Anxiously Awaiting Puberty



Anxiously Awaiting Puberty

15 PAX descended onto the finest elementary school (not named Elizabeth Lane) in South Charlotte for an all out assault on the body, mind, and soul. It was 0530 Thursday, and that can only mean one thing….. Hydra. Due to the presence of a FNG (welcome, Aaron Bock), YHC delivered a disclaimer sure to go down as one of the finest oratories in F3 history. Well, maybe not the finest, but nonetheless efficient and effective. Off we went into the gloom…

YHC did not disclose to the PAX the presence of a significant neck crick on said body, because one must play through the pain when the chips are down. Think Jordan, Game 7, Flu. Or Herschel Walker with broken ribs against Notre Dame in the ’81 Sugar Bowl. Or Paul Bryant playing against Tennessee with a broken leg in 1935 (Bama won that game). You simply do what needs to be done and to hell with the consequences. Laser focused, determined, and undeterred my mumble chatter, YHC was on a mission to dispense downpainment in biblical proportions. Here is what happened.

COP

Was it long? Yes. Was it unpleasant? Oh, yes. Were you a better man for completing it? Of course you were. You’re welcome.

Brief activity schedule: Burpees (5, 4, 3, 2, 1 at strategic times — Spackler did ZERO, naturally), Merkins (Ascending, Descending, Shoulder Tap), IW, Jump Squats (explosive), Plank Jacks

Mosey down Rea to Chadwyck Farms, take Left into ‘hood, congregate at cul-de-sac for Mary, which included a much needed Runner’s Lunge stretch. Continue mosey to bottom of Evelyn’s Hill as marked by the funky farmhouse on the left plus the 18 Gigawatt street lamp. Seriously, that lamp could land the Space Shuttle back in the day (as you know, NASA has retired the shuttle; sad, but true).

Triple Nickel on Evelyn’s Hill. Wide Arm Merkins at the bottom, Wide Sumo Squats at the top. Mary when finished.

Take Left on Edenbridge and mosey to the church rock pile. Curls, Thrusters, Tricep Extensions, all x10 IC. Hot lap around the church. Semi Gloss ran the opposite direction as everyone else — there’s always one. American Hammer, Rock Presses, Staggered Merkins. Return rock. Hot lap around the church and congregate at the benches under the ol’ oak tree on the OPES campus. At this point, Spackler decided to take a short cut thru the church bog and almost got stuck in the mud, looking like a deranged swamp thing as he re-engaged the PAX. Karma’s a bitch, son.

Benches: Derkins, Dips, Step-ups

Return to Launch. Done.

Moleskin aka Random Observations

FNG Aaron Bock is seriously fast. Sprockets brought him to the workout (well done, dance party boy), and the 2 of them promptly led the running portions, along with One Eye (the ageless wonder), Marge (actively planning a guys only trip which I hear is alcohol-free and thus fun-free), Queen (decked out in his Goodwill best), and Cheese Curd (training for Badwater or something). YHC was thankful that Pop Tart called out Spackler, Semi Gloss, and other PAX for their burpee refusal. Not surprising. Spackler looked like warmed over road kill after his 3 day Gough Cup bender coupled with a trip to Little Rock / Memphis. Ridiculously poor planning, sir. Lewinsky and his bright orange Clemson shirt kept YHC company on Evelyn’s Hill, until the final ascent when Danny Ford left YHC in the dust. Puddin’ was nonstop Chatty Cathy today. Was the workout that easy?? Clover, Bugeater, and Thunder Road punched the clock and went to work, per usual. Well done, gentlemen.

Due to his speed and last name of “Bock”, FNG was named Amber, despite 11th hour pleas to the contrary via text by PAX who shall remain nameless. “Jerk Store. I’m going with Jerk Store!!” – George Costanza. Amber seemingly made it thru the workout with minimal effort, keeping under the radar, until name-o-rama when his voice cracked. Classic. Like chum in the water to this group. Welcome and hope to see you again in the gloom.

Always an honor to lead my favorite AO. Thanks to Queen and Marge for handing me the keys to this well oiled machine aka Hydra.

Take-out by YHC. Again, oratorical excellence.

About the author

JetFuel author

Subscribe
Notify of
5 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Marge
5 years ago

Guys trip w no alcohol!?!?! No way.

Spackler
Reply to  Marge
5 years ago

Yeah don’t remember that but there’s always puff puff give

FTR, FNG Amber was poorly sought out. Puddin was on the right track and Gloss and I believe Twinkle Toes Or Flashdance are more appropriate.

Cheese Curd
5 years ago

Disclaimer- B+ (I think you made Amber uncomfortable)
Warm up- A (you did not let the haters deter you)
Main event- A (Evelyn’s Hill hill always sucks)
Backblast- A ++ (very comical)

Solid beat down! And among the greats playing through the pain, yes you are on the list, just closer to the bottom…maybe page 5 or 6….but absolutely on the list.
And I am now training for Palmetto Ultra team. Was feeling bad for Jrr Tolkien whining about needed another runner (hope he reads this).

Sprockets
5 years ago

The guy in stall next to me is wondering why I’m laughing out loud right now (and now you all know when and where I read F3 backblasts). We’ll done, Jet Fuel, though I agree, the disclaimer was very pointed toward FNG, which may have motivated him to leave us all in the dust, and to challenge me to a pullup pyramid AFTER the workout. Fun fact… 14 hours after Hydra, Amber personally scraped a dead cat off the road that my wife killed en route to a church dinner. (It was a bonding day for the 2 of us, to say the least). By the way… NASA abandoned the shuttle program?!? Next, you’re gonna tell me we landed on the moon!!!

5
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x