We find ourselves midway through the eighth week of the twelve week strength program, and today’s workout was particularly awful. The program currently has us in the throes of snatches, several rounds with little rest in between. Six of us bid adieu to our Anvil friends and got to work as they disappeared into the South Charlotte fog. This morning’s workout consisted of:
5 rounds of press ladders (1, 2, then 3 reps per arm)
5 rounds of puke inducing snatches (10 reps per side) with a scant 15 seconds of rest in between (#Absurd)
4 rounds of 90 second farmer’s walks (Old McDonald can kiss YHC’s posterior)
60 second plank hold, 60 second hollow body hold, 90 second glute bridge hold
Swings until our Anvil friends return
Now for the part of the backblast that people will actually read. Fair warning however, there will be some tangents as there are several subjects I have thoughts about. First of all, while I love kettlebell workouts, why on Earth are we doing a program designed by the Russians? Did we lose a war? It feels especially wrong this week as we celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Miracle on Ice, when a group of scrappy American college kids defeated the Soviet Union team who for all intents and purposes were professional players who had not been defeated in twenty years in Olympic ice hockey. As an aside (you were warned) Kurt Russell was absolutely snubbed for Best Actor for his portrayal of Team USA coach Herb Brooks. I can’t be bothered to research who actually won the award that year, but I’m just going to assume that it was some artsy highbrow schlock that nobody actually likes. Probably foreign too. If you can watch the pregame scene where Coach Brooks tells the team that they will not only skate with the Russians on that particular night, but they would do the unthinkable and beat them, and not want to run through a brick wall, then I suggest researching real estate in Toronto because you don’t have a patriotic bone in your body. Anyway, back to the Russian designed workout thing, again I’m not going to actually do any research, but I hope the person who designed this program defected from the USSR, because it feels like an insult to the great Americans who helped topple the Soviet communist regime such as President Reagan, Hulk Hogan, and Rocky Balboa.
The #BlameVoodoo portion of this backblast’s title stems from the fact that our New Orleanian friend was not among us this morning because of his travels home for Mardi Gras, then to Las Vegas. While the rest of us did rounds of snatches. With 15 seconds of rest in between.
The other portion of the title is inspired by Unplugged’s wardrobe choice this morning. About midway through the workout, Unplugged peeled his outer layer to reveal a Golden Girls t-shirt. Not just a shirt with text that read “Golden Girls”, but a picture of Blanch, Dorothy, whatever Betty White’s character was named, and whatever Estelle Getty’s character’s name was. To take my mind of the multiple rounds of high rep snatches with little rest in between (which Voodoo missed because he was gallivanting among New Orleans and Las Vegas) I tried to recall as much as the theme song as I could, and I think I got about 80% of it. I’m solid on the first and last verses, but the middle has a couple lines I’m not sure of. Anyway, another aside…
What happened to the TV show theme song? If you’ll allow me an Old Man Yells at Cloud moment, the TV show opening theme song has been relegated to the dustbin of history, and in YHC’s opinion, society is poorer for it. Theme songs used to either provide the viewer with some background and context about the show through it’s verses (sometimes to the point of overkill, think the older dreck before most of our time like The Brady Bunch or Gilligan’s Island) or laid down a sweet instrumental track that set the tone for the viewing experience. Into the dark recesses of my mind (a truly horrifying place) I went, trying to think of some examples of top quality TV theme songs, and here is what I’ve come up with (again, you were warned):
Cheers: Perhaps the gold standard, balancing a lively piano riff with poignant lyrics
Hill Street Blues: I don’t remember much about this show other than my dad watched it, but I do remember that piano groove interspersed with an electric guitar solo that didn’t really fit, but was required by law in the 1980s
Growing Pains: Decent lyrics, decent melody, and Alan Thicke, so a solid option
Full House: Recently my 7 year old has been watching the Netflix show Fuller House, and I have to say that DJ Tanner still has her fastball
Night Court: The sax interlude made this theme much funkier than it needed to be, which we were all richer for
The Facts of Life: A home sick from school staple for YHC, a bouncy beat and fun lyrics with the added bonus of spurring one of the great debates of our time. I firmly believe that men can be separated into one of two categories, Blair or Jo. #TeamBlair
Perfect Strangers: I don’t remember much about this theme, but it had Balki and the Dance of Joy
Family Ties: Alex P. Keaton is one of the great protagonists in television history, as he was the moral compass of the family, which aside from him was comprised of filthy hippies
The Golden Girls: As mentioned above, an absolute banger of a theme
Married With Children: Al Bundy plus the Chairman is a winning combination
Friends: A serviceable though unremarkable Rembrandts song, it fit nicely with the show’s aesthetic
The Office: Perhaps the last show with a memorable theme
I’m sure I have forgotten several, and I’m also sure I will remember a couple immediately after hitting the Publish button. I expect to see you all on Saturday as we continue our kettlebell workouts at Olympus.