Author Archive Banjo

Patio was Baking at Clyent Dinner

It was really ass swamp producing HOT!

Warm up down the sidewalk with a Mosey and stopping for SSH, Al Gore/Moroccan Night Clubs, Mosey some more stop for Merkins, calf stretch, Wide Arm Merkins, Duggans, 6 inches, Warm Up Complete.

Mosey up to the traffic circle by the stadium and back to the rock pile.  Grab a rock:


Burpee then broad jump over rock x10, Al Gore/rock press x10, Lunges with rock over head x10

Same exercises all the way down to 2.

Mosey to traffic circle.  Up top complete 25 step ups and bottom circle 10 Merkin Shredders.  Each group completes top and bottom.

Mosey to stadium parking lot.  Up 2 lights for 10 Speed Skaters and back 1 for 10 Bobby Hurleys.

Mosey to school and find a wall for:

9-7-5-3-1 Mike Tysons, Big Boy Sit Ups and Donkey Kicks

Mosey back to COT and find some shade!


It was hotter than two rats scrompin in a wool sock!




Watch Out for Sammy No Shoulders

9 Men joined in for a few miles around an empty campus this morning.  The Ecoli in the water got school cancelled again and gave us some fresh non diesel fumes air to fill our lungs.  The fear of the beer virus must have kept quite a few in the sack this morning because it was much lower than normal turnout for Impromptu.  Last Q I had here we had the great blizzard of 2020 with a mere dusting that kept everyone away as well.  Beginning to think the Pax just don’t like a good old fashion Banjo Beatdown.  Anyways if you missed today you missed out on learning about Sammy No Shoulders(Snakes) and the Man in the grey Suit(Sharks).  Deadwood also told us what his wife said about all of his recent weight loss but this is not the place to discuss his weinke, it’s all about my weinke.  DICCS given and we’re off.

Warm-up run to the front of High School

SSHx15, Jimmy Dugan stretch, Merkins x 15, Calf stretch, Wide Arm Merkins, LSS, Diamond Merkins

That Thang:

Mosey to back stadium parking lot for 2 minutes on the clock for 20 Burpees.  Glad to see everyone pushed and accomplished the goal.

Line up for Indian Run, stay on the outside and all the way to Rudy’s Poop Palace.

Find a spot on the wall for 20 Donkey Kicks, Air Presses with Toe Raises, Jabs with Heel Raises

Grab a running rock, everyone grabs one, no sharing and passing germs amongst our rocks!  Here is where I proclaimed watch out for Sammy No Shoulders when searching for your rock. Which Zin responded with a “What in the hell is a Sammy No Shoulders”? My response was “Have you ever seen a snake with shoulders”?  With the rocks Mosey back to stadium parking lot traffic circles.  Drop the rocks in top traffic cirlcle, This exercise:  run to school picnic tables for 15 step ups, back to top traffic circle and run around the loop with rock above your head, then run to bottom traffic circle for 10 Merkin Shredders.  Complete 2 total rounds.

Mosey back with rocks and drop them off and head back to back of high school.  Time for 1 loop of 10 Carolina Dry Docks at bottom intersection, run to stairs and knock out 2 burpees, Bear Crawl from top of the stairs to wall for 5 Mike Tyson”s.  Love this little loop because you can finish off any body part that isn’t hurting.

Mosey back to COT with a stop for some dips, LSS and a nod to Recal with some Bobby Hurley’s.  That was our version of the NCAA tournament since we won’t get to see on this year.


All in all and great morning with good temps and a nice breeze.  I believe I heard we were a little over 3 miles in total.  I was really proud of this group pushing hard especially on the Indian Run.  Indian Runs are one of my favorite things to plan in a weinke because they are an opportunity for us to hold each other accountable.  Swarm also was around this morning but they couldn’t get on the track so I believe they went into the woods and played Hide-and-go-seek.


Convergence with Coffetteria tomorrow, everyone come to Cuthbertson after Homecoming, Commitment and Gladiator

Speed for Need is Cancelled

4-6 Five Stones for Celebration of Life for Marcus Wright, need people to help seat.


Burpees and More Burpees

23 Men came out this morning for some high mileage and way too many burpees.  I let Smithers(who is down like 30 freakin pounds btw) know that we would be heading off campus and to bring some headlamps.  I really enjoy the neighborhood next to Watchtower.  It has nice wide roads, gradual hills, good lighting and well designed for our purposes.  My partner in crime Zin Man was coming off a 4 day party in South Beach so we were kind of touch and go on the ride there with his stomach rumblings.


That Thang:

Warm up lap and circle up in front of the school.

SSHx15, LSS x10, Merkins x15, stretch the hammy’s and calves for Bobby, Wide arm Merkins, 6 inches Plank Jacks and the blood is flowing.

Let’s Mosey to the Neighborhood, stop for 5 Burpees on the way to let everyone catch up.

First Exercise: 1 Dry Dock on one side, 10 on the other side with 5 Burpees in between and top of the hill.  Next round 9 and 2 and Dry Dock count, the idea is to continue to 10-1 reps have been completed in opposite ends of where we started.  Transporter put this exercise on us at Swarm a couple of months ago and it has stuck with me as being awful!  However, we did Merkin Shredders at each end instead of Dry Docks.  It was really Bad!  We probably could have done 3 miles if we completed the rep scheme but it was time for some pull-ups.  Let’s Mosey back to school by first partnering up with one partner going one way and the other goes the other way around the loop to meet back up at intersection on the way out for 10 hand slap Merkins.

Next Exercise: at the playground partner up for Cindy(5 pull-ups, 10 Merkins, 15 squats), one partner does this while the other runs a lap around the track.  Each partner does 2 rounds of each.

Mosey to front of school to hit one burpee at every light pole on the way back to COT.  Done!


Everyone I thought pushed hard this morning.  We had perfect weather that I’m sure will change by tomorrow with our lovely weather here in the Queen City.  I believe everyone clocked in between 3.5-3.8 miles so great job to all.  Great Job to FNG Man Touch!  He really did cringe when we named him  so job well done to whoever came up with the name!  Big Congrats to 0-69, who’s down 29 pounds since he started posting.  Awesome Man, keep coming.


Mark this Moment for Father Daughter Dance.  March 6th at Ballantyne Hotel.

Gladiator this Saturday, Place yet to be determined.

Rooster marathon relay, Rock Hill sign up


Burpee Indian Run Was a Crowd Favorite

I had to give this backblast this title simply because of the overwhelming disdain everyone displayed when I said “alright boys, 2 lines for the burpee Indian Run.”  That title just barely won out over Ol’ Captain One Eye got stuck in Utah and abandoned his Q.  Anywho, 32 Men braved the 33 degrees outside this morning between Flash and Ignition and kicked butt.  I’ll admit I stole a few things Dasher did on Friday at the inaugural Swarm workout.  My goal was simply to keep everyone moving with the low temperatures outside.  NO Webbs that stop the flow and lower the heart rate!

Warm Up:

Mosey down the pass to Rudy’s Poop Palace, on the way butt kickers, high knees, karaoke and circle up:

SSH—-Audible let’s move up the road to get out of the bus driver’s way.

SSH x 15, LSS x10, Moroccan night clubs x10, Merkins x10, calf stretch, jimmy dugan stretch, 6″ Plank Jacks

That Thang:

Partner Up with P1 running to school and complete 20 dips and 20 step ups, P2 runs to lower traffic circle by stadium and bear crawls the entire circle.  Meet in the middle for 5 hand slap Merkins.  Complete 2 full rounds.

Mosey to bottom of hill by stadium for 2 light poles up on left at sprint/mile pace then 1 light back at recovery jog.  Make it to the top of the hill.  This got the heart rate up very quickly and I believe our FNG(Slow Pitch) spilled some merlot.

At the top of the hill, 2 Lines for Burpee Indian Run.  Lots of groaning and foul language commenced at this point.  Guy in the back does burpee then sprint to the front.  Run to the sidewalk below the stairs.

From there 10 Dry Docks at intersection, run to stairs 2 burpees before going up, lunge walk to wall and then 10 Mike Tysons.  Everyone got 1 round some started on round 2, time to get back to COT.


Great to see these big numbers on a nice chilly Monday.  NO excuses when we have so many options out there available to us.  Guys pushed hard this morning and I believe Flash out performed Ignition!  Big props to all those staying strong in the Dryuary, I know it’s not easy but stay the course.


Collect the toothpaste, tooth brushes for the F3 Guys

Folding guys needed this Saturday from 8-12ish.  See Dana for more details.


Prepping for Dryuary

Damascus texted yesterday morning just as I was really getting to the meat and potatoes of my heart felt apology to my beer fridge in the garage.  I was right in the middle of my “but the kids will come and store their juice boxes with you and maybe even their ice cream” when I looked down to see the text I need an emergency fill in.  Knowing Monday mornings are my kryptonite I decided to take the Gig to ensure my posting and keeping Zin from blaring his horn in my driveway at 5am.  I also need to kick start my Dryuary motivation into high gear because let’s be honest it’s going to be rough.  I think Clemson has a better chance of beating LSU in the Natty than me making it a month or DW has a better chance of not Qing in 2020 or Fuse has a better chance of doing a full burpee and not a Aussie burpee but nonetheless in the spirit of “what in the what did I just sign up for” let’s go do this thing!

8 guys joined me this morning for a mainly dry tour around the Wesley Chapel storefronts and into Wesley Oaks neighborhood.  It was a really fast group so we were able to cover ground pretty quickly and move from one station to the next.

That Thang:

Warm up: 20 SSH, 15 IW, 10 LSS, 20 Merkins and stretch

Mosey to Hickory Tavern for 50-40-30-20-10 Descending reps

50 Air Squats, 40 Walking Lunges, 30 Dips, 20 Merkins, 10 Burpees, When you finish elbow plank until everyone is done.

Mosey around HT and Brooklyn back to where we started for a TABATA Style 30 Seconds on, 10 seconds off, we alternated between Makhtar N’Diayes and Steps Ups, 2 rounds each.

Line up for Burpee Indian Run to Wesley Oaks!  This is always a brutal test especially when you have someone like Ice 9 that runs past the front guy by 50 yards in a full sprint.  I had the unfortunate role of of going behind him and it was awful.  Upon the call for recovery I couldn’t breathe and get out the next exercise.  Let’s do every light pole on the right and alternate 20 Bobby Hurley’s and 20 Speed Skaters, up to main entrance and back.

Mosey to Pets Mart for some Partner Work:  100 Donkey Kicks between partners.

Grab some wall for air presses and Jabs with heel raises and toe raises thrown in.

Mosey back to start for 3 minutes of Ab work and Done!



I was already really sore from a brutal Q on Saturday from Zin Man at Homecoming so this morning was tough to keep up with this group.  The descending rep scheme is something I wanted to try for awhile and it seemed to go over pretty well.  I always enjoy trying to throw something new into each Q, sometimes it works and other times it falls flatter than the beer in my fridge come February.  Props to Ice 9, that dude is a machine!  That Dude has one speed called Balls to the Wall!


Convergence tomorrow at Bushwood with Pushed back Holiday Start Time of 6:30

Convergence on Wednesday at Cuthbertson at 7am.

Dryuary starts the 1st.  Can’t Wait!



And the Pax just kept coming………

The longest part of this Backblast was watching the video and tagging everyone that came out this morning. It was really great to see 37 guys at our combined Ignition/Flash COT. There must have been some major eating getting done over Turkey Day to see such a great turnout this morning or maybe the Pax just needed a good old fashion Banjo beatdown.

As the Pax kept arriving and the numbers kept getting higher and higher I soon realized the Weinke would needed to be changed on the fly. DICCS given and it was time to lead this Mob.

Warm Up:

15x ssh, 10 LSS, stretch, 10 reg Merkins, calf stretch, 10 Wide arm Merkins, 10 6 inch Plank Jacks(blood was officially flowing)

That Thang:

Mosey back to parking lot. Tried a new type of circle back for the 6 this morning. Instead of jumping in and picking up wherever the 6 was at in the exercises and staying with him, simply run to him then back to the finish. Rinse and repeat until 6 is completely finished. Idea was that the Gazelles could get the miles in and you don’t have 30 guys on top of the 6 causing too much of a log jam and this seemed to keep everyone moving at their own pace.

Every light pole alternate 10 merkins, then 10 Bobby Hurley’s all the way to Rudy’s Fecal Fort. Grab some wall for air presses x20 and 10 Mike Tysons.

Mosey to top traffic circle by stadium, lunge walk the circle until the 6 is in. Partner up and complete 5 burpees up top, 10 Dry Docks at bottom with 5 hand slap Merkins when you meet up. Complete 2 rounds.

Mosey back towards steps at complete 5 big boy sit-ups at intersection, run to steps and complete 2 burpees before going up, bear crawl to wall, then 5 Mike Tyson’s. Rinse and Repeat 2 times before Moseying back to Rudy’s Poop Palace. On the way back every other light for 5 Burpees. Merry with some ab work and Done!


Bread Bowl broke wind, then he had to go for real, Zin had to help him get cleaned up, they were both late for COT. Just wanted to see if anyone is still reading at this point.

Announcements: Effies this Saturday, Crest of the Briars come get your feelings hurt.

14th is Zin Man’s Beer exchange, downtown cleanup that morning.

Damn that Burpee Train

17 Men joined me for a tour of the mean streets of Waxhaw in a balmy 37 degrees this morning. Had to cut the weinke a little short this morning because of that long nasty train. We got some good miles in and hit a couple local famous hills along the way.

That Thang:

Mosey around our 4 Corners block and head down Kim Jong Hill to the Animal Hospital.

15 SSH, 10 Merkins, stretch, more merkis and 6 inch jack webs

Blood was now flowing so let’s head back up Kim Jong Hill to the four corners: 1st lap 5 burpees every corner, 2nd lap 5 Big Boy sit ups every corner

And looky there, just as we finish the BURPEE TRAIN!

Audible after that nonsense, I had a diamond Merkin webb planned but let’s run!

Mosey to Bad Idea, Up back and back Up, 10 Bobby Hurleys at top, 10 Mike Tysons back at the school. Found out we lost a couple so let’s run back and find them. Found the boys back at COT. Carb Load finished us up with some Ab work.


Sorry for the brevity of the BB fellas but my WV roots are calling me and I need to go find some banjo music. I thought about not writing this and letting the Zin Man and Carb Load try to come find me in places grown men don’t drink white wine but nevertheless I folded. Enjoyed leading a great group of guys that continue to improve and push each other.

Up Yours Burpee Train

Ah…….yes the time honored tradition of the Thursday Backblast. Writing a backblast is painful enough for myself but writing one for these two spear chucking Spartanettes is double painful. They have only reminded me daily for the last month about this tradition at their Turd Fest they call The Floater. In between their daily stories of achieving Spartan stardom on Mt. Everest or wherever they claimed to have climbed 40,000 feet in elevation, completed every obstacle known to man, saved endangered species, swam the Nile upstream and saved babies from burning buildings they have still found time to badger me about this BB. Upon completion I have thought about hiding it somewhere in Zin’s Beer Room among the 20,000 beers he holds so near and dear or possibly hiding it somewhere on Chainsaw’s million acres so Deadwood has to fly his drone to find it. However, at the end of the day that damn Burpee Train sucked the life out of me and I just want to get it done and take a nap or two. The Weinke was constructed over a couple of beers at Dreamchasers last night. The beer got the creative juices flowing last night and the Vietnamese food truck got the bowels growling this morning. Luckily Zin was out of town and Deadwood gave me his garage code so I could use the only other thing he holds near and dear: The Bidet. Clean up on aisle Zin!

That Thang

Warm up lap around the block and back to the start/finish for some Frack approved stretching and sshx15. Mosey down Kim Jong hill for calf stretch and Merkinsx20 and 6 inch holds. Mosey back up hill and find the wall. Donkey Kicks reps 10, 8, 6, 4, 2, hold for 10 seconds on last rep and 5 Merkins in between each round.

Mosey to ………..The Burpee Train! Claud have Mercy that had to have been the longest train in the history of Mankind! I lost count around 30 burpees and lost feeling in all extremities around 35. There is just something about that amount of burpees and what is does to the body both physically and emotionally. Makes a grown husky man like myself contemplate life and the fact we are throwing ourselves on the ground repeatedly because a train is passing by. Finally it passed like a fart in the wind! Let’s Mosey.

The Burpees definitely took their toll on the Pax as we all came straggling into the basketball court. Line up for 2 traditional suicide sprints then bear crawl the length of the court and Mosey around to the front of school and grab some wall. Walk your feet up the wall then 20 shoulder taps then back on feet for 20 squats x 2. Mosey to cemetery up that nasty hill.

Partner up and go opposite directions around the loop. 5 hand slap merkins when you meet up. Complete 2 laps and let’s head back to school and grab some more wall.

10 Mike Tysons on your own then head back around school to basketball court. Bear Crawl the length back of the court and then start heading back towards downtown Turd Bowl. We stopped for some lunge walks and 5 more burpees on the way back to finish.


While I truly love busting balls of the vest wearing and Spartacus loving Floater AO’s, I’ll be the first to say our F3 group is much better from them constantly pushing our group. From signing up for all these races, getting guys to wear weighted vests, forcing us to drink beer with them and overall pushing us on a daily basis we are a better group because of them. But don’t tell those two knuckleheads I said that. Great push today from everyone. It was not easy and the humidity was brutal. Ice up and drink up! No more BB for Banjo for a whole month! Yipee!



F3 Dads at Dogwood Park at 9am on Saturday. All 2.0’s welcome.

Waxhaw Elementary Cleanup this Saturday 8am-11am. M and 2.0 Friendly, Posse has put the signup on GM.

Sandbox event coming up, Damascus will get the link out soon.

September 14 Speed for Need

Burpee/Rock Press Web Heaven

My one goal this morning was to punish everyone equally! Zin Man sent me a google earth map of the facility yesterday and after two hours my WV analog phone was able to download the picture and I got to work on my weinke. Weinke was then put on hold for an hour or two last night as Deliverance called me up and said he had a Bobcat problem behind his house and needed help. Like all good neighbors I told him I’ll grab a bottle of wine you grab the crossbow. True Story: Details to follow at Dreamchaser’s. Dicc’s given while multiple people kept pouring into the parking lot. Posse was still 15 minutes out.

That Thang:

Warm-up: SSH x15, LSSx10, Merkinsx15, calf stretches and Jimmy Dugan stretch

Mosey to beginning of path that leads to Rudy’s Poop Palace

Every other stop light 10 Merkins, first 10 come back to rock pile and grab rocks. While we wait grab wall Jabs x 50, Donkey Kicks x 15, Overhead presses x 50, Donkey Kicks x10

Everyone grab a rock for Burpee/Rock Press Heaven, 1 burpee 4 presses —10 burpees 40 presses(subsituted some curls and tri extensions) Brutal!

Mosey to top traffic circle and partner up: Gazelle with Clidesdale: two rounds top circle 20 jumping lunges bottom circle 10 Mike Tyson’s, with 5 hand slap Merkins when you meet up. 2 Rounds

Mosey to bottom of parking low: Gazelles go 4 intersections up for 15 MC’s, Clidesdales go 2 intersections up for 15 MC’s, way up and back do 3 burpees at first intersection.

Mosey back to front of school with a stop for Bear Crawls and Done!


Really enjoyed leading this group of fine Men this morning. The rain held off and it was a nice dry campus this morning to throw ourselves on the ground for a few burpees. I planned the weinke to push the Gazelles further and longer so they didn’t leave wanting more. Hopefully you all felt like I did, which was spent. Keep pushing yourselves out there and you will see the improvements pretty quickly. The level and intensity has certainly gone up since I joined F3 about a year ago so great job to all of you for holding each other accountable.


Christ’s Closet please arrive around 5:30ish this evening. Ackbar has posted all the details on GM.

Concert has been cancelled tonight due to the rain. Come in doors and drink beer and eat ice cream.

Tomorrow F3 Dads starts Ballantyne and Matthews. Two locations.

Fix it for Christ June 19th-22, Meet at where we assemble for Floater across the street. See Jingles for more details.

Beach Bodies Here We Come!

The old trick knee was feeling better for a Q at Chiseled this morning after an Ultimate Frisbee mishap a couple of weeks ago. It was balmy 38 degrees this morning but the boys were bundled up minus Recalculating in his shorts and short sleeve shirt and ready to go. My goal was to prove that you can have a gear workout and keep the heart rate up with very little down time for explanations of workouts.

Warm Up:

Mosey to front entrance for Five Stones and back for circle up


10 Merkins

15 Imperial Walkers

10 Merkins

Stretch right and left legs

10 More Merkins wide grip

That Thang:

Mosey over to Mt. Chiseled and partner up.

P1 20 overhead presses with weighted bar and P2 20 upright rows with dumbells, switch equipment and 20 each again. They run opposite each other around Mt. Chiseled for 5 hand slap Merkins. Rinse and repeat 3 times.

After completion let’s do 10 burpees in 1 minute

Mosey to Parking lot and circle up behind cinder blocks. After each Rep Cycle rotate to next spot, one person on rope each cycle.

20 Merkins

Then grab cinder blocks for next Reps:

20 Curls

20 Presses

15 Squats

15 Tricep Extensions

20 Curls

15 Presses

Mosey over to Mt. Chiseled again to grab dumbells and weighted bars and back for a little Starfish action:

4 Corners: Squats, tricep extensions, Rows and Rope jump over and burpees. In center perform the “Hoff” P1 elbow planks while P2 jumps over him. 5 times each partner

Audible to sprint station after 1 full round of Starfish: Groups of 3: One person is always sprinting, had to get the heart rate back up.

Finish up with some abs and more merkins and Time.


Good group of nine guys this morning for a gear workout. My goal was to keep the explanations down on stations so we eliminated any down time and heart rates starting to drop. It was also good to see all the equipment that has been donated out at Chiseled. It’s a great problem when you have to get another bin because we outgrew the last one.

Thanks for taking us out Doughboy.