Author Archive Foundation

Union County Boys Can’t Jump (Rope)

7 Pax from East & West Union County came together at Conviction for a little work around the campus.


  • Mosey to side parking lot of school
  • SSH
  • Imperial Walkers
  • Potato Pickers (with a clap)
  • Merkins


Begin with Merkin Suicides around parking lot using the light posts as markers.  As PAX goes to next light add 5 additional merkins and always perform 10 x LBC at start.

Next have all Pax grab rope with two handles on it and try to jump over the rope after it swings over your head.  Side Note: Learned that neither East nor Western Union County boys are coordinated enough to handle, so called audible after 3 rounds

Audible consisted of going to playground and using the swings.  Partner up with P1 running to school door in corridor while P2 does exercises on swing and then flapjack

  • Round 1 & 2: Supines
  • Round 3& 4: Derkins

After Pax completed all rounds had a quick 10 count and then moseyed over to side of school.

Using the wall Pax alternated Jack Webb style (4:1 ratio) between people chair/air presses  & Mike Tysons. Completed 8 rounds total

Mosey back to start and finish with Mary called out by the Pax


  • First have to thank Bullwinkle for leading Flash on Monday and given me opportunity to lead Conviction – We missed not having you there a key member of the wolf pack
  • Next thanks to Moneyball & Deflated for taking the ride with me to Conviction and leaving the 5 mile radius we tend to stay in for workouts in Western Union County and taking the ride
  • Great work today by Crypto – not going to say it gets easier, but if you stick with it you will continue to improve with the workouts and will undoubtedly form some great bonds with your fellow brothers.
  • Gypsy it was pleasure being out there with you and way to keep the site going and hope the Speed for Need training was success on 4/12
  • Hairband great seeing you again, and I am sure we will get together soon with our fellow Jersey friends, most likely at Bon Jovi concert
  • Horse Head was told you are nearly a founding member of F3 and your wit remained strong during the course of the workout.  Good being out in the gloom with you!


Speed for Need training was at 7pm 4/12, continue to look for other opportunities and be sure to participate in upcoming event as it is truly a great thing.

Will do my best to explain the Flash Q on Doc’s behalf


27 Pax  came out to Flash for a Ole McDonald Doc McStuffin’s lead Q.  With a little confusion on GroupMe in regards to who was going to be Q, we quickly moved forward and some how ended up filling out the Q schedule for all surrounding AO’s in matter of minutes and landed on Doc as our Q.  Below is my recollection of the book read by Doc including necessary explanations/defintions for each movement provided by Doc.


Introduction: Mosey and Shoulder Tap Merkins

  • Mosey is a method of terrestrial locomotion allowing humans and other animals to move rapidly on foot. Moseying is a type of gait characterized by an aerial phase in which all feet are above the ground (though there are exceptions[1]). This is in contrast to walking, where one foot is always in contact with the ground, the legs are kept mostly straight and the center of gravity vaults over the stance leg or legs in an inverted pendulum fashion.[2] A characteristic feature of a running body from the viewpoint of spring-mass mechanics is that changes in kinetic and potential energy within a stride occur simultaneously, with energy storage accomplished by springy tendons and passive muscle elasticity.[3] The term moseying can refer to any of a variety of speeds ranging from jogging to sprinting.
  • Merkin a common calisthenics exercise performed in a prone position by raising and lowering the body using the arms. Merkins exercise the pectoral muscles, triceps, and anterior deltoids, with ancillary benefits to the rest of the deltoids, serratus anteriorcoracobrachialis and the midsection as a whole. Merkins are a basic exercise used in civilian athletic training or physical education and commonly in military physical training. They are also a common form of punishment used in the military, school sport, or in some martial arts disciplines.
    • But too add a SOB twist on standard merkins we added in shoulder taps.  Cadence was 1 merkin x 4 shoulder taps, 2 merkins x 8 shoulder taps…..up to 10 merkins x 40 shoulder taps


Chapter 1: Mosey around front parking lot while performing 10 x hand release merkins each light

  • Mosey (see defintion above for explanation provided) to the front parking lot.
  • At each light complete 10 x hand release merkins (see definition above as well) but this time at bottom be sure to fully release hands from ground to ensure stomach is laying on ground before proceding raising body with arms.


Chapter 2: Venture to hill on side of school and perform zig zag run up down around trees with burpees at bottom

  • hill is a landform that extends above the surrounding terrain. It often has a distinct summit, although in areas with scarp/dip topography a hill may refer to a particular section of flat terrain without a massive summit .    See image below for zig zag pattern for full understanding:

Chapter 3: Mosey to Benches in front of school complete 6 count merkins while using hands to transition from ground to bench

  • Bench (furniture), a long seat
  • Counting is the action of finding the number of elements of a finite set of objects. The traditional way of counting consists of continually increasing

Chapter 4: Repeat 6 count exercise but perform with derkins and using feet to transition from ground to bench

  • Derkins: Lie on the floor face down and place your hands about 36 inches apart while holding your torso up at arms length. Move your feet up to a  bench. This will be your starting position. Next, lower yourself downward until your chest almost touches the floor as you inhale. Now breathe out and press your upper body back up to the starting position while squeezing your chest. After a brief pause at the top contracted position, you can begin to lower yourself downward again for as many repetitions as needed.

Chapter 5: Jack Webb or most outlandish welcome to Cuthberston Field Trip Circle

  • Meet at the center island as the cars begin to arrive for field trip and begin the ritual  of kissing ground and raising arms in triumph multiple times.  Complete in cadence of 1 merkin/4 arm raises up to 10 merkins/40 arm raises
  • See picture below captured from security camera and provided to school board for review


Related image


Post Script:

  • Great workout led by Doc – intense focus on ensuring proper explanation and technique as well as working shoulders/chest.  Manual stays strong!
  • As is norm in this parts lots of mumblechatter among group and great fellowship throughout
  • Great to see Loafer return after a hiatus, look forward to the rest of the Pax to return who have gone into hibernation due to cold (Yeast, Duckdad, Shop Dog, Brexit, and others)
  • Amazing to hear about the support and love shown for The Starnes Family on Saturday with the Pasta Dinner and all of the donations raised to help the family.  Continued prayers

Note:  If recently attended Q School, please disregard as this is not proper form for Backblast writing please refer to Manual for proper instructions.

Tiny, Heart Shaped Rock

12 men gathered this morning at Impromptu in balmy 66-degree heat!  After giving considerable thought (approximately 30 seconds) about what to title this workout I decided to name it “Tiny, Heart Shaped Rock”.  More on that later…

Here’s what went down:


  • Side Straddle Hop x 25
  • Potato Picker x 10
  • Plank Jack x 20
  • Hillbilly x 20
  • Mountain Climber x 20


  • Head down the path doing Burpees at each light pole. 1 Burpee at the first light pole, 2 Burpees at the second, 3 at the third, and so on…
  • Grab some wall – 40 Jabs in cadence
  • Off to the rock pile. Each man gets a LIFTING
    • Circle up with our LIFTING rocks
      • 20 Curls, 20 Tricep press, 20 Overhead Press
      • 15 Curls, 15 Tricep press, 15 Overhead Press
      • 10 Curls, 10 Tricep press, 10 Overhead Press
      • After each set we put the LIFTING rocks down and stepped one space to our right.
    • LIFTING rocks back to the pile and Mosey to the stairs
    • Partner up – Wheel Barrow up the stairs, 1 Burpee at the top, then back down and flap jack
    • Hand walk along the wall with feet up on the wall (What the heck is that called??)
    • Grab some wall – Shoulder Presses x 40
    • Donkey Kick x 20
    • Mosey to the front of the school
    • Partners again – Partner 1 Dips while partner 2 runs half lap. Flap jack.  100 total Dips
    • LBC x 20
    • American Hammer x 20 (led by Xerox)
    • Mosey back to the start
    • Partners again – Partner 1 Plank while partner 2 runs length of the parking lot and back. Flap jack.
    • 2 minutes of Mary at the end


I always enjoy working out with such a great group of guys.  And it seems every workout always ends up with some sort of humorous occurrence.  That leads me back to the LIFTING rocks…  Making the decision to rotate after each set with the rocks proved to expose some suspect LIFTING rock choices.  The rocks ranged in size from what felt like nearly 50 lbs. down to… well… we’ll just say light weight.  And one rock in question was literally shaped like a heart!  Not a big heart.  Not a heavy heart.  Just a tiny, light weight, heart shaped rock.  Is anyone going to claim responsibility for this??  I think Bottle Cap put it in his pocket and took it home after the workout!

In all seriousness, great job by the PAX.  Dasher continues to impress with his speed.  Dough Boy and I became even closer as Wheel Barrel partners.  Old MacDonald did us all a favor by suggesting we avoid his “cross-wind” during the rock curls.  Foundation doesn’t seem to miss too many workouts.  Xerox always brings good energy.  And, it was good to meet Rose… welcome to the group!

Lastly, a special welcome to our FNG Anthony who is now known as Spam!  He was a Civil Engineer in the Air Force which apparently can be referred to as “Prime Beef”.  Anthony was educating us on Air Force nicknames, and I think he was hoping he could name himself “Beef”.  He quickly learned it doesn’t work like that and is now known as Spam.  Welcome, Spam!

Thanks to Bottle Cap for taking us out with a prayer!



Brolympics 1 week from this Saturday.  6:00-9:00 am at Weddington.

Sunday morning men’s group led by Bottle Cap 7:00-7:45 am.  Lawson Mill House.

10 PAX For A Uphill Battle At The Floater Today

10 PAX met at the Waxhaw Watertower ready to conqueor the Floater.  Feel free to read below or watch video to see what transpired.

Preparing for battle:

  • Mosey to bottom of Keith Jong Hill
  • Setup Metronome for SSH in cadence
  • Frackless workout means permission to perform cherry pickers
  • Imperial Walkers – Metronome broken at this point, return to normal out of rhythm cadence
  • Merkins

First Push:

  • Partner up – P1 begins with exercise as P2 runs, up/down hill, once back at P1 switch and repeat
    • P1 side lunge jumps up hill, P2 runs to top and returns to P1, switch and repeat until both atop hill
    • P1 crawl bear down hill, P2 runs to bottom and returns to P1 and switch, repeat until all at bottom of hill

Intense Concentration:

  • OYO backwards run up hill and side shuffle down (facing construction)
  • Run Up hill and side shuffle down (facing street)
  • AYG run OYO to top of hill

Second Push:

  • Mosey to short wall and 30 dips OYO waiting on six
  • Mosey over to train bridge

Extreme Concentration:

  • With Partner goal is to perform – Timer is Partner running lap around on sidewalk:
    • 100 Derkins at 1st portico
    • 200 Squats on top bridge
    • 300 speed skaters at 2nd portico

Controlled Breathing:

  • Few Mary exercises while waiting on all to finish

Final Push:

  • P1 begins by doing 10 calf raises per step up bridge, each step change toes straight, in, outward then quick jumps across bridge, then same calf raises down steps, finish with mary
  • P2 begins by doing mary until all have completed first set of steps and then follow with calf exercises noted above
  • Final mosey back to launch

Emerge victorious 



  • Some good chatter by all this morning at YHC expense due to cadence.  Need to practice more with metronome
  • Quick moment of fear in eyes of many in PAX at thought of Train coming through and first opportunity for burpee tradition, feeling quickly subsided as no train approached
  • Good push and great to see Button continuing to make appearance and improving (still not sure what the prancing down sidewalk was, but good work)
  • Thanks Doughboy for trying to teach F3 Lexicon to new Pax
  • Not a robust backblast, but unable to have other 2 muskeeters over to help scribe
  • Little depressing to hear Recalc actually say 5-0 during COT, I miss the forever 49
  • Quite amused to hear Fuse Box ask size requested for Clydesdale shirt, I believe it would be foul to have anything less then XXL.



  • If interested in signing up for CPR class reach out to Madison who is organizing a class for Feb 17th
  • If interested in Father/Daughter Dance March 2nd at Ballentyne Hotel, talk with Gatorcub for more info
  • Brolympics are Feb 24th -Opportunity to compete or volunteer (spot Frack on benchpress)


24 PAX put in the work this morning at Flash

24 Pax came out to Flash this morning as we covered 3+ miles in a simple workout this morning.


  • Extended mosey over to side of football stadium.
  • SSH
  • Mt Climbers
  • Merkins


Using the hill between the 2 roundabouts start with:

  • 7 Burpees after running around the bottom roundabout
  • 7 Supines when you reach the gate
  • 7 Merkins after running around the top roundabout
  • Repeat with each round decreasing each exercise by 1 until you completed 7 rounds

Mary for the 6

Mosey to bleachers

Round 1:

  • Start wtih 10 merkins
  • Bear crawl up first ramp, Duck walk 2nd ramp
  • Single leg hop up bleachers/ run down
  • Single leg hop up other leg bleachers/ run down
  • Two legged hop up bleachers/ run down
  • Rotate through until end of bleachers
  • Bear crawl down first ramp, Duck walk 2nd ramp

Round 2:

  • Start wtih 10 merkins
  • Bear crawl up first ramp, Duck walk 2nd ramp
  • Run up bleachers  / run down
  • 10 dips at the bottom
  • Run up bleachers / run down
  • 10 derkins at the bottom
  • Rotate through until end of bleachers
  • Bear crawl down first ramp, Duck walk 2nd ramp

Round 3:

  • Start wtih 10 merkins
  • Bear crawl up first ramp, Duck walk 2nd ramp
  • Shuffle up bleachers  / run down (rotating left/right each set stairs)
  • 10 dips at the bottom
  • Bear crawl down first ramp, Duck walk 2nd ramp

Mary for the 6

Mosey back to start


  • Appreciate Posse taking the time to post with us this morning after being part of the record breaking Union County Marathon Squad this Saturday.  Also, enjoyed the backblast and cannot agree more about the message on taking the opportunity to clown car.
  • Little disappointed that we did not see a BC –  Patriot Flag drive by this morning, must have taken a page out of Belichick’s book and decided not to celebrate AFC Championships
  • Great to see Recalc sporting the F3 – 49’er jersey this morning
  • Heard some mumble chatter regarding the first part of workout that it was copied directly from the Friday AMRAP, but being that the course has changed felt it was ok to input into a workout
  • Glad to have Tom Tom post again with us and opportunity to learn a little more about what got you to CLT from Idaho and your upcoming mission


  • Fuse Box arranging combined order for Clydesdale shirts – reach out to him if you wish to order.  Deadline to submit order is today
  • Father/Daughter Date Night Event March 2nd –
  • 3rd F opportunity: Mondays 7:30 Brooklyn Pizza Wesley Chapel
  • Last Unofficial Floater workout this week before launch on Feb 1st
    • Special Guest Q and Celebration for long awaited Respect member this week
  • Q Signup available for Flash:!/showSignUp/30E0F49AAAF2BAAFA7-f3flash1
  • Watchtower tomorrow – Stubhub leading his VQ – tickets are in high demand for this event – Be there!

Welcome 2018 – 16 Pax started today at Flash

16 Pax ventured out in the gloom this morning, and all were quickly disappointed when Recalculating’s attire included long sleeves.  Either way it was 6:30 and time to get moving.


Mosey to front of Middle School and circle up:

  • SSH
  • Imperial Walkers
  • Cotton Pickers
  • Merkins
  • Mt Climbers

Q Note: Not sure if the lingering buzz from previous night festivities helped with cadence rhythm or not.  Either way we completed the standard warmup with minimal mumblechatter except from the lone Metro attendee (Ice 9) barking about no need for a proper warmup.


Begin by partnering up and P1 runs in one direction and P2 runs in opposite direction around loop in front of school.  Every time you meet complete set of exercises.  Progress from 5, 10, 15, 20.  When complete with 4 rounds meet in front of school for Mary.

  • First Set: Merkins
  • Second Set: Squats
  • Third Set: Crab Cakes

Q Note: Cannot remember if we did 4th set or finished at 3.  Either way you get the drift.

Once 6 is in. Mosey to hill by the buses.

Complete set of 7’s  on the hill with merkins and burpees.

When 6 complete with 7’s mosey over to walkway by softball fields.

Next was Bear, Crab, Duck back to parking lot

Bear Crawl to 1st light post on right, Crab walk to2nd light post, Duck walk to 3rd.  Once at the 3rd light post then begin with Crawl Bear (backwards bear crawl) to 4th light, Frontwards Crab walk to 5th light, and Backwards duck walk to entrance.

Complete lap around parking lot waiting for the 6.

Finish with final suicide for two lights.



  • Good to see 16 men out in the gloom.  Especially some that we have not seen out lately Kotters to: Legal Zoom, Stryker, Ackbar, Jingles
  • We have found Ice 9’s kryptonite – Counting.  Or is that just standard lawyer math to fluff up the billable hours.  Additionally – Bear Crawls make him somewhat human again
  •  Thankful that Frack timely came in post warmup.  Also happy to see that Anger Mgmt classes worked as he was calm during the post announcements.
  • YHC  – Looks forward to resuming normal schedule and ensuring that Meme, daily post count returns to normal levels next week.



  • Be sure to signup for Joe Davis Run 1/6/18
  • If interested check out the Merkin/Pull Up Challenge on Slack that begins today – 100 pushups/10 Pullups per day – Week 1
  • Sanctuary beginning next Monday Night- Professor on Q.  Sure to be a good one, worth joining the 3rd F opportunity @ Brooklyn Pizza 7:30



What We Have Is a Failure To Communicate

No Q. We had no Q for Dromedary. What’s worse? We had complete radio silence. Far be it from me to tolerate radio silence!
After looking through GroupMe for details on who was running Dromedary, I found nothing. Quickly, I flipped open the Comz app, #slack. I was sure I’d find the info there…I was wrong. Countless seconds went by as I scrolled through the 6 total posts on the #haw channel seeking answers.
Against my better judgment, I submitted my first post on Slack inquiring as to who on Q and volunteering my services should they be needed. It was a dirty feeling, one I hope not to experience again. To my chagrin, I didn’t even get a reply! So, I showed up today ready to lead with zero plan. Lots of paved surfaces, though!
The Warm up: 
We got off to a rough start as I failed to announce we were starting and instead just took off running.
One lap around the parking lot and we picked up two stragglers, Manuel (aka El Capitan dela Forma Policia) and this year’s EFFEE Humanitarian of the Year award winner, Transporter.
  • SSH: 30
  • Potato Pickers: 15
  • Imperial Walkers: 15-ish (I don’t have enough rhythm to count those things in cadence)
  • Merkins: 10
  • Mtn Climbers: 15
Line up at the bottom of the hill by the football field. Do an exercise, run to the top of the hill, repeat exercise, run to far end of parking lot, repeat exercise, back to top of hill, repeat, and back to the bottom, repeat exercises. (5 total stops)
Lap 1: 25 squats at each station
Lap 2: 20 Merkins at each station
Lap 3: 5 burpees at each station
Mosey to covered area and grab some bench.
  • 50 dips and run to end of side walk, rinse and repeat
  • 15 steps ups each leg, run to end of sidewalk, rinse and repeat
  • 25 LBCs
  • 20 American Hammers (give or take)
Mosey around far side of school. At this point, we actually ran across an unpaved surface. Luckily for me, it was packed down mulch so no risk of blowing a tire.
Mosey around the school to the globe area.
At each light pole, 3 burpees. 5 lights x 3 burpees = 15 burpees
Waited for pax to finish and then took the mosey back towards the starting point.
Went to far end of the parking lot and did a good, old-fashion suicide. 3 total light poles.
At the conclusion of the suicide, we had just enough time to squeeze in one more long down and back.
Circled up and that was that.
  • Dasher mentioned a family who’s college freshman son committed suicide yesterday. Di Allard (sic?) was the last name. Lift them up in prayer, particularly at this time of year.
  • Mad Dog’s neighbor passed away
  • Christmas Party- December 16. Transporter assures it won’t be a full-blown sausage fest. We shall see.
  • Keep Red Rider in your prayers as well. He mentioned a family matter on GroupMe and asked that we continue to lift them up.
  • Big Announcement- Tomorrow’s workout I’ve affectionately dubbed “The Floater” will be held at the Water Tower in Waxhaw at 5:30am. BC and Dasher are leading and exploring new places further south we can go.
  • It was an honor and a privilege to get to lead. Thank you, as always, for putting up with me and my shenanigans.



First Annual 3FFEE Awards Recap

20+ Pax made it out for a 2nd F Opportunity and the presentation of the First Annual 3FF33 Awards at Dreamchaser’s Brewery.  Here is a recap from the night including the award presentations:

The 3FF33’s included 16 categories on the big board as seen below:

After a little fraternizing we kicked off our awards  with the first 3FF33 for The Ultimate EH’er

The Ultimate EH’er – Frack

The mission of F3 is to plant, grow, and serve small workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership.  Furthermore EH is a term in the lexicon used to describe the method by which most FNG’s are recruited into F3. We have clearly seen the growth within our own small niche here as we have multiple sites that are now averaging 20+ in attendance.  This is due to the great EH effort of each who have spread the word and brought out other men in the gloom to work out with us.   This reward is to honor someone who has clearly defied the odds and has gone against the grain and in the 2+ years of being part of the PAX has done none of that.  He has accumulated a total of 0 FNGs.  So without further ado, we present this award to  – Frack

Soon after our first award was presented Deflated was determined to get the 3FF33’s onto the main stage along side of David Crosby.  But first he took up a collection of from the PAX – to either pay the band or to lay a bet with Great Pumpkin for the remaining awards to be presented.  Word was that the early line was at 12.5 on participation.  So for our next award Deflated took to the stage and did his best Peanut’s teach impersonation….Wah…Wah…Wah. as the remaining PAX looked on. Not to be out done later in night by YHC took his shot at the Mic and had same level of success.  So with the mainstage no longer a viable solution we pivoted to shouting over the band to present the remaining awards.

Image result for peanuts teacher


The next 3FF33 was

Frequent Flyer Award – Dirtybird

This award is presented to someone that 3 of the 4 days a week travels 28.3 miles to workout  with us sad clowns. He usually arrives with about 2:12 seconds left before the start of the workout.  For the ¾ of the football season he is willing to dish out some sharp words about the past weekend games (ie See Moneyball’s Vols).  In the final ¼ of the football season he endures the jabs for 28.3 minutes of the workout from the likes of BC or other that jump on Pats bandwagon (cough) (cough) Damascus.  Either way it is great to have him join us and we appreciate the effort he makes each morning to be with us.  So for the Frequent Flyer Award presented to the a person that can claim – I don’t live in Lawson and still make it more then Yeast.  Congrats Dirty Bird.  Now we only have another 17:12 seconds until we finish this so please don’t choke…err get all choked up.

Image result for 28-3

GroupMe Marketplace Vendors of the Year – Yeast, Ole McDonald (on behalf of Landshark/Flipper)

GroupMe has become a place for sharing GIFS, memes, and Serious Post (only when properly prefixed) but there are a few who have found a different way to utilize GroupMe.  Without these individuals we would never have been privy to Prime Day specials of Centrifugal Masticating Juice Extractors or farm fresh, organic, non-gmo, hormone free, cageless eggs. Unlike the others who sold kids power wheels cars that require dental insurance, these individuals sold grade A quality goods.  T-Claps for these  individuals for discovering a new e-commerce community and for using their entrepreneurial spirit to profit off the Pax.  Without further ado we present the GroupMe Marketplace Co-Vendor of the Year award to – Yeast & Ole McDonald (on behalf of Landshark/Flipper)

Image result for online marketplace

Best Form -Xerox

This was a close one with as all three finalists being invited to the ceremony to battle out for the title.  But in a shocking turn of events – Xerox pulled off the upset and took home the 3FF33 for his rendition of did the cat pee on the carpet form?

  • Frack – Boasts the “largest chest” of the Group and currently the largest stomach.  He has been rumored to bench press a volkswagen bus, and the entire left side of the menu at McDonalds.  In his private 5,000 sq ft gym, Frack has mastered the 2 inch Merkin with specific and targeted pectoral conditioning.
  • Goodfella – unlike Frack, Goodfella relies on his natural, God-given, vertically challenged physique to master the 2 inch Merkin extension.  Goodfella hones his “crocodile” like Merkin style while reading “Unoffendable” in the plank position to his youth football team.   The fear here is that he is grooming an entire younger generation to carry on his legacy of the 2 inch Merkin.  
  • Doc – After graduating from UCS – University of Chile at Santiago with a degree in Animal Sciences Doc was provided a grant for experimental purposes.  The grant was intended to solve the 1,000 year old mystery of the Basiliscus   “Jesus Lizard”  – how does this lizard run on water?  After many years of researching Doc gave up.  He then headed to the US and joined F3. Because of his medical training Doc is considered an expert on form.

Outdoorsmen of the Year – Moneyball

As part of F3 one of the core principles is that rain or shine the workout is outdoors.  Often times the group is led by a Q that decides to venture off the paved road and onto some rocky terrain or workout in less than pristine conditions.  Unfortunately that is not this person.  Should there even be a morning dew on the grass, he will be sure to avoid it as if it were the plague. Anytime that he has had to move on non-concrete ground he has scream/cried about his ankles being less stable than Gary Busey.  He has been known to soil himself and  hightail out of a workout at the sight of lightning. So here is to you Moneyball

AMRAP Champ – Goodfella

Wake, wake up it’s the last Friday of the month. To get up, get up so you can complete the Impromptu AMRAP course.  This year Impromptu brought us a new AMRAP challenge once a month that allowed all PAX to measure themselves vs. their previous records on this course.  This person however ruled supreme on the initial course and outperformed all other PAX by being able to completing  over 5 laps in 4 of the 5 attempts and posting a record 5.4 laps – Goodfella.  

Frigophobia Award – Deflated

Seasons come and seasons go. Winter gives way to spring. Spring yields to the oppressive heat of our North Carolina summers. Fall gets but a fleeting moment of our time before winter is upon us again. Most of the PAX take the seasonality in stride. However, a select few individuals suffer from a rare disorder called Frigophobia, the fear of becoming too cold. No where on earth do such violent late fall and early winter seasons than between the ears of this individual. Most believe he suffers from Frigophobia, the irrational fear of being too cold.  It is safe to say that in all of F3’dom, no single individual generates more out of season laundry than this one man. Come rain or shine, hot or cold, you can count on him to be so ridiculously overdressed you get hot just looking at him. Make no mistake, this phobia lends itself to classic references, such as Randy from The Christmas Story (I can’t put my arms down), or George Costanza’s puffy coat on Seinfeld to name but a few. But the one we all believe makes the most sense is the striking resemblance to Kenny from South Park.  To the man who hides his face like a Taliban bride, we salute you. The award for Frigophobia goes to Deflated.


F3 Telenovela Star of the Year – Doc “El Capitan De Forma Policia” McStuffins in his leading role “The Search for El Manual”

In 2017 F3’s Telenovela hit show staring El Capitan De Forma Polica we had many plot twists.  Initially El Capitan found himself to be a regular in Union County but at the end of the series El Capitan had be excommunicated to the land of Mecklenburg County. Throughout the course of the series we witnessed the normal highs/lows within the relationship with El Capitan and Frack.  We saw his character grow and shrink during the weight loss competition.  We even bore witness to the el gato that grew upon his face for a while.  The apex of the season was when the El Capitan found the holy grail – El Manual.  With the uncovering of El Manual, when any member stepped out of line El Capitan was sure to recite the appropriate rule violation from Manual.  We look forward to next season’s premiere and the new adventures that will be had by our beloved El Capitan De Forma Policia – Doc McStuffins

Now with the awards heating up and suspense growing on GroupMe we begun to have additional members coming out to join the awards.  Either that or they were coming to see El Capitan De Forma Policia for an autograph.

Unsung Hero Award – Fuse Box’s Towel

This award is given to the one that has been on the losing end more times then not, but continues to come back each and everyday. For him every day is man touch monday that he posts at an F3 workout.  He is constantly tossed around throughout the workout, and inevitably is covered in perspiration and even tears on some days when Frack attacks on GroupMe. He is always stuck with same partner and would never be chosen by any others in the group to work  with.  For this we present the unsung hero award to Fuse Box’s towel.   

GroupMe Lurker of the Year Award – Jingles (Note: Believed to have been a Jingles spotting in back of the room, but not confirmed.  But with perfect timing he gracioulsy accepted his award via GroupMe and returned to the forest)

Let me commence by saying that the dictionary defines a “lurker” as person who lurks, in particular a user of an Internet message board or chat room who does not participate.  We have many that would qualify for this award as they browse the jokes, GIFS, and other tomfoolery that occurs within the group.  Often times we will hear from these lurkers  the following morning as to how funny a GIF or meme was.  Or we will get, the I need to not check GroupMe during work meetings or do you guys ever work?  It is often the goal of the few participants of the group to lure a lurker out of the darkness and bait them into participating on a particular subject.  This year lurker of the year award goes to someone who has the uncanny ability to reply in real time when directly called out by the regular posters, but otherwise sits in the woods peering through binoculars monitoring the group  like Hooch at a FIA workout.  Here is to you – Jingles for Lurker of the year and may you commence with a quick acceptance speech and quickly return to your post of lurking.

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F3 Fake ID award – Recalculating

This award was a tossup, but now that we checked and confirmed that StubHub is actually 21 the next nominee is Recalculating.  Sir, remember always respect your elders. Respect in F3 is bestowed onto those who have crossed the line and are now 50.  Most that receive this honor accept it and wear it as a badge of honor.  But you are one of the few that has completely ran from the designation.  The blatant lies in COT when he says 49 are reminiscent of when Half Back or StubHub were trying to buy beer last year with a fake id.  You want us to believe that you are the mythical Benjamin Button and only getting younger each year, but as we see the increase in grey and inevitable eye squinting we all are not fooled.  So the next time, please do yourself and all of us a favor and embrace the respect.  So here is to Keith Balaniz, 50, Recalculating…….Respect

Community/Humanitarian of the Year – Transporter

This individual was the one that spearheaded the most challenging/rewarding service project that our group has ever seen.  He had a calling on his heart to help a family that needed some house repairs and spearheaded bringing the Debbie Project to the group. As the project grew to include a total house renovation he was there every step of the way and go beyond the call.  He continues to be high impact man in the family’s life in many ways.

In follow up to Debbie’s house project this member sought to find another family in the local community that was in need.  His plan was to blaze a new trail and provide charity to a class of people that have been underserved for years.  We all know there are soup kitchens for the poor, clothing drives for homeless, even shelters for dogs/cats.  But when was the last time you found a charity or group that provides free moving services to not just the rich, but the truly wealthy.  He found a need and took the challenge to lead and serve.  Without his leadership wine cellars, personal gyms, and the 8+ bedrooms would have to be moved by hired help.  This is not right, so with a help of a few Pax he arranged to surprise a family and provide free moving services as they downsize from a 8,000+ sq ft home. For this we honor you as the Good Samaritan of the Year – Transporter  

F3 Exercise Name Change of Year  – BottleCap on behalf of Amy Grant

2017 was the year of change with many exercises receiving new or modified names.  Doc – We know this is violation of code #641 article 4 section 2 of EL Manual but at this point  embrace it.  We all know it would be much easier saying pushups instead of merkins, but we don’t its just part of being F3.  This year alone we have introduced the potato picker/cherry picker/touch hand 3 times on ground 3x in place of the cotton picker. We have introduced the American Hammer instead of Russian twist, but this award is to honor the greatest name change of all.  The famed Amy Grant.  The torch in Union County has been officially passed from J Lo to Amy Grant, and we could not think of any better person then Bottle Cap to receive the award on behalf of the Amy Grant.  Thank you BC.

Q of the Year – Popeye

The Q of the year belongs to Popeye for his Memorial Day beatdown.  This Q was planned with precision and provided each of us insight into great American heroes who lost their lives in battle.  With each stop along the path, Popeye provided a short synopsis of a hero who had lost their life in battle and all of the courageous acts they performed to help save countless others.  Then Popeye proceeded to have the workout themed to give us a taste of how  physically demanding it was that each war hero faced at that time.  

F3 Hype Man of the Year – Posse

This award is presented to the person that can easily be described as F3’s version of the Mouth of the South for his continuous hype and ability to promote others to either join F3 or take the next step and Q a workout.  He almost single handedly resurrected Watchtower from a dying AO to a now 10+ average AO.  Through his efforts Watchtower has easily become the most popular site for so many VQ’s.  We still are not sure if it is aromatic perfume often referred to as Aqua velva Posse or his ability to strike up conversation with recent FNG’s during a mosey when most are oxygen deprived and ask – So do you want to Q watchtower next week?  Either way, he has an uncanny ability to promote all around him or at least make them uncomfortable enough that they agree to take the next step and show up for a workout or lead a workout.  So without further ado, we present this award to Posse

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F3 Posthumous Workout Award or also known as “The Orville” – Turtle

The day was May 6th, 2017, the AO was Commitment and Transporter was on Q.  The PAX consisted of 18 including 1 FNG brought out by Doc.  The intensity was high as there were many coupons to choose from including – sleds, sandbags, kettlebells, etc.  But this also marks the day that we saw the first and last of our FNG – Orville.  He was laid to rest on the mats along the football field.  We dedicate this award to  you Orville and have now clearly labeled any who follow in your footsteps as only completing a single workout to have completed an Orville.  May you forever rest on the gym mats and paint some happy trees as the instructor in your next art class.   For 2017 we present this award to Turtle


It was a great night to enjoy some fellowship and have a few laughs and further the bond among the pax.  For those that could not attend we missed you, and hope to see everyone at the upcoming Christmas Party Dec 16th.  It is always a lot of fun and great opportunity to meet up with everyone outside of the workouts in the morning.  I believe Moneyball said it best with the below post:

Tonight was a blast and you guys are awesome. The #BallPit owes everything to guys like Transporter, Doc, and Dasher. They planted the seeds. They bled, sweat, and cried (Doc did most of the crying) over launching F3 in our backyard. We (the group of clowns who made tonight happen) are just the idiot farmers who have faithfully watered this soil and let Almighty God bless us with this tremendous harvest of new leaders of men. We have such a great group. So cool to see what we’ve become and where we are going.


SubstiQ at Impromptu

21 PAX made there way out to Impromptu for a late SubstiQ workout as Transporter was either:

a) Locked in outhouse by buses

b) Locked out of outhouse by buses and back home

c) Unavailable due to travel

Either way it was my turn to lead another round this week at Cuthberston.



Mosey down to outhouse by bus and circle up

  • SSH
  • Potato Pickers
  • Imperial Walkers
  • Merkins


First Triple Nickel over by Football Stadium. 

  • At bottom do 5 x merkins and at top do 5 x supines.  Complete 5 sets and then Mary waiting on the six
  • Mosey to gate to football field – found to be locked.  Made decision based on seeing Pax ability to jump 4 foot fence during Mad Dog VQ, that this would not be wise to do with a 8 ft fence.  Instead mosey back to top and perform 30 squats along fence while waiting on the six

2nd Triple Nickel (Is it still a nickle if we up reps to 20?) over by wood benches and entrance of school

  • At benches do 20 x  dips and entrance of school do 20 x step ups.  Complete 5 sets and then Mary waiting on the six

Animal Walks around the triangle

  • Break up into 3 groups each at one of the points of the triangle.  Begin with 5 merkins and then perform said animal walk/crawl to next point and do 5 merkins.  Continue until you have completed 3 rounds.  Animal walks consisted of – Bear Crawl, Duck Walk, and Crab Walk
  • In same 3 groups do 2 more rounds except do each animal walk backwards.

Mosey to other entrance way by steps.  Attempt to do 10 x Prisoner Get Ups (standup from laying flat on ground with no hands) then go to stairs and do merkins sideways down stairs flapjack once reaching middle landing pad.

Final mosey back to start and Fin.


  • Good to see Foley thawed out since his last venture out in the gloom and was ready to work
  • Deflated with the correction on backwards crab that is standard walk for them, so proceeded with person walk
  • Great message provided by Posse at COT – reminding PAX to lean on your brothers and open up with them.  Be willing to share both the good/bad.  You will be surprised by the support group you will find among these men


  • Happy Hour tonight 7:30 at Dreamchasers brewery in Downtown Waxhaw.  Be sure to come out and join in some 2nd F and who knows you may just receive a coveted 3FF33  award.
  • SOB Christmas Party 12/16 be sure to sign up – see pre blast on website for details
  • Ball Pit shirts order closing or already closed today (check with Moneyball for details)


Broken Ankles and Frozen Weinkes

14 Pax made the brave #insane decision to show up to Red Riders VQ in sub artic temperatures that featured frozen penguins along the running routes. According to the green Weinke strapped to Red Rider’s wrist, the first item was a quick lap around the parking lot to begin.




20 IW IC

10 MC

Long calf stretch (recover from the damage that Foundation’s death stairs did to us previous day)

10 Merkins


The Thang:

Mosey to benches. Pair up.

5 hand clap merkins with partner

1 PAX runs lap while other completes various exercise, then rotate after doing 5 hand clap pushups

Table step-ups

American hammers



Wall Sit Boxers – jabs and overhand

(This might not sound like a lot but pretty sure Stub Hub pooped himself)

Next we jogged to rock pile on other side of school, but stopped at each street light to do 10 jump squats. (Apparently there are PAX who considered the lights inside the school part of this exercise and started the trend that made this a classic crotch burner – thanks Bottlecap. #not) Red Rider provided angry music via Bluetooth speaker.


At Rockpile, same partner, same drill 1 runs length of parking lot while other completes boulder exercise (no hand clap pushups this time)

Round 1: Bicept curls with rock

Round 2: Squats with rock

Round 3: Chest press with rock

(Everyone watched Grey Goose with anticipation of his face being turned into Sloth from Goonies #RockyRoad) Fortunately it did not happen. #TruffleShufffle


Next Bataan Death March – Indian Run to Stadium

We quickly realized the 5 Burpees per tail end would result in people being lost and only found on milk jugs, so we reduced it to 2 Burpees and increase the tail to last two. Apparently Frack’s ankles are made of wheat and rolled over like Ohio State’s team in a championship game.


Stadium quick visit:

10 Burpees

10 Merkins

10 LBC


Run back to front of school – if you got passed by someone, you had to do an additional 5 Burpees (I think Mad Dog or Deflated tried to catch Red Rider early on, but he accelerated like a kid running from the cops – yes, I have experience) Eventually all PAX settled into a comatose state of noncompetitive running or “Fellowship”.


Back at front of school PAX recovered in Plank, where Bottlecap had some Kama Sutra poses for everyone to complete.


Right on time!

2.93 miles according to GPS



Honored to have led the group on my first Q. When Posse asked me last Tuesday to Q, it was all I thought about all week…not letting my fellow PAX down with an unorganized workout. Worked on time hacks and studied Google maps to put together workout that hopefully incorporated cardio and various parts of our gooey bods. Very impressed with all, especially RunFlat who is out there grinding with an injured calf. Appreciate seeing Gray Goose there to cheer me on and lap me like the gazelle he is. Saw one PAX do a pre-run, I was in my truck staying unfrozen so missed who it was, but they were badass for being there early and rocking it alone. Michael Jordan said, “Champions are made from being alone. There working out before and after everyone else, alone making yourself better.” Rock on Mystery Pax. Thanks to Frack for the kudos. I screenshot the feedback for the rainy day soon when you destroy me for picking a rock that could be mistaken for a marble. Make sure y’all ask Moneyball about the Sex Ferret, apparently, they were very popular when he played. Connected with Damascus on hunting and other types of animal slaughter. Look forward to helping him in his marksmanship, and going into the woods later this year! Special thanks to Posse for being a mentor and encouragement to step in the Q. Honestly gentlemen, 6 months ago I puked after my first 9-round workout, now I ran a 4-mile Turkey Trot, and wanted to sprint the last mile (but doing that when running with your wife is not a good idea). Today I led a workout and didn’t end up in a fetal position.  I have found myself stronger both physically and spiritually being around you. Thanks for helping me continue this amazing journey to being what God has called me to be. #IronSharpensIron



Shirts order is due Friday $22. All payments accepted including food stamps.

Friday night Dreamchasers 7:30, award ceremony, wear a green hat!

Prayer Request – Posse’s wife Jennifer will be having surgery today at 3pm. Please pray all goes well and as planned.