Jack Webb fartsacked.

Jack Webb fartsacked.

Once upon a time, there was a workout called The Rock.  Upwards of 40 or 50 pax could be found under & amidst the south Charlotte Saturday morning gloom.  The goings on at this AO even were chronicled on local television.  Those goings on were bootcamp workouts.  Once thought to be extinct or, at the very least, no longer to be found in its former south Charlotte habitat — the experts were wrong.  Bootcamp workouts, albeit on the endangered species list, are not extinct.

This morning at RockZero (nee The Rock, prior to a forced and uncomfortable prearranged re-marriage with DayZero after they left the relationship a couple years earlier) 17 men confirmed that the bootcamp workout is alive and still sitting up and taking nourishment.  A la Marlon Perkins and Jim Fowler on Mutual of Omaha’s “Wild Kingdom”, Runstopper & YHC took the pax on a safari across the Calvary expanse (actually we didn’t range very far at all) to prove that the bootcamp workout is still alive.  By the way, do you remember how Perkins used to send Fowler on the most harrowing tasks while he just sat back in the elevated safari vehicle and prattled on?  Good humor.

Anyway, suppose some account of what happened should be included, so here’s a blend of Moleskinny & Thang:

TL was LIFO, we circled back a bit to pick him up after a weak disclaimer that included no mention of Covid.

COP consisted of the Sprinkler (stole that from Circuit City’s Q at RY on Thursday).  I just can’t stand to look at the atrocious form when IW’s are called. No SSH’s, of course.  We did some slow squats, a few burpees, some flutters..and some other stuff.

Then ran over to one of the lots for some bearcrawls, lunge walks (including back’ards), burpee broad jumps, etc.

Over to the picnic tables near the kitty litter.  The hotbox was full of crows and/or ravens picking the flesh from some carcass….hope it wasn’t human.

Anyway we did some Little Baby Haze’s.  Flipper adroitly corrected me when I called what I was doing step up’s.  Thanks for the assist.  See…I’m coachable.  Also did some incline merkins, though my co-Q and others were doing dips & Derkins and perhaps other stuff.  Choose your own Weinke, fellas.

Moseyed over to the pavilion for some people’s chair, overhead press, some little baby arm circles – forwards and back’ards, and some Moroccan Night Club’s.  Thanks to Snowflake for the assist on the name for those sneaky little  bastards.

Runstopper’s turn.  He, of course, took the pax immediately over to the rock filled bridge over the gunch down the hill from the kitty litter.  While many were expecting an appearance from Mr. Webb, alas, Jack never showed.  The pax did, however, carry the rocks for the remainder of the workout.  We did a bunch of stuff with the rocks – lots of old school sit ups, lunge walks – forwards and back’ards, flutter press, and some other nameless exercises that I’d never done before and will likely have me cursing under my breath this evening and all day tomorrow.  Thank you very little, Stopper.

We went less than 2 miles.  1.89753 miles was the official tally.  You’re welcome.  Did I mention bootcamps are not extinct?

Now for some sundry moleskinnish observations:

  • Mallcop was exhorted by a few to join the festivities but he was AWOL #epsteinsmother
  • Spackler, aka Sparkles according to his M, posted and then doubled on over to White Claw
  • Snowflake ran in #machine
  • Floorslapper was on time again.  Weird.
  • Beaver and his bionic (or reconfigured?) hip continue to show up and put in the hard work.
  • Cottonmouth produced a first for YHC as Q…perhaps a first for anyone.  During the People’s Chair work at the pavilion, he actually took a call from his daughter and spoke to her for a couple minutes.  Also weird. Don’t do that again.
  • Geraldo did not offer YHC any cinematic or 70’s/80’s pop culture trivial information, but he did appreciate YHC’s reference to Fletch after IH was describing his doctor’s diagnosis of his abdominal perturbulence: “I don’t seem to find anything wrong with you, Mr. Babar.”
  • Schmedium was putting in the hard work while still quarantined in Charlotte rather than Houston.  At least the humidity’s better here…..yeah, right.
  • IHOP & Slingshot eschewed the social distancing mombo-jombo and clowncarred to the morning’s festivities.  T-claps.  Also learned Slingshot used to be Cottonmouth’s boss.  Also potentially weird.
  • The “respectful” Spaceballs, FNG last week, was back and also worked in a post at Anvil this week.  3 times in 8 days – T-claps, brother.  Keep coming out.
  • Strawberry traveled way north, which is to say 3.5 miles or so, for an Area51 post.  Welcome back, brother.

Alright, that’s enough of this.  I’ll close with this.  As I prayed in COT, I am thankful for this fellowship, this brotherhood.  There’s a story in the Bible written by a dude named Luke.  It’s an exchange between another dude named Jesus of Nazareth and an expert in Jewish law.  It may be familiar to some of you, and it’s known familiarly as the parable of the “Good Samaritan”.  Luke 10: 25-37.  I commend it to you, men.  Notice the context in which Jesus tells this parable, and ask yourselves how that may apply to us in America, and the whole world for that matter.  “Who is your neighbor?”

Thankful for you, men.  It was a privilege to Q alongside Runstopper this morning, and it was a privilege and joy to pray for all of us, too.


About the author

Hops author

2 Comments so far

SpacklerPosted on3:10 pm - Jun 6, 2020

Ended up that WC took a day off today. She will be back w her many flavors next week.

Not a bad workout presented today. Thankfully it was humid enough to break a sweat. 😂. I’m sure I will feel it later though. I was just waiting on tunnel of love to be called to which I then would have taken matters into my own hands aka leave.

GeraldoPosted on6:17 pm - Jun 6, 2020

Hops Thanks for the lead

You must be logged in to post a comment.