Author Archive Goonie

Who Loves National “Talk Like a Pirate” Day?

Flipper, that’s who. LOVES it. More on that later…

10 of the biggest bad-asses in Charlotte chose to post this morning at the well-oiled pain machine that is the Brave. All the pax that wanted a nice little workout without too much sweat posted a few miles up the road at Centurion. Without a thought of them, these ten gladiators got after it thusly:

Almost adequete disclaimer was given, and we moseyed down Conlan and into the parking lot by Tony’s. This is where Flipper started talking.

COP: SSH x 10 IC, Merkins x 10 IC, LSS x 10 IC, Supermans x 15. Mosey down to Ballantyne Commons and then through what is referred to as “Mount St. Durant” on Strava (further maddening Flipper with all the names of different hills), hitting the parking deck from the back. Mosey to the top.

Long Thang:

Directions given at the top to the direction-challenged pax (turned out to be most today). Grab a coupon (YHC’s brick pavers from a current home project – broken pavers at the end have to answer to Mrs. Goonie) and mosey down to the basement for parking deck suicides. At each turn, pax do 10 merkins on the paver, 10 presses, and 10 flutters (each leg) with the paver held in the air. Run to first turn, do exercises, run back to start. Run to second turn, do exercises, run back down to start. Top of the deck was the 5th station, gathered up there so the 6 (YHC) could catch his breath. Transporter led plank-o-rama and Plank Jacks, which I’ve discovered are the only exercise they know in UC. This all totally sucked, but we still had a half hour left.

Mosey down to Johnston and cross at John J. Delaney, then right at Ballantyne Lakes Dr. toward the Post apartments. Stop at the lake on the left. 2 rounds of:
– 5 muscle-ups on the south side of the lake
– run down and back up the nasty hill on the east side
– 15 derkins on the railing on the north side
– Protractor while Q caught his breath

After that fun, mosey back up to John J Delaney. 20 merkins at each speed bump on the way past Bad Daddies and JJ’s up to Ballantyne Commons where the leaders sit with their hands on their hips and look annoyed that the Q is too slow. Cobains. Cross Ballantyne Commons and run through the Resort parking lot up to the light at Brixham Hill and Johnston. Cross over Johnston and into the lot behind Stone Mountian Grill. 50 lunge walks across the lot and jog it to the end. Had a few more minutes to kill so we did a 6-inch plank and into a sprint. Did that twice, down and back. Moseyed Walked back into the launch lot for 3.5 minutes of Mary (LBCs, Rosalita, Dolly). Finished with 5 burpees OYO. Done. Smoked. Just over 4 miles.

YONM

Thanks to Fire Hazard, Thin Mint, and Mario for letting YHC lead the Brave. It is the hardest workout in south Charlotte, so it tends to bring out the crazy in YHQ (See: hairburner mile last time). Always try to bring it here because YHC knows there is an expectation of a soul-crushing workout. That’s what the pax come for.

Things we learned this morning:

Pop Tart loves running. He has vowed to post any workout that promises 4 miles or more.

Flipper’s favorite “national” holiday (as he described it) is National “Talk Like a Pirate” Day. The way he spoke of this day, you would think he was talking about his own mother. Such amorous feelings. Things Flipper hates: why we give all our hills nicknames. This vexes him like none other. So much so that he has gone ahead and nicknamed a new hill we found today. Other things Flipped said today: I have no idea. I was way behind him and couldn’t hear him above the sound of my own panting.

No one had ever used the hill on the east side of the pond near the Post pool. It’s nasty. It was lovingly described as “North Face’s little sister” after the workout, but has since been dubbed “Goonie’s Demise” by Flipper. Hopefully this one will get some regular usage.

Transporter only showed up because Doc McStuffins said he was posting. Transporter did. Doc did not.

Buckeye does NOT like people who only do “half-merkins”. He also hates taking his shirt off.

Transporter, Soft Pretzel, and Fire Hazard don’t know what “don’t break the brick-pavers” means. Not YHC’s problem anymore – they have to deal with Mrs. Goonie. Feel bad for them. Feel very, very bad for them.

Fredo is a liar about his age. I don’t know why he gets off on making us think he’s a Respect, but it’s a damn lie. Guy showed up for his first Brave and killed it.

Rachel and Squid did what they always do: quietly beasted another workout. These dudes are machines. However, Rachel was actually witnessed breathing heavy for the first time. Mark it, Dude!

YHC took “leading from behind” to a new level today. Thank you for the opportunity – it is always an honor to lead this workout.

Thanks to Transporter for the takeout.

Announcements:

Speed for Need – unless you live under a rock, you’ve seen the marketing for Tolkien’s awesome new venture. Get involved somehow.
F3 Dad’s tomorrow at the entrance to the Bull Ring – 9:00.

We should do WHAT to the guy in front of us?

20 pax enjoyed an extra hour of sleep then joined their F3 brothers for a (mostly enjoyable) sweat this glorious morning. Here’s what produced aforementioned perspiration:

COP: gather around the flag pole that was supposed to have a flag on it, to honor our veterans and those that paid the ultimate sacrifice for our country. SCMS fail.

SSH x 25 IC
LSS x 15 IC
IW x 25 IC
Merkins x 15 IC

Split Thang:

Goonie up. Mosey down Strawberry to Fairway Downs Ct. for a round of 7’s. 1 burpee at the start of the street, run to the cul-de-sac for 6 jump squats. Continue until 6/1. Orange Whip led plank exercises while waiting on the 6. Joker did some plank but mostly refused.

Mosey further down Strawberry to calls of “You’re going the wrong way!” Marge pleaded for another round of 7’s on Rosecliff, but time didn’t allow. Cobains, Marge. Gathered on Rosecliff at the bottom of the hill. Backwards run up to Strawberry, mosey back down, 5 burpees, then backwards run back up and gather at the corner. This was sneaky difficult.

Mosey back to launch. Fireman Ed up.

Mosey down to the bleachers. One round of 40 dips and 40 supine pull ups. Mosey to the outfield of one baseball field for a rousing, fun round of Tunnel of Love. Originally called for all the way across the field, but that didn’t happen, as Joker (once again) basically led a mutiny. Got about 61% across the field, and an audible was called. Planker’s Delight on the way back. 2 rounds of merkins and 2 rounds of CDDs.

One more round of 40 dips/40 supine pull ups and then to the outfield of the adjacent field for everyone’s favorite, Mr. JAck Webb. 1 merkin and 4 air presses. Made it up to 8 merkins and 32 air presses before time was called. Mosey back to launch for Name-O-Rama.

Announcements:

Area 51 gear is on sale. I’m sure High Tide will put a link in the comments section.

Beaver’s son just graduated from college and is looking for a job as an IT something. If you’re a computer dork and looking for a flunkie, get in touch with Beaver.

Moleskine

Highlights of the day include:

Wild Turkey and Prohibition running in. Pro wore his nice fancy running shoes because he didn’t think they’d get dirty (no way we’d spend a lot of time in the grass at a convergence!).

In 2 years at Base Camp, we’ve never used the Fairway Downs section. Not a bad little route. Add that to the rotation.

Pax did NOT like it when YHC headed for Rosecliff after the round of 7’s. It wasn’t that bad. Suck it up.

Fireman Ed was not very popular after the workout. A lot of pax are going to have trouble working the spatula or lifting their 12-oz. curls today.

During the Planker’s Delight, Ed called out “Go down with the person in front of you.” A lot of guys thought he said “On.” ‘Nuff said.

Have a wonderful and safe Memorial Day. Keep our vets and fallen heroes in our hearts, as they allow us the freedom to do wonderful things such as F3. Goonie out.

Passing off the Q …. to a set of dice?

Inspired by the Weinkes of some other esteemed pax (MT, Wild Turkey), YHC decided to switch it up a bit and see what would happen. This was either going to be a fun, thorough beatdown or an unmitigated disaster. Let’s be honest, though, the pax of F3 enjoy both (there’s a reason CSAUP is a thing).

YHC arrived around 5:00 to get everything set up: 11 signs posted throughout the AO with different exercises on each. Pax broke up into 4 teams (speed mattered – partner with pax who will go at a similar pace as you). Each team was given two dice and a list of locations around the AO. Simple instructions: roll the dice, find the number on the map, mosey to that place, find the sign, complete the exercise. Tried to make it as idiot-proof as possible. Exercises were:

Hair burners
Double-merkin burpees (15)
Hand release burpees (10)
Down Murderhorn and AYG back up (more on this later)
Up and down Stone Mountain hill 3x
25 Derkins and 25 incline merkins
Run speed bump alley, 10 merkins at each speed bump
Jack Webb: start with 1/4 and go up to 5/20
50 LBCs
10 prairie-fire Mary
25 pistol crunch, each leg

Get to as many as you can, meet back at launch at 6:15. Done.

The goal was to switch it up and keep pax moving at a comfortable pace. YHC’s team had an unfortunate habit of rolling the Murderhorn, so we had the “pleasure” of hitting that three times. After that, the burpees were a breeze. We got in over 4 miles, another team had 2.75.

Milton (re-named FNG) is a beast. Watch out for him at your next workout. He was killing the MH and taking no prisoners. Sound off below on observations from your different teams.

Hope you guys enjoyed the change of pace. It was an honor to lead you fine men.

Thanks to Tiny Dancer for the takeout.

A Chile Morning for Nickels

10 pax made all the fartsackers look FIA-ready by posting this cold-ass morning. We needed to warm up, so we got right after it.

The Thang:

Mosey to the lot in front of Smoke (who doesn’t like the smell of smoked meat in the morning?) for COP. I could say this was an homage to Brisket and Pulled Pork, but I’d be lying.

Merkins x 15 IC
SSH x 15 IC
IW x 15 IC
LSS x 15 IC
Merkins x 10 IC

Mosey to the bottom of our favorite hill #murderhorn for the first triple nickel to the first street on the left: 5 werkins at the top, 5 diamond merkins at the bottom, 5x.

Once that fun was over, mosey to the rockpile, grab a rock, and continue moseying to the pool parking lot for the second triple nickel: 5 curls with rock at the bottom, bear crawl halfway up the lot, sprint the other half to the top, 5 merkins. Run back down, rinse and repeat 5x. Active recovery with some Freddy Mercury x15 IC.

Next triple nickel: 5 pull-ups (6 for those needing to get 30 in for the pull-up/merkin challenge) at the playground, run to the covered pool area for 5 step-ups each leg, 5x.

Next: 5 merkins at the top of the parking lot, run down to your rock for 5 overhead presses, run back up to the top, 5x. Time running low, so we headed back to the base of the ‘Horn for an AYG to the top, followed by active recovery with LBCs. Once we collected the six, moseyed back to launch for 10 merkins IC, 15 Dolly, and another 10 merkins IC. Done.

Skinny:

How the hell did Dear Abbey and the Centurion crowd get 5 triple-nickels in recently? I read that BB and thought it was a great concept for Stonecrest with all there is to do. We might have been able to get 5 if we stayed on campus, but I wanted to give the Challenge pax a chance to get in their pull-ups. Totals were 25-30 pull-ups and 190 merkins.

Doc was freaking beasting all morning long. His home country (Chile) would have been proud. I was 2nd place on the first triple nickel on the MH and almost got lapped. I think he did an extra round on every Nickel. Great work. We love having you out to Rebel Yell every Thursday to make the rest of us look really slow. He does, however, need to work on his bear crawls. It’s very awkward and “hoppy” looking. I’m sure I could call it cheating but then I would just sound jealous.

Morning After and Fredo were with YHC most of the morning behind Doc, pushing hard. MA just quietly gets after it every post, and Fredo is getting strong in a very short period of time. I still don’t believe the dude is a #respect.

Everyone worked hard today. Because of the cold, YHC wanted to keep everyone moving. Thank you all for showing up and pushing through. You’re better for it and we’re all better for having done it beside you. #ISI

Thank you to HB and Strawberry for letting me lead.

Announcements:

Bucky’s neighborhood is holding a Brewfest/fundraiser for an orphanage in Kenya on 4/29. If you like beer, go.

Providence Presbyterian Church wall project is this Saturday morning, 3/18, between 8-12. Come if you want to get yelled at by an ornery Scot.

Savage Race is 5/13. Sign up if you’re not a pansy. If you are a pansy, still sign up and get better #ISI

Watch out for those curbs

What happens when a site FNG gets to lead? In YHC’s case, he trips and falls flat on his face, non-metaphorically speaking. More on that later……

24 pax knew the greatest Q in the world was leading Peak 51 today woke up bright and early, took a breath of fresh air, and said “damn, I want to go sweat with a bunch of dudes in the gloom.” They chose Peak 51, and sweat was created in the following manner:

Thang

Mosey up to Trade St., hang a right, hang another right into a strip mall parking lot for COP

SSH x 24 IC (YHC’s method of counting the pax for planned weinke)
Merkins x 10
IW x 20
LSS x 15

Mosey down Trade, hang a right on John St. Cross over John when coast is clear, into the Post Office parking lot. Mary while we wait for the six:

Freddy Mercury x 15 IC
Rosalita x 10 en Espanol cadence

Meander on over to the hill for a round of Jacob’s Ladder. Didn’t know if the top was big enough for burpees, so pax did burpees at the bottom, ran up the hill and back down. Started with 1 burpee, went up to seven burpees. Plank when finished. After a few 10-counts, mosey back over John St. turn left to run through the townhomes, back around to the strip mall, with supposed residences on the second floor.

At this point, YHC had probably the most embarassing moment of my F3 life. As we were turning the corner to head to the strip mall, YHC caught a bump in the road and just bit it. Thankfully, the only thing hurt at that point was my dignity and pride #thankslongsocks. T-claps to the pax for not giving me very much crap about it #exceptsmokey. YHC definitely deserved it. It was funny. YHC has a feeling that if that happened at my more routine workouts, I wouldn’t have lived it down for a while. But I digress…..

At this point, “responsible” site-Q’s threw a wrench in the weinke. The plan was to do three-man grinders where the runner runs up the stairs, across the building, and back down. However, YHC was informed that those were residences up there and we shouldn’t mess with the stairs. Well, damn. We did not-as-good grinders across the retail shops in the building, LBCs at one end, tempo merkins at the other #formmatters

Since no stairs were involved, YHC got bored with this rather quickly, so we moseyed to the little track to finish off the morning. Did some prolonged protractor while we waited on the six. Partner up, P1 runs, P2 does called exercise.

Round 1 – squats
Round 2 – CDDs

Mary: Flutter, Dolly, American Hammer, Heels 2 Heaven, Box Cutters

Mosey back to launch, and we’re done.

Skinny

Big thanks to Booyah and Sensei for having me out. It was a lot of fun Qing a site I had never posted at. Supposedly, they’ve never used the hill by the post office – hopefully it will get into the regular rotation. It’s not huge, but it will do the trick for a moderate workout. Hopefully they’ll have me back out again sometime.

Burpees at the beginning are always effective in getting the heart rate up and warming up. Grinders would have been better with the stairs, but hopefully they kept the HR up for most pax. The little track was a nice quick loop, right up until the backstretch when it was a bit uphill and dead into the wind. Altogether, it was a pretty simple weinke, but hopefully all pax got their money’s worth.

Booyah and Sensei run a great show. Excellent turnout and everyone was really supporting one another – the definition of what F3 is. Keep up the great work, gentlemen. Thanks, again, for turning the keys over this morning.

Little Mike with the inspirational takeout.

Announcements:

Keep Fix-it-Felix’s friend in your prayers as he is dealing with a cancer issue
Richard Sheltra race in Pineville on April 29
Savage Race on May 13th in Concord. Area 51, SOBs, and surrounding regions are supporting this CSAUP in lieu of the Columbia mud run.

AMRAP and Merlot

After staying up and watching the terrible ending to that Super Bowl, YHC was tempted to channel his inner Haggis and bring an angry Q to this week’s rendition of Base Camp. However, after picking up Tiny Dancer (FNG Mike) in the morning, YC realized that an angry Q probably wouldn’t be the best way to welcome him to F3. YHC has been EHing him for a while, and wanted to make sure he “enjoyed” himself. There was no need to make him spill merlot the first time out – bring him along slowly. Silly Q……

Proper and thorough disclaimer was given. Liability removed, and we were off:

The Thang

Mosey to the day care parking lot for COP:

SSH x 20
IW x 20
Plank position – YHC called out a Pax to recite the mission of F3.

As an aside – after reading another BB that did a similar bit, YHC realized this was something that hadn’t been done at Base Camp in a while (if ever). All pax should be aware of the mission of F3, and YHC wanted to help that endeavor along.

The mission of F3 is to plant, grow, and serve small workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership. 3 pax got it wrong. 5 merkins after each. We had a lot to do, so YHC recited it and we were off.

Mosey to the corner of Strawberry and 51. Head to the park – do 10 merkins at the first lamp post, 15 LBCs at the second. Keep switching back and forth at each lamppost until you reach the park entrance. YHC headed back for the six, Fireman Ed led Mary. I’m surprised he didn’t bust out the Jack Webb.

Once we were all together, we moseyed to the playground parking lot where YHC took them through a circuit that looked like this:

Station 1: 10 flutters
2: 10 pull-ups
3: 10 cock curls and 10 step ups with rock pressed overhead
4: 15 LBCs
5: 10 merkins

We did this circuit AMRAP for about 12 minutes. Wanted the Base Camp pax to get a little taste of AMRAP and push themselves. Once we collected everyone, we did a little Mary (Dolly x 15 and Freddy Mercury x 10), then moseyed back to launch with a few stops to collect the six and an AYG up the last hill on 51. Got back about a minute late. #cobains.

Holy Moly

Everyone was really pushing out there today. Kotters to Drano, who’s been fighting a bug, and thanks to him for keeping an eye on the six all morning. #siteqhazing. Sheldon and Fireman Ed were pushing it hard today. Ed can really move when he wants to (which isn’t often). I think he was just determined to stay up with me so he could critique my merkin form. I could do the most perfect merkins on the planet, and he would still critique my form. Was super impressed with Sheldon’s performance, and then found out he was 22 #agematters. Way to push it, Sheldon. Keep coming out.

Want to give props to Costanza. He’s getting stronger every week. Soon enough, YHC is going to convince him to Q.

Welcome back to Niles, as well. Was an FNG last week and showed up again this morning. After almost 3 miles, he may question his choice of foot apparel, but we hope he keeps coming out. He was wearing what looked like hiking boots.

For the first time in, well, ever, both Adobe and Insomniac showed up ON TIME. YHC was questioning his watch when they both showed up in time for some pre-thang BS. Pretty sure this won’t happen again until 2018.

Welcome to FNG Tiny Dancer. He just moved down here from NYC and moved in Smash’s neighborhood. Now he has less excuses to post as there are multiple pax that can pick him up (until he figures out where the hell he’s going). In all honesty, TD is one of the nicest guys YHC has ever known, so get to know him. He’ll be a great addition to our brotherhood. YHC feels a little bad that he made TD spill merlot this morning.

Announcements:

Savage race on 5/13. Can run as an individual or as a group of 4. Get your team and sign up. Will be great 2nd F among the A51, SOB, UC, IL, and Fort pax.

As always, it is an honor to lead. YHC is humbled you all chose to follow. Remember to be a beacon of light as you go out into our community this morning. F3’s mission to “invigorate male community leadership” is a mission that all pax should take to heart. With all the vitriol in our world today, let us be an ever-shining example of what can happen when individuals come together and collectively choose to make a difference in the community.

“But, it goes to eleven…”

The PAX knew they were in for a rough day when guest Q announced himself with longest disclaimer in F3 history. Did I mention, “I am not a professional”? 20 fool hardy and winter-tested brutes emerged from the gloom to work up an icy sweat…

The Thang

Mosey to upper parking lot
Warm up
​SSH X 11
​IW X 11
​CDD X 11
​LSS X 11

Mosey to Strawberry Station 1
​Identify Speed hump traffic slowing mechanism
​Identify traffic circle
​Partner up: P1 runs the loop while P2 works, then flapjack – Diamond merkin X 11, LSS X 11, Plank when done
​Simba Q-jacked a few LBC’s into the mix

Mosey to Strawberry Station 2
​Keep your partner: P1 runs the loop while P2 works, then flapjack – Merkin X 11, Lunge X 11, Plank when done

Mosey to School
​Keep your partner: P1 wall sits while P2 works, then flapjack – Decline merkin X 11, Jump squat X 11
Another Q-jack called repeat

Mosey to Ball Field Bleachers
​Keep your partner: P1 works while P2 works, then flapjack (repeato) – Dips X 11, Step-ups X 11
​Plank when done

Mosey to the Track for a cool-down lap

Mosey to the parking lot for a little Mary
​Freddie Mercury X 11
​Rosalita X 11 (en Espanglish)
​Protractor (finish at 11 degrees)

Moleskin:
Thanks for patience with the Q – I think he did well to show up on time. YHC took the intermittent laughter as expressions of joy over participating in such a well-defined and structured workout. See you next week, when we’ll probably do at least 12 of everything. Welcome to Niles; the new blood performed well and the Force is strong with him. Also good to see some peeps I hadn’t seen in a while (that means you, Geraldo).

Announcements:
Savage Run coming up later this year. There are individual and Team options and it comes well-recommended. Check the interwebs/tweeter for further details.

Not that #!$*?! song again!

Either there was an unannounced convergence at the Maul this morning, or YHC is developing a reputation for a hard Weinke. Or possibly, MT went on a text/DM/Slack/MySpace advertising campaign last night to prove to everyone he still posts. Nevertheless, 28 pax, including one FNG, showed up at the Maul this morning. Who knows how many regretted it. Here’s why:

Thang:

Warm up lap around movie theater parking lot, circle up
SSH x 10 IC
ISW x 10 IC
Plank for the Sally Challenge (to Moby’s song “Flower”)

Major #Qfail when YHC tried to modify the screen on the phone and it skipped to the next song. Only got through about 1/3 of the song. Oh well. Had to go with it. There was plenty on the docket. Mosey to the bottom of the Murderhorn.

AYG up to the top. LBCs and Dolly x 15 IC while waiting on the 6. Recovery mosey back down to the bottom. Merkins and plank-o-Rama while waiting on the 6.

Repeato. LBCs and other Mary while the 6 comes up. Recovery mosey back down for Plank-o-Rama.

AYG to the first street on the left, recover mosey back down.

Collect everyone at the bottom and mosey to the rockpile for 2 rounds of:

Overhead press
Tricep curls
Bicep curls
Squats
Bent Rows

First round was x15. Second was x10. Put rocks back where you found them, mosey to bottom of MH. AYG to the top one last time. Mary while we collect the 6.

Mosey to launch lot for “Flower” round 2: ab version. Hold 6 inches and bring up to 90 degrees and back down every time “Bring Sally Up, Bring Sally Down.” Harder than it sounds.

Finish with 30 seconds of Protractor. Done.

Skinny:

The mumblechatter began early with this motley crew and only escalated with a disclaimer that only a mother could love. Not many fans of the first Sally Challenge at the beginning of the workout #crowdpleaser. Unfortunately, we didn’t get through it all #Qfail. YHC knew what was coming, so there wasn’t much worry.

Rachel, Mic Check, Wingman, Heartbreaker, and Squid led the way on the Murderhorn. Bean and YHC were right behind that group. Didn’t see who was right behind us #suckingwind. MH is slightly easier when you know exactly how many are going to be called #Qvantage

T-Claps to Lex for rucking this one. He probably wasn’t expecting MH repeats, and probably not too happy when they were called. Thanks for coming out. Don’t know if we’ve ever posted together, but it was great to meet you.

Good to see some guys Back out in the gloom: Philmont, Madame (too much travel), Big Tuna (old and breaking down), and Torpedo (strained vagina).

Other things we learned:
– Bean had to leave early to pick up pickles and ice cream for his pregnant wife. Over/under on how many times that kid is going to hear “That’s so cute you live with your mom and your grandpa!”
– Frehley’s Comet ran the New York marathon in 1967
– All the marathon training has paid off for Wingman. He was moving out there. However, his wife still finished ahead of him at the Kiawah Marathon #trainhardernexttime
– Mic Check is mourning the firing of Chip Kelly. He was certain that was the coach to lead the Niners back to glory.

Need to wrap this up to head to a meeting. Thank you all for a showing up. As always, it was an honor to lead.

Announcements:
Joe Davis this Saturday. You can still sign up. Might be fun to run a 5 or 10K in snow.

MT is running Timekeeper on Tuesdays. He posts about it all the time on Twitter and the website, so just look for it.

Thanks Lex for the takeout.

The silent majesty of a winter’s morn

23 pax definitely felt the clean, cool chill of the holiday air this morning. Luckily, there was no @$$hole in his bathrobe…. just Spackler. With 4 FNG’s present and a crisp 40-degree morning (more on this later), we were off to do the following at 5:30 sharp:

Thang:

A few warm up laps to catch Steinbrenner coming in hot. Stop by Semi-Gloss’ office for a quick COP:

SSH x 15 IC
IW x 15 IC
Merkins x 10 IC
LSS x 10 IC

Head down to the track for the main event. See the track is covered with precipitation. Call an audible and head back up to the parking lot for the 12 Days of Christmas:

1 Burpee
2 lunges each leg
3 squats
4 merkins
5 diamond merkins
6 WW2 sit-ups
7 CDDs
8 LBCs
9 MC
10 American Hammer
11 Plank Jacks
12 Burpees

We ran back and forth in the parking lot between sets to break it up. We ripped through that quicker than anticipated, so YHC started winging it. Head back over to Gloss’ office and choose a lifting rock.

15 overhead press
20 bent rows
25 curls

Did 3 rounds of this. First and second round interrupted with a 90-second People’s Chair. Rounds 2 and 3 interrupted by a 70-second PC. Still a little time left so we headed down to the bleachers for one round of partner work. P1 ran up the stairs and down the ramp while P2 does step ups on the bleachers. Flapjack. Mosey back up to the lot and finito.

Moleskine

40 degrees my butt. It felt like 20. Thankfully YHC grabbed a hat and sweatshirt before heading out this morning because those saved my rear end. As a side note, don’t weather people have the easiest jobs in the world? You can screw up half the time and have total and complete job security. Unreal. But I digress…. It was cold. That sweatshirt stayed on the entire time.

4 FNGs on a morning like this is awesome. Thanks to Drano who brought 2, Beaker and Early Bird who brought a co-worker, and Rapper’s Delight and Drago who brought a buddy. We hope to see all of them out again soon, even the dude from Venezuela.

FNG Dario from Venezuela is now Cabrera. Named after the best right-handed hitter in the game, who happens to be from Venezuela. This one took YHC approximately 14 nanoseconds to come up with.

FNG Caleb Friend became Bestie. Simba wouldn’t leave without this being the case.

FNG John became Blue, because he’s like 80. Actually, he’s about 67, which is absolutely amazing to see him out here. I hope he comes back, mostly because the name is perfect (credit to Spackler).

FNG Raymond became Lab Rat. He claimed to be Beaker and Early Bird’s lab rat, so he unknowingly named himself.

Thanks to all for bringing them out. Now make sure they come back!

Other observations:

Spackler and Bounce talked the entire workout, and did about half the exercises. They still burned as many calories, if not more, for the constant flapping of the gums. We learned that Spackler may take January off from drinking, and that he really doesn’t like F3 THIS much. He also found a new vodka that tastes just like Tito’s but is $8 less. His wife told him to watch the budget this month. Bounce just grunted and rolled his eyes.

Beaker has a 4-year F3 anniversary coming up, yet was unaware that some F3 workouts involve lying on the ground #damnrunners. He was quite perturbed by getting the back of his shirt wet.

If ABBA is at your next workout, please provide him with clear, concise, handwritten instructions. He can’t follow such simple directions as “run UP the stairs,” even when there is only one set of stairs.

I didn’t hear Puddin Pop’s rear end once this morning. I’m convinced something is wrong – please check on him if you see him.

Announcements:

Joe Davis run 1/7
Look for convergences for next week.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Shitter was full.

Chelms’ form is quite the topic of conversation

10 of south Charlotte’s finest pax, and Chelms, gathered at CCHS this frigid morning for this week’s episode of Centurion. YHC was excited to Q Centurion for the first time, thanks to the invite from Margo. Disappointed that I didn’t see some regulars (Hops, Ickey, Dear Abbey), excited that I didn’t have to smell some others (Frehley’s). Feeling a little bad that Paper “I don’t run” Jam was about to be running for 45 minutes straight #amrap #cobains. Proper and thorough disclosure (Nantan was in attendance) started at 5:29:40 so by 5:30:00 we were moseying to Tartarus for…

The Thang: the Inferno

5 stations up Tartarus – each pointed out while warming up with SSH x 10 IC, IW x 10 IC, LSS x 10 IC, merkins x 5 IC, MC x 10 IC.

Each set of exercises done at each station. Get in as many as you can. Fahvra and Fire Hazard finished this at the Brave (15 minutes longer), so YHC was skeptical anyone would be finishing.

Round 1: 3 Burpees
Round 2: 3 Burpees, 8 Merkins
Round 3: 3 Burpees, 8 Merkins, 13 Squats
Round 4: 3 Burpees, 8 Merkins, 13 Squats, 18 LBCs
Round 5: 3 Burpees, 8 Merkins, 13 Squats, 18 LBCs, 23 CDDs
Round 6: 3 Burpees, 8 Merkins, 13 Squats, 18 LBCs
Round 7: 3 Burpees, 8 Merkins, 13 Squats
Round 8: 3 Burpees, 8 Merkins
Round 9: 3 Burpees

Pax were instructed to head back the launch lot around 6:14 if they hadn’t completed the ladder. No one did. Leaders got about halfway through round 8.

Y.O.M.

This workout sucks, and it sucks even worse after YHC has been off for a week on vacation (and everything that goes with it: no working out and bad diet). I spent all the time in the back with a few others, sucking wind. Please chime in with any observations, including any additional comments on Chelms’ form (which we’ll get to in a bit).

Rachel, Mermaid, and either Brilleaux or ABBA (sorry – don’t post with you guys very often so I don’t know who is who), set a great pace at the front. As aforementioned, they got halfway up round 8 before having to head back to the lot. Damn good work. Adds up to almost 3 miles, all in the deck (which is a workout in and of itself). Great job, men. Chelms was not far behind them, and the other 7 of us were kind of bunched together the whole time.

Champagne and Paper Jam were carrying on a regular conversation the entire time, sharing recipes and beauty tips. Champagne knows a few italian recipes now, and Paper Jam couldn’t stop talking about how good he would look if he shaved every inch of his body. Sorry it wasn’t tougher for you guys. Hopefully you’ll give me another shot #hairburnersnexttime

Now, what is there to say about Chelms? Terrible form? Yeah, we know. His reputation stretches far and wide in F3 circles. You could go faster, too, if your merkins consisted of lowering your body a whole entire inch (and nothing more) before returning to plank position, or if the only thing “low” on your low slow squats were your feet. Finally, everyone knows that his burpee form resembles geriatric love-making. However, as Yoda wisely says: when 51 years you reach, have as good of form you will not. Give the dude a little bit of credit……

Or don’t. That form is terrible.

Thank you to Margo and Chelms for the invite. I enjoyed it and will hopefully be asked back. I look forward to joining you guys at Centurion more often. Thank you to Paper Jam for the insightful takeout.

Look for info on Chelms’ service work. Paper Jame and Paper Clip had rave reviews.
COTS sign ups for 1/1/17
Joe Davis run 1/7