Like a (Fast Twitch) Virgin

Like a (Fast Twitch) Virgin

“Running! If there’s any activity happier, more exhilarating, more nourishing to the imagination, I can’t think of what it might be. In running the mind flees with the body, the mysterious efflorescence of language seems to pulse in the brain, in rhythm with our feet and the swinging of our arms.”
Joyce Carol Oates

Whatever, Joyce. I want some of the drugs she was on when she wrote that. We all know running blows and it’s all about counting the minutes or the miles until you can stop doing it. But since we’re all a bunch of crazy idiots that get up way too early to do hard stuff, 11 of us knuckleheads met up at Charlotte Latin (not South Charlotte Middle School) for my running workout VQ. No site Qs or shovel flags in attendance (sorry, Hops!).

After waiting for Alf to style his hair (gotta get it juuuuust right) and one of my better disclaimers, we departed the lot at about 5:16. Much to Gummy’s chagrin, we were late. We moseyed out onto Providence (without anyone getting hit by the swimmers pulling in aggressively) and down to Raintree Lane. Run into Raintree and circle up at the intersection with Four Mile Creek. I gave the pax their instructions a couple of times (Mr. Brady was very rudely talking over the Q) and off we went. Well, Rosie did his own thing, but that’s okay because he’s fast and young and we’d rather he ran off into the distance so we don’t have to be confronted with the fact that he’s faster and younger than the rest of us.

The Thang:

Split into groups of 3 (YHC was odd man out) and each partner runs in a different direction:

  • P1 heads up Raintree Lane to the last entrance to the Raintree Country Club parking lot and back.
  • P2 heads down Four Mile Creek to the blinky light at Whitethorn Drive and back.
  • P3 heads back up Raintree Lane to Providence Road and back.

When you get back to the intersection, repeatedly perform 10 jump squats and 20 LBCs until your whole team is back, then each pax member does 5 burpees and switch legs. Repeato until about 6:05. Everyone should have gotten in 4x 1 mile out and back runs.

Mosey back to the start. Much to Gummy’s chagrin (I imagine), we were early. #symmetry Pax option to either join the Hawk’s Nest pax for Mary, do some more running in the parking lot, or stretch it out.

COT with Hawk’s Nest. Thanks to Pop Tart for the takeout.


  • Thanks to Purell and Rachel for the opportunity to Q. They took a chance on a Meathead and I think it went reasonably well. Feel free to sound off in the comments below if you disagree. I’m sure a refund will be forthcoming from the site Qs.
  • Thanks to the pax for following me around this morning. It sounds like Gummy did something similar recently, so I apologize if this was repetitive. I thought the 1 mile interval repeats would keep us moving and get everyone the miles they’re looking for on a Tuesday morning. It was great to be out there with the FT crew on a surprisingly cool morning. No sign of Hairball or Bushwood, despite the minimal number of exercises and the mention in the pre-tweet. #rude
  • I don’t know about the rest of the pax, but I thought that was hard. There are a ton of hills on each leg of the stool, especially Whitethorn. T-claps to Mr. Brady and Ductwork for doing that leg twice!
  • Alf was disappointed that we didn’t do any stunting, but Turkey Leg wasn’t there and Mr. Brady was too slick to throw, so we didn’t really have any suitable fliers available. Maybe next time…
  • I’ve got to be honest, I kind of mailed it in when I got back to the lot and we ran into the HN pax. I jumped in with their Mary, expecting the rest of the FT pax to follow suit, but they must not have seen me in my day-glo green shirt because none of them did. Instead, some people ran some more and some people just stood there. #youvsyou
  • I also let Pop Tart handle the name-o-rama, counting, etc. He was doing a good job and I was talking to Gummy, so I didn’t want to interrupt.
  • I think that’s everything that happened this morning, but please feel free to sound off with anything I missed.



About the author

Voodoo author

Area 51/SOB, Meathead co-site Q

4 Comments so far

GummyPosted on6:44 pm - Jun 11, 2019

Yeah I’ve been running for 15 years and have yet to experience the runner’s high. Sure, there are times on crisp Fall day when I think, “This is nice!”, but that lasts for about 17 seconds at the very beginning of the run. My favorite time of the week is 6:15 am on Tuesdays since that’s as far I can get from the next Fast Twitch. But like you said, we keep coming coming back. Well, the rest of us do, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at Fast Twitch before.

Other thoughts:
– I was not chagrined that we started a minute late. I do enjoy how at 5:14 every week it’s Purple Haze and one or two other guys at the launch, then somehow at 5:15 there are 10-15 of us.
– I thought I was the odd man out. Fault Line said he was my partner, then I saw him talking to another group as we took off. It’s ok, I had no intentions of doing the exercise parts anyway.
– When we got back early, I went with option d, stand there and sweat.
– My Q of something similar to that was probably over six months ago, so no harm.
– I don’t like to see the word “stool” in a Fast Twitch backblast. It’s been awhile, but a Code Brown is always a risk that early.

    VoodooPosted on9:05 pm - Jun 11, 2019

    I really enjoy your mini-backblast in a Comment, Gummy. I appreciate the wit and brevity. For the record, I’ve been to Fast Twitch at least four times in recent months: 1) when Astro ran us up to Ballantyne Commons and into Raintree, where we ran on Whitethorn forever, 2) when Alf took us up to Ballantyne Commons and we ran in some random neighborhood toward a palm tree, 3) your #FakeFastTwitch Q (does this count?), and 4) for Benny’s “run up Providence Road as far as you can in 30 minutes” Q 2 weeks ago (zero points for creativity, but brutally effective).

High TidePosted on6:58 pm - Jun 12, 2019

Who is this Joyce Carol Oates?!
A runner? You’re quoting runners now?!
I don’t even know you anymore.
Next thing I know you’ll be asking for KG to LB conversions…

    VoodooPosted on7:39 pm - Jun 12, 2019

    I’m not sure who JCO (a/k/a “Haulin’ Oates”) is, but apparently she’s enough of a runner to have a quote pop up when you search “running quotes” on the Google machine. I’ve still got the KG to LB conversion down, but can you give me a hand with Fahrenheit to Celsius?

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