Author Archive Bushwood

Donut Run is Back and so are the BBs!

I know, I know, you missed this. The weekly writing of the Donut Run BB that everyone has come to love. We took the holidays off but now we are back! Yes, I am late with the BB this week. I could tell you it was work’s fault. That my brother is annoying to work with. That I have to do all his work. That I would never advise anyone to go into business with their family and then hire their brother. I could also recount the many times he has almost torpedo his largest account. But alas I won’t go into the excuses or use work or family as an excuse. I owe it to you all to get this out sooner and I apologize. So here goes…

What we did:

Run the reverse southern route. 1 ran the Jello route.

Moleskin (side bar: I always think of this when I have to type “moleskin”):

Jello is back after a hiatus with a hip injury. He ran his 4 mile route and crushed it. Good to have him back out. Grave Dancer and High Tide shuffled their way around while myself and Fleetwood chatted it up the whole run.

So, what has changed since the last Donut Run in December? Well Tuck has started a new workout everyday of the week. He’s making a serious push for Q of the year in 2018. Alf has some weird Cerebellum or Celebrate #inclusive workout in Waverly now. Tolkein has 64 more racing chairs. Hops has retired from F3. Tiger Rag is still in hibernation (I’m scared to think what he looks like). Should we do a wellness check?? Semi-Gloss is now leading cycling classes at the Harris Y. It’s specifically targeted for 45 year old women with 2+ kids. He sees this as a good niche business with potential expansion further in South Charlotte. Ironically, he competes for class space with Swiper.

Let’s see…Aquafresh has fully cemented himself as the DMZ site Q by kicking out all former site Q’s. Or maybe just me. BUT I have the shovel flag and I’m holding it hostage (insert evil laugh)! Actually, I’ll bring it monday to the DMZ at Independence Park for Bout Time and Jennings.



Donut Run Musings

We ran 6.5 miles and 7 out of the 12 stayed for donuts/2ndF!


8 Things I am learning right now:

1. Always pursue your M. Don’t slip into roommate mode, which is so easy to do and one of my biggest struggles. It’s easy to seek the comfort of the couch and the TV remote instead of putting in the time and energy to engage your M through communication. She deserves it.

2. When your son asks you to throw the football/baseball, drop what you are doing and throw with him. Work, dinner, cleaning, yard work are all meaningless when compared to building a relationship with your son (or daughter, of which I have 3!). It may seem insignificant to me, but it’s so huge in my son’s mind that I throw with him, even for 3 minutes. At dinner every night, we do go around the table and each person gives their high and low from the day. 75% of the time, my son’s high is “throwing the football/baseball with dad”. These little things will pay off huge through relationship equity when he is a teenager and hard.

3. Having a perfectly manicured lawn is pointless. It’s grass. Only in America do we spend hundreds of dollars a month on having green grass. Here’s a tip: if you cut the weeds/grass short enough, it all looks the same. I need invest that time and money in my family, my friends, and my church.

4. The teaching and preaching of the Word of God on Sunday at church is vital to my wellbeing. It resets my heart and mind for the upcoming week. Through it, I am convicted of my own sin and areas of my life where I am pursuing worldly treasures vs. heavenly treasures. Make church a priority.

5. Invest in your employees or those who work under/for you. Recognize and encourage when they succeed and help them when they struggle.

6. Wash the dishes and clean the kitchen every night and let the M relax. Pro Tip: never forget to run the dishwasher the night before. It’s not a good morning for the M.

7. When your adopted Chinese daughter sees your house and says “Zu Xia home”, its OK to cry. Yes, sweetie, this is your forever home.

8. Put the phone in the drawer when I get home and don’t touch it until the kids are in bed. Man, I really suck at this.


Marijuana Dispensaries

1 braved the rain for a 3 mile pre-run. Immediately as Hamlet opened his door at 5:29, the rains stopped. The man controls the weather!

Run down Camilla stopping at all driveways on the right and the school entrance for 10 merkins (10 stops)
-25 Flutters IC

Up to Brandermill for 7’s (7 jump squats at the top, 7 diamonds at the bottom, repeat 7 times)
-15 LBCs IC
-15 MCs IC

Run up Camilla stopping at all driveways on the left and the end for 10 squats (10 stops)

Head to Church at Charlotte and partner up
-Partner 1 does 20 derkins, 20 LBCs
-Partner 2 runs the long way around the bottom of the church
-Flapjack and repeat for 3 complete sets
-20 Russian Twist IC
-20 Flutter IC

Run to the bottom of the lot
-AYG to the 3rd light pole
-AYG to the 3rd light pole
-1 minute wall sit with 15 shoulder presses IC (for Runstopper)

Oh man. Last time I was at DMZ it was still 2016. My last Q was almost a year ago! Been too long! Also, only posting at 2 bootcamps in 2017 shows. I am spent. We did 200+ merkins and 200+ squats.

Runstopper’s son just started at Fort Lewis College in Durango, CO #prouddad. But I think know why he chose CO for college. There are over 600 dispensaries in CO. That is more than the number of locations of McDonalds, Starbucks and 7-Elevens combined! Also, in 2015, Coloradoians purchased 121 tons of weed. If my math is right, that is 329,414,938 joints (average joint is 0.32 grams). Colorado has a population of 5,541,000 (2016). That is a remarkable 59.5 joints per person per year. I gotta say, CO is crushing weed. The productivity of CO has be off the charts. Just kidding, Runstopper, I’m sure he’s staying pure. Or maybe he has Glaucoma, like the rest of the population of CO.

Speaking of high this morning, Rock skipped most driveways both times. Bout Time was fast. Aquafresh and Hamlet were arguing like an old couple about some new exercise named a Jerkin. Great to see Lewinski and Scratch & Win out there!

On 11/9/2017, Runstopper is looking for runners to run with a veteran who is running 31 marathons in 31 days in 31 different cities. He will be running around Freedom Park at 7am. Great idea and a great cause!

Bottle Rockets and Roman Candles at Donut Run

I pulled into the lot promptly at 5:18. Everyone had already left and Semi was angry. Started yelling immediately about how he is not running the scheduled reverse route because “you can see the end from a mile away because of that stupid street light, but you yet its still so far away”. Recognizing that he doesn’t seem to have the mental fortitude to overcome challenges, we set out on the regular route.

At mile 2, my watch beeped. This was normal, but what wasn’t normal was at the same time hundreds of bottle rockets and roman candles were shot off right next to us on 51! I did my best Neo impression and dodged a few. It was just like 1988 Beirut. Chuck Norris would have been proud. A brass band was there playing Aerosmith and Beyonce. Semi peed his pants and his IT band shot out of his leg, hitting the clown from IT in the stomach. Thankfully, my friend Terry survived. Then the guys from the 1,000 Mile Challenge on Strava and the reincarnation of Ed McMahon unrolled a giant banner that said: “You ran 1,000 miles in 2017!”. It was amazing. Highlight of my morning, for sure. I was looking for one of those giant checks, but I didn’t see it. They’ll probably just mail it to me. I feel like I just achieved #batflipper status or #highoctaneHIM status. I can’t remember what its called these days. Can I get a ruling on the correct status, Hops?

Oh and then we ate Donuts afterwards. Horsehead was missed.

Go as fast as you can for as long as you can…

…this is JRR Tolkein’s marathon motto. He’s shooting to BQ. I think he can do it. Just avoid weights until after the marathon (see below).

Work is busy and I can’t really think of anything creative right now. I do want to say that people are weird. Yesterday, we all read about the Mad Pooper. Today, I read about this meathead. Just another way to show how lifting weights can injure you. For both of these stories, there has to be a logical explanation, right? Negative. It’s just weird people.

So, here’s a question: Would you rather have story #1 happen every time you ran for the rest of your life (you are the Mad Pooper) or have what happened in story #2 just once in your life?


An Intervention of Agony


Bro, we need to talk. We are all concerned with how far you have fallen. Most of us think you are actually a homeless person (Are you actually homeless?). No one with a house and access to a shower and shampoo and a washer/dryer on a daily basis smells as bad as your shirts. The Donut Run can longer stay silent. We must talk openly and honestly about how this makes us feel and how this is hurting you. Here are 6 ways it is hurting you:

1. Isolation: No one wants to run with you. Even Kirk had to stop running with you and drop back with others to just “get away”. Or eat with you. Or hangout with you. Or even text you for fear the smell will somehow travel digitally.
2. Emotional Distress of Others: On Wednesday, every member of the pax was in tears after you joined us in the BOM for prayer. The stench literally brought tears to our eyes.
3. Spiritual Uncleanliness: Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Please clothe yourself in cleanliness and not stenchiness.
4. Marital Strife: No way your M can continue to stay with you like this. Vile smells is grounds for a biblical divorce.
5. Material Crumblings: The front seat of your car has been half eaten away by the massive smells. Pretty soon you will have to drive Fred Flintstone style.
6. Earthly Groans: The earth groans under the weight of the odor. What do you think the real cause of Harvey and Irma was??

I found this blog to offer some helpful solutions:

We do this because we love you. And also because Dunkin Donuts will not let us inside if you are within 500ft of us. Smell better for us. Smell better for the Donuts.

Take out through tears by BW

Donut Run Tapers

This week, we will run the reverse southern route (6 miles):

Rea (towards Old Providence Elementary)
R. on Candlewyck
R. on Providence
R. on Hwy 51 (Pineville/Matthews Rd.)
R. on Colony

If you are running the BRR and want to taper, then run the Jello Route (4.2 miles):

Rea (towards Old Providence Elementary)
R. on Candlewyck
L. on Providence
L. on Rea

I cannot make the run so someone needs some #ISI to be a #HIM and take a #redpill to #sheildlock and lead. Also, the BB better be amazing. Or I will just make stuff up.


An Incident at The Donut Run

It happens to most of us, if not all of us. Always when we least expect and we don’t know why. It is frustrating and hard to understand how something like this could ever happen. I remember the first time it happened to me. I was a young lad at the University of North Carolina walking through campus. And then, BAM! I’ll never forget that feeling. The eyes all staring at me, most of them chicks, good looking ones too. All pointing and giggling. I would have no shot with them now. After it happened, I remember thinking “what do I do now? Should I just get back up and keep walking? Should I go back to my dorm? Just lay here and hope they all go away?” Each person deals with it in their own way. Some turn to anger (why do you think Semi Gloss is angry). Some retreat inwardly never to be the same person again. Some even turn to drugs. “But this nuun will take the pain and suffering go away.” you’ll tell yourself. Also, “I just need a little more!” Maybe you’ll even end up taking the entire bottle all once in hopes that you can just end it. I know it hurts. I’ve been there. After it happened to me, I questioned my entire existence. Why would the good Lord let this happen to me? Does he really love me? Did someone record this on their phones and post it on the internets? Or maybe they’ll just AOL IM it to all their friends. Will I ever find someone who actually loves me for who am I in spite of this “incident”? Will everyone see me as “that guy”?

Well, I want Jello (aka Dance Mom) and Geraldo to know that it will be OK. Your life is not defined by this. At some point in our lives, we have all been there. We are running, with our head held high, thinking the world is ours and we don’t see that crack in the sidewalk. Its amazing that something so little could have such a big impact in our life. But it does. And I am proud of both you. You fell down, tumbling and rolling in agony and despair on the ground, but you picked yourself back up and continued to run! Yes, there were tears and there was pain and there was blood, but don’t ever stop running. You may find yourself in the coming weeks in a dark place, reliving this horrible tragedy over and over in your mind. Thinking no one else has ever struggled like you are. But those are lies the enemy puts in our head. Don’t believe them. We are here to help. Don’t turn to the nuun. It is a short term fix that will have long term implications. Come talk to me about the trip and fall in the spring of 2001. Come talk to Agony and his incident on the Davidson football field that would eventually lead him to the ministry. Come talk to Alf. Actually don’t talk to Alf, he is still living with his pain.

Jello and Geraldo, you are not alone.

Also, JRR Tolkein called me his boo. He doesn’t see me as “that guy”. There is hope for us all.

Donut Run Options

BRR is 1 week, 3 days away. It’s time to get serious about training. Clearly, this means eating more donuts #carboload.

Tomorrow, we will be running the Reverse North Route. There is also a Long John option on this route and a shorter Jello run. Here are the routes:

Reverse North Route (6.5 miles)
North on Colony
R on Carmel
R on Sharonview
R on Old Providence
R on Lancer
L on Providence Rd. West
R on Rea

Long John Option (7.83 miles)
North on Colony
R on Sharonview (DO NOT turn on Carmel, stay straight and Colony hits Sharonview)
R on Old Providence
R on Lancer
L on Providence Rd. West
R on Rea

Jello Option (4.52 miles)
North on Colony
R on Carmel
R on Camilla (first R)
R on Morrowick
L on Colony

Start times range from 5:05 to 5:20 depending on pace and distance. Use your math skillz to find the best start time.


Donut Run Math

16 did a run for Donuts and here is what we did:




6.7% of the group did Merkins and LBCs
40% of the group left before COT #wtf
13.4% of the group ran the long john north route
6.7% of the group violated the clothing and decency policy of all American and Religious laws

Kirk decided to relive the SOFAWIB glory days by actually doing a wib workout from back in the day. He ran straight to Old Providence West and did merkins and LBCs at every side street until Lancer. Some people just can’t move on. Also, thanks for waiting for me while I made a pit stop.

Hopper, Baracus, Beaker, Swiper, Agony, and 1 unnamed pax left before COT. Good to see you guys and thanks for failing at 2nd F.

JRR Tolkein and Turkey Leg ran the North Long John route. Putting in a solid 7.8 miles this morning. No sign of the #SpeedForNeed chairs though. Still disappointed they haven’t made an appearance at Donut Run #emojicryingface.

I’m pretty sure Semi Gloss has successfully killed Dunkin Donut’s business on Wednesday mornings. Most cars that pulled into the parking lot for some delicious coffee and donuts promptly exited the lot and will never be able to get the mental image of shirtless Semi in only a towel. #proudofyou

Tolkein tried to recruit a former F3’er after the run. Guy’s name is Fraggle. Even gave him a business card! But alas, Semi was standing there and I’m sure the guy was totally offended.

Tolkein with the closing prayer.