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Long Over Do Weight Loss Update

As we enter Week 5 YHC has not been able to provide as frequent updates as expected.  In fact had to schedule a work travel trip in order to ensure an update can be posted.  So without further adieu let us see how the competition is shaping up.  Remember competition ends 3/5/20.

Current Top 3 Individuals who are in the money:

  1. Smithers – down 22.7 lbs (9.0%) continues to use his TI 84 calculator to record every meal and has taken control of the top spot in week 5.
  2. Blades of Glory – down 23.4 lbs (8.4%) did he shoot from the red line with early weight loss and incur an “icing” infraction or can he find his way to his goal weight.  Time will tell
  3. Doughboy – down 22 lbs (7.7%) based on losing the top spot has committed to reducing intake from 1,000 calories day to just a mini rice cake in hopes of reclaiming the crown.  On side note, ensure all Q’s going forward have proper chap stick on site to resuscitate if needed.


Pax just outside the money

  • Deflated – down 15.3 lbs (7.4%) potential to reach Top 3 if warm weather kicks in as additional layers will begin to increase sweat output
  • Foundation – down 17.4 lbs (7.1%), due to fat shaming by Smithers at remains in striking contention
  • Boitano – down 13.2 lbs (5.6%), Give him a grape or an orange but none of that stinkin rootbeer until this competition is over.
  • Deadwood – down 9.4 lbs* (4.4%) was down last week with swine flu…in where he just ate bacon.  Somehow between the 20+ weigh ins on everything from official scale, scale at home, to produce scale at Harris Teeter supposedly is down 9 lbs.
  • Banjo – down 10 lbs (4.1%), made it through Dryuary, interested to see impact of latest beer run from this past Saturday
  • Deep Dish – down 8.4 lbs (4.0%), appears to switched out the deep dish for the lean cuisines and almost down double digits

Pax outside looking in…

  • Recalculating – down 6.2 lbs (3.0%), did he subscribe to the liquid diet?  After 3 drinks, does not give crap what he weighs?  We shall see in next few weigh ins coming up
  • Jingles – down 7.6 lbs (2.9%), not only a lurker on GroupMe but looking to lurk and magically appear at final weigh in a winner?  We will find out
  • Nails – down 5.5 lbs (2.2%), with no additional logged weights unsure of progress.  But teammate Zin has sent him on trip to Haiti in hopes of remodeling his teammate.
  • Fuse Box – down 5.4 lbs (2.2%), the Don of Briarcrest will the client roadshow end and allow for him to move up chart?
  • Zin – down 4.6 lbs (2.1%), refuses to weigh in again until it earns him a new badge, request remains in pending status with app help desk
  • On Time down 4.6 lbs (1.9%) continues to drop lbs while on IR.  Will time run out before he can cash in?
  • Rudy – down 4.2 lbs (1.8%), continues to show up every morning, but will Coach Devine finally let him log another weigh in?
  • Damascus – down 3.8 lbs (1.6%), has not weighed in past week 1, YHC still has 10+ emails to answer related to questions being asked on how competition works
  • Wedding Singer – down 3.2 lbs (1.4%), Farewell tour added few lbs from week 1, lets see what CO living does in final weeks
  • Brutus – down 2 lbs (0.9%), unsure if consistent posting of waffles by Recalc has caused him to avoid scale, but lets see if he will log another weight this comp

Team Standings:

  1. Team Ice Capades (Deflated/Blades Glory/Boitano)  – 21.4%
  2. Team Chocolate Cookie (Deadwood/Foundation/Smithers) – 20.4%
  3. Team Hunger Games(Recalc/Doughboy/Banjo) – 14.9%
  4. Team Rex Ryan Love Bunions (Deep Dish/Jingles/Damascus) – 8.5%
  5. Team Delirium Tremens (Zin/Nails/Rudy) – 6.2%
  6. Team Traveling Circus (Brutus/Fuse/Wedding Singer) – 4.4%

Remember a few weeks left, lets see how many more can cross into the 20+ lbs club by the final weigh in.

3 for LRC

3 Pax met at Stephens Square Lane (Poop Island) for another rendition of LRC.  Today’s course was the “Standard Loop” which is approx 1.5 miles.  Each pax completed 4 laps and finished with 6 miles total.


  • Check out the app for new badges available (ie: Forest Go, Passport, Q School, etc)
  • Craft Beer Half Marathon and 5 mile race on 3/28/20  sign up at –
  • Monthly F3 Waxhaw Social Event this week Thursday (2/6) at Queens South
  • Q School Saturday February 8th – Come learn and earn a badge
  • Rooster Run on February 29th –
  • Deadline to order F3 Waxhaw Shirts on 2/7/20 – check Playhouse for details
  • F3 Beer Run! 4mi+ 6 breweries this Saturday 2/8 starting at 12:00
  • 3-2-1 Dash for Down Syndrome (Speed for Need Event) – 3/21 coordinate with Zin/Deadwood to get involved
  • F3 Denver New AO recently launched – look for Wedding Singer on Q or if looking to add Passport Badge book flight to stay at his house and post on upcoming Wednesday
  • Weigh in competiton – be sure to get weights logged and if in bottom 1/2 be sure to complete weekly penalty

No, I mentioned the Bisque….

21 Pax came out to Watchtower including some of the pax who enjoy higher mileage (Gerber, Hollywood, and Dasher) so what will we do, provide a workout that is under 2 miles.  So with DCCS completed and 0:30 sec left before 5:30 it is time to go.

Warm up:

Mosey through parking lot and once in front of school – shuffle facing school, shuffle facing road, butt kickers, high knees, circle around at stop sign and circle up.

Smurf Jacks
Imperial Walkers
Recalc (Old Man) Stretch
Mt Climbers
Calf Stretch


Partner up with some one equal speed and split into 2 teams.  Using the official F3 “workout deck” begin by flipping a card to reveal 1st exercise for each team to start with.  On Go – first person from each team sprints to given point for that round and back.  When return flip a card to reveal next exercise.

  • Round 1: Sprint to Stop Sign, and split reps between the last 2 cards flipped yadda, yadda, yadda….and for round 1 we have a split decision.  Both teams complete 10 burpees
  • Round 2: Sprint to 2nd light, and split reps between the last 2 cards flipped – yadda, yadda, yadda….and Team 1 is victorious and Team 2 has 20 burpees
  • Round 3: Switch to opposite end and go to stop sign (shorter sprint), and perform exercise on card flipped….yadda…yadda…yadda and Team 2 is victorious.  Team 1 with burpee penalty
  • Final Round: Repeat to stop sign (shorter sprint), and perform exercise on card flipped….yadda….yadda…yadda and Dasher pulls out the win on the anchor run for Team 2.  Team 1 with burpee penalty

Quick mosey back to COT and Finish.



  • Based on not knowing each of the exercises, the Seinfeld scene of yadda, yadda, yadda comes to mind.  But at least I mentioned the best part – use of the official F3 workout deck
  • Believe Hollywood/Gerber’s Strava is sending SOS signals to family members thinking that something went wrong based on recorded mileages of under 2 miles
  • Many pax have uncanny ability to find another gear in sprints when potentially faced with burpee penalty….cough…cough…Posse, Shake & Bake, Showgirl
  • Glider enjoyed the opportunity to run multiple legs of sprints as anchor and start of rounds 2 & 3.
  • So here is where I use soap box to voice all things we should do – yadda, yadda, yadda…. You get the picture.  Come out and have some fun.
  • Twinkle Toes got the unfortunate opportunity to run against YHC in 2 of the rounds.  Round 1 YHC was behind and did all he could to get in way to slow down, in round 2 YHC was ahead and Twinkle thought about trying to step in front but he saw head go down and bracing for contact.



  • Keep Doc in prayers and thoughts as he continues to recover
  • Reach out to other pax that have been missing for a while and check in and/or get them back out and connected
  • If you want to refinance or need assistance with mortgage go to  Glider who is happy to assist might be due to conversation heard earlier of wife no longer wanting to drive minivan.
  • Sign up for the Rooster which is next CSAUP event in Rock Hill on 2/29 from 6:00 – 10:00 am.

Seinfeld quote - Elaine mentioned the bisque to Jerry, 'The Yada Yada'

105th rendition of Floater – Crossy Roads Remix

19 Pax gathered by the water tower in downtown Waxhaw today for the Floater.  5:28 and DICCS covered being covered by Carbload and clock strikes 5:30 before getting to the S for Safety and we are off and running.  Head towards Providence and safely and uniformly cross (crossy roads round 1) to sidewalk and beeline towards Lawson.  Once YHC reaches Lawson circle back for the 6 and modify to meet all at the bank by Family Dollar.

Circle up waiting for the 6 completing SSH until all are in.  (Big 10 miss you buddy and please come back out soon)

Within circle assume plank position and complete multiple exercises including:

  • Plank Jacks
  • Parker Peters
  • Mt Climbers
  • Stump Jumps
  • Twig Jumps
  • Merkins

Along with various other exercises as all grunted/belly ached and had to endure different pitchs of cadence counting.

Once complete head over to front of Family Dollar for “Shopping for Pain” which includes incrementally increasing exercise count at each store front in plaza (14 stores in total).  Once complete sprint back to start

  • Round 1: Gas pumps
  • Round 2: Aussie Burpees (Good Day Mate!)
  • Round 3: SSH (Again Big 10 sorry you missed it)
  • Round 4: Broad Jumps

Upon completion it was Crossy Roads level 3 to get back to COT.  With +4:00 mins on the clock go around for Name-O-Rama and name the FNG (WooHoooWooHoo, Paddles, Flat Line) No Quit.

Announcements: (If Frack was in attendance would have completed 300+ LBC’s)

  • Folding Party tonight at Christ Closet House
  • 3rd F Opportunities
    • Sunday mornings @ Five Stones
    • Monday evenings @ Brooklyn Pizza
  • 3 AO’s on tap for tomorrow – Swarm, Impromptu, Diesel
  • Wedding Singer send off Saturday @ Queens South
  • Deep Dish – heal up brother!

Image result for crossy road


Image result for game over


3 Pax made it on time to LRC and a 4th (Smithers) came in late for today’s installment of LRC.  Today we returned back to our roots and went about the Original Loop (1.5 mile) on the old side of Lawson.  With pax all at the start we synced our watches and were off and running with a target of 5 miles.

Pace was hot from the start (sub 9:00/mile) and few time YHC requested the pace to slow down to no avail.  Around the 5K mark, our elder Pax (Recalc) took a detour and headed back home.

Remaining 3 musketeers finished the 5 miles and recovered back to COT.



  • None

Next week Smithers on Q @ LRC.  Start time 5:30 at Poop Island (Periwinkle/Riverbank).

F3 Waxhaw Weight Loss Competition – Week 1 Results and Recap

Week 1 results are in and we are off to a great start with all but 1 Pax posting a positive result.  Time will tell as week 1 usually is the easiest and the real challenge comes in the upcoming weeks.  So with that lets take a look and see what the leader board shows.

Current Top 3 Individuals who are in the money:

  1. Doughboy – down 19 lbs (6.7%) with a nearly 3% lead on the group.  Will the burn 3,000 a day, consume a single rice cake diet work over the next 8 weeks, time will tell.
  2. Deflated – down 8 lbs (3.8%), a bit of a surprise here as he was towards the lower initial weigh ins.  YHC already feels like Roger Goodell as other teams have requested the Commish to look into potential cheating scandal.  We may need to tap into F3 Waxhaw budget to hire external audtiors to review app coding
  3. Smithers – down 9 lbs (3.5%) due to some excellent coaching and inability to have a lunch break at work things are going as planned for him


Additional Pax who are safe this week from week 1 penalty:

  • Foundation – down 8.6 lbs (3.5%), in contention and decision to bulk up nearly 20 lbs since last comp…proving wise thus far
  • Boitano – down 8 lbs (3.4%), skating along looking to strike in upcoming weeks
  • Blades of Glory – down 8.8 lbs (3.2%), solid start out the gate and believe avoided the croissant this morning.  Good work!
  • Jingles – down 7.6 lbs (2.9%), good to see you made it out to Pursuit this morning.  May need to get that toe looked at by Dr based on scale pic
  • Banjo – down 6 lbs (2.5%), held out to final weigh in chance and barely missed the penalty list.  Potential sleeper pick to win if bald spot continues to grow
  • Wedding Singer – down 5.6 lbs (2.4%), final pax to avoid penalty.   Major concern though with upcoming move to CO and potential for munchies to derail momentum

Pax who face a 100 merkin penalty this week:

  • Recalculating – down 4.8 lbs (2.4%), old man will need to increase prune consumption to avoid penalties in upcoming weeks
  • Nails – down 5.5 lbs (2.2%), good steady start, but possibly one to many BK Impossible Whoppers caused you to miss the cut by 0.3% this week.  Be on look out for 2 puffy coats on next week
  • Zin – down 4.6 lbs (2.1%), believe this more of a strategy play to take early penalty and come on strong in final few weeks.  Time will tell
  • Rudy – down 4.2 lbs (1.8%), should not be concerned as most likely due to weigh in taking place before SSH at site of week 1 weigh ins
  • Damascus – down 3.8 lbs (1.6%), appears to have replaced the glass of Merlot with a brownie in week 1…will see if diet will change once Dryuary complete
  • Fuse Box – down 3.4 lbs (1.4%), with early week 1 weigh in due to entertaining requirements this week with clients, will see if he decides to remove 1 or 2 layers of Rocky I training suit in upcoming weigh ins to avoid week 2 penalty
  • Deep Dish – down 2.4 lbs (1.2%), has he subscribed to the Recalc slow steady approach or Zin strategy play.  More insight to come in week 2
  • Brutus – down 2 lbs (0.9%), like his Wolverines/Lions unable to find pay dirt.  Will be painting goal line in front of refrigerator to avoid crossing in week 2 to get snacks.
  • Deadwood – up 1.2 lbs (-0.6%), appears to be following his “Macros” diet which upon further investigation is really a “Macaroni & Cheese” diet.  Lock it up DW! Fellow team members have discussed poking him in good eye to ensure he can’t find fridge in week 2.


Team Standings:

  1. Team Hunger Games(Recalc/Doughboy/Banjo) – 11.6%
  2. Team Ice Capades (Deflated/Blades Glory/Boitano)  – 10.4%
  3. Team Chocolate Cookie (Deadwood/Foundation/Smithers) – 6.4%
  4. Team Delirium Tremens (Zin/Nails/Rudy) – 6.1%
  5. Team Rex Ryan Love Bunions (Deep Dish/Jingles/Damascus) – 5.7%
  6. Team Traveling Circus (Brutus/Fuse/Wedding Singer) – 4.7%


For those who owe penalty need to complete prior to next Thursday.  Week 2 penalties are 100 Bobby Hurley’s

Keep the calories down and exercises going.



Time to Make the Donuts….Croissants!

27 Pax came to Floater this morning for an fun filled workout.  Upon entry YHC and remaining LRC crew got to see Bottlecap and Gerber doing a pre-run.  Unfortunately, they were unable to find a 3rd pax to join them so will not receive an additional post credit.  As we set to park we got to watch Deadwood completing his 100 merkin penalty (+4 lbs….wtf?) for weight loss challenge.  Few final participants getting in their week 1 weights and with about 4 minutes to go we reviewed DCCS.  What is this…could it be did YHC call in a favor and request an early train to avoid traditional warmup and listening to a sober Damascus requesting more calf stretches.  Why yes in deed.  Clock hits 5:30 and circle up boys we have burpees!

Kid Rock now decided to join the pax.  Instead of jumping right in and completing the burpees he and Damascus decide to take a few minutes to discuss the Birds & Bees….or was it proper burpee form.  Either way you have to go down first.

Train passes and we are off and moseying towards “Another Bad Idea” and Q accommodated pax with quick calf stretch while explaining the next series of events.  We will continue to circle up and down the hill.  Alternating between 1:30 secs of running and 30 secs of called exercises.  Each round will consist of 3 sets

  • Round 1: Merkins
  • Round 2: Bobby Hurleys
  • Round 3: Flutters
  • Round 4: Carolina Dry Docks

Goal was to do another 2 rounds but at one point I overheard assault plans being discussed by Easy Button/Dasher so decided to end after 4 rounds.  Gather group at bottom of the hill and mosey towards the parking lot on Main St.  Finish with our last set of Dry Docks waiting on the 6 and a quick routine of Pistol LBC’s and off for another short mosey towards Pelicans Snoballs parking lot.  Circle up and do the following:

  • 25 Smurf Jacks
  • 25 Freddy Mercury’s
  • 25 Speed Skaters (Zin not all of us are Apolo Ohno and need a little more time to move down the ice….or YHC just counts slow)
  • 25 Toe Touches

Next hand it over to Carb Load with request for 1 more exercise for 25 count….lost in translation as to what to do. As YHC slips out of the circle.  As Pax starts to mosey back towards COT….YHC appears from Burney’s Bakery Shop with box of glazed croissants waiting for the group.  Quickly pile the whole crew into the store, snap our family photo….Nailed it!  And we jail break to COT with a +1 min on time.

Additional Mumble Chatter:

  • Pax was lucky as we just missed the “Ken Jennings” of a double train at the Floater.  Will be talking to the NS about how to incorporate in future.
  • Glad to have Deep Dish join us at the Floater and good work out there today.
  • Yes, YHC went to Deflated’s closet and continues to sport the long sleeves.
  • Glad to see Recalc out there this morning after he waffled on LRC yesterday
  • In case anyone ever wondered if a Centaur would slap its own a$$ to run faster…Shake proved why yes they would today as witnessed by Zin
  • Good hustle by Sambuca, Trojan,  and Blades of Glory this morning.
  • As co-site Q we have let Ice9 know that he is to arrange to have Provisions serve Bacon/Egg/Cheese sandwiches next week at completion of his Q.
  • Fuse – thank you for taking the group out in prayer.



F3 Waxhaw Weight Loss Competition

All right fellas we will begin our weight loss competition this week  and it will run for 8 weeks.  The competition will have 3 components – individual overall challenge, team challenge, and weekly challenge.   We will have the scale at various workouts throughout each week to weigh in and we will do our best to announce on GroupMe day before where the scale will be.


  • Entry Fee: $20
    • Fee can be paid via cash, paypal, venmo
  • Register at following link – Registration
  • Competition will include individual/team aspect and weekly penalties
  • Initial Weigh In Dates: 12/31/19  – 1/10/20
    • No additional layers – what you weigh in start / should be same as final weigh in
  • Weekly Weigh In Required between Monday – Thursday (by noon)
  • Final Weigh In – must be recorded no later then 3/5/20
    • Weight will be registered either on Google Sheet or APP to be created by Deflated (thank you in advance)
  • Winner will be based on % total weight loss
  • Payout:
    • 40% goes to Individual Winner
    • 20% goes to 2nd Place
    • 10% goes to 3rd Place
    • 30% goes to Top Team
  • All rules and interpretations of rules are left to Commish (YHC) to decide
    • If you have complaints on format, we appreciate feedback and look forward to the 2021 competition you have taken the Q on


Individual Component:

  • Top 3 Pax who lose the highest % of weight from initial weigh in get paid based on % above.  Weights must be registered on official scale to count.


Team Component: (part where we completely confuse Damascus and need to answer 30 questions on Noush Anal (News Channel)  (helpless EFFEE plug #fusedit) :

  • The Commish (YHC) will determine team assignments based on registered Pax
    • Format TBD – random, XFL Style, or other way to improve YHC chances to win
  • Points will be awarded based on order of finish for individual score (ex: 20 participants – 1st place gets 20 pts, 2nd place 19pts…..20th place 1 pt)
  • Will drop lowest individual score of team
  • Will combine remaining scores for highest total team score

Weekly Challenge:

  • After each weekly weigh in, we will determine the individual leader board standings
  • Anyone in the Top 50% receives no penalty
  • Anyone in the Bottom 50% receives penalty as follows (must be completed prior to next weekly weigh in)
  • Fail to record a weight for the week you automatically receive that weeks penalty

Weekly Penalties:

  • Week 1 – 100 Merkins
  • Week 2 –  100 Bobby Hurley’s
  • Week 3 – 100 Speed Skaters
  • Week 4 – 100 Burpees
  • Week 5 – 200 Merkins
  • Week 6 -200 Bobby Hurley’s
  • Week 7 – 200 Speed Skaters
  • Final – 200 Burpees


Look forward to some friendly competition and banter and seeing who will win some cash.



F3 Workout in NJ – Poor Counting & Highly Taxing – Yes!

9 Pax battled the cold and made it out to The Rising for YHC’s 1st guest Q back in NJ.  It was a great group of guys and sure stop on next trip back.  As I was trying to complete my early morning meditation routine fluffing of my weinke I was startled  awakened by  Pharmer’s tunes coming from the car next to me.  We both decided to leave the comfort of the 21* temps of the car to wait for the rest of the Pax to arrive in the 18* weather waiting for us outside.  Soon after Dos Equis came into the lot and bursting out of the car looking as if he just had his third cup of coffee (cawfee), ran 3 miles, and pissing excellence.  We planted the flag and proceeded to the corner of the parking lot as we wait for the other pax to join.  As we got closer to the 6:30 start a few more pax began to pull into lot and join the crew.  With this YHC decided it was the opportune time to whip out DCCS and give an overview to the pax.

  • Disclaimer – Proper F3 disclaimer
  • Cell Phone –  Ensure at least 1 pax has a cell phone
  • CPR – Check to see who has packed their chapstick (Dos Equis & Risky Business) and is willing to save man’s life if needed
  • Safety – Be sure to keep an eye out for ice, cars and be safe this morning

6:34 and we have few more Pax rolling in, so we wait and we run through one more time and we take off  on opening mosey.


  • Quick mosey around parking lot island
  • Circle up for SSH
  • Jimmy Dugans (taken from League Of Their Own – avoid the clap)
  • Mt Climbers
  • Merkins


Partner 7’s

  • P1 runs in one direction around parking island, P2 runs in other direction
  • Meet and do 6 handslap burpees and run back in other direction
  • Meet again and do 1 handslap merkin
  • Repeat with reducing # of burpees by 1 and increasing merkins by 1 each round until you end at 1 burpee and 6 handslap merkins

At completion everyone gets on their 6 and we do some mary before proceeding to next step.

Burpee Indian Run

Direction given to get in line and Burpee Indian Run up to the playground.  Last pax drops and does burpee and runs to front of line.  When passing the last pax in line  he drops and does burpee and runs to front.

Playground Fun

Partner up with new pax at the playground and go to stations:

Round 1

  • Pull ups
  • Step Ups
  • Supines
  • Timer (Run lap around playground)

Round 2:

  • Dips
  • Squats
  • Merkins on Swing
  • Timer (Run lap around playground)

This is always good spot to use and especially when you do not set off the alarms for downtown Waxhaw and have the “Fuzz” begin to question what are a bunch of sweaty old guys doing playing on a swingset in the morning.

Mosey Over to far parking lot by Pool

4 corners

Explain the 4 corners we will go through where on each time out do 5x called exercise and then mosey back to start and increase to next corner until you complete the entire square


  • Merkins
  • Speed Skaters
  • Carolina Dry Docks
    • At this point is when Scar (pax on IR) comes into  lot and finishes out remaining exercises with group
    • Entrance Time would make Posse and Jingles of CLT jealous
  • Bobby Hurley’s (homage to NJ/NC connection

Mosey back to start area with another Indian Burpee Run

Few more minutes left so we will finish with few weave drills

  • Bear Crawl / Plank weave – merkin every time pax passes you
  • Side Shuffle / Plank weave – merkin every time pax passes you

2 minutes left to finish with Mary

  • Flutters
  • Toe Tap LBC
  • Box Cutters



  • Scar – Thanks for coming out and always good to MASH (modified workout while on IR) and be with group.  Good Job!
  • Farmer w/ PH (Pharmer) – Thanks for the water (wader) this morning and not going to lie, had a flash of you as Clark Griswald when you had the face mask on.  Good push throughout the morning
  • Brisket – Appreciate you being my partner on the 7’s, still think there was some fuzzy math among the others as all appeared to finish before our last round.  Must have been due to cold and others wearing mittens and not being able to count to 7 with out using their fingers
  • Churchill (R) – Great work and respect the shorts.  You sure made another pax from NJ (Recalc) proud by sporting those in this climate.  Look forward to having you come migrate down to Waxhaw soon.
  • Red Stripe – Good work on the burpee run, and probably one of the better names based on last name Kingston.  Enjoyed working with you today
  • Mounty –  This must feel like summer for a Canadian like you.  Glad you made it before we took off, you hoser!
  • Risky Business – Good to run with you and for the chatter this morning.  Looks to be a good group here and I am sure you will continue to bring some of the Southern Hospitality north.  Telling you can make millions if you combine pimento cheese and pork roll on sandwich.
  • Dos Equis (RR) – Sir, thank you for allowing me to lead this morning and you have an awesome AO.  Look forward to where you expand the region and other opportunities to workout with the pax.  Also very appreciative of the book.


One of the biggest lessons I learned today was don’t take F3 for granted.  As where we are in CLT we have 14 AO’s to choose from within a 5-10 mile radius throughout the week.  Guys up here were driving 30+ minutes to attend a workout and the next closest AO is 45 miles away.  The group is something special and the 1st F is only one component of it.  Make sure to continue to expand and find ways to incorporate the 2nd and 3rd F’s among the group.  My message to you guys is like it was said on one of the F3 podcast.  Go out there in the morning and have fun, act like a child and be an idiot.  Find ways to bust chops and banter with each other when you can.  This will continue to form bonds among the guys and make the shield lock that much stronger.

2019 EFFEE Award Recap

On 12/7/19 Briarcrest hosted the 3rd annual EFFEE Awards at their ConventionAssembly…Tiny Clubhouse Big Living Center. The night began with a little socializing among the 30+ pax who were in attendance around the hor d’oeuvres. This year Tupperware was kind enough to include a queso spread, but unfortunately we were unable to park the car inside of the hall shed, so pax had to bring their chips outside to enjoy the queso off the backseat of dad’s car. Similar to last year some of the pax wore their Sunday best for the event. Some of the highlights were:

  • Chicken Little trading in the feathers from last year for a festive holiday suit
  • Gerber with a candy cane jacket that made him look like an extra from Miami Vice
  • Zin ditched the tux from year ago and instead was ready to break bread with the family this year dressed as Cousin Eddie
  • Goodfella brought the crowd to a good cheer with his angry elf outfit, some fashion pax took notice though that the inseam was a little long and have offered to tailor it for next years event for proper fit

As we approached 8:30, Zin gave the announcment for all pax to find a seat as the show was about to begin. And once all pax were tucked (even more then Recalc’s t-shirt into his jeans) into their seats we kicked off the 3rd Annual EFFEEs. We covered a non-standard DCCS to again reiterate to all of the pax that tonight’s events were to be similar to the Dundie Awards from the Office and created in all fun. At no point should anyone get offended, and if any pax does to please see Smithers as he has the official “Butthurt Incident Report” that can be completed. With that Zin gave a brief opening and we went straight into recap of GroupMe stats.

GroupMe Stat Summary – started the year off strong with good YoY performance vs. last year, but when we came into August our typical peak season, our performance was down vs. year ago. Unfortuanately in 2019 from August – November we were unable to eclipse the 2500 post mark that was set in 2018. When checking with key analyst we believe this is attributed to a couple things:

  1. 2018 in September we had massive uptick due to “thong-gate”
  2. 2019 we had a loss of key contributor Moneyball
  3. Deadwood wrecking ball entrance in 2018 where a 600+ post per month average came in quickly declined as 2019 he exited the Playhouse
  4. Turnbuckle entrance though helped to increase frequency of posts was just a little late in year and unable to counteract the softening market

So overall we are looking to bring back Foley in 2020 to provide some additional motivational speeches and to increase the chatter for next year. So with the conclusion of our GroupMe performance we jumped right into the awards. Here is a quick recap of each:

  • The Soap Box Award presented by Briarcrest Beef Hotdogs, won by ZIN
    • Many thought would go to Dancing Bear, but was won by Zin for his ability to get on his soap box daily and provide a good rant. We provided him a free 5 min, but he quickly conceded after about 2 mins.
  • Top 10 Modifications brought to you by Chainsaw’s Soundproof Underwear, won by Deadwood
    • The list included Aussie Burpees, Deadwood’s weinke, Moneyball’s Memorial Day remembrance for all that served in ware and are still alive in his family, modification of GroupMe into Slack, modification of GroupMe into NextDoor app by TB, but there was no denying #1 modification of Waxhaw rezoning Briarcrest to include Deadwood’s property
  • Freedom Pax CD brought to you by Rudy’s Unplung’d App –
    • CD available that includes many top hits by our local pax including Summers of 49 by Recalc, Six is the loneliest number by Fuse, I will walk 500 miles by Dana, and I will run 500 miles by Rubbermaid. The song even included a bonus GroupMe song performed by Zin to the tune of Under the Bridge
  • Before Picture Award brought to you by Centerfold’s Extreme Couponing, won by Chastain
    • Highlighted by his ability to not even have tennis arms, but ping pong arms, and always being the pax others want to stand next to feel better about themselves. In the end we were able to provide Chastain with his 1st ever after picture
  • The New Sexicon brought to you by Cocainios
    • List of potential new entries into a very special Lexicon that was loosely based on pax’s names
  • The Cheerleader EFFEE brought to you by Goodfella’s Soy Sausage, won by Easy Button
    • Covered his ability to not only be a fully supporting Cheer Dad at home, but also able to inspire the pax to perform. Even included a special cheer made up just for the EFFEEs – My Name is Easy Button, I am not afraid of nothing, Except when I see Frack, or when Damascus puts his balls on my back. Go Mountaineers!
  • The Hall Monitor EFFEE brought to you by Deadwood’s Weinkee Inspections Services, won by Ackbar
    • Highlighted all of the great monitoring of Newschannel and Playhouse, but in the end went to only the deserving pax who was able to garner actual news coverage for his monitoring – Ackbar. In 2020 he will be employed to monitor the pax and any violators will be labeled with trademark phrase – It Just Sucks!
  • Gone But Not Forgotten EFFEE brought to you by F3 Aquatics Team, won by Banjo
    • As this appeared to be a runaway for Moneyball as he departed the region, the actual voting turned out that another pax won by a hair (or lack of) and was presented to Banjo for his ever increasing bald spot. This bald spot currently has ability to live in Lawson, but by end of 2020 will definitely adhere to BC standard lot size requirements.
  • Educator of the Year EFFEE brought to you by Shake’s Substitute Services, won by Posse
    • Highlighted all of his great work with Q School and Site Q School and even included some of his courses for next year on proper sign language and ability to sign “blessed” or that it is “ok” to use your butthole kaleidoscope at workouts. Award even included a skit performed by Foundation (Posse), Deflated (Fuse), Zin (Recalc).
  • Waxhaw Challenge Award EFFEE brought to you by GroupMe Police Relief Association, won by Kid Rock & Swimmers
    • Thanked both for their ability to push the pax and either participate in IPC challenge or share their Hope Story. During the event Deflated shared his Hope Story about IPC in that he hopes all of the complaining about how hard it was, form, other regions that cheated, etc. would stop in 2020
  • Most Improved EFFEE brought to you by Big 10’s Jeep Emporium, won by Hollywood
    • Given for his incredible improvement in GroupMe posts from 2019 vs. 2018 that was a +5000% jump which was determined to be caused by change to high fiber diet changes. Either way Hollywood made promise to further uptick in posts for 2020 to ensure we do not have another “soft” year per our analyst when reviewing our stats next year
  • 3rd Annual Cat Pee on Carpet EFFEE brought to you by Alltech Frankenstein Lab, won by Catfish
    • As Xerox’s company has grown he has had to fire past technicians Dancing Bear and Frack, but found a new tech in Catfish. Additionaly noted that he is no longer being docked pay for smoke breaks.
  • Q of the Year brought to you by Zin’s Costume Emporium, won by Goodfella (on behalf of all F3 Waxhaw)
    • Hands down easiest award to find a winner for based on the success of F3 Launchvergence. Well done boys!
  • Career Path EFFEE brought to you by Old Posse’s Farmers Almanac, won by Gerber
    • Applauded Gerbers ability to recover from double hip surgery and come back into group and be promoted to Site Q to Board Member. As part of presentation award covered some of his responses from his interviews which included when asked about being a Gazelle and how he rates his speed. Gerber noted to give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose …And a panther
  • Clutch Performance EFFEE brought to you by Banjo’s Male Clinic, won by Rudy
    • Award highlighted not 1, but the #2 reason that Rudy is known throughout F3 Waxhaw. We got to see his Kershawish performance at Floater where he was King of the Throne and then come late in season when at Commitment his double check clutching peformance that just ran a little foul. Award was present posthumously as Rudy had to make an Irish Exit as he replicated the Deadwood of 2018.
  • Proctor of the Year EFFEE brought to you by Blue Screen’s Morse Code Machines, won by Mad Dog
    • As we learned of Mad Dog’s fame during the IPC challenge this award not only honored him for that day, but provided Shake the opportunity to test some of Mad Dog’s new material for 2020. With many of the tag lines taken from Full Metal Jacket and customized to F3 this was fun to watch.

All in all it was a great night and lots of laughs to be had. We always enjoy the moments to relax and have a little fun even if it at the expense of each of us. But truly believe this is what makes this such a great group that we can push hard in the gloom and find a way to stay in contact and connect with others throughout the day. Until next time, remember always be on the look out for an EFFEE award nominee and be sure to submit to Deflated or YHC and look forward to next year’s awards.