The Slaughter of Raintree, A Comedy of Errors

The Slaughter of Raintree, A Comedy of Errors

It started with an idea. A non-runner Qing a running workout. Plans were made, mumblechatter ensued, the Q confirmed “a” start point. Then it all came crashing down.

The Q made plans, started a weinke, and planned where to be and when. This is a runners workout known for going off-campus. How was the non-runner Q going to keep these hooligans in line? Apparently, NOT the track according to the consensus.

Questions came up, “Where would the workout take place?” Vague answers were given. A refusenik was tossed out weeks prior to the workout on the vague hint that the track would be used. The Q was unwavering in his commitment, the workout would happen. It was planned, the pax can just suck it up and deal with it. Then the day before the workout came and something was posted to the Twittersphere. The Q hadn’t even begun to advertise his workout for the next day and the cyber bullies were lined up at the door posting gifs and hashtags. Slightly concerned, the Q made adjustments to the weinke the night before. OK, if the pax demanded this workout not be in the track, then so be it, we would stay off the f*cking track. (Don’t say the Q didn’t warn you)

So with the updated weinke in tow, the Q set out to Charlotte Latin at 0450 to make the 0515 start time. Pulled into the parking lot with more than a few minutes to spare and waited, then waited some more, then said “could it be that no one showed up today”? A DM was sent to Purell looking for the pax. No answer. The Q said, “well I can always drive home and climb back into the fartsack.” Somewhere around 0523, 7 pax moseyed into the parking lot. The Q steps out of his car, “If I knew you guys were going to run this one in I would have joined you.” And that’s when the wheels fell off this thing.

The thang: From the “proper” Charlotte Latin Parking Lot (not to be confused with the “actual” well-hidden parking lot) run to the intersection at Whitehorn:  10 merkins.  50% of your mile pace to Deerpark Lane:  10 merkins.  Take Deerpark Ln to Doe Ct (this was uncharted territory). At Doe Court is the 1^st Round of Rabbits vs Clydesdales.

• Rabbits run first, Clydesdales chase after a 2 count.  AYG to the end of the cul-de-sac.
• Clydesdales run second, Rabbits chase after a 2 count.

Back at Doe Ct, run to the intersection at Nettlewood. Repeat rabbits vs. clydesdales down to the end of Deerpark lane and back. Mosey down Nettlewood and end up on Whitehorn. Go left and stop at White Dove Ct. Repeat rabbits vs. clydedales. Get back on Whitehorn and stop at Stonemark for, you guessed it, rabbits vs. clydesdales. Keep moving back to Deerpark and go left back up Deerpark. This is the loop. It would only be repeated one time.

On the final loop the pax went to the end of Whitehorn and had one final round of rabbits vs clydesdales, but by then 3 pax had quit (some due to injury and 1 because he legitimately had to leave early). So it was kind of a sad trombone ending. The pax, maybe feeling bad for the Q, maybe wanting to show him that the track really wasn’t worth it, indulged the Q for 5 minutes of 100 yard AYG, backwards runs, and 2 shuffles (left side and right side). Then they all joined the Hawks Nest crew just in time for burpees, losing another pax in the process.

The Moleskine:

8 started, 4 finished. It was a slaughter. The original weinke was to do a lap or two of warm-up on the track so YHC could gauge speed amongst the pax and then split up the rabbits and the clydesdales. Then the pax would have run 100 yard sprints chasing each other around the track, with a recovery yog around the curves. This was tried at SIBling Rivalry a few weeks ago and it was a solid plan and well executed.

Not so much with this crowd.

YHC’s biggest concern was developing a workout where he could keep the pax together. Injury never crossed YHC’s mind especially doing something like, you know, running at a running workout. At least if the pax got injured on the track, they wouldn’t have to walk all the way back to their cars from Raintree. That’s assuming the injured made it back to their cars. We offered to accompany them and they begged us not to.

The first man to peel off had a legitimate excuse as he needed to leave by 0600. The second man to peel off was “injured” with a pulled calf during a sprint. He walked back to his car as the remaining pax passed him, twice. Mumblechatter ensued. The third made it to the tail end of Whitehorn, before the last sprint, and also claimed an “injury” something about a pulled calf. Things were starting to look suspicious but the remaining pax kept going. The fourth pax peeled off just before joining Hawk’s Nest for COT. Maybe he didn’t want credit for the workout, maybe he had other places to be. Maybe he realized it was too late for the injury excuse. Whatever the case, we were down to 4 and YHC bragged to the assembled Hawk’s Nest pax that he had officially slaughtered 4 pax somewhere in Raintree. Guess they should have listened and stayed on the track.

Thanks to Purell for the chance to lead. Next time YHC will make it to the right parking lot for 0515 launch. Hope the pax enjoyed the workout, even if it there was a high propensity for injury. And for the injured, hope it was nothing serious and to see you all in the gloom again.

The names of the pax have been withheld to protect the (sort-of) innocent. They can sing the praises of this awesome workout in the comments below.