Author Archive Alf

The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Moaning and Grunting

Summer hours are supposed to mean knocking off a half day on Friday to start drinking beers outside.  Not so for the 20 men who joined Fast Twitch’s “Summer Hours” this AM.  It’s only one full hour, but feels like so much more.

Jog around the cars with some high knees and butt kickers.


  • SSH x25 IC
  • IW x 20 IC
  • Merkins x 15 IC (this is about when YHC heard the calls for “I thought this was a running workout”)

The Thang:

  • Run through Raintree to the base of the hill on Windbluff ~1 mile
  • Partner up.  Partner 1 lunge walks up hill, Partner 2 runs to top of hill, to the bottom, then catches partner 1 on the way back up.  Partner 2 continues lunge walks up the hill while Partner 1 runs to top, bottom, then back to Partner 2.  Keep the rotation to the top.  Once the lunge walkers reach the top, jog to bottom and repeat.
  • A little Jacob’s ladder with Merkins/Squats at the top.  in sets of 5, 10, 15 & 20.  The early finishers run back down to meet the late finishers and run with them to the top.
  • Run back to track via Raintree and Rt 51.
  • Circle up for LBC’s, Flutters, Dolly’s all x 25 IC.
  • 5 minutes left – Enough time to knock down 800m around the track and back to the parking lot for COT.


  • Rumor had it that we covered 4.8 miles this morning.  Maybe a bit shorter than the last few Twitch’s but I think everyone had enough of the hills.  All got at least 8 to 9 turns up Windbluff.  The good news is that these hills are much smaller than BRR!
  • A big group today as many are in full BRR preparation or trying to slim up to get that summer beach body.  My guess is Frasier and Turkey Leg were in it for the latter.
  • Welcome to the site FNG’s Hairball and Young Love and to F3 FNG Evan Howell (Thurston).  Way to keep up the pace this morning!


  • Golf on Thursday.
  • Everything else on June 14.  Olympics, F3 Dads, F3 Pool Party, neighborhood garage sale, free document shredding @ town hall, the new 22 Jump Street Movie opens, and my wife has a hair appointment.  Shout out in the comments if  I missed anything
  • Next Thursday, June 5 @ 7:30PM starts the first running of F3 Night Train.  This once a week run is for everyone, but mainly to support BRR training and running 2x in one day with little recovery, assuming you ran Thursday AM.   Starting point will be ABC at the Arbo for week 1.  Starting point will vary to find some good hills, and announced on Twitter.  Distance will be whatever you need, similar to Rum Runner format, but not meant to be your LSD for the week.  I would guess most PAX will end up with 4-6 miles on the evening, but go longer or shorter if  you want.

These Amps go to 11. One louder than 10.

9 PAX posted at The Matrix on a damp morning, but the rain held off for most of the workout cranked up to 11.

This was YHC’s first post in 4 weeks as I tried to get this hamstring to recover.  Horseheeaad was originally on the docket, but pulled up lame with a bum shoulder, so we sent him to the glue factory.   YHC and Uncle Leo drew straws for the least injured would Q.  I won and so did the PAX.

The Thang:


  • Squats x 20 (IC)
  • IW x 20 (IC)
  • SSH x 25 (IC)
  • Merkins x 20 (IC)
  • Elbow planks

The Business:

Mosey down field, grab a cinder block and line up on the sidewalk.

3 Rounds of 11’s between sidewalk and lamppost with plank-o-rama between rounds.

Round 1:  Thrusters with block and Burpees  (Thruster = Squat with block at chest and push block to overhead press while standing up)

Round 2:  Triceps extensions with block and Diamond Merkins

Round 3: Shoulder Presses with block and CDD’s

Drop off blocks and mosey to playground for a quick 10 pull-ups, 20 merkins, and 30 dips.

Circle up for Mary:

LBC’s x 25 (IC)

Flutter x 30 (IC)

Dolly x 20 (IC)

Elbow Plank for 1 minute.


It was good to be out in the gloom again after a little time off and great to see 3 relatively new PAX in Hairball, Cole Slaw and Schnitzel.  During the little break I had I thought about how I wanted to up the intensity at The Matrix.  So why stop at 10 when you can go to 11?  11’s it was.  The 11’s seemed like a great idea on the weinke but that combo of thrusters and burpees hurt real bad.  So I’ll bring them back another day.

O’Tannenbaum was LIFO today and Floor Slapper was way early.  If those two both ever get there prior to the start, surely armageddon is upon us.

Always and honor to lead the PAX and thanks to Floor Slapper for the send off.



The Easter Bunny gave the PAX a Splinter

Posted on behalf of Splinter:
The Weinke for today had one word.  K.I.S.S.  Naye, more like one acronymn.  Keep It Simple Stupid.  YHC is no genius, nor a professional (#disclaimer), but keep people moving and balance the excercises with different muscle groups and you will feel it.  Therefore, nothing fancy at the Matrix today, except for Spandex’s fancy GPS watch.  It recorded 2.5 miles, not too shabby.
25 SSH
25 Imperial/Emperial Walker…somebody give me the correct spelling please
25 Mountain Climbers
20 Merkins OYO
The Thang:
Number off by twos.  Group 1 run 220ish yds while group 2 perfroms called excercises, flapjack.  Rinse and Repeat for 30 minutes.
Called excercises
  1. Pull ups
  2. Decline Merkins
  3. Squats
  4. Dips
  5. Lunges
  6. LBC
  7. Plank
  8. Hand Release Merkins
  9. Pull ups
  10. Dips
  11. Downward Dog (Yoga…that’s right baby)
  12. Decline Merkins
  13. Squats
  14. LBC (Lobster Roll’s pick)
COM:   Russian Twist x 20, Flutter x 25, Dolly x 20, Freddy Mercury x 20ish??, Heels to Heaven x 20ish??, Back Scratchers x 20
-Salt Lick’s M asked him if he wanted to run a 5k.  His comment was I run a 5k 3x a week.  We almost hit a 5k worth of running today.  Kept the heart rate up and the aerobic workout going for a full 40 min
-Someone (Salt Lick??) made the comment on all those runs they felt the Easter Feast bouncing within their belly.  Thankfully no one spilled the #Ham/#Merlot.
-Not too much chatter out there today.   Although YHC had this sneaky suspicion, that members of group 2 were cursing YHC’s name or at least the weinke.The Pax worked hard.  There were lots of sweating, huffing/puffing, and hands on the knees.
-T claps to Blue Hen for EH’ing his friend/neighbor to The Matrix today.  He chose the Red Pill and continued down the rabbit hole to find himself renamed “Skippy.”  His company distributes to peanut butter snacks to kids, unless they have a peanut allergy.
– T claps to the other FNG, “Hairball.”  When asked his favorite 80’s movie.  The answer was Teen Wolf.  Ok…the Pax could work with this.  Close call between Howler, Full Moon, and Hairball.  Too many good options, it was a difficult decision.
-T claps to Lobster Roll always leading the charge in Group 2 on the runs.  The man is a beast
-YHC tried to keep pace with Turkey Leg on Group 1 runs.  It was a formidabble task, however TL began to slow down near the end, allowing YHC to overtake him once…I think.  What happened brother?  Muthaship has to be hearder than this right??

The Q shows up for a change

So last Tuesday I had a faulty alarm clock and totally missed my Q at Fast Twitch.  Not my finest moment.  Unfortunately for the PAX at The Matrix this morning, Best Buy hooked me up with a shiny new alarm clock with two alarms, snooze button, AM AND FM Radio.  A bit of a budget buster @ $20, but its worth it to ensure timely pain delivery to the PAX.

As the PAX gathered we discussed yet another chilly morning.  How many sub 40 degree workouts has it been this winter?  Enough of that and off we went to warm up quick.

Mosey to parking lot for COP:

Each of the following 25x in cadence

  • SSH
  • IW
  • Squats
  • Merkins
  • Dollies

The Thang:

Mosey to stumps for double move 11’s.  Maybe that’s 22’s counted by two’s?  No time really to debate the details.

10 step ups on stumps (A right leg up, then left leg up counts as 1 rep)

run to playground

1 hanging knee raise and 1 pull up counts as a rep.

Run back and forth until you get to 1 step up and 10 knee raise/pull-ups.


Mosey to wall, with 25 yards of lunge walk along the way.

2 rounds of peoples chair with 15 Irkins after first round and 15 Derkins after second.

Mary on the move:

Line up and run down the parking lot stopping at 1st goal for 20 LBC’s, second goal 20 LBC’s, turn back stopping again at first goal for 20 LBC’s and run it out to the end.

Repeat-o with flutters.

Mosey to cars with 40 Russian Twists OYO to close it out.


After the Spartan Race yesterday it was tough to get out there this morning.  Calling the 11’s off that bat was an easy Q move: it was hard and ate 25+ minutes off the clock.  Plus it loosened up all the tight parts from yesterday. Not much chatter from the PAX after we started the 11’s.  Lot’s of hard work being done and I had to make sure I kept up enough speed not to have Lobster Roll lap me.  He was moving out there.

Speaking of Spartan, working out with F3 all the time makes you forget how strong we are compared to the sad clowns working out next to a fern.  This weekend YHC finished the race in the same pack as Cheese Curd, Run Stopper, Ninja Turtle and a few other Metro/NoCo PAX.  I felt we were middle of the road for the F3 Crew.  A good run, but not record breaking.  Turns out we were all in the top 6% or so for the entire race.  We are all pretty impressive as a unit and its clear we push each other hard.

Thanks for taking us out Clown Car.


**See other recent back blasts




Keeping the core strong

It was a balmy 39 degrees when the PAX kicked off at 0530 this morning – likely the best conditions of the week.

Mosey to the field for COP all in cadence:

  • Imperial Walker x 20
  • SSH x 30
  • Lunge (alternate legs) x 20
  • Side Lunge (alternate legs) x 20
  • Flutter x 20
  • Merkin x 20
  • Mountain Climber x 20
  • Elbow plank-o-rama

Mosey to the playground:

  • Hanging knee raises x 15
  • Derkins x 20
  • Dips x 25
  • Repeat 3 times then plank
  • Pull ups x 10
  • Incline Merkins x 20
  • Russian Twists x 30
  • Repeat 3 times then plan

Mosey to stumps and partner up:

  • One leg step ups x 15 each leg
  • 30 full sit ups with partner holding feet
  • Repeat 3 times then plank

Mosey to wall:

  • Peoples chair
  • Diamond merkins x 10
  • Peoples chair

Mosey to cars:

  • LBC x 20 in cadence
  • Rosalita x 20 in cadence



YHC decided to limit the running today in favor of lots of core work.  Just be glad the workout was only 45 minutes long as YHC had a few more ab exercises on the Weinke we didn’t get to.  I think failure was starting to occur on the 3rd round of full sit ups for most, so may have had mutiny if it went on much longer.

Great work this morning, its always and honor to lead a fine group of men.  Thanks to Passport for the sendoff.


Starting a new book on Friday mornings Limitless Life at Chick-Fil-A in the Arbo, 0630.  Bulldog has the details.  Ruck is optional.


12 Rounds of pain on a cool breezy morning

13 PAX drifted in on the cool breeze for an Alf/Abacus beat down.  All left after getting their money’s worth.

COP (All in Cadence

SSH x 20

IW x 20

Squats x 20

Merkins x 15

Mountain Climbers x 20

The Thang:

Run to grab a block and meet at parking lot for 12 rounds of pain and running – all at your own pace.  All laps around the 2 islands in the parking lot.

Round 1:  50 Merkins.  Run lap

Round 2:  50 Shoulder presses with block.  Run lap with block

Round 3:  50 Monkey Humpers, Shuffle lap facing inside

Round 4:  50 CDD, Shuffle lap facing outside

Round 5:  50 Squats with block, Run 1 lap backwards

Round 6:  50 Decline merkins,  run lap

Round 7:  50 Curls with block, karaoke lap facing inside

Round 8:  50 LBC’s, karaoke lap facing outside

Round 9:  50 Incline merkins, run lap

Round 10:  50 Dolly with block press, run lap

Round 11:  50 Bent over rows (25R/25L), Hop lap half way, then run rest of lap

Round 12:  50 Triceps extensions with block, Sprint lap

Plank-o-rama until all are done.  Return blocks.

Abacus led Mary:  (All exercises in cadence)

Dolly x 20 – Hold ’em w/ Turkey Leg 10 count

Flutter x 20 – Hold ’em w/ O’Tannenbaum 10 count

Rosalita x 20

Backscratcher x 25

CCV x 10L/10R

Mosey to wall.  2 Rounds of Peoples Chair with lunge walks after each.

15 Burbees and 25 Dips OYO.

Finish with Plank-o-rama.


A great run by the PAX on a cold morning.  YHC heard that wind when I got up and it wasn’t easy to get motivated to get out there.  Welcome back to Joker.  YHC saw him more this week than I had in a month.  Even with the time off he still paced with Lobster Roll leading the workout.

Many were hoping for an audible away from the 50 reps per round.  No such #Omaha today.

Thanks to Young Love for the send off.


Email Baracus if you want to sign up for the BRR.

-Alf & Abacus

Warning Label: Do Not Do This. May Cause Injury or Death


29 PAX showed up for YHC’s effort to keep the Skunkworks pain on 11.  We started with the standard burpees OYO but then headed down to the lot for some not-so-standard activities.


SSH x 21

Squats x 20

8 count body builders.  You know 1: Squat, 2: Thrust, 3: Down, 4: Legs Out, 5: Jump, 6: Lunge, 7: Legs In, 8: Do the Hokey Pokey…..  Ahh, screw this, let’s move onto the main event.  Thanks to Stone Cold for finally yelling Halt.  #fail #Qneedsmorepractice

The Thang:

Round 1:

30 one arm high pull (15R/15L)

20 bicep curls

20 Goblet Squats

10 Burpees

AMRAP while PAX rotates, 2 at a time, dragging the tires out and back.

Round 2:

30 Snatch (15R/15L)

20 Clean and Pres (10R/10L)

20 Sumo High Pull

10 Burpees

AMRAP while PAX rotates, 2 at a time, dragging the tires out and back.

Round 3:

30 Renegade Rows (15R/15L)

20 Good Mornings

20 Swings

10 Burpees

AMRAP while PAX rotates, 2 at a time, dragging the tires out and back.

Round 4:

30 Flutter Presses

20 Pullovers

20 Russian twists

10 Burpees

AMRAP while PAX rotates, 2 at a time, flipping the tires.  2 flips out, 2 flips back.


It isn’t easy to come up with a workout that satisfies the level of pain we’ve come to expect at Skunk Works, without all the running and comments of “I didn’t think this was fast twitch.”  So YHC planned no running and thankfully the cold air held off this morning so we didn’t need it.

So those tires are heavy.  YHC got the idea with some left over swing set chain and rope I used to make jump ropes for kids.  The rope label said “do not use for repelling, or tying down heavy objects. Failure to follow instructions could result in injury or death.”  Warnings?  Warnings are for other people.  Let’s go with it. We dragged them about 10 yards out and back but it felt a lot farther.  Good work by the PAX, it wasn’t easy.  Everyone got through 2 rounds of drags and a round of flips.  As you can see from the photo- the ropes didn’t fair so well.  I’ll have to upgrade next time.

It was good to see Joker out there.  A long hiatus from Skunk Works.  He mentioned what YHC thinks everyone else was feeling:  Where were the 10 counts?  Sorry, no time for those today.


Sign up for the BRR now!  Email Baracus, we need more guys out there.

My phone recorder worked about as well as my 8 count body builders.  I recalled the names I could.  Sorry if I missed you, let me know in the comments if you were there.

Thanks to TR for the send off.


The Weinke Made Me Do It

11 PAX gathered to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. with a Matrix style beat down courtesy of YHC.

The Thang:

Mosey around the lot to shake off the cold weather and the weekend.


SSH x 30

IW x 25

Squats x 25

Merkins x 25, hold for

Mountain Climbers x 25, hold for

Plank Jacks x 25

Indian Run up to street and around to playground

Pain stations:

10 pull ups, 20 squats, 30 derkins and plank-o-rama

10 pull ups, 20 squats, 30 inclined merkins and plank-o-rama

10 pull ups, 20 squats, 30 dips and plank-o-rama

Mosey to stumps:

Reverse lunge into single leg step up on the stump.  10 each leg, then run 100 yards.

Repeat with 20 each leg, then 30 each leg.

Mosey to wall:

2 rounds of peoples chair with some merkins and squats in the middle.

Mary – 30 x Flutter & 30 x Dolly


A quiet group out there today.  Either they were feeling the dread of going back to work on a Monday or the fact that they came to work out at 0530 on their day off.  After the first set of 10 reverse lunge to step ups, there was calls hinting at an audible and mutiny before the set of 30 came.  YHC couldn’t help it at that point – I’m just a slave to the Weinke.  Once it was called there was no turning back.  This was not an exercise you could sprint through, just slow, plodding, and painful.  Good work by the PAX for finishing it out.

Thanks to Salt Lick for the send off.

Looking forward to those who join the Alf Triple Play this week.  YHC on tomorrow at Skunkworks and with Abacus on Saturday at Area 51.


Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike – What day is it?

Q: Who’s happier than a camel on Wednesday?

A: 17 PAX doing Monkey Humpers on the nicest morning of the week.  Pickle was especially happy.  He forgot his gloves and chose other alternatives to keep his, umm… hands warm.


Run around school Fire Lane, pull a wet rock out of the drainage ditch and head to the parking lot.

Seal Jacks x 21

IW x 21

Squats x 20

Merkins x 15 hold ’em for:

Mountain Climbers x 15  hold ’em for:

(YHC note: this was about the time when TR and Bulldog finally stopped the mumble chatter.  They’re like a couple of old ladies playing bridge)

Plank Jacks x 15

The Thang:

Run the perimeter loop of Covenant.  Stopping at each left hand turn for the following:

Jump Squats x20, Monkey Humpers x30, Calf Raises x40  — 6 total stops

Return to your rock and plank-o-rama until the PAX returns

Overhead presses with rock x 50 OYO – run to bus and back

Front raises with rock x 50 OYO – run to bus and back

Grab a partner and wheelbarrow to top of hill, 10 decline merkins for the wheelbarrow, run back down and flapjack.

CDD x 50 OYO  – run to bus and back

Flutter with rock press x 15

Dolly with rock press x 15

LBC x 25

Return rocks and head to cars.

Circle up and grunt out some Jack Webb until the time was up.  I think we hit 7 Merkins.


As a courteous gesture to the Kevlar PAX I tried to save the chest and back for tomorrow’s Murph.  So legs and shoulders were on the docket today.  After the first super set I considered audibling out of the plan for 180 total Monkey Humpers.  It sucked.  But the PAX can Hump.  We powered through it and TR showed a few cars on Covenant Church Ln his best side.

Sometimes when I am working on EHing a guy, I hear myself talk; and my description of what we do sounds absolutely insane.  I realized this morning that this might be true when I headed out at 5am with the thermometer @ 39 degrees and steady rain coming down AND I was giddy about how much better the weather had gotten.

I enjoyed the privilege of Q’ing this group.  My first time at Kevlar.  Bulldog said to draw up something hard and then add more.  I hope it delivered.

Thanks to Salt Lick for the send off.


  • Some rumors about a movie tonight?  I don’t know if anyone has heard about it.  Sounds like its full.  Bring cash, show up early.  If you haven’t responded positively, you probably won’t get into see Lone Survivor but, I hear they a running Steel Magnolia’s in the next theater.  A good tear jerker for those PAX too slow to HC.


Jack Sprints™

YHC was always fascinating by huge sports icons trademarking their own phrases.  The trademarks not only cement their place in history, but also help them get paid!  We’re talking licensing on shirts, hats, ice cream, you name it.  A few of the great trademarks:

  • “Three-Peat” – Pat Riley
  • “Getcha Popcorn Ready” – Terrell Owens
  • “Fear the Brow” – Anthony Davis
  • “Lin-sanity” – Jeremy Lin  *Note:  The ice cream was pulled from the shelf because apparently filling it with fortune cookies and lychee is racist.  #corporatecowards


YHC is going to go for:  Jack Sprints™  Sound off in the comments if you need info on licensing deals.

Without further adieu –   The Thang:

800m warm up jog followed by SSH, IW, and some squats.

Jack Sprints:

For each merkin, sprint 20 meters around track.

  • 5 merkins, 100 meter sprint
  • 10 merkins, 200 meter sprint
  • 15 merkins, 300 meter sprint
  • ….
  • 40 merkins, 800 meter sprint

So 8 rounds of Jack Sprint with 60 to 90 seconds rest between each round.

Finish with a cool down lap around the parking lot, 25 LBC’s, 25 flutter’s and 20 merkins (in cadence)


YHC was looking for ways to throw some upper body pain at the PAX of Fast Twitch.  220 merkins should do the trick.  I missed counted during the workout and told them we were going for 200.  Oops, I got it wrong.  While there is no official record keeping, I figure it has to be close to the record # of merkins for Fast Twitch.

In order to even the playing field a bit we asked the faster runners to hold onto the outside lanes to give them a longer lap on each run.  It didn’t work.  Fletch and Frasier still smoked everyone from the outside lanes.

I enjoyed the workout and it felt much harder in real life than it looked on the Weinke.  Maybe because it was YHC’s first running since Thunder Road.

It’s always an honor to lead the PAX and by the lack of mumble chatter I think everyone was fairly winded.  So it worked.



Tis the season to give back.

Good Fellow’s luncheon:

Support the AG/Billgingsville Christmas celebration: