Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
On Friday, February 9th, at approximately 7:48 am , Madison put out an all-points bulletin letting the unit know that due to last minute “biological issues” the Q for next day’s AO would be unavailable and a replacement Q was in need. YHC, with his own case of Jello-arms, reluctantly volunteered to lead the PAX into the gloom. However, YHC’s activities of that evening would prevent him from writing up a well thought out and executable weinke.
This is the gloom. It sucks and I’m Q
YHC woke up this morning with no written weinke and debated whether or not to show up to his own Q. Not to pull a Madison on Madison’s own site, YHC decided (reluctantly) to show up. What you are about to see is the depraved mind of one, Q, who decided to wing it,
YHC arrived with 3 minutes to spare with Dr. Thunder warming up and Arsenal, per usual, hiding in his vehicle (maybe he too foresaw the events of the day shaping up and was debating whether or not it was worth it. Shortly after, the rest of the PAX arrived. At 7am YHC announced the start of the workout by announcing a Mosey. Up the sidewalk we ran. In the middle we switched to Kareoke right, then left, then a backwards Mosey before finishing the Mosey down towards the bus lot and into the middle of the parking lot.
SSH x 20 IC
Imperial Walkers x 20 IC
Windmills x 10 IC
LSS x 20 IC
Mountain Climbers x 15 IC
Mosey towards the tennis courts. We stopped on the small access road going towards the side of the school to begin a set of exercises commonly referred to as The Thang
Deconstructed Burpee Countdown.
This consisted of breaking the burpee up into 4 exercises and doing 10 reps of each and then counting each set down to 1. However, it appeared to miscommunicated to some of the PAX that there were actually 4 components to this workout and the beginning set of 10 may have not been done completely said PAX.
Mosey to the hill next to the tennis courts
Burpback Mountain. Split into partners. Partner 1 does burpees at the bottom of the hill while partner two runs backwards up the hill and forwards down 5 times. The partners then switch. This continues until the cumulative number of burpees amongst the PAX reaches 100. Smokey made an off-hand remark about the unfortunate naming convention of this workout. Little did he know what other unfortunately named exercises await.
Mosey back to the parking lot for Pain Stations.
The parking lot was divided into 4 quadrants or stations. At the first station, 20 merkins. At the second station, 25 CDDs. At the third station 35 LBCs.
At this point, YHC’s audible ran into a road block causing a few grumbles of how well planned this Q really was. Bonhoeffer suggested monkey humpers for this station and so we had 40 monkey humpers.
Dr. Thunder asked for a demonstration of this at this point. To which Smokey had to provide several disclaimers, and much to his dismay demonstrate the workout. A catch was thrown into this in that before you could advance to the next station, you had to make a lap around the parking lot first and then proceed.
At the beginning of this ordeal, YHC, had ripped a hole in both pairs of shoes causing his soles to protrude out. In stopping to adjust for this inconvenience, Bonhoeffer exclaimed that I was now soleless and the workout had become so.
Line up against the wall for People’s Air Presses
1 set x 50 civilian count
2 set x 100 civilian count
at the end of each set, balls to the wall was done with a 10 count from both Smokey and Arsenal. The credit for this portion of the audible was granted to Lumberjack.
To the covered lunch area we went only to find a special guest was awaiting…Jack Webb..,no need to explain
The Moleskin will be summed by Smokey’s FB post after the workout: “I am going forward tomorrow after church for prayer…I am also praying with some rosary beads currently and contemplating finding a confessional booth with a priest (and I am not even Catholic)”
As always it was an honor to lead the PAX this morning. Thank you, as always for the opportunity
CPR Training. The deadline to sign up is Tomorrow!! It will happen next Saturday 02/17 at 9am Not sure on the location, see Madison. Sign up sheet is on FB page and the registration fee is $35. This is a good opportunity to get CPR trained and it is coming at a steep discount. (Usually runs for $100)
Madison will have his redemption Q (baring any alarm clock fat thumb malfunctioning) this Tuesday at Thrive
Conviction will be closing down this Wednesday for a Mid-Week convergence with F3 Mint Hill at Pain Academy (Bain Elementary School). Lets show some support for our F3 Mint Hill brothers as they showed us when they came to Conviction a month ago.
YHC had promised the day before that he was going to do the following:
His audience however, was a hard sell to convince for all 3 and on number 3 it became apparent that the goal of this workout was to “be safe and go home” And here we…go
YHC arrived, much to the surprise of all. Goal number 1 achieved At 30 seconds past 7, YHC yelled out Mosey and the work out began. Mosey up the side walk, Kareoke once at the top, though YHC’s words were not conveyed effectively, E-harmony seemed to chime in to finish the sentence (right). Once the middle of the side walk was reached, backwards mosey down the hill.
SSH x 15 IC
Imperial Walkers x 15 IC
5 Burpees OYO
Mountain Climbers x 15 IC
Grab a bell and circle up. Do 20 of called exercise and pass the bell to your right. Continue to do 20 of said of exercise until your bell has made it around to you. As there were 14 participants, we only had time for 1 round. 20 Curls it is. Apparently there was a lot of moaning and groaning about having too many reps. Also there was some questionable questioning about YHC’s form. YHC therefore stopped the revolution halfway.
5 Burpees OYO for questioning Q’s form. (Because only North Korean style authority will do when YHC is on Q)
6 Stations-1 Timer
Some background. YHC had politely asked Hairband to retrieve his body..I mean sand bags for this very purpose. Too bad someone did not receive said message until 5am and found his garage too cluttered to retrieve said bags (or maybe they were in actual use after one too many short jokes)
Station 1- People’s Shoulder Presses Against The Wall AMRAP
Station 2- Mini Hair Burners AMRAP
Station 3- Tricep Extensions AMRAP
Station 4: KB Swings AMRAP
Station 5: Lawn Mowers AMRAP
Station 6: Clean and Press AMRAP
Timer- Farmer’s Carry to the end of the parking lot and back
Now, YHC assumed that since there were 14 PAX, this would all be done in some sort or order going from back to front. However, YHC’s lack of words (maybe I should have also added in the disclaimer that I am not an English major) led to multiple people doing the same exercise on any given turn with Sticky Note and E-Harmony double up on the shoulder presses and no one doing the KB swings at any given point. Also, the token state and duke fans (shall not be named) apparently stopped along the way during the first farmer’s carry to chit chat about life and took 5 minutes to return.,.But I digress
People’s Shoulder Presses Against The Wall x 50 Civilian Count. (YHC again called out for not being able to complete said task, though YHC only accidentally dropped his KB. YHC decided to spare the PAX any burpees at this point, because the next exercise was…)
7’S on the hill- Starting with 6 flutter presses at the bottom of the hill, and then 1 burpee at the top
Big shout out to Madison. For while, he did not show up to said workout, his fartsacking of his own Q (due to “technological alarm clock difficulties”) provided some cover for YHC and appears to have lowered the bar some of what is required to Q (apparently just showing up is good enough now)
Bernanke was blabbering on about how the repeated arm curls might “hurt someone”, though what would you expect when your own workouts include strolls in the park and Glass Joe Merkins, that when actually required to lift something heavy, it will hurt. Imagine that!
Glass Joe continuing to show everyone that the lord has apparently cursed some long-legged persons with bad form all around.
Playoffs-Kotters! Welcome back to the gloom!
It was an absolute honor to lead you all this morning PAX. It is absolutely a testament to F3 that you all show up day in and day out to embrace the gloom and the suck to the fullest. Thank you for the opportunity as always.
Sign Up for CPR classes. Deadline to signup is 02/11. $35 registration fee Class is on 02/17 starting at 9AM. See Madison for location This is a really good deal as it would usually cost $100 to take this kind of course regularly and it is good to be trained in CPR especially when in the gloom
Madison will have his redemption Q at Thrive this Tuesday, make sure your alarm clocks are set to AM and not PM.
Conviction will close down this Wednesday for mid-week convergence with F3 Mint Hill at Pain Academy. Lets show some support for our F3 Mint Hill brothers as they showed up en masse last month at Conviction.
As YHC arrived at the AO 10 minutes before the workout began, he found the parking lot empty. YHC thought, could it be that:
1. YHC has beaten everyone else to the workout? NO WAY!
2. That YHC might be the only one to show up?
Surely, with today being a normal workday, the PAX would treat it as such…
YHC’s illusions of a one man AO were soon thwarted as Woody and then Hairband showed up in short succession.
5:30 arrived and soon 3 PAX took off on a light mosey around the parking lot
As the 3 made it to the front of the school, another vehicle arrived, a minivan. Considering it was not a school day, I found it odd that a parent would be this absent minded, oh wait that’s not a parent of a Stallings kid, it was another PAX
Leg Stretches ( Right, Center, Left)
Arm Stretches (Each Arm, 10 count)
Sun Gods (10 forward, 10 Back)
15 x Windmills IC
Oh look it’s Radar
15 x SSH IC
15 x Imperial Walkers IC
Since we had a late arrival, the penalty would be 5 burpees but this being a moderate AO, we tried something different:
5 x Squat Complex OYO (Squat down come up, squat again slowly sprawl out and do a push up,come up)
Mosey to the playground
Running Plus Stations. 3 Stations
Station 1: Alabama Ass Kickers On Swings
Station 2 : Step Ups On Tables
Station 3: Supine Pull Ups
Timer: PAX That Runs AYG to front of the lot and back and then to side and back After all 4 pax have finished, Stations change
Station 1: Inverted Rows On Swings
Station 2: Dips On Tables
Station 3: Decline Merkins
Timer remains the same
Jack Webb count to 8 in grass area next to playground
Line up against the wall
People’s chair, people’s arm raises x 50
Grumble chatter about arms not being able to drive after this getting louder by the minute
Balls to the wall 15 count
People’s Chair, people’s arm raises x 100
Balls to the wall, 15 count
Mosey to the front of the lot
Deconstructed Burpees countdown from 7
However by the time the PAX got down to 5, it appeared we were all out of gas and, apparently time.
Quick Mosey to parking lot for quick 2 minute Mary
Lamont on Q @ Overdrive on Friday
Thursday AO @ Socrates is closed , plenty of turkey trots in A51 and a football game @ Elon Park with SOB
Madison on Q @ Outland
Glass Joe? @ ShutesPond (Monroe)
I am thankful, on this holiday for F3 and having the opportunity to come out of into the gloom with other PAX and workout and share in the pain. I also honored to lead when the opportunity is had. Good effort out by everyone who showed up. Kotters to Woody who showed up and fought through his recovering foot injury. May everyone have a happy thanksgiving and I look forward to start again next week,finishing the year off in the gloom
YHC awoke this morning to a very needy and angry dog wanting to go outside and do his business. That made YHC angry and looking to bring that energy to the gloom. YHC wrote up several possible scenarios for a workout with several different options. Once arrived onsite, surveyed the PAX coming off their pre-run, the layout of the park, and after hearing first hand account of the lack of word use at Overdrive by those who will remain nameless, YHC made his final adjustments. It went something like this:
Mosey from the parking lots, around the paved concrete walkway, through the gravel, to what Hoffa mistaken-ed for an out house.
Disclaimer in which Hoffa still threatened a possible lawsuit just because
15 x SSH IC
5 Burpees OYO
15 x Imperial Walkers 5 Burpees OYO
15 x Hillbillies
5 Burpees OYO
Mosey continued around the gravel path toward the playground
On the way, random stop, 5 burpees. This appeared not to be enough for Hoffa and he lodge a verbal complaint so…10 burpees much to the delight of the rest of the pax
Continue to mosey towards the playground, random stop again, 5 burpees
Continue to mosey, arrive at the playground
Station 1: Playground Equipment
15 Supine Pull-Ups
20 Alabama Ass Kickers On The Swings
25 Table Lifts
Sprint to the bleachers, run up, around, and back down the bleachers, run to the covered picnic area where…You guessed it, 5 burpees
Station 2: Picnic Tables
20 Step Ups (Each Leg
25 Abyss Merkins (had to be modified for most due to height restrictions and width between tables)
30 Box Jumps
Run AYG up the hill to the flag pole
Station 3: Top of the hill
25 Bobby Hurleys
30 Monkey Humpers
Run to the bottom of the hill
Station 4: Bottom of the hill
30 Heels To Heaven
35 Freddy Mercury
At this point Radar showed up, Hoffa thought he was an FNG and was trying to find a way to scare him off
Sprint back to the playground for…you guessed it, 10 burpees
Rinse and Repeat
Deconstructed Burpee Countdown from 10 to 1, Hoffa questioned the validity of the workout and almost brought YHC to throw in an additional 5 burpee penalty on the countdown but we were running out of time
Bataan Death March or Burpees Catch Me If You Can Indian Run from the bottom of the hill across the field, up to the road and back down through the entrance. Hoffa tried to cheat and sprinted way ahead of the PAX when Glass Joe who was second to last was doing his Burpees. Found Hoffa doing Burpees at the bottom of the entrance. However, for the shennanigans, and with their being one minute left, a 5 burpee penalty was incurred,
Pray for those who passed this week’s in the terrible car wreck at 601 and Sikes Mill Rd.
Pray for Nekot as he is still recovering from surgery. He still has another 4-5 weeks of recovery plus another 4-5 months of rehab
Bonhoeffer on Q at Thrive on Tuesday
YHC on Q at Conviction on Wednesday
F3 A51 Christmas Party is on Friday December 8th at the Matthews Downtown Seaboard from 5pm until Midnight $20 bucks a person, bring the M, Dress Code is “Snappy Casual” or “Festive”
At what seemed to be a short mosey from one end of the parking lot to the other, soon the PAX would discover that it was to be naught.
15 SSH IC
5 Burpees OYO
15 Imperial Walkers IC
15 Hillbillies IC
Continue the mosey up the hill, past the farmers market and across the street to Don Griffin Park. Stop on the other side of baseball field.
Partner 1 Runs backward up the hill and forward down 5x
Partner 2 Does Burpees at the bottom
Switch, Rinse and repeat until cumulative burpees reach 100. Since the geezers…I mean double respects teamed up together, it left Shepherd, I and Kiefer as odd men out.
Mosey over to the steeper hill… or the cliff if you want to be dramatic.
One leg lunge forward, one squat, other leg lunge forward, another squat until the top of the hill is reached. This soon became a botched attempt as we had to bear crawl when the “cliff” turned into an actual cliff.
Once at the top of the hill, mosey back to Belk Tonawanda, specifically to the steep hill behind the bleachers
Partner up again. Seemed only fitting that we ended up with the same partners again.
Partner 1 run up the hill and back down.
Partner 2 do choice exercises.
Switch, rinse repeat until the following have been completed
Just when you thought there couldn’t be anymore hill workouts, YHC threw in another two.
Run up the hill do 5x choice exercise, run to the bottom another 5x choice exercise. Rinse and repeat 5 times.
Round 1. 5 bombjacks at the top, 5 bobby hurleys at the bottom
At this point the M interrupts the Q with a phone call on the digital Weinke. Apparently wires were crossed and the memo did not get out about YHC Q’ing The pax continue
Round 2. 5 burpees (pax heard bobby hurleys) 5 bombjacks at the bottom
Round 3. 5 Clap Merkins at the top 5 burpees at the bottom
Round 4. 5 CDD;s at the top 5 clap merkins at the bottom
Round 5. 5 LSS’s at the top 5 CDD’s at the bottom
Pax run up and down the hills backwards repeatedly until the Q calls time.
I had almost completely forgot that I had even signed up to Q Thrive until I was reminded by the site Q By the way, site Q, what time does the 5:30 workout start? Anyway back to the story. I had planned out two workouts, both involving running. But at the request of Glass Joe, I didn’t want to end up boring anyone…and ended up boring everyone any way. With that said , to quote Heath Ledger’s Joker from Dark Knight, “and here we…go”
Mosey around the parking lot. I thought I had clearly said the word Mosey, but apparently I workout with such an old crowd that everyone needs a hearing aid. Karaoke. Turn the corner, apparently no one had their hearing aids turned on. Everyone circle up
Site Q arrives 2 minutes late. Then Hoffa arrives on his tricycle…I mean motorcycle and takes forever to get into gear.
5 Burpees OYO
15 SSH IC
5 Burpees OYO
20 Imperial Walkers IC
5 Burpees OYO
15 Hillbillies IC
Mosey to picnic tables. Apparently some people whose names rhyme with fake and snake need turn by turn instructions from Google of where we were going even though the destination was straight ahead. Then again no surprise there as said person also needs turn by turn instructions to back out of his driveway without hitting people.
Or Dora 1-2-3s
Partner 1 laps around the soccer field, partner 2 does exercises, switch once lap is completed.
Move to grassy area in front of bathrooms
6 Burpee Webbs
Against the wall
50 People’s Chair Air Presses
125 People’s Chair Air Presses
5 additional burpees for an apparent (and somewhat lazy attempt) by HB to Q Jack during Dora. In his defense, he gets compared to Dora a lot, so he could have been referring to that.
Another 5 because the Site Q stole my watch and didn’t reset the time and because Hoffa can’t find the third gear to kick his tricycle into
Besides the few glitches out there on Tuesday such as volume for hearing aids needing adjustment, hand holding, tardiness, and lazy attempts to Q Jack, it was an honor to lead this workout. I don’t know if I am getting better or worse at this but thank you for your patience and for the #mumblechatter