Monthly Archive July 2019

Burpees and Mike Tysons are like Peanut Butter and Jelly

DiCCS (Disclaimer, Cell phone, CPR, Safety)

15 men made it out this morning 

Mosey to towards Middle School and stop near bus area to circle up

Warm-up:

  • Side Straddle Hop x 20 IC
  • Merkins x 10 IC
  • Imperial Walkers x 20 IC
  • Calf Stretch x 15 seconds, flapjack
  • Merkin into upward dog, hold for 10 second then transition to downward dog for 10 second
  • Extend left leg forward in lunge position with right leg back, hold arms above head for 10 second then twist right elbow to left knee and hold (This probably has a name but I’ll defer to our in house yoga expert Goodfella)
  • Flapjack the above

The Thang:

Mosey to the front of the Middle School

  • 1 Big Boy sit up, 4 single count American Hammers
  • Increase by 1 and 4 until we get to 10 Big Boy sit ups and 40 single count American Hammers

Mosey a few feet to the benches in entrance way of school

  • 20 Derkins, 20 Dips, 20 Step ups
  • Run a lap around the entire front parking lot (no half laps here)
  • Repeat 2 more times
  • Group elbow plank for 1 minute

Mosey towards Globe, stop halfway to regroup and circle up

  • 20 Heels to Blue Heaven IC
  • 20 LBCs IC

Mosey to Globe and stop.

  • 5 Mike Tysons
  • Run to first light pole for 5 Burpees
  • Run back to Globe for 5 Mike Tysons
  • 5 Burpees at 1st light pole, 5 Burpees at 2nd light pole
  • Run back to Globe for 5 Mike Tysons
  • 5 Burpees at 1st light pole, 5 Burpees at 2nd light pole, 5 Burpees at 3rd light pole
  • Run back to Globe for 5 Mike Tysons
  • 5 Burpees at 1st light pole, 5 Burpees at 2nd light pole, 5 Burpees at 3rd light pole, 5 burpees at 4th light pole
  • Circle back for the six and complete the final sets of Burpees, some got in an extra 5, 10, or 15 Burpees

Mosey to bottom of High School Parking Lot Hill

  • AYG to top of hill, 10 Merkins
  • Mosey to bottom of hill to COT, 10 Merkins
  • Still have 60 second left so Plank on elbows until 6:15

Done!

MOLESKIN

Dana asked me last Friday if I would Q the great Camel Dromedary today.  I’ve learned by now when asked you should say yes.  Also, I really like the Marvin Ridge campus and it has a lot to offer.


I’ve been dealing with a calf issue like 50% of the PAX seem to be dealing with right now so I wasn’t planning on doing a lot of running.  Deadwood seemed disappointed before we started on that plan – sorry.  My watch said 2.55 miles so hopefully everyone got in at least 2 miles.

Is anyone in WUC good with physics?  I wonder if there is any correlation between height and the speed of a burpee because I have never seen someone complete 60+ burpees as fast at Goodfella this morning. Way to kill it, encourage others, and circle back for the six.

I did something similar with Burpees and Mike Tysons at Clyent Dinner a few weeks ago.  I thought it was horrible because of the heat and humidity but today seemed to suck just as much.  Maybe having the Burpees and Mike Tysons and the end of the workout makes it worse than if they had been at the beginning. Or not, who knows

Pretty quiet for the most part today but everyone really pushed it, worked hard, and we stayed together for the most part.  Great job everyone

Thank you for the opportunity to lead.

Also, I saw this in another backblast recently and thought it worth repeating:

“If you know someone going through a tough time, don’t ask them if there is anything you can do. That’s a thoughtless gift card that never gets cashed in. You need to show up and serve them somehow, even if it means getting treated like a servant.”

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

  • Take group photos to send to marketing after every workout and send to directly Zinfandel
  • Bushwood CC is having their HARD launch this Tuesday, August 6th at Marvin Elementary.  Watchtower will be converging for this HARD launch so Bushwood CC at Marvin Elementary is the ONLY game in town next Tuesday
  • F3 Dads this Saturday at 9am at Dogwood Park.  Bango on Q.  Bring your 2.0s out for a great time with donuts at Dunkin afterwards.
  • Waxhaw Elementary needs YOUR help this Saturday from 8-11am.  Please sign up here to help out, especially if you can run a pressure washer: https://m.signupgenius.com/#!/showSignUp/508094bafae23a7f94-sprucing
  • Saturday, August 24th is Adopt-a-Downtown Waxhaw Clean Up sponsored by WUC F3.  8-10am and park at the church where we meet for Floater (Waxhaw United Methodist Church).
  • Goodfella is concerned with everyone staying hydrated with the heat and humidity.  Please hydrate and hydrate often.  If concerned, scared, and unsure of your current hydration status please send pictures of your urine color directly to him for analysis (multiple pictures throughout the day is not only acceptable but encouraged).

Perfect 7 Defeats 666

With the scheduled Q @HannibalF3 in the Gateway to the West, @Lorax in a canoe fishing and @BrushbackF3 sleeping soundly inside his gated community across the street, YHC took the Q for this morning’s #F3Anvil

7 of us gathered beneath the lights of Calvary. 7 is the number of perfection. Only appropriate that we took on The Beast. And won.

The Thang —

After a mosey to the front parking lot for the usual COP of IWs, MCs, Merkins, and LSSs, we took our places at the last island. There are 8 of them, which was good for 6 stops in between the two ends. We stopped at each of the inner islands for 6 reps of the called exercises: Merkins, Squats, Flutters, CDDs, Jump Squats, and Burpees. Then we ran over the #HotBox for a 10, 15, 20 of Step-Ups, Dips, and Derkins. A short mosey to the pitch facing the hill revealed a soaked field…#Omaha. We skipped the planned hill sprints and moseyed the new parking lot rock pile for another 10, 15, 20 of Curls, Tricep Presses, and Overhead Presses. Back to the launch point for some random Mary. Done.

The Skinny —

YHC pulled into the parking lot at Calvary, noticing a car strategically parked in the big lot where all spots were in view. Once he made visual of where we were, FNG Brian navigated the cone-filled lot and parked by us. Turn out his #PastorOfPain mentioned @F3Nation and he looked up a nearby workout. Thanks to Magoo’s waterboard interrogation techniques, we learned a lot about our FNG…locations of every house he’s owned, his SSN, and I think even a bank account number. The native of the Badger state, turned Chicagoan, now Charlottean is a Best Buy rep…named him #CircuitCity. @Magoo may be the CapitalOne hacker.

@Runstopper flexed all morning. The intimidation started with the tight shorts and continued with the short-armed burpee advantage. Then he chose Jump-Ups over Step-Ups and picked a rock that weighed more than him. #NapoleanComplex

@Snuka would not be outdone by Stopper and decided on Jump-Ups as well. Sprinted everywhere as usual. The man is likely the next spokesperson for Cenegenics, unless his Flutter form is one of the small print termination clauses.

The only thing last about @Brilleaux is when he shows up for the workout. Otherwise, he’s out front the whole time, for everything. And @PopTart put the work in, despite a little shoulder injury that he allegedly incurred during taste test #2ndF Q missions.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead. Great takeout by Stopper.

There is no “BALL” in team!

I pulled into Latin this morning about 5:20. Even though it was advertised Fast Twitch would converge with Swift this morning, there were 10ish cars already in the lot, meaning the thoroughbreds were surprisingly out there somewhere. I walked down to the track to see if they were running intervals or some such nonsense. They weren’t, however, the sprinklers on the football field were running. This presented a problem as I had a lot planned for that field today a la a mock NFL Mini Camp. As I wept and pouted walking back to the launch area, I tweaked my plan and greeted the 17 hearty studs who came ready to run the grid iron. I gave a quick disclaimer, thanked Hops for bringing a second football and off we ran to the track:

Warm Up:

15 SSH (amazing how many men have joined the refusnik party on that exercise)

15 IW’s

15 MC’s

The Stuff:

Mosey to the middle of the track for instructions on a Leatherhead Indian Run. We formed two lines. The first guy hands the ball to the second guy while running, the second guy passes it on behind him and so on. Last guy in line can’t run to the front until he gets the football. Also, if you fumble, your whole team does 10 merkins. Just to provide a demonstration, Geraldo decided to immediately pull an Earnest Byner and fumbled at the start. 10 merkins for that team. In hindsight, I think I may have made too much of an example of ole Geraldo. Mea culpa, brother! One lap later we stopped for BALL

So, here is my explanation of BALL! See if this makes sense! Two teams. Two guys from each team run up and down the steps of either side of the Hawk’s stadium. Whilst they run, their teammates perform one of four exercises….Burpees, American Hammers, LBCs or Lt. Dans. The timer for each exercise is the runner. The acronym is BALL to make it easier to remember. I don’t know if my instructions were too quick, if 5:40 A.M. is an awful time to be told to do anything, or if the average GPA of the two teams was equivalent to Blutarsky’s from Animal House, but somehow this $#^! got twisted. We finally figured it out on round two, so all was not lost.

One more Leatherhead Indian Run before heading to the Lacrosse Field:

We lined up at the goal line on the MAC side of the field. One man throws (although Spackler kicked…..kind of) the ball down the field. We drop for 10 of stated exercise on the goal line, run to the position where the ball landed and do 15 of the same, then run back to the baseline for 20. Puddin’ Pop threw a mediocre Trent Dilfer level pass right to the goal in front of us (don’t be sad about the Dilfer comment PP…..he has a ring after all!). We did Heals to Heaven to honor Puddin’s throw. Next was Revlon, who threw a Peyton Manning bomb which also ended up being the longest chuck. We did HR Merkins to praise Revlon’s certain HOF effort! Next came Spackler, who opted for the kick and engaged a Phil Dawson (Arizona) limp biscuit which landed about 25 yards ahead of us. It was kind of resting recovery! Flutters were the exercise de jour. Lastly, Leprechaun threw a respectable Boomer Esiason (lefty) worthy toss. We celebrated that one with CDD’s.

We did tunnel of love, with the “crawler” having to hold the football while moving through the tunnel. Lots of resistance on that one. I think half the dudes stood around for 10 seconds waiting to see if I was serious. I get it….artificial turf does burn. Semi Gloss stated “Hopper, you’ve been in F3 too long”!

We ended with 10 gassers with ten counts in between.

Mosey back to the launch site where Hops led the pax in some last minute Mary!

That’s a wrap.

Moleskin:

We covered 2.02 miles a la my Garmin. I wasn’t sure how many miles we would pick up given so many exercises, so I was glad to crest two. Not sure everyone else enjoyed this workout, but I enjoyed drafting it. Thanks for humoring me boys! I think some of us were suffering from O2 deprivation by the end as several guys were having difficulty remembering the Proper Name-F3 Name-Age mantra during Name-o-rama. Truly great crowd this morning boys and thanks for being there. Go Clemson, Gamecocks, Tar Heels, Deacons, Buckeyes, Illini, Bama, Wolfpack and any other collegiate football favorites represented this morning!

Announcements:

Prayers and thoughts go out to Strange Brew who is recovering at Novant Matthews from a viral condition.

Purple Haze…..thank you for the closing prayer!

What is up with the counting today?!?!?!?!?!

What do you do when coming back from a 2-week beach vacation? I mean doesn’t everyone Q? I will say that I did do two workouts on the grandstrand and had planned to do more but I was taken out by a body surfer and tweaked my knee a bit. The person will remain anonymous (Schneider). Plus vacation took hold, so I really needed this today. 16 other men decided to join me in a 12’s workout today at The WatchTower.

Yours truly drove a clown car this morning. I knew it was going to be a glorious day when I opened my garage door to find Banjo and Juiced waiting for me to come out. We picked up Zin and we were off. Pulled into the lot, put it in park. Zin bolted out of the truck as if he was a wanted fugitve for a quick run. I guess he needed to loosen up after the Spartan race. In case anyone missed it, Zin and DW did a Spartan race this past weekend in Asheville. Way to represent boys. The PAX exchanged pleasantries, DICCS were given, and we were off.

THAT THANG

Mosey around school to main road and circle around the flags.

calf stretch and jimmy dugans avoiding the clap. This was for our spartan warriors.

Merkins x12 Peter Parkers x12 Parker Peters x12 and Mountain Climbersx12

Mosey to the school buses. Alternating buses Jump Squatsx12 and Jump Lunges x12. At least till we got to the opposite side. Who knew there were so many dang buses. We audibled to every other bus. Pretty sure legs were screaming.

Mosey to light post by bus exit. Hit every light post on the perimeter of parking lot ending at main entrance to school. Alternating lights Monkey Humpers x12 and Speedskaters x12. Circle back for the 6. By now the PAX was really wondering what was up with the counting. Everyones legs were on fire and I know Zin enjoyed it as he said, “What did someone tell you that your legs were fat at the beach?” No sir they did not.

Mosey over to Basketball court. Partner up or in our case 3. One partner runs a series of 4 sprints the length of the court while the other holds the plank. “How many times did you say?” “Till I say stop” It was fun.

Mosey over to rear of school to grab some wall. I heard some rumblings. “I think we are going to that donkey kick thing again.” The thought had crossed my mind but not this time. Started with 45 second seated wall squat. 36 donkey kicks on your own. Then a “hot lap” around the track. pick up the 6. back to wall big boy sit ups x24 with a lap. pick up the six. back to the wall. no exercise just a hot lap. we were out of time and made it back a minute passed time or as many said on Hooch time.

Everyone pushed really hard today. We had the usual suspects with DW, Zin, and Blue Screen leading the pack. Schneider has gotten progressively faster over the last couple months. Can’t wait to hear from you when you reach 5 miles non-stop. Plus he will have a VQ at the end of August. Juiced had never worked out really ever in his life. He is now running two miles with us at workouts in about a month worth of workouts. Everyone coming out today got a good sweat going.

So 51 weeks ago I got a text from my B of the C brethren about this workout called “F3”. My first question was how much? I said this because I knew Banjo loved squandering his money on crossfit. They said it was free. My response was free was me. Boy I didn’t know what I was in store for when I showed up at my first workout 1 year or 12 months ago today. I thought I was going to fall over by the end but I came back. I came back over and over again. Honestly, I love this band of misfits. Yes I am in better shape than I have been in probably 20 years but it is really the bond of brotherhood that makes this whole thing special. I know for a fact that I am a better leader, father, and man thanks to my brothers. So THANK YOU!

ANNOUNCEMENTS

See Zin or DW for next Spartan opportunity in October

Posse posted link for Waxhaw Elementary clean up. Lets have a strong F3 presence

Zin procured us an adopt a road in downtown waxhaw near water tower. He will lead the charge on first clean up.

DB starts new job on 8/5. Thanks for the prayers and help. He is also still collecting shampoos.

August is a different Q month. Only 1 Q per person for the month of August. Deadwood is still crying about this one.

Bushwood CountryClub officically opens up next Tuesday!!

Thanks Blue Screen for taking us out.

Christmas Carols in the Asylum

The (slightly) cooler weather this past week had YHC dreaming of a white Christmas and that made it an easy decision to pull out the ol’ “Twelve Days of Christmas in July” weinke. Nothing like a little caroling to get the PAX to forget the heat and imagine the arctic temperatures of Christmas.

Warm Up:

Mosey around behind the Hickory Tavern for 40 SSHs, where we’re joined by Shop Dawg (Dog?) for another wee mosey back to the front and 20 Imperial Squawkers. Finish up back where we started and head into…

The Thang:

Short one easel, YHC had a printout taped to the rear window of his car entitled “The Twelve Days of Christmas in July”. They were as follows:

  • 1 Lap around the parking lot
  • 2 Turkish Get Ups
  • 3 LBCs
  • 4 Jump Squats
  • 5 Diamond Merkins (I couldn’t find any exercises with “gold” in the title)
  • 6 Imperial Walkers
  • 7 Mike Tysons
  • 8 Big Boy Sit Ups
  • 9 Low Slow Squats
  • 10 Lunges (each leg)
  • 11 Merkins
  • 12 Burpees

Now if you know the song (and who doesn’t) then you know you do the numbers in order but you always count down and do the previous numbers as well. Well this set of exercises is no different. So when we did FIVE DIAMOND MERKINS!! (sung at a loud volume for full effect) it was then followed by 4 Jump Squats, 3 LBCs, 2 Turkish Get Ups, and “A lap around the parking lot for me!” I can tell you, we started with a few Scrooges and a couple of Grinches, but by the end everyone was reluctantly singing along.

For those of you that struggle in the math department (or are just lazy) the total numbers equal out to:

  • 12 laps
  • 22 Turkish Get Ups
  • 30 LBCs
  • 36 Jump Squats
  • 40 Diamond Merkins
  • 42 Imperial Walkers
  • 42 Mike Tysons (Dana’s favorite)
  • 40 Big Boy Sit Ups
  • 36 Low Slow Squats
  • 30 Lunges
  • 22 Merkins
  • 12 Burpees

We finished the full song with about 10 minutes to spare, so we moseyed to the short wall in front of Hickory Tavern for 20 step-ups (each leg), 20 dips, and 10 Derkins. We finished out the morning with some Mary, including Heels to Heaven, Freddie Mercury, Supermans, and then a wall sit with air presses (I think we made it to 70) to finish us out.

Moleskin:

I like this particular activity because it keeps the group together but still manages to hit all the major zones of arms, legs, and core, plus some running. I made sure to emphasize that we’re doing the Twelve Days exercises together as a group and even threatened the gazelles with burpees if they finished their lap early. While a few PAX did do a few extra burpees, we mostly stuck together as a group. I, like many others, don’t always have (or make) the time for the 2nd or 3rd F. That’s something we all definitely need in our lives, is the camaraderie, the accountability, and the opportunity to talk with our fellow HIM. So while it probably isn’t Deadwood approved, I enjoy the stories, the jokes, and the ability to catch up on others’ lives while we slog together through the 1st F. I appreciate all my fellow F3 brothers for giving me that early morning motivation to get out of bed and improve my body, mind, and soul.

Announcements:

Speed for Need coming up on September 14th. See Swimmers for details. He’ll be posting more info as well in the near future

3rd F opportunity for you, 2.0s and your M – Saturday, August 3rd @ 0800 – 1100 at Waxhaw Elementary School. New principal trying to get community to rally and get involved, this time with helping spruce up the outside of the school. You can sign up at this link.

Trix Are For Kids

I like to mix things up and add in new moves from time to time (Trix?). The same ole same ole gets boring and its fun to keep the pax on their toes (Young?). Yeah, I know its a stretch but I couldn’t come up with a clever title so that’s all I got. Today, I may have been a little overzealous trying to add in some new things. Some would say 3 new moves were added in today….others would argue they are just variations of things we already do.

I’ve got to roll to Raleigh soon so this will likely be a more abbreviated BB than your use to from me (I will wait for the applause to die down).

I wanted to try to keep us moving today (I’d give myself a 7 on that as I had to catch my own breath a few times). I also wanted to hit all major muscle groups (that you can do without gear) – chest, shoulders, and legs. I also wanted to leading guys to circle back giving the clydesdales in the back no excuse but to push it today. Middle guys would be given a cardio/ab exercise to do as I didn’t want heart rates dropping too much.

DICCS given (though not nearly at the intensity and passion that Posse gives them).

WARM UP

Hot lap around the parking lot. Jimmy Dugan while waiting on everyone to get in.

Plank up for calf stretches. I demonstrated the first “new” move while pax were finishing up calf stretch.

Pulse Merkins: in cadence (4 count) Down, up halfway, down, up all the way.

5 pulse merkins in cadence to make sure everyone had them.

Pulse Merkin Ladder: Start at first lighting pole and do 1, work up to 8(? maybe 9?) at Transporters Shed Rudy’s Royal Rumble? As I got to the end, my arms were shaking and by chest hurt…I’m hoping the rest of the pax felt it as much as I did.

Middle Group (that didn’t go back for the 6) wall sit and start our second new(?) exercise. I didn’t have a name for this one so if you do this again, feel free to name it. In wall sit position, slap wall low (below butt) and raise arms over your head (not bent like a press but like a front arm raise) and slap the wall above your head.

Once 6 got in I had the six count out 25 for all of us to do. Some of the early middle group guys started complaining about having already done 25….yes, that was the point.

Mosey towards high school football stadium stopping at the wide sidewalk for 40 crawl bears first.

25 Squat jumps holding the fence allowing for a deeper squat (insert double entendre sex joke here).

Mosey to large parking lot for Starfish Legs. 5 Aussie Burpees in the center. Four corners were 15 Berishnikoffs left, 15 Berishnikoffs right, 30 squats, and 30 monkey humps. Much to the delight of those who finished early, I called out more aussie burpees until six finished.

50 T claps as we walked to our next starting point. Peanut gallery in full effect during the walk led by the head peanut himself – Recalculating who exclaimed that “Mad Dog” our current MASH pax, had just passed us. The walking T Claps was slightly intentional – I hadn’t intended on them taking that long, but I did want pax to catch their breath before the next part.

Sprint up the hill towards Middle School Road. (In all honestly, it was a longer run than I remembered). Al Gore while waiting on pax to get in…ready to demonstrate next newish move, when a jeep comes in hot. EVERYONE OUT OF THE WAY! Ok, crisis averted.

New Move: Inch Worm Dry Docks. Similar to inch worm merkins, except you do the dry dock at the top of the inch worm (instead of the merkin at the bottom). I think the guys in the back understood, but it looks like our resident teenagers – tupperware and sprinkles never really quite got to inch worm part…..or they just really would rather do bear crawls. Either way they led the pack most of the day so I can’t talk too much trash to either as they killed it.

Another Car!!! Damn it people. School’s out, its 6:00 am. What in the world are you do at the school? Ok, Ok, Ok, deep breaths fuse…woosah.

Audible one light short of the original called goal and do dry docks until the six finished. Mosey to middle school benches (yes benches, not what you think I said). Teams of 3. Pax 1, up and over the benches (guys seemed to get this one better than in past times calling it. I didn’t see any double feet going). Pax 2: Heels to Heaven. Pax 3: Windshield Wipers. Two rounds.

Mosey to starting parking lot and line up for aussie burpee suicides. 1 at the start and ends. 3 light poles. If you finished early, start T clapping and walking towards shovel flag. 6:15 – we done.

MOLESKIN

A great group of guys out there today. 15 total (I think). Thanks for hanging in there with me on the new moves. I’ve had some clunkers in the past, but I think all three landed pretty solidly today (I think).

Posse out of the gate was killing it today. Glad to see the drive coming strong off his powerful back blast yesterday. If you didn’t read it – go read it. He and I had an at length conversation after I read it yesterday that one thing I learned in F3 is that the Sad Clown is always lurking. I thought I would just beat it and it would never show again, but I’ve learned its constantly waiting to jump back on you and you have to keep working and pushing to keep it at bay. For some of us its the workout, the diet, or maybe even the fellowship aspect that we struggle with. Others may be dealing with even bigger issues. As posse stated, reach out to someone. I think most of us here are willing to listen.

Sprinkles at Tupperware killed it today. Consistently in the front. Sprinkles went out of his way several times to pick up the six. Nice job young man. (Tupperware may have to, I just didn’t notice it as much as I did Sprinkles).

Recalc missed much of the summer, but it appears he kept his mouth in training the whole time. Didn’t miss a beat out there today. Some good push from him as well today.

I’m running late so I will have to cut the Moleskin short (gross). But again, thanks for hanging in there during the explanation of new stuff today. Good work by all.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Clean up at Waxhaw Elementary this Saturday from 8-11. Already have some pax signed up – but they need more help. Posse to post more info in News Channel.

Bottle Cap reminded us that we need 47 different Q’s for the August challenge of no repeat Q’s. If you are not signed up, get with a site Q before your voluntold (Like Chipolte this morning).

Premature Q-Jackulation

7/9/19 7:10 PM
Rubbermaid: You want to Q commitment July 27
7/9/19 8:36 PM
Posse: Sure. I didn’t want to go to the Crane anyway.

Scouting & prepping for weeks to find something new for the Commitment Pax, I clutched my pearls when Run Flat rolls up in the literal 6:29 to say “I’m Q’ing today.”
“Dude”, I whispered, “I’ve already got some stuff out there…can you push to next week?”

RF disappointingly accepts, and I dispense the DiCCS in a more whimsical fashion than my previous monologue. Pax this time were hung up when I asked for a show of hands of who had BOTH the desire and certified knowledge to save a man’s life, even if it meant applying chest compressions and putting your mouth on another man’s mouth? To no one’s surprise, Damascus asked, “What if you have the desire but aren’t certified?”

The Warmup

Paula Abdul’s using the trees on the right.
2 trees up = 10 Carolina Dry Docks
1 tree back = 5 Diamond Merkins
I could tell most everyone was thinking this was going to be pretty easy. But by 6 trees in, the Diamonds were starting to cut.
J-Wow & Damascus crushed this pretty quick, so they already moved to the rock piles for our next event.

Pick a lifting rock. Most Pax are now skeptical when instructed to do this, so we did bench presses until everyone was in & on their back with a rock.
Walk 10 feet to see a drawing that looked like Sanscrit to most (because it took way to long to explain what to do).
The diagram had the rightmost building of the school displayed. To the right of the school are sidewalks that form a triangle. Rocks are going to be deposited at each corner. With 8 rock-wielding Pax, the fastest 3 will drop their rocks at the farthest corner; slowest 2 drop their rocks at the closest corner, etc.
Legalized, typically downplaying his fitness, is in the top 3 here! #GoodNewsBadNews
Regroup for SSH.

To keep the mystery in my madness, we don’t use the rocks just yet. Instead, we go to the hill for 7’s: Plank Jacks & Rosalita’s.
Where is there a hill? Next to the big set of steps connecting the school to the baseball fields. It is graded such that one side is at least twice the length of the other, so Pax can pick their position.
Because we started at the top of the hill, Pax believe it’s easy & fun (possibly). They didn’t realize that means they also make an additional climb to finish at the top.
Regroup back at the Boulder Triangle for Imperial Walkers.

25 bicep curls
25 tricep curls
25 thrusters
hot lap between each exercise – touch the yellow chain on the far side of the parking lot (1 route was longer for the gazelles)
When you finish all 3 corners, grab a rock & take it back to the pile. Fuse & I finish at our 3rd corner at the same time. I start to admonish him for taking the rock back from the corner that only has 2 rocks. He says, “But everyone else is done. They all have rocks, too.” I looked back to see it was true. Everyone had finished within seconds of each other, regardless of ability! Wow, I should really teach a class in keeping Pax together.

While we’re doing this, Mad Dog is doing his MASH with us (more on that later). I realize the next thing we’re about to do has some obstacles on it. During one of my hot laps, I ask him to head there ahead of us and take care of it for me. Ever the #ServantLeader, he does it. I still don’t know what happened to those obstacles, but I’ve learned to never ask a Marine how he makes his sausage.

Mosey behind the school, where there are 2 large & wide benches (formally topped with clothes). Pax follow me as we double leg hop over the benches.
We all know to not let Damascus be behind us during the workout. Unfortunately, Run Flat learned to not let Damasus be in front of him either. As we traverse down the benches, Damascus’ foot finds Run Flat’s face. Probably an honest accident, but part of me is haunted by Damascus’ question to put his desire into action today. Coffeteria would find a very bloodshot eye in the Flattest of all Runners.

Suicide Doors
15 American Hammers at door 1.
10 Bomb Jacks at the other doors around the building, in a suicide fashion.
Damascus leads Supermans while waiting for the 6.

Bears on the Ski Slopes
10 burpees just to get people spread out
Bear crawl up the ramp of each of 4 learning cottages
Rail walk down the ramp
Between each learning cottage, take a hot lap doing mogul jumps over a short playground balance beam.
Several questioned the safety of doing the rail walks. But I know the quality that goes into each UCPS railing & had full confidence in their steel.
Carb Load stepping up to lead LBC’s while waiting for the 6.

Swerkins (feet in a swing while doing merkins)
Partner by opposite ability
150 swerkins as a team; alternate with running to the rock
Partner transition included a handslap merkin that did NOT count for the 150. Twinkle Toes threatened me with partner carries if I didn’t recant the noncounts. #NoDice
My runs to the rock had me nostalgic for Saturdays to come.
I picked J-Wow as my partner, knowing I had a ringer. Then was surprised in my last trip that I had to finish the last 15 swerkins. He had a sly smile that had me thinking he went to 300 while waiting for me to return & just needed a run to clear the mind.

Mosey to the front of the school where we grapevined left & right to Mad Dog doing some dynamic stretches.

Continue mosey to the fields, where someone had placed cones the length of the soccer field in EXACT 10-yard increments. How could someone convert a soccer field to a football field with no measuring tools? Band.

Human Hurdles
Same partners. P1 runs to the 10-yard cone & planks. P2 jumps over P1 and goes on the next cone, where he planks. Repeat down the field.
This is one of my favorite things to do as a summer Q. Takes me back to when I was a latchkey kid and would stack pillows between 2 chairs and see how many I could jump over. For J-Wow, though, it must have been PTSD-ish, as he kept planking lower & lower every time I had to jump him.

Human Bridges
We gotta get back to the other side of the field. So this time you have to army crawl under your partner. Some Pax outright refused, choosing to bear crawl around their partner. Not accustomed to refusenik behavior. I’ll show you.

Tunnel of Love
Everyone plank up shoulder to shoulder facing the same direction. I begin the army crawl underneath each of the Pax, followed by everyone else. Fusebox was with me the last time I did this. And while he proclaims to be a non-touchy person, he made no attempt to army crawl under us. Choosing instead to do a simple crawl on all 4’s, resulting in his back collecting bodily fluids off the front of each one of us. I couldn’t even plank high enough for him as he carried me for a couple of feet until I slid off from excessive Pax lubricant. Me thinks he doth protest too much.

Bridge of Hate
Never done this one before, and it showed.
Everyone on their back, still in close quarters. Pax get carried down the line, ala crowd surfing / mosh pit surfing.
I go first to demonstrate. I lay on Run Flat, waiting for him to push me up & towards the crowd. All I hear are no’s. You people. I discovered the wrong kind of hate.

Fine, Jack Webbs. I’ll show you. Normally, I like the JW. This time, they called out the #AngryQ. I’m calling out the first 4 rounds with no one saying a thing. I have to remind them that unless they answer me, I can’t see them through my blind rage. They come around on round 5.
Just before the 10th round, I say “Halfway there…”. Twinkle Toes startles out of his own gloom for a moment. It’s fun to be taken too literal sometimes.

As we cross the street to the starting parking lot, Damascus marvels how we ended on the second of 60 minutes worked. Thanks. You don’t want to know what was next if we had any more time left.

Moleskine

Mad Dog is leading a MASH initiative in this region. If you are injured or recovering from an injury, it can be lonely staying at home, especially when you have sampled the insane fellowship F3 brings to men. Because we now have multiple workouts every weekday, most Pax can delay reaching out to someone they haven’t seen in a while, assuming they must have been in a different AO. The loneliness will cause you to spiral further down.
Instead, come on out with us. Walk the perimeter of the AO. Or walk to the stations the Q has set up. Do some stretches while others do exercises. Be the form police. I don’t care; just show! You need this as much as we need you there.
Reach out to the Pax you know are hurting, physically or mentally. MASH will not be nearly as effective when only 1 Pax is doing it. It takes a minimum of 2 men to do this.
You could even do this for the men who are so worried about their (lack of) fitness that they never post. Maybe a try it before you buy it?

I had a moleskine from my last Q to assess my 4 years in F3. It never got published because it was taking too long to complete it. With Commitment being my first ever posting, this is as good a time as any to reflect.

My 4-year story doesn’t print so cleanly as others.

  • Down 40 pounds the first year; now up 30 (& it ain’t muscle).
  • Definitely slower mile times than 1 or 2 years ago.
  • No significant gains in strength as shown by pull-ups, merkin varieties, etc.
  • Spartan Trifecta & 2 Sprint Triathlons in Y1-Y2 that I wouldn’t consider repeating right now.
  • While I love picking up the 6, I notice the 6 have moved on up. For almost all of you, we’ve spent time in the back together; now all I see is your back. And I couldn’t be more proud jealous frustrated with myself.

Maybe for some of you, a switch flips, and you’re off to the races. You’ve beaten the Sad Clown. Congrats!

Maybe you’re more like me, where you fight a gaggle of clowns each day. Different outfits. Different voices. Different lies. Struggling more than necessary.

The most prevalent lies lately have been “You have no value; you serve no purpose; you’re just taking up space.”

However, a couple of events have helped me just about wipe the makeup off this clown.

I was asked to be one of four WUC Pax to investigate forming our own region. I was honored, but the clown said, “Look at those other 3 guys; you don’t belong there! You just have longevity, not leadership!” But when the clown wasn’t looking, I said yes.
Meeting after meeting, I would contribute a little more. At one point, as they were describing the role of a Weasel Shaker, Mad Dog says, “Oh, that’s Posse.” I gave him my classic WTF look, but others were looking and nodding. I couldn’t see in myself what was obvious to others. #BlindSpot
But I will believe more about what others think about me than what I think about myself. By being around so many HIM, the clown is getting worn down. That voice is getting quieter. Clown’s got a case of laryngitis, and it may be terminal.

The other thing happened a couple weeks ago. I resigned from my job to go to a different company. On my next to last day of the old job, I sent an email to my team, describing what a few of them did for me on my birthday in San Francisco last month, and the impact it had on me. In opening up and showing that vulnerability, an overwhelming and completely unexpected wave of appreciation came back to me from them. I was told how valuable I was. How I was going to be missed.
On the last day, a different group of people came by, but with a similar theme – I had made the difference in their success at the company. The way I helped. The way I cared. I was valuable to them.
I floated out of there feeling such massive gratitude. This bubble of joy separated me from that clown. At least far enough to stare back and see the lies. I have a hand around the clown’s throat for once, and the squeeze feels pretty good.

The common thread is that I was in an environment that freed me to accomplish the mission with the full measure of my abilities and personality. Instead of thinking my true self needed to be hidden, my true self allowed me to be of most service.

I also realized if I had been more open about my struggles to others, I would be much further down the path of being more impactful. I opened up a little to a few who had shown their vulnerability to me (hmm…interesting concept). Each time it helped, and I am grateful for those conversations. But I held back because I didn’t think you could handle the dark goo that swirls inside me. And the last thing I wanted to hear were platitudes like “It’ll get better.” Instead, I was met each time by, “Yeah, I have that goo, too.” Or, “Here’s what I do when that happens to me.”

But even with these regressions in physical fitness, I was still accelerating in leadership, even if I didn’t see it at the time. I just chose not to focus on the positive. Or, I’d listen to the clown explain the positive was the anomaly and the negative is who I really am. If you’re going through the same thing, I’d encourage you to flip that around as well. No good ever came from a clown.

Announcements

  • Prayers for High Hat on the passing of his MIL
  • Mad Dog is passing Site Q duties over to Run Flat. Oh, today was gonna be your coming out party, huh RF? Instead, you get initiated with the traditional Site Q face-kick welcome? #GoodNewsBadNews
  • Fuse Box did a great job of F3 Dads after this workout. Several Double Dippers from Commitment showed. Need Q’s to keep this thing going. Just like everything else in F3. See Gerber.
  • Union County F3 shirts are on sale now. Here is the link.
  • August 1Q challenge. There are 47 workouts in our region for the month of August. We have enough Pax to have everyone Q only once during the month. #DeadwoodHandcuffs The Site Q’s are coordinating to ensure no double-dipping. Your name is on a list; I’ve seen it. You can either choose a time and location or get chosen. There are still 34 openings, in case you were hoping someone else would fill the void for you. The Site Q’s will also help you get prepped (that’s their job).
  • 3rd F opportunity for you, 2.0’s & M’s – Saturday, August 3 0800 – 1100 at Waxhaw Elementary School. Officer Vic (#HIM, even if he isn’t in F3 yet) has gotten Lowe’s to donate all the mulch, flowers, etc. to spruce up the outside of WXES before school starts. Just need manual labor. My M works here, while my kids went to Kensington & New Town. The level of parental / community involvement among the schools is analogous to being on the wrong side of the tracks. Except it’s literal as well. They have a new principal who needs the community to rally. Use this link to sign up. If you have power washing experience, you are desperately needed. Carb Load said that Waxhaw Baseball uses WXES fields, and maybe they could help. Now he’s Q’ing to get them involved. How I love F3. First comment = first volunteer.


She’s a brick. (duh-duh-duuuuh-duh) HOUSE

14 brave young soldiers tested the elements of trench warfare and battled through the morning to complete another session of the RockZero. Here’s how it went down…

  1. Mosey west for COP. Gummy  
    1. Straight-leg toe touch kicks
    1. Peter Parkers (Gummy commented that this order of events was a bit random. YHC assured him that things would get much more random before the morning ended)
    1. Merkins  
    1. LSSs
    1. 10 burpees OYO
  2. Mosey to the NW field for the onset of trenchfoot. YHC warned that things were about to get sloppy, but could never anticipated the level of bellyachin’ that would ensue. McGee led the lobbyist group to pursue drier turf and implored to learn why YHC would select such a moist venue. (as if aggravating McGee isn’t reason enough for such an act). Plank for instructions… 4 Corners with 20 reps of each exercise and 5 burpees b/t each round
    1. Merkins
    1. Jump squat
    1. CDD
    1. WWII situps
  3. Mosey backward uphill to the hotbox and grab 2 bricks each. Repeat the following set 3X
    1. 1 min Wall sit with brick shoulder presses in cadence
    1. 10 American Hammers with the brick
    1. 10 low slow abyss merkins with hands on the bricks
    1. 10 reverse flies with bricks…. Then hold for 10ct
    1. Front raise (hold) for good measure
  4. Mosey to the rock pile and grab a respectable 20-rep rock, then line-up abreast in the lot and repeat the following 3x
    1. 10 low slow curls in cadence
    1. 20+ presses in cadence (YHC may have accidentally doubled the first round and failed prematurely. Oops. You’re welcome for the extra value to your morning)
    1. 10 tri extensions in cadence
    1. Lunge with rock to the median
    1. Mosey a lap for some active recovery
  5. Mosey to the goose field and plank up for instructions on the patented “a$$ wrecker” combo (repeated 3X. For those of you who’ve attended a Hawks Nest post under my Qship, you’re well familiar with this)
    1. 20 SMCs
    1. 20 Bonnie Blairs
    1. 20 Mtn Climbers
    1. Run to the wall and back (admittedly longer distance than it looks to the naked eye)
  6. Mosey back to start for some flutter, LBCs, and 10 burpees OYO. DONE.

Announcements: Prayers for Strange Brew, who’s suffering from meningitis.

Moleskine:

  • Geraldo, thanks for the online promotion leading up to the morning and advising people “not to touch my M”. Much appreciated
  • O’Tannenbaum, great to see you again this morning. Thanks for mentioning that the last time you posted, I was Q’ing. Either you’re stalking me, or you need to post more often. Looking fwd to the next.
  • Double E & Boxtruck, great to meet you both. Come back soon.
  • BLC, thanks for the suggestion about the Knolls. I’m always open to feedback, and as you can see, I rarely acknowledge or act upon it.
  • Baywatch, thanks for accompanying me on the scouting. I promise to add more Olympic style lifting and 4-minute rests next time (see note above about about feedback).
  • Witch Doctor, solid work today with nary a word of gripe, and thanks for letting us know about Strange Brew.
  • Boerewors, I’ll talk to the M about your business request, but as noted above, no touching.
  • Horsehead, thank you for demonstrating leadership by leveraging the disclaimer “modify as necessary” to the hilt. Someone told me you did a 4-6mile pre-run, so I suppose that gives you leverage.
  • Boondock, thank you for being the most mature of the entire pax
  • Hops, thanks for the solid send-off.

Like a Rolling Stone

Warm-up: Ran to courtyard with 1/2 circle of turf. Did 15 each of Side Straddle Hop, Imperial Walker, Low Slow Squat, and Mountain Climber. Ended warm-up with Lunge Walk around the turf. Thang: Ran to north parking lot. There ran with four stops, 1st stop 20 Merkins, 2nd 20 LBCs, 3rd 20 Carolina Dry Docks, 4th 20 Heels to Heaven. Repeated three times with reps of 15, then 10, and finished with 5 each, followed by Plank until all finished. Next ran to hot box. There did 10 Step Ups and 10 Dips on the benches, then ran around the center three parking lots doing 10 Burpees in 1st corner, 10 Wide Arm Merkins in 2nd corner, 10 Jump Squats in 3rd corner, and at the 4th corner, hot box, started a second round of the hot box and run exercises. Finished back a the hot box Squatting against the wall doing 60 Air Presses, 20 with both feet on the ground and 20 each with one leg raised. Next ran to the rock pile in the parking lot where we partnered with a lifting rock and rotated with one partner running to a parking lot island while the other partner lifted. Lifting sets included Curls, Presses, and Triceps. Ran back to the starting point and ended with 15 Mary’s each of Freddy Mercury, Dolly, Flutter, and American Hammer. At closing circle three FNG’s were introduced, all invited by Checkpoint I believe. Intern 1 and 2 had posted earlier in the week and Checkpoint promised a new and final F3 name with second post. Intern 2 became “Sunshine”, and Intern 1 became “Ti-81”. Third FNG was named “Maurice” after Maurice Barbecue. I missed one Pax due to poor hearing and/or age. Matt Milky, Milkyway? Sorry. Thanks to Lorax closing us out with a prayer. What’s “Like a Rolling Stone” title? Some history on July 24: Amelia Earhart was born in 1897, Machu Picchu was rediscovered by Hiram Bingham in 1911,Ted Williams was fined $250 in 1958 for spitting on a Boston fan, Bob Dylan released Like a Rolling Stone in 1965, and on that same day in 1965, my Mother released me like a rolling stone from her womb.

Houston we have a problem

A beautiful morning in the “Swarm/Nest/Playhouse/Watertower/WUC/Waxhaw” Region for the monthly AMRAP. 22 or so PAX made it to the start line and pretty sure the 22 or so made it through the course with varying amount of laps attempted/completed. I would be able to call out those 22 or so PAX; but I #Fused the recording of COT. Blame it on Old Man vs tech or just give me a pass ok….

The standard course. .47 mile each lap with stations (15 reps)

Tysons/Derkins/Step ups/Dips/Rock carry around circle/bear crawl+Bobby Hurley’s. Lap counter burpee

The veteran course runners+ 2.0’s led the way by closing in on 5 laps. A good cluster hitting 3+.

Lots of new faces hitting the course for the first time – Juiced comes to mind. He’s been to a few workouts and getting in the mix – he gave an effort today because he pulled from within AND a fellow Pax – Posse set the pace for him and encouraged him the entire way. I’m not sure we have an EFFIEE for this and maybe this is beyond EFFIE – but I’m thinking Posse should be nominated for a Lifetime Achievement Award F3 or LAAFie.

While Posse is often seen pacing withe a new FNG – it is really the site Q’s that need to be monitoring the back of the back and pulling the FNG’s along. I am as guilty as the other site q’s – Let’s make sure we add this to the DCCS.

Let’s make a pact as site q’s to give Posse a break – but also be the one pulling the fng’s through

Disclaimer, CPR, Cars, Safety AND any a reminder that a site Q will be working with pulling from the back of the Pax

Announcement:

Bible Study @ 5 Stones – see Lou.

3rd F opportunity at Waxhaw Elementary 8/3 morning. See Posse. This school has a lot of great kids – needs male leadership infusion

keep fellow pax injury free at Crane and Spartan