I’ll tell you why.
#1. Alf is the nantan. I thought after some backroom wheelin’ and dealin’ that I had stymied his campaign to be nantan. But much like Putin, corruption always finds a way to prevail. You have won this battle, Alf, but know this: #notmynantan
#2. WTF, Dunkin. Just when I had started to recover from the whole Alf, #notmynantan, thing, you go to something like this. I know we are not popular there. We take all of your precious parking spots. We make it harder for your customers to purchase donuts (because they have to walk further). Sometimes we are loud. But we have always been faithful to purchase donuts and coffee. I sort of felt like we were making progress since we now park further away. Even your employees thanked us for giving them their parking spaces back (which they actually never own in the first #entitledmuch). But today was a new low. With about 1/2 mile to go, I felt it. I told myself, “have no fear, Dunkin is just ahead”. Yes, I know it was a good rhyme. Dunkin is basically a fortress of solitude. They have donuts and coffee and a bathroom. It is the perfect place to find solace from a hard day at work or a tough run. But a fortress of solitude should never let you down. I don’t care how much you hate someone, you should never deprive him of toilet paper. Come on, it is a basic human right! You didn’t even leave a few shards on the cardboard roll. Low blow, Dunkin. I don’t know if we will ever recover our relationship. #notmyfortressofsolitude
#3. After feeling bummed and pretty raw, I decided to restart the day with some breakfast on the way to work. Naturally, I stopped at Bo’s for a Cajun Filet Biscuit combo with fries. Why anyone gets the Bo Rounds is beyond me. The best thing about the fries is the seasoning. Let’s be honest, without the seasoning their fries are pretty lame. Well, the Bo’s on Charlottetown apparently serves some fries sans seasoning. Like the whole pack of fries sans seasoning. I give up. I should have went with the Bo Rounds. #notmyfries
So yeah, that’s it. I’m now in a deep state of depression and its all Alf’s, #notmynantan, fault.
I thought I would give a brief update on Bout Time and his son, Jennings, and give some ways you all can care for them.
Update: Last week, Bout Time and family moved to Memphis, TN. Jennings has been transferred to St. Jude. He is currently in the middle of an 9 day cycle of chemo designed to wipe out his bone marrow and immune system. On day 10 (or day zero), he will have a bone marrow transplant courtesy of his sister, Caroline. From that point on, the prayer is that her bone marrow cells eradicate all AML cells and prevent them from ever returning. The Palmers will be in Memphis for a minimum of 100 days post transplant.
What can you do?
–For no sickness during this cycle of chemo right now for Jennings. It is the strongest dosage he has ever received.
–That following his cycle of chemo, he will have zero AML cells left in his body.
–That Caroline would have a quick recovery following her surgery and she would be brave. Lots to take in for a 5 year old.
–That Joel and Lauren’s marriage would be strengthen in this and they would be able to connect and communicate well during this time.
–That they would only have to stay in Memphis for the absolute minimum time needed.
–That this would be the last treatment necessary for Jennings.
–That, even in the midst of this suffering and heartache, our Lord would be glorified.
2. Attend a night of Song and Prayer on NEXT THURSDAY, 4/19/18, at Reformed Theological Seminary (2101 Carmel Rd.) at 7:30pm in the Chapel. This will take place on Day Zero.
3. Send the Palmers a care package. Their address is 135 Harbor Ridge Lane South
Memphis, TN 38103.
I also wanted to say thank you to all of you that have been praying and have cared for Joel and Lauren. F3 is an amazing family of friends that truly cares for each other and steps up and serves in times of need.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Donuts. Show me a man who doesn’t love donuts and I will show you a man who is failing at life. However, sometimes the makers of the Donuts do not like you. They hate the way you walk through their establishment, all sweaty and stuff. They hate that you park in front of their building and then run away for 45 minutes. They hate the fellowship you have with other Donut lovers. They hate that they still can’t get the smell out the bathroom from that one time Semi visited it 7 months ago. Deep down though, they are just jealous. They are jealous that we can run 6 miles and then eat several Donuts. You see, we are different from the standard Donut lovers and they hate us for that. But it’s OK, we forgive them. We will “kill them with our kindness”. They will soon grow to love us just as we love their Donuts. Because, at the end of the day, we all have the same thing in common: the love of Donuts.
Prohibition smells like liquor. All the time. He lives, breathes, and drinks liquor 24/7. Some would say he is one with the liquor. Why? Liquor is his job. And he is winning at his job. No one is more dedicated to his job than Prohibition. When he sleeps at night, he dreams of Mount Gay Rum (yes, its real). When he drives to work, he sips Cointreau. When he eats dinner with his family, they recite the Remy Martin motto, “One Night/Live them” (which as a marketing guy, is wickedly confusing with the singular/plural construction) over and over again. He waters his grass with The Botanist. Yes, his grass is mostly made up of WILD flowers that he FORAGED from 22 islands and DISTILLED to make sweet creams and lotions, which he sells on Saturdays at the farmers market under the brand name “Prohibition’s Liquor Creams”. So, if you are looking to hire someone who is loves their job and lives the job, then look no further than Prohibition.
**This backblast is paid advertisement and brought to you by Remy-Cointreau and their brands of fine liquor.
I know, I know, you missed this. The weekly writing of the Donut Run BB that everyone has come to love. We took the holidays off but now we are back! Yes, I am late with the BB this week. I could tell you it was work’s fault. That my brother is annoying to work with. That I have to do all his work. That I would never advise anyone to go into business with their family and then hire their brother. I could also recount the many times he has almost torpedo his largest account. But alas I won’t go into the excuses or use work or family as an excuse. I owe it to you all to get this out sooner and I apologize. So here goes…
What we did:
Run the reverse southern route. 1 ran the Jello route.
Moleskin (side bar: I always think of this when I have to type “moleskin”):
Jello is back after a hiatus with a hip injury. He ran his 4 mile route and crushed it. Good to have him back out. Grave Dancer and High Tide shuffled their way around while myself and Fleetwood chatted it up the whole run.
So, what has changed since the last Donut Run in December? Well Tuck has started a new workout everyday of the week. He’s making a serious push for Q of the year in 2018. Alf has some weird Cerebellum or Celebrate #inclusive workout in Waverly now. Tolkein has 64 more racing chairs. Hops has retired from F3. Tiger Rag is still in hibernation (I’m scared to think what he looks like). Should we do a wellness check?? Semi-Gloss is now leading cycling classes at the Harris Y. It’s specifically targeted for 45 year old women with 2+ kids. He sees this as a good niche business with potential expansion further in South Charlotte. Ironically, he competes for class space with Swiper.
Let’s see…Aquafresh has fully cemented himself as the DMZ site Q by kicking out all former site Q’s. Or maybe just me. BUT I have the shovel flag and I’m holding it hostage (insert evil laugh)! Actually, I’ll bring it monday to the DMZ at Independence Park for Bout Time and Jennings.
We ran 6.5 miles and 7 out of the 12 stayed for donuts/2ndF!
8 Things I am learning right now:
1. Always pursue your M. Don’t slip into roommate mode, which is so easy to do and one of my biggest struggles. It’s easy to seek the comfort of the couch and the TV remote instead of putting in the time and energy to engage your M through communication. She deserves it.
2. When your son asks you to throw the football/baseball, drop what you are doing and throw with him. Work, dinner, cleaning, yard work are all meaningless when compared to building a relationship with your son (or daughter, of which I have 3!). It may seem insignificant to me, but it’s so huge in my son’s mind that I throw with him, even for 3 minutes. At dinner every night, we do go around the table and each person gives their high and low from the day. 75% of the time, my son’s high is “throwing the football/baseball with dad”. These little things will pay off huge through relationship equity when he is a teenager and hard.
3. Having a perfectly manicured lawn is pointless. It’s grass. Only in America do we spend hundreds of dollars a month on having green grass. Here’s a tip: if you cut the weeds/grass short enough, it all looks the same. I need invest that time and money in my family, my friends, and my church.
4. The teaching and preaching of the Word of God on Sunday at church is vital to my wellbeing. It resets my heart and mind for the upcoming week. Through it, I am convicted of my own sin and areas of my life where I am pursuing worldly treasures vs. heavenly treasures. Make church a priority.
5. Invest in your employees or those who work under/for you. Recognize and encourage when they succeed and help them when they struggle.
6. Wash the dishes and clean the kitchen every night and let the M relax. Pro Tip: never forget to run the dishwasher the night before. It’s not a good morning for the M.
7. When your adopted Chinese daughter sees your house and says “Zu Xia home”, its OK to cry. Yes, sweetie, this is your forever home.
8. Put the phone in the drawer when I get home and don’t touch it until the kids are in bed. Man, I really suck at this.
1 braved the rain for a 3 mile pre-run. Immediately as Hamlet opened his door at 5:29, the rains stopped. The man controls the weather!
Run down Camilla stopping at all driveways on the right and the school entrance for 10 merkins (10 stops)
-25 Flutters IC
Up to Brandermill for 7’s (7 jump squats at the top, 7 diamonds at the bottom, repeat 7 times)
-15 LBCs IC
-15 MCs IC
Run up Camilla stopping at all driveways on the left and the end for 10 squats (10 stops)
Head to Church at Charlotte and partner up
-Partner 1 does 20 derkins, 20 LBCs
-Partner 2 runs the long way around the bottom of the church
-Flapjack and repeat for 3 complete sets
-20 Russian Twist IC
-20 Flutter IC
Run to the bottom of the lot
-AYG to the 3rd light pole
-AYG to the 3rd light pole
-1 minute wall sit with 15 shoulder presses IC (for Runstopper)
Oh man. Last time I was at DMZ it was still 2016. My last Q was almost a year ago! Been too long! Also, only posting at 2 bootcamps in 2017 shows. I am spent. We did 200+ merkins and 200+ squats.
Runstopper’s son just started at Fort Lewis College in Durango, CO #prouddad. But I think know why he chose CO for college. There are over 600 dispensaries in CO. That is more than the number of locations of McDonalds, Starbucks and 7-Elevens combined! Also, in 2015, Coloradoians purchased 121 tons of weed. If my math is right, that is 329,414,938 joints (average joint is 0.32 grams). Colorado has a population of 5,541,000 (2016). That is a remarkable 59.5 joints per person per year. I gotta say, CO is crushing weed. The productivity of CO has be off the charts. Just kidding, Runstopper, I’m sure he’s staying pure. Or maybe he has Glaucoma, like the rest of the population of CO.
Speaking of high this morning, Rock skipped most driveways both times. Bout Time was fast. Aquafresh and Hamlet were arguing like an old couple about some new exercise named a Jerkin. Great to see Lewinski and Scratch & Win out there!
On 11/9/2017, Runstopper is looking for runners to run with a veteran who is running 31 marathons in 31 days in 31 different cities. He will be running around Freedom Park at 7am. Great idea and a great cause!
I pulled into the lot promptly at 5:18. Everyone had already left and Semi was angry. Started yelling immediately about how he is not running the scheduled reverse route because “you can see the end from a mile away because of that stupid street light, but you yet its still so far away”. Recognizing that he doesn’t seem to have the mental fortitude to overcome challenges, we set out on the regular route.
At mile 2, my watch beeped. This was normal, but what wasn’t normal was at the same time hundreds of bottle rockets and roman candles were shot off right next to us on 51! I did my best Neo impression and dodged a few. It was just like 1988 Beirut. Chuck Norris would have been proud. A brass band was there playing Aerosmith and Beyonce. Semi peed his pants and his IT band shot out of his leg, hitting the clown from IT in the stomach. Thankfully, my friend Terry survived. Then the guys from the 1,000 Mile Challenge on Strava and the reincarnation of Ed McMahon unrolled a giant banner that said: “You ran 1,000 miles in 2017!”. It was amazing. Highlight of my morning, for sure. I was looking for one of those giant checks, but I didn’t see it. They’ll probably just mail it to me. I feel like I just achieved #batflipper status or #highoctaneHIM status. I can’t remember what its called these days. Can I get a ruling on the correct status, Hops?
Oh and then we ate Donuts afterwards. Horsehead was missed.
…this is JRR Tolkein’s marathon motto. He’s shooting to BQ. I think he can do it. Just avoid weights until after the marathon (see below).
Work is busy and I can’t really think of anything creative right now. I do want to say that people are weird. Yesterday, we all read about the Mad Pooper. Today, I read about this meathead. Just another way to show how lifting weights can injure you. For both of these stories, there has to be a logical explanation, right? Negative. It’s just weird people.
So, here’s a question: Would you rather have story #1 happen every time you ran for the rest of your life (you are the Mad Pooper) or have what happened in story #2 just once in your life?
Bro, we need to talk. We are all concerned with how far you have fallen. Most of us think you are actually a homeless person (Are you actually homeless?). No one with a house and access to a shower and shampoo and a washer/dryer on a daily basis smells as bad as your shirts. The Donut Run can longer stay silent. We must talk openly and honestly about how this makes us feel and how this is hurting you. Here are 6 ways it is hurting you:
1. Isolation: No one wants to run with you. Even Kirk had to stop running with you and drop back with others to just “get away”. Or eat with you. Or hangout with you. Or even text you for fear the smell will somehow travel digitally.
2. Emotional Distress of Others: On Wednesday, every member of the pax was in tears after you joined us in the BOM for prayer. The stench literally brought tears to our eyes.
3. Spiritual Uncleanliness: Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Please clothe yourself in cleanliness and not stenchiness.
4. Marital Strife: No way your M can continue to stay with you like this. Vile smells is grounds for a biblical divorce.
5. Material Crumblings: The front seat of your car has been half eaten away by the massive smells. Pretty soon you will have to drive Fred Flintstone style.
6. Earthly Groans: The earth groans under the weight of the odor. What do you think the real cause of Harvey and Irma was??
I found this blog to offer some helpful solutions: http://yousmellstank.blogspot.com/
We do this because we love you. And also because Dunkin Donuts will not let us inside if you are within 500ft of us. Smell better for us. Smell better for the Donuts.
Take out through tears by BW
This week, we will run the reverse southern route (6 miles):
Rea (towards Old Providence Elementary)
R. on Candlewyck
R. on Providence
R. on Hwy 51 (Pineville/Matthews Rd.)
R. on Colony
If you are running the BRR and want to taper, then run the Jello Route (4.2 miles):
Rea (towards Old Providence Elementary)
R. on Candlewyck
L. on Providence
L. on Rea
I cannot make the run so someone needs some #ISI to be a #HIM and take a #redpill to #sheildlock and lead. Also, the BB better be amazing. Or I will just make stuff up.