Pavlov’s Burpee

Pavlov’s Burpee

A month ago I had never been to Dromedary before and today I’m the Q. Two years of F3 and it’s time to be new and start posting/Qing sites I’ve never posted/Qed before. Yesterday I’m in the middle of building my weinke and I get a group text from Zinfandel and Gerber about doing the Iron Pax Challenge today. I had to break their hearts and let them know I was on Q at Dromedary. We joked (kinda?) that I should surprise all the Dromedary PAX by doing the Iron Pax week 1 workout. I rolled it around in the ol’ noggin’ for a while but ultimately decided that might not sit well with everyone, especially cause some might have already done it this week or be planning to do it on Saturday. INSTEAD, I put together a modified version that ended up being just the right amount of terrible.

FNG identified.

DiCCS provided.

One final note: YHC has a timer. Every Minute On the Minute (EMOM) we’ll stop whatever we’re doing and do 2 burpees. I’ll be sure to announce it loudly so no one misses out.

Warmup

Mosey around the big lot away from COT. What’s this? The EMOM timer had a 10 second wind-up timer before the first alarm? “Burpee Time!” Up on your feet and continue the mosey. The timer is rolling we barely make it through half the SSHs before a quick pause for “Burpee Time!” Pick right back up where we left off on the SSHs and move into some Imperial Walkers, Jimmy Dugan’s, and Calf Stretches, occasionally stopping for “Burpee Time!” The PAX already hate me. I can feel it radiating off of them like a wave. Or maybe it’s just the humidity. Yeah, that’s it. Mosey on! Up the stairs and find your own spot on the concrete at the front of the school.

The Thang

This is where things get interesting. We’re going to replicate part of the IPC week one exercises, but I need some time to explain. I hate to stand around explaining things but there are a lot of moving… “Burpee Time!” …parts. Oh good, problem solved. So here are the exercises, done “on my down/up”:

• 5 Hand Release Release Merkins (both hands off the ground at the bottom, one hand off the ground at the top)
• 10 Leg Lifts (on your six, legs straight; touch the ground with both feet then left them past your hips)
• 15 Jungle Boi Squats (full squat; hands “scoop” the ground then a jump and raise your hands above your shoulders)
• 20 Big Boi Sit Ups
• 25 Stationary Lunge Steps (count each leg as one rep)

As you might expect, we didn’t make it through this in one go. We had a few “Burpee Times!” along the way. No time to dwell on that, though. Mosey!

We make it to the first alcove on the west side of the school. Find some wall and position yourself for some donkey kicks. This is a Chastain favorite:

• 10 Donkey Kicks
• Hold the 10th with your feet on the wall
• 10 second countdown
• 9 Donkey Kicks
• Hold the 9th with your feet on the wall
• 9 second countdown
• …
• All the way down to 1 DK and 1 second hold
• Of course, there are some burpees mixed in there for fun

Mosey again to the next alcove and repeat the IPC workout from above.

Another mosey to the north lot near the tennis courts. Line up on one end of the lot. 8 Bear Crawls, 4 Walking Lunges, and 2 Broad Jumps (feet together). Repeato to the end of the lot and back.

Mosey again! A long one this time to the Middle School parking lot where we completed another IPC round.

Another long mosey past the buses. Ah, the smell of diesel in the morning! The timer is counting down but we have some PAX still in the bus lot. Might be the only timer we didn’t stop right on the mark for. Safety first! Continue the mosey to the parking lot south of the school entrance.

4 corners: You pick which exercise goes in which corner but you gotta do all four.

• 20 Mike Tysons
• 20 Flutters
• 20 V Ups
• 20 Bomb Jacks

Running low on time. Goodfella doing his best encouragement “only 12 more burpees!!” I don’t think anyone’s listening.

Down the center of the large lot is a row of trees. 5 Bobby Hurleys at every other tree. Don’t forget your burpees.

We reached COT right as the timer goes off for the last time. Finish up those 2 burpees and we’re done!

Moleskin

I’ll be honest, I had no idea how this timer was going to work out. One minute is NOT a long time, despite what you may tell your M. Would it be too difficult to work in the other exercises? Would 90 burpees be too much? Would I ever get invited back to Dromedary again? I think it worked pretty well. I was gassed at the end. Can’t wait to try out the real IPC for this week to see how it feels.

Funny note: The EMOM timer gives a “halfway there” warning at 30 seconds and then a “boop boop boop BEEP” sound. Folks liken it to Pavlov’s Dog, only the timer beep gives you burpees instead of a treat. The burpees weren’t so bad and were actually a welcome break from the Donkey Kick madness. However, by the end they were just that extra little bit of pain that rounded out this workout. Not a lot of mileage (1.7 ish?) but it was definitely a gasser.

Two new FNGs today, Stalker and Dora, jumped right into it. Welcome to those guys.

Announcements

• F3 Waxhaw 1st Anniversary “Invergence” – Monday, September 7th at 6:30am – Cuthbertson Middle School – Your choice between a bootcamp, MASH, or a 5k race. 2nd and 3rd F will follow
• Blood Drive – October 17th – Go to www.redcross.org and search for F3 – Ours is at the Waxhaw American Legion
• Black Hawk – Talk to Cobbler, Atlas, or Carb Load about Qing in September/October
• Christ’s Closet – Folding nights are starting back up – See GroupMe calendar for schedule

YHC took us out