Lofty Expectations



Lofty Expectations

Ignition- aka Hollywood’s insane asylum. 4 mile minimum…let’s just go ahead and say it now, a 4 mile Q won’t get you invited back! 12 Pax took a guided, meandering tour of new Lawson to get a jump start on their work week and hopefully meet Hollywood’s lofty expectations.

5:15-DiCCS done. We placed our lives (and my ankles) in Tupperware’s black bean and guacamole stained hands and followed him down the treacherous grassy hill, across a raging river, and through the woods to reach our launch point for the day’s festivities.

Warm-up:

Way too fast a mosey Leisurely jog to pool circle up. SSH/Calf Stretches (for me)/10 Merkins/Enough

The Thang:

YHC ran into Transporter yesterday. Told him I was on Q at Ignition and was trying to figure out some good spots in new Lawson. He obliged with introducing me to a portion of his “Heat Run” that follows a hilly trail through the new side. As it turns out, the 1/2 man 1/2 machine Transporter actually chooses runs based upon how much they make him sweat. He said “this one is a good one.” On my scale 1-10, it scored a perfect 10, Full Dehydration. Kudos for that, Sean!!!

We left pool area in pursuit of the trail and jogged a half or mile or so to the road that connects both entrances. At the mailboxes there she was- Transporter’s Trail. We hit it at a high rate of speed. What a terrific miserable little .5 mile treat! We ran it the first time with no exercises to interrupt the fun. Then, 5 burpees later we ran back the way we came. At each bridge, do 5 burpees. As it turns out, Transporter Trail has more bridges than Pittsburgh (look it up). 40 or so burpees and ridiculous hill climbs later, we made it out the other side to where we began.

Jog back the way we came for a little backwards run. YHC remembered a cul-de-sac we’d run in the past. Initially, I gave into my lazy nature and called for what was “coined” a Dime. Basically, a half-a$$ version of a Triple Nickel. 10 squats at the top 5 burpees at the bottom…twice. Bottlecap didn’t like it, so we went ahead and made it a full-blown Triple.

Head back to pool area. 5 Squats at each light pole. Arrived back at pool for an Ignition first and last…an Abs station. 20LBCs/10 pistols each/20 Hammers. At this point, Hollywood began his interpretive dance known as the Frack. Where Frack doesn’t stretch, Hollywood doesn’t ab. It seemed like he was ready to run off and leave us, so I had to come up with a quick fix.

.5 mile back to where we launched. At each of the 50 light poles, 5 jump squats…oh yeah, and 5 burpees to get us started. We did Jump squats on the way down, merkins on the way back with burpees at each end. Final trip back towards launch we did plank jacks (one each leg) at each light. 1.5 bonus miles and heaven only knows how many squats, merkins, and plank jacks.

Back through the woods, across the raging river, and up the treacherous grassy hill and on to the safety of paved surface. At this point, YHC had a dilemma- do we join Flash with 3 minutes left or smile and run right through the middle of the Irish jig they were all doing? We joined in…best guess was we were doing hand release merkins. One lap in. I was able to wrangle most of the Igniters for a final suicide. 6:15 done. Between 4.8 and 5.25 miles covered. Hollywood still not pleased about the abs. It’s possible I’ll never lead Ignition again.

Moleskin:

Ignition guys (minus Wolverine and Hollywood) seemed tired at the end of the workout. As my heart was still pounding in my ears, I thought I heard a voice that sounded like an amalgamation of Johnny Depp’s pirate, Steve Irwin’s Crikey, and a dash of Colin Farrell. I also saw a man handing out coins of some sort (we didn’t get to keep them). Posse yet again pulled out all the stops and put on quite the celebratory Q. From the chatter on GroupMe, that accent(s) carried on for 45 minutes. Next Q School Posse’s committed to introducing us to the finer points of cadence counting while out of breath and in an accent! Flash was the rainbow and its backblast will undoubtedly be a Pot of Gold. Can’t wait to read it, Posse!

The accent from the guy on the Lucky Charm’s box took us out.

Announcements:

Lattini (sic?) 8k coming up soon. Damascus on Q. See Posse and News Channels for more details

Dash For Down. See Rubbermaid

JDRF Walk. See Easy Button

About the author

MoneyBall author

You must be logged in to post a comment.