Who shuffled this deck!?

Who shuffled this deck!?

19 morons thought that YHC was still sick and that surely they would be presented this morning with a quality workout, a traditional regimen, and trustworthy leadership. Instead, they got a has-been Spin class instructor with a neon fanny pack and a Napoleon complex. They followed anyway… they always do.


  1. Mosey north for COP in the amphitheater to the timeless sounds of GnR:
    1. IWs
    2. SSHs
    3. LSSs
    4. LSMerkins
    5. LSPeter Parkers
    6. LSFreddy Murchisons
    7. Backwards arch… hold!!! (I’ve never felt so alone)
  2. Mosey to the rockpile and grab one of several pre-selected rocks (no paperweights today, boys)
  3. Mosey to the north lot, pop the hatch on the Microvan and see what kind of junk is in the trunk… (IKEA kids chalkboard and a deck of cards… WTF?)
  4. Welcome to Sprockets’ (Full) “House of Pain”!!!
    1. Spades = 8-count Burpee Jacks
    2. Diamonds = Heels 2 Heaven
    3. Clubs = Iron Squats (“huh?”)
    4. Hearts = F3s (curl/press/extend)
    5. Jokers = Dealer’s Choice
      1. Partner race… wheelbarrows n partner carries
      2. Catch me if you can… around the bldg., 10merkins at each handoff
    6. Aces high (14reps) in a full deck = 104reps of each exercise + a couple long laps and 2 (not so funny) Joker routines
  5. Finish the deck, deposit the rocks at 7:56 and run like heck to south lot.
  6. Time check… 7:59
  7. 20 Boone Crunches each side…. DONE!



  1. A whole lotta laughin’ early on. Not a whole lotta laughin for the last 25minutes
  2. Excellent tracking skills by Deep Dish and his late-arriving accomplice… He can track a falcon on a cloudy day… He can find COT.
  3. One guy who shall remain nameless (rhymes with “Dummy”) kept barking early on to “take a lap” and break up the card-flipping. It was this request that inspired YHC to call for “a lap” around the bldg with the rock during the 2nd You now know who to thank for that.
  4. I think we got nothing but face card spades and clubs for the 1st 8 cards. (Hey, Mama always told me life is more like a game of poker than a game of chess.) Fun fact… Johnny Cash recorded a lesser-known version of “The Gambler” before Kenny Rogers took it to #1 in 1978. Now you know.
  5. At one point (in response to leading the Iron Squats with your “inferior leg”) Gummy offered to show everyone his own inferior leg… requests can be placed offline.
  6. If given the opportunity, YHC highly recommends matching with Hoover during the partner-carries… 1) While carrying the HGH-infused Gorilla on your back, his feet hang so low that you get a powered assist, similar to Fred Flintstone powering his car by skipping his feet across the ground 2) The view of the Atlantic from atop his back is breathtaking.
  7. Biggest lesson learned… size matters when it comes to Bluetooth speakers. The dime-sized woofer I got in my Christmas stocking left something to be desired. I’ll try to get on the “nice” list in 2020.



  1. RZ is desperately in need of Qs. They will take ANYONE (case in point… Alf and McGee are on the schedule)


Big thanks to Hoover and Geraldo for covering for me while I was out with the man-flu, and for trusting that I would actually show up this morning. Have a sensational week, my brothers!

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1 year ago

Sprockets, you are the Willy Wonka of Area 51! Energetic, funny, imaginative, yet a little scary! That said, I really didn’t consider that 40 pound boulder I had to workout with my golden ticket. Always fun to follow you into the gloom, bro!

1 year ago

Sprockets, you never disappoint. Between the Richard Simmons energy level, the fanny pack, pre-selected rocks, and the kids chalk board I was truly impressed with the prep and effort for that Q.

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