Monthly Archive July 2019

The horror, the horror

He hated all this, and somehow he couldn’t get away.


-Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness (also TAF, who seems to be Chester’s favorite)

15 pax met up this morning at the greenway parking lot at Sardis Road and Old Bell Road, prepared for their weekly trip into the heart of darkness to kick the bully (Mount Yucca) in the shins.

After a brief disclaimer, 12 of us set off at precisely 5:15 (Federalist, Hoover, and Mr. Brady) met us on the course. As a veteran leader, well aware of his own weaknesses (namely, Oreos, IPAs, and running), I had devised a plan that required absolutely zero leadership. After all, this site basically Qs itself.

The plan was simple: start at the cul de sac at the top of Old Bell Road. Run down and make a right on Wilby and follow it all the way out to Sardis Road. Turn around and return to the top via Mountainview. That’s one lap, run as many as you can, then meet at the flagpole at 6:08 (that’s 6:08AM Eastern time, Cheese Curd!) for the pledge, then mosey it back to the launch. Everyone got in at least 2.5 laps. The leaders were somewhere on their 4th when time ran out.

Chester’s Moleskine:

We all know that no one comes to a Horsey backblast for details of the workout, so #cobains for the above recap. This morning’s fever dream started like all of the others, with a bunch of men standing around, looking at each other in a parking lot. Some of the visitors had already dispensed with their shirts, their semi-chiseled flesh glistening in the light of the moon, like a bunch of backup dancers from an off-brand Chippendale’s show at a motel near the airport. The others remained shirted, mostly in non-performance shirts sure to shear their nipples off by the end of today’s journey. On the run in on Old Bell, you hear a lot of strange noises from the darkened woods. Shining your headlamp into the bushes, it’s not uncommon to see glowing eyes staring back at you. Deer? Coyote? Man? Chester? Just keep running. Despite the other pax on the course, there is inevitably some time out there where you’re utterly alone in the darkness with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company. “Why am I doing this again?” “Why do my friends invite me to these workouts? Do they secretly hate me?” “Why did I eat that burrito for dinner last night?” “Why are my shoes so squishy?” [Those last two are not related, I swear.]

Horsey is as much a battle of emotions as it is hills. Keep the legs moving, tune out the weird noises, and ignore the possible sexual predators. Thanks to the pax for coming out this morning and helping push each other.

Random observations:

Checkpoint, the sole representative of #TeamRifty, was at the front the entire time. Mr. Brady was in second place from a speed perspective, but might have been first if the competition was volume of sweat wrung from his shirt post-workout. TAF has possibly the most impressive beard I’ve ever seen on a non-millenial. Part of me wonders if he has any small rodents living under there, like the brown wizard from the Hobbit. Despite all of his complaining post-workout, Gypsy is getting strong and is going to crush his marathon later this year. We might need to change his nickname to Waterboy if he keeps hiding water bottles everywhere. Cheese Curd is usually my speed, but he stayed just out of my reach today. You know he’s feeling good if you don’t hear any moaning noises while he’s running hills.

Alright, I need to get to bed. Sound off in the comments if you have any more observations or feedback. I’ll be sure to pass along any suggestions to management.

Revenge of the Sixth (Pick up the 6th)

This was my 3rd Q to lead, and was on “late” notice. Noteworthy because I injured my knee over 3 weeks ago and am now just rehabbing it. Some suspected frustration with the road construction would lead to an intense workout. Actually, being knocked out via my knee created frustration, so time to get to work, with lots of Star Wars references. The title is in regards to me, taking it slower to return to full speed, I’m the 6th today. Which was fine, but I had to attach that to a catchy title.

Warmup:
Lap from Brooklyn Pizza to behind Target which included grass running, and to warm up in the Target parking lot.
42 Side Straddle Hops (to honor the 42 theaters that debuted Star Wars IV nationwide in 1977. That’s it!)
20 Merkins
20 Imperial Walkers. Star Wars, you know…
20 Mountain Climbers
Calf Stretch

The Thang: 
So taking off like light-speed we headed across the street (Transporter discovered there is a crosswalk at the traffic light, BRILLIANT!) to in front of Harris Teeter. We engaged in the Death Star Fish:
3 Burpees in the center
20 Imperial Squat Walkers
20 Speed Skaters
20 Carolina Dry Docks
20 Peter Parkers
After that it was off to get rocks just off the HT parking lot. Think of it at having Yoda on your back while Jedi Training, or them being a giant pile of Banda Poopo. There we took step lunges to the parking median with the rocks over our heads, quickly nicknamed the Death Star trench. We took partners, one runs around the parking lot, the other the following;

100 Squat Thrusts AUDIBLE AUDIBLE; 66 Squat Thrusts (66 in honor of the Emperor’s Secret Plan to ambush and kill most of the Jedi Knights, see, Revenge of the Sith/6th)
66 Bicep Curls
50 Tricep Curls
Some finished early, so you got to do more while the last people finished their laps. Then we lunge walked with our rocks over our heads again, and returned to the Starting Point near Hickory Tavern.
Next was a circuit around the parking lot and the following exercises, but due to time running out some passed on running and did the exercises:
20 Knee Slap Jump Squats
30 LBCs
20 Step Ups
20 Derkins
20 Mike Tysons
And we wrapped up! The Sith were defeated!

The Moleskine
– Props to so many who picked up the 6th today, which was often me. We work together and that’s awesome!
– I got a lot of dirty looks today, which makes me happy. Asylum is supposed to push us! And I promise my knee was hurt, even with all the knee exercises!
– Most stayed for Q Source, rock on! Thank you Shop Dawg for leading, which the discussion also referenced teamwork, picking up the 6th, and building each other up as leaders.

Announcements:
– Bible Study Tonight at Brooklyn Pizza, 7:30pm.
– F3 Dads is on week 3 now! Every Saturday at Dogwood Park. It’s for any kids 3 and up, boys and girls. They get names and everything!
– Speed for Need; Sept 14th.
May the Force be with you!

Grass, Grass and more Grass

Station workout in the grass and dew…sorry for anyone sensitive to grass.

Warm up – Mosey down the sidewalk until we were next to the soccer field.

10 Side Straddle Hops

10 Merkins

Calf Stretch

Good enough, lets get to it.

The Thang – Stations in the grass with lights to lead the way.

There were 4 stations in the corners that we did 20 reps at each:

  • LBS, Heels to Heaven, Flutters, Speed Skaters

There was one station in the middle:

  • Clock Merkins (4 to start and 8 half way through

Rocks between each corner and middle stations

  • Do 10 or 20 of your choice with the rock

30 min. timer

Some modified and added a lap to the routine . I had that and removed it…I should have kept it in.

Seemed like alot of info. before beginning, but everyone caught on quickly once they got going. Alot of up and down, so more comfortable for us old guys in the grass. Guarantee everyone needed a longer shower this morning to get all the grass off. It could have been worse…I could have brought out hay bales to toss around. If that sounds fun, let me know and the next load I get, I will give you a call. Thanks for everyone coming out and supporting me on my 1st Q in a long time!!!

Announcements:

Gerber – Dad/Kids F3 – Saturdays, 9AM, Need Q’s to step up.

Legal Zoom – Tent Meeting – Revival/Southern Culture – kid friendly – Contact Legal Zoom for details.

Cobbler – 9-12 year olds football – Lancaster/Indian Land (you can signup even if not from there) – meeting tonight at 6:30 at high school

Better Than Saturday Morning Cartoons

We had a great Q school led by Posse & Goodfella yesterday at Cutherbertson Middle School. We started talking about how to do a disclaimer and talk safety at the beginning of each workout following the DiCCS format. 1. I am not a professional. 2. Modify as needed. 3. Don’t sue me, F3, or the location. 4. You’re here at your own risk. 5. Safety: make sure someone has a cell phone on their person. Make sure someone knows CPR. Assume cars and buses don’t see you, etc.

Next we learned how to call out an exercise, start it, do the counting, and finish. I forgot how to count to 10 in my head and didn’t raise my voice on my 10th Mountain Climber even though that was going to be my last one. So I had to start over and do it again. This time I did Merkins and got it right. We went around the circle and everyone chose their own exercise and led the group the same way. I wasn’t the only one who had to repeat their turn. I think we all found out it’s a lot harder to count and think when you’re in front of a group of Pax.

Next Goodfella took off running like a bolt and we were trying to catch him. It was an example of how NOT to lead the group to a different location because we want to try to keep everyone together as much as possible. Lot’s of talk about circling back for the Six and never leaving anyone behind.

Then we learned about how to use the surroundings of the site to create exercise routines. We used light poles to stop and do Merkins while running around the parking lot. We discussed visiting the site before you Q to see what’s there, how far away areas are from each other, and planning your workout. A visit is much better than just looking online on Google maps.

We talked about partner exercises and how to use them. Some exercises require partners to be of equal fitness levels (like pushing each other, something like a horn lock drill). Some exercises require a faster and a slower person to be partnered up to keep the group together more and finishing at the same time.

We discussed other exercise structures like triple nickle, the Beast, and Jackpot. Triple nickle is where you pick three exercises and do 5 reps of each, 5 sets. The Beast would be 6 reps of each, 6 sets. Jackpot would be 7 reps of each, 7 sets. F3Nation.com has an Exicon, a list of tons of exercise ideas you can use, and formats/structures to do them in. It’s ok to make some notes for your workout as you plan it out to help you stay on track. It’s also good to plan more than you’ll have time for, much better than running out of things to do before time is up.

Finally we talked about how to end with the workout. Q gets in the middle of the COT, everyone counts off in the number-rama and the Q gets the names down on his phone since no one could remember all those names. Do announcements if there are any. Name the FNG’s. And then someone takes us out with either a thought, story, or a prayer.

I thought it was a great Q school training. Well done Posse and Goodfella!

When I graduated from first grade, all my dad did was tell me to get a job.

Although I’ve already had the honor of Q’ing a couple gloomy mornings, it was still a great lesson that gave me some good takeaways this morning at Cuthbertson Middle. DiCCS were given and discussed in detail (heh).

Warmup

After a quick lap around the parking lot to get the blood flowing, PAX circled up and learned a core concept of Q’ing – how to count. One by one the PAX entered the circle to lead the rest in cadence. The next exercise is …, in position, move, in cadence, exercise, 1, 2, 3. If you didn’t get it right the first time, try again. It’s surprising how easy it is to forget such a simple routine when you’re out of breath and in front of a group of men. The actual exercises were unimportant because we were practicing the framework, but were mostly simple – side straddle hops, merkins, imperial walkers and YHC led some windmills. Stuff like that.

The Thang

A super quick takeoff from launch led to a game of pursuit of Goodfella to demonstrate the incorrect way to lead the PAX. After a sprint to the flagpole in front of the school we broke down exactly why Goodfellas lightning bolt across campus was incorrect Q behavior. Circle for the 6, try to keep everyone together, and/or plank it up. We then proceeded to learn a few different routines, by acting them out, that a Q could use for a good workout.

  • Jacob’s ladder around the pickup lane stopping at each streetlight for incline merkins
  • Triple Nickle with burpees, merkins & rosalita + discussion of variants – the beast & jackpot
  • Partner work – longhorns
  • Partner work – collective 100 step ups while partner b ran a half lap of pickup lane

We wrapped up the last 10 minutes of the workout with a few examples of what you can do in the last 10 minutes of a workout and then actually doing one of those, a jack webb.

Everyone then met up at the local coffeeteria, a Chic-Fil-A, to go over some incredibly in-depth documentation put together by Posse. After a good overview of it all, we wrapped it up and committed to going out there and showing what we learned in a Q soon.

Moleskine

  • Huge kudos to Posse for putting all this documentation and planning together, and Goodfella for being so damn helpful.
  • Goodfella had some great tips and tricks at Chic-Fil-A that I tried to capture
    • Do a nice long warmup, to really get everyone going and chew in to the start of workout
    • An AMRAP workout is a nice lazy man’s Q that can be a good one for someone nervous about timing
    • Set a 5-minute warning on your watch to make sure to get everyone back to launch on time
    • Put your weinke on your phone, and if your concerned about people poking fun at you about it you can hide it by playing music

Summer School Doesn’t Suck Anymore

Cuthbertson High School was the site were ten Q wannabes were transformed into Q ready-to-bes through the terrific tutelage of Posse and Goodfella. Our fieldwork included discussing the disclaimer, working on cadence, running through some exercises (including triple nickel) and dissecting the various parts of the COT.

Upon concluding the post, Q School continued as we ventured over to Chick-Fil-A (no bagel boys in site) for additional tips, instructions, and insight. After we filled our bellies and brains, well-deserved thank yous were extended to Posse and Goodfella. We parted as better men and better leaders.

Back to School

12 PAX showed up for the edjamaction of new Q’s. Free biscuits after. Thank you to Posse and Goodfella

The Warm-up:

-took a mosey around the parking lot, followed by some cadence tutorials (examples of good & bad)

The Thang:

-partner work followed by laps with incline merkins

-Triple Nickel (burpees, merkins, Rosalita)

Moleskine:

Learned a lot, thanks to the expertise of instructors Posse and Goodfella

What Is Your Duck Poop Shuttle Time?

7 PAX decided to forego the fartsack and take advantage of the slightly cooler temps to “rock it” at Davinci. For some reason this seems to be a popular weekend to go out of town so YHC knew numbers would be light. In addition, YHC had a good buddy finally coming out for a first post after a long time trying to EH him. Armed with these strategic pieces of knowledge I decided to tailor the workout accordingly and do a lot of partner work so the 2nd F would be optimal.

The Thang

6:30 so disclaimer given but only 6 PAX at the time and no FNG. On the way out of the CFA parking lot YHC’s EH pulled up. We picked him up on the way out and moseyed to the Suntrust parking lot. Circled up and re-stated the disclaimer for the benefit of FNG (I may have known him forever but still don’t want any lawsuits).

SSH x 15

IW x 15

Peter Parkers x 12 then down to 6 inches

Parker Peters x 12 then down to 6 inches

Recover and mosey on to the First Citizens parking lot. This is really a mini parking lot so this was more of a continuation of the warm up. PAX partnered up with P1 bearcrawling from one side to the other with a merkin at each parking line. P2 runs a lap around the bank and flapjacks until the group made it down-back-down-back of the lot.

Mosey on to behind the Lash Studio on Ardrey Kell. Partner back up and like an Oprah show everyone gets a rock. Grab a rock suitable for both lifting and carrying (not running). Here things got interesting. Apparently rock piles are good homes for hornet/yellow jacket/wasp nests. After a couple of rocks were selected we disturbed a nest of something and there were some men scattering. Unfortunately our FNG got stung…spoiler alert I smell a name genesis. P1 did called exercise while P2 carried their rock over their head down to a spot and turned around. Flapjack until groups hit the combined designated number of reps.

Round 1 = 200 bicep curls

Flutter

Round 2 = 60 offset hand merkins with right hand on rock then 60 offset merkins with left hand on rock

Dolly

Round 3 = 150 tricep extensions

Rosalita

Put rocks back trying not to disturb our stinging friends. Mosey to the wall at the end of the Blakeney shopping center. Partner back up with P1 doing 5 wall climbs and P2 doing HR merkins. Flapjack for 4 sets. Saunter over to the Blakeney playground for some comfortable Mary on the rubberized playground. Various Mary called out by the PAX with J-Lo’s, flutter, Dolly, Merican Hammer and Escobar’s finale of the dying cockroach.

Back to launch with a couple of minutes left. Not wanting to waste any time the group planked with some hands and legs in the air and a couple of 10 counts of 6 inches. Finish.

Moleskin

On the way through Blakeney Escobar pointed out the high volume of duck poop and how it would be a good workout just avoiding the poop. YHC got a laugh thinking about running shuttle cone drills but instead of cones there is duck poop. Maybe for the next Q. Escobar also had the sage piece of advice that if the arms are not getting bigger from working out then just get smaller shirts. Swine Flu has embraced the gloom like no other and is a regular many times a week. The progress is showing brother and you are getting stronger and faster. Soft Pretzel was out in front as usual and would speed ahead to the next location and then circle back for the 6. Chopper continues to amaze me with his consistently high performance for any age must less at 59…RESPECT! Teddy, t-claps for posting after a cross country flight the night before. But I guess you need to keep posting in order to keep up with your social calendar.

After getting stung it was a foregone conclusion that our FNG would be named Hornet. Chopper clarified that they were actually wasps but all things considered we stuck with Hornet. I have known Hornet all my life so I told him he got off easy compared to the names that I had in mind. All kidding aside, great work buddy. You did awesome and look forward to seeing you in the gloom.

Announcements

A couple of Sandbox opportunities to put on your calendar. Reach out to Soft Pretzel if you can help. August 3rd painting and yard work 9-12 for an individual in need. Steel Creek area. The Friday night of Labor Day weekend we will be helping out at the Sandbox prom.

Apparently there is a pool party or something next Saturday. Hit up Mighty Mite for details.

Friday Funday with a Chicken

Disclaimer/DICCS
Do not sue me , the school or anyone else, Cell Phone ( no one had , sorry Posse), CPR certified ( we had like 6 people)– go at your own pace and do not get hurt…

The Warm Up

Mosey around lot one time then hit the trail for additional warm up…

While Moseying down trial stop for below while also looking for Credit Score who pulled a Rudy — he went on a search for a potty break before the workout.

5 burpees

run backwards for from one light pole to another

5 burpees

Stop at Intersection for more warm up ( we found Credit Score — whewww) No man left behind while the Chicken is running the show,,)

15- low slow squats

14- imperial walkers

15- Merkins

Calf Stretches

10 Big Boy sit ups

The Thang


Mosey to Transporter Shed and grab some wall in squat position

25 air jabs

100 air presses

50 air jabs

50 air presses

Mosey up hill to cover area near buses for some individual work on your on- The TRIPLE NICKEL– WHOP WHOP!

5 – column merkins under covered area then mosey to benches near cafeteria for 30 dips- do 5 sets and since running did not qualify today as the 3rd exercises we did 2 burpees between each station there and back– complete 5 rounds

Mosey the long way around the other set of buses and the stairway ares for some partner work- but while on the way stop for some planks, shoulder tab merkins- 10 and bobby hurlies- 20 ( in honor of the OG Recalculating) to keep the PAX together

Partner work

200 crunches

50 big boy sit ups

50 mike tysons

other partner run to below stairs for 2 burpees

Mosey back to Transporter Shed for some wall work and stopping on way back to keep PAX together for Bobby Hurley’s- 25

Face wall and do Squats- 25

Wall stand and while holding your wall stand do 25 inverted imperial walkers- YIKES!! stole that from Shake in Bake..

Mosey back up trail

25 lunge walks

mosey

10 lunge walks

mosey

Sprint to the end of trail… whewwwwwwww

The Moleskin

Great morning for the PAX. All Pax members pushed themselves — we ended a great day only to be taken out by Flipper who stepped up with a great message… ( excellent words today young lad). I appreciate the opportunity to lead this fine group of men today.

FYI- This young group of men Flipper, Joy, and a new FNG ( Nutmeg) are pushing themselves and others around them- these dudes as teenagers are impressive as I would have never showed up with a bunch of old dudes at their age to do what we do— impressive to say the least..

Annoucements

Mad Dog- basically strong armed people for Q school – hopefully it worked 6-7 light workout at Cuthbertson tomorrow followed by paperwork and fellowship from 7-8 at Chic-Fil-A

Welcome a new FNG- Nutmeg– who is visited from out of town but is staying in the Briars and the Crest so we get extra credit– sorry Lawson !!

#tclap | 6

2nd Hand Smokers Teeth

Current Status:

  • Hops: Vigorously refreshing browser to see when BB is posted
  • Header: Furiously writing last 7 backblasts
  • TR: Indubitably watching WHAM videos on YouTube
  • Turkey Leg: Suspiciously Supergluing newly formed calluses back on
  • Chin Music: Regrettably remembering those double snatches
  • VooDoo: Unfortunately realizing that this morning was his fault
  • Hoover: Likely still doubled over laughing
  • Victoria: Seriously wondering what just happened
  • Baracus: Definitely not running (hang in there buddy)
  • Horsehead: Painfully realizing that I don’t normally do this much of the workout

THANG:

  • Warmup without kettlebells, that some people skipped completely.
  • (10 merkins + 20 swings) * (5 sets)
  • 1-10 Ladder – Row, Swing, Goblet, Thruster
  • 30 Swings
  • 1-10 Ladder – 1H Swing, Clean, High Pull, Snatch
  • 30 Swings
  • Clean & Press Ladder
  • Snatch to Clean to Racked Squat Ladder
  • 30 Swings
  • RDLs
  • Sweat Ladder
  • Shakes

SKIN:

Despite my best efforts, today eventually landed upon us and now we are all wondering what really happened out there this morning. I’m still not completely sure, but here are a few nuggets:

  • Hops made his annual MeatHead trip for the purposes of shovelflag shaming and complaining about his injuries pre, during, and post workout. He’s always looking for that one quote to bring it home, and I think he keeps a journal of the dumb things that I allegedly say. Somehow, 2nd Hand Smokers Teeth came into play this morning. I’m not exactly sure what the context was, but it may have to do with TR’s self-proclaimed buttery whites.
  • The 80’s movie soundtrack was a huge hit, and the pax demonstrated some freakish knowledge of accompanying cultural references. Andrew Ridgeley being the 2nd member of WHAM! was likely the crown jewel of this inutile knowledge. Thanks TR. I’m glad I watched that YouTube video also.
  • Hoover seemed skeptical when I suggested the medical benefits of SuperGlue for chemically suturing wounds. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t trust me for your medical needs, after all we’ve been through together, but you have to make those decisions yourself.
  • Turkey Leg, on the other hand, just texted me and has somehow superglued himself to, well . . . himself. It’s complicated and a bit embarrassing. Somebody needs to call somebody to do something after we get some photos.
  • Nobody complained that Werewolves of London was technically a late 70’s tune that somehow got added to the list.
  • It’s nice that they just repaved the parking lot. It’s almost as if somebody has been pushing farming implements around on the asphalt. Suspicious.
  • My hands are still shaking a bit. Feels like I just hit an extra large range bucket of Dunlop DDHs with some Spalding blades.

If you know someone going through a tough time, don’t ask them if there is anything you can do. That’s a thoughtless gift card that never gets cashed in. You need to show up and serve them somehow, even it it means getting treated like a servant.

P.S. Here’s the playlist:

Until next time,

Horsehead