8 Pax (or 16% of my graduating class [or 100% of the honor grads]) came out to see what a full 13-year alum of the finest institution in northern Lancaster County could produce on his home turf. While 2nd grade was the toughest 3 years of my matriculation, I was eager to show what I had learned.
The first test was literacy. I put out the word on all channels last night that a headlamp would be required this morning. Everyone passed except Atlas. Playing the loophole that he HAD one, but it wasn’t charged, left me dim. I had a spare for my fellow Sandlapper-educated student.
More questions from my DiCCS:
Who has a cell phone? Fredo answers “In my car.” Sorry, I was looking for “On my body.” That’s OK, here’s your consolation prize.
Who has both the knowledge & desire to save another man’s life using CPR? Now Fredo comes roaring back with that hand flying high!
No question from the Pax as to why one leg of my gray sweatpants had tons of brown stains. I don’t know how to interpret that. Male Pattern Blindness? Don’t ask questions you don’t really want to know the answer to? Y’all have been around Paper Jam, Rudy, & Transporter too much?
The Warmup
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The Thang
Run to the end of the parking lot to get a head of steam to start jumping over the walls up front. I can’t tell if Atlas is happy or not as he reminisces that he would do this with Pebbles back in the day. Further back in my day, we would call this Elementary School “woods”, because it didn’t exist.
This would be the only time Fuse comes in last for the morning. Front of the class for the rest of the time.
Mosey around the corner to the bus lot. Proving that Warriors have an extra appendage somewhere, we see numbers posted 1 – 12. That tells us how many Mike Tysons to do, run to the end & back. Then move to the next number.
Cross the bus lot safely as a group & mosey to the edge of the abyss. Quick callout that we are about to go down a series of steep hills in the dark. We’re heading to the practice field (or as I used to call it, the VIP section of the stadium gravel parking).
There are 8 tires of various sizes lined up along one side of the field. Most have little to no muddy water in them because I have flipped as much of it as will come out; hence the stains on my pants.
Flip it 5 times, then run to the end of the field & back. Repeat until you & tire are on the other side. Pick a lighter, smaller tire & you can flip easier, but you’ll have more runs; a heavier tire is harder, but you run less. Kirby is in his element here. Talks about how he & his coworkers do this for fun. Periscope had unique form on his flip – reach inside the tire & pull. Soft Pretzel excelling on this as well. Roll it back to where you found it when finished.
Mosey to the fully opened gate leading into the stadium; in my day we called it the stadium, too. #Timeless
We ran the bleachers with Gas Pumpers at the top. Take that Weddington! #ABetterWarrior
We passed by the concession stand where I rarely got anything for fear of messing up my uni.
The far left section is where the coolest of the cool sat – the band!
Head on down to the track. Yep, pitch black with no cameras & no fence to hop. Good thing Damascus doesn’t read BB’s anymore.
4 corners with Rosalita, Heels to Heaven, Dolly’s & Flutters.
Lot of memories here: homecoming court riding down in convertibles while the band has to play “Think of Laura” on a loop for 20 minutes; trying to pole vault in the end zone while not clearing a single height so Santini & I end up just wrasslin’ on the mats; running loops on crushed sand (at the time) trying to process my Mom’s terminal cancer diagnosis & death.
Back up the bleachers to get to the (now) HS parking lot. Pick a partner of opposite ability. I’ve had my eye on SP for quite a while now.
Start at one end of the parking lot. P1 runs to the other end & back. P2 does 1 burpee in the parking space, then bear crawls to the next space for another burpee. Repeat until P1 returns. Good times. SP always made sure to get 1 more burpee in before we swapped. #HIM #MABA
Head back along the back road (that didn’t exist) behind the middle school (that was my high school). Under the overhang we paused for a Mountain Climber Medley:
10 MC
10 Dying Cockroach
10 MC
10 Box Cutters
10 MC
Back on the road again. Pause once more for Plank Jacks. Were it not for Fuse calling for Pax to get out of the road because a car was coming, most of us would likely be dead (or injured [or relieved to catch a quick breather]). #No10Counts
Since the car killed our vibe without killing us, I decided to just mosey on to COT.
Still 2 minutes left? Perfect…
“Y’all ever hear of an exercise named ‘The Motivator’?”
Slack-jawed stares (like me watching the Clemson – Ohio State game last week) 🐯
“Learned it doing a virtual workout with either Princeton or Omaha. It seems to be popular in those parts.”
I know I take too long to describe something new, so I just gave the basic descriptions & said to follow along. This is the only exercise I’ve seen that’s not done in cadence or civilian count, but in UNISON. You wouldn’t know it from this bunch, though. Pretty easy to see who graduated valedictorian in his class today.
Das Boot & I have made a vow not to describe The Motivator in print, but to just have it in our weinkie (he got my hint to use the virtual workouts as extra counts for his Passport win [you didn’t think it was odd that he had more posts than we have AO’s?]). I think it went over well because I saw a couple Pax tap out; not out of boredom but because their calves seized up.
When it was over (to the second), Kirbs called me Jane Fonda. Again, don’t know how to take that.
Moleskine
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