Monthly Archive January 2021

Fine I’ll do it

In the off chance Madison decides to write a backblast then I’ll delete this one, but his last one is from September, so I think this one will be hanging around.

“Why, Chastain, how kind and altruistic of you!” Nope, just here to get credit. Lame? Maybe, but come December let’s see who’s laughing and who’s whining.

But I digress…

12 pax arrived at the 3rd official Clean Slate workout in history. Madison, though not to be trusted with his writing abilities, was certainly up to the challenge in the pax leading abilities.

We moseyed, we did SSHs, Imperial Walkers, Clam Diggers (Potato Pickers), and some other warm up things

Moving along to the playground we rotated through a few rounds of pull-ups, Romanian Dead Lifts, and some weird swing thing Madison learned in the bedroom.

Moving on to the track we did some 4 corners with 20 Merkins, 20 LBCs, 20 Dry Docks, but only 10 Heels to Heavens because apparently they “take too long”. By the way, part of the track was flooded so only 2 of the pax were brave enough to do the whole lap.

Now Madison tells the pax to find a partner. Speed doesn’t matter, apparently, but he then proceeds to instruct us to play Catch Me If You Can. The chasing partner must do 10 Merkins first. All the way to the front of the high school.

A round of Tysons and wall jump burpees then the world’s worst Indian run where I think only 1 out of 12 pax actually ran to the front.

At the basketball court Madison had hidden a basketball. The pax were instructed to plank while each pax attempted a free throw. Successful free throws reduced the exercise count by 5. Starting at 25 we did three rounds of Merkins, Jump Squats, and Burpees. I don’t remember the numbers but we didn’t reduce them by much.

Back to COT with just a few minutes remaining. I think we did a few air presses in the wall, but ultimately ended with some Mary as time expired.


Clean Slate is a massive campus. Madison ran us all over the place and there’s still so much we haven’t seen. If you haven’t tried it out, make the drive, do a workout, then sign up to Q.


Waxhaw Blood Drive in January 30th at Five Stones from 9 to 1. Sign up now.

Waxtravaganza CSAUP on February 6th starting at 7:30 at The Floater. Lots of miles, lots of workouts, and lots of 2nd and 3rd Fs, including the Waxhaw Tap Room afterwards. Come to all or part of it

Engine Start System Malfunction

Eleven braved a cold icy morning at Calvary.  Eight appeared on Floor Slapper’s schedule, one arrived an hour early and was napping in his vehicle, and one joined us in the midst of our warm-up run.  Those at Anvil on the 13th may recognize the routine which was adjusted ever so slightly to extend 15 minutes, at least that was the plan.

Warm-up:  Ran to oval.  15 each of side straddle hops, imperial walkers, low slow squats, mountain climbers, and Peter Parkers.

1st series:  Ran to the rock pile at the North entry off 51.  There with lifting rocks we did curls, presses, and triceps as we walked around the circle three times.

2nd series:  Next we ran to the middle entry to north parking lot.  Started there with 25 merkins, then ran to west end of lot and did 25 LBC’s, then ran to the other side of lot across from the start area and did 25 jump squats, then to the east end of the lot for 5 burpees.  Then back around to the start and repeated four more times but lowered to 20 reps, 15, 10 and ended with 5 reps (remaining burpee reps were 4-3-2-1).

Planked to wait for all to finish, at least some of us did.

3rd series:  Ran to hot box and partnered up.  Partner 1 did step ups, while partner 2 ran to the 2nd light post and back.  But before the swap, our hot box was commandeered by two women exercising (they were very nice about it).  We adjusted to people’s chair on the wall with air presses briefly and then moved on to the next series.

4th series:  Ran to rock pile past cemetery and got a lifting rock.  Partner 1 did overhead extensions lying on back while partner 2 ran to the last tree island in that parking lot and back.  Swapped.  Repeated next with press and flutter, and then big boy sit ups with rocks.

5th series:  Ran to bench/tables near Church entrance at start.  All were iced over, so we couldn’t do step-ups and had to adjust on the fly.  Thanks to Udder’s suggestion we ran an eleven series up and down much of the east Rea Road entrance road with LBC’s at the top and merkin’s.  At finish, ran back to start and circled up for close out.  Various Fitbit’s, Garmin’s and other trackers clocked us at four miles.  Three joined us from Olympus there.

Announcements/Prayer:  Jet Fuel has Rock Zero Q next Saturday (23rd).  Mighty-Mite’s blood drive with anti-body testing.  Hoover solicited runners for a 75 mile run to Greenville in September and said slots fill up fast so sign up early.  Hoover was on a fast pace today prepping for it.  Thanks to Udder for closing us out with a prayer.  Thanks also to site Q’s Hoover and Geraldo.

“Engine start system malfunction” was what greeted me as I started my car and drove to Starbuck’s for coffee.  I made it home and its since been towed to the dealer.

Sorry Premature, I take my time.

Frozen Fog?:

Belated BB here boys, sorry Premature. A dozen pax joined me on a morning that my phone said “frozen fog” in the weather app. Not sure I’ve seen that one before, but couldn’t fartsack a Q. Remembered I was on Q while taking my son to hoops the night before, so I talked and he wrote as we knocked out the workout.


Mosey, then 25X each IC: SSH, IW, 3 burpees then mosey to new spot. 25X each hand release merkins, mountain climbers, calf stretch.


Partner up and grab a rock. One partner runs with a burpee at far corner of track, other partner starts 150 each team exercises. Curls, Tri extensions, presses. Mary til the 6 comes in.

Repeato with new exercises 100 each team: hanging rows, rock squats, bench press

Mosey to covered area picnic tables: 20X each, Dips, step ups, Derkins

Wall squat with 25 each, air presses, jabs

Repeat dips, step ups, Derkins.

Mosey to COT to finish with some ab work.


Great work from the crew today. Not a talkative bunch. Got good work in and everyone was encouraging the rest of the pax throughout the workout. Glad I was able to Q this one and glad that Smuggler stepped up to Q the Last Call launch on Friday or we may have been running this one back..

Four Corners of Pain with Rifle Carry


Well it was time to bring out Premature’s cones of pain. Set alarm early and drove to Kensington Elementary School parking lot to setup the four corners of pain using the cones. Once complete, drove to the Millbridge Parking lot and setup the next four corner series of exercises. This completed the setup and headed to Commitment AO.


The warm-up started with a Mosey to Millbridge Parking and finished with some stretching exercises:

  • 15 Low slow squats
  • 15 Imperial walkers
  • 10 Merkins
  • Left and right leg runners stretch
  • 10 Upward and downward dog
  • Explained the Thang


PAX split up into three teams of four to start four corners of pain. Once the team completes the first exercise, PAX meet up in the middle and hold in plank for the six. When entire PAX was together, completed two burpees and proceeded to next corner. This continued until all pain stations were complete except the burpee count keep doubling: two first round, four second, then eight, and finally sixteen.

  • 20 Dips on curb
  • 20 Heels to heaven
  • 20 Dry docks
  • 20 Squats
  • 20

Next, PAX Mosey to Kensington Elementary School to find a lifting and running rock. Mad Dog stated clearly “Chose wisely.” By the way, good advise. PAX rifle carried the rock to the first school parking lot to start the next set of four corners of pain. Same process as the first, except the exercises were different and PAX had to rifle carry the rock at all times. The exercises had to be completed using the rock as well:

  • 20 Squats
  • 20 Merkins, 10 per side
  • 20 V- ups
  • 20 Curls

Last but not least, PAX rifle carry rock to the top parking lot to meet Lieutenant Dan. All nine guys lined up along the curb to start with one Big Boy sit-up, run rifle carry to other side of parking lot, four reverse lunges, and run rifle carry back. This continued for eight rounds ending with eight Big Boys sit-ups and 32 reverse lunges.


I want to recognize Turnbuckle since he walked/ran the entire time and distance along with completing all the exercises! Well done and proud of ya!

Mosey back to COT


Blood Drive Jan 30 Five Stones Church

Need support to fold clothes at Christ Church

Neighborhood walk Marvin Creek 1/17

Feb 6 CSAUP – Carb Load and Tuck

Rice and Beans signup

Banjo and his Gout

7 PAX showed up for the reemergence of Banjo‘s gout.  After a quick disclaimer and deep dive of what causes gout flare-ups, we decided that Banjo is full of crap about doing Dryuary started the workout.  As part of disclaimer, Zin brilliantly let everybody know that you can’t sue the Q because YOU will be the Q at some point today.  Zin’s creative juices are apparently waning after not drinking for 15 straight days posting at 8 workouts this week.


  • Warmup
  • Light Pole suicide
    • 10 Squats back
    • 10 Merkins up
    • Repeat until Speed Bump’s hands froze so Gerber had to go get him gloves 5 poles


  • Smoked Shoulders
    • Mountain Climbers with hands on wall x 10 IC
    • People’s Chair with air presses x 10 IC
    • Balls to Wall hip slaps x 10 IC
    • Repeato
  • Ab Partner work
    • P1 runs lap
    • P2 does Abs
      • 2 rounds of Heels to Heaven
      • 2 rounds of Dolly


  • Light Pole suicide part 2 up the hill
    • 5 burpees and 5 big boys at each light pole
  • Light Pole Paula Abdul down the hill
    • Speed Skaters x 10
    • Bonnie Blairs x 10
  • Terrible Webb
    • 1 Big Boy
    • 1 American Hammer IC
    • 4 Merkins
    • Increase Big Boys and Hammers by 1 all the way to 10


  • Parking Lot 3-stop Torture
    • Merkins x 10 on one side of parking lot
    • LBC x 10 at middle of parking lot
    • Burpees x 10 at other side of parking lot
    • Repeat x 3


  • Audible after realizing benches are frozen
  • Dips x 20
  • Lap around lot
  • Step ups x 20
  • Lap around lot
  • Dips x 20



  • Gout Get better soon Banjo . . . We miss you
    • The balls to wall hip slaps were an Ode to you
  • Speed Bump is VISCIOUS
    • He jumped right in asking for a shot at the Q and proceeded to kill us with those 10 burpees
  • Gerber is a good dad
    • Selflessly gave his gloves to Speed Bump and ran to get extra gloves from the car
  • Blue Screen is a hoarder
    • He talked about cleaning out his attic after 20 years . . . Get ready for some “New” sweatshirts to be seen at an AO near you
  • Honeycomb is a drag racer
    • He mentioned “some kids” get onto the runway behind his house and drag race . . . We believe you HC
  • Ralphie is getting fast
    • He was out front most of the day . . . Killed the Burpees and Big Boys on the hill.  Well done
  • Zinfandel is a Caitlyn Decathlete
    • Congrats on completing all 8 workouts this week plus a 2nd and 3rd F
  • Solid Coffeeteria at Poppyseeds bagels
    • Learned that Ralphie’s mom also works at Coke . . . BOOM!  Take that Shake n’ Bake!
    • Learned that Blue Screen hates Mail Room guys who wear Yankee jackets
    • Topic of the morning:  Home office vs. Working at an office


  • Prayer Requests:
    • Ralphie’s college roommate lost his Dad this week to COVID
    • Zin’s brother-in-law is battling COVID
  • Wax-Travanganza:  CSAUP event (Completely Stupid And Utterly Pointless)
    • Saturday Feb 6th
    • Starting and ending in Downtown Waxhaw
    • Great opportunity for 1st F (about 3 hours of working out)
    • Great opportunity for 2nd F (Waxhaw Taphouse opening early for us after the workout)

Blue Screen prayed us out!

Don’t give me a complex

3 pax posted with their bells at Calvary on this cold January morning, ready to get some work on with some doubles.


  • SSH x 20 IC
  • Arm circles x 10 IC (forward and backward)
  • Low slow squat x 10 IC

Main Course:

Neupert – 10 sets of 6 double swings EMOM

Complex 1:

  • Double snatch (DSN), renegade row (L, R) (DRR)
  • DSN, double military press (DMP), DRR
  • DSN, DMP, double front squat (DFS), DRR
  • DSN, DMP, DFS, double clean (DCL), DRR
  • DSN, DMP, DFS, DCL, double swing (DSW), DRR

Easy strength:

  • Double suitcase deadlifts – 2 sets of 5
  • DMP – 2 sets of 5
  • Upright row and merkins – 2 sets of 5
  • Double high pulls – 5 sets of 5


  • Waiter carries – L, R – 1:00 on/1:00 off
  • Suitcase carries – L, R – 1:00 on/1:00 off

Complex 2:

  • Swing, high pull, snatch, clean, squat, press – L, R
  • Repeato for ~5 rounds, with the last round done with doubles

COT with the RockZero crowd and Udder with the take out.


  • Hoover is advertising a 72-mile relay with drinking called Ville to Ville in late September (2 weeks after BRR). Hit him up if you like to drink with a side of running.
  • Blood drive – 2/19 – see Slack for details and get signed up!


  • Thanks to Unplugged and Frehley’s Comet for coming out this morning. Olympus is always a smaller crowd, but that usually leads to better 2nd F and today was no different. We covered kids, careers, kids’ careers, weight lifting (shocker), etc.
  • Everyone enjoyed the heavy does of doubles this morning and will likely be feeling them later today.

Lights Out At Centurion Yesterday

16 PAX blindly followed YHC into the darkness during Centurion on Friday.

The Warm Up: Butt Kicks/High Knees before COP (SSH/Imperial Walker/Squats/Mountain Climbers/Merkins)

The Thang: Triple Nickel on the hill (Choose your own Merkins on the bottom/Jump Squats up top). Mosey to people’s chair session outside of Chucky Cheesemonger. Mosey to the deck for running, core, lunges, and donkey kicks. Circled up for Molly (Flutta/Dolly/Rosalita/Freddie/LBC/American Hammer). Partnered up to run stairs & jump squats while number 2 hammered out derkins/dips/step ups. Mosey to the rocks for curls/overhead press/tri’s/rows. Finished with Karaoke L/R with sprints back before concluding the morning with a few too many Low Slow Squats.

The Moleskine: I must admit that my second Q and first Q at this AO was not without a hiccup or two. The first workout location ended up being pitch black after all of the parking lights went dark. Likely shot out with a bb gun by Mermaid’s 2.0 to trip me up. Later the elders reminded me that a triple nickel is 5 reps not 10 and that they are called donkey kicks not dolphin kicks. Still it went better than the nightmare I had the prior night where I was Q Jacked and a PAX was hit by a car. Great to see 4 site FNGs (Eeyore/Boone’s Farm/Buddy The Elf/Grave Dancer)!

What’s With The White Truck?

11 Pax showed up, parking correctly in the new launch point and were properly disclaimed before taking off at 5:30.


We took a warmup lap around the parking lot

  • SSH x 20
  • Imperial Walkers x 20
  • Windmills x 20
  • Squats x 20
  • Merkins x 20

Robbie Miller Half (Quarter)  WOD

We yogged over to the parking lot for a sample of the Robbie Miller WOD.

  • Shuttle Run 3 trips four parking spaces back and forth
  • Burpee Squats x 6
  • 4 Count Mountain Climbers x 6
  • Turkish Getups x 6

Rock Work

Enough of the rocks so we moseyed over to the rocks and a 4 rounds of Overhead Presses x 20, Curls x 20, Tricep Extensions x 20 & Goblet Dips x 20. Run to the cemetery and back in between sets.

After the rock work, we had some time for 2 rounds of Incline Merkins x 10, Squats x 25 and Step-ups x 20.

We returned our rocks and moseyed back to the start point. A quick check of the watch and we were close to 2 miles, so we completed 2 rounds of gassers.


  • Flutter Kicks x 20



  • Good turnout by the Pax today, cooler temps but things warmed up quickly.
  • There was an old white truck parked across multiple parking spaces at the launch point, Dukes of Hazzard Uncle Jesse style. There must be a story there somewhere, maybe Deacon Horsehead can find out.
  • Kotters to Salt Lick, I can’t recall the last time he posted. He’s dealt with back issues for the last few years but it sounds like he’s
  • The Robbie Miller WOD was in honor Staff Sergeant Robert J. Miller was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor for For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. His citation can be read here.
  • Horsehead remarked that the Robbie Miller WOD sucked, so I take that as a compliment. It consists of 12 rounds, but it was shortened it so we can mix other stuff into the Weinke.
  • Manziel showed up proudly in Cleveland Browns gear, and deservedly so. The Browns hadn’t won a playoff game since the 90s and they were long overdue. He was sharing the joy with fellow Ohioan Orang Whip.
  • Chubs and Spyglass really pushed it during the gassers, youth helps but those guys have gotten faster.
  • Lex Luthor just gets down to business, with his grey hoodie Rocky style.
  • Thanks to Orange Whip and Fault Line for the opportunity to lead and please sound off with any mumble chatter.


  • Blood Drive 2/19 Brace YMCA, pre-blast here
  • Orange Whip is working on the schedule, step-up an sign-up. Lex Luthor has the Q next week.

Children’s Laughter… Silenced

Don’t worry that title is purely ironic.  Please read on.

6 men gathered for the winding odyssey that is the Brave.  Here is a brief summary with commentary.

With disclaimer given and Kirby’s gear in place, we head east on Ballantine Commons.  Left on Meadows run and head toward the playground at the bottom of the Murderhorn.  Stops along the way as follows (all IC): 5 merkins, 5 squats/10 merkins, 15 merkins, 10 merkins/10 squats.

At this point YHC gives the instructions for 5 rounds of pull ups and dips and points vaguely toward the playground.  PAX begin to move when we see that… the pull up bars have been taken out!!!  What sick, twisted maniac would do such a thing.  Anyway, no pull ups.

Consumed by rage because I really wanted to do pull ups, YHC begins barking out whatever comes to mind on the picnic benches.  10 dips IC, 5 jump ups, 5 decline CDDs IC, 10 jump ups, 10 dips IC, 15 jump ups, 5 decline CDDs IC, 10 jump ups, 10 dips IC.

Run to the top of the Murderhorn, which is fun.  Briefly circle for the Six with planks and 6 inch planks.  Then continue to Stonecrest movie theater and the “mini-Murderhorn” grass hill.  Line up facing the hill for three rounds of: 10 speed skaters IC, sprint the hill, 5 jump squats at the top.

Back down the Murderhorn. 10 reps each leg of single leg romanian deadlifts, then run backwards to the first lanp post, which is kind of far.  Repeato.  Run up the Murderhorn to the top, which is fun.  Circle for the Six then start the long trek home.  Several stops to keep the PAX together included: flutters, planks, LBCs, and everyone’s favorite, the 8 count “Man-maker” burpee.

With about four minutes left, we tried a new approach to Mary.  Line up a breast and do 5 inch worms forward then roll to your six and do a called exercise. Repeat until time called.  Need more time for this next time.

Announcements: Blood drive.  Collections for Escobar.

Moleskin:  Pleasure to lead as always and great effort by all.  Thanks!

1 Mile of Rifle Carry…Hmm

The Perfect Plan

I planned the entire Wienke last night, set the alarm for 5:15 arrival at Diesel, setup Premature’s famous cones in the parking lot, and finally complete a pre-workout stretch. Got into car and arrived at 5:12 which was better than planned and who do I see, Chastain and Brutus already ready. Well started talking to them and my plan went out the window: no setup or stretching but still had Wienke memorized. PAX cars kept rolling in until 5:30 and some were even a little late, no name Posse.  5:30 hit and we were off, walked 15 feet, to circle up and start Warmup.

The Warmup

  • 10 Low Slow Squats
  • 10 Imperial Walkers
  • 10 Merkins
  • 20 Mountain Climbers
  • 10 Calf Stretch
  • Ran no where and started the Thang.

The Thang

The Wienke was designed to focus on abs, legs, and shoulders using a coupon. PAX broke up into teams of two to perform various pain exercises shown below along with coupon rifle carries. One-person rifle carry, while the other performs the exercise. The quantity is per team, not per individual. If any team finished an exercise early, they continued until the 6 finished.

  • 100 Curls
  • 100 Triceps
  • 100 Leg rises per leg on the coupon
  • 50 Squats per leg on the coupon
  • 200 Bench press while lying on the ground
  • 200 Bent over rows
  • 75 Big boy sit-ups
  • 75 Heals to heaven while holding block
  • 200 Flutter while holding block

Well, I can tell everyone was loving the idea of performing all the rifle carries. I had the joy of rifle carrying next to Brutus while he was singing something, if that is what you call it. At the same time, the entire PAX kept hearing an angry chicken clucking in the background however it was not our Chicken Little. Many PAX were groaning since their shoulders were fatigued after 30 minutes into the work out. I told them “Good news only 15 minutes to go” and Jwow and Carb Load gave me a nice facial expression. Chastain was my partner and I saw him lower the coupon a couple of times to his shoulder during the rifle carry. I could imagine he was saying to himself “I cannot wait till this ends” and I was silently thinking, success. I happened to look over to my right and I see Turnbuckle crushing Big Boy Situps! Nice job!

I did not get to see Rockwell, Posse, Chicken Little, Sledge-O-Matic, Penalty Box, Dough Boy, Dish Dish, Bunyan, or Red Bull since they were on the other side of the parking lot but sure heard their moans!

6:15 came and Chastain said “I cannot believe we did over a mile of rifle carries”

Thanks everyone for pushing through and I enjoyed being the Q.


Turnbuckle laundry list…lol

  • Christ Closet need support tonight, please connect with Turnbuckle
  • Blood Drive Jan 30th
  • Rice N Beans signup through May
  • Turnbuckle offered to have any PAX take a dump at his house during CSAUP since we will pass his house

CSAUP Feb 6 – signup

Premature will Q tomorrow at Commitment tomorrow for one-year anniversary. The official anniversary date is 1/18, which I will also Q, at Flash but Commitment was my first F3 experience.