Sacky Hackin’

Sacky Hackin’

The 5:29am PSA that YHC would be substit-q-ing for A51 Godfather, Hops, was met immediately with 20 forlorn looks of concern, confusion, and disappointment. Not sure what to make of all that (and rather than unpack everyone’s true feelings on the matter), we mosied.

1/2 way up to the COP, Scratch n Win casually mentioned that he plans to jump out of a plane on his 40th birthday (because clearly there’s nothing worth living for after that point). Being duly uplifted, we circled up…

  • SSHs = 40, in exponentially accelerating fashion, demonstrating that things only gain speed as we approach that arbitrary number. (Deep. Metaphorical. ponder that one)
  • Mtn Climbers = 20 (life is a mountain… climbing to our peak at 21?)
  • Hand Release Merkin – getting down close to mother earth (ok, that’s a stretch… it was asphalt)
  • Hacky Sack X 10 (more on this later… it’s too soon for me to re-live at the moment)
  • Mosey to the Turf Field
    • Lap around the field with karaoke, buttkickers, highsteppers
    • bear crawl to the 50, lunge walk to the end (thanks to all who refuted the hacky sackin’)
    • Find a partner of similar


and Line up for partner plank-a-thon

  • Plank for instructions (or disregard me completely and take off like a bat out of heck. Whatever)
  • Partner Plank Curls (15)/flapjack… run across field. Repeat/return
  • Partner Plank Merkins (15)/flapjack… run across field. Repeat/return
  • Partner Plank big boy situps(15)/flapjack… run across field. Repeat/return
  • Partner Plank jumpovers(15)/flapjack… run across field. Repeat/return

Mary at center field (thanks to whoever led the effort here)

  • Flutters?
  • H2Hs?
  • Freddy Mercs
  • “reverse plank” aka “Bridge” (hold!) – you and your back have my 5-year-old’s gymnastics instructor to thank for this one
  • Mosey to the Track for a “miracle mile”
    • Plank for instructions… or, if you’re Puddin’ Pop, correct my mention of “yards” with “meters” (Listen here, communist, here in America we don’t put up with logical international units of measure! You probably like the kind of “football” where people use their FEET to move the ball, don’t ye!?. Best check your citizenship, fool)
    • Run 100 + 10 air squats
    • Run 200 + 20 air squats
    • Run 300 + 30 air squats
    • Run 400 + 40 air squats
    • Run 300 + 30 merkins
    • Run 200 + 20 merkins
      • It was right about here that Charlotte native and NASCAR aficionado, PopTart, slung out of Brushback’s slipstream into the passing lane and sprinted to the finish line. Well played. Now you get to plank longer than anyone.
    • Run 100 + 10 merkins
    • Plank-o-rama
  • Wall w/ Rock
    • 20 presses in chair
    • Toes on wall (20 hipslappers)
    • 20 curls in chair
    • Toes on wall (20 hipslappers)
  • Return to start:
    • Freddy Mercs
    • 10 burpees OYO


  • Revlon nearly ran me off Providence Road en route to his favorite parking spot. (That’s the kind of competitive spirit I like to see at 5:20am!)
  • Deep Dish continues to hold vehemently to his personal 40-degree rule (Hey, you do you, Iceman. You’ve got me excited for spring… great to see you this morning 😉
  • Semi-Gloss and Prohibition continue to subscribe to the same Stitch Fix consultant (#twinsies!)
  • Mad, it was an honor meeting you and sharing an inordinate amount of physical contact with you. Hope to see you back soon.
  • Daylight Savings Time seems to have affected Purple Haze’s watch by not hours, but minutes. Fast Twitch joined us somewhere b/t 6:17 and 6:18. By that time, Bugeater and Billygoat had already started in on their 2nd bloody marys.
  • The debut of the “hacky sack” exercise was met with a wide variety of reactions and near-injuries. Leprechaun seemed to take to it like the Irish jigs of his motherland. Meanwhile, I caught Rachel staring at me like I had a cucumber growing out of my head (perhaps he’s still nursing that shoulder, and this is off the PT list). Regardless, this is the time on Sprockets when we dance! Expect many more exercises in this genre. Next time… the worm.


  • Hops pulled a calf, and Runstopper’s wife, Jenae, has surgery this week. Prayers for quick healing for both.

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