Beer Miles for Covid, a Pre-blast

  • When:3/19/2021
  • QIC: Hoover

Beer Miles for Covid, a Pre-blast

March 19th, 2021 will be one year since the C-19er lockdowns kicked off.  It started with CA leading the way for every governor to collectively s#!t their pants over Covid, cancelling every activity except breathing, and giving the president license to get on national TV with a bunch of “doctors” and “scientists” to provide a step-by-step process for injecting lysol wipes.  Meanwhile, we couldn’t find lysol wipes or toilet paper, every adult started day drinking on zoom calls with our coworkers, and every parent was slapped in the face with the cold reality that they were all licensed NC educators and didn’t even know it.  YHC’s application to the NC teacher’s union is still pending, and no teacher’s paycheck yet but YHC is hopeful.

Oh, and by the way your crazy Uncle Donnie sent you some money to support your drinking habits (don’t ask where he got the money from) and Grandpa Joe’s gonna send you another check soon.  #BestGrandpaEver

As the one-year anniversary of this epic cluster-f*#k approaches, let’s celebrate the only way we know how.  By having an in-person CSAUP, with day drinking for the participants, at a location funded by your tax dollars where children would congregate in non-Covid times.

Men, I give you the Beer Mile for Covid.  The rules are simple, drink beer (12 ozs @ >= 5% ABV) and run (1/4 mile at a time).  Do that 4 times, puking optional, and you’ll be forever memorialized as a Beer Mile participant in a backblast somewhere.  Or you won’t be, it all depends on someone writing said backblast.

This is a tradition that we cherish so much it was cancelled in 2020 faster than a liberal with a twitter account and a hashtag cancels a celebrity.  Such a beloved event that despite Gummy’s multiple attempts to resuscitate it, no one has taken the bait.  So YHC proposes we do this on 3/19, one year after TO THE DAY that this crap wasn’t just reported on CNN and denied by Fox News, but started to impact all of us.

Here’s the official rules:

Join the #beermile channel on slack for more updates.  Spread the word at workouts and keep training, because let’s admit it.  No one stopped training on March 19th, 2020.


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Hoover author

Commonly mistaken for sasquatch

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