So let’s get the obvious out the way…losing hurts, but losing to Metro after bragging to them for a full year hurts even worse than when you were a kid and you got your twig n’ berries trapped in your zipper. If Area 51 are the working man’s Hillary Clinton, then the Metrolytes are most certainly the Donald Trump in the relationship…..and boy did they grab us by the pu$$y.
THE MOLESKINE
The weather was perfect (except for the 90mph winds)…. The 3 squads were looking great in their brand new Nike jerseys…. And SoCal was on time, so I knew it was going to be a special event! After a quick gathering to explain the very basic rules and format, we gave the tournament FNGs of The Fort the opportunity to pick their poison and decide which order of games they wanted to play. We were off….
First up, The Fort vs Metro.
The tempo from the first minute was set. Watching from the sidelines, it was very quickly evident that the standard of play was a notch (or three) above last year’s. Some new faces were on show, and these were game-changers for sure. After a couple of early goals, the game was tied at 1-1, but as the cream rises to the top, Metro ran away with a solid victory, rounded off with a fine goal from Knack, smashing home after what seemed like a 400m breakaway (not a typo…that field was huge!).
Next up, Metro vs Area 51.
This was, is, and always will be the grudge match. It was this love-hate relationship that stemmed the original idea of the Soccer-Arms Cup. Pride was very much at stake here, especially after last year’s trophy was settled only after a penalty shootout. A solid 22 PAX wandered out to the field, cracked their knuckles and the referee was on high-alert. Next thing I knew, we were 4-0 down before half-time (not a typo). WTF. This wasn’t in the script. A more evenly competitive second half meant the scoreline wasn’t quite as embarrassing, but still it was nice to have this one over and done with…tails between legs is an understatement.
The Consolation game, The Fort vs Area 51.
So, the result of the tournament was settled. Metro were taking the trophy home, but there was one last game to play. With the pressure off, this game probably produced some of the best free-flowing soccer of the day from both teams, with plenty of end-to-end attacking. Area 51, with their much larger squad able to use fresh legs more often, ultimately came out on top, with the scoreline not a true reflection of the close game. SlimFast rolling back the years with a midfield maestro performance.
On a serious note, huge Congrats to TML and his Metro squad. They came ready to play and made very light work of their opposition in both games with a couple of exceptional performances from the likes of Ringer and Mary Kate in particular. I guess those bi-weekly training sessions really paid off J Huge T-claps to FunHouse (and FreeBird on the day) for venturing East with their Fort boys and bringing exactly the right ‘never say die’ attitude. Goals of the day go to you guys, for Wrecking Ball’s free-kick, bettered only by DryZizou putting the icing on the cake of a brilliant team goal. Welcome aboard and we look forward to having you back next year.
On a more serious note, the event was not just for fun and giggles. Dollywood and his Charlotte Eagles staff (including Sweeney Todd who was out there) do an unbelievable job in terms of supporting local soccer at both the highest mens’ and womens’ playing level, as well as with 1000’s of our community’s youngsters, many of whom reside in some of the very poorest Charlotte neighborhoods. They are able to achieve this by bringing in strong role models to act as players and coaches for the late spring/summer months – part of the logistical headache that comes with this is finding host families who are willing to house them for a month or two. That’s where F3 comes in. If any of you would like to learn more about the idea of hosting next year, or know another family that might, then please do not hesitate to reach out to myself or Dollywood for more info….you’d be doing a wonderful thing for the Eagles, but from the success stories that were shared, it sounds like your own family will become closer also. Win-Win. P.S. Check this out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDLNKmckDCE
So, that’s it. Thank you to everyone who made the effort to take 3hrs out of their Saturday for this. This is a fantastic organization we are a part of, filled with the highest caliber of men you could ask to be surrounded by…and to see so many of us out there with the shared passion for helping others via the beautiful game is superb, something I’m very proud to be involved with….long may it continue. Just leave the short fuses at home next time….cheap shots after the play, two-foot tackles, throwing balls at people and red cards, all in a ‘friendly fundraiser’….classic!
I’m counting down the days already for next year’s revenge TML.
After personally having preferred my fart-sack for the past 3 weeks and not posted, it gave Dollywood immense pleasure to remind me that I had signed up a while ago to Q Death Valley this week. I even set my alarm for 5am the day before, simply to prove to myself that I could still get up at stupid o’clock. I failed the test (true story…long weekend). But lo and behold, I will not let PAX down, so when that annoying progressively louder chirp started this morning I was up and at ‘em.
I’ll be honest and say I didn’t spend much time planning, as I wasn’t expecting many attendees, with most of you lunatics heading off to BRR for what sounds like a truly horrific weekend. So I was pleasantly surprised to see 16 of us out there.
THE THANG
MOLEY
Here’s what we learned:
Thanks as always for showing up and reminding me that it’s ALWAYS well worth getting out of bed for F3. Long live the Queen.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
When I say “F”, you say “3”…….”F”, “3”, “F”, “3”.
What a day this turned out to be. After crying myself to sleep in the days running up to the game in fear of getting a severe a$$-spanking, it turns out I should never have doubted my fellow PAX.
When ESPN makes a show of the greatest sporting achievements in history, this will be right up there with the Miracle on Ice and how the NFL has somehow convinced the entire US population that it’s fun to watch. The soccer boys of F3 friggin’ tied the Charlotte Eagles!
Keep in mind, this is a team which currently sits comfortably atop of the South Atlantic Division of the PDL and went undefeated last year (one of the best leagues in the country!), and is composed of a number of players who literally won National Championships with their college last year, and the majority will have plans to turn full-time pro after college. There is NO WAY that a bunch of 30 & 40-somethings who work in banking/insurance/construction should touch these guys……but I guess that’s the power of comeraderie!
So, let’s get the excuses out the way….maybe their best players may have been in Georgia for an important game…..and they maybe didn’t play as hard as they could or should…..and they maybe thought the grass was too long….and they maybe thought the field was too small….and maybe we borrowed their reserve Goalkeeper….and maybe it was 100 degrees (Teddy’s warm up routine of literally just sitting the same spot for 25mins because it was too hot summed that one up). Blah blah blah, not one single iota of that matters. When you cross that white line, it’s game time, baby!
I’m not gonna lie, when Senor Chips rolled up without his boots, and had to wear his winkle-pickers for the start of the game, I was a little worried about what was about to happen, but the game started and try as they might the boys in (royal) blue could not break us down. Our tactics were simple. 10 of us work our clammy balls off chasing them around, then when we get it, hoof it up to Dollywood and let him do his thang against their 4-man defense. And what do you know, it worked….Coaching mastermind if you ask me!
Little did I know F3 had some true ballerz out there. The usual Busch, Grapejuice, and Mickey (even with his craft beer hangover) I knew were solid picks, along with recent FNG Brexit being a wrecking ball at the back, but the likes of Narc, Spang and Rest-stop who I’d not met yet were SUPERB. I think the Eagles were shocked too. And Sweeney Todd does enough selfless defensive running to count for 2 people, which is always a bonus.
So, to cut a long story short, we go 1-0 up (Dollywood) before having another disallowed moments later (Dollywood again, surprise surprise) – with the turncoat Bunny calling it offside…. We’re holding on, holding on, holding on, and then those slippery little buggers manage to score a beauty just before the end to make it 1-1. Full-time.
And this is where the reality of our achievement sunk in.
You see, the plan was that at the end of the game, we were going to combine teams and have a jolly old kickaround to celebrate the end of a fun day…you know shake hands, share smiles, try a fancy trick or two for giggles, entertain the crowd. Not a chance!! I wandered over to their bench to thank them and to hand out pinnies for the combo, and they made it pretty clear that they were not willing to end without a W under their belt – we had seriously ruffled some Eagle feathers (every pun intended). So on we went to Golden Goal – Sh1t had gotten real. The legendary Slimfast was throwing in tackles, Tubeless showing his touches of class, Kaiser and Probation (with one leg but sweet cleats!) were showing their experience to get us out of trouble on occasion, and Fletch was on a one-man mission to break the net. There’s only so long before youth and ability shines though, and on a breakaway late in the afternoon, their striker Tresor Mbuyu (2015 NCCAA DII National Championship Winner and Player of the Tournament by the way!!) tucked away a cool finish to save some blushes. Probably a fair result, with everyone leaving happy.
SO PROUD.
As we spoke about at the end though, the game was not just about playing some soccer, it was ultimately about F3 doing what it does, by showing leadership, setting examples, and offering ways to service others – one way we can do that is to help and promote the fantastic Eagles organization – so now we have a couple of action items to attend to:
November 1, from 6-8pm at Calvary Church.
A table sponsor is $450 – that allows 8 people to come – usually one guy buys the table bring his wife and 6 friends, or individually it’s $55 a plate. I want as many of us F3’ers there as possible, and spread the word in the gloom also please.
Let me know (HC only) if you would like a seat or perhaps group together for a full table – this is a great event for an even greater cause – I’ve seen first-hand the positive work these coaches do for the local youngsters – they are true gems of our community, but they need support!!
MASSIVE T-Claps to Dollywood, TML, Jake Berry, the YMCA and the entire Charlotte Eagles staff for all doing their bit towards making this happen.
Bodybag (607-483-0251)
P.S. Two words…URBAN EAGLES. Look it up.
P.P.S. November 1st, save the date.
I’ve never been one to check the weather ahead of time for anything really. From a young age growing up in England, you learn not to trust the weather-man anyway, so you might as well just wait and see. With that being said, I wish I had checked the forecast today, as I would have conveniently forgotten to set my alarm and I would have told Alf he may need a new Q. It was wretched.
Either way, my 4 alarms went off (usually only one, but when you’re Q’ing and bringing an FNG, AKA people rely on you, it’s better to be safe I suppose), and I strolled to my car in my short-sleeve shirt at 5:10am (too tired/lazy to head back into the house to grab a water-proof after I realized the weather was not on our side – https://youtu.be/1hZySbS2_Dw).
Matrix is about as Gloomy as the Gloom can get….something about the tight, dimly-lit parking lot with nothing but open blackness behind it as you peer into the presumably water-sodden fields. I was first to arrive and feared I may be doing the workout by myself, AKA going back home to bed. But I should have known not to question the PAX – of course those guys would show. That’s what F3ers do. Cars steadily made the turn onto the school property, and there was no heading back. It was particularly pleasing to see the FNG I had EH’d roll in, and give me that “what the hell have I signed up for” look from his driving seat.
THE THANG
Warm-up (or try to at least) with a gentle Mosey on down around the parking lot and then back to the entrance so we at least had some light shining on our wet miserable faces.
Partner up, 8 rounds of exercises:
Round 1: 15x Partner Dips, 50yd Partner Carry, 20x Partner Clap Merkins, 10x Partner Squat, 15x Partner Derkins, 10x Partner Leg Push-down, 20x Knees-to-chest, Scrum Down (it was at this point, I heard Alf whisper to the FNG, “it’s not normally like this” – I took it as a compliment). 100yd shuttle run at 90%
Round 2 thru 8: repeat removing one exercise randomly each time. Always finishing each round with 100yd shuttle run at 90%.
Circle up, tummy-tucking Mary workout to finish – 15 counts: Flutter, LBC, Freddie Mercury, Rosalita. Plank it out.
MOLESKINE
It takes a different level of PAX member to come out on a morning like this morning – especially with it being a Monday. I was pleasantly surprised with the turnout. The very first round of exercises led to OT taking a painful-looking tumble on the tarmac, but he made up for it by throwing me around like an ADHD-ridden Orca playing with a baby Seal during our Scrum-down.
Ultimately, there were 8 real men out there, getting their week off to the best possible start. Smiles n’all. Apologies for my lack of cadence etiquette, but between laying in a small pond while having Squid pretty much throw my legs against the gravel, and then having to squat Prohibition’s muscle mass, I knew counting out loud would become hard for me to do.
Huge T-Claps for the FNG Chris = ‘Bozo the Brown’. This morning was as ugly as it gets, and he pushed through it and lasted to the very end. Onwards and upwards, easy-pickings from here, mate.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
I’m not gonna lie, I can’t remember if we had any (don’t think we did) – my mind just wanted to get to the hot shower that awaited me in the hope of getting some feeling back into certain extremities. Thank you Alf for the mandatory Q appointment – looking forward to Madison’s next week.
Great send-off from Paper Jam. Always a pleasure working out with this crazy gang.