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Paxhaw Ridge

9 Pax decided to brave the elements on a warm but wet morning to run suicides up and down Paxhaw ridge.  Given the Q was not announced and the forecast called for thunderstorms all morning, I was shocked to pull up at 5:13:30 to 8 PAX anxiously waiting for someone to claim the Q spot. This left 90 seconds for DiCCS, which was given and we were off:

Warm Up
– Quick lap around Hickory Tavern to circle up in the Target parking lot
– 25 SSH IC
– 10 Merkins IC
– Calf stretches (100% mandatory at all AOs – at least they should be)
– Quad stretch
– Mosey to the top of Paxhaw ridge (Blackwood & Springwood Dr in the Wesley Oaks neighborhood)

The Thang
– Run down Paxhaw Ridge to stop sign – 5 burpees at each intersection (20 total)
– Suicides back up Paxhaw Ridge
* 10 speed skaters (each leg) at each light
* Return to start / 10 jump squats
* Repeat = total of 10 lights
– Quick mosey back to start to end at exactly 45 min

– I’m always amazed at how long it takes to run up/down this hill, which is sneaky hard. I actually had another full segment of exercises to call, but the suicides took the full time – not due to lack of effort from the PAX (which was great this morning), but just the shear suckery of this hill…
– Great job by all, but especially Transporter, who despite a knee injury, lead the way the whole time and was the only 1 to get the full 10 lights in…
– It was great to see some new faces (Blades of Glory, Nails) as well as Asylum regulars (Shop Dawg, Posse, Transporter, Chastain, and Dana)
– Bottle Cap would be proud that there was no form policing this morning – just a lot of encouragement

– Document your goals on Posse’s spreadsheet to be held accountable – this is the year you could actually keep them and accomplish what you’re after!
– Gremlin coming up this Saturday (Zinfandel shared the link) – Let’s get a big Waxhaw showing
– Thank you to all who joined Saturday’s folding party – 250 (did not #fuse that number) bins were filled. Amazing turnout and accomplishment by all who participated!

Let’s Plank

Sitting around the house one night, a horrible thought occurred to me – how horrible would it be to do a workout almost solely in the plank position.  Not having the capacity to simply discard such an evil thought, I made the mistake of reaching out to Chastain, letting him know I had a horrible idea for a 0.0 workout.  Obviously lacking common sense as well, he immediately added me to today’s Q rotation at Diesel and today’s beatdown was born.  In order to make this truly disgusting, I asked my 15 year old daughter to build a playlist to coincide with this terrible idea.  She did not disappoint; creating a Spotify playlist consisting of amazing artists such as One Direction, Harry Styles, Melanie Martinez, and Billie Eilish.  Pain for both the body and soul….

DiCCS provided, even though we were not leaving our starting 2 foot circle.
No warmup – let’s jump straight into this bad idea.
The Thang
  • 5 rounds of 10 reps of each exercise, performed from the plank position performed as a group
    • Mike Tysons
    • Carolina Dry Docks
    • Mountain Climbers
    • Peter Parkers
    • Shoulder Taps
  • After round 2 – 100 squats in cadence
  • After round 4 – 50 Roman Deadlifts (each leg)
  • After round 5 – 50 Roman Deadlifts (each leg)
  • 5 rounds of 10 reps of each exercise, performed from the plank position performed as a group
    • Mike Tysons
    • Peter Parkers
    • In/Outs
    • Merkins
    • Mac Tar Jais
  • After round 1 – 50 jump squats
  • After round 2 – 50 reverse lunges (each leg)
  • After round 3 – 50 jump squats
  •  After round 4 – 50 reverse lunges (each leg)
  • 3 min left
    • Superman x 25
    • American Hammers x 25
  • I was not sure how today would play out, and began getting nervous that it would disappoint after nearly all PAX complained that there was no gear at a gear workout.  However, we hopefully learned that body weight exercises, even with 0.0 miles, can be enough.
  • I tried to call and audible and replace Mac Tar Jais with Shoulder Taps, but Chastain was having none of it.  In a crowd pleasing moment, he shamed YHC into sticking to the original plan.  I’m still angry…
  • Welcome to FNG O-69 (Bob Perkins) who joined us after some EH’ing by Chicken Little.  Named for being a Bingo caller during his slow period at work.  It was a close call between that and Big Papi (he’s a Yankee Fan), but with Bingo being so unique that name won out by a narrow margin.
  • Thank you as always for following my futile attempts to lead such an amazing group of men.  F3 is an amazing group and even though I love to bust chops, I don’t take it lightly.
  • Last day for this round of donations for Ray of Hope – Bring toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, shampoo ,etc to Bottlecap, Shop Dawg, or Dancing Bear.  Something we learned today is that while EBT can buy soda, chips, and other items to keep people unhealthy, it cannot be used for toiletries, making these items extremely important for donations. – Thank you Posse for that education.
  • Christ’s Closet folding party tomorrow morning immediately following coffeteria.
  • Uncle Si asked for PB&J donations for Food for Families, which is an organization that provides food to hungry kids.  They started with 13 kids and now server over 850, and are still not in all Union County schools!  The need is real and could be another 3rd F opportunity for F3Waxhaw.

Those Who Can’t

Being a site Q for Asylum means that my Monday options are typically limited to Asylum or Asylum.  However, with Banjo set on Q and co-site Q Swimmers an HC for posting, I accepted Gerber’s invite to Q Ignition on this extremely warm December morning.

I’m guessing Gerber wanted an easy way to start the week by asking a fat, non-runner who has had very limited posts in the past 2 months to Q a running AO.  Add to that the fact that my only other Ignition Q was met with mixed reviews (7 miles, but very few exercises…), and our new local crazy guy who apparently loves his sleep, and you had the makings of a potential disaster.  Even so, I decided to accept Gerber’s challenge and lead this awesome AO.

DiCCS provided


  • Mosey around Middle School, back to the parking lot to circle up
  • 20 Merkins (civilian count)
  • Calf stretches
  • Cherry pickers
  • Quad stretching

The Thang

  • Mosey to Lawson entrance
  • On Lightwood – 10 Speed Skaters (2 for 1) at each driveway on the left (approximately 14 of them)
  • Mosey to Bennington Dr
  • Triple Nickel on cul-de-sac
    • Mike Tysons
    • Reverse Lunges (2 for 1)
  • Mosey to new club house w/ 10 jump squats at every intersection
  • Mosey back to Lawson entrance – Gazelles circle back for 6 at the top and end of Five Forks
  • Cobbler-led mosey back to start


  • Thank you for leading us on the homeward mosey Cobbler
  • Great work by everyone – I got 4.86mi as a Clydesdale / Gazelles got over 5
  • Thank you Gerber for the invite
  • We almost had an FNG (Prime) – He and Shake and Bake joined us for the warmup, then mysteriously disappeared during our mosey to Lawson – Thankfully, they showed up at Flash
  • LORD I need the weight loss challenge!!!!

If You Cant Join Them

Doughboy must be given props for the most creative way to get someone to cotters – ask the to Q last minute because the scheduled Q is down with the flu… I have been absent from F3 lately due to a myriad of reasons / excuses and I have felt it – both physically and mentally. I miss the 05:30 banter, stupid jokes, awkward FOMO pics, and the men that make all of the above possible. So, when Doughboy asked me to substi-Q, I had to say yes to ensure I couldn’t fartsack another morning. Thank you DB!


  • DiCCS given
  • FNG identified and greeted (many already new him from Briarcrest)
  • Rain warning issued


  • Mosey around parking lot
  • 20 SSH IC
  • 10 merkins IC
  • calf stretching
  • 20 low slow squats IC

The Thang

  • Station 1 – 4 Corners x 5 rounds
    • C1 = 10 merkins
    • C2 = 10 squats
    • C3 = 10 Carolina Dry Docks
    • C4 = 10 lunges (1 for 1)
  • Station 2 – Lunge walks
    • Mosey to the front of the school
    • Lunge walk to 1st light
    • Jog to 2nd light
    • Repeat Lunge / jog alternating lights to the end
  • Station 3 – Partner work
    • P1 = Hot lap around buses
    • P2 = Team totals for the following
      • 100 step ups
      • 200 derkins
      • 300 dips
  • Mosey back to front of school – 2 burpees at every light (5 lights)


  • Pray for the wives of High Hat and Zinfandel – both having surgery today
  • Toy give-away was a huge success – More opportunities via Ray of Hope coming soon, including accepting donations of whole meals (non-perishable due to incapacitated refrigerators)
  • Welcome to our new FNG Bounce

Fellowship of the Hills

To celebrate my 99th Q (not a real number, but stating the number of times you Q seems to be the thing these days), I wanted to accomplish what I THINK was a Floater 1st and hit all 3 of our nastiest hills – Bad Idea, Bad Idea 2 (aka FU Hill), and the infamous original Keith Jong Hill. This was going to be a monumental task given the distance that needed to be covered while still allowing time for pain stations. However, after being challenged to have both mileage and hills, I finalized my weinke, assuming I would have to audible along the way.

DiCCS given, along with a warning that we were covering some miles and would need to work at a quick pace today.


  • Mosey across Main St. to the skate park parking lot
  • 10 SSH IC
  • 10 Merkins IC
  • Calf Stretching
  • 10 Low Slow Squats IC

The Thang

  • Mosey to Hill 1 – Bad Idea 2 (FU Hill) for a modified triple nickel
    • 10 squats at each end + 5 merkins at the 1/2 way point each direction
    • 5 rounds
    • Audible # 1 – Called recovery after the 1st batch of Gazelles completed 5 rounds. Not too sure calling this short upset too many guys
  • Mosey to Hill 2 – Bad Idea for another modified triple nickel
    • 10 jump squats at the top + 10 Romanian deadlifts (5 each leg) at the bottom + 5 Mike Tysons in the middle
    • 5 rounds – This immediately got the chatter flowing with complaints about time
    • Audible # 2 – Changed to 1.5 rounds – I immediately knew we did not have time for all 5 rounds, but I secretly wanted to hear the complaining and throw a mental jab to an already tired PAX
  • Mosey to Hill 3 – Keith Jong Hill for some quick suicides. This one seemed to confuse and concern the PAX – “Wait, we’re doing another hill?” – Answer = Heck Yes!!!
    • Start at the bottom of the hill / Sprint to the stop sign / Run Back to the Start / Sprint to the top (Laundry Mat)
    • Audible #3 – I originally called out for burpees at the bottom and merkins at the stop sign and top, but time was just not on our side – Why can’t Floater be an hour????
  • Jail break to Start for all 3 hills, just shy of 3.5 miles (my watch had 3.47), in exactly 45 min!


  • A few observations:
  • Brutus was flying today, leading the pack most of the way
  • Deflated, knee braces and all, was in the font all day as well
  • Carb Load continues to impress, passing me on the 1st hill which earned him some words of ‘encouragement and support’ from me…
  • Twinkle Toes was another flyer today. He’s pretty quiet, so you need to watch for him out there
  • Several others were not in the front, but were definitely giving it all they had – kudos to you (search your feelings and you’ll know who you are)


  • Diesel official kick off tomorrow – 0.0 miles
  • Let’s all take an example from Botham Jean’s brother who forgave and hugged former Dallas police officer Amber Guyger, who had been convicted of murder in Jean’s death. An amazing example we can all learn from ( ) – Thanks for sharing this Zin!
  • Good luck to everyone participating in various races this weekend. Make Waxhaw proud men!

Ab Work and Sex Robots

14 men braved the gloom this morning for a few laughs as we killed our abs and non-pushing muscles (aka backs and biceps). This was admittedly, not a typical Q for me as there were 0 burpees, 0 touching, and ended up being sub 2 miles. I hope it still translated into a hard workout, but that will be determined as everyone tries to get out of bed tomorrow morning.

The Warmup

  • DiCCS completed (with some reminders from Dancing Bear)
  • Quick lap around the parking lot using right turns – This threw the PAX for a loop right out of the gate, starting the mumblechatter around why people automatically turn left. The consensus seemed to be it’s Nascar’s fault…
  • Circle up for:
    • 20 SSH IC
    • Downward Dog
    • Calf Stretching
    • Arm Circles (20 forward / 5 reverse)

The Thing

  • Mosey to front of school for a little light pole suicides
    • Up 1 – 10 LBCs
    • Back to start – 10 Romanian Deadlifts (total)
    • Up 2 – 10 LBCs
    • Back to start – 10 Romanian Deadlifts (total)
    • Up 3 – 10 LBCs
    • Back to start – 10 Romanian Deadlifts (total)
    • Plank for 6
  • Mosey to bus parking lot
    • Ab Web – 1 Big Boi Sit Up / 4 Heels to Heaven (up to 10/40)
  • Mosey to playground & partner up w/ coupons
    • P1 = Pullups (AMRAP)
    • P2 = Run to lightpole / 10 rows w/ coupoun
    • 4 total rounds
    • Plank for 6
  • Mosey to Coupons for more partner work
    • P1 = Curls with coupon (AMRAP)
    • P2 = Run to school and back
    • 5 total rounds
    • Plank for 6
  • Quick 20 Supermans IC
  • Mosey with coupons to front of school for some American Hammers (20 IC)
  • Time!


  • The Ab Web was a crowd favorite for sure. TONS of mublechatter and jokes here, including comments about sex robots, dropping logs, and 24 being a great year. The Web was tough enough, but trying to do it while laughing was a new twist. Thanks for keeping it light guys!
  • This definitely was not my most difficult Q, but the goal was to do something different, with no pushing exercises as these muscles get worked in huge disproportion to our pulling muscles.
  • Great job by everyone today. Everyone pushed hard and I hope got both a good sweat and a better laugh out of this morning.

Prayer Requests / Announcements:

  • Catfish’s family friend who lost their 20 year old daughter to a tragic horse fall
  • General prayer for those struggling with cancer, including my father-in-law who got the word that his pancreatic cancer has spread
  • Susan G Komen Race for the Cure – October 5th (sign up under Heather’s Heroes (Ice 9 and Transport’s wives) or Speed for Need)
  • Thanks Mad Dog for taking us out.

Burpees For All My Friends

I love F3, and love to both push the PAX and be pushed. I sometimes have a tendency to call people out (if I do, it is because you’re cheating yourself). Sometimes I get called out (thanks Posse). Know it is always out of a desire to help you improve, which in turn helps everyone in F3 improve…

Anyway, back to the workout at hand. Given Chiseled is not your normal AO, and mileage is supposed to remain low, it’s always a challenge to develop a workout that makes the sweat pour down like rain. I teased 45 minutes of partner carries, thinking the turnout would be low, but to my surprise, the cars kept flowing in and we had a small mob on our hands. Already had to think if audibles and the DiCCS had not even been given yet…

DiCCS provided on time (thanks you Recalculating’s countdown)


  • Mosey around the parking lot
  • SSH x 15 IC
  • Merkins x 15 IC
  • Calf Stretching (Ahhhh)
  • Let’s GO!

The Thang

  • 30 burpess OYO, just to slow some of the gazelles down for what was to come
  • Divide into groups of 3
    • Round 1
      • P1 = AMRAP with sandbag
        • Bent Over Rows
        • Shoulder Presses
        • Curls
      • P2 = (Approx 50 yards away) AMRAP w/ bodyweight
        • Squats
        • Speed Skaters
        • Merkins
      • P3 = Sprint between partners and take up their exercise
      • Repeat 3 times each
    • Round 2
      • P1 = AMRAP Peter Parkers
      • P2 = (Approx 50 yards away) AMRAP Mountain Climbers
      • P3 = Sprint between partners and take up their exercise
      • Repeat 3 times each
  • Circle up for some burpee webs
    • 1 burpee / 4 jump squats
    • 2 burpees / 8 jump squats
    • ….
    • We only got to 8 x 32
  • 30 seconds left – 5 more burpees OYO


  • Everyone pushed hard today and did an awesome job!
  • The numbers must be a result of the excellent Launch party on Monday, which is driving people to post more…
  • It was great to see 3 2.0s + 4 Respects in the same workout!
  • Post workout – Catfish tells me how much he’s loving F3 (has only been posting about a month). After his 1st workout, he ditched his cigarettes forever!! That is something to celebrate and be proud of brother! Keep up the good work…
  • Thank you as always for the invitation to Q – I love leading you guys!


  • Pray for Dancing Bear’s friend who’s 1st child was born with a partial liver and is currently being treated.
  • Pray for Catfish’s friend who currently has no feeling on her left side due to a recent accident.
  • If you’re a leader in Waxhaw, step up and plug in somewhere. Leaders are needed in for 3 Fs. See a board member for details.
  • Speaking of leadership, Chastain and Brutus are staring a new AO. This will be a 0.0 gear workout on Friday mornings at Five Stones ( pending site approval). Templates will be provided, so Q’ing should be a breeze.

The Fat Man Runeth

It seemed a lot of guys figured they could ease into the week by attending a running workout led by a fat guy. But, if you know me, I like to ensure 2 things happen when I Q – 1) I do something that is unexpected, and 2) I do something that I hate. I theorized that everyone would expect me to play to my strength – shorter distance with more pain stations. Hence, I went the opposite direction and opting for high mileage with a few pain stations to keep us honest – giving us a record breaking 6 miles for Clydesdales like me, and a whopping 7 miles for some of the Gazelles!


  • Mosey around the Middle School and along the road to the Lawson entrance by Five Forks.
  • Some quick stretching
  • Active warmup down Five Forks
    • High knees to the 1st light
    • Jog to the 2nd light
    • Butt kicks to the 3rd light
    • Jog to the 4th light
    • B-skips to the stop sign

The Thang

  1. Run to the end of Great Rd
    • 5 burpees at Pawpaw Ln
    • 5 burpees at cul-de-sac
    • Gazelles circle back for the 6
  2. Run back down Pawpaw Ln / Right on Surveyor General / run to the end
    • 5 burpees at Pawpaw Ln
    • 5 burpees at Great Rd
    • 5 burpees at cul-de-sac
    • Gazelles circle back for the 6
  3. Run down Surveyor General to Trading Path Ln
    • 2 burpees at every light on the right
    • Gazelles circle back for the 6 at Pawpaw / Pool / End
  4. Recovery Mosey back down Five Forks / along frontage trail / down Brough Hall / Left on River Bank / End on Lawson Dr
  5. Paula Abdul to the end of Lawson
    • Run to 1st stop sign / run back to start
    • Run to 2nd stop sign / run back to 1st
    • Run to 3rd stop sign / run back to 2nd
    • …..
  6. Fast Mosey back to the start

Great push by everyone this morning! Thank you for allowing me to lead this morning. I love to joke and bust chops, but it is truly an honor to post along side you guys.


  • Pray for families impacted by this weekend’s shootings. Talk to your kids (age appropriate) as they have questions and concerns, even if they are not coming to you about them…
  • Damascus looking for a few REAL MEN who will run the Ragnar (10/5-10/6) – DM for details.
  • Boys and possible 2.0s can see Deadwood or Zin for the Atlanta Spartan.
  • Swimmers looking to finalize his team for the Prostate Awareness 5k – 9/14 and it’s a Speed for Need event.
  • Welcome to 4 FNGs (see the Flash BB for details as they all posted there).

For Moneyball

After a strange turn of events, I found myself on Q for the 3rd time this week. Unlike we normally see with Deadwood, this was purely coincidental, but I tried to bring something different to all 3. Asylum used some heavy gear, Watchtower was a burpee bonanza, so today’s focus was going to be on mileage – goal of at least 3…

As the PAX began filtering in, I kept waiting in anticipation for our 2 vest wearing site Qs. With 1 minute to spare, and neither of them in site, I was willing to settle for at least 1, but fartsacking took hold and we were all shocked that we were stood up by both on this fine morning… The dreams of the 10 faithful who did show crushed, we decided to sweat as a way to hide our tears.


  • DiCCS provided – emphasis on safety as we were crossing roads this morning
  • Mosey to Dream Chasers
  • 20 SSH IC
  • Downward Dog
  • Calf Stretches
  • 10 Willy Mays Hayes

The Thang

  • Part 1
    • 1 mile mosey to Waxhaw Elementary
    • Mary for 6
    • Head to the playground for partner work
      • Partner 1 = AMRAP pullups
      • Partner 2 = Run up the hill to the school / 5 burpees / run down and relieve your partner
      • 5 rounds
  • Part 2
    • Mosey to the top of Bad Idea
    • Run down the hill – 10 speed skaters
    • Run back up the hill – 10 jump squats
    • 5 rounds — Had to audible to 3 due to time
  • Part 3
    • Mosey across bridge, past Dream Chasers, stopping at Providence Rd
    • Jail Break back to start


  • After being stood up by not 1 but BOTH site Qs after a barrage of threats and harassment yesterday afternoon about getting the BB out, I was tempted to scrap the BB as a passive/aggressive way to hurt them both. Then Moneyball caught wind of their betrayal and stepped in on their behalf, begging to keep the streak alive. Moneyball – This one is for you brother!
  • Another day where everyone pushed themselves and me hard. I have traveled to many other AOs across the country, and I can honestly say that few to none push as hard as the Area To Be Named Later…
  • Great to see Ranger coming out, giving up sleep over summer break to better himself for HS soccer!
  • Shake and Bake must have the strongest jaw in all of UC due to the constant jawing he does… BUT, he’s doing it while crushing the exercises, so there’s that…
  • Posse, Xerox, Doughboy and Blades of Glory all pushed hard today. This was not an easy day for non-Gazelles.
  • Dasher and Easy Button ate this one up like it was nothing. No doubt it was just a quick snack before their main meal at Client Dinner tonight.
  • Dana rocked the 20lb vest the whole workout with me! Welcome to the vest club – Membership today 4 2!


  • Keep Radar in your prayers, but more importantly take a few minutes and make a call. Let him hear your voice and know that his brothers have not forgotten him.
  • Zero Prostate Cancer Run – September 14 – See Swimmers for details.


22 men decided to post on what can only be described as a swampy morning. Thanks to last night’s rain, the humidity was up and some plans for wheelbarrow relay on the soccer field had to be altered. None the less, the show must go on, and so it did. Add some beliefs that I stole this Q from Zin, and we had all the makings for a wonderful morning.

DiCCS proclaimed, and we’re off….


  • Very quick lap around the parking lot (complaints already starting about the pace…)
  • Circle up for a quick but effective warm-up
    • SSH IC x 20
    • Merkins CC x 20
    • Downward Dog
    • Calf Stretching

The Thang

  • 4 Corners – Alternate 10 burpees and 10 jump squats at each corner (stop signs) x 4 laps / Gazelles continue laps until the 6 was in
  • Mosey to far playground
  • Cindy’s Lap
    • Partner 1 = Cindy (5 pullups / 10 merkins / 15 squats) – AMRAP until partner 2 returns
    • Partner 2 = Lap around the adjoining track
    • Each partner must complete 3 laps
    • Some quick Mary waiting on the 6
  • Mosey to front of school
  • Alternate burpees (5) and jump squats (5) at each light – all the way to the end and back (12 lights)
  • Some short Mary
  • Jail break to start


  • Complaining started out at what could be an all time high for a non-partner carry call. YHC almost blew past the 1st stop sign on 4 Corners, and my abrupt stop got the PAX complaining immediately. However, there was a quick hush as the realization that 80 burpees were required to complete the 1st station… I believe everyone was hoping for an audible, but that was not in the humidity soaked cards this morning.
  • Deadwood and Zin both donned their vests today. I’m not sure how they made it through the 120 burpees and 120 jump squats with those, but they somehow did.
  • Goodfella is a burpee machine, lapping the field (he made sure to announce it) for 4 corners.
  • Chicken Little has channeled his inner Hollywood and suddenly become stupid fast…
  • Some PAX still need to work on pullups… The Murph 2.0 is coming for Veteran’s Day, so you need to be prepared.
  • That said, the PAX as a whole KILLED it today. This was a tough workout by anyone’s standards but everyone pushed hard and made it through. I would bet that 90% (maybe 100%) of us would not have done this a year ago. Great job!
  • Thanks as always for allowing me to Q. I’ll see you for my 3rd Q in a week at Floater!