Author Archive Ackbar

Jingle Bell Rock

Good morning Imperials and Rebel Alliance, Admiral Ackbar here.  So FuseBox kindly asked me if I would Q Chiseled today. Well, I’ve never Q’ed Chiseled, or even been to Chiseled before. Of course I had to be out of town on vacay the Wednesday before. So after reading way too many backblasts and constantly asking FuseBox questions (is there actually a Mt. Chiseled, is there gear available, etc), and after digging out a cinderblock half buried in the backyard, here we go. Hopefully this is “Chiseled” enough. PS, it was very very cold. Not Hoth cold which kills tauntans (and things get messy), but pretty darn cold.

Warm Up

  • Mosey to Mt Chiseled
  • 30 LBSs
  • 20 Mt Climbers
  • 20 Merkins
  • 15 Imperial Walkers
  • Calf Stretch (received much positive feedback here)
  • Downward & Upper Dog

The Thang

Phase 1:

  • 1 Overhead Curl & Press, 5 Squats with block
  • Run to the Mt. and back
  • 2 Overhead, 4 Squats
  • Run to the Mt. and back
  • 3 Overhead, 3 Squats
  • Run to Mt. and back
  • 4 Overhead, 2 Squats
  • Run to Mt. and back
  • 5 Overhead, 1 Squat 
  • Run to Mt. (as usual, I had a hard time explaining it, but it worked out).

Phase 2:

  • Bearcrawl Over Mt. (kinda steep the other side, wasn’t expecting that)
  • 20 Big Boy Situps
  • Bearcrawl Back
  • 20 Big Boy Situps 
  • Plank it up
  • Return to Cinderblock forest (so dubbed by Mad Dog)

Phase 3: JINGLE BELL ROCK (the coup de grace)

  • First, 20 Kettle Bell Swings
  • So I had been saving a version of this for Impromptu. I brought my handy Bluetooth speaker, paid up for Spotify, and now I can play Jingle Bell Rock by Bobby Helms over and over. Bicep Curls with the Blocks every time you hear the word Jingle! Yeah, it says Jingle a lot. The catch, whenever at rest waiting for a new “Jingle,” hold the block at 90 degrees. It’s a long wait at the bridge. By the way, the word Jingle is used 28 times (just counted afterward). So Jingle Bell Bicep Curls!
  • Mosey to Mt Chiseled. 30 Bobby Hurleys. Return to Cinderblock Forest
  • Jingle Bell Rock again with Blocks. This time on your back, holding the block above you, go down and push up on the word Jingle. DO NOT LOCK YOUR ELBOWS. And on the bridge take the block behind you on my command, work those triceps. Equally fun.
  • Mosey to Mt Chiseled. 20 Heels to Heaven. Return to Cinderblock Forest.
  • 20 Kettle Bell Swings
  • Jingle Bell Rock Bicep Curls. (The Christmas spirit felt dimmer this time).
  • Mosey to Mt Chiseled. 15 Mike Tysons. Return to Cinderblock Forest.
  • 20 Kettle Bell Swings.
  • Jingle Bell Rock Presses on your Back with called Tricep Curls (2 this time).
  • Mosey to Mt Chiseled. 10 Burpees (because I have a reputation to maintain, how dare I not do burpees).
  • Returned at 6:15 on the dot!


  • For my first Chiseled, it was fun! I hope it Chiseled appropriately. It’s hard to type right now if that’s any comfort.
  • Props to Schneider on the planks (while waiting for the 6th) to keep those butts down, especially on elbows. (I was one of those…but fortunately he was looking the other way. Whew!)
  • Every time in Jingle Bell Rock when Bobby Helms sang the lyrics, “Giddy-up!,” that was mistaken for a “Jingle.” Every time! It tickled me!
  • Big thanks to FuseBox for his Yoda-like advice as I prepped today’s workout. Bless you sir!
  • The 6th man today was Golden Plates. Golden Plates shared about his name (Golden Plates are the source of the Mormon Bible as he grew up Mormon, apologized to any Mormons for the quick description [as a religious-clergy dude it sounded okay to me!]), how he’s been working out for a few months now, and appreciated the fellowship. “A great bunch of guys.” I spotted Golden Plates busting it hard today, especially with those evil elbow planks. Well done sir and thank you!


  • Q School this Saturday, Nov 21st, 7-9am at Calvary Church (5801 Pineville-Matthews Rd, Charlotte NC 28226). Sign up is on GroupMe.
  • Union UMC says thank you to everyone who has donated to our Children’s Food Drive, to make “Kids Bags” to the children who come with their parents and grandparents to the Thursday Food Drive. We will continue to collect through the month. Look for the Green Poster Boards to find the donation plastic tub (under the bell tower in front of the round building/sanctuary.
  • Union UMC is also sponsoring a family for Christmas. This family is a grandmother raising her 5 grandchildren, ages 2-9. She is a bus driver for UCPS (and many of you know how much I care about our bus drivers, #fedupfather). We have set up a Amazon Wish List, and all purchases will go to our team leader who will wrap and deliver the presents before Christmas (some are necessities, some are gifts). Any help is appreciated. I’ll put a link here and also in GroupMe.

May the Force be with you, and that’s the Jingle Bell Rock!


Impromptu Group #2: I’ve Got a Bad Feeling About This

Back at Impromptu! Good to be back! Recalculating and I planned ahead to keep social distancing rules: if we break 10 guys we’ll split the group and he and I would Q each group. Recal also was an awesome gentleman and made two maps of a workout so we could use the entire Cuthberson campus and not run into each other, mostly. 6am, we counted off. Recal got the #1s, I got the #2s. Know that “I’ve Got a Bad Feeling About This” is a long running line/joke in the Star Wars movies. It’s always said when something bad is about to happen. It’s how I feel about Indian Runs…


The Warm Up:

  • A fun Mosey up to the high school entrance.
  • SSH x 20
  • 15 Imperial Walkers (because Star Wars. We will ALWAYS do our Imperial Walkers!)
  • 20 Merkins
  • Calf Stretch (and somewhere in Union County, Damascus smiled with approval).

The Thang:

The front of the high school served as Home Base. From there we would Mosey to 5 separate locations across campus (my terms; the Echo Chamber, High School Parking Lot, Bus Parking Lot Spot, The Circle, and The Former Transporter Shed, now Rudy Bathroom…I think), do stuff, and Indian Run back to Home Base. Always 5 Burpees at Home Base. We started with 5 Burpees at the start, then…

  • 25 Donkey Kicks
  • Indian Run to Start/5 Burpees
  • Bear Crawl
  • Indian Run to Start/5 Burpees
  • 20 Knee Slaps
  • Indian Run to Start/5 Burpees
  • (I saw a bunny on the way to Transporter/Rudy Shed, so in honor of the bunny), 25 Bobby Hurleys
  • Indian Run to Start/5 Burpees
  • 25 Carolina Dry Docks (Recal suggested Merkins, but the Burpees were adding up, no thank you)
  • Indian Run to Start/5 Burpees
  • 25 more Donkey Kicks
  • Indian Run to Start/5 Burpees
  • Bear Crawl (across the road this time…time was short)
  • Indian Run to Start/5 Burpees
  • Mosey back to the Middle School Parking Lot
  • LBCs for the last 30 seconds, TIME!


  • Thanks to Recal’s awesome map, the workout wasn’t printed on a paycheck envelope like last time for me!
  • I cannot read maps. 2 1/2 years later working out at F3 at Cuthberson…I still can’t figure it out. So I took educated guesses. The gentlemen had lots of commentary about which way to go, shortcuts, and I was occasionally overruled on directions. I was okay with that!
  • Some Indian Runs worked great! Others fell apart. Many jokes were shared; it’s now a Cowboy run, me calling out to Mad Dog at the front to “slow down the engine,” someone observed Indians…engine…punny…uy we’re in trouble.
  • Gator Cub and Xerox busted their butts today! Well done!
  • Fusebox had several things to say, deep wisdom that could change my life, but for the blood pumping in my ears, I couldn’t hear any of it…
  • Mad Dog knows where to go!
  • A jogger asked if we were military as we worked out at the Circle. No we told her, but Mad Dog is, and she thanked him for his service. Rock on man!
  • Sprinkles likes short cuts.
  • I have no legs now.


  • The 100 PAX Challenge is still going on. Any and all gifts and contributions are welcome as they’ll go to a local charity.
  • Q Source is back on Fridays. Shop Dog brought coffee to share! Next week, bring a lawn chair so we can provide distance and still gather!
  • Prayer requests were lifted: Gator Cub’s son is on the mend after a long illness that severely effected his mobility. He still has a long road ahead but a diagnosis and plan is a God send! Mad Dog lifted his father-in-law who is battling cancer and a dear friend/runner who is in grave condition and is needing a lung transplant. Let’s lift them both to God in prayer.
  • I prayed us out. May the Force be with you!

Watchtower/Mos Eisley Cantina Crunch

After a long hiatus, Ackbar returned with many for F3, and my 1st appearance at Watchtower. Thanks Doughboy for asking me. Well we broke the law; no more than 10, and we were at 11…well this is Mos Eisley, a wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious. 10 ft apart and I believe we did that at least.

The Warm Up:

  • Fun Mosey around the school.
  • SSH x 30…I think it was thirty. More than 2o I know, 20 is too few!
  • 15 Imperial Walkers (because Star Wars of course)
  • 20 Merkins
  • 20 Mountain Climbers
  • Calf Stretch (and we recalled Damascus’ love of these stretches)

The Thang:

So this is a modified workout that I’ve been doing once or twice a week while in quarantine, and I call it Burpee Hell. Because it’s hell (at least 100 burpees by the time we finish). (Mad Dog suggested it be something about the Star Wars Mos Eisley Cantina, so a new name was born). Did some audibles in the workout too, so this is MOSTLY correct:

  • 10 Burpees (if modifying, no less than 7. If you finish early plank it up).
  • 50 Air Presses
  • 10 Burpees
  • 40 LBCs
  • 10 Burpees
  • 30 Lunges (both legs equals one)
  • Fun Mosey around the parking lot
  • 20 Mike Tysons
  • 10 Burpees
  • Long Bear Crawl
  • 10 Burpees
  • 15 Mike Tysons
  • 10 Burpees
  • 30 Lunges (both legs equals one)
  • At this point, I overheard some gentlemen whining about not covering major distance. Fine then, let’s Mosey around the school and get your precious mile in! Everyone’s a critic. 😉
  • 20 Carolina Dry Docks (once I remembered the blasted name!)
  • 40 LBCs
  • 10 Burpees
  • 60 Air Presses
  • 10 Burpees
  • Mosey back to the parking lot meeting place!


  • When I asked Fusebox to give us a 1o count or 5 count, he counts very fast……
  • Great job gentlemen keeping up with the 6th man. We finish together!
  • I screwed up on calling the Carolina Dry Docks. The blank stares got my attention. Eek!
  • So I have this workout on my phone, but was using my phone for music (I like music when I workout. I don’t like listening to my own breath). Crap, gotta write it down. Need paper! Dig in the car, found an envelope, wrote it down, problem solved. Well Schneider & Goodfella get to studying it, and recognized it was blue lined, so a paycheck? Yes, it was the envelope for it! I’m recycling! You can thank me for the extra blue skies!!! (well, all of us together, but it adds up!).
  • My chops were definitely busted today! I feel loved…


  • Goodfella, Mad Dog, and Carb Load are on Q tomorrow at Dromedary
  • The 100 PAX Challenge is here. Our goal is that every PAX raises $100 to go to a local charity. Any and all donations are welcome, even if it’s $5, it’ll help our neighbors.
  • FuseBox shared that Chiseled will switch to a high exercise boot camp, no gear (darn you Covid-19). Rocks are available though. Rudy is on Q. Goodfella suggested that if you have cinder-blocks, they would be helpful for future workouts.
  • We took a knee to pray out, and that’s it. May the Force be with you!


Amazing Race Feb 2020

Happy Friday everyone, Ackbar here! Today was another cold southern morning, which may be muggy and warm the next. It’s the last of the month, so that means Recalculating’s Amazing Race! Distance-wise, my Pokemon Go’s tracker clocked in 3.5-4 kms. It’s what I got…I’m a dork I know it. Everyone busted their tails today, well done, and here’s how it went down.


  • Mosey to the Middle School parking lot, as usual.
  • 20 Side Straddle Hops (Recal sorta ended at 19, many were confused)
  • 20 Merkins
  • A beloved Calf Stretch (I can hear Damascus’ approval from afar)
  • (It’s possible I missed something, I was in a fog)
  • One more Mosey around the parking lot


Recalculating divided us into teams of 3 for the Amazing Race. 5 stops. And it went like this:

  • Stop #1: 50 Bobby Hurley’s in front of the path toward Rudy’s Shed. Hurley indeed…
  • Stop #2: 50 Donkey Kicks at Rudy’s Shed (They add up.)
  • Stop #3: 40 Overhead Presses with evil cinderblocks in the HS parking lot (“It’s a trap!”)
  • Stop #4: 25 Mike Tysons in the other HS parking lot (there was much rejoicing, yay).
  • Stop #5: 50 Step Ups in front of the HS (they add up quickly!).
  • After each stop we return to the front of the MS for 5 burpees. 

Here are our teams and results, and thank you Recal for sending me this!

Gold Medal Team #5
Silver Medal Team #3
Bronze Medal Team #2
Aluminum Medal Team #1
Ricky Bobby
Tin Medal Team #4

After the race, there was a lot of Mary-ing with extra time available, as every team finished! Moseyed back to the MS Parking Lot, and wrapped up.


  • Everyone busted their butts today. It was also awesome to see that everyone finished with extra time! We all finished the race, so everyone won! Gold stars for everyone!
  • I confess that I was not in top shape today, DRAGGING…but my teammates Bottlecap and Schneider were super encouraging. Thank you my brothers!
  • Sorry I can’t post the map on the Backblast…I like to think I’m computer savvy, in this case I’m stumped. You’ll have to use your imaginations!
  • Thank you Recalculating for leading Impromptu today! Indeed it was an Amazing Race! 


  • The Father/Daughter dance is on March 6th. Sign up is at
  • There were many prayers lifted, spouses, parents, in-laws, and I believe many left unsaid. Pray, think positive thoughts, we carry each other, lighten the loads, and the world is made right.

Signing off, may the Force be with you!

Revenge of the Sixth (Pick up the 6th)

This was my 3rd Q to lead, and was on “late” notice. Noteworthy because I injured my knee over 3 weeks ago and am now just rehabbing it. Some suspected frustration with the road construction would lead to an intense workout. Actually, being knocked out via my knee created frustration, so time to get to work, with lots of Star Wars references. The title is in regards to me, taking it slower to return to full speed, I’m the 6th today. Which was fine, but I had to attach that to a catchy title.

Lap from Brooklyn Pizza to behind Target which included grass running, and to warm up in the Target parking lot.
42 Side Straddle Hops (to honor the 42 theaters that debuted Star Wars IV nationwide in 1977. That’s it!)
20 Merkins
20 Imperial Walkers. Star Wars, you know…
20 Mountain Climbers
Calf Stretch

The Thang: 
So taking off like light-speed we headed across the street (Transporter discovered there is a crosswalk at the traffic light, BRILLIANT!) to in front of Harris Teeter. We engaged in the Death Star Fish:
3 Burpees in the center
20 Imperial Squat Walkers
20 Speed Skaters
20 Carolina Dry Docks
20 Peter Parkers
After that it was off to get rocks just off the HT parking lot. Think of it at having Yoda on your back while Jedi Training, or them being a giant pile of Banda Poopo. There we took step lunges to the parking median with the rocks over our heads, quickly nicknamed the Death Star trench. We took partners, one runs around the parking lot, the other the following;

100 Squat Thrusts AUDIBLE AUDIBLE; 66 Squat Thrusts (66 in honor of the Emperor’s Secret Plan to ambush and kill most of the Jedi Knights, see, Revenge of the Sith/6th)
66 Bicep Curls
50 Tricep Curls
Some finished early, so you got to do more while the last people finished their laps. Then we lunge walked with our rocks over our heads again, and returned to the Starting Point near Hickory Tavern.
Next was a circuit around the parking lot and the following exercises, but due to time running out some passed on running and did the exercises:
20 Knee Slap Jump Squats
30 LBCs
20 Step Ups
20 Derkins
20 Mike Tysons
And we wrapped up! The Sith were defeated!

The Moleskine
– Props to so many who picked up the 6th today, which was often me. We work together and that’s awesome!
– I got a lot of dirty looks today, which makes me happy. Asylum is supposed to push us! And I promise my knee was hurt, even with all the knee exercises!
– Most stayed for Q Source, rock on! Thank you Shop Dawg for leading, which the discussion also referenced teamwork, picking up the 6th, and building each other up as leaders.

– Bible Study Tonight at Brooklyn Pizza, 7:30pm.
– F3 Dads is on week 3 now! Every Saturday at Dogwood Park. It’s for any kids 3 and up, boys and girls. They get names and everything!
– Speed for Need; Sept 14th.
May the Force be with you!

‘Round the Horn

My 2nd led Q ever, so I resume the authority of Admiral Ackbar, but finished planning the Q during the Duke vs Mich St game. The workout reflected my frustration with this loss (ugh, but that’s how it goes with too many close games), but this was a great way to kill stress! 5 gentlemen joined for the Q as we began.

Lap from Brooklyn Pizza to behind Target which included grass running (and it was rather dark, some suspected I was out to take their lunch money. Maybe a Sith would, but I’m Admiral Ackbar! I’m one of the good guys), and to warm up in the Target parking lot.
30 Side Straddle Hops
15 Imperial Walkers (it’s the only Star Wars theme today)
10 Merkins
10 Mountain Climbers
Calf Stretches

The Thang:
‘Round the Horn is pretty simple. Starting at Hickory Tavern, you run to the roundabout, turn left to run in front of Target, turn left again at the corner to run in front of PetSmart, turn left again at the corner to return to Hickory Tavern where the dubbed “Evil Easel” awaited (I love my kid’s easel). There you would do the asked exercise, and ‘Round the Horn again. Return, do the first exercise again and add the 2nd, ‘Round the Horn, and then do 1, 2, and 3, rinse and repeat while jamming to my kids’ favorite music. Here is the list.
10 Burpees
15 Merkins
20 Step Ups
40 LBCs
50 Squats
25 Mike Tysons
A couple of gentlemen finished the entire set (Smokey and Swimmers I think), while more modified at the end (myself among them).

The Moleskine
– I like the name Evil Easel. I may give it a break next time, but it has a nice ring to it.
– Props to Smokey & Swimmers leading the way ‘Round the Horn.
– Chastain get some great modifications toward the end which helped the rest of us who were running out of gas and time.
– Great work Loafer, you brought it today!
– Shop Dawg, you da man. Excellent work today!
– I have no clue how long ‘Round the Horn is each lap, just that it’s uncomfortably uphill on that corner of the Target parking lot.
– My kids enjoy Queen, Bob Seger, Michael Jackson, and of course Toto’s Africa! Good workout music!
– Props to Shop Dawg for leading Q School afterward, thank you sir.

Bible Study Tonight at Brooklyn Pizza, 7:30pm.
May the Force be with you!

Battle of Hoth (Star Wars Empire Strikes Back)

So Ackbar finally led his first Q today, so a VQ with 5 other brave souls on Planet Hoth, also known as Asylum at Brooklyn Pizza. The workout was heavy inspired by two things; Star Wars, and the need to keep moving to keep the cold at bay. Here are the details:

The Warm Up – Lap around Target to warm up.
42 Side Shuttle Hops. (Trivia, Star Wars IV, the first debuted in only 42 theaters in 1977, as FOX expected the “kids space movie” would be a major flop…)
20 Mountain Climbers
20 Merkins
20 Imperial Walkers (Because Star Wars!)
10 Potato “Yoda” Pickers
Hold for Stretch

The Thang – First was the Star Wars Trilogy Circuit, the number 3 meaning 3 burpees. A run from Hickory Tavern to Brooklyn Pizza required 3 burpees at BP, and upon the return a series of 20 exercises were required, stacking up with each circuit. This included:
20 Low Slow Squats (which soon became squats)
20 LBCs
20 Step Ups
20 Dips
20 Derkins
20 Bobby Hurleys
20 Plank Jacks

Afterward we moved to the Target Parking Lot for what Posse renamed the “Death Star Fish,” which I like better than Star Fish. This included:
Burpee in the center
20 Imperial Squat Walkers
20 Jumping Knee Touches
20 Carolina Dry Docks
20 Peter Parkers
Then it was time to return to the parking lot, ended with “hovers,” whatever they are called…

The Moleskin – The cold became a great motivator to move!
– Brad’s son Lane “allowed” him to use his easel to record the Star Wars Trilogy Circuit for reference. No worries, it has been returned (image below via Twitter)
– Chastain pushed it despite having gone above and beyond on Saturday. Well done!
– Legal Zoom had a great observation regarding the quality of the Star Wars movie The Last Jedi, complete with an F Bomb. Ackbar approved.
– Star Wars music is great to work out to.
– The Pros helped Ackbar navigate a couple of quirks. Overall it seemed to go smoothly. The rebels have defeated the Empire!
– No one could agree how much time we had left. A 3 minute difference and everyone gets all worked up.
– The Force was strong with these men. Very impressive work!
– Ackbar’s official given name was “Admiral Ackbar,” but he never was comfortable assuming the rank as it was unearned. After today, Admiral Ackbar feels earned and will go by Ackbar or Admiral Ackbar, or Admiral, or any other creative F3 language.

Announcements: Sanctuary Bible Study is tonight at Brooklyn Pizza at 7:30. Snowflake is leading tonight and we are going to talk about King Solomon.
– Smokey led QT, or Q Talks, I can’t remember the title. Sorry. We will all aim to be goal-setting lizards and not leeches! Well done sir!
– Keep Goodfella in mind as he gives some love and support to his friend up in New Jersey, as his friend’s wife has died from cancer. Prayers lifted to Goodfella’s friend and family.
– Q School is coming up this Saturday! Here’s the link, thanks Posse!

That’s it. May the Force be with you!

Backblast Prototype…Q-School, thing…

So here is Ackbar’s attempt at a Backblast, because that’s my homework. Posse and Moneyball were our teachers. The Force is strong with them, us students were ready to learn. So here we go, best I can remember at this late hour:

Warm Up

Prof Moneyball took us a mosey around the “normal path,” and either before or after lectured us of the necessity of the disclaimer. Don’t sue, don’t sue, your responsibility. Understood.

This was followed by 55 STH. Each student had to do five in cadence, and that added up quickly.

Then around the circle each student had to lead a brief warmup workout to get our pacing and counts right.

The Main Workout

We then Moseyed to front of middle school. We were instructed how to “watch for the 6,” or instruct the faster guys ahead of time to do Planks or Marys. No rest, as it were.

We then Partnered in Pairs:

1st – 50 Dips – One Partner does dips, 2nd Partner runs half of the parking lot

2nd  – 50 Steps Ups – One Partner does Steps Ups, 2nd Partner runs across the lot to the grass and back

Mosey to the big steps at the High School were a few buses park. It’s a handy loop for Stairs fun or Moneyball’s Triple Nickel Can’t Count Thing.

1st –  Calf Raises and 2 laps

2nd – Triple Nickel Can’t Count Thing. 5 burpees at the bottom, run up the hill, and 5 squats at the top. It cut off before I could finish my last round, thus the subjective counting thing. Just as well, I was running out of steam…so thanks!

Back to the Middle School for the Starfish. I think it was a Starfish, having 4 corners  and a “center of the universe,” a Moneyball quote.  We did 5 Speed-Skaters at the center and 5 low squats at the corners. That was fun.

Concluding with a Jail Break to COT.


The Moleskin

  1. This name bothers me. Ever seen Naked Mole Rats? Their skin is freaky. Thank you NatGeo.
  2. Posse and Moneyball are great teachers, but Moneyball kept me laughing too much. I really needed that extra oxygen…
  3. Everyone worked hard and participated. Great questions too, some of the unsaid stuff being raised.



Sorry I missed the coffee afterwards.

I learned what “hospital name” means. I literally thought “hospital? Someone sick?” In my field going to the hospital goes in that direction, not your actual name. Seriously, someone says “Brad” at Q and I’ll be genuinely confused.

Hope this cuts the mustard as far as a BackBlast goes. I’ll aim for more Star Wars illustrations when I do another.