Monthly Archive May 2019

Southside Bloody Knee Back Pull Spooktacular

DiCCS (Disclaimer, Cell phone, CPR, Safety)

Decent size group this morning, lucky number 13 strong.  

Mosey to Dreamchasers to circle up.  


  • SSH x 20 IC
  • Merkins x 10 IC
  • Imperial Walkers x 15 IC
  • Mountain Climbers x 20 IC
  • Calf Stretch x 10 seconds, flapjack

The Thang:

Mosey across bridge to South Main St. BBQ (in my opinion best ice cream in Waxhaw, sorry Creamery, and second in Charlotte only to Two Scoops). Edit: Honorable mention also includes: Dollar Cone (although it’s like $1.50 now but the value w/ two toppings can’t be beat).

Run down S. Providence to South Providence School.

  • Merkins x 15 at each of the five intersections (65 total)

Cemetery Hill Run x 3

  • Mike Tysons x 5 at school wall
  • Squats x 10 at other end of Bad Idea Hill

Mosey to start of Southside Cemetery (“big dipper loop”). 

  • Run to first path, 10 Heels to Heaven
  • Run to second path, 20 LBCs
  • Run to third path, 30 American Hammers (single count)
  • Loop back to start and repeat two more time

Mosey to Southside Cemetery “horseshoe loop”. 

  • 5 Burpees
  • Run Loop
  • 5 Burpees

Mosey back to start of Bad Idea hill, 10 squats, run to school, 10 Mike Tysons at top on the school wall

Run back to the best ice cream in Waxhaw.

Cross the bridge as group, mosey back to AO.

30 seconds left, 5 more burpees



I wanted to check out the Southside Cemetery this morning on my prerun to make sure the paths were in good condition.  I forgot about the speed bump on Arbor Dr. and had the pleasure of taking out both kneecaps before the workout even started.  Everyone worked hard this morning.  Bottlecap was looking strong and then started to show his age when he pulled his back while only running downhill.  Hopefully it’s just a pulled muscle and you will be back out soon.  Thanks Posse for escorting him back to the AO.  Everyone else pushed hard this morning, good to see Kid Rock out at more WUC posts.  I think the Southside Cemetery offers some good opportunities for future workouts that are car free.  Welcome FNG Hummingbird!  Thank you for the opportunity to lead on cool morning.


Bottlecap is OUT for Clinet Dinner tonight and needs a substi-Q. 

I’m sure Dancing Bear and his daughter are still collecting travel size shampoo and soap for shelters, keep em coming.

California Dreaming?

4 PAX ignored the #Fartsack and posted at #DeathValley for their #DRP. 


We took a lap around the parking lot to gather the six 

  • SSH x 20
  • Merkins x 15 
  • Squats x 20
  • IW x 20
  • Windmill x 20


We moseyed down Strawberry stopping at each speed bump for 10 merkins.

Turn right on Rosecliff for 7s, Merkins at then bottom and squats at the top.

We headed back to SCMS stopping at each speed bump for 10 LBCs. 

Rock Work

Head over to the rock pile and perform called exercise then take a lap around the parking lot.

  • Overhead presses
  • Curls
  • Squats 
  • Triceps extensions
  • Burpee Thrusters 

Circuit Work

We headed to the benches by the baseball fields for 2 rounds of the following: 

  • Decline Merkins x 10
  • Dips x 15
  • Step ups x 20 (10 each leg)

Still some time left for 2 more laps around the parking lot to get us to 3 miles.


  • Flutter kicks x 15
  • Rosalita x 15
  • Hello Dollies x 15


  • YHC arrived with 5 minutes to spare to find Smokey and Uncle Leo waiting in their cars in the parking lot. Then Pudding Pop came in hot, he’s a steady regular.
  • Smokey sported the long sleeves this morning in response to the chill in the air this morning. Don’t worry, it’ll be summer in a few days.
  • Dollywood couldn’t make it after his late night soccer draft. The Knicks still got jobbed at the NBA lottery last night.
  • Welcome back Smokey from then West Coast attending his nieces graduation from USC. 
  • Pudding Pop dropped some knowledge about south central LA, who knew USC was in the hood? 
  • Good to see Uncle Leo, have seen him in some time. 
  • We learned Pudding Pop would move to Santa Barbara if he won the lottery. That would make must see reality TV.
  • Pudding Pop is not a fan of the hill Rising Meadow in Raintree, good thing we went to Rosecliff
  • Thanks to Smokey and Dollywood for the opportunity to lead and please sound off with any mumblechatter


  • Beer Mile at an undisclosed school track near RT 51, check the #beer channel on Slack
  • CLT Craft Course 5/18 check the #beerrun channel on Slack

Double Coupon Thursday

22 Pax showed up on this humid May morning
The Thang:After a warmup up lap around OPES, i dropped the tailgate on Big Red to reveal 6 coupons (oak and maple logs).  Broke down in groups of 4 and 5 pax and ran down Rea carrying the coupon, handing off to other PAX as necessary, until we reached the canon.  Dropped the coupons at the top of the hill.-50 LBC-Top of hill, 5 each side reverse lunge, run down the hill to canon, 5 jump squats, rinse and repeat 4 times

Pick up coupons (Semi gloss was upset someone dropped his coupon in the wet grass) and started running down the hill, hang a left at the stop sign and up Castle Gate to to next stop sign and dropped coupons.
50 mtn climbers
Picked up coupons. Left on Knightswood, right on Foxworth, stopped at the end of Foxworth where we weren’t likely to get run over by a car.  Dropped coupons.
-Mini Merkin Death Spiral: 10 merkins, rest, 20 merkins, rest, 30 merkins, rest, 20 merkins, rest, 10 merkins.

Pick up Coupons and head up Windyrush, right on Rea back to OPES.  Deposited coupons back in Big Red.  Walked over to the school entrance.
-Peoples Chair (alternating air presses and derkins)
Announcements:June 7th, Beer mile, details to come
June 8th Paintball, details to come
Nice job on the take out Sprockets!
Observations:-No one carries a coupon on their shoulder like Puddin’ Pup.  Nice Work!-Gummy is not afraid to volunteer a time check..Guess he was in a hurry-like the new site Qs, bigly job so far (keep it up, you’ve got biglier shoes to fill [shout out to Queen and Marge] ).  

Announcements:June 7th, Beer mile, details to come
June 8th Paintball, details to come

Chuck-et the Bucket Vs Richard Simmons

If the thought of a guest Q with Richard Simmons wasn’t enough to get Union Co. PAX out to Shiloh Elementary, I just don’t know what will. But it was enticement enough for Glass Joe and Shepherd. Unfortunately Mr. Simmons pulled a BW and was nowhere to be found. Maybe he was off hanging with his cousin Gene.


After a mosey around the parking lot we triangle’d up for:


IW INx20

Windmills AV style ICx10

HillBillies ICx20

Little Baby Arm Circles 10F/10B

Big Arm Circles 10F/10B

Finalize that with some hamstring & back stretches.

The Thing:

Starting at our vehicles, two PAX run ahead 1 or 2 light poles (depending on distance between them), stop and do the called exercise while #3 carries a covered 5 gallon bucket, full of water to them. When #3 arrives, next guy takes the bucket while the other two run ahead a couple light poles and do the called exercise. Every two cycles of bucket carrying we changed the exercise, and they were – Burpees – Heels To Heaven – Merkins. This got us up and around the parking lot of SV Elementery and back, past our vehicles to the wall of the school near the classroom trailer. Somewhere on the way back from SV Elem, we did 10 train burpees upon hearing the train blasting it’s way through Indian Trail/Monroe.

Grabbed us some wall and Peoples Chair with arms forward for 60 seconds, recover. Then did a few merkins or something??? Hit the wall again, Peoples Chair with 100 air press Civilian Count, then arms forward till the next car drove by (30-40 seconds), recover. Then a few more somethings??? Back on the wall, Peoples Chair 50 SLOW air press, Civilian Count, arms forward till next car drove by and recover. One last bucket carry back to the parking area and some jump squats.


Dying Cockroach ICx20

Dollies ICx20

Backscratchers with legs elevated ICx20 (at this point I had some dust or something start irritating my throat and proceeded to start trying to hack something up which almost resulted in gag reflex taking it’s toll, ALMOST!)

Finished up with American Hammer ICx19.


What a great morning, 48 degrees, perfect weather to get out and push yourself without thinking about overheating, but still leave some sweat angels. Happy to see GJ and Shep out there, even though Richard Simmons was a no show. GJ seems to have recovered from his mystery illness on Tuesday and I think Shepherd was getting sick of carrying the bucket o’ suck, err, I mean water. It did make a great seat when you got to a light post, eh Shep?

Shirts and Skins

Mosey to parking lot


IW Cad 15

Merkins Cad 15

MC Cad 15

Circuit training.

Start at shelter 15 dips 20 derkins 25 step ups

Run to circle at the front 15 Merkins 20 cdd 25 squats

Run to the back entrance 15 heels to heaven 20 lbc 25 Freddy mercury Run long loop back to shelter 3 times total 

Mosey to rock pile Partner up Rock work. 1 partner does called exercise while other partner runs to light post Round 1 Curls – 100 Round 2 Tricep extension -100 Round 3 Overhead press. 200

Run back to the launch. – Mary and Merkins

Mole of skin

Was a little nervous about the shoulder injury from Hawksnest the day before.  Texted Haze yesterday and told him that I might have to pull him in.  Went to Physical Therapy and got it healed up for my q.  Got the AO at 5 to stretch like the old man that I am.  Workout was plain but there was a little grumbling from the pax on the run.  Since the back was questionable I know I could do that.  Champagne informed me that he almost debated not coming today because he knew I was going to run.  Sorry about that. Got a text from Kirk that he was coming in hot and he didn’t disappoint with his work socks on as well.  The back talk was the usual with everyone giving it back to YHC the whole workout.  Spackler was unusually quiet this morning, a gentleman really. Haze wore the same shirt as me and apparently the same size as well.  Lorax continues to be out front and hard to keep up with .  Snuka was up there as well.  Pretty sure Jet Fuel, Spackler and myself stopped some of the workout early.  The 200 overhead presses were a little excessive I must admit.  Welcome Chaos from Quantico VA, enjoyed hearing your story and catching up at Coffee.  come back anytime brother.


Calvary Church is celebrating 80 years this Sunday at their 9:30 service.  Champagne, I think I got that right.  Sound off if not. 

I like Big BRICKS and I cannot lie!!

After being strong armed by Banjo into taking a Q at Chiseled I was glad 13 great men showed up at the workout this morning. I must say the Chicken had butterflies as it was his first Q at Chiseled!! But as any good Q does for his first time, he shameless steals ideas from other Q’s . So without anyone knowing he flew into and perched up at Wedding Singers Q last week at chiseled and stolen many ideas– hahah — cannot trust those darn Chickens !!

The Warm Up

Grab your TWO BRICKS that will be with you all morning

15 low slow squats with bricks in hand

15 merkins while planking on bricks

20 Mountain Climbers

Lap around Mount Chiseled with Bricks in hand

The Thang

Partner up for some gear work !!

5 Stations set up and each station has 3 exercises ( 1min and 15 secs each exercise and rest 15 secs)– we all did 7 stations

Station 1- P 1Sledge Hammer on Big tire/ P2 lunge walk with Bricks/ together 10 hand slap merkins with bricks and 10 squats with bricks.

Station 2- P1 Squat jabs with bricks/ P2 Merkins on bricks as many as possible/ together 10 hand slap merkins with bricks and 10 squats with bricks.

Station 3- P1 curls with dumbbells /P2 Run 40 yards (ish) with bricks and do a burpee and repeat/ together 10 hand slap merkins with bricks and 10 squats with bricks.

Station 4- P1 tricep curls with cinder block/P 2 run 40 yards (ish) with bricks and do a burpee and repeat/together 10 hand slap merkins with bricks and 10 squats with bricks.

Station 5- P1 sandbag burpees/ P2 run 40 yards (ish) with bricks and do a burpee and repeat/ together 10 hand slap merkins with bricks and 10 squats with bricks.

After the station work we had 4 minutes left– Time for the Merkin Bear Crawl Ladder with BRICKS!! YEEHAWW

The PAX breaks into groups of 3-4 members and line up in a plank line front to back while planking on their bricks. The Pax Member in the back bear crawls on his bricks to the front of the line and the whole PAX in the group does a merkin together– Continue this until all PAX complete three Brick Bear Crawls ( ugh)..


As always in was a great pleasure leading a group of men like this and I appreciate Banjo asking me to step up. The PAX worked hard today as usual and everyone pushed themselves.

Just a little side note I almost got us kicked out of chiseled today– While getting out of the chicken truck to load the gear I notice my truck was still moving. So apparently I was so excited to get gear loaded up I forgot to put truck in park.. I had to run and jump back in the truck and slam on the brake ( came about 5-6 ft ) from running head-on into the transformer.. That would have been a great story but most like would have got us kicked out.. whewww. Now that would have been ironic though, getting kicked out of a site for blowing up a transformer and one of the site Qs is Fusebox?? hummm


3rd F opportunity Five stones 7am Sunday- (Philippian’s 1) does not matter where you are in your faith walk– come out..

Watch Tower is moving to New Town starting June 4th.

Gerber has Q tomorrow at Floater and it is birthday tomorrow. Good Luck!!

What time is it anyway??

I don’t expect pity from anyone from a bit of jet lag but yesterday was 20 hours of travel to get back home. It was brutal but it was good to be home! It wasn’t good to get a text from Deadwood reminding me I had the Q tomorrow…. BUCKLE UP!

We got the kids to sleep at 7:30pm last night, which was my newly adjusted time 1:30am. The odds of me posting were 50/50 at best and so luckily I contacted our neighborhood concierge. They manage the community Rolodex and took my replacement Q with great concern.

I quickly shared with them where I stack ranked across the community against all other F3 members. They quickly had the suggestion to go to the bottom of the barrel with the idea of making that person better….

Turns out it was going to be split Q because Banjo and Dancing Bear are freaking awful….could I trust that they would get this done? They had no chance but to commit to me. I would need to trust in them because no way could I put enough brain cells into writing a weinke…

I arrived, both Qs were onsite and it was time….

Banjo provided that tiny West Virginia DiCCS that his wife told him was fine….off we go!!


Banjo has the first “half”…

Warmup mosey back behind Pet Smart and over to Target parking lot. Circle up:

  • 20 x SSH
  • 15 x IW
  • 20 x Merkins
  • Jimmy Dugan
  • Calf Stretch
  • 15 x Widearm Merkin

Mosey back to new medical buildings for some EMOM. Every Minute on the Minute. 10 burpees & 35 monkey jumpers. Complete 3 rounds, on last round hump up to 50

Mosey to Petsmart for Jack Webb’s of 9. 8 Donkey kicks, hold last for 10 seconds and then 1 merkin. Rep scheme:8-1, 7-2, 6-3 etc….

Mosey to Target parking lot get in groups of 3. Burpee then sprint to partner at light pole, next partner does a burpee then sprints etc. 4 rounds.

Dancing Bear realized it was way past half of the workout and it was his turn…

Using the long lot in the Target parking light. 2 lights up and 1 back. The up is 10 speed skaters and back 10 high knee slaps. Once complete sprint backwards to the start.

Second round. 10 mountain climbers and 10 plank jacks.

Mosey to Petsmart for a Starfish a car. Burpee at the center between each round. 4 corners of 15 reps each. LBCs. Heels to Heaven. American Hammers. WW II sit-ups.

Mosey back to COT. Times up.


I weighted myself before leaving for my 7 day beer adventure with my lovely wife knowing my daily calorie allotments would be high. 207 is what I weighed when I left but as of this morning I weighed 220. It was totally worth all the incredible breads, cheeses and brews….

I knew today would be brutal but I deserved what ever was coming. I am feeling indifferent about my split Q brothers, Banjo and Dancing Bear. I may never say anything even remotely nice about either of you publicly and even after this morning I don’t intend to change that. I do at least plan to just give you guys a simple thank you. That’s it.

Also, please make a point to ask you both pee less in the pool this year. It’s gross.

I’m slowly falling asleep typing this but I agreed to write the BB in exchange for the Q coverage. My end of the negotiations is complete. Goodnight and good day sirs.

Thank you Bottlecap for taking us out.


    Soft Pretzel has Dromedary
    Chicken Little has Chiseled
    Watchtower’s location is changing in June

Meat and Taters

18 men showed up for a great morning and a standard workout.  I haven’t been out to Hawks Nest in a while but it is one of the better AO’s in Charlotte.

The workout:  Head to big track.  1 quickish lap.

4 Corners, 25 of each at each corner. 25 Merkins, 25 Squats, 25 Situps, 25 Mountain Climbers

Lap 2, 25 dry docks, 25 monkey humpers, 25 Freddie Mercury’s, 25 lunges.

after finishing those 800 reps we ran over to the turf field.

Partner up:

P1 Run

P2 Merkins flapjack until we hit 200 reps.

Round 2 100 Jump Squats

Round 3 200 LBC’s

Head back to main parking lot for 20 burpees and we’re done.

Fun big group out there this morning with picture perfect 50 degree weather.  Semigloss went ahead and hurt himself on the very first lap.

Definitely a suspect  move as he started his own track work after resting on the bench for 10 minutes and giving himself a massage on the brick corner of the building.  Weird. 

I hope everyone enjoyed it, we had standard situations like everyone making fun of me for a disorganized start, Puddin’s sh*t ups instead of situps, Header’s condescending remarks, and Iron Horse kicking my arse.  Thanks to Hops for inviting me to lead and then helping me with my planned destinations and most of all taking us out in prayer.   I botched the PAX list with getting bombarded by Fast Twitch along with 3 or so slipping out at 6:13. 


Given that

  1. dudes love jokin’ about ’em
  2. we all owe our existence to ’em,
    • AND
  3. I fix ’em and/or chop ’em off for a living

I thought I’d try my hand at bustin’ em for my VQ.

Warm up:

Mosey around Hickory Tavern to the first audible of the morning: a tree across the sidewalk meant we were running across parking lots and curbs rather than the sidewalk on our way to the bank parking lot to circle up.

  • SSH IC x 20
  • Imperial Walkers IC x 20
  • Goofballs IC x 15 (picture a standing mountain climber with arms and a visual result as the name implies)

Up to this point was all I could remember and the VQ jitters were still in play while I fumbled with my iPhone to refresh my memory…

Deep breath, embrace the anxiety and carry on…

  • Squat IC x 20 (dodging my phone on the ground as pax after pax winced at the close calls)
  • Mountain climber IC x 20
  • Jingle balls in 8 count cadence x 10

From the plank position, move right foot to right hand, back, right foot to left hand, back, left foot to left hand, back, left foot to right band, back.

F3 Exicon

Actually a good leg stretch and once you get the rhythm, it begins to burn the obliques. Might make this my signature move. Also, if they weren’t before, the Pax are beginning to pick up on a theme…

  • DD/ calf stretch while I fumble again with the iPhone / weinke
  • Plank/ 6 in (Damascus says “NO!”)
  • Plank jacks IC x 20
  • Compass with slow count Merkins IC x 8 (one per pax) with pax calling out compass points.

“N… E… S… ” was totally boring until Smokey calls out “270 degrees (why not just say West?). Much confusion ensued. Total slow (3-count lowering in cadence) Merkins: 30 (started at 5 per compass point but audible to 3 due to YHC knowing the shoulder pain ahead and hoping to protect the rotator cuffs assembled)

Indian run w/ bupee to Target parking lot for

the THANG:

Four star in Target parking lot a la @fusebox

Introduced Bulgarian ball busters:

Reverse lunge ending with a sharp knee-up. Should be accompanied by a karate sound for maximum effect

  • 5 burpees in the middle
  • Bulgarian ball busters x 20 Left leg
  • Bulgarian ball busters x 20 Right leg
  • Mary Catherine x 20
  • Squats x 20

Pax were asking for more.

Just one time through?


Mosey around the back of Petsmart where we had to reel @transporter back from picking up the black plastic “sandbags” laying by the (un)loading dock … of the PET STORE… 

Marry at the parking strip above starting point for sprint suicide

options: “near” speed bump / “far” speed bump / “farthest” stop sign …. sprint there and back and marry for 5 Merkins IC in between. Each pax calls a destination. Much sweating ensued. And even though @Smokey has recently earned the respect moniker, when he was breathing down my neck on last sprint, there was no way I was letting him past…

Finally, my pièce de résistance: Mosey to the alley by Hickory Tavern forAscending testicles.

This is the Exicon exercise that gave me the whole idea for the theme of my VQ. There it sat at the bottom of the first page of the Exicon site beckoning. I modified as follows:

  • OYO with feet against the alley wall: 10 Merkins
  • 15 degrees up the wall: 5 Derkins
  • 45 degrees up the wall: 5 Derkins
  • Balls to the wall: hold for 10 count or press it out: if… you… can.
  • rinse and repeat x 3: if… you… can

Sundry Ab work until time called (during which my repeated compressions on my phone caused it to reset itsself and erase all record of the last 2 weeks of my life). I need a watch.

CoT/ announcements

  • Q source
  • Bible study monday night
  • Murph’s a-coming
  • Thanks to Transporter for taking us out

As the first (so far only) FNG to Asylum, it was an appropriate venue for my VQ. Much thanks to all the pax who out came in support. I love the camaraderie of a smaller AO and especially the opportunity for an always deep QSource after. Ackbar’s only complaint was the indian run pace that sped up as soon as he dropped for his burpee. In actuality, you always bring joy and positivity with you and I love being around you. Chastain put in a solid performance and embraced the pain. Transporter, Kid Rock, Blue Screen and Smokey led the charge and pushed us all on the sprints . Shop Dawg led from the back like a wolf pack Alpha and his presence always brings a steadying force. Damascus not only refused to plank 6 inches but he refused to removed his 15 pound vest even with his balls to the wall – a beautiful beastly man.

Thank you for the opportunity to serve you all a ball – busting this morning.

You Have to Start Somewhere

10 PAX made their Monday matter by posting at Blakovery to run the Flat Branch Route. Bratwurst was early, prompting us to wonder if we were in the right place and at the appointed time we were off. One PAX, not making it for the initial launch, parked near Harris Teeter, jumped out of his car and caught up to the rest as I made up the six.

This was my first post to a running workout in almost 4 months. My first set back was at the end of January when I tweaked my calf. Then, while nursing that injury, I ended up in a wheelchair for a few weeks, apparently doing something really bad to the psoas/hip flexor muscle.

Sad Clown Syndrome set in and my pants were not fitting right. It is amazing how my need/desire for cookies exponentially increased when I stopped posting.

My goal this morning was to run/jog for about 45 minutes at an 11-12 minute pace. I quickly wondered if I could accomplish those goals. Physically and mentally it was tough. Things hurt when I started running. Not only where I was injured but all over.

Then to see guys run off in the distance (that happened before but usually I was not that far behind) messed with my mind. It is not fun running OYO. Maybe I made a mistake trying to get back into this running thing. Maybe I shouldn’t get up early. Maybe it is just easier to fart sack. Maybe I am too old, too slow, too fat…

It was like I was starting from scratch and that sucks.

I was thinking about giving up. Walking back to the AO. But then in the distance I spotted a headlamp coming towards me. With it, a familiar figure and voice checking in on me, and carrying some simple words of encouragement “you have to start somewhere.”

This has been my experience with F3. Everytime I need help, words of wisdom, encouragement, accountability, a PAX is there. But I can’t just sit home, in the comfort of my warm bed, and expect those things to show up. I have to show up. Whether it is F3MASH, a 3rd F, 2nd F, F3dads event, bootcamp or gear workout. Whether I am in front, the middle or my usual spot in the 6. I just need to show up.

That is the best place to start.