Author Archive Dollywood

Mother Day EMOMs

Yeah yeah – this workout happened three days ago, my bad.

Pretty simple format:

Knock some IWalkers and SSHops out of the way to loosen the legs… even threw a Hillbilly in for good measure.

The meat of the workout was, start the watch

200m at about 40 seconds.. then rest the remaining seconds in the minute. Repeat.

0-40 seconds running, 40-60 resting. Run again.

We did that 10 times.

Next, we went to Grandma Mountain and did the same thing:
Up the hill and back down (took about 25 seconds) but this time do 1 burpee before you plank to rest.
Each consecutive trip you add a burpee. 2nd trip 2 burpees then rest etc. We did 45 of those.

Last, we finished with some circuit work:
3 groups, dips pullups stair climbs, working 45 seconds/ 15 second transition.

And Time.


In general, I think Joust is pretty loaded with talent.

– Yeti is pretty much the king of Charlotte Christian. Don’t believe me? They had to take him off carpool line duty because of the mayhem his dashing good looks cause in the parking lot… 1 too many fender benders.

– Smokey just finished his Masters in Divinity and he did it taking night classes. For real like 3am-430am night classes. What have you done lately?

– Lightfoot is a Skywalker protege, with less talking and more action but 100% as lovable. (Love ya SW, that’s for skipping!)

– Chin Music is crushing a marathon training program and still managing to come out to Joust to see the PAX

– And Header is such an impressive delegator I haven’t seen him in weeks at Joust!

TBH, Header has created an amazing community at this site (which nobody is shocked by) and it really makes me never want to miss. The fellowship, the intentionality of older leaders pouring out and mentoring younger guys is worth the price of admission and then some. I hope Yeti doesn’t mess it up.


Hello glorious PAX of Area 51,

I am writing you today to inform you that there will be a Convergence on April 12th with Anvil @Calvary Church.

But wait, there is more!

Immediately following the workout we will be heading inside (or staying under the pavilion depending on weather) to fellowship, drink delicious coffee, and hear from an absolute legend: the Bill Grier aka JEDI.

This is the man that F3 Co-Founder DREDD considers his first Mentor and credits with bringing him to Jesus.

He will be sharing his testimony and highlighting the importance of male community in our lives.

We will start @630 sharp and be finished @650, but feel free to stick around for the fellowship!

Convergence @Anvil 4/12
Coffeevergence to follow 630-650

See you there,

Crossbar Challenge

Orange Whip was down in the back. Dollywood to the rescue. After a little text chatter and Dollywood reaching for his bag of tricks, a plan began to take shape for the gloom to follow.

16 PAX and 2 FNGs in tow.
After the anti-professional announcement,, the predictable happened:
20 x SSH
20 x EW
10 x Merks
Off to Davie park we went. Following some planking at the top of the park, DW’s bag of tricks materialized and up to the soccer field we went.

The thang:
Partner up, get a ball and stand behind the cones 20 yards away from the goal. THE GOAL – you get six shots to hit the crossbar: three kicking and three throwing. THE KICKER – partner two has to bear crawl to retrieving your sailing balls (and most did sail over the goal and down the hill – SUCK!).

Once the bar was hit or the number of attempts was tried, the pair had to sprint a
lap. Rinse and Repeat till each person had four cycles.
Mosey back to COP. PAX called Mary exercise: Spackler (big week for this guy – more later) called dollies, Jet Fuel called Freddy Mercuries, and Puddin Pop called Rosalitas in espanol.

Two FNGs were named: Kozar and Dunkin. Welcome. It seems that both were EHed by
Dollywood. Kozar played soccer at Messiah and is Dolly’s brother in law and Dunkin was a goalie at Wake.

This crossbar thing separated the men from the boys. Who knew… Spackler could kick a ball. OF all people!! I mean I knew he could hit a golf ball and I guess there are some similarities, but … I call it luck. It is a shame that luck did not transfer to the gamecocks. It is my understanding that Spackler was present in Arizona wearing loud gamecock pants documented by several media outlets! Anyway, Spack & JetFuel smoked the competition finishing above several collegiate athletes including a few accomplished ones and one former pro (shout-out Busch)

ChinMusic was a pro too – Heard he played with Chipper jones or something like that, pretty legit, but not the same skillset for this competition, I digress.

Header is still on that kick for the Half marathon – what a legend.

Other notable performances include:
– SweenyTodd officially registering 3 posts in a row @DeathValley, come on!
– Carlton knocking out his 2nd week in a row!!

Plyo Work

I was excited to lead today and get a little different workout than the usual.

Using the stairs we have at DV we set up a set of 3 lines each with 4 cones in front of it.

The workout consisted of:
– Jumping over the cone, down into a squat and then broad jumping over the next cone. Repeating over all 4 cones.
– After completing the 4 jumps, the runner sprints 20 yards straight ahead, hits the stairs, up the 3 flights and completes the loop jogging back. Total of about 50 yards.

We went in sets of 4.

Next, we jumped over the cone, landed and jumped to pull knees to chest. Repeat for 4 sets.

After that, jump, land, squat, then knees to chest X4

Set 4 consisted of spreading the cones out a bit and doing broad jumps. 2 jumps forward. backpedal back one cone. 2 jumps forward, back pedal. 1 last jump forward and sprint through X2

Last set, broad jump forward x2, knees to chest, back pedal one cone etc. x4 sets.

We finished up the workout with a few laps in the parking lot rounding out the mileage to 3miles on the dot. Overall, good balanced workout, probably a few sore legs out there.


Header and Chin Music are going for a mileage record in #Area51 I think… I think they are training for a half marathon or something. Who knew that was a thing.

I ran a half marathon once, not on purpose. Just got lost on a 6 mile run ended up finding my way home later that day, they didn’t give me a medal though. Suit yourself header but you’ve only got one achilles. Keep up the good work, just think about your competition every day all of your yoga pants wearing female competition… that’ll give you the motivation you need to keep training.

Good to see Wild Turkey out there… I had not met him formally before. Although if he is anything like his Kentucky cousin and namesake we shall get along quite well.

Sleeper pick of this week’s draft is Sheldon. That guy is grinding every time he posts… he is going to have smokey’s bod in a few years if he keeps this up.


Don’t forget about our convergence happening on the 12th. We will be meeting at Anvil and having a short time for Coffee and a testimony right after. Ending at 7. It’ll be a good time, the speaker will be announced next week!!

The American

Weather: Cold. Too cold for this many people to be out running in the wind. Somewhere in the 30s

The Thang:
Mosey around the parking lot, start with a warm up
20 Side-straddle hop IC
15 Imperial Walkers IC
10 Low slow Squats IC
10 Merkins IC (+2 more before I could get the breath to bring everyone to a halt)
5 burpees OYO

Run to Davie Park, with 6 jump squats at each light pole

Partner up, mosey to the bottom of the park entrance hill.

P1 runs to the top and completes 5 burpees, increasing the merkins at the bottom by 1 each rep (burpee count 1-5, total of 15 merkins). P2 is at the bottom of the hill in plank. Swap and repeat.

P1 runs to the top and completes 5 burpees, starting with 6 merkins at the bottom and increasing by 1 each rep (burpee count 6-10, total of 40 merkins). P2 is at the bottom of the hill with flutter kicks. Swap and repeat.

P1 runs to the top and completes 5 burpees, starting with 11 merkins at the bottom and increasing by 1 each rep (burpee count 11-15, total of 65 merkins). P2 is at the bottom of the hill with squats. Swap and repeat.

Stay in partners. Run to the parking lot and grab one rock per group.

P1 completes 20 presses with the rock while P2 does big boy sit-ups AMRAP. Switch and repeat, decreasing the presses by 1 down to 15.

P1 completes 20 curls with the rock while P2 does V-up sit-ups AMRAP. Switch and repeat, decreasing the curls by 1 down to 15.

Run back to SCMS, completing 6 jump squats at each light pole.
Circle up back in the parking lot.

Count-o-rama. Name-o-rama.

In total, a lot of merkins and a lot of jump squats.

Magnificent 7

I’ll be honest… measly showing this morning @DV.

I’m confident our dip in numbers is a direct result of Semi-gloss rolling off as Site-Q. We are pretty lost without him. #RIP

The Workout:

Customary mosey to gateway academy while we pause and wait for Floorslapper who is undoubtedly screeching in on 2 wheels @5:35

– SSH x25
10 Merkins OYO
– IW x25
10 Merkins OYO

Mosey on down to Davie
(Stop to do 10 dips and 10 derkins)

At the playground:
– 10 box jumps
– 10 Pull-ups
– 10 Merkins
– 1 short track lap

Repeato with 20’s

Short Track relay partner 1 runs the lap, partner 2 planks
3 laps each partner, 6 total

Mosey back home stopping for more Double D’s

Last but not least, a little rock-curling hopscotch:
– Grab a big rock do 5,10,15,20,25 curls
– between each one run a lap to the bottom of the stairs hopping back up them on one foot.


YHC had a good time catching up with Swiper this morning- he pushed me on the mosey back, great ISI action.

Good work from Huggie bear and Geraldo pushing themselves and keeping up with a 26 year old.

I always hate getting up in the gloom when my alarm goes off… but every time I get out there I am glad I did.

Privileged to lead.

Dear Diary

Let’s get this out of the way first:

800 yd loop

SSH & IW (Standard)

40/10 – 30/20 – 20/30 – 10/40 LBC’s and Swings

800 yd loop

Round 1:
21- Partner 1: Burpees Partner 2: Farmer carry around the P-lot
15- Partner 1: Burpees Partner 2: Farmer carry around the P-lot
9- Partner 1: Burpees Partner 2: Farmer carry around the P-lot

800 yd loop

Round 2:
21- Partner 1: Thrusters Partner 2: Merkins
15- Partner 1: Thrusters Partner 2: Merkins
9- Partner 1: Thrusters Partner 2: Merkins

800 yd loop

Round 3:
21- Partner 1: Monkey Humpers Partner 2: Farmer Carry
15- Partner 1: Monkey Humpers Partner 2: Farmer Carry
9- Partner 1: Monkey Humpers Partner 2: Farmer Carry

40/10 – 30/20 – 20/30 – 10/40 LBC’s and Swings

Dear Diary,

The guys worked really hard today. Arena looked like he was going to throw up or die more than once. I should pray for him. Louis and Tweetsie should stop riding together to all the workouts, it makes it too easy to mix them up *cough* yeti. Header was sporting a sexy beard today… I guess him and freedom are doing that to attract unbelievers to their church. I’d go.

I was going to run with fletch in the pre-run but he has gotten soft in 2017… then again, I sat in the car instead of running alone, but maybe that had something to do with getting completely freaking soaked by a passing car hitting a puddle last time I ran with Stone cold. FML that was awful.

Had fun seeing Crotch Rocket and Runstopper… they brought up some really great things to remember and chew on as we go through our week.. mainly, we should all take a second and reflect on f3 and the role it is playing in your life.

If you are just coming to F3 for the workouts- thats like buying a 747 for the free peanuts. There are too many quality mentors… leaders… and friends to not be taking advantage of that.

yours truly,

Feels like High school

Was honored to Q a good group at Joust today… Figured we would take it all the way back to running bleachers in High school.


Start with the essentials IW and SSH then some monkey humpers and back to IW and SSH.

(Needed to make sure we got the legs warm)

Round 1:
– Traditional Hairburners 10 yd distance with a 20 yd sprint after. 5X total.

– Next we went to the bleachers where we ran 8 total legs, varying our movements up: 1 foot each step, 2 feet each step, every other step, up 2 steps down 1 step.

– Back to Hairburners 20 yd distance this time with Burpees while you wait. 5x total

– Back to bleachers for a repeato

– Last round of Hairburners same as before 5x total

– carry plates up to concession stand for a little fireman pass with the plates. All plates are passed down the line then back.

– Bleacher repeato 8 total legs

– Fireman pass

– Bleachers 4 legs

– Jog it back


TBH I like to avoid long distance running because its boring. This was a great chance to switch it up and still get some good mileage.

W/O MVP: Sensei, he really does not let anything stop him.
W/O golden glove: Lobstah Roll, cause he’s awesome and I wanted to give him an award.
Least valuable Workouter: all the sad clowns who thought the fart sack was gonna bring them the joy they needed this Friday. Jokes on them, Yeti’s Gap model face is always worth the price of admission.

Ps: Yeti doesn’t have this form of twitter technology so no danger he reads this

Announcements: joe davis and toy drive (stone cold toy Q)

Mutiny aboard the SS Hairburner

YHC showed up today with the intention of knocking out a low mileage strength workout, geared toward the anti-runner type who throws up a little when they hear the call to run to Beatty park.

What I didn’t anticipate was a full scale revolt led by my compadres… with a noticeable lack of “having-blackness” being displayed by my CO-Q semi… who left me out in the cold like I caught the swine flu.

The Business:

4 station circuit with a running group timer.

– Plyometric boxes
– Slam ball workout
– Merkin station
– 10 yard out ‘n back hairburners

Everybody pair up find a station with on group serving as the runners.

Perform each exercise continuously until the running group completes 2 laps around the light poles. Once with plate of choice (15,25, or 35) and once with no plate.

We did this a total of 3 rounds.

Next, at approx. 6:08 we stopped to finish with a hairburner relay.

This consisted of groups of 4-5 people splitting themselves up evenly about 12 yards from each other. Each Pax then proceeded to push the weight across the 12 yd distance, stop, leave the plate for the partner and then jog an additional 15 yards before returning to line.

Back and forth we pushed the weight. Each pax pushed it over the 12 yd distance a total of 6-8 times before everyone just stopped.


I’m not saying hairburners are easy but I was shocked when at 6:12 we had a premature COT beginning to occur.

My rallying cry did work for a moment: “guys, what are we doing it’s 6:12?”

But at 6:14 there was no longer a critical mass left as I looked around and noticed header, Witch, and spack were about the only ones left pushing.

I wish I could say Semi-gloss backed me up, that he splashed merlot pushing himself to the brink in anticipation of the THXgiving feast that was coming… but no. SG’s sole defense was “dude, hairburners suck” …

Maybe I need to renegotiate my site-Q contract and see what Header is offering in the greener pastures of Joust, I hear they just made a big move this offseason for a first rounder outa Chicago.

Anyway, I’m sad to say we left a minute on the clock today… @1.77 miles.

Could we have gotten to the 2mi. Threshold I had hoped for? Would that have given Skywalker enough time to show up? Would Cole miners daughter have become coal miners son?

That’s not for us to know.


Save a horse, push a jeep

YHC likes to go out of the box…

With a little teamwork, we got header’s Jeep to Guinea Pig a workout and off we went!

– Standard SS HOP

– Standard Smokey being late

– Usual IMP.Walker

– Usual Sky-talker

Started off with:

Fartlek (its an actual thing) ((look it up)) run where PAX sprint one Light pole to LPole section and then jog for 2 Lpole sections

3 total laps

Legs warm, ready for the Meat!

Next: Break into 4 groups of 4-5 men.

Group 1: burpee broad jumps 25 yds hold plank
Group 2: Push the Jeep around Lpoles
Group 3: Run around Lpoles
Group 4: Catch the running group.

Once G4 caught G3, they would speed up and catch G2, G2 would then cycle off pushing the jeep and tag G1.

Everyone would rotate stations and do the work. I rate it a mild success.

Burpee Broad jump circuit:
BBJ to 1st Bball goal, sprint to 2nd bball goal.
BBJ to 1st Bball goal, sprint to 3rd bball goal.
BBJ to 1st Bball goal, sprint to 4th bball goal.

Groups of 3.

2 PAX at Bball goal 1 / 1 PAX at BBall goal 3

Pax runs from Bball goal 1 to Bball goal 3- does 5 slap hand merkins with Partner who then sprints from Bball goal 3 to Bball goal 1

All Pax run 4 times.


Repeat with 5 burpees.

End with Mary, call it a day.

We are happy to welcome OUZO FNG! Thanks Witch Doctor for bringing him out! Great work today, I promise we usually don’t push cars, but burpees are kind of a legacy item from Stage Coach.

Semi thanks for nothing on the car front. Proud of u.

POTHOLE, great work today man. Hope you keep coming to Area 51!