Glassy McGlasserson

Glassy McGlasserson

Sup homies.

Wednesday morning came and went and 9 dudes came out to the gnarliest Wednesday workout that is only as bad as you want it to be –  called WAMRAP.

Lots of the regulars plus the triumphant return of Mile High & the tapering Turkey Leg who is allowing his legs to come back to life after a marathon – where he always kicks ass.

My biggest challenge in planning WAMRAP isn’t coming up with ideas, it’s deciding which ideas are stupid to do. And being a stupid man it takes me longer than it should to plan it out.

After a terrible beatdown from Flipper last week that actually wasn’t very hard to understand (but incredibly hard to recover from)  I wanted to keep the pace moving forward so laid down last night and pictured the concrete structure in my head and came up with the following plan:

The Thang 

• Bottom of the deck – 15 full sit-ups
• Run to Top
• Top of stairs – 15 merkins
• Corner 1 – 15 full jump squats
• Middle Ramp – Uphill Burpee Broad Jump + 15 donkey kicks
• Corner 2 – 15 of the things when you put your hands on the wall and then back down again (someone tell me how to spell and say that) Mar Tal Jai? Wall Tar Jai? Mar A Lago Orange Guy?
• Top of stairs – 15 merkins
• Run to Bottom
• Bottom of deck – 15 full situps
• Run to Dog Piss Heaven Grass Patch and do 1 burpee (add 1 each lap)
• Plyo finisher instead of COT

Molëskîne 

Glass was everywhere today. I have no idea how no one had ripped up a digit doing merkins but it’s gonna happen.

Pretty sure Alf and McGee take bottles of Colt 45 to the top deck, drink 2 each then roll them down the stairs on Tuesday night to add excitement to the workout….but not before talking about how they should have been the starting QB in high school and how Rick Reynolds couldn’t even throw a screen pass and had no business being the starter.

Word is on the street, back in ’89, McGee could throw a pigskin a quarter mile. He actually wasn’t even there today but he’s still getting some recognition  – after we played telephone talking about his skiing injury, the jury declared that he broke his coccyx. No idea if that’s true. Could just be a bruise.

Back to Alf tho – I typically stay right on his tail but could not today. He was flying through the route with ease and once I lost him I definitely dialed it back a bit. He shared his strategy which he learned back in college during an Arby’s Roast Beef eating contest. So the story goes, his friend would crush a few of them down quickly and then he could slow down once the field realized they were 2 sandwhiches behind.

Flipper took the workout seriously and was killing it as well. You could tell by his speed but I could tell by him being the first guy to go sleeveless in 2021 which is always a brave move. Who’s next? I’ve got a great lineup of tanks that I’m really eager to pull out of the closet. By mid-June you can find a trail of shirts slewn across the top deck sitting in a pool of sweat. Add that to the glass, gum, throw up, bags of 3 day old food and you really have one of the best AOs out there. It feels like working out on a church mission trip to Bolivia.

Mile High has been speeding up every week at Sunday Soccer and making F3 a regular thing again. He’s a big/tall dude but don’t underestimate the breakaway speed. Good to see him back out there.

At the 6:10 roundup, Christmas and Iron Sides were knocking out lap 5 or 6 and I found a large group running together talking about David Goggins and probably considering doing one of his crazy challenges. F3 guys have a weakness for guys like this and have moved from Jocko to Goggins as they become more radicalized to try and find a way to workout 8 days a week.

These guys use intense words, 4am twitter posts and crazy stupid workouts to make you think that you’re only giving 40% when you are literally puking over the edge of a parking deck in South Charlotte wondering what you’ve done with your life.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve read several of their books and love these guys but for me, the workout hero who doesn’t get enough credit?? Richard Simmons. Dude worked out with ten thousand women in neon spandex throughout the 80’s, and what was the result?  Zero sex scandals. Exercise hero.

Shared some personal news about another baby on the way and got lots of advice on how to NOT make a woman pregnant. Alf gave me his vasectomy doctor and said he does really great work, and in his multiple visits has never cut off anything he wasn’t supposed to. Pop Tart recommended abstinence. He must have Richard Simmons type skills.

Super fun morning – F3 is a blessing and I’m grateful you guys were willing to follow me into the gloom.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

• Happy Feet Invitational 5/2 – 6v6 soccer tournament – takes 2 mins to sign up. See Christmas/Mile High/Orange Whip OR
• Just do it right now:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScUIP0KuMjTUGMhfkeolnObt8eYjUFrvnFc3zXvIKniv27JsA/viewform?usp=send_form&usp=embed_facebook

Copied from Flipper’s backblast last week…..

• -WTF Ragnar style trail relay on 5/1 (see Dasher)
• -South Mountain CSAUP on 4/17 (see Midriff)
• -Keep your eyes peeled for an announcement for a Stonhenge-Davinci CSAUP thingy (see War Eagle)
• -Functional Fitness Challenge (https://f3southcharlotte.com/?p=418671)
• -Rutbreaker Series Details coming soon (see slack channel or Flipper)