Monthly Archive July 2019

WWZD – What would Zinfandel do?

PreBlast: All weekend it was just me and 3 kids…M went to Charleston for the weekend. When it’s just me and the munchkins we BALL. We hit 4 different pools in 3 days, ate chocolate pancakes both mornings, went shopping a few times, and purchased 5 containers of Breyers ice cream. Side Note: Everyone in my house is sensitive to or allergic to dairy so my wife always buys coconut-based ice cream…..

I polished off an ENTIRE BOX of the Take-Two (half Vanilla half Chocolate)! Only about an hour after did I realize that may not have been a good idea.

3 other Pax joined me at Brooklyn Pizza for what would be an interesting morning. The humidity was among us as I started sweating immediately as we took off.. Was it the humidity or was something brewing!!

DiCCS given and we were off!

The THANG:

Mosey to Target – Circle up!

  • 5 SSH – IC
  • 5 Merkins – IC

5 LSS – IC

  • 20 Burpees – OYO – Sorry Damascus, the burpees were a late addition so I went with it!!
  • Mosey towards the Wesley Oaks neighborhood pool.

At this point, I may have to start ranking all the local pools. I’ve been to the B & C (still a front runner) Lawson (Very fast slide) Chainsaw’s (I’m working on a party – coming soon) and lastly Wesley Oaks.

After today Wesley Oaks holds a special place in my heart. Let’s keep moving!!

  • Stop at the intersection near the main entrance for the 6. 5 burpees OYO
  • Finish Mosey to Club House
  • 11’s – Pull-ups/Merkins

One the last leg of the mosey it hit me and hit me hard… Not not a turtle head.. This was going to be an EXPLOSION!!

During the Mosey I inquired about the facilities. “Damasus, you think the bathroons are unlocked?” “Yeah probably, but theres a 6′ fence to get over.”

Fence…psshhhh…… a fence wasn’t about to slow down the murder scene to come.

We arrived at the clubhouse. I called out the 11’s and headed to the see about scaling this fence and if it was even possible. Damascus yells out, “Go over to that side they have cameras over there!” Hope they don’t have good audio….haha. Put it this way… a sock has been used in the past but this would have taken both socks, underwear, and shirt!!

Scaled the fence with no problem and went for the door….. F&#%……it was locked up tighter than ( insert here). Think. Think. Think.

What would Zinfandel do? We all know he is the king personal hygiene and has been known to give a bidet to a fellow pax…haha THIS GUY…

I see a rolled up water hose while I was still on the inside of the fence – you with me – It was dark and I couldn’t tell if it had a removable on/off valve. I was literally in a panic…

I hopped the fence and grabbed the valve…SCORE!!! I’m not out of the woods yet! Where will this all take place?? I was about to destroy something… The hose was about 20-25′ long.. I made it two feet and blew up the pine needle bed almost shitting on my shoes!!

Thinking ahead, I had already turned the water on before I nuked the needles… Apply a small amount of thumb pressure to the end of the hose, you have an instant Bidet!! Morning saved!!!

  • Back to the 11’s – Finish up – Lets Mosey
  • Take a right and go deeper into the neighborhood. Damascus yells “wrong way” NOPE… deeper we went into Wesley Oaks.
  • At Culdesac 10 Burpees OYO
  • Head back towards AO – Burpees at top and bottom of Paxsaw Ridge.
  • Bear Crawl halfway from the bottom of heal to the electric gate.
  • Crawl Bear the other half – Audible! We almost made it and got smoked out.
  • Pause and catch a breath at the gate.
  • All you got back for COT! Damascus and Brutus thundered behind myself and Chastain… Chastain, next time I won’t yell for the entire sprint… Good push!

All pax worked hard and it was a good workout. Well done with the vest Damascus! Do us all a favor and burn the vest and buy a new one. Joking…not for a second am I joking. BURN IT.

Announcements:

See Swimmers for upcoming race – Totally forgot the name of it!

Ignition/Flash BackBlast Combo – it was MOIST

22 PAX made there way out this morning to an extremely hot and humid workout. 14 joined BottleCap for a little upper body improvement while 6 joint yours truly tackling the gradual yet killer hills of Champion Forest.

IGNITION – THANG

Mosey to shed back up to bus loop towards the hill

Hill – 15 Merkins (on/out/diamond) + 4 Burpees counting down

Head up hill to Champion Forest with 10 Plank Rotations at each light with 6 looping back

Head down 1/2 mile stretch of Dobson 25 Squats at end

Back up 1/2 mile loop of Waynewood and 25 Squats

Rinse Repeat

Back to entrance with 10 speed skaters each light

Mosey down to lower track entrance with 25 Dry Docks at each island

Run back to each track entrance doing 10 Bomb Jacks at each and then return.

Mosey back with 10 Bomb Jacks at bus loop. Then long way around to front of school to ensure we are exactly a minute late for COTs

FLASH – THANG

Jog to front of Middle School for warmups

Imperial Squawker x 10

Merkins x 5

SSH x 20

MC x 5

Plank Jack x 5

Diamond Merkins x 5

Mosey to side of middle school for Triple Nickel

Side portico – 6 count wall merkins x 5

Back of school – Bench plank walks x 5

Soccer field for 4 corner escalator (jog 4 corners, 40 Merkins, jog 3 corners, 30 merkins, etc)Jog up and down hill until 6 gets in

Double Hill 7sUp and down both hills

Burpees at top of one hill

Bomb jacks at top of other hill

Backwards run back to COT with 10 knee slaps at each light post

MOLESKINE

During Ignition, with a couple of PAX disappearing at different times to take care of business (one PAX in the woods) over 5 miles was covered and more for the leaders who had to circle back multiple times for the 6. Hollywood and Legalzoom were upfront the entire time making things look easy. Dasher as well – minus his potty break. Actually everyone deserves a mention as there was no breeze and it was muggy. Nice job Rubbermaid and Ringer for battling with no breaks. Cobbler was the man who was pushing through the pain. Nice job brother.

During Flash, as everyone pushed really hard through the ailments. Deflated should be mention for crushing the Triple Nickel, Gaylord for owning the Escalator(whatever that is), Easy Button was the man on the 7s, was awesome having Spike back and even better seeing Popeye on a weekday pushing hard.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

No announcements but don’t forget Foundation’s 4th bash and Swimmer’s mention of the Prostrate Cancer Run.

BottleCap closed with Prayer.

July 4th Convergence

Hydra is hosting the 4th of July Convergence. Come dressed in your best patriotic attire and get some work in before you eat and drink all day.

Location: Olde Providence Elementary School, 3800 Rea Rd
Time: 7:00-8:00 am
Qs: Gummy (Hydra), War Eagle (Rebel Yell) and High Tide (Meathead)
Format: We’re planning to keep everyone together and rotate the three Qs through. If 100 people show up like the olden days, we’ll adjust.

Coffeeteria afterwards at Dunkin’ just down the road at Colony/Rea. Don’t let them know that we’re associated with Bushwood and the Donut Run guys.

As a novelist, I turned out to be a pretty good sportswriter.

10 guys at Base Camp this morning. We did some stuff. It was maybe a tad aggressive, but with a few 10-counts and partner breaks thrown in, it still met the conditions required to be called “moderate”. Pro loves moderate workouts.

I have a few workouts locked in every week: Fast Twitch, Hydra, RockZero. I bounce around a little and hit one or two Mon/Wed/Fri workouts in most weeks too. I like taking Mondays off if I run on Sunday so I feel better for Fast Twitch. I laid out my Wednesday workout decision tree a few weeks ago. Here’s how Mondays go if I post:

DMZ – closest to my house (even closer to my new house in Lansdowne), but it has angry Metro guys and sometimes Semi Gloss. I haven’t been in a while, but I’ll probably work it back into the rotation.

Base Camp – Depends on who the Q is and if I want to take it easy. I remember when Simba used to make all his congregants post at Base Camp. I saw him a couple of weeks ago and he said, “You’re still going to F3?”. He doesn’t miss us.

M*A*S*H – Like Pro pointed out this morning, if you post there, you have to be ready to talk to maybe just one other person for 45 minutes. I like Hopper a lot, but that’s tough. I would’ve enjoyed this one a couple of years ago when I was last injured though.

The Matrix – It’s a long way out there – it may be in Union county. But solid crew usually. And I enjoy the square track and the weird half-buried tires in the back.

Horsey – No way. I went once a few years ago and my legs are still tired. I just don’t need that in my life.


Horsey – No way. I went once a few years ago and my legs are still tired. I just don’t need that in my life.
The Matrix – It’s a long way out there, but solid crew usually. I enjoy the square track too.

ya can’t hide a horse in ‘dem hills

12 men decided it was a good day to take on the hills of Horsey.  With YHC on Q all assembled in the parking lot at 5:15 except for a late entry by Mr Brady.  YHC had indicated, in a pre-tweet, that pax should wear reflective/safety gear.  Most pax heeded the call and had something reflective on.  YHC showed up in all black with a reflective ankle Road ID.  Veteran hide and seek move there. After a short disclaimer, the group took off for the top of Mountainview.

The Thang:

Hide and seek is a simple enough game, if you’re “it” you get a head start and the others don’t watch where you’re going but give you ample lead time to hide.  Then the others take off to find you.  Basically, CMIYC.

12 pax broke into 3 teams, Fast, Schmedium, and Slow.  One person from each team was “it” and took off along their selected route.  The other pax did 10 merkins, 10 shoulder taps, and 10 Peter Parkers before the chase.  Once the team caught up to their “it” person, rotate rinse and repeat.  Simple formula.  Strategy and tactics were left up to the pax.

Moleskinny:

YHC came up with this idea in the heat of the day Saturday, while doing yardwork and prepping for a big family cook-out.  The heat must have caused some neurons to misfire or it was the recovery beers from the double pre-run and heavy workout at Rock Zero.  Either way, it was an out of the box idea for YHC and should have been questioned at the door.

Nevertheless, good tactics on display from the pax.  YHC’s own tactic included a double-double-back on Old Bell and being able to circle back around to meet his team head-on.  Lying down on someone’s lawn (probably not Chester’s) while the team ran past oblivious to the 6’8” black hole smack in the middle of a green lawn.  Horsehead more than once attempted to hide behind a tree and a mailbox.  Mumbled something about Boo Radley’s driveway and losing his pancreas.

YHC assumes that the residents of this hilly hell in Charlotte must be used to this craziness.  Because no one questioned the wisdom of running through the gloom and shining headlamps onto stranger’s houses and lawns looking for your fellow pax.  Luckily the cops were not called, and no warning shots were fired.  Funky Cold was pretty sure it would be a shoot first, ask questions later type scenario (insert dueling banjos here).

The team breakdown is below.  Pax should sound off with their team’s highlights but we’ve caught a few from the hacked security cameras around Mountain View.

Fast Team –Lee, Thin Slice, Turkey Leg, Funky Cold

Schmedium Team – Benny, Flipper, What Did, Taf

Slow Team – Udder, Hoover, Mr Brady, Horsehead

Fast:  Always chasing Turkey Leg.  Seriously, dude was moving with everyone in hot pursuit every time YHC saw him.

Schmedium:  Caught Flipper trying to hide behind a pickup truck, at one point, he might have jumped into the bed.

Slow:  Mr. Brady was on the wrong team, and it has nothing to do with the nipple tape on full display during COT.  He blames the sweat, others thought he might have a part time job in the late night and left his tassels in the car.  YHC has no comment.

Announcements: Convergence on Thursday in Metro at 0630 Independence Park and Area 51 at 0700 at Hydra. Also American 4 miler on Thursday.

Thanks to Horsehead for the take out.