I’ve taken a few hours to gather my feelings, and I think that the best way to describe how I felt this morning involves a flightless turkey being dropped out of a helicopter. To quote Les Nessman “hitting the ground like a bag of wet cement.”
But it’s not all about me. 9 other guys showed up and got after it.
Thang:
Warmup run to the bottom of the sneaky big hill at the end of Whitefriars Ln (behind the MARA ballfields). Run back out of the neighborhood, turning around at each dead end or cul-de-sac like a giant suicide run and going back to start. Imagine that you are a Roomba. 6+ miles of this goodness and then run back to launch.
Skin:
Welp, that sucked. I’ve done worse, but the combination of my current running fitness level and that route hit me like a 2X4 between the eyes. Maybe it’s my exclusive Captain D’s diet. I’m looking to switch it up. I keep getting fish grease on my Patagonia Power Vest and everything tastes the same now.
You know who’s not on a Captain D’s diet. Tiger Rag. He only eats pine bark shavings and sunshine. Looking good too. He’ll be ready for McHorse in no time.
Speaking of McHorsey, I hear that there’s a new group of squatters who have taken the place over. Something about Mr. Furley’s Beast. Or was it Mr. Roper? Anyway, whatever is going on out there is probably weird and that’s a good thing. We’ll have to work something down come Memorial Day. I hear Baracus wants to be Site Q this year.
Funky Cold dusted everybody today. He had a cell phone belt holster filled with Billtong. If you ask him what the difference between Billtong and Beef Jerkey is, he’ll punch you right in the nose. There’s a place out in Indian Trail that sells fresh billtong, as well as lawn and garden supplies. Look it up.
I enjoyed running with Shake & Bake, until he dropped me like a Floater. He said I was his 87th victim. Still like that guy though.
Gypsy dressed like Bert from Sesame Street for some reason. He couldn’t pull off the Bert impression though. Gotta have the eyebrows to make that happen. I know a guy. Don’t hate.
Christmas doesn’t speak. He just goes.
Didn’t get to hang out with Arena or Madison. They also dusted me. I pretty much tanked this one. I will have my revenge soon.
ProTip: Change your Siri to a female British accent and you will immediately feel like James Bond.
I’ll let Spooky John know he doesn’t need to find a Horsey Site Q for this year since Baracus has already stepped up (or been volun-told but doesn’t matter – he has it).
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