Author Archive Bonhoeffer

Tales of Zero Mumblechatter

14 PAX conquered the gloom: Lamont, Turnpike, Shepherd, Lumberjack, Unplugged, Arsenal, The Wall, Bernanke, Woody, Houdini, Christmas, and Bonhoeffer on Q (and eHarmony and Hairband running around with backpacks).

The Warmup

Started with a warmup lap around the volleyball courts to the courtyard with the bucket.

  1. Imperial Walkers X 21
  2. Windmills X 9
  3. Sprinter Stretches
  4. Calf Stretches
  5. Travoltas (From the LEXICON: In the normal right/left arm up plank position, raised arm is lowered and reaches as far as possible underneath and behind your body, and then back up. Think Stayin’ Alive in the side plank position. Extra credit for actually using a pointed finger.)
  6. 5 jump squats in honor of those who missed some of the warmup.

The Thang

  1. Run to the soccer field.
  2. Quarter Pounder (From the LEXICON: on a Football field or a large parking lot. Sprint to the 25 yards and Do 25 merkins, Run backwards to Goal And Sprint to the 50 and do 50 squats, Backwards to Goal Line sprint to the 75 and do 75 Mountain Climbers, Run backwards to the goal line and sprint to the hundred and do 100 SSH.)
  3. Mosey to hill at far end of soccer field.
  4. 7s > War Hammers (From the LEXICON: a combination of a World War II sit-up by adding four American Hammer reps at the top of the sit up) @ top of hill … lunges @ bottom of hill
  5. Mosey to intersection at far end of site while doing thunderclaps.
  6. 30 calf raises on the curb.
  7. 5 jump squats.
  8. Webbicide > suicides to each light pole, 1 mercken at 1st light pole, add another mercken at each light pole. (We didn’t get to finish all the light poles because of time.)
  9. Mosey to launch.
  10. Mary > Zebra Butt Kicks (From the LEXICON: Ever seen a zebra launch another savannah beast in the sky? If so, it was with that butt kick that they do so perfectly. Virtually no exercises wear out our gluten in F3. The zebra kick is gluteus maximus. From plank, bend that knee to 90 and kick skyward. High reps, imagine your heel busting up the chops of some lioness.), Boxcutters, Protractor.
  11. El fin.


In Glass Joe’s absence, the PAX all took a secret oath to stay completely silent the whole time and not mumblechatter.

Lumberjack said he wished their were Dice.

The backpack boys said the Q isn’t allowed to assign their exercises because Dora put Boots and Swiper the Fox in charge of their schedule.

YHC enjoyed much internal chuckling when he did a normal count voice on the 20th Zebra Kick and many PAX let out a simultaneous Zebra groan.

El fin.


  1. Lumberjack said he would’ve stepped up to Q, but he didn’t want to.

Gloom Bandits

4 PAX conquered the gloom: Lamont, Turnpike, Shepherd, and Bonhoeffer on Q.

The Warmup

Started with 31 sidestraddle hops. Warmup run around the front parking lot, stopping every so often to do …

  1. Mountain Climbers X 21
  2. Windmills X 20
  3. Hillbillies X15
  4. Merckens X 10

The Thang

  1. Run to the hill to the left of school entrance over by lake.
  2. 11s – burpie bottoms at top of hill, squats at bottom.
  3. Ran rockpile back between SVES and Shiloh.
  4. Grabbed a large rock. 20 curls … chest presses … skullcrushers … (note for next time: have the PAX grab 2 smaller rocks they can hold in each hand instead of one larger rock)
  5. Ran through back parking lot to Shiloh’s track.
  6. 4 Clock Hands – 3-6-9-12. 20 reps at each spot on track. Merckens, back rows, lunges, American Hammers.
  7. Run toward school entrance. Stop at brick wall.
  8. Wall sits. 30 … burpie bottoms, LBCs, total burns. 60 LBCs.
  9. Mosey to launch.
  10. Mary > Dying Cockroaches,Freddy Mercuries, Boxcutters, Pacmans, American Hammers.
  11. El fin.


Some dainty feet got a smidgen of wetness, and there was much mumblechatter.

The mumblechatter got real quiet for the rest of the time though. Not sure what happened. Maybe it’s cause everybody was tired. Thunderclaps for beating the fartsack then!

The weather was fantastic. Ground was dry.

El fin.


  1. None

Dips Facing the Sun

7 PAX toured the rarely visited east end of the site: Smokey, Lumberjack, Fuse Box, Chastain, Arsenal, Bonhoeffer, and welcome FNG Polo (Brandon Hunt).

The Warmup

Warmup run to the flux capacitor sidewalks by the tennis courts.

  1. Sidestraddle Hop X 29
  2. Sumo Squats X 23
  3. Arm Circles X15 forward/backward
  4. Merckens X 10

The Thang

  1. Run to the painted rock at SVHS.
  2. Partner work … one partner does sliding squats against the rock (Smokey really wanted this called “Rubbing the Rock” … I’m not sure why) while the other partner rolled the Fun Dice for an exercise.
  3. Ran to front of SVHS … stopped at each pole to do 5 merckens.
  4. Partner work … Ran a 1/2 lap around front parking lot while partner rolled Fun Dice
  5. Ran through back parking lot to stadium bleachers. Partner work … stair climbs while partner rolled Fun Dice
  6. Raced the back Rainbow Road (Mario Cart style). We stopped at “every pole” to do a crazy awesome new workout Bonhoeffer invented. See, he’d been hearing laments about the lack of back workouts, so he’d been pondering ways to create a mobile back workout. Now officially called “Galleys” after all those guys in the hull of the boat rowing, all PAX line up side to side, every other PAX standing up and lying on back between. Then the PAX on the ground do pullup rows while the two PAX on either side of him grip his hands to keep him off the ground. To rotate, simply move down the line toward the sun.
  7. Run to the small track behind SVMS.
  8. Partner work … run a lap while partner rolled Fun Dice.
  9. Run to awnings. 30 stepups, 30 merckens, 30 dips, roll the Fun Dice.
  10. Jailbreak to launch.
  11. Mary > Freddy Mercuries, Boxcutters, Pacmans, American Hammers (lots of PAX mumblechattering about the 30 seconds they thought the Q was going over.)
  12. El fin.


FNG Polo crushed it for his first time out. Well done, Sir! You against you, and you won!

Smokey and Chastain led the constant mumblechatter over what the name of this backblast should be. Finalists were “Rubbing the Rock,” “Dips Facing the Sun,” and “His Wienke Is on Vibrate.”

Smokey is still working to understand what “modify as needed” means. I think he really just wants to Q some more workouts because he changes everything the Q plans and does his own thang. Sign him up, Chastain!

Some PAX seem very self-conscious about their manhood and feel uncomfortable rubbing their backs against a painted rock to do low squats. Note to self: Plan more rubbing of things for Smokey.

El fin.


  1. We forgot to ask for announcements. #NotaProfessional

The Flapping Dozen

12 PAX rejected the fartsack on a frozen spring morning at Thrive at Carolina Courts: Hoffa, eHarmony, Thurston, Hairband, Shepherd, Glass Joe, Nomad, Gypsy, Arsenal, Bullwinkle, Bonhoeffer

The Warmup

Warmup lap around lot.

  1. Sidestraddle Hop X 20
  2. Hillbillies X 20
  3. Windmills X 10
  4. Mountain Climbers X 20

The Thang

  1. 20 calf raises
  2. Jog to Town Hall
  3. 20 side lunges
  4. Town Hall Circle > 3-6-9-12 Clock: 20 lunges > 20 American Hammers > 20 Bomb Jacks > 20 LBCs … each station at 1/4 of the clock.
  5. 15 merckens
  6. Jog to South Road
  7. South Road > Sprint to each island + sidestraddle hops till everyone arrives + repeato to end > On the way back, run backward to each island + American Hammers till everyone arrives + repeato to end
  8. Chain-link fence by picnic tables > Pure Burn: Facing the fence, start in 3/4 squat position and pulse down to 1/2 squat position (90 degrees) and back to 3/4 squat X 20 … 2 repeatos > 20 calf raises > repeato 3 rounds
  9. Lap around parking lot
  10. Return to launch.
  11. Mary > protractor + dolly + dying cockroaches + freddy mercuries
  12. El fin.


We were warned that lots of animals had used the field the day before, so there might have been minefields left for us.

Some of us have water on the eardrum and can’t balance to do calf raises. *clears throat* Gypsy!

Hairband kept trying to go all improv hair-metal style with his workout instructions.

El fin.


  1. Collecting supplies for Donut Hole & his unit
  2. Opening Lexington, KY AO if you want to go with Gypsy @F3gypsyfit (or something like that)
  3. Conviction is still on Wednesday but moving to Shiloh Elementary, regular boot camp
  4. sign up to Q at Thrive, Christmas on 5/15

Page 17 Frozen Fun on the 17th

6 PAX refused to fartsack on a frozen spring morning at Thrive at Carolina Courts: Bernanke, Thurston, Hoffa, Glass Joe, Shepherd, Bonhoeffer

The Warmup

34 sidestraddle hops to kick things off. Took a lap around the parking lot doing 34 sidestraddle hops at each parking median (34=17 x 2).

  1. Windmill X 10
  2. Prisoner Squats X 17
  3. Reverse LBCs X 17
  4. Smurf Jacks X 17

The Thang (all workouts taken from page 17 of the Lexicon because it’s the 17th)

  1. Hill by the road > Quadraphilia: Set the timer for 3 minutes and run forward down the hill and run backwards up the hill repeato until the timer runs out.
  2. Chain link fence by the road > Pure Burn: Facing the fence, start in 3/4 squat position and pulse down to 1/2 squat position (90 degrees) and back to 3/4 squat X 34 … 2 repeatos
  3. Frozen soccer field > Quarter Pounder: Start at goal line. Run 25 yards and do 25 smurf jacks, back to goal line … 50 yards + 50 punch-up merckens … 75 yards + 75 prisoner squats … 100 yards + 100 reverse LBCs … plank till 6 is done
  4. South Road > Railroad Tracks: (modified so we’re not jumping over each other … stupid idea whoever invented Railroad Tracks) First pax drops to low plank, second pax weaves around first pax runs 5 yards and gets in low plank. Third pax weaves through both pax runs 5 yards and gets in low plank. After all pax have gone, the first pax weaves through all the pax and returns to low plank. Continue till end of road.
  5. Pylons by picnic tables > Pure Burn + people’s chair x 50 + bear crawl to circle + 15 smurf jacks + bear crawl back to pylons
  6. Return to launch.
  7. Mary > windmill + protractor
  8. El fin.


Apparently, spring means it can still be freezing cold, and apparently, that means lots of PAX enjoy breathing in their own fartsacks.

It became apparent that Page 17 of the Lexicon gives too many PAX prison flashbacks.

Glass Joe was in rare quiet form. Except when he was complaining about forgetting his long-sleeve shirt. #Irony #SomePeopleAren’tVerySmart

Shepherd confessed that he purposefully avoids Qing workouts, but he’s going to make it up by doing one a month for the rest of 2018.

El fin.


  1. Keep Glass Joe’s father(-in-law?) in prayer over his successful cancer surgery.

Red Sky in Morning, Ignore the Warning

The red sunrise warned us sailors to take warning, but 8 PAX still went & got their sails kicked at #F3OutlandEE, Shepherd, Bernanke, Hairband, Christmas, Smokey, Lumberjack, Bonhoeffer.

The Warmup

Mosey around building back to front parking lot – stretch

  1. sidestraddle hops X 24
  2. imperial walkers X 24
  3. slowslow windmill X 10
  4. squat sits X 10

The Thang

  1. run to hill behind tennis courts
  2. @ hill find a partners (BOTTOM OF HILL REAL WET)
    > 2 X each for each partner > Hill + 30 hillbillies (at the hill … get it?) > Hill + 30 backscratchers
    > 2 X each for each partner > Hill + 30 squats > Hill + 30 American hammers
  3. run around tennis courts & back to wall by stairs
  4. @ wall (partners)
    > 50 overhead presses during dying cockroaches … flapjack
    > 75 overhead presses during dying cockroaches … flapjack
    > 100 overhead presses during dying cockroaches … flapjack
  5. run to small track
    @ small track (partners)
    > Rnd 1 partners – 100 mrckns total while partner runs width of track … flapjack till done
    > Rnd 2 partners – 150 squats total while partner runs width of track … flapjack till done
    > Rnd 3 partners – 300 sidestraddle hops total while partner runs width of track … flapjack till done
  6. run to buses > complete cycle 3 X
    > Cheese weave
    > 30 one-legged squats @ a pole (15 each leg)
    > 30 American hammers
    > 30 shoulder taps
  7. run to front parking lot for Mary
  8. El fin.
  9. Circle of Trust quote – “Make your future plans so long and so hard that the people who praise you will always seem to you to be talking about something very trivial in comparison with what you are really trying to do. It is better to have a job too big for popular praise, so big that you can get a good start on it before the cheer squad can get its first intelligent glimmering of your plans. Then you will be free to work and continue your journey towards even greater success.” ~Henry Ford


YHC tried to offer some pre-workout inspiration from Henry Ford, but the guys didn’t have time to go back to their cars for their brains. #TooEarly

Someone made a failed argument that flapjack and flipflop are different things. California natives know their flipflops, aight?

To everyone who pretended YHC’s instructions were unclear at every stage, I handwrote you all thank you cards. Check your mailbox every morning for the next 407 days to make sure you get them.


El fin.


  1. Lumberjack is hosting a cancer fundraiser because he’s climbing Mount Everest … he promised a killer F3 pic. Here’s how to donate.

Dirty Dozen for an “Easy” Workout

13 PAX got an easy workout at Thrive at Carolina Courts: Shake N Bake, Bernanke, Thurston, Bullwinkle, Hairband, Lamont, Hoffa, Glass Joe, Shepherd, Lumberjack, Espresso, E-Harmony, Bonhoeffer

The Warmup

Took a lap around the gym counterclockwise to get the uphill.

  1. sidestraddle hops X 21
  2. Imperial walkers X 21
  3. slow windmills X 10
  4. squats X 21

The Thang

  1. Front parking lot > Starfish: 5 squat pushups in middle each time … Mountain Climbers X 15 … Dry Docks X 15 … LBCs X 21 … Imperial Walkers X 15
  2. 15 American Hammers
  3. Mosey to track > 15 jump squats at 3 & 9 o’clock … 15 lunges each leg (30) 6 & 12 0’clock
  4. Mosey to hill at north road > 10 X up and down the hill, once backwards, faster for last 3
  5. Mosey to Volleyball Courts > split into teams: 15 step-ups each leg (30 total) while partner does dips … 10 jump squats in sand while partner does merckens … repeato
  6. Return to launch.
  7. Mary > back scratchers, Freddy Mercuries, dying cockroaches, WWII situps, shoulder clap pushups, planks
  8. El fin.


With Bonhoeffer fresh off Q school, everyone’s high hopes were bound to be shattered.

Glass Joe didn’t wait to phewting mumblechatter while we ran so far around the gym. When we got back, we found Bullwinkle … “What time does the 0530 workout start?” … cue 5 Burpwinkles.

During stretching, a couple of hecklers who went to Bros, Brews, & Bibles on Sunday tried (successfully) to distract the Q with appropriate jokes about things you’ll have to attend B3 next time to be privy too.

We started with ye ole Starfish in the front parking lot. Since the Q doesn’t like how Burpies grind his spine, we did alternative burpies “squat pushups” in the center, 5 after each starfish leg. 4 corners were 15 X Mountain Climbers, Dry Docks, LBCs, & Imperial Walkers. We did 2 rounds.

21 American Hammers on your own. Lots of complaints about it not being time for Mary yet. After all, who wants nice abs anyway?

We moseyed to the modified “track” around the soccer field, had to run up to the sidewalk at the road and down the grass hill at the side.

  • 15 jump squats at 3 & 9 o’clock
  • 15 lunges each leg (30) 6 & 12 0’clock
  • Go back and get the 6 o’clock

To the north hill by the road. We kept it simple … no 7s … and JUST ran up and down the hill 10 X. Mixed it up with one backwards and the last 3 faster than before. Funny, no one complained about how easy this was. Also funny how many of us didn’t want to touch the fence and the sidewalk … apparent confusion about top and bottom (that’s what she said).

We moseyed back toward the volleyball courts, and Hairband thought he’d crack at the Q that they only went that way because he left his jacket. But E-Harmony knew the real truth.

At the volleyball courts, we split into partners (w/ one threesome) and did a double circuit of fun.

  • 15 step-ups each leg (30 total) while the other partner did endless dips … switch.  Then 10 jump squats in the sand (glad the threatening rain held off so we’d have dry sand) while partner does endless merckens … repeato … and of course, Q saved the sand till the end so we wouldn’t get blisters.
  • For all Glass Joe’s mumblechatter, he didn’t want to get his painted toenails dirty in the sand, so he stayed on the grass for super easy jump squats.

Back in the parking lot during Mary, we tried a mix to hit all our ab muscles >

  • back scratchers (obliques)
  • Freddy Mercuries (lower & obliques)
  • dying cockroaches (lower & obliques)
  • WWII situps (high abs)
  • shoulder clap pushups (all abs)
  • planks w/ arm raises (all abs)


El fin.


  1. Lumberjack is hosting a cancer fundraiser. Hit him up to find out how to donate. He’s even on Facebook now!

Q School @ Cuthbertson Middle

9 PAX got schooled today at Cuthbertson Middle School in the chilly wind, Q’d by Dasher at the front of the sleigh: Ole MacDonald, Posse, Bullwinkle, Bonhoeffer, Dasher, Maple Syrup, Recalculating, Radar, Foley

The Warmup

@ parking lot … every student leading aN exercise

  1. sidestraddle hops X 21
  2. Imperial walkers X 15
  3. mountain climbers X 21
  4. squats X 10
  5. merckens X 10

The Thang

  1. front of school … da dips … step-ups … merckens/derckens/inclines
  2. 7s at the HS stairs … jump squats & merckens
  3. Lots of training at the stations.
  4. Return to launch.
  5. McDonald’s Coffeeteria for walkthrough of packet and teaching.
  6. El fin.


After already having Q’d a number of times, it was great to officially get trained. Good job, Dasher, for leading with whoever the other guy was (Posse?)!

In front parking lot, lots of good stuff about not leaving PAX behind and taking charge.

Mosey to the benches at the front of the school where we did 25 dips that were really 50 on a 4-count. Tricky. Then 25 step-ups total, not each leg. Finished off with a triple of derckens, merckens, and incline merckens.

Teaching about planning activities for those PAX who lead the pack so they get a full workout.

Mosey a little further to the stairs where we rocked some 7s, starting with 1 jump squat at bottom and 6 merckens at top.

Teaching about helping the leaders modify with extra reps or doing 11s, starting at 4.

Radar finally joined us right before we moseyed back to the start.

Then we car-moseyed to Mickey D’s to skim through our packets and get teached some more good stuff about planning out workouts, posting backblasts. Posse said he wrote the instruction packet, but like any typical classroom, he “borrowed” it all from other places and compiled it together into a pretty legit training doc. Basically WiF3pedia.

A PAX from Huntersville walked past us and got connected with us after moving down from the North side.

El fin.


  1. Spaghetti dinner fundraiser on 3/3/18 to raise money for family with lost husband. At fire station in Waxhaw.
  2. Bros, Brews, & Bibles 3rd F on Sunday, 3/4/18, from 6-8pm @ Growler USA by the Sun Valley 14 movie theatre.

In circle of trust, we closed with an inspirational quote from some President Guy whose name I can’t remember. It was good though, about being the dude in the ring actually doing the thang instead of being the critic on the outside. *rah rah, yeah*