Author Archive Chastain

Water, water, everywhere

“The nicest thing about the rain is that it always stops. Eventually.”


Eventually maybe, but not today. Regardless, 5 suckers brave men rolled out of the fartsack and frolicked in the puddles at Outland. YHC had prepared a workout for slightly dryer conditions, but out of spite or perhaps pure laziness wasn’t willing to modify it too much.

The Warmup:
The mumble chatter was strong from the start as we took a long mosey around the starting parking lot. Disclaimers were given and the dread set in as we realized how deep the waters were. Circle up and stretch those muscles:

  • SSH
  • Imperial Walkers
  • Po tay toh Pickers
  • Plank and stretch those arms and legs

The Thang:

  • First exercise and we’re already modifying to avoid the wet. Mosey to the covered walkway and set up two stations: Station 1 does Merkins while Station 2 does LBCs. Bear crawl from 1 to 2 and Crab Walk from 2 to 1. Repeat a few times for good measure.
  • Find a wall (benches don’t count!), chair up, 51 air presses CC
  • Indian Run with a twist: The last man in line does a single burpee before catching up to the line. He then taps the (new) last man on the shoulder before continuing to the front of the line. Continue this to mosey on to the Little Baby Track (LBT), but WAIT…it’s flooded! A quick poll indicated no one wanted to go for a swim, so continue on to the small parking lot next to the elementary school.
  • YHC posted at Watchtower this past Tuesday and decided to borrow an exercise from Damascus. The Beast:
    • Run to the first light post / perform 1st exercise / return to start
    • Run to first light post / perform 1st exercise / run to 2nd light post / perform 2nd exercise / return to start
    • Repeat until all 6 exercises/light posts have been completed
    • Exercises 1-6 – 6x Squats, 6x Jump squats, 6x Lunges, 6x Reverse Lunges, 6x Side Lunges, 6x Burpees
  • Find a wall, chair up, a few more air presses
  • Long mosey back to the buses
  • 50 (five zero) Dips, bus lap, 15 (one five) Derkins, bus lap, 50 (yes five zero) Step Ups, bus lap
  • Why not, find a wall, chair up, 67 air presses
  • Back to the starting parking lot with one final modification from the original. I’d planned on a Ladder up and down the hill but Bonhoeffer informed me he’d revolt, so we used the lot instead to do Merkins and Squats. As penance the total had to equal 8 instead of 7, so 1 Squat an 7 Burpees instead of the traditional 1 and 6.
  • Running short on time so a quick mosey to find a wall, chair up and a final few air presses
  • End with the COT


It was an honor leading these fine gentlemen through the cold and wet in the Valley formerly of the Sun. I’m sure in the not too distant future the AO will live up to it’s namesake, it’ll be hot and muggy, and we’ll be wishing it was cold and rainy again. For now, though, these guys were awesome and trudged through it with no (minimal) grumbling.


4 brave men posted at Valle del Sol to see what YHC had planned for a last minute substi-VQ. Fortunately, we all survived.

WU: Long mosey around the starting parking lot to get the juices flowing. Circle up back at the start. Random number (not divisible by 5) of SSH, Potato Pickers, Low Slow Squats, Merkins, and a wee bit o’ calf stretching.

Mosey to the bus shelter for the Thang:

  • Partner up and split the load of 50 Derkins, 100 Lunges (each leg), 150 Step ups (total), and 200 Dips. Partner 2 runs around the invisible school buses.
  • Mosey to the elementary school lot and grab a rock. 10 each of curls, chest presses, low squats to air presses, and bench presses with a flutter. In between run to the gate and back.
  • Mosey to the playground track. At this point I’m being told we’re going the wrong direction. Too bad. Onward! 10 Big Boy Situps, run a lap. 15 burpees, run a lap. Running shortish on time so…
  • Mosey back towards the start. Halt around the invisible buses for a series of Freddie Mercuries, Supermans, Bananas (Shepherd said he couldn’t go home without them), and Dying Cockroaches. Props to the group for figure out how to soldier on when YHC momentarily forgot to command the exercise start and cadence.
  • Mosey to the front and chair up on the wall while doing LIII air presses in honor of our upcoming Superbowl (Go Not-Patriots!)
  • Finish off the morning with a couple rounds of the Protractor (Somebody tell EE that 6 inches isn’t on any protractor I ever had at school)

Moleskin: The Good Hoeffer found foam dice at the $$ store, added some exercises to each side, and was kind enough to bring them out to Outland today. We took turns tossing them after each mosey to add to the workout. Extra grumbling was had by all.
YHC heard that Bonhoeffer loved running so I was sure to include 2.97 miles of it today. YHC also heard today that Bonhoeffer wanted to slash the tires of whoever said he loved running…
If anyone knows where to find a good breakfast-scented cologne, then I can tell you what to get Double E for his birthday. Something sure smelled good out there today but it wasn’t us.
Shepherd was the only one today that got the Respect, and he deserved it as I think he did the least grumbling.

A big thanks to these excellent pax for showing up and offering good words of encouragement for my virgin Q. I hope they enjoyed it as much as I did.