Monthly Archive May 2019

Course Correction

16 present for the monthly AMRAP at Impromptu. Although the current course has been around for a good 5 months not many all Pax were familiar with it. We did a cursory walk thru with some warm-up and then headed to the start line.

The basic course design is roughly .47 loop with 6 stations with varying exercises. Course breakdown

  • station 1 – 15 Mike Tyson’s
  • station 2 – 20 Derkins
  • station 3 – 20 Step ups
  • station 4 – 20 Dips
  • station 5 – rock carry
  • station 6 – bear crawl + 20 Bobby Hurleys

The course has been modified a bit at the whim of the site Q’s: modified down from 20 Tyson’s to 15 – increased Hurley’s from 10 to 20. The 20 Hurley’s seemed to slow the pace down a bit and it looked like “form” did suffer a bit today.

Measuring Tap

  • Doughboy 3+ Derkins
  • Xeroix 3
  • Akbar 3 + Derkins
  • Wild Thing 3+ Derkins
  • Deflated 4
  • Dana 3+ Derkins
  • CarbLoad 3
  • BottleCap 4
  • GatorCub 3+ Derkins
  • Dasher 4
  • Rubbermaid 4
  • Chainsaw 3
  • Damascus 4
  • Foundation 3+ Derkins
  • Hooch 3+ Dips
  • Recalculating 3+ Derkins

I saw everyone pushing hard today – the course was challenging today no doubt. The speed skaters were in the front but some new additions to this pack. Recommendation made by GatorCub to reduce the reps makes sense to allow for good form so that the exercises are done correctly and you get FULL VALUE OUT OF the AMRAP. If you want a running workout go to Pursuit – if you want a Gear workout head to Chiseled: Amrap should be the combo that draws from all the workouts.


Prayers up for my friend (John), Doughboys SIS Inlaw, Damascus FIL – all struggling with health/cancer related.

Akbar – Christ’s Closet needs help loading up on June 7th. Clothes will be handed out at a school in need – Salisbury. See Akbar for details.

MoneyBall Send Off – June 7th

Nali (bottlecap) Father – Son Bball tourney -June 8th.

Playhouse Calendar is starting to take shape: hold the date 3rd Annual Effies -Nov.16th

Sally, Monkey Humpers, and Roxanne

A confessional disclaimer was given and off we went in a serpentine fashion up Trade to the park to visit a very tall flag pole.  

15 x SSH – Because of the intimate/close proximity of our circle Nomad did his sideways (90 degrees)

10 x Good Morning Nashville – Not to make Nomad feel left out, the entire PAX went sideways on these.

15 x EW – Performed head on

Mosey – we completed the lap through the park.  There was a joyous shout (probably by Lois) that there was not a Board of Pain posted. We continued across the street and ended up in front of the Matthews Baptist Church offices.  I think it was Snoopy who said, “great – I don’t see a speaker.”  Little did he know that it was hidden behind the church hooptie!

There just happened to be a metal fence.  The PAX lined up against it (kinda like ballerinas).  The first song out of the speaker was Flower’s Sally from the movie Gone in Sixty Seconds.  Yeah right! This song is like six hours long:  

Round 1 – Every time the song says “bring sally up” the PAX performed a supine pull up on the bar.  Grand total – 32 supines performed during duration of the song without your back ever touching the ground.

Round 2 – Every time the song says “bring sally up” the PAX performed a merkin. Grand total – 32 merkins performed during duration of the song.

Round 3 – Every time the song says “bring sally up” the PAX performed an air squat.  Grand total – 32 air squats performed during duration of the song.

Mosey to the parking lot where four sets of suicides were run:

Round 1 – 25 LBCs every time you came back to the baseline.

Round 2 – 25 Merkins every time you came back to the baseline.

Round 3 – 25 Heels to heaven every time you came back to the baseline.

Round 4 – 25 Monkey Humpers every time you came back to the baseline.  A PAX favorite

Mosey back to the hooptie. This time with a new tune – Roxanne

Round 1 – Every time the song says “Roxanne” the PAX performed a merkin. Grand total – 27 merkins performed during duration of the song.

Round 2 – Every time the song says “Roxanne” the PAX performed an atomic-merkin. Grand total – 27 atomic-merkins performed during duration of the song.

Mosey back to launch. 

25 x LBC and we are done.


Some serious hard work today by the PAX.  Everyone seemed to take seriously the charge this morning: “It is you verse you!” Great to see the boys from Sparta stride in to join us.

Thanks for the take out Lois!

Parental Advisory

12 assembled in the lighted area of the ELE Parking lot – half of them were prerunners of varying distances- here’s what we did

SSH x 20 IC  

10 Two Handed Swings 

 IW x20 IC 

20 two handed Swings 

Merkin x20 IC

30 Two handed Swings  

Queue the “music” – more on that later

3 Excercises together x 3 rounds

Rd 1

10 Clean Each Arm

10 Rack Squats Each Arm

10 Lawn Mowers Each Arm 

20 LBC (or lay on the pavement) once done

Rd 2

10 Snatches Each Arm

10 Romanian DeadLifts Each leg

10 Shoulder Presses Each Arm

                20 LBC once complete

Rd 3

20 Two Handed Overhead Press

20 Good Mornings

20 Two Handed Swing

                Flutter w/bell once done

MultiMovement Flow Sets – Both Movementsx 2/4/6/4/2 REPS EACH HAND

One hand Swing to High Pull 

Racked Squat to Shoulder Press

Ran out of time for the two additional rounds of Multimovement sets….next time

Finished up with 25 Merkins for good measure


Once the disclaimer was given, it was no holds barred 45 minutes of Pandora’s Hard Rock Exercise Channel and flying KB’s!  Probably should have disclaimed the pax about the Pandora station which apparently is laced with explicit lyrics bringing more than a few stank eyes from TR.  Thankfully a few timely commercials softened the mood and had Voodoo wondering if YHC received payment from Pandora to play this station… I may receive a small stipend from them for the 5-1 commercial to song ratio!  If its free its for me.  I’ve probably only swung bells twice over the course of the last two months due to either injury or training for ultras, but it was great to be back in the ring.  Went lighter in weight and heavier in reps today, hopefully others had lighter bells in their quivers or it would have been a long morning.  Grips were tested today and those without Gloves/Towels struggled to keep the bells in hand.  Turkey Leg Shot putted his KB into the center of the circle at one point.  Overheard something about a surf trip gone bad to my right whereby there may have been some kind of Portuguese nipple torture involved.  We also reminisced about days gone by when Radar and brown would join us at meathead.  It was fun – enjoyed it Gang! 


Ghost runner starts tonight 7:30 arbo abc

McHorsey starts on 6/3/19

6/1 king tiger 5k (Swift Folks organizing – check slack Run channel for deets)

Crane relay signups end 5/31/19 – Date of Event 7/26

Respect your Q, and for the kids’ sake – keep your shirt on.

A shovel flag was planted, but not the Hydra one…do you know why? Because Gummy & Sprockets have not commandeered one yet. YHC brought the Hawks Nest SF…it travels. Pretty sure DK melted down the original Hydra SF to make some medieval looking lance or sword.

So the veteran pax was disclaimed, quite poorly…though I did ask if anyone had any questions. Spackler raised his hand, but I dared not acknowledge.

We launched at 05:30:13 into the Area51 gloom, immediately departing from OPES and heading across Rea to the Methodist church. One of the pax rightly pointed out the Q-drenaline…it dissipated quickly. Circle up for COP in the lot. Site Q Gummy and some other veterans had rudely closed a few of the pax out of the circle, so YHC corrected that…come on!

We did some exercises which included H-R merkins, slow squats, IW’s, and then 25 flutters that illicited some mumble chatter. Also threw in 5 H-R burpees…refuseniking already in full force. The form on IW’s reminded of the GIF YHC posted yesterday of SSH’s….always surprising how different and atrocious is the form of some pax on the simplest of exercises. Keeps it entertaining if nothing else.

We then ran to Evelyn’s Rock’s Hill (is that a thing? it is now). Partner up for some 7’s. Handslap merkins at top and partner derkins at the bottom. Semi-Gloss was YHC’s partner, and mercifully still had his shirt on at this point. Much more to come on that later.

Not sure who was out front, who was behind and who was skipping reps, but I seem to remember Sleepy’s tandem being out front. Methinks he should post more than once a week…ask the M. for permission. You, too, Queen – you should try a gloomy morning other than Thursday.

Good to have Hopper back in the gloom, fully off IR…though burpees may never be in his repertoire again? Amber apparently does burpees all the time. More on burpees later.

The pax then headed back on Summerlin towards OPES and then again to the church lot for some rock work. We didn’t get much rock work in – a couple sets of thrusters and some Mary. YHC got rattled by some incoming traffic, and called off the rock work. There was some weeping and gnashing of teeth, but Harley was glad to redeposit his rock in the ditch.

Before bailing on the rock work; however, my aforementioned partner Gloss decided to take off his shirt #ohthehumanity and further desecrated both the church property and the Q by throwing the shirt at YHC as I tried to Q the unruly pax. Would have spilled merlot had that garment landed on me rather than next to me. #closecall

We headed back to OPES for some People’s Chair to include some overhead press. Vaguely recall Puddin’ or someone chasing Marge off the wall with some sort of bodily excretion…colloidal in structure no doubt.

We then moseyed to the grass field for an extended session of Mary (11.23 minutes). Pax circled up, and each took a turn in center doing 5 burpees while the rest of the pax did the called Mary, Plankorama, etc. Even the refuseniks did the 5 burpees…though they returned to their place in the circle and sat as though they were sitting at the pool sunning themselves. You know who you are. The form was quite varied, but not nearly as bad as I anticipated. You guys really can do burpees….so armed with that info, after about a 40 yard lunge walk – we did 5 more H-R burpees.


There were some announcements:

1 – F3MASH launches Monday morning at same time and AO as Basecamp (South Charlotte MS on Strawberry Ln) at 0530. This is for pax not yet fully off IR that want to get some work in, but more importantly to get some 2nd F which is more vital than the 1st F. We all know that. It’s our pride that impedes our admitting such.

2 – Beer Mile on Friday, June 7th – see Gummy or Pop Tart? or someone else for details.

3 – Paint Ball with 2.0’s the next day on Saturday, June 8th. Definitely see Pop Tart if interested in that.

A great takeout prayer by Puddin’. Thanks brother.

…and now for some other sundry observations:

  • T-claps to One Eye, Sprockets and Amber for running in, and to Amber for the burpee tutorial
  • T-claps(ish) to Sleepy for bicycling in
  • Can’t let this backblast end without mentioning that not only did Gloss go shirtless at about 0556; but he left his shirt behind in the parking lot. Puddin’ noticed the green gases coming off of the maroon monstrosity, and picked it up asking what should we do with it? If only OPES still had a trash incinerator.

Always love Q’ing. Great turnout this morning. Love the 2nd F at Hydra. Hope the 1st F was good enough. I did have us at 2.41 miles (finally figured out how to use my Garmin)…which is way more than we should have done at a bootcamp. You’re welcome…I think.

Toes in the Water That Ass is Making us Carry Sand

26 men joined me this morning for a good Ole’ Floater 87 workout for a sandbag filled birthday workout. 

Warm Up:
Get into Groups of 3 
Each Group grab a sandbag and let’s mosey
Mosey Down the sidewalk down to the food lion parking lot 
17 SSH’s
17 Imperial Walkers
17 Merkins
17 Potato Pickers
The Thang: 
Mosey back towards town stopping at each light to do 5 Speed Skaters (Switching sandbags when Needed)
Halt in front of Dream Chasers 
70 Derkins
70 Dips
70 Step-Ups
P2 &P3 
Partner Carries around Dream Chasers
Run a lap around Dream Chasers

Move over to the Tracks 
17 Curls @ the beginning of bridge 
17 Squats across the bridge 
17 Tricep Extensions @ the end of the bridge
P2 & P3 
Mosey a lap around the tracks one partner switches and the other runs another lap and then flips ( This entire set became extremely confusing)
Mosey back to COT

Mole Skin: 
Thank You to everyone who posted this morning and supported me. Numbers were high which is always a good problem to have.  However the high numbers did lead to an audible in the workout. In the end it all turned out fine though good push every one  

Topless and sweaty

When the pre-dawn temperature is already over 70, and humidity is high, sometimes a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do.

Or in our case, most of the guys gotta did. Details below.

Weinke was pretty simple: go to the Crestdale track. Run around it for a while. Then come back for COT.

(there was a “mixed workout” option, but Gipsy’s sweaty tats proved too strong a lure, and everyone went with the “run only” option.)

The THANG: 2/1/30 2 minutes at a recovery jog (or walk/jog), 1 minute at a 10K race pace, and 30 seconds of speed. Repeato. Goal was 10, but only had time to do 9 on the track. Then did some kind of equivalent 2/1/30 on the way back to the school.

Moleskin: I logged somewhere around 6.6 miles. Funky Cold and Joker(?) lapped all of our slow butts, then still had enough gas in the tank to take the lead on the run back to MES. So they probably got point something more miles. Although FC rolled in after we had already exited the parking lot, so everyone but him got an extra few hundred yards as we circled the church playground to go pick him up. (Quick aside: Did you know there are steps on that sidewalk? We found out. Thankfully no Pax were harmed making that discovery.) Good bit of chatter with our fellowship pace mosey to the track. Then the whistle started, and the chatter stopped. Almost got our 10 sets in, but YHC made the call at about 2 past to get going back to the school – the other school. Good thing we did, as we rolled in with about 40 seconds to spare. Just long enough to watch the final few Mary of the Peak crowd but not so soon that we felt obligated to join.

Oh, and about the title for this BB: we left the parking lot shirted. When we got to the track, almost everyone stripped to the waist. So maybe the headlines were more exciting than the rest of the story, but I’m sure you’ve never been lured into something by a good line before.

Chiseled Redemption

ANNOUNCEMENT: Clyent Dinner happens Thursday nights 5:30-6:15pm. Bootcamp at Cuthbertson Middle. Deadwood on Q tomorrow night! Best evening workout in Western Union!

13 PAX, including 1 FNG and 1 site FNG (2nd workout), showed up at Five Stones Community Church for a gear workout out of curiosity to see if the Q was actually going to use gear for 2 reasons:

  1. YHC has been whining about nursing a bad back after Chicken Little stupidly made him do brick-slap merkins 2 weeks ago
  2. YHC’s biceps can also double for kabob sticks


  • D(isclaimer) C(ell Phone) C(pr certified) S(afety overview of site) given as well as waivers signed (for church property)
  • Quick mosey to other side of parking lot
  • SSH x 20
  • Merkins x 10
  • MC x 10
  • PP x 10
  • LSS x 5
  • Lunge Squat x 5 each side


  • Make 3 man teams of similar strength (commence with penis measuring awkward discussion)
  • Bicep work
    • P1: Hand Release Knee Slap Burpees x 100
    • P2: Hairburners with plates (35-45lbs)
    • P3: Dumbbell curls (35-45lbs)
  • SlamBall team work (teams of 2 or 3)
    • Squat with SlamBall and launch it forward (think Volleyball set)
    • Do 2 burpees
    • Run and get SlamBall while Partner(s) do 2 burpees
    • Go to end of parking lot
  • Burpee Indian SlamBall Run
    • Front PAX holds SlamBall
    • Last PAX does Burpee and runs to front of line and grabs SlamBall
    • Run around outside of parking lot
  • Shoulder work
    • P1: Bombjacks x 100
    • P2: Run/Walk with plates overhead
    • P3: Shoulder presses with dumbbells
  • Bicep/Shoulder work
    • 10 minutes of various called exercises
    • Rotating Biceps, Legs, Shoulders


  • Awesome to see Flow post at Chiseled after posting for the first time in SOB earlier this week. Welcome. Looking forward to having you around. (And nice job jumping right into the Playhouse on GroupMe . . . Good life tips coming from there today)
  • Welcome FNG Blow Out (Anthony). Clearly one of the smartest PAX to come out of the Briars and Crest . . . Since he is already moving. Well done!
  • Lots of serious #RESPECT this morning for Chainsaw . . . At one point he asked if I was trying to kill him but he seemed to have no trouble throwing the weight around
  • Not to be outdone, Xerox’s shoulder is apparently feeling better. When pushed towards a smaller weight, he grabbed the 45lb dumbbell for overhead presses . . . #CopyThat
  • It was nice to see “Mr. Invitation” Recalculating showing up at an event even though it wasn’t in the GroupMe calendar
  • It was nice to see “Mr. Evite” Zinfandel actually give some props to Recalc for showing him the light on the calendar function and then blowing up the GroupMe thread with a million invites
  • Apparently Doughboy and Blades of Glory were on the US National Shotput team . . . Tossing the Slamball like YHC toss a tennis ball
  • Damascus has completely morphed into a Gazelle right before our eyes . . . Nice work throwing the 45lb Dumbbell around in that last circle
  • Chicken Little‘s neck continues to get skinnier as well which is allowing his barking to get louder
  • Speaking of skinnier, Tupperware continues to post (and even Q) and the results are impressive. Awesome to see a 16/17 year old making positive life changes . . . Stick with it brother!
  • And then there’s Deadwood who has gotten so skinny that he is putting weight back on via a 20lb weight vest today . . . And thanks for helping me set-up and put away the gear


  • Prayers for McFly who is battling health and family issues
  • Watchtower is MOVING: Tuesday bootcamp 0530-0615 at NewTown Elementary starting this Tuesday 6/4 . . . Bottlecap on Q
  • What’s my name?: WUC is starting a new Region and need some ideas for a creative name that contains some geographical reference to our area. Serve up your names.
  • Floater tomorrow: Tupperware has Q 0530-0615 in Downtown Waxhaw (meet in front of Waxhaw United Methodist). #TinyWeinke

Thanks to Doughboy for taking us out and lifting McFly up.


Tai Chi is a “soft” Chinese martial that uses circular, range of motion. All the movements are simple, but putting it all together in one continuous movement takes practice and discipline. (Sounds a lot like life.)

There are four main styles of Tai Chi, but I know the Sun style best. It has a higher stance, shorter steps and the footwork emphasizes balance.

I am a Tai Chi novice, but I always feel invigorated after reviewing the movements.

Lessons from Tai Chi:
– Remember to focus on breath
– Be present,
– Don’t worry about being perfect, allow your movement to flow
– It’s ok to start over
– Practice, practice & practice!

Special thank you to Swiss Miss for hosting me and Madison and Beaver for being good sports and trying something new.

Musical highlights included The Flaming Lips, Modest Mouse, Interpol and The Pixies.

Excessive counts of exercises

9 men gathered in the gloom for Death Valley. A bit cooler and less humid than I expected so we had that going for us. Several guys there early and hanging out in cars. Apparently they have forgotten the cold weather is behind us.

Pre-warning of Lazy Boy’s birthday had a focus on a high amount of reps. Real high! (Sorry Lazy Boy)

COP – Usual squats, merkins, and SSH’s etc.

Run down Strawberry Lane with stops for Merkins, Monkey Humpers and Burpees.

7’s on the hill with jump squats and burpees. When done, run backwards up the hill and crush the quads with 51 Monkey Humpers.

Back to school with stops for Werkins, Heels to Heaven, & Burpees.

Some mary and another 5 burpees to get to 51 total (for those who failed to modify)

3 sets of supines and step ups, wall sits, air presses, Donkey Kicks, and Mary to finish.

The ‘Skine

The good friend Cottonmouth is gave me the heads up the night before that it was Lazy Boy’s 51’st. Seems like as good a reason as any to get after it.

Lots of modification on the burpees by some guys. Some are legit recovering from injury, some preventing recurring injuries, and some with weak excuses. I’ll let you self select your group.

Good to be back out with the DV PAX. Hard to leave WAMRAP when it’s so close to the house and I can get 8 minutes more sleep! Thanks to Dollywood for the invite to Q.

Thanks to Smokey for the takeout.


Needed That

Tags not working right: Area 51/Anvil

Pax: Clover, Limey, Flo Jo, Lorax, Brilleaux, Brushback, Hammer, Hannibal, Snuka, Mermaid

Thin Mint put a request for substi-Q on the Slack on Monday. YHC hadn’t Q’d in over a month so gladly covered this one up for the SOB Nan’tan. 9 guys rolled in, most unaware of the Q change. Disclaimer given and off we go.


Cross-campus mosey to warm the legs up. Circle up in lot nearest 51


All to 15 IC: SSH, Mountain Climber, Peter Parker, Merkin, Low Slow Squat

Mosey over to Ent 2 Rock Pile and grab lifting rock

Rock Set: 10 Curl/10 Thruster/10 Tri Ext

Run up and around the Ent 2 drop off and back to rocks. Repeat x4.

Rapid Fire Rock Set

Continuous rock exercises to 10 in civilian cadence. Rock stay in hand throughout. Overhead press/Curl/Goblet Squat/Overhead press/Curl/Goblet Squat/Tri Ext/Overhead Press/Goblet Squat/Curl/Overhead Press/Tri Ext/Overhead Press/Curl

Put rock over head. Brisk walk up Ent 2 around the island and back to pile. Drop rock.

Mosey to Hot Box

Bench Set: 10 Jump Up/15 Dip/15 Derkin

Run to street light. 5 Burpees. Back to Hot Box. Repeat x 2.

Mary to regroup

Mosey to Avenue of Trees

Down and back. 5 Merkin at each tree on way down. Mosey back.

Flutter x 20/Dolly x 20

Mosey past launch lot down to pond and up North Face. Back to launch

Plank-o-rama: RAH/RLH/10 Count/Swap Left/Low Plank/Alt Leg Lift x 10 IC/Elbow-hold for 40 seconds. Done



Did a 13.1 mile ruck Monday with Haze, IH, Geraldo, and Alf. Was hurting yesterday with some lingering soreness today. Long way to go with weight on your back. Needed to hit the upper body. Hence the rock work.

Lorax and Clover had dueling shirts on, UNC/Duke. They aggressively squared off prior to launch. It was weird, but I’ve been down here long enough to kind of understand it.

Told the fellas that Thin Mint gave me the plan today. Not true, but fairly certain they suspected that. Truth is, didn’t have a plan until halfway through the mosey. Busy last night and fell asleep before I had a chance to put something together.

That was a good bit of rock work. No complaining from the men and it looked to me like all reps were completed. Well done.

Hit most of the campus today and upper body heavy. Can thank the Monday ruck for getting swole today. It is pool season.

Brilleaux and Lorax battled for the lead mostly with Hammer and Snuka up there as well. Whole crew got after it. Kotters to Hannibal, at least at Anvil. Good to see you out there brother.

Pretty tired and beat up this morning with that ruck and not enough sleep. Feel so much better after working out and the fellowship with you guys. I needed that. Hope you all got your money’s worth. Always an honor and a pleasure to lead the fine men of Anvil.


Beer Mile-hit Gummy

Paintball 06/08. SOB v A51. Right now it is 2 v 2. Pop Tart is your guy on this one.

F3 Dads starts this weekend. Francis Beatty Park. Lex Luther is the man on that.