Monthly Archive June 2019

Plenty of Short Buses

16 men rolled into Kevlar this morning. Tough to find a parking spot with the lot full of Short Buses. I don’t know exactly who needs them but I do have some thoughts on who should. I will leave those to myself.

5:30ish PAX disclaimed and we proceeded to mosey.

Stand in large circle for SSH, IW, Lunges, Merkin Fest and Mountain Climbers.

Run to another portion of the endless parking deck and have partner run loops while other partner does setups. Do this for a while. Probably too long. Tiger Rag did show up in the middle here. Between the highlighter green shirt and the orange jeep he looks like the poster boy for Miami Vice. Maybe he should get some all wait shoes. Surely they sell those where Purple Haze buys his all black busboy shoes.

After that we ran to the paver cross. Partner 1 ran up stairs whole Partner 2 did jump squats. Repeat a couple of times. I surveyed the PAX during this workout. I am fairly certain the max vertical across the board was measured in microns.

So then we went around the church to the big hill parking lot. Run up it with median stops for Flutter, Merkins, Monkey Hummers and Burpees at the top. Jog all the way back and repeat for 3 times.

Over to the Tennis Pavilion. Do Split Leg Squats, Derkins and Dips until the air was sufficiently polluted by the gaseous remains of last nights take out Chinese food. Kung Pao’ed us right out of the pavilion.

Run down to the cemetery. Then a suggestion for AYG to the stop sign. Pop Tart and Boondocks obliged the Q with a solid effort. The rest of us – it was mostly a suggestion to run fast.

Rock pile – just pick it up for sets of biceps. Do these until Squid gets bit by a fire ant or maybe something else? Black widow? Scorpion? Barracuda? Who knows. He didn’t appear to need an epi-pen so hope he’s all right.

Run home to lot.


Some good work out there this morning. I don’t make it to Kevlar nearly as much as I used to since Cerberus opened and I don’t have to drive so darn far. Always a great AO with lots of options. The guys worked hard today (well most of them). Getting into the longest days of the year and felt like most of the workout was done in daylight for a change. I think you all are better looking when its dark and gloomy. Just my opinion.


Manziel has taken the Q to lead the tutoring at Billingsville Elementary school near Grier Heights. Look for opportunities to tutor and give back next school year. These kids don’t have a lot of steady adult influence and few male role models to look up to. Would be great to get lots of men out to serve. Sounds like it will be open to M’s, Non-F3 and older 2.0’s as well.

Covenant Day Campus is closed next week for a function. Skunkworks and Kevlar will both be on the move. Skunk at Aldi around the corner and Kevlar will converge with Joust aka F3 Ultimate.

Thanks to Cottontail for the takeout and to Fault Line and Orange Whip for the chance to Q.


were so TIREd

Mosey hot lap around the entire parking lot
Warm up 
25 SSH’s
25 Mtn Climbers
10 Potato  Pickers 
The Thang:
Introduce the Stations
(S1)-Timer:drag tire Length of 2 Parking Spots flip 5 times and hit w/ sledge hammer 5 times 
(S2)- Slam ball American hammers 
(S3)- kettle bell swings
(S4)- Bucket Sumo lift
(S5)- Cinder Block clean and press 
Each PAX did every station once

After that introduce the next set of stations   
(S6)-Timer: Lap around Island 
(S7)- Rope Swings
(S9)- Man Makers 
(S10)- Speed Skaters w/ weight 

We then did the first set of stations 1 more time 
Next we moseyed over to the fire pit 
50 Dips OYO
25 Derkins OYO
25 Step Ups OYO 
Next all 5 of us planked up and did the Plank Merkin Bear Crawl line till each Pax went twice 
We then Finished with a hot lap and each PAX naming off an exercise that we  each did 25 of 

Mole Skin
This definitely was not one of my  greatest Q’s as by the end I was barley sweating and did not feel the pain. I always strive to make my Q’s better than the ones before and hope to do that this Saturday as I am once again on Q at Commitment. But not to take away from Zinfandel who is on Q at Outland. Good Push from everyone YESTERDAY I know that tire sucked.

Fixing it For Christ this weekend See Jingles for Questions 
Deflated on Q at Impromptu tomorrow 
Hollywood on Q at Cerberus tomorrow
Thank You Schinder for taking us out

A Beautiful Morning

Tweetsie posting on behalf of Damn Gina:

It was a great morning in Matthews as 7 pax got together for a great stretch. Here is what we did:

  • Trapezius stretch while standing in mountain pose
  • Bend down into a forward fold.
  • Kick out into a plank
  • Walk it into a down dog
  • Slide through a plank into cobra
  • Push back up to down dog
  • Roll up slowly to mountain
  • Warrior I – left side
  • Warrior II – left side
  • Warrior I – left side
  • Warrior I – right side
  • Warrior II – right side
  • Warrior I – right side
  • Sit down
  • Easy twist – left
  • Easy twist – right
  • Corpse pose
  • Right knee to chest (Pavanamuktasana)
  • Knee down twist pose – left (Jathara Parivrtanasana)
  • Corpse pose
  • Left knee to chest (Pavanamuktasana)
  • Knee down twist pose – right (Jathara Parivrtanasana)
  • Corpse pose
  • Plank on elbows
  • Child’s Pose
  • Plank on elbows
  • Child’s Pose
  • Easy Twist – Left
  • Easy Twist – Right
  • Sit up


This beautiful morning was my second Q and I made an attempt at refining and extending our stretches. I was super nervous during my first Q and I felt I moved too fast so today I made sure we held each pose for half a minute and the pacing felt much better. Everyone enjoyed the music the first time so I brought back Dusk to Dawn by Emancipator. Thank you again to all the pax for allowing me to lead them.

Royal Flush

21 men came out for one last Moneyball Q at the Floater. It went something like this:

DiCCS given (loosely adhered to)

Mosey down and across 75 towards Bad Idea. Deadwood had one of his own while standing in the middle of the road playing traffic cop. Thankfully she missed him. Off we went.

20 SSH. Enough

Each light pole, 10 squats all the way to school basketball court. 10 merkins. Off to Bad Idea

Mosey to steep bit of Bad Idea for Dock Webb. 1 Dry Dock/4 Bear Crawls up to 40

Mosey back to beginning of steep part and all pax run backwards all the way to top of Bad Idea. Mosey back to basketball court.

1 Minute Plank then IC- 25 LBC/25 Hammer/Flutters/WW2

Mosey back towards base. 10 Speed Skaters at each light pole. Safely cross the street

Modified Suicide around the church- First corner 10 Merkins, run back to start, second corner, 10 merkins, back to start. Audible to 10 burpees for 10 minutes. Rainbow jumper too tight to permit burpees. If you can’t Q it, don’t do it! Audible to bottom of #kjh

Suicides to first, second, and then stop sign. Back to Circle for 25 seconds of SSH. Done.

Announcements: Deadwood replacing me as co-Site Q with Zinfandel. The 87th best site in all the land is in good hands. Keep it brutal, DW.

Moleskin: Being a site Q has been such a privilege, especially at a site like Floater. Not sure if you were aware, but did you know ol’ #87 is the ONLY AO that has never missed a backblast!? I’m confident Deadwood will help Zin keep both the momentum and streak alive.

To all of you- my sincerest thanks. It has been an honor and privilege leading and serving with you. Thank you for being such good friends to me. I’ll be around periodically and plan on posting as many times as possible. What we have here is special. Don’t take it for granted. We close on the sale of our home July 12th. Site Qs- if you have any openings between now and then, please let me know. I’d love the chance to Q a few more times before we leave. Have a great day all!

Green Monster – Part 2

8 men posted. We ran to big grassy area. Then ran around it with 5 Merkins, Sit-Ups, Merkins, Romanian Dead Lifts, Mountain Climbers & Burpees. Repeat-o while adding 5 more each loop. Run home.


Outside of GhostRunner, WAMRAP might be the easiest Q out there. Donut Run looks easy too, but Bushwood has to deal with all the nagging about which route people are running. It’s stressing him out and it shows in the new wrinkles on his face. Might need to start doing a Botox run. And by the way, since when do we need to know what the workout is ahead of time? The beauty is in the surprise. Sometimes the surprise is good – like when the cake inside is chocolate. Other times you get vanilla, and that sucks. Either way its a mystery until the last minute.

WAMRAP is simple. Come up with like 4-6 exercises. Run some. Repeat.

Besides that, O’Tannenbaum was there too way early today. Mainly because he is the worst sales guy in the history of sales guy. Most sales guys take clients out late night. They expense high end bourbon, big steaks and strippers. Not OT. He tucks them in at 9pm, swipes their pillow mint, and invites them to WAMRAP in the morning. One of those was already an F3 man from Lake Murray (Fire Daddy). The other, Lou, now “Swamp Thing,” is from NJ – which is primarily an over taxed swamp. But hey, if the President can bankrupt a half a dozen casino’s in that state, then there’s no excuse for you not to run for President. You could run on the democratic ticket this year. Everyone else is. Odd’s are you could edge out that two-term At-Large School Board member from Ypsilanti, MI to come in second-to-last place at the Primary’s.

Udder continues to come to WAMRAP. I think he only does it to visit his brother at Camp Gladiator. Nemo posted. He’s more power lifter than runner now. He’s all bulked up and dropped his vocabulary to just grunts and 5 or 6 single syllable words.

Flipper jumped in front of Squid to give a solid take out. Squid looked unconvinced. Strong chance the Seaman is going to see if the Porpoise can really swim when he takes him out on a boat and dumps him overboard like the “burial at sea” Bin Laden got.

I’d offer thanks to whoever asked me to Q this week, but I am not sure anyone really is in charge here. No worries. Still the hardest workout of the week even if it is loosely run by a committee of misfit toys.


Webs and Ladders, and more Webs and Ladders

28 Pax joined me at Dromedary for a web/ladder workout. 65 degrees and breezy, it was a perfect morning for a beatdown. Last time I Qed this site my opening mosey was a mile long and it killed hurt a few people. I promised Goodfella I would keep it “chill” today and keep the mileage low. We hit 1.75 according to Zinfandel…I have failed to stop my watch all week! Let’s go!

That Thang


  • Short mosey around outer parking lot and circle up.
  • 10 SSH
  • Merkins IC – Regular, Wide, Diamond, Regular
  • 10 IC 6” Plank Jacks
  • 10 Low Slow Squats
  • Leg Stretch



  • 1 Sit Up / 4 American Hammers / 2 Merkins



  • 10 kick/10 sec hold – 1 Merkin2,3,4… This was a crowd favorite!

Mosey to back to PL


  • 1  squat/ 4 Jump Lunges/ 1 Burpee
  • ** @ 6/24 Squats/ Monkey – 7/28 etc – Not sure which Pax tried to skip a number but this triggered me to start the count over…no Q jacking today!

Mosey back to parking lot near COT


  • Burpee/extra Merkin each round – AUDIBLE – Things were going good until we came to a few Pax that had a solid conversation going while standing there watching us do burpees. I could care less if Pax talk, modify or walk…be a slacker you do you…but at least pay attention. The 2nd F is where you need to be. This audible caused YHC to get little fired up.  I split the group in half, we ran the opposite direction and did 5 burpees OYO and 10 when we ran back. Let’s try this again, shall we?


  • One Pax calls out an exercise and runs while the Pax do it.  I started and called out burpees, I was still a little pissed fired up..have some more burpees guys, you’re welcome.  Zinfandel thought he would be cute and make the circle smaller thus doing fewer burpees…AUDIBLE – 2 laps instead of one – Sorry Not Sorry Zin, I wanted everyone to suffer work hard. The opening Cpt. Therkin wasn’t enough for some Pax, I think we did 2-3 marry exercises in a row, I’m good with that!! Time was running out and I wanted to get he heart rates back up and the circle of pain doesn’t really do that.


Start at curb down and back – 6 runs total

15 sec break Rinse/Repeat



Welcome High Hat and Hey Wang. I’ve known High Hat for a few years, great guy and an excellent drummer. I hope to see both of you again soon!

Even though I mentioned a few Pax “doing their own thing” for one exercise, they still worked super hard, everyone did! I love seeing the 2.0’s post as well. It’s really funny when the 2.0’s outwork Pax that post constantly. Well done Flash, Hawk-Eye, and Blue Steel!!

Everyone knows that when I’m trying to kill it at a workout that I’m not going to do a ton of talking unless it’s during a mosey. If Pax want to talk to each other or slack, Feel Free. Personally, I don’t get up at 4:45 to half-ass slack during posts. But like Goodfella said, guys, post for different reasons and I’m good with that…Just know I’m here to work! I love you yall and wouldn’t be where I am without you, but I will call you out. 😉 You need anything just ask, I have all your backs!! Thanks to everyone that kept me straight on my counting…


3 on 3 Basketball Tournament at Bottle Caps crib – $5 entry per person 4:00 on Saturday – Reach out to Bottle Cap for questions/details

An additional AO is possibly forming in the Marvin area. No location or day of the week has been picked at this time. Goodfella is coordinating.

YHC is on Q at The Floater, mileage is the goal.

The Taxidermy Vending Machine

11, including a FNG who was somehow smookered into a pre-workout run with Dollywood, gathered for an event that everyone has had on their calendars for quite a long time.

The ArboWIB.


Run from the worst AO in South Charlotte #Gummy to somewhere even worse, do a quick almost-planned workout, and run back. The workout consisted of 2 miles of weaving around like a snake doing escalating exercises while Smokey looked for his hat. It was fantastic.


This has been in the works for like, forever. Well, at least since yesterday. The workout component was mostly planned at 5:15Am while driving by the Arboretum. Anyway, I think it was a success. I got around 4 miles and a good sweat going, especially on the mile run back.

Before we started, Header and TR were discussing all things Jeep. TR installed some weaponized paint scrapers on the side of the Great Pumpkin, as well as an oil slick and smoke screen emitter #spyhunter. He was last seen driving up a ramp into the back of a moving van. Factually, I believe that the paint scrapers are some sort of aftermarket footpeg device that you are supposed to use to stick your leg out of the side of the moving vehicle so that giant bugs can fly up your underwear leg before it is amputated by another vehicle. Either option sounds a bit dangerous for my tastes.

Double E rolled in with his new Fire Engine giant truck with the mini-bed completely filled with ancient computer parts. He was in search of a giant pile of America Online CDs that he had buried at the Middle School back in 1999 and a paid license for Netscape Navigator.

The covert-ops construction going on at Petco forced a slight audible on the laps. It looked like they were installing some new Taxidermy Vending Machines near the entrance. In goes Fluffy, out comes Stuffy.

Smokey’s general practice of wearing a filthy cap for COP and then dropping it on the ground during the workout didn’t pay off this time (like it ever pays off). A dutiful ArboJanitor scooped it up and it was headed for either the dumpster or his collection before our quick-thinking brother bribed it back off of him with a lukewarm bottle of Night Train that he found in his glove box the bushes.

Welcome FNG “Ghost Town” who left as mysteriously as he arrived. For those unaware, Ghost Town In The Sky is somewhat of a counterpart to Dollywood as far as terrible theme parks go. However, it has been closed down since the early 2000s. Good memories.

I attempted to make a couple of Strava segments. Somehow, stinking JRR Tolkien automatically got 1st place on both of them even though he was not there. For some reason, I am not surprised. Gummy takes 2nd place of those who used Strava.

Thanks everyone for participating in this experiment.


Death Valley Preblast – The ARBOWIB

Tomorrow, we unleash something that has never been done before. Well, except that it has, and it failed miserably #SOFAWIB, and I never once posted there.

Howevs . . . given that working out at the Arboreteum ABC store draws forth such fond memories of #Jevlar days bygone and knowing that introducing another AMRAP workout on a Wednesday makes no sense whatsoever, I present without delay:

The ArboWIB (seriously, somebody come up with a better name)

  • 5:30AM Launch from SCMS – 1 mile to the Arbo ABC store
  • AMRAP loop consisting of things I will tell you to do tomorrow.
  • 6:05 AM, run 1 mile back

Why hasn’t nobody thunk of this before?


Like a (Fast Twitch) Virgin

“Running! If there’s any activity happier, more exhilarating, more nourishing to the imagination, I can’t think of what it might be. In running the mind flees with the body, the mysterious efflorescence of language seems to pulse in the brain, in rhythm with our feet and the swinging of our arms.”
Joyce Carol Oates

Whatever, Joyce. I want some of the drugs she was on when she wrote that. We all know running blows and it’s all about counting the minutes or the miles until you can stop doing it. But since we’re all a bunch of crazy idiots that get up way too early to do hard stuff, 11 of us knuckleheads met up at Charlotte Latin (not South Charlotte Middle School) for my running workout VQ. No site Qs or shovel flags in attendance (sorry, Hops!).

After waiting for Alf to style his hair (gotta get it juuuuust right) and one of my better disclaimers, we departed the lot at about 5:16. Much to Gummy’s chagrin, we were late. We moseyed out onto Providence (without anyone getting hit by the swimmers pulling in aggressively) and down to Raintree Lane. Run into Raintree and circle up at the intersection with Four Mile Creek. I gave the pax their instructions a couple of times (Mr. Brady was very rudely talking over the Q) and off we went. Well, Rosie did his own thing, but that’s okay because he’s fast and young and we’d rather he ran off into the distance so we don’t have to be confronted with the fact that he’s faster and younger than the rest of us.

The Thang:

Split into groups of 3 (YHC was odd man out) and each partner runs in a different direction:

  • P1 heads up Raintree Lane to the last entrance to the Raintree Country Club parking lot and back.
  • P2 heads down Four Mile Creek to the blinky light at Whitethorn Drive and back.
  • P3 heads back up Raintree Lane to Providence Road and back.

When you get back to the intersection, repeatedly perform 10 jump squats and 20 LBCs until your whole team is back, then each pax member does 5 burpees and switch legs. Repeato until about 6:05. Everyone should have gotten in 4x 1 mile out and back runs.

Mosey back to the start. Much to Gummy’s chagrin (I imagine), we were early. #symmetry Pax option to either join the Hawk’s Nest pax for Mary, do some more running in the parking lot, or stretch it out.

COT with Hawk’s Nest. Thanks to Pop Tart for the takeout.


  • Thanks to Purell and Rachel for the opportunity to Q. They took a chance on a Meathead and I think it went reasonably well. Feel free to sound off in the comments below if you disagree. I’m sure a refund will be forthcoming from the site Qs.
  • Thanks to the pax for following me around this morning. It sounds like Gummy did something similar recently, so I apologize if this was repetitive. I thought the 1 mile interval repeats would keep us moving and get everyone the miles they’re looking for on a Tuesday morning. It was great to be out there with the FT crew on a surprisingly cool morning. No sign of Hairball or Bushwood, despite the minimal number of exercises and the mention in the pre-tweet. #rude
  • I don’t know about the rest of the pax, but I thought that was hard. There are a ton of hills on each leg of the stool, especially Whitethorn. T-claps to Mr. Brady and Ductwork for doing that leg twice!
  • Alf was disappointed that we didn’t do any stunting, but Turkey Leg wasn’t there and Mr. Brady was too slick to throw, so we didn’t really have any suitable fliers available. Maybe next time…
  • I’ve got to be honest, I kind of mailed it in when I got back to the lot and we ran into the HN pax. I jumped in with their Mary, expecting the rest of the FT pax to follow suit, but they must not have seen me in my day-glo green shirt because none of them did. Instead, some people ran some more and some people just stood there. #youvsyou
  • I also let Pop Tart handle the name-o-rama, counting, etc. He was doing a good job and I was talking to Gummy, so I didn’t want to interrupt.
  • I think that’s everything that happened this morning, but please feel free to sound off with anything I missed.



Zinfandel & Banjo’s Drunken Musical!!!

At about 10:01AM yesterday Dancing Bear shares that Damascus is out as Q due to bad case of vaginitis (I’m afraid to google it). Banjo and I share a special bond as two bros that drink big ol’ stanky IPAs at the pool while our kids endlessly go down the waterslide. It’s allowed us to bond in ways most men will never experience, pinky’s out.

Posting with this damn vest I didn’t want to take on a whole Q on short notice but Banjo was willing to split and who am I not to partner up. Then a few hours later he told me he was eating 1.5 ribeyes and had opened a magnum of red wine. Will I be alone? Will his knee fill up with fluid? Will the gout flare up? Only time will tell….

Roll up at 5:17AM with already like 8 bros in the lot. Holy sheet how many guys are going to be here this morning? Swimmers’ 2.0 and now Bottle Cap’s 2.0….. oh man, Rudy’s 2.0…..wait, where you guys going…. and Rudy’s leaving.

60 seconds to start. DiCCS covered and an FNG is here. Let’s go!!!


Mosey around the lot, circle up:

1. 20 x SSHs IC

2. 20 x Imperial Walkers IC

3. 20 x 6” Plank Jacks IC

4. 20 x Squats CC

5. 20 x Merkins CC

6. Calf Stretch

7. 10 x Morroccan Night Club IC

Mosey to entrance for 4 corners, go around one time, I will call recover based on time.

1. 30 x Lunges

2. 30 x Monkey Humpers

3. 30 x Speed Skaters

4. 30 x Bobby Hurley’s

Mosey to front of elementary school, line up across for Bear Crawl, Dry Dock Webb. Call it after 8 rounds complete….

Banjo’s showtime….Mosey to playground for “Cindy”. 5 rounds with a run to the 2nd light in between each round. Rounds=5 pull-ups, 10 Merkins 15 squats.

Mosey back to parking lot. Gazelle partner with Clydesdale run do 5 x burpees at each end 5 x hand slap Merkins in middle. 5 rounds total

Partner up in 3s. 2 partners plank while other partner completes suicide type run.

Line up. Burpee Indian run. Then on your 6 for pistol LBCs until time is up. Complete.

Start with a thigh burner, loosen the shoulders and then get shredded….repeat!


I forgot how thick the air gets in the summer, like breathing through a freaking straw. Everyone keeps pushing through and it’s great to see so many guys getting further ahead in the ranks. That weight will fall off even faster in these summer months with the increased temp alone!

Thanks Banjo for splitting the Q! You don’t look like someone that would have any athletic ability at all honestly at first glance but after posting together for the last 11 months, you always push passed any comfort levels. This morning was no different, great mix of pain stations!

I hope to hear more about Rudy’s son and hope it wasn’t the pâté at dinner that set his body on fire the moment he touched asphalt this morning. I know I tried to sell you on the bidet upgrade to your throne while at Dreamchasers Friday night. I don’t post without a 10-25 minute bidet session, not kidding. The best $40 of your life and takes 5 minutes to install. Don’t believe me, can this many positive reviews be wrong??!??

Overall I don’t remember much else from the workout. The last thing I had to count was my Bear Crawl Dry Docks and thank you to BC and GF for counting rounds 7 & 8. I was spent! That “Cindy” at the playground is a welcome and dreaded exercise with the local jungle gym. Overall everyone got over 2mi + it wasn’t a complete debacle of people during each exercise = success!

I actually do remember now wanting to punch Banjo in the face after he called out burpee Indian runs. I heard quite a few people squeal as well but then I was like “bro you don’t even have a vest on!!” Not really but I thought I would go ahead and share the link to the 20lb man maker. Dana just got one and wore it Monday. Tupperware got one for his birthday, wore it once and maybe threw it away. Jingles and Transporter just asked for the link because they are sick and twisted people. Join the most exclusive club no one wants to be the only member, we call ourselves The Vesticals (name TBD)

Thanks to the 28 men that posted this AM! Leading these workouts is a true honor and we need some new faces to grab the bull by the horns! Step up, ask questions – you won’t regret it.

Welcome Blue Screen’s son, an FNG now named Motorboat and thank you for your service in the Navy!

Thank you to Goodfella for taking us out!


Speed for Need, maybe July 22, need 12 PAX to push chariots, great cause, Jeremy (Madison) will post details.

Fixing it for Christ July 19-22, goal to fix up 40 homes, food provided, details will be posted. Lou (Bottlecap) has details.