Loop the Lake
Two guys together in the woods…the jokes write themselves so I’ll save my fingers the typing.
11:59 and it doesn’t look like anyone else is gonna show so I ditch the weinke and switch to a lunch time run.
4 laps around the trails were delightful…ly humid and miserable
If I’d known there was a Strava segment for the loop…
…it wouldn’t have changed a damn thing.
The End.
Welcome to THE Swarm
When did it become Swarm and not THE Swarm? I feel like that’s a critical distinction that it’s not just any old Swarm and rather it’s the one everyone should be talking about. Afterwards, of course, because with the humidity at 1000% it felt like we were breathing through a straw so it wasn’t a day for mumblechatter. Unless, of course, you count the book club going on during the warmup portion of the exercise with a couple of chatterboxes (not THE Chatterbox, who posted at Impromptu) going on about who knows what.
So let’s get down to it. We did a warmup lap around the IPC 400 loop with some Side Straddle Hops, Imperial Walkers, stretches, and plankjacks. That’s when the aforementioned book club was going on. As the QIC for the premier hour long Friday morning Waxhaw bootcamp I took offense
Back to COT and down the Path to the Palace. Paula Abdul style. 10 Merkins and 10 Squats at the light poles on the way down.
Silence is golden.
People’s chair and 50 air presses on the shed then mosey up past the traffic circle and over to the triangular area near Geeb’s Jungle. Find yourself a partner on the way.
Collectively, you and your partner are now responsible for 150 Mike Tysons, 150 Flutters (2=1 duh), and 150 Step-Ups (as in, 150 times off the ground. I don’t know how you count 2=1 for those) and to ensure we get some good mileage in you get to alternate running around the circle and back.
Now, ditch your old partner and find a shiny new one
This next part was a terrible idea from the beginning but mama didn’t raise no quitter¹ so we did it anyways.
Partner 1 BEAR CRAWLS around the Jungle while Partner 2 runs the opposite direction around. When you meet up, swap places and continue until you complete the full bear crawl lap.
So I had planned to do a full bear crawl lap
Instead, repeato until both partners have bear crawled and run twice. That was good enough for about half a lap around the jungle.
So now we’re at the high school parking lot and there’s still 20 freaking minutes left. Time for a little Aggressive Corners. Now I know it’s Progressive Corners, but I feel that Aggressive is much more fitting of a name.
- Corner 1 – 5 burpees
- Corner 2 – 10 Bomb Jacks
- Corner 3 – 15 Six Inch Plank Jacks
- Corner 4 – 20 Big Bois
So you basically add a new corner each time you run back. Only doing the exercises on the clockwise direction. Have you ever tried to breathe through one of those little plastic coffee stirrers? I don’t know why you would but that’s what I imagine it would feel like.
Getting low on time so we mosey to the alcove on the high school and do a Chastain Classic™
10 Donkey Kicks on the wall followed by a 10 second hold. Repeato with 9 DKs and a 9 second hold all the way to 5. Running low on time so recover.
Indian Run back to COT. It’s always a crapshoot with Indian Runs. Sometimes you get guys who refuse to sprint to the front. Other times you get get guys *cough* Ice9 *cough* who sprint the whole time. Fortunately, everyone was on their best behavior and we did probably the best Indian Run that’s ever been ran.
Upon arriving at COT, Transporter led Impromptu/Swarm in American Hammers. I think we hit close to 400 or something
Ricky Boobie took us out
¹ – This was determined to be a lie
Announcements
- F3 Dads – Tomorrow from 9:00 to 9:45am at Briarcrest Clubhouse. Bring your 2.0s boys AND girls. Bring a swimsuit to swim in the pool from 10:00 to 11:00am
- Beer Run – Tomorrow at noon, in and around Plaza Midwood
- Blood Drive – June 19th at 5 Stones from 9:00 to 1:30 – Go sign up
- Crane Relay 2021 – August 13th – Team relay style. See GroupMe calendar for details
I’m number one
Who needs enemies when you have friends like these, right Chicken Little?
.
Yesterday morning following WXW Express I told the Chicken I’d go to Prickle and Goo with him and break his broga cherry. Less than 30 minutes later and I’d committed to substi-Qing Cowbell for an injured Bluescreen. So when Gerber does his afternoon marketing for the Cowbell I get a 
from Chicken.
So now I’ve gotta come up with something to cure the fever
In my head I’d been rolling around the ideas of some station work, similar to what we’ve done regularly at Diesel. Only this time we’d throw some sprints in there because who doesn’t love a good sprint?
Starting with a long mosey around the Target parking lot I informed the PAX this was the slowest they’d be allowed to run the rest of the morning. I felt a little bad for Chicken Little missing out on Prickle and Goo so we warmed up with a few stretches to give him an idea of what he missed. See GroupMe for how he REALLY feels about his choice to attend Cowbell.
So here’s The Thang. There are 4 rows in the PetSmart parking lot so we divided (roughly) evenly between each one. Card at each lane included instructions. Do the exercises then grab your kettlebell and shift down one lane until you’ve done all 4. Upon completion run a lap until the 6 is in.
| Round 1 | |||
| Lane 1 | Lane 2 | Lane 3 | Lane 4 |
| 30 Squat Thrusters | 30 Chest Presses | 30 Curl to Press | 30 Kettlebell Swings |
| 20 Walking Lunges | 20 Walking Lunges | 20 Walking Lunges | 20 Walking Lunges |
| 10 Merkins | 10 Merkins | 10 Merkins | 10 Merkins |
| Curb and back sprint | Curb and back sprint | Curb and back sprint | Curb and back sprint |
It was such a hit! Everyone was so excited when I told them there was another card with a second round of exercises listed
| Round 2 | |||
| Lane 1 | Lane 2 | Lane 3 | Lane 4 |
| 30 Flutter/Chest Press | 30 Plank Pull Throughs | 30 Single Arm Press (each arm) | 30 Goblet Squats |
| 20 Bonnie Blairs | 20 Bonnie Blairs | 20 Bonnie Blairs | 20 Bonnie Blairs |
| 5 Burpees | 5 Burpees | 5 Burpees | 5 Burpees |
| Around the lot sprint | Around the lot sprint | Around the lot sprint | Around the lot sprint |
A couple notes on round 2:
- 30 Single Arm Presses (each arm) was stupid. I would’ve audibled but Gerber and I started with that one, so if I had to do it everyone else did
- Goblet Squats into Bonnie Blairs was also dumb
- I was questioned on the usage of the word sprint on the around the parking lot. Sprinting speed is inversely proportional to the amount of time doing Cowbell
So with 6 or so minutes remaining I called a huddle with some Squat Thrusters followed by submissions from the PAX, including Chest Presses, Big Bois, LBCs, Merkins, and Curls.
Moleskin
A few months ago I attended Cowbell for the first time. The following week Chicken Little asked me how it went and I described it thusly: When you’re lifting you wish you were running and when you’re running you wish you were lifting. I think that’s how you know you got a good workout is when all parts are equally terrible. To tell the truth, I was a little nervous putting this one together. After the beating Bottlecap gave us last week, the last thing I wanted to was to come in with too easy of a workout. Judging by the death threats I’ve gotten, I think I’m clear in that respect.
Regardless, I knew it was all worth it when Ice 9 told me I was #1 while driving out of the parking lot
Popeye saves the day
April 1 Q challenge. Tool Time on the schedule. No Tool Time at Cowbell. Gerber is eyeing the FNG as a possible fill-in. Popeye rolls in and saves the day with a on the spot Q.
Partner work with coupons, kettle bells, and bricks. One person is the odd man out and does a called exercise on their own.
Welcome to FNG Mike Lipson, brought out by Chastain. Named Landfill because he’s big on being green and environmentally conscious. Almost got named Tucker Carlson but Glidah with the save at the last minute with the suggestion of Landfill.
Express yourself
12 pax did some repeats. 1 pax was responsible for writing a backblast but didn’t.
200m x2
400m x2
600m x2
800m x2
200m x2
400m x2
That might’ve been it. I dunno, it was a week ago.
Is there a minimum mileage?
Chastain wants credit for the workouts that Chastain does. No backblast = no credit. So Chastain writes the backblast.
The Boondocks is allegedly a bootcamp workout at Porter Ridge but this day was very gear-ish. Medicine ball and a firehose. Oh yeah, and 0.55 miles according to my watch. Great workout and I’m not complaining, other than it didn’t help me hit my mileage goal for the week.
So lots of stuff was done. Throwing the medicine ball. Slamming the medicine ball. Breaking the medicine ball. Oh yeah, and tugging at the hose. Uh, the firehose. No, I don’t think that’s a pet name.
Welcome to FNG Timothy, now known as Holyfield. Had part of his ear ripped off while playing goalie in a soccer league in his younger years. Can’t tell now, though, as plastic surgery is a wonderful thing. Still gets the name, though.
That should be enough talking to qualify as a legit backblast.
Nailed it
Showgirl was the QIC but called in sick. April 1 Q Challenge was in jeopardy. 15 minutes to go, Nails stepped in and got a quick tour of the AO. Time to start. Exercises done. Loops around the front lot. Donkey Kicks on the side wall. A dark run through the woods for some partner work. I don’t remember the rest. I just want my credit you lazy bums.
Swing and Misssssssssss…Not
Brothers: 14…Penalty Box, Popeye, Chicken Little, O69, Swimmers, Bunyan, Lambeau, Elmers, Centerfold, Ball & Chain, Landfill, Chastain, Spitz, and Mayhem
This morning was spring training for F3’s first baseball tryouts. Did not find any diamonds (ie Babe Ruth, Bull Durham) in the rough, but plenty of “Smalls” stepped up to the plate.
14 F3 brothers sported their favorite gloves, baseball hats, and team logos for a fun workout this morning. Yes, Fitness (F1) is important to all of us. Fellowship (F2) in our communities (ie CPR training, blood drives, Christ Closet giveaways) are equally important. Don’t forget the 3rd F (Faith). Q Source meetings on Mondays and Fridays, bible study on Zoom calls and in person on Saturdays and Sundays, and discipleship study (with pizza and beer) on Monday nights. My point…be a positive change agent (aka Him) in your homes and communities. Friends, family members, and strangers need you. Will you engage?
Exercises (if the Lexicon is incorrect, asking for grace).
Thangs:
Wiffle bat stretches
Side straddle hops
Dead stop pushups
Side planks (3 x 20 seconds)
Rotator Y’s and W’s
Lateral hurdle hops over bricks
Bulgarian squats
Single arm dumbbell rows
Rotational bat (instead of bonze ball and cable on Smith machine) rows
Low slow squats with bat behind head
Double coupon (instead of trap bar) deadlifts while partner completes side straddle hops
Ended with 5 minutes of stretching and breathing led by Bunyan. Need more of this brothers. A lot of banged up people out there.
I’m sure I forgot something. Oh well…
Thanks to Chastain for “voluntelling” me to Q.
Later brothers. Thanks for who you were, are, and will be moving forward.
Mayhem out.
Modify on the run
Bottlecap asked me to Q the Afternoon Delight earlier this week but I didn’t start planning it until my drive over to the park. 30 minutes? No big deal.
4 pax ready to roll at 12:30. DiCCS given then off we go. I had a general plan to loop all the trails in the park and throw in exercises at random. I figured there had to be a rock pile somewhere on site too so there’s be plenty to do. Turns out I was right so that’s what we did.
Loop the trails. Pick up some rocks. Run back and forth while your partner picks up some rocks. Shoulder Taps, Bomb Jacks, Squats, and Tysons. Finished with some Step-Ups and some Side Straddle Hops to kill the clock.
We did about a mile and a half. Nothing crazy but we didn’t avoid running either.
I was really worried about tripping and falling at WTF tomorrow so I decided to do it today instead, much to the amusement horror of some poor lady walking her dogs. Sure glad I got that out of the way so I didn’t embarrass myself tomorrow.
Madera de la mañana
No reason to make the title Spanish other than “Wood of the morning” sounds hilarious. Running happened. Credit must therefore happen.