartic Blue Super Sports Wagon with C.B. and optional rally fun pack.

9 men loaded up the family truckster and gathered in a middle school parking lot this morning. My disclaimer included a warning that my pregame routine was not all that I hoped, so we’d be staying close to Semi Gloss’s office just in case. I was alarmed to learn from the boys that the restrooms are now locked. Uh oh. Somebody should tell Semi.

We headed down to the track for a moving warmup, then lined up abreast on one sideline for some back and forth across the field with moderate level jogging and exercise reps. Congrats to Geraldo for chattering enough to knock me off my game and forget my own instructions. Despite some pregame chatter about the good ol’ days in the mud and Runstoppers muddy Hydra Q last week, a few guys would only do their reps on the paved track. Geez. There was some Mary recovery, then we jogged up to the (new!?) benches in front of the school for some partner work. We did some parking space merkins (plank walk sideways, down on each line) and lunges to let everyone catch their breath. Then down the stairs to the sidewalk for more partner work on the stair loop. A quick watch check told me I had to kill some time, so went over to the nearby left field for 10 sprints with 10-count rests (veteran move). Then up to the bathroom building walls for some people’s chair (with head, shoulders, knees and toes) and BTWs. AYG 10 yards to the parking lot. Done.

Hat tip to Cheese Curd for a 10:45 pm Slack post questioning my popularity, fitness and leadership. Scoreboard. Also shout-out to Hopper for convincing La-Z-Boy to post this morning then not showing up himself. Veteran. Snowflake ran in and out – beast. Thunder Road and Magoo are jealous of the way we run the Hydra Q schedule and are considering a move to the “Here’s your Q date. Thanks” approach that we use. Sure, it creates a little more Q-swap drama along the way, but we’re scheduled into August I think. Of course Strange Brew ran the wrong way on the partner loops. Canadians. Mailman was putting in solid work this morning in all black. Old school. I hadn’t had a chance to talk to Point Break much before – he has his VQ at Anvil next week under Lorax’s gentle touch.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead. No many how many times I’ve Q’d, fear and doubt creeps in right before I start. I’m thankful for you guys.

 

 

It takes a big man to admit when he is wrong. I am NOT a big man.

After an inspirational text from Hops yesterday, (“If I were not site Q, there is 0% chance I would post”), I arrived this morning pleasantly surprised to find 14 gentle men ready for the weekly assault on one of many Area 51 private school AOs. The rain stopped just before launch, so it was a pleasant morning. We did some exercises, mostly involving partner 1 doing something here while partner B runs over there and back, up the stairs and back, around the thing and back, etc. Just over 3 miles, so I’ll probably get dinged by Hops in my review.

Topics of discussion:
– Scratch n Win insists that “40% chance of rain” means that 40% of the geographic area will get rain. I don’t believe him. He crumbled upon cross-examination. He probably fell for the “NASA said today is the only day a broom will stand up” thing yesterday too.
– Despite sparing no expense on the water feature and curved bricks on the new building, somehow the staircase beside the building holds water like the South Charlotte MS track.
– Thanks to Puddin’ Pop for helping me with the hand signals so the guys knew when to stop.
– Reebok showed up in full fleece sweat pants, ready to absorb all the rain he could.

Do yourself a favor. If you haven’t heard Flight of the Conchords, “Business Time”, look it up on your favorite streaming service. Comedy gold. It came up at RockZero because Bounce had his business socks on. It’s business time.

 

Can’t see the lines, can you Russ?

11 men gathered in a church parking lot this morning. ‘Twas cold but not bad – about 75% hats, 100% gloves and sleeves, maybe 25% tights. We did some stuff, including:
– An active warmup in the library parking lot. Renovations are coming along nicely.
– Partner work at the picnic tables near church entrance where Hammer has been known to enter to use the facilities on Saturday mornings at RockZero.
– AYG runs across the parking lot, including a return of the Angry Black Sedan that ran over the rocks a few weeks back. He did not engage with the PAX this time.
– Rock suicides in the island parking lot. Good times.

Other notes:
– Hammer and Lorax were shame-exercising this morning after overdoing it over Thanksgiving.
– This was Gerber’s first time back to Anvil since the sedan/rock incident. He said he wasn’t sure we’d still be there.
– Ickey was super salty about Alabama’s #12 ranking. Finebaum is hosting a support group call-in show, meeting every Tuesday night between now and the Poulan Weedeater Bowl.
– HIPAA and Clover put off a strong “Dumb and Dumber” vibe when they got out of Clover’s car.
– Snuka and Brilleaux were out ahead this morning with Gerber and Lorax. Maybe I’d be faster if I talked less.

Announcements:
– 2020 Holiday party – it’ll be in October next year at the Wendy’s in Wadesboro.
– Check on your friends. I have a few (non-F3) friends going through stuff. I’m going through some stuff. Ask people how they are doing – connections and relationships make life better.

I don’t think the heavy stuff’s gonna come down for quite a while.

While enjoying my coffee on Friday morning, I got a text from Hops looking for a substi-Q so he could enjoy all that the SOB Holiday party had to offer. I checked the weather before agreeing to it – 52 and slight chance of rain. Alright, I’m in. Same forecast when I went to bed and even when I got up this morning – 40% chance of rain around 8:00. So I was a little surprised when I got outside and it was actively raining pretty hard. Surprisingly, 9 other guys showed up, equally fooled by the weather apps on their phones. It didn’t let up through the whole workout.

So we did some stuff. We started with 2 SSHs and ended 2 minutes early. See Geraldo for a refund.

Other notes:
– Purell pre-ran 6.5 miles. Insulting.
– The rain made Deep Dish’s hair a mess by the end. First time I’ve seen that.
– OT thought he had a good enough head start on one of the AYG runs, but Purell was just toying with him and blew by him with 50 yards left.
– It’s always good to have the Carlson twins there. Thanks to Slow Roll for making the drive down from up north.
– Runstopper’s post-workout vest was disturbing.

The pond would be good for you

Like the President trash talking ambassadors, our Nantan, Alf, put the over/under at 3 for Joust as he touted the “perfect” parking deck at Cerberus. Ductwork came in on the under, saying coffee was on him if just 2 posted (me and him). I knew Hopper was going to be there though since he had told me several times this week that he would be (narrator’s voice: Hopper was not there). So I showed up with a plan and was pleasantly surprised to see six other guys ready to get after it. The rain held off, but there was still plenty of complaining about the wet artificial turf. Geez.

We did some stuff, including:
– AYG 400 (Smokey and Yeti gave at least 50% effort)
– Partner work at the base of Grandma with alternating runs up that beast (RIP Blue Door)
– Triple Nickel on the bleachers
– Burpee sets descending from 10 down to 1, interspersed throughout the workout
– An oldie but a goodie from a Tiger Rag Q circa 2013?: Line up on the goal line (abreast) in two groups. Group 1 sprints to 30 yard line and back, then group 2 goes. Repeat to the 30 4 times, the 50 three times, the other 30 twice, and the other goal line once. It hurts by about the second run to the 50 if you’re doing it right.

Topics of conversation:
– Smokey surveyed the crowd about Disney +. It sounded like most are in already. Hoover and Geraldo were SUPER excited about the Star Wars tv show.
– The Sugarhill Gang is not the same thing as the Apple Dumplin’ Gang (available on Disney +).
– During a People’s Chair/ Burpee thing, Hoover asked someone to “make it tingle”. We moved on quickly.
– Apparently The Charge is alive and well, drawing 15ish Metro guys every week using an email distribution list.

I don’t know why they call this stuff hamburger helper.

It does just fine by itself.

I just had a two-hour nap. Is it still Saturday? 19 of A51’s finest gathered this morning:
Fault Line – Asked permission to steal the island hopping rock thing we did this morning. Granted. I stole it from someone – Haze maybe? Imitation is flattery or something like that.
Sprockets – He defended the honor of all of us old men by chasing down.
Skipper in the long sprints we did from the hotbox wall to that patio over there. Three times. He did quit on the third one though – I’m sure not because he was tired, but to give Skipper his pride. Sure.
Skipper – The young man put in work out there. Most of the youth that join us give 25% effort at best, but he was working hard all morning.
Hopper – I wish I could say the same for his old man. He does look younger without the beard though.
Deep Dish – Not only did he not leave early, he stuck around for coffee after. And his hair looked amazing the whole time.
Boerewors – Frankly, I didn’t really see him during the workout. It’s possible he was only there at COT when he realized that the Cricket league that meets at Calvary got rained out this week.
Scratch ‘N’ Win – Good example of why you ought to talk to guys during and after the workout about real life. He was heading to Asheville after the workout where he’ll be doing some “development” (fundraising) for the non-profit he works for. Good stuff.
Geraldo – I mean, his form wasn’t great on the rock thrusters we did on the island hopping thing, but he was fast on the running part and finished on the podium.
Hoover – In a surprise move during COP, he responded to heckling from Alf by walking through the circle to give Alf a big, sweaty (from the pre-run) hug. Well played.
Guinness – FNG EH’d by Flipper. It was maybe the quickest naming I’ve been a part of – last name “Stout”. Fault Line thought we quit too soon and took the easy way out, but sometimes the easy call is the right call. Welcome.
Flipper – Did not take kindly to a comment about his speed early on, responding with, “Come talk to me when you prerun 6 miles.” No thanks.
Blowhole – Dude was flying on the rock island part. Fun fact – I went to a good tailgate party that he hosted next to Unknown Brewing a few years ago, with LaZBoy.
Bernanke – I think he, Blowhole and LaZBoy were having a bro morning, including a nice brunch after the workout.
LaZBoy – Reeling after the poor display of athleticism by his Tarheels on Friday night. That was bad.
Alf – That’s my nantaan. Full effort all morning, some good heckling, and a double-shot of espresso at Coffeeteria.
Turkey Leg – Saw “Hustlers” with his M last night and reported back that JLo still has her fastball. He did seem a little slow this morning – I’m sure it was just the shin splints.
Mr. Magoo – Again, from a conversation about real life, I found out that he has a kid at Georgetown. Also he’s an Ohio State fun (31-0). Also, I still feel a little bad for the nickname – Hops showed up to Q Base Camp with preselected FNG names a while ago.
Tagalong – He seemed to really enjoy the Catch Me If You Can rock carry around the church. I haven’t used that one in a few years. It’s awful.
Gummy – ‘Twas an honor to lead this morning. There is a moment every time I Q when I say to myself, “I can’t believe these guys are following me and listening to what I tell them to do.” Leading isn’t easy – this silly workout thing we do is good practice for real life.

Pardon me, I wonder if you can tell me how to get back on the expressway?

Pax: Gummy (Q), Smash, Hannibal, Thunder Road, Marvel, Sardine, Snowflake, Clover, Blades of Glory, Fireman Ed, Snuka, Mr. Magoo

I covered for Pro who is bad at planning and had to cancel. I guess he booked the flight on Sunday and didn’t have any advance warning that he’d miss his upcoming Q. Anyway, it was good to get a little pre-game witty banter with Semi Gloss and the DMZ crowd. We even heard from Kirk (on Twitter, not at a workout- don’t be silly), who I thought had moved out-of-state.

Speaking of moving, we recently moved a couple of miles north on Providence to Lansdowne, and I haven’t made a good adjustment to my departure times. I rolled in at 5:29:55, jumped out of the car and yelled for the guys to follow me. Jello and Hopper went for a walk around Raintree instead.

We did some stuff. 100 AYG, 200 AYG, 400 AYG with some rest in between. We scattered a descending burpee ladder throughout the workout – sneaky way to get in a fair amount of burpees. There were jump ups, some Mary, and classic time-killing sprints at the end.

Other notes:
– BOG failed to wear his Olympic medal again.
– I felt really good when Snuka said, “isn’t this supposed to be moderate?”. Success. That dude is fast.
– Because I got there late, I didn’t see who was there, then we immediately went down to the really dark track. So I didn’t know who was there until about halfway through? Is that Fireman Ed?
– If you haven’t done BRR yet, do it. You can handle it. It’s the best way to get to know guys beyond the 45 minutes of heavy breathing at a workout.

Do you want that in the can?

No I’ll have it right here.

PAX list: Gummy, Runstopper, Sardine, Hannibal, Semi Gloss, Buc-ee’s (FNG), One Eye, Marvel, McGee, Puddin’ Pop, Spackler, Thunder Road, Motorboat, Homer, Marge

14 men gathered on the plush Latin tailgate lots this morning for the weekly edition of Hawk’s/Hawks’/Hawks Nest. It could’ve been 16, it’s hard to tell in COP when the Fast Twitch guys mix in and people start leaving. Since we’re here, does the 4 minutes they save by leaving early really matter? It hurts my feelings, and I can’t imagine they don’t have 4 minutes somewhere else between COP and getting to work to make up that time. I picture Deep Dish running into the bank (whichever one it is) tower afraid he’s going to miss the first few minutes of the work day, slowing down his plot to bring down the economy again. On the other end of that spectrum, Alf and Haze have plenty of time to hang around and talk about how bad the hills of FT were, how disappointing the Gamecocks are (again), and strategies to look taller.

Anyway, we had an FNG among us (welcome to Buc-ee’s – thusly named by Ductwork after the convenience store chain in his home state of Texas), so after a thorough disclaimer, we got after it. Based on the immediate feedback, it must’ve been evident that I showed up with only a loose weinke (spend some time over there on the hill, jump up the Q*bert stairs if I can find them, partner work at the track, etc.), but I think it turned out ok. The chatter didn’t stop, but I consider it a sign of respect. We tease the ones we love. We even had an opportunity to heckle the Fast Twitch foursome on the track for a while which is always nice. I picked a good week to not be at Fast Twitch.