Author Archive Foundation

2nd Annual EFFEE Awards

Friday 12/7 was a night for the ages as 26 Pax from WUC had the opportunity to celebrate the 2nd Annual EFFEE Awards hosted by Briarcrest.

To kick off the night the red carpet (which Dancing Bear confirmed that the cat did not pee on) welcomed some of the pax finest outfits.

  •  Recalc was in his NJ finest attire reminiscent of when Bobby Hurley was still only playing AAU ball
  • Chicken Little plucked his best feathers from the closet
  • Our Master of Ceremony – Zinfandel was dressed for the occasion and ready to begin the show.

So as the cocktail hour concluded, and guest were told to please proceed to their tables the Lawson group was ready to be ushered into the main clubhouse for the featured event –  oh wait, this is it….Ok, everyone, please find a seat and let the show begin!

Unfortunately, Lt Rubbermaid was unable to attend this evenings event, but luckily, he sent General Pyrex to provide an opening address to the group and our first toast of the night!

At the conclusion of the opening remarks, the MC regained control of the microphone and proceeded with a pinning ceremony for all Participants from non Briarcrest with Participation Ribbons, and then presented all Briarcrest Residents with slightly larger, but most definitely over compensated ribbons to wear for the evening.

Next, we were able to check in with Recalc who was on special assignment as the Field Reporter for the night to get a sense of the crowd.  For his efforts he was awarded a special “49 and Bitchin’ sash.

The next measure of business was to complete a year in review of GroupMe by Bottlecap which included the announcement that in 2018 we have outperformed our forecast of 15,000 messages for the year and have already reached 17,500 YTD.  This was followed by a few charts that showed even with a slow Q2 (related to potential M&A discussions with Slack that GroupMe rebounded in Q3 to reach all new levels.

And after the completion of our trended reports it was now on to the awards.  Below is a list of the awards presented:

  • Triple Crown EFFEE brought to you by – Briarcrest Tractors: These big lots don’t mow themselves
    • Awarded to Moneyball
  • Bear Grylls Award brought to you by- Bonefrog
    • Awarded to Shake & Bake
  • Grumpy Old Men EFFEE brought to you by – Oops I Crapped my Pants: Sometimes Transporter’s Shed is not close enough
    • Awarded to Recalculating
  • Doppelganger EFFEE brought to you by – Frack’s Feeling Helpline
    • Awarded to Foundation
  • Injury Designation EFFEE brought to you by – Rubbermaid’s Anti Fog HG
    • Awarded to Beckham
  • Lurker of the Year EFFEE brought to you by – Scrawny Paper Towels: The crappy paper towels with a fake lumber jack on it
    • Awarded to Lazy Boy
  • Controversy of the Year EFFEE brought to you by – PSA regarding # of days Playhouse has gone without offending someone
    • Awarded to Big 10 on behalf of #thonggate
  • Cat Pee on the Carpet EFFEE brought to you by – Xerox Xtreme Steam
    • Awarded to Dancing Bear
  • Overcompensating EFFEE brought to you by – F3 Secrets: These whales tell tails
    • Awarded to Fuse Box
  • Q of the Year EFFEE brought to you by – Confused Alarm Clocks: Now you can feel free to show up late, leave early, or extend your workout
    • Awarded to Posse for his Bohemian Rhapsody Q
  • It’s a Beautiful Day in Neighborhood EFEE brought to you by – Rubbermaid +Fog: Make that 2 at 5:15, Look like a 10 at 6:15
    • Awarded to all Briarcrest
  • Wrecking Ball EFFEE brought to you by Bonefrog: What has 3 eyes? You and I when we do Bonefrog
    • Awarded to Deadwood
  • Jimmy Dugan EFFEE brought to you by Wildcat Sex Panther Gloves: 60% of the time they stink all of the time
    • Awarded to Mad Dog
  • Clarification EFFEE brought to you by Few’s Fonix: When all else fails, blame your keyboard
    • Awarded to Damascus
  • Humanitarian of the Year EFFEE brought to you by F3 Selfie Booth: We get it, no one else will take your picture
    • Awarded to Zinfandel
  • Bob Ross Pretty Meme Award brought to you by Big 10 Side Straddle Hop Repellent: Make your workout a SSH free zone
    • Awarded to Deflated

At the completion of the awards our MC provided closing remarks and that was a wrap.  Another year in the books and what a year it was.  Can only imagine what 2019 will bring.  Remember if it shows up in GroupMe it has a chance to make into an EFFEE.

In all seriousness it was a great 2nd F opportunity with plenty of laughs at each other’s expense along with true appreciation for how F3 has extended beyond just a workout in the morning with a handful of guys.  Want to especially thank all those that helped with putting on the production and participating amongst each of the EFFEE committees and sub committees.  Want to especially thank Zinfandel for hosting us in the grand  standard ballroom for tonight.  To Deflated for all of your artwork and effort, “we” did a great job on putting those slides together.  To all the pax that could be in attendance it was good fun and should anyone be offended by anything that was said throughout the night be sure to fill out the form on the backside of the program.


Running Places and Doing Things

So I waited over a year to do my first Q, but why not do another just two weeks later? With the weather getting colder I assumed the numbers would be down a bit. I guess the previous days and days of rain made gave some the “cabin fever” and we had 23 strong in attendance.


Mosey to the front of the school, Big 10’s (SSH), Jimmy Dugan’s (just some stretches while avoiding the clap), merkins, and Imperial Walkers

The Thang:

Partner up and head to the back of the school. One partner runs to Transporter’s shed while the other starts hitting lights with merkins and squats. Partner one return and swap until we reach the shed together. At the shed we did some donkey kicks and Mike Tysons. From there we headed over by the football stadium for more partner work. 100 supines (is that a word?), 200 jump squats, 300 200 merkins as a team split up by partners running to the cirlce. From there we ran some more, stopped for Speed Skaters, Sit-ups, Air presses, Jabs and then Step ups.


I’ll be honest with you, I’d like to believe that there should be some humor in these but I’m going on vacation and I wanted to make sure it got out. My first Q didn’t have much complaining, but we made up for it this time. I think I had a bit too lofty of expectations for the number of reps that were appropriate along the way. Might of been too much running too, as Deadwood said he like the amount of running we were doing. I appreciate the work these men put in and thank you all for the opportunity to lead the pack. Great to see Mad Dog back out there, thanks to him for taking us out



  1. No local AO’s on Thanksgiving but a couple of convergence opportunities
  2. Business attire drive – bring your clothes to Bottle cap (unless they fit Foundation)

Extra Ornery Workout Today

22 Pax came out for just another ornery workout this morning.  Could it have been the music, cold weather, or other reasons we do not know, but either way we all found way to get along and push through and break good sweat.


Mosey to rock pile and find a racing fit smedium sized rock and mosey back to flag.

Circle Up

  • SSH
  • Imperial Walkers
  • Jimmy Dugans
  • Merkins
  • Mt Climbers


Using timer 30 sec exercise 1 and 20 sec exercise 2.  Complete 3 rounds of each exercise and then mosey around parking lot = 1 Cycle


  1. Merkins on Rock / Mt Climbers
  2. Lat Raises / Tricep Exentions
  3. Bent Over Rows / Bobby Hurleys
  4. Curls /Chest Press
  5. Big Boy Situps / Halos
  6. Merkins / Smurf Jacks

and some others that YHC cannot recall

Mosey to return rock back to pile and return to start

Partner up.  P1 heads clockwise and P2 heads counterclock wise.  Once meet up complete 5 hand slap merkins and repeat 4x.

Meet back in circle

  • 25 Big Boy Situps / 20 Merkins
  • 20 Big Boy Situps / 15 Merkins
  • 15 Big Boy Situps / 10 Merkins

and that is a wrap.



  • Great having Draper out with us this morning.  Nice addition to our Respect crew.
  • Deadwood appears to have fully recovered from Bonefrog this weekend as he was out front most of day leading Pax
  • Zin finding his place in the front with the short sprints today.  Few in front taking notice
  • 2 flair ups today with Recalc upset with the heavy footing of Deflated on his running and Doc McForm police’s honorary captains Deadwood and Fuse ruffling each other’s feathers
  • We may need to check the facts, but maybe it was Tupperware who choked Hemmingway on his way out and caused the Lieutenant to miss today.


  • Continued Prayers for Mad Dog and wishing for speedy recovery and thank you again and all our veterans for your service!
  • Bottlecap collecting work clothes/winter clothing to be donated at Churh on the Street on 12/2.  He is in town all week so coordinate with him for bringing in any donations
  • SOB Christmas Party on 11/30 at Providence Down South Clubhouse – $25/person and spouse friendly.  Sign up at following link:
  • Clyent Dinner Thursday Night at Food Lion in Waxhaw 6:30 pm.  Come for 45 min workout and stay after for some 2nd F opportunity
  • Gatorcub has career opportunity available for any pax that may be interested.  Position related to mechanical repairs with car washes in Charlotte/Raleigh area.  Reach out if interested or know somebody who would be
  • EFFEE’s scheduled for Dec 7th in Briarwood’s clubhouse.  Time TBD


Let’s do a Burpee Indian Run

24 Pax came out for Impromptu this morning and successfully completed not one but 2 Indian Runs.


  • Mosey to Middle School Parking Lot
  • SSH x 20
  • Imperial Walkers x 15
  • Jimmy Dugan’s
  • Mt Climbers x 20
  • Merkins  x 10


  • Form 2 lines (little confusion as to how form lines, but worked through it)
  • Burpee Indian Run from Middle School Lot to High School Parking Lot.  Last guy in line drops does 1 x Burpee and runs to front.

Parking Lot 4 Corners

  • Run from one corner to next and do 5 x merkins.  Return to start and do 20 x supines.
  • Run 2nd corner and do 10 x merkins.  Return to start and do 20 x supines.
  • Repeat until all 4 corners completed.
  • Mary until 6 comes in.  Chainsaw provide a 10 count

Continue with Burpee Indian Run to Stairway

Calf Raises & Speed Skaters

  • Partner up
  • P1 does calf raises on stairs  (alternating toes straight, in, out)
  • P2 does 20 x speed skaters and runs around concrete walkway and trades spots with P1 at stairs.
  • Complete 3 rounds

Mosey to middle school parking lot

Hair Burners

  • Form 2 lines and complete hair burners with 45 lb plate back and forth.
  • While in line alternate between air press and squats
  • Put plates away in car and mosey back to start

Finish with Protractor



  • Typical lead pack out front with Dasher/Hollywood (who had some issues following directions with 4 corners) included in lead group Deadwood who has quickly reclaimed his speed.  Looking forward to a good finish at Bonefrog next week
  • Easy Button continues to push pace, and likes to rub elbows when cars come passing by.  Banjo was heard saying he seems to get faster up the hills
  • Rudy got called into office not once but twice – Hopefully enough paper available to complete his TPS reports
  • Chainsaw is sinking his teeth into these workout and putting it to us young whipper snappers
  • Found Hollywood’s kryptonite as he refused to do calf raises
  • Double Stuff and Jorts keeping pace up front and good additions
  • Great banter regarding supposed between Fuse/Deadwood regarding double secret probation at Commitment.  Will look to see how this plays out in coming weeks
  • Lt. Rubbermaid hath not join the cavalry this morning, but shall return to battle soon!



  • Chicken Little has VQ Monday at Flash – was out scouting site early this morning in prep
  • Bible Study Sunday morning at Five Stones all welcome to join
  • Dancing Bear continuing to collect soaps/shampoos
  • Big10 set to make appearance Commitment tomorrow


Winner Winner Not Quite Chicken Dinner – But enjoy a slim glass of Zin

21 Men participated in the 2018 Flash Weight Loss Competition and a combined 275 lbs were dropped equaling a 5.74% loss over the last 8 weeks.  Great Job all around but now it is time to announce our winners and podium finishers:

Top % Loss:

  1. Zinfandel (-12.6%)
  2. Chicken Little (-11.6%)
  3. Doughboy (-11.3%)

Top Total LBS Lost:

  1. Zinfandel (-31.8)
  2. Doughboy (-31.7)
  3. Fuse Box (-27.8)

Team Results:

  1. Briarcrest
  2. Others
  3. Lawson


Now let’s see review the recap of where each of the 21 participants finished and who will be required to complete the 200 burpee punishment:

  1. Zinfandel (-12.6%, 31.8 lbs)  – Was in the lead pack the whole way and is the overall champ in both total % loss and total lbs lost.  Was able to do all this despite a late push from others to derail the competition by sending him to Denver for 4 days and having his wife make lasagna the night prior to final weigh ins.  No matter the obstacle he prevailed.  Kudos and great job!
  2. Chicken Little (-11.6%, 26.6 lbs) – A late surge has earned him a silver medal.  Some speculate it could be due to the nerves with his VQ coming up on Monday at Flash, but either way this chicken truly molted and dropped some serious Lbs.
  3. Dough Boy (-11.3%, 31.7 lbs) – Lawson’s Top Finisher and was 1 article of clothing away from being the Overall LBS Lost Champ.  We all thank him for not removing said articles as Deadwood would  have better vision then those who were in attendance for weigh ins this morning.  Great Podium Finish
  4. Fuse Box (-10.9%, 27.8 lbs) –  The Captain of Briarcrest finished #3 in overall weight loss and within 1% of podium finish for top % loss.  He managed a clean game and was able to ensure victory for his squad.  Word is the next client dinner is going to be a douse and could cause trouble for him when he submits his next expense report.
  5. Dana (-9.9%, 25.4 lbs) – Hit record low weight in last 3 yrs, and also caught a case of the Fuse’s  when dreaming of his next meal of pizza tacos and burgers – “donifini” .  Not sure if that is all wrapped up in one burrito or if he is doing a dinner bang bang by going for pizza first and then going to mexican restaurant for burritos.  Either way well deserved cheat meal coming your way!
  6. Wedding Singer (-9.8%, 27.4 lbs) –  One of 6 to finish with a total loss of 20+ lbs.  He was putting in the work and racking up the miles and is determined to continue the push.  Looks like this is only the starting point and we are eager to see where it goes.  Until then as he says in the movie –  “Now let’s cut the stupid cake because I know the fat guy’s gonna have a heart attack if we don’t eat again soon [fat guy shrugs] And while we do that here’s a little mood music for you”
  7. Tupperware (-5.5%, 11.2 lbs) – *As this weight is only a guess, but we can clearly see the transformation.  Unlike most of the former Clydesdale in the group he found a way to stay away from the free queso and continue to see the weight come off.  Now if he could only find a way not to stay away from workouts in mornings we can applaud the effort.  Great job 2.0!
  8. Jingles (-4.6%, 11.6 lbs) – Jingles had his DRS (only F1 fans would know about this) button glowing and was able to pass his way into the 3’s this morning.  He moved up the ladder and secured a spot among the Top 11 who are not required to perform burpees.
  9. Damascus (-4.1%, 9.8 lbs)  – Hovering right at double digit loss, believe the 0.2 lbs could be attributed to sitting in tree stand waiting for deer and eating extra jerky.  Tip for next year competition, you are only able to eat what you hunt.  If that is case, we will be visiting Damascus in the anorexia ward
  10. Foundation (-3.9%, 8.8 lbs) – Couple bad beats with timing of brother bachelor party, wedding, and weekend getaway but was able to sneak in to Top 10 and avoid penalty.
  11. Run Flat (-3.8%, 9.2 lbs) – And our first participant who owes 200 burpees.  Tough beat when you are close to 10 lbs lost, and have to complete punishment.
  12. Dancing Bear (-3.5%, 8.2 lbs) – Tough to win a weight loss competition when enjoying the caviar, lobster, and other fine cuisines that come with rolling high class in limos.
  13. Southern Belle (-3.3%, 6.2 lbs) – Just like UGA this year appears to be outside of the Top Playoff spots
  14. Banjo (-3.2%, 7.8 lbs) – Found it harder to part with the extra weight then a WVU grad breaking off the wedding with his cousin
  15. Schneider (-3.1%, 7.2 lbs) – Rumored has it that all that participate drink for free at new watering hole opening up in Waxhaw.  Details to follow
  16. Shake & Bake (-2.6%, 6 lbs) – If you are not first you are last Ricky Bobby.
  17. Posse (-2.29%, 5.2 lbs) –
  18. Rubbermaid (-2.28%, 4 lbs) – After we get access to the family calendar, can you grant us access to your food journal? This way the Playhouse can assist with dietary choices.
  19. Breadbowl (-2.0%, 3 lbs) – We all need more Breadbowl in our workouts for comedic relief, will fun to see Zin counting off his 200 burpees while eating pizza and providing “encouragement”
  20. Eli (-1.6%, 3.3 lbs) – Supposedly was doing lines of Oreos after Golden Tate joined his squad yesterday
  21. Maple Syrup (-1.2%, 2.8 lbs) – IR put damper on ability to compete, looking forward to next year’s run



Do as I do, not as I say

It’s been over a year grinding at the sweat factory without every trying a go at being foreman.  Try as I might to continue this streak, my will was finally broken and I found myself leading a group of 20 (7 for 54 seconds, the other 13 for 45 minutes) around the Cuthbertson campus. By using the term “leading”, I mean I ran in front (for the most part) of them and mumbled incoherently my plans for the next exercise.  Much to my dismay, the only time anyone heard me was when I couldn’t count to three.


Pretty uneventful, just some Big 10’s (SSH) and seven random dudes crashing your party. One had a flag celebrating the World Series win of a certain professional sports team last night another with a toddler echo microphone to shove in my face in hopes to amplify my whispers. I considered doing the Fuse Box v. Exercise Dice, but thought of the small child who’s day I might ruin.

Cliff notes version:

25 SSH, 20 Imperial Walkers, Jimmy Dugan’s, Plank Stretch stuff, then Merkins

The Thang:

We started with some stuff and then did some more. Not enough? Ok:

Determined to make these guys run we went a full 50 feet to the first lamp on the back side of the middle school. We Paul Abdul’d it with Merkins and Burpees over to Transporter’s shed, followed by some Mary as the 6 filed in. Upon their arrival we moseyed on over to the cul-de-sac next to the football field. The (well spoken and clear) announcement was made that we’d be doing 3 sets of deep fence squats at the top and jump squats at the bottom. We began to run again and I heard many a “What did he say we’re doing?”, they must’ve been joking let’s just go. 2 sets in I decided to audible down to only 2 sets, then proceeded to head towards a third. Ha! Suckers, just proved that you guys only pretend not to hear me. Like that episode of the Brady bunch when that awful Mr. Duggan faked those injuries and damages when he had that small fender bender with Mrs. Brady. Thank goodness for Mr. Brady throwing his briefcase and foiling his plan.

Sorry, that’s something I do. Just randomly start talking about things and going on and on….and like REALLY loudly.

We moseyed some more over to the benches for a dip ladder where the counting problems spread to the PAX on this bus. We fuddled through and ran over for some step ups. Apparently Dana went to the Moneyball Q school because the old “For each leg?” question reared it’s ugly head.  We ran some more found a wall for some jabs and air presses. We ran some more and did light to light merkins. We ran some more and ran some more, rounding the first lot Indian Run style. Some tried to slow the bus down but we did two laps at a fast Clydesdale pace. From there we circled up to Mary until I could say that I was officially done with my VQ.


Is it inappropriate to use the term “butt holes” in a backblast? Asking for a friend. Anyhowser, a special thanks to that small group of dudes that I hold so near and dear to my heart for continuing to “encourage” me to step up and lead. It really wasn’t that terrible, at least for me, I can’t speak to the poor PAX who tried to figure out what I was suggesting. It was great to see Fuse Box nowhere near the 6 all day and everyone else push throughout the post. Foundation promised to keep his knee out my back and let me get some sleep now that I’ve Q’d Flash (I’ll believe it when I see it).  I only finally broke down because of how great you guys all are.


Let’s not hold our breath waiting for my next one though…..


  1. Joe Davis Run: early registration ends 10/31 sign up here
  2. Clyent Dinner: Thursday evening post. Launches at Food Lion ends with beers. Tell a friend…
  3. Five Stones Bible Study: Post Chiseled post, meets for an hour and includes breakfast

Ignition sharted with Recalc and ended without him

Now usually I don’t do this but uh, Go head on and break ‘em off wit a little preview of the remix we got 15 for ignition…

So Recalc give me a toot…toot…and now we got a little more than a fart in the shorts and time to break off and join Flash where the stench will fit in with Doughboys Gloves….And it’s the remix to ignition and we now got 14 pax left…


  • 2nd F pace jog from start to High School Parking and circle up
  • SSH
  • Imperial Walkers
  • Mt Climbers
  • Calf Stretch


Four Corners – Run to 1st corner and do 10 x exercise and return to start and do 10x exercise.  Run around to 2nd corner do 20x exercise and return to start and do 10x exercise.  Run around to 3rd corner and do 30x exercise and return to start for 10x exercise.  Run to 4th corner and 40x exercise and return to start and do 10x exercise.    Each round is approx. 1 mile.

Round 1: Merkins (corners) / Squats (start)

Round 2: Speed Skaters (corners) / Merkins (start)

Form 2 lines for Burpee Indian Run from parking lot to front of middle school.  Last guy in line drops and does 1 burpee and runs to front.  Once passes last guy he drops and does 1 burpee.  Half way through increase from 1x burpee to 2x burpees.

Front of middle school do a lap around parking island and once complete begin individual count of burpees until 6 is in.  Once 6 is in partner up and now complete a catch me if you can lap.  P1 head start is determined by subtracting difference in burpee count of 2 partners.  Q decided to bail on additional rounds due to pax inability to complete simple subtraction without taking off shoes and socks.

Finish with partner work of 200 squats/100 step ups/50 derkins combined while completing laps around the island.

As time winds down circle back for 6 and head to start.

Survey shows we reached right around 5 miles today – Good work men!


  • Ignition really seems to be taking off as 15 arrived early and were ready to get in the designated 4+ miles today
  • Gerber jumping right back in and pushing the pace and catching the lead pax
  • Only time Bottlecap can be referred to as the Hare as he continues to push the pace and pull others to front with him
  • Briarcrest contingent of runners growing and making presence known at Ignition
  • Dancing Bear/Banjo/Deadwood saw making push towards front – must be getting ready for something on Nov 10th
  • Rubbermaid fogometer showed we completed the designated distance so appreciate the assistance as YHC’s watch battery died ½ way through workout. (Nothing worse than not getting credit for mileage)
  • Recalc had a “shart” workout at ignition, but was able to finish at Flash so kudos

My mama says that stupid is as stupid does at Flash – #Respect to Tom Hanks and a Silver Alert

10 men enjoyed a full homage to perhaps Tom Hanks’ best work, Forrest Gump. The 11th wandered in the middle of the “Something Bit Me” scene. Here goes:


Short mosey to front of school. Disclaimer given

20 SSH

Jimmy Dugans Middle/Right/Left

10 Merkins

The Thang:

Scene 1: Magic Shoes- Moneyball says they’ll take me anywhere

In lieu of my lengthy absence, I needed to test out the ol’ calf. Pax had the privilege of joining me. Light Mosey up to entrance of Middle School and Back to Light posts along front drive (approximately .6 of a mile). At this point some of the Clydesdales began to balk at “all the running” and “thought the running group already left”. I paid it no mind as Zinfandel and Dough Boy were flanking me left and right. Dough Boy said, “If I’m up here, it ain’t too fast.” On we went to complete the scene.

Scene 2: Something Bit Me- Forrest Gump takes a bullet in the butt cheek

At each light pole do 10 Speed Skaters. Be sure to touch the ground so you get that real burning feeling like Forrest had when he took the bullet. Do these all the way to last pole just past Moneyball Hill (I like the name, don’t like the hill). It was at Pole 10 we picked up a pax. My Life Alert pager buzzed letting me know we had a Silver Alert. No sooner had it buzzed did Recalculating show up. Turns out the urge to talk to a man about a horse at Transporter’s office came up during Ignition’s opening mosey. Upon conclusion of said negotiations, he decided to join the Flash mob instead. From what I gather in what Foundation put them through, you made a wise choice.

Scene 3: Forrest and Bubba taking fire in the jungle – Deconstructed Burpees in the alcove

All together – 10 Squats, 10 In/Outs, 10 Merkins, 10 In/Outs, 10 Squats – do this progression until complete. Modified to only even numbers because I was gassed conversations were being affected.

10/8/6/4/2 Mosey to parking lot lines

Scene 4: The Jenny’s – Jenny’s life always seemed like 1 step forward and 2 steps back

Start at 2nd to last parking line. Shuffle up 1 line and back 2. Be sure to touch the lines. Turn and face the other way after each touch and go . Up 1 Back 2. I thought it pretty simple, but perhaps not.

Scene 5: “But you ain’t got no legs Lt. Dan…” – Lt. Dan Taylor Time

Think of it as a more sadistic Jack Webb. 1 Squat and 4 Walking Lunges. We made it to 7 before I audibled we ran out of real estate.

Scene 6: Waiting at the Bus Stop – People’s Chair with Jabs and Overhead Presses

Simple as it sounds, chair it up. First 30 seconds jabs, second 30 seconds air presses. 1 minute total sit. Funny thing was, an actual bus driver walked past us while we were doing it. I thought it was funny, anyway.

Scene 7: I Started Running (Admittedly this scene title is a stretch)

Starting at Transporter’s Office, alternate at each light pole, 10 Squats and 10 Merkins back to lot

Scene 8: Ping Pong (Q-Fail) – Squat-O-Rama

Tried to initiate what was in my mind to look like a ping pong match of dueling squats. It turned out to be a disaster. Pax opposite one another. Didn’t work. Worth a try. Audibled to 1 minute of continuous squats as Ignition boys pulled into the garage.



Great effort by the Flash Mob this morning. Minimal (but expected) complaining during some of it. Fuse Box beat me during Scene 2 and Zinfandel beat me during Scene 7. The Clydesdales’ weight loss efforts are having significant positive effects on pace and push. Keep up the great work, men.

Personally, it was great getting back out there with you guys. F3 is good for the soul…at least it is for mine. I hated not being in the mix (as evidenced by my blatant #NoPostNoPost GroupMe violations late last week). Keep showing up. Win that war between the ears today and every day. If you can force yourself to get up to work out at 5:30 in the morning, you can force yourself to accomplish just about anything!

Week 5 Flash Weight Loss News Brief

Week 5 is in the books and the Top 6 continue to push the pace and create separation with remainder.  This week saw some big losses from few, many with no change or afraid to record weight, and few that added some back on.  Either way all those that record a loss this week vs. last are safe from our weekly punishment.  Everyone else who failed to weigh in or added additional weight back in preparing for the fall weather are rewarded with 250 Bobby Hurleys.


Below is overall standings as of 10/8/18

Rank Name Team Total % Lost Lbs Lost Weekly % Lost Penalty (Y/N)
1 Zinfandel Briarcrest -8.95% -22.6 -1.27% No
2 Fuse Box Briarcrest -8.03% -20.4 -0.67% No
3 Chicken Little Briarcrest -7.50% -17.2 -1.11% No
4 Dana Quellin -6.80% -17.3 -1.57% No
5 Doughboy Lawson -6.69% -18.7 0.00% Yes
6 Wedding Singer Millbridge -5.91% -16.4 -0.74% No
7 Run Flat Chimneys -3.82% -9.2 0.00% Yes
8 Damascus Wesley Oaks -3.69% -8.8 -0.43% No
9 Dancing Bear Briarcrest -3.50% -8.2 -2.63% No
10 Southern Belle Briarcrest -3.31% -6.2 -1.36% No
11 Maple syrup Lawson -3.23% -7.2 -0.73% No
12 Tupperware Lawson -2.68% -5.4 0.00% Yes
13 Shake & Bake Millbridge -2.65% -6.0 0.00% Yes
14 Foundation Lawson -2.49% -5.6 0.78% Yes
15 Jingles Millbridge -2.39% -6.0 0.49% Yes
16 Schneider Briarcrest -2.38% -5.4 -0.98% No
17 Posse Lawson -2.38% -5.4 -0.97% No
18 Breadbowl Lawson -2.07% -3.0 0.00% Yes
19 Banjo Briarcrest -1.99% -4.8 0.84% Yes
20 Eli Briarcrest -1.63% -3.3 0.50% Yes
21 Rubbermaid Lawson -1.14% -2.0 0.00% Yes

Preliminary Notes:

  • Zin continues to breakaway from pack and is looking like Secretariat determined to win.  He gained further ground on his counterpart Fuse who joins Zin in the -20 lbs club.  Good job fellas.
  • Chicken Little is out of the coup and has been sneaking in some pre-running to hold onto 3rd position.  Rumor has it that he is planning on joining Ignition next Monday to chase around some of the gazelles with hopes of dropping few more LBs.  Stay tuned as we look to confirm with our own Bottlecap as to if these rumors are true
  • Dana who was on trade block and was previously shipped to Briarcrest,but failed to report and has returned to his former squad Quellin is in 4th and had impressive week with almost a 4lb reduction
  • Doughboy is away in Cali this week and failed to register a weight. But continues to hold firm in Top 5 and leader among Lawson contingent
  • Wedding Singer has let us know that we are not going to discuss this and it’s over.  And it is time for me to get his Van Halen t-shirt out before I jinx him and this whole competition
  • Run Flat – remained flat for week and earned some Bobby Hurley’s
  • Damascus – Looks like you need to cut your left pinky toe, but appears that Asylum kept you safe this week from further punishment
  • Dancing Bear – is our weekly winner with biggest drop of the week, must have something to do with Ravens being on bye week
  • Southern Belle – Steady progress and made big leap in standing this week from #17 last week to top 10.  Continues to be sleeper pick to be in Top 5 by end
  • Maple Syrup – without aide of active particiaptoin on weekly basis holding steady to diet and seeing progress week in/out.  Side bets on who will have better ranking Maple or  his UM end of season?
  • Tupperware – sorry no estimates taken.  Continue to serve the Queso and avoid the consumption and you should be in for quality finish
  • Shake & Bake – Mr pre-run has hard time reporting weights on time, but when he does usually includes a loss
  • Foundation – Charleston with wife for weekend…Enough said.  Now has entered zone of using slim fast diet to try and avoid end of comp burpee penalty
  • Jingles – giving back some this week but focused on commencing a big loss for next week
  • Schneider – avoids penalty, and believe may have caused YHC to get few strange looks in office as I had to pull up scale pic on desktop to record weekly # as people look at screen in my cube.  Carry on people, nothing to see here
  • Posse – Ragnar rehydration plan reduced loss some, but keeps away from weekly penalty.  Good work on both fronts
  • Breadbowl – calling on Breadbowl?  have we seen him lately?  We all know Zin is currently afraid of Breadbowl reappearing at his VQ this week.  Will it be enough to shake up competition, time will tell
  • Banjo – must of fell trap to the food porn being delivered on Clydesdale channel this week.
  • Eli – Fly Eagl…oh wait must of had to over eat to deal with Vikings win yesterday
  • Rubbermaid – Return from WC not beneficial to individual results.  Good thing this was only a weight check this week and we are not using the USADA testing leading up to final weigh in


Team results

Community Total Top 4
Briarcrest 15
Other 25
Lawson 42


No surprise as Briarcrest has Top 3.  Lawson may cause Union County to lose active community designation unless further losses are found in upcoming weeks.


Quite Riot and Katy Perry… Not!

As I type this I’m already over 24 hours late on getting this back blast out. (As I post this on behalf Rockwell we are now over 48 hrs late)  I’ll make it short and sweet.

Let’s jump right in.

Here’s what went down:


SSH x 20

Potato Picker x 10

Plank Jack x 20

Mountain Climber x 10


Run down to the end of sidewalk.  Stop at each light pole for 5 Merkins

Partner up and get a lifting rock (1 rock per group)

Curls – Partner 1 Curl / Partner 2 run to the crosswalk do 3 Burpees then flap jack – 15


Tricep Press – Partner 1 Tricep Press / Partner 2 run to the crosswalk do 3 Burpees the

flap jack – 100 combined

Shoulder Press – Partner 1 Shoulder Press / Partner 2 run to the crosswalk – 3 Burpees

then flap jack – 75 combined

Mosey to the benches – Dips then run on sidewalk to the tables for Step Ups — 20 of each, the

10 of each.

Mosey to the hill in front of the school – Clock Merkins – 12:00 / 3:00 / 6:00 / 9:00 / 12:00 – 5

Merkins in each position

Mosey to the front of the middle school for some Mary before heading back to start.


It was a great morning for a workout with perfect temperatures and a great group of guys working har

With Ignition starting 15 minutes before us and the start of Asylum I was impressed to still see some

good numbers.  I’m convinced it was the guarantee that we would be motivated by hair band music

throughout the morning!  Lots of hard work!

I always enjoy seeing guys push themselves and encouraging their brothers.  It was an awesome effort

by all and it’s an honor each time I get to lead this group of great men.


Thank you for the Shampoo Crew donations!  Keep them coming!

Opportunity to do Career Day at Cuthbertson Middle School.  October 19th.  8:30-12:00.  See

Bottle Cap if interested.