Author Archive Deflated

Move along, nothing to see here

I’m a bit delayed in publishing the results of Monday morning Flash Q. For that I apologize and promise to keep it brief.

23 men showed up to another early morning humid workout. A day that promised to bring temperatures in the 90’s for the like the 20th one of it’s kind in a row. The temperature was fine but the air was like how I like my women, THICC

Chicken Little offered to take part of the group if we got over 20, so we took a minute to divide the group proving once again that counting off by 3’s is impossible. I didn’t write a weinke so let’s just pretend both groups did the same thing.

The Thang:

  • Mosey down past Transporter’s Shed/Rudy’s Poop Palace/Dasher’s Dump Station the outhouse to the first wide opening. There we did some SSH’s, Imperial Walkers, and some stretches.
  • Mosey to the roundabout and set up for the first set of exercises (3 rounds)
    • Bottom of the hill 10 merkins
    • At the roundabout 10 prison squats
    • At the school 10 step ups
  • Mosey back towards the stadium, take a left to get to the side entrance of the High School.  Next set (3 rounds)
    • Against the wall, 15 Mike Tysons
    • Down the Hill, 5 SSH’s
    • On the steps, 50 Calf Raises
  • Mosey back to the back of the Middle School. 50 dips and a quarter mile lap.
  • Sprinkled in some Mary to allow others to catch up
  • Mosey to the front of the Middle School, more step ups
  • Return to COT for two rounds of sprints

And done. Thanks for letting me lead this great group of men. Look forward to the next time.

Announcements were Frackesque, there were none

Prayer was Deflatedesque, quick, low volume and probably incoherent

First July Floater – 2020

Woke up feeling good, actually had a plan today. But first a pre-run to make sure the map was right. Smithers and I ventured to a new section of downtown Waxhaw to explore what happens if you go right at the N. Providence/ Blythe Mill Rd intersection. Just about 2 miles later the path was confirmed and we were back with a couple of minutes to spare before go time. A lucky group of 13 set out for some running and other stuff.

Mosey from the church across Howie Mine, head over to Dream Chaser’s and smell the bacon circle up.

  • SSH’s
  • Imperial Walkers
  • Jimmy Dugan
  • Calf Stretch

Ok, mosey back to the 4 way and set up for a little MC Scat Kat Paula Abdul action. We used the light poles 2 up/ 1 back, using Dry Docks and Speed Skaters as our sets. Turns out, if you say 15 speed skaters and that 2 counts as 1 you’ll be there for a while. Whatever, your glutes will thank me (disregard I’d appreciate if I never have to talk to any of you all’s glutes). We all meet up at the end of N. Providence and head out as a group. We were about 2 miles into what hoped to be 4.

The remainder of the post was running with some pain stations sprinkled in (or as we like to call it in Lawson, the LRC). Tried to keep the Fuse Box Boot Camp rules of running no more than 1/4 mile at a time. We sprinkled in some:

  • Bobby Hurleys
  • Merkins
  • Jump Squats
  • Standing Freddy Mercury Imperial Walkers
  • LBCs
  • Dips
  • Step Ups
  • Probably some other stuff

Made it back just in time for 6:45, everyone went to their respective cars to freshen up (which was weird but I guess we want to look our best for the family photo), circled up, and cradle to graved it.


  • 100 PAX challenge still looking for more donations but now we have a $1500 luxury piece of furniture being raffled off. Talk to BC/Recalc/Centerfold for details
  • 1776 games this weekend


This was my first Floater Q, luckily the Site Q’s have finally changed and their standards have lowered I was invited to Q. I appreciate everyone who showed, downtown Waxhaw can be a dangerous place to work out. Luckily I wore my red light (even during the family photo). PAX did well to stay together and out of harms way. We’ve got a solid group of guys which makes it all the more enjoyable. Look forward to the next one, see you in the gloom.

Lost Ray Completely

Or at least I think that’s what LRC stands for now. Foundation is fast (but apparently only when running for long distances)  and smoked the rest of us. My hatred for Strava grows as my running results had me running straight triangles through houses at an incorrect pace. I also managed to lose a shoe which only confirms Zinfandel’s belief that just running is stupid.


Smithers was also there. That is all

Safe Distance Lawson Club

With the F3 sanctioned sites closed down a few brave souls decided to workout of in a reasonably safe proximity join together for a workout. The plan was simple, meet up at 6 AM noon at the Lawson Mill House. Everyone keep your distance, follow the SDLC as illustrated below:



Not a lot to tell beyond this, the ground was wet so Smithers begged to get on it so the running would be awkward  we did the following exercises in between precisely measured 1/4 mile sections so as to keep to boot camp workout rules   sections of running:

  • Lunge walks
  • Merkins
  • Dry Docks
  • Squats
  • Bobby Hurleys

How many you ask? Well this is unsanctioned territory so we don’t do DCCS and we don’t do COUNTIN’. It was do them until I ran away from the group.

During our last stretch, 3 of the 4 of us completely broke the rules. Went racing into an old man’s home to save his life  change his smoke detector battery because the lady next door was afraid he was a gonner getting annoyed by the sound. They probably subjected this poor shut in to community spread and  Then we were on our way.

Once again this is Marshall Law territory, no high fives, foot taps, prayers, or passing glances as we finished. Amazon yard sticks are on order for proper distance measurements next time

I guess I’m Pinky

Today’s workout was brought to you by the iconic video game Pac-Man developed in 1980  where an 8 bit pizza shaped character was to maneuver around a puzzle board eating up little dots without getting eaten by ghosts. I’m sure none of you have ever heard of it, but trust me it was a thing. Anyway, if you look overhead at the New Town parking lot you can almost make out a simplified version of the board which inspired me for this particular Q. Plus it was threatening to rain so I wasn’t trying to wonder off and find puddles and the like.

The Thang

We warmed up with a half lap, circled up for SSH’s, Jimmy Dugan’s, Imperial Walkers, Calf Stretches, and Dry Docks. From there the plan was simple, there were four entrance points to the main parking lot where we would do an exercise of some sort then snaking around to the next entrance point. Once complete, we’d do a full lap around the exterior and repeat.

  • Round 1 – alternate monkey humpers and dry docks
  • Round 2 – alternate speed skaters and merkins
  • Round 3 – alternate squats and lunges
  • Round 4 – alternate squatted air presses and jabs
  • Round 5 – alternate speed skaters and dry docks

Lastly, run around like dummies for a minute and half because we didn’t get to 45 yet.


I think it’s safe to say the Gerber was our Pac-Man with the rest of us trying to catch him and to figure out who was Inky, Blinky,Pinky and Clyde. I happened to be in a bright pink shirt so I guess I’m Pinky.

That was my first non-Cuthbertson Q, tried to come up with ideas to get us covered but a scan of the grounds proved otherwise. The rain held off so life was good. Thanks to Smithers for the invite to Q, take a note my friend: WE DID NOT LIE DOWN ON THE GROUND WHEN IT WAS SOAKING WET. 


  • Folding party at Christ Closet this Thursday


One is the loneliest number

Yeah I’m writing a backblast for multiple reasons:

  1. The LRC is a real thing, just check the tags sucka. So what if I’m the only one who showed
  2. I still ran 4.5 miles so I’d like to receive credit
  3. I felt like two reasons weren’t enough

I assume only Bottlecap and Zinfandel will read this so “Hey guys”

You run until you die, or an hour is up whichever comes first

Well that was my first Pursuit, not sure why I was surprised that we ran so much. There was a course and we ran until the time ran out. I hate Foundation and Smithers and their stupid quest to do marathons. No one lapped me so that was nice.

Could this be a thing?

In the spirit of keeping track of group workouts (in this case unofficial), I’ve put together a little app that pulls all the backblast data and let’s you see what you’ve done. It’s pulling all the F3 South Charlotte BB’s so if you attended you’re in the app. Feel free to check it out at


Oh and since I’m writing this backblast we’re also exploring the idea of making the LRC (picture pursuit but in Lawson) a thing. This past Wednesday Smithers, Foundation, and I ran it. We’ll probably do it again next week and maybe at some point it will be official.

Wacthaw Workout Monday

I’m going to start this backblast with an apology, typically I try to be amusing (at least to myself) in my backblasts but I believe today was pretty lame I exhausted my creativity in preparing for the effees. Speaking of which, we had a strong showing and it was a really fun night. I suggest any of you who didn’t make it, do so next year. I assumed the cold December morning and the rust associated with Saturday night would result in low attendance. Turns out between ignition and flash we had 37 men show up, pretty impressive. The PAX tagged are all 37, but I can only speak to what we did at flash. I’ll give you 4:1 odds that you don’t see a backblast If I were a betting man, I’d say you’re unlikely to see a backblast from ignition. If you’ve ever read one of my back blasts before it a whole bunch of stuff followed by ….then mosey. I’ll keep it short and I won’t tell you where we were, I’ll just stick to the facts this time.

The Thang

Opening mosey, stretch, merkins, imperial walkers…….then mosey

50 dips….20 Mike Tysons….20 Speed Skaters….Bear Crawl….20 Squats….20 LBCs….20 Big Boy Situps….25 Step ups…..

All of that done while running in an amrap like pattern behind the middle school, we then repeated it until the LBCs where we broke left towards the high school

20 LBC’s…..30 Calf Raises….RUN…..30 Calf Raises….25 Air Presses…..20 Air Jabs

From there we ran back towards the middle school to the portico closest to the buses

Bear Crawl the length of the portico…..10 Mike Tysons…..repeat

Run to the front of the middle school and grab some bench

10 Derkins…half lap….10 incline merkins (why aren’t these irkins?)….repeat

Back to the parking lot where we started for a couple of sprints and then back to COT


I made up something completely different on the fly We finished with a slightly different workout than I originally planned, you could say Deadwoods audibles were made. For those of you that know me, you know I prefer a stick man running type of workout with exercises sprinkled in along the way to keep us moving and the heart rate high. We still almost got to 3 miles while keeping everyone close. Thanks for letting me lead


  • Posse wasn’t here today so you’ll need to check slack/groupme/Asylum BB for the CSAUP or 5K that’s likely coming up in a place somewhere reasonably close to hear in a time frame also close by
  • Gladiator – a black diamond workout for those looking to workout on the weekend test themselves. This month’s Gladiator will be this Saturday 0630-0730 at Rea Farms (across from Waverly). 9855 Sandy Rock Place. Park near Improper Pig at large open grass field.
  • Downtown Waxhaw cleanup – this Saturday after the non-existent workouts. Waxhaw will provide bags but if you can bring Rakes, Shovels, Brooms, Blowers, Mulchers that would be appreciated

But we already did Mike Tyson’s

Picture this:

Three clowns driving away from Watchtower after a pretty solid beatdown.
Clown one: “Man, this knee injury isn’t all bad, I told Chicken Little I couldn’t commit to Q’ing because I’m not sure if it will hold up.”
Clown two: “Aren’t you Q’ing Impromptu on Friday?”
Clown one: “What are you talking about? Wouldn’t I know if I were Q’ing?”
Clown two: “That’s what I read.”
Yada yada yada……..clown one checks back through groupme and his text messages to find out he committed to Q’ing back in like June. And here we are. I am Clown One. From that moment on, I spent my time preparing a weinke like no one had ever seen. By that I mean I moved on with life and forgot about it again. Good news, crazy rain coming through I’m sure not many will show. Have some ideas on how to keep dry………No rain? Like a hundred PAX pulling up one by one….what could possibly go wrong? DiCCS given, we got what we need and I’m going to keep us out of where they’ll be traffic alive? moving.

The Thang

And they’re off, the three horse is in the lead with Gerber and Deadwood right beside him. Opening mosey at a 7 minute mile pace….oops….circle up at Rudy’s Rumble Room the bathroom house…..not enough room….do better

Circle at the circle, imperial walker, Jimmy Dugan, calf stretch, and dry docks…..mosey

Head to the stadium parking lot, LBC’s ……mosey

First alcove, grab some wall. Air presses in cadence and Mike Tyson’s on your own……mosey

Front of the high school, dips on the benches…..mosey

Now let’s run around the high school drop off with parents and their children walking up right to where there’s no path and it’s either wet grass (uh oh Moneyball) or jump in front of cars to the side gym entrance. We’ve got calf raises then more Mike Tysons……mosey

Heading back toward Rudy’s Poop Palace the bathroom we stop for LBC’s again and squats until the 6 and Zinfandel because he always circles for the 6, why can’t you all just get this part right? We’re here for ourselves and each other so circle back and be a better person catches up. We do the squats in cadence then….mosey

Head toward the middle school, grab some wall and do air jabs. Heading towards the front of the school we stop at the alcove and…..MORE MIKE TYSONS. Yes, Banjo I under stand we’ve done these already….thank you …..mosey

Step ups at the picnic table then LBC’s until we’re all done…..mosey

Out to the front of the building we find some bench for incline merkins, ok and more dips. Ugh forgot there were a thousand of us and there clearly isn’t enough benches. Channel your inner Deadwood, AUDIBLE …..mosey

Head towards COT, a sharp right into the alcove closest to it. Let’s do some air presses and you guessed it more Mike Tysons note to self, maybe come back to this because I’m not sure it’s true I may have blacked out by this point of the Q

Back to our original starting point for a variation of the Paula Abdul going three lights forward and one light back three steps forward because opposites attract on the way to Rudy’s Stool Saloon the bathroom we did speed skaters and on the way back LBCs is that right? are people still reading this?

This brought us back to COT with a minute or two to spare. And that was for all of us because here in Waxhaw we circle for the 6. Why do I have to keep telling you people this?

We did some Mary and called it a day.


Thanks for letting me lead. Strong push by all involved. Welcome to the FNG, Flip or Flop. And thank you to Dough Boy for taking us out.