As God as my Witness, I Thought Turkeys could Fly

  • When:11/25/20
  • QIC: Horsehead

As God as my Witness, I Thought Turkeys could Fly


10 Frozen Turkeys, falling like bags of wet cement (or Anvils) from the sky.  Oh, the humanity!

Geraldo, Point Break, Jet Fuel, Floor Slapper, Mr. Magoo, Lorax, Red Baron, Clover, Boondock, Horsehead


The Thang:


Warmup COP in one of the giant parking lots.  Standard bootcamp fare – nothing exotic.  Full pivot cadence with higher-than-expected audience participation.

P1 run to the traffic circle by the stupid rocks

P2 do 25 merkins, 25 LBC, 25 step ups, 25 Runstoppers

Repeat X3

Note:  this was timed to perfection, even though the rep count was a huge shot in dark.

7s on the hill – burpees/merkins

Suicides at the lampposts – more merkins (variety pack)

Pinball run back to launch.  This is a group AYG run to a distant object, with a mosey back for the six while we all regroup and prepare to hit the next distant object.  It’s much better than the Indian Run, as the fast guys can really blow some steam off here.  It’s also not on the list of banned exercises, which matters deeply to me.  I think that Harry Potter and Catcher in the Rye are also banned now, but I’ll have to check.







Decent crowd, given that many had the day off and were possibly pre-medicating in preparation for a Thanksgiving Microsoft Teams meeting or whatever such obscenity that 2020 has prepared for your loved ones.

Jet Fuel continued with the full tuck, leaving only a meager tease of exposed bright white upper knee area that would have been viewed as scandalous in a previous time, but now I guess it’s just how people dress.

Lorax has reverted back to Dave Ramsey Baby Step #1 after dropping a significant amount of cheese on some Mopar LED Headlights.  Think of all of the energy he is saving though.  The man is basically a Green New Deal on Wheels.  His math is a little shaky though.

Geraldo likes to walk around dragging giant bookbags filled with rocks, but he has a terpsichorean spirit when unburdened.  The big man is light on his feet and dances across the campus, outpacing his group while (surely) doing all of the requested reps.

Clover has a good heart, but a somewhat odd sense of humor (pot/kettle).  He’s the guy who makes this awesome suicide Polar Pop at the Circle K, but then puts a large squirt of blue Powerade at the end just to gross everyone out.  He is also obsessed with evening soap operas from the 1980s.

Red Baron keeps getting faster (and smaller), just like the crappy pizzas.  He’s a pilot though, not a pizza, and actually related to Joe Cool and Snoopy.

Point Break learned everything he knows about acting from Gailard Sartain and Gary Busey, who used to work together before they really hit it big.  I’m not sure he has ever seen Hee Haw though.  Sa-lute!

Dang it, now I have to keep going and write something special about everybody.

Mr. Magoo is awesome.  My 2.0 Boondock likes to call everyone by “Mr.” and then their F3 name.  So I guess he is Mr. Mr. Magoo.

Floor Slapper is shockingly on time these days.  I think he takes turns with OT.


That about does it.


The purple airbrushed Horse Head shirt was my gift to you all.  Things are so serious these days that I figured I might as well let folks have a laugh at my expense.  That’s about the best I can do.

Reach out to somebody who you haven’t seen in a while.  People are hurting this Holiday Season and need human interaction.  Isolation is unhealthy.










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