Author Archive Banjo

And the Pax just kept coming………

The longest part of this Backblast was watching the video and tagging everyone that came out this morning. It was really great to see 37 guys at our combined Ignition/Flash COT. There must have been some major eating getting done over Turkey Day to see such a great turnout this morning or maybe the Pax just needed a good old fashion Banjo beatdown.

As the Pax kept arriving and the numbers kept getting higher and higher I soon realized the Weinke would needed to be changed on the fly. DICCS given and it was time to lead this Mob.

Warm Up:

15x ssh, 10 LSS, stretch, 10 reg Merkins, calf stretch, 10 Wide arm Merkins, 10 6 inch Plank Jacks(blood was officially flowing)

That Thang:

Mosey back to parking lot. Tried a new type of circle back for the 6 this morning. Instead of jumping in and picking up wherever the 6 was at in the exercises and staying with him, simply run to him then back to the finish. Rinse and repeat until 6 is completely finished. Idea was that the Gazelles could get the miles in and you don’t have 30 guys on top of the 6 causing too much of a log jam and this seemed to keep everyone moving at their own pace.

Every light pole alternate 10 merkins, then 10 Bobby Hurley’s all the way to Rudy’s Fecal Fort. Grab some wall for air presses x20 and 10 Mike Tysons.

Mosey to top traffic circle by stadium, lunge walk the circle until the 6 is in. Partner up and complete 5 burpees up top, 10 Dry Docks at bottom with 5 hand slap Merkins when you meet up. Complete 2 rounds.

Mosey back towards steps at complete 5 big boy sit-ups at intersection, run to steps and complete 2 burpees before going up, bear crawl to wall, then 5 Mike Tyson’s. Rinse and Repeat 2 times before Moseying back to Rudy’s Poop Palace. On the way back every other light for 5 Burpees. Merry with some ab work and Done!


Bread Bowl broke wind, then he had to go for real, Zin had to help him get cleaned up, they were both late for COT. Just wanted to see if anyone is still reading at this point.

Announcements: Effies this Saturday, Crest of the Briars come get your feelings hurt.

14th is Zin Man’s Beer exchange, downtown cleanup that morning.

Damn that Burpee Train

17 Men joined me for a tour of the mean streets of Waxhaw in a balmy 37 degrees this morning. Had to cut the weinke a little short this morning because of that long nasty train. We got some good miles in and hit a couple local famous hills along the way.

That Thang:

Mosey around our 4 Corners block and head down Kim Jong Hill to the Animal Hospital.

15 SSH, 10 Merkins, stretch, more merkis and 6 inch jack webs

Blood was now flowing so let’s head back up Kim Jong Hill to the four corners: 1st lap 5 burpees every corner, 2nd lap 5 Big Boy sit ups every corner

And looky there, just as we finish the BURPEE TRAIN!

Audible after that nonsense, I had a diamond Merkin webb planned but let’s run!

Mosey to Bad Idea, Up back and back Up, 10 Bobby Hurleys at top, 10 Mike Tysons back at the school. Found out we lost a couple so let’s run back and find them. Found the boys back at COT. Carb Load finished us up with some Ab work.


Sorry for the brevity of the BB fellas but my WV roots are calling me and I need to go find some banjo music. I thought about not writing this and letting the Zin Man and Carb Load try to come find me in places grown men don’t drink white wine but nevertheless I folded. Enjoyed leading a great group of guys that continue to improve and push each other.

Up Yours Burpee Train

Ah…….yes the time honored tradition of the Thursday Backblast. Writing a backblast is painful enough for myself but writing one for these two spear chucking Spartanettes is double painful. They have only reminded me daily for the last month about this tradition at their Turd Fest they call The Floater. In between their daily stories of achieving Spartan stardom on Mt. Everest or wherever they claimed to have climbed 40,000 feet in elevation, completed every obstacle known to man, saved endangered species, swam the Nile upstream and saved babies from burning buildings they have still found time to badger me about this BB. Upon completion I have thought about hiding it somewhere in Zin’s Beer Room among the 20,000 beers he holds so near and dear or possibly hiding it somewhere on Chainsaw’s million acres so Deadwood has to fly his drone to find it. However, at the end of the day that damn Burpee Train sucked the life out of me and I just want to get it done and take a nap or two. The Weinke was constructed over a couple of beers at Dreamchasers last night. The beer got the creative juices flowing last night and the Vietnamese food truck got the bowels growling this morning. Luckily Zin was out of town and Deadwood gave me his garage code so I could use the only other thing he holds near and dear: The Bidet. Clean up on aisle Zin!

That Thang

Warm up lap around the block and back to the start/finish for some Frack approved stretching and sshx15. Mosey down Kim Jong hill for calf stretch and Merkinsx20 and 6 inch holds. Mosey back up hill and find the wall. Donkey Kicks reps 10, 8, 6, 4, 2, hold for 10 seconds on last rep and 5 Merkins in between each round.

Mosey to ………..The Burpee Train! Claud have Mercy that had to have been the longest train in the history of Mankind! I lost count around 30 burpees and lost feeling in all extremities around 35. There is just something about that amount of burpees and what is does to the body both physically and emotionally. Makes a grown husky man like myself contemplate life and the fact we are throwing ourselves on the ground repeatedly because a train is passing by. Finally it passed like a fart in the wind! Let’s Mosey.

The Burpees definitely took their toll on the Pax as we all came straggling into the basketball court. Line up for 2 traditional suicide sprints then bear crawl the length of the court and Mosey around to the front of school and grab some wall. Walk your feet up the wall then 20 shoulder taps then back on feet for 20 squats x 2. Mosey to cemetery up that nasty hill.

Partner up and go opposite directions around the loop. 5 hand slap merkins when you meet up. Complete 2 laps and let’s head back to school and grab some more wall.

10 Mike Tysons on your own then head back around school to basketball court. Bear Crawl the length back of the court and then start heading back towards downtown Turd Bowl. We stopped for some lunge walks and 5 more burpees on the way back to finish.


While I truly love busting balls of the vest wearing and Spartacus loving Floater AO’s, I’ll be the first to say our F3 group is much better from them constantly pushing our group. From signing up for all these races, getting guys to wear weighted vests, forcing us to drink beer with them and overall pushing us on a daily basis we are a better group because of them. But don’t tell those two knuckleheads I said that. Great push today from everyone. It was not easy and the humidity was brutal. Ice up and drink up! No more BB for Banjo for a whole month! Yipee!



F3 Dads at Dogwood Park at 9am on Saturday. All 2.0’s welcome.

Waxhaw Elementary Cleanup this Saturday 8am-11am. M and 2.0 Friendly, Posse has put the signup on GM.

Sandbox event coming up, Damascus will get the link out soon.

September 14 Speed for Need

Burpee/Rock Press Web Heaven

My one goal this morning was to punish everyone equally! Zin Man sent me a google earth map of the facility yesterday and after two hours my WV analog phone was able to download the picture and I got to work on my weinke. Weinke was then put on hold for an hour or two last night as Deliverance called me up and said he had a Bobcat problem behind his house and needed help. Like all good neighbors I told him I’ll grab a bottle of wine you grab the crossbow. True Story: Details to follow at Dreamchaser’s. Dicc’s given while multiple people kept pouring into the parking lot. Posse was still 15 minutes out.

That Thang:

Warm-up: SSH x15, LSSx10, Merkinsx15, calf stretches and Jimmy Dugan stretch

Mosey to beginning of path that leads to Rudy’s Poop Palace

Every other stop light 10 Merkins, first 10 come back to rock pile and grab rocks. While we wait grab wall Jabs x 50, Donkey Kicks x 15, Overhead presses x 50, Donkey Kicks x10

Everyone grab a rock for Burpee/Rock Press Heaven, 1 burpee 4 presses —10 burpees 40 presses(subsituted some curls and tri extensions) Brutal!

Mosey to top traffic circle and partner up: Gazelle with Clidesdale: two rounds top circle 20 jumping lunges bottom circle 10 Mike Tyson’s, with 5 hand slap Merkins when you meet up. 2 Rounds

Mosey to bottom of parking low: Gazelles go 4 intersections up for 15 MC’s, Clidesdales go 2 intersections up for 15 MC’s, way up and back do 3 burpees at first intersection.

Mosey back to front of school with a stop for Bear Crawls and Done!


Really enjoyed leading this group of fine Men this morning. The rain held off and it was a nice dry campus this morning to throw ourselves on the ground for a few burpees. I planned the weinke to push the Gazelles further and longer so they didn’t leave wanting more. Hopefully you all felt like I did, which was spent. Keep pushing yourselves out there and you will see the improvements pretty quickly. The level and intensity has certainly gone up since I joined F3 about a year ago so great job to all of you for holding each other accountable.


Christ’s Closet please arrive around 5:30ish this evening. Ackbar has posted all the details on GM.

Concert has been cancelled tonight due to the rain. Come in doors and drink beer and eat ice cream.

Tomorrow F3 Dads starts Ballantyne and Matthews. Two locations.

Fix it for Christ June 19th-22, Meet at where we assemble for Floater across the street. See Jingles for more details.

Beach Bodies Here We Come!

The old trick knee was feeling better for a Q at Chiseled this morning after an Ultimate Frisbee mishap a couple of weeks ago. It was balmy 38 degrees this morning but the boys were bundled up minus Recalculating in his shorts and short sleeve shirt and ready to go. My goal was to prove that you can have a gear workout and keep the heart rate up with very little down time for explanations of workouts.

Warm Up:

Mosey to front entrance for Five Stones and back for circle up


10 Merkins

15 Imperial Walkers

10 Merkins

Stretch right and left legs

10 More Merkins wide grip

That Thang:

Mosey over to Mt. Chiseled and partner up.

P1 20 overhead presses with weighted bar and P2 20 upright rows with dumbells, switch equipment and 20 each again. They run opposite each other around Mt. Chiseled for 5 hand slap Merkins. Rinse and repeat 3 times.

After completion let’s do 10 burpees in 1 minute

Mosey to Parking lot and circle up behind cinder blocks. After each Rep Cycle rotate to next spot, one person on rope each cycle.

20 Merkins

Then grab cinder blocks for next Reps:

20 Curls

20 Presses

15 Squats

15 Tricep Extensions

20 Curls

15 Presses

Mosey over to Mt. Chiseled again to grab dumbells and weighted bars and back for a little Starfish action:

4 Corners: Squats, tricep extensions, Rows and Rope jump over and burpees. In center perform the “Hoff” P1 elbow planks while P2 jumps over him. 5 times each partner

Audible to sprint station after 1 full round of Starfish: Groups of 3: One person is always sprinting, had to get the heart rate back up.

Finish up with some abs and more merkins and Time.


Good group of nine guys this morning for a gear workout. My goal was to keep the explanations down on stations so we eliminated any down time and heart rates starting to drop. It was also good to see all the equipment that has been donated out at Chiseled. It’s a great problem when you have to get another bin because we outgrew the last one.

Thanks for taking us out Doughboy.

Nice Morning for a Run

After getting a good gear workout at Chiseled yesterday led by Wedding Singer I decided we needed to run at the Ol’ 87/Floater. I also decided instead of playing frogger with the cars on Providence we would stay on our side and find some new ground. Props to the site Q’s at the filthy Floater for setting the standard on DCSS, we were adequately prepared with headlamps, vest, cell phones and CPR certifications. With a nice warm morning and many Lawsonites at home mashing the snooze button it was time to take a stroll…….

With the help of the Zin Man who by the way is a freaking Gazelle now, we found a nice road leading out of downtown Waxhaw that actually had a sidewalk. After a quick warm-up in the church parking lot where I was told to keep the Banjo racket down a few times it was time to illuminate the headlamps.

The Thang:

Come out of church parking lot and cross Waxhaw-Marvin Road to find sidewalk. One mile out to intersection of Helms and Waxhaw-Marvin Road and one mile back. Made a stop out at the Barn for Partner work:

-Partner Al Gore 50 Hand Slaps

-10 Hand slap Merkins

-3 burpee hand slaps at the top

Way back did some LBC’s at the Barn(nice smooth surface for Moneyball)

Stopped at the Picnic shelter for 50 dips and some planks

4 Corners-Hit each exercise on the way out and run back to the beginning every time for 10 Merkins.

-Four Corners: 15 Squats, 15 Speed Skater, 15 LBC’s 15 SSH


It was nice to get back out and Q at the site of my VQ, eventhough it is the old dirty Floater. Crazy how warm it was this morning but luckily no nasty white v-neck t-shirts were rung out afterwards. Everyone pushed hard and luckily we were spaced out far enough that complaining wasn’t to be heard. There will definitely be some sore hammys tomorrow so in the words of the Great Steve Smith “ice up”.


Father Daughter March 1st

Reach out to a Pax that hasn’t been in awhile, check on them

Banjo Squealed Like a Pig

Sorry for the delay in getting this out but basketball, baseball, birthday party and couch burning(see West Virginia upset over Kansas) got in the way.

14 Pax came out to Commitment as the rain held off and yours truly only had to refer to his Cabernet soaked weinke a few times. We had a great mix of guys and it was awesome to welcome Mad Dog back out. Contrary to the Don of the Briars and the Crest’s belief, Banjo enjoys leading this fine group of men and picking up extra points in the weight loss competition. I would like to mention the squealing during counting is next level stuff that can only be learned at Q school next weekend. Please sign up and let Moneyball teach you his Tennessee squeal.

DCCS given before we left the parking lot, multiple headlamps, vests and phones were in play along with a couple of Pax CPR certified so let’s Mosey….

Warm Up:

-20 SSH

-15 IW

-15 Merkins=5 regular, 5 wide grip, 5 Diamond with a primal squeal

-15 MC

-10 Jumping Knee touches

The Thang:

Mosey to Flagpole for Partner Bear Crawl with 2 burpee high fives when you meet up, complete one full lap

Stay with partner, P1 backpedal to light pole and sprints back while P2 completes 5 alligator merkins then runs around circle Rinse and Repeat 3 times

Indian Run to Millbridge clubhouse for Starfish:

5 merkin shredders in the middle 4 corners: 10 reps each of jump squats, jumping lunges, speed skaters and mountain climbers, Complete one cycle then grab your partner

Run with partner to first round a bout stopping at each intersection for 5 master splinters(bad idea). Run back down with partner doing squats at each intersection. Stop at the trail head and line up for Indian Run

Stop at the flagpole for 5 burpees and 10 jumping knee touches then mosey to school parking lot

Partner back up: P1 sprints to cones while P2 LBCs x 3 times, then line up opposite your partner for relay race with a burpee at the the first island, last bad idea of the day was a Banjo style same leg-same arm forward race.


We ended up somewhere between 3.5-4 miles on the fancy watches. Bottle Cap and Easy Button pushed the pace while Fuse locked up the brakes on the Indian Run. Bottle Cap did a great job picking up the 6 on multiple occasions and everyone pushed hard to complete the workout. Inspector Gadget is hitting it hard and mentioned he is already down 6 lbs.

Mad Dog and Shop Dawg both brought up a great point in our COT: Check up on our brothers that haven’t posted in awhile. We don’t know sometimes what is going on in each other’s lives and a quick text or call can make a big difference. Shop Dawg shared with us what a big difference it made for him to receive multiple texts when he was going through rough times.


Get signed up for Q School! Never Qd, Qd a few times, need a refresher? Get signed up.

Open Door every Sunday at 7am @Five Stones Church

Bear-Muda Triangle

17 Pax came out for a nice rare dry morning to try out some new exercises at Wachtower. As I dug through the F3 Lexicon last night I had a few jump out at me: Bear-Muda Triangle, Alligator Merkins and Ascending Testicles. I texted the fearless Site Q Deadwood and told him my plan and he simply said “they will suck but do it and let the bitching commence.”

My biggest worry was trying to explain the exercises quick enough without too big of a break and tripping the “heart rate too low” alarms on all the expensive watches out there. But regardless if these are a hit or go over like a fart in church let’ go………


Disclaimer then count off 1,2 for your group the rest of the day


-Imperial Walkers


-Low Slow Squats

Indian Runs in your group to next station, person in the back does a burpee before heading to front

1st Station: 1’s Bearmuda Triangle: burpee at 1st cone, bear crawl to next come and do 2 burpees, bear crawl to third come and do 3 burpees, bear crawl back to original cone

2’s Alligator Merkins to 1st cone then run to 2nd light pole and do 5 burpees and then run back, Rinse and repeat each exercise 3 times.

Mosey around Hickory Tavern for some wall sits while doing air presses and jabs.

Mosey up to Station #2 Ascending Testicles: Walk your feet up to 15 degrees and do 5 Merkins, walk your feet up to 45 degrees and do 5 Merkins/Derkins and then walk all the way until your testicles are touching the wall then walk it back out.

Group 2 runs across parking lot for 5 Master Splinters and then back. Rinse and Repeat 2 times each.

Mosey over to Target parking lot for Station 3: Partner runs to 2nd light pole with other partner holds plank. We substituted some Dana Abs in for the planks to complete our full body workout. 3 Rounds each and done.


Everyone pushed hard today and I actually heard some encouragement out there from some of the Pax. Ascending Testicles was definitely a bad idea after our shoulders were smoked coming off Bear Muda Triangle. I almost face planted a couple of times when I was on the wall from my arms giving out. Other than that it was a great morning and I had a great time leading a great group of guys. It was fun to do a little research on some new exercises and roll it out to the Pax.


Weigh Loss competition has begun. Zin will bring the scales out whenever he posts for official weigh ins.

Tupperware on Q at Chiseled for tomorrow

The Bricks Go Where You GO

Chiseled is off and running now at Five Stones Church and we couldn’t ask for a better Host for our group.  The pastor has been out a couple of times to welcome us and today we picked up a fng from their bible study.  As a site Q it has been great to watch the different styles of leadership and the different uses of equipment each Q has brought so far to Chiseled.  Fuse Box and myself will keep adding equipment and different ideas to our awesome playground at Five Stone.  Speaking of awesome playground, the lighting seems to draw in the pre-runners as we have noticed a huge up tick in pre-workout runners.   Of course the final weigh in this morning had some Clydesdales out huffing and puffing early.

Warm Up:

It’s Chiseled so let’s grab those bricks for our opening Mosey!  Bricks didn’t seem bad at first but the grip started to go after awhile.  Circle up for 15 SSH, 15 IW’s, 15 Merkins, stretch it out, grab those bricks 15 curls, 15 Upright rows, 15 presses

The Thang:

Mosey to front entrance of Five Stones with bricks of course and back to start Island running. Each island do 5 Thrusters x 5 Islands on the way back jump squats.  Curls and Presses with bricks until the 6 is in.  Partner up: hand slap merkins x 10 on the way down, x 5 on the way back as our shoulders started to give out.  Next head to the rock pile and grab a rock between the two partners.  Back to Island Fun, 10 thrusters each island while partner holds a plank then switch, carry the rock to the next island rinse and repeat for all 5 Islands.  Curl and presses on the way back.  Overhead tricep extensions until the 6 isn in.  Let’s move on to Mount Chiseled!  Partner 1 : burpees with the bricks(looked much more fun on video last night as I drank a beer and designed this workout on the back of a kid’s menu at Hickory Tavern) while partner 2 runs around Mount Chiseled.  After 2 rounds and some nasty looks we finished up with 1 round of curl/presses.  Grab your bricks and Mosey back to COT.


I heard quite a few this morning say it’s crazy how much adding a little weight make such a difference when doing these exercises.  I think that’s Chiseled in a nutshell.  Adding weight and gear design exercises should get us all out of our comfort zone and start putting on the extra muscle.  I’ve heard from a few already that the soreness is setting in today so I count that as a Chiseled success.  Don’t blame me, blame the bricks.


Bible Study at Five Stones immediately following Chiseled

New FNG named Raggedy Ann

BoneFrog Nov 10th

Keep bringing Dancing Bear soap, shampoo, toiletries etc…..

Chiseled: Having distinguished features. jacked or ripped

14 Pax came out for our 2nd official Chiseled workout this morning.  While we may not completely define Chiseled yet, we are off and running and giving it the ol’ college try.  We have accumulated enough gear to start making this interesting with many stations and plenty of lifting heavy objects.  Thanks to many of you for the donations of gear as we get this up and running.

The Thang:

Mosey across the parking lot and around our running loop(Mount Chiseled) for our warmup mosey.  Circle up and gave disclaimer.  15 SSH, 15 Mountain Climbers, stay down for Jimmy Duggans and stretch each leg, up and 15 Imperial Walkers and end with a 15 Moroccan Night Clubs.

Mosey to the rock pile and parnter up.  Grab LIFTING rocks!(Shake n Bake and Southern Bell)  Lock out elbows and lets Lunge to our first station, switch with your partner as soon as you can’t feel your legs anymore.

1st Station:  150  Curls, 150 Overhead Presses, 75 Thrusters, One partner lifts the other runs a lap around Mount Chiseled.  When done one partner does upright tricep extensions while partner does lbcs unitl the 6 is in.

Mosey to next station:  Starfish with a twist. 4 Corners:  weighted jump squats, upright rows, weighted lbcs and tricep extensions.  Twist=you run with the bricks and complete the exercises with the bricks. Merkins in the middle.  20 count every station.

Mosey to the next station work.  Rope work(hurts so good), curls, straight arm front rows, partner pipe squats, Pit of misery(one legged step ups and foot release squats), Good Mornings and Resistance Band Runs(ouch).

Next station:  Jack Webbs Chiseled style:  Upright Rows and Curls, We made it through 6’s and did 7 upright rows before we were timed out.

The Moleskin:

Chiseled is off and running and we’re already seeing new guys come out do really well.  Tupperware came out and kicked butt today once he found a ride.  Deadwood must have forgotten the directions to Fivestones or he was too tired from posting the day before.  All in all a solid effort today from everyone and hopefully some sore Pax that are on there way to getting much stronger.