It was the land of affordable chicken, it was the place of overpriced bagels. It was the original home of the SOBs, it was new land utterly devoid of hills. It was grit and focus, it was endless mumblechatter. It was pearls on a string, it was suffering in place under weight. It was a glorious sunrise, it was dark, wet gloom. It was the best of marketing, it was the worst pain.
da Vinci (2/9/2019)
One Niner, Cobbler, Escobar, Twinkle Toes, Mary Kay, Dora, Taco Stand, Purell, Teddy, Chopper [R], Mighty Mite, War Eagle, YHC
After some Mighty Mite / Wild Turkey marketing that went over most SOB’s heads (but was still entertaining) and a lack of Bucky (aka the carpool driver), numbers were slightly lighter than usual at da Vinci in spite of all the cars parked in the lot courtesy of an early run crowd consisting of Bunker, Gumbo, Enron, Meatloaf, Woodson and Turkey. Nonetheless, 12 left Chick-fil-a in search of a way to earn our delicious breakfast.
We did lots of merkins on our way up Ardrey Kell to our base of operations for the morning – the parking lot behind Mickey’s Nail Bar. Here we found some lifting rocks and did something like the following:
Round 1 – 20 Curl & Press, 20 Rock Thrusters, 10 Merkin Right Hand on Rock, run a lap (repeat all this 3 times)
Round 2 – 20 Tricep Extensions, 20 Rock Squats, 10 Merkin Left Hand on Rock, run a lap (repeat all this 3 times)
Round 3 – maybe? Actually no. Can’t remember.
Round 4 – Grab your rocks and line up facing long way up lot. 5 Rockies, 10 walking rock lunges, 5 Rockies, 10 walking rock lunges, go for a while
Then we returned our rocks to the pile, and did more merkins and mary and step ups and dips on our way back to launch.
Notable performances included Taco Stand who has gotten exponentially stronger and faster each time I have seen him. Pretty sure this guy is pulling a pool haul style hustle on all of us and will begin challenging people to competitions for money sometime soon. #dontTakeTheBait
Escobar was almost late, again. War Eagle lied to Mary Kay and told him the workout wouldn’t be too hard. Mary Kay killed it anyway. Really, everyone did. Cobbler picked the wrong workout for a bum shoulder but made the most of it and put in some good miles while we all suffered under the rocks. Purell won the prize for biggest breakfast burrito eaten in the least amount of time. He also gets a prize from everyone else who attended for pointing out the rock pile to YHC on the pre-run. Had to scrap the original weinke when I realized there were no street lights in the other direction on Ardrey Kell. For everyone else who had trouble walking for a few days after last Saturday, you can thank our bald friend.
Chick-fil-a breakfast right after sunrise was pretty damn awesome as usual.
Wild Turkey, Nard Dog, Frehleys Comet [R], Cheese Curd, Cheddar, Strawberry, Cul de sac, Haggis, Fire Hazard, YHC
None of the same guys from last week. Either (1) they still hate me (2) they like chicken (3) the cultural divide between da Vinci and Stonehenge will never be bridged. Still, 10 guys (including 6 of whom are named after consumable products) made their way from The Vine parking lot on this rainy Saturday morning. Two of the guys had been personally EHed into showing up at Stonehenge with the promise that we would hit the deck. They showed.
Here’s what we did instead of the deck:
Really did have a plan for the deck but when it wasn’t raining too hard it just seemed like a crime to go inside. What we ended up with was a little more Brave than Stonehenge with 4+ miles and lots of exercises, but there was enough joking and chatter that it still felt like Stonehenge.
Wild Turkey was tearing it up today on 4 corners, Haggis made us all look like bumbling children on the hill sprints, Frehleys Comet was cutting weight and wore his heaviest sweat proof jacket. Cul de sac was kind enough not to compare this morning to the beautiful days he has been spending out at F3 Mountain View and Cheese Curd was kind enough not to mention that this workout was child’s play next to dragging his 120 lb sand bag around his garage while balancing a slosh tube on his noggin. Cobains to FH for abandoning the deck plan and props to Nard Dog for consistently coming out on one of two mornings he doesn’t have to get up at 3 in the morning.
Awesome seeing Strawberry back out in the gloom after a hiatus and hope it becomes a habit again. And while Einstein’s still may not be the best place to eat, it’s still top 2 in best dang places to hang out on a Saturday morning. We had Mario, One Niner and the man himself, Cooter(2-if you follow Slack) join us for coffeeteria. Cooter is on the up and up and looking to ease his way back into the gloom with some zero running options.
All of the 13 Pax gathered at Calvary for #RockZero expected to workout in the pouring rain. But the 100% chance posted on the weather apps yesterday kept decreasing, and we ended up with a very nice morning for getting some work done. After a thorough disclaimer that no one listened to was given, off we went meandering around the vast parking lot until we found a good spot for COP.
Then we took the long way to the rock pile in front of the Church. Even with a leadership change, Flipper’s RZ Manifesto remains in tact and so one must take circuitous routes to get the required 3 miles. We fell short of the mark by only reaching 2.5 miles this morning, which will reflect in my performance review and will likely mean that a % of my pay will be withheld.
At the rock pile, instructions were given to find a partner of similar strength. One partner was to grab a lifting rock that would challenge you but would allow for some higher reps work. The other partner was to grab two smaller rocks that could be held in each hand. (Note: I should’ve clarified two rocks that could be pinched with the finger tips while carrying…next time). Then we moseyed up the front parking lot for the workout.
Partner A does 10 reps of called exercise while Partner B rests. Then Partner B does 10 reps of called exercise while Partner A rests. Take turns until each Partner gets 100 reps.
After those two rounds, Partner A grabs the two smaller rocks and walks the front parking lot loop while holding the rocks with his fingertips to work on grip strength. Partner B runs the loop until he gets back around to Partner A, then Partner B walks with rocks while Partner A runs the loop.
Then back for a round of You Go, I Go: Overhead Presses
Then another round of the loop with the small rocks.
Then back for a round of You Go, I Go: Curls
Then another round of the loop with the small rocks.
Then back for some more You Go, I Go.
Return the rocks. Mosey back to launch point. One sprint out and back to kill the clock.
A lot of big talk has occurred and many promises have been made at The Lodge on the eve of workouts. Apparently last night was no exception, as Hops and Bugeater committed to the workout, and berated Mall Cop until he HC’d via text later in the evening. But only Mall Cop showed up and got better. Iron Horse was a witness to it and even he drove in from Union County to post.
Gummy complained a lot as usual…about the exercises, about the reps, about the weather. Even had the nerve to call out Marlin for his overhead press form. He even complained about the rock he selected, as it had a very dangerous point, especially on the downward movement of the curl. IH was Gummy’s partner and claimed he wasn’t worried about which “point” would win that battle. But if it’s more that 4 hours IH, call a doctor.
It seems liked BLC, Sprockets, Nemo, Swiffer and Rafiki were all one big group. They all kept switching up rocks and rest periods…but all in all put in a solid morning’s work. They all took their squat form very seriously.
Elsa worked so hard that he needed three different coffees at Starbucks to recover.
Flipper and Geraldo partnered and talked about how much better things would have been with their GoRuck sandbags.
Hoover appointed himself RZ Czar…and also wasn’t there.
“Fortune favors the prepared mind” – Louis Pasteur
I had 3 workouts prepared for Outland today:
I’m hoping for #2, but the rain is coming down hard at T-30 minutes. So that means a pile of leftovers at #3.
Look at the radar, and I see 56 minute break in the weather coming. Plan A is ON!
Christmas & Madison agreed last night they were doing the prerun. In the wet, nasty gloom, both considered fartsacking, but #Accountability saved the day.
60 seconds before launch: “Let’s talk about DiCCS.” Everyone takes one big step away from me.
Regular Disclaimer | 3 CPR certified | 2 Cells on body | Specific Site Safety Standards (going to be crossing the road several times; off campus the entire time; believe cars can’t see you)
Cross the highway as a group. Run to the back of Novant parking lot.
Madison: “Dang it, Posse, the site record was 70.” Just going by Apache’s philosophy of not ending on a 5 or 10 to ensure the Pax are listening.
The Thang (with some moleskine in the game)
On the back road, start at the mailbox and use the 5 trees in front of Goddard School as suicide end points. 3 burpees at each tree & back to the mailbox.
Mosey 10 yards to behind the Credit Union.
Partner with someone of opposite ability. Faster partner runs to the 3rd light; slower partner runs to the 2nd light. As a group:
Because of the pairings, all 3 groups finished within a minute of each other.
Long mosey to the strip mall with the storage place & boarded up 24/7 Fitness. #PUT6
Window Shopping – At each door along this strip mall, 5 Heels to Heaven. With all the rain just finishing, the last station got us plenty moist. But H2H, along with the moisture, created these odd noises in our clothes that could be reminiscent of a #SmartSack from a few days ago.
Mosey to Wells Fargo. Curb agilities up, then down.
Different partners, same concept. P1 runs from one island to another. P2 does a burpee in a parking space, then bear crawls to the next space. Flapjack til you get to the end. Go back the other way, except replace a bear crawl with a crab walk.
Mosey across the street, back to the SVHS campus. Head to the trailer quad.
Each Pax bear crawls up a trailer ramp, then crawl bears back down. Come to the picnic benches in the center & do 20 jazzercise step ups. When you step up, bring the other knee up high. When you step down, take a reverse lunge so you can touch the ground with your hand. My first demonstration was so elegant, they asked me to do it again. I felt like I was at the Y step class again, but this time, *I* was the cute woman with the bubbly personality, headband, and wireless mic. My mascara was running…
Too many Pax for everyone to start at the trailers, so I start on my steps. Flashback to this song (but sped up to get the steps synched to the beat [nevermind – found it]) as I start tearing up the tables. Then I can hear Madison complain that those ramps are like razor blades on your hands. Wow, for an Ironman, he sure is a pu- “Holy crap on a stick – that hurts!” OK, let’s audible off this.
Grab 2 tires & put them in the parking lot. Even teams of 3.
P1 flips tire | P2 5 fence squats | P3 reverse burpee
Went til we got to the end of the parking lot. Don’t know why, but I freaking love the tire flip. The deep fence squats are the perfect precursor to practice getting low enough for the tire. A good form enforcer.
Put tires back, like they never knew we were there.
Make our way back to the start, but we’re kinda far out. So along the way we stop for American Hammers, Imperial Squawkers, & Rosalitas.
At the end of the Rosalitas, it begins to rain. No worries, 15 yards away from shelter and 3 minutes left to try a new exercise.
<REDACTED UNTIL MY NEXT Q>
The Pax gave some good feedback. I think it’ll work.
I offered up Q Source for this Coffeteria, since I haven’t seen any posts about it on this side of the county. Only Madison has been to a Q Source before, so we EH’ed Woody & Christmas. Coffeteria is now at Poppy’s Bagels instead of McDonalds – definite upgrade (full discolsure: my wife owns McDonald’s stock; we’re getting rich off y’all’s addiction to bad foodlike substances!).
Today’s Q-Tip talks about getting right, like in a boat. Discussed poignant analogies of your boat being overturned, listing to the side, or being in the air bubble under the boat. None of that is the way you or the boat is designed to get down the river. Sometimes you realize it; other times, you have to be told. Either way, it takes courage to take the #DRP to get yourself back in the boat. Or more likely, be willing to let someone help you right your boat. That’s a constant struggle for me. I know I’ve capsized, but I’m too proud or too ashamed to ask for that hand. If I only open my eyes, I would realize that those who are reaching out have just righted their own boat a short while ago. They have been in the water, too.
As my brothers help me climb into a righted boat, I gain the perspective that there are LOTS of men around me who have capsized. Most are not asking for help. But I can see they are hurting.
Let’s get to paddling, guys. It’s not hard to find that man underwater. Extend an oar. Throw a life preserver. Help him get right.
14 Pax Joined Me This morning for a real wet workout today. Makin sure to double wrap my winkie and and have my DiCC’S out of the Queso and ready for y’all this mornin. DiCC’S were given we had a few CPR trained (sadly no Bottle cap with his cherry flavored chap stick), 2 cellphones, disclaimer regarding the weather and driver visibility, and at least 1 headlamp or should I say flood light from dead wood.
Suicides down the street using islands
End at the end of street then turn around and head back to COT where we did some plank work.
Thank You to all of you guys that posted this mornin you all pushed me and helped me get through it. A few audibles based on the weather. About half the Pax this mornin left the COT left the regular parkin lot and decided to park next to the covered area instead.( It left them with the walk of shame after COT.) Tried my best to always keep the 6 right there with us.
16 PAX brought their VD memories and unknowingly joined YHC for his first Qventure outside of Dromedary. Few of them had any idea how much YHC enjoys scouring the depths of the Exicon… but now they do.
Disclaimer x 1
Cell Phone x 1
CPR Certified x 2
Dog Poop bags x 2
Mosey away from Waverly, across the quaint Providence Road and to the perfectly dark Arby’s parking lot area for COP. Who doesn’t want to start their day off at Arby’s where, “We Have the Meats”?
Mosey to the green area near the giant video board for some quality Paula Abdul work…
More Paula Abdul? YES! Return the other way, but only to the midway point of the green…
Mosey to the hill on the east side of the Harris Teeter…
Mosey back to Waverly to the COT…
The PAX of Western Union are familiar with YHC’s penchant for less frequently used exercises and, honestly, today was supposed to be different. But apparently not all are familiar with the great Paula Abdul, Annies, or Good Morning Abby. “Huh?” “What?” were frequent refrains of mumblechatter, but one of the best comments came afterwards from One Star who spent much of the workout going through a limited Paula Abdul discography in his head only to miss the classic “Opposites Attract.” “So why is that called ‘Paula Abdul’? I can only think of ‘Cold-hearted Snake’.”
Illiterate only afterwards shared that during the Merkin Clock he nearly went face first into a sizable clod of horse manure — the rest of the PAX merely continued in ignorant bliss. Kudos to O’Tannenbaum who found us on the green after a late start — no clue how he found us that far from the COT. YHC was not the only one to introduce PAX to a new move: Shop Dawg called one of his favorites, Boat-Canoe, during global warming and it was called again moments later.
The effort was strong all around this morning and the mumblechatter entertaining. The PAX met the Swole Challenge for merkins for the day and did a decent job on the plank requirements. YHC appreciates the opportunity to lead a strong group in a new location and the willingness to experiment with the buried moves of the exicon. Poop bags were not needed by anyone.
Only a handful of hearty strong men were ready and willing to put in the Post Valentine Day work at Joust. Following a thorough disclaimer here is what we did this morning.
Warmup jog over and across the top parking lot down the stairs to the center of the football field (circle up for Warmarama – all exercises were completed in Cadence count) Merkin x20 (gummy began groaning in disapproval around 16) Imperial Walker x 20 Peter Parker x10 Parker Peter x10 Squats x15 5 stations throughout the campus with 6 minutes of work each (Rest would occur as we move to the next station) Stations as follows: 1 Track – 4 corners 25 merkins each corner x 2 Laps 2 Football Field – end zone to end zone 20 squats every 20 yard down 20 lbc back x 2 rounds 3 Bleachers – run stairs 30 incline merkins at top 30 dips bottom repeat 4 Playgrounds – run to top playground 10 pull-ups run back 10 knee raises 5 The Hill – 5 burpees at bottom run the hill for 6 minutes Mosey back the long way to launch for 3 minutes of Mary Flutter x 20 and lbc x20 Announcements: Joe Davis Run March 9 Moleskin: Was hoping for a bigger turnout today given the great weather, but many of the usual players must have had the late night reservation at melting pot or decided the 2nd bottle of wine was a better decision. Alas, we started with a strong 5 and were soon joined on the pitch by Mr Brady and a mighty 6 completed the circuits. Not a ton of chatter this morning given we were moving around a decent amount. Strong work by all of the guys. Six minutes doesn’t seem like a very long time until you staring down the base of the hill after 4 other circuits and that’s when it hits you. Legs were burning at the end and a lot of us were looking forward to the burpees at the bottom as a much needed break. All in all a great morning w/some great dudes. 2.4 miles were covered and plenty of merkins and squats. Enjoyed it gang.
Single digit attendance at Centurion this morning was quite a surprise this morning, especially when the weather was downright pleasant. The most likely cause was that pax were terrified of the savage beating YHC was prepared to lay down. Other possible explanations include early departures for a long weekend and/or Valentine’s Day celebrations spilling over into the morning. Unlikely, but possible. The six pax who decided to show up and put in some work on a Friday morning were treated to a disclaimer that was equal parts eloquent, efficient, and effective. The workout then began in the launch lot.
SSH, Mountain Climbers, Imperial Walkers, and Plank Jacks, all called in perfect cadence and performed with questionable form by the Q. We then departed for Carmel Commons at a civilized pace.
Once arriving in front of Amelie’s it was explained that we would be running an ABC pattern focusing on two foundational exercises, the squat and the merkin. ABC in this case stands for Amelie’s, BB&T, and Cabo’s. Start with ten reps of each exercise, run to the next stop and do nine reps, run to the next stop and do eight, and so on and so forth. Since YHC runs with the swiftness of an elderly, handicapped sloth, only bits and pieces of the mumblechatter were heard. Scabby and Mermaid were overheard discussing literature which is a testament to the caliber of man who regularly posts at Centurion. Also overheard, a massive fart that sounded like the celebratory discharge of an AK-47 during a wedding in a third world country.
After finishing, we ran across 51 to the other shopping center which most likely has a name containing the word Carmel and some combination of Shoppes, Promenade, Pavilion, or whatever else is popular with real estate developers. Here we did another round of squats and merkins in the ABC pattern, consisting of Audibel Hearing Center, Bonefish Grill, and CoolSculpt Spa. Since the runs between stations were shorter at this plaza, we upped the reps to begin with fifteen and working down to one, as well as mixing in wide arm and diamond merkins. In the parking lot someone noticed a car with a F3 sticker, which was determined to belong to Turkey Leg. There was ensuing debate over whether our comrade was exercising at 9Round or Be Yoga, then due to hearing his name spoken aloud, he appeared out of the darkness much like Beetlejuice. It turns out he was just out for a long run.
After finishing up the set, YHC checked the trusty Garmin and discovered that we needed to make for the launch lot immediately. Once arriving back YHC explained that we had been scheduled to head to Charlotte Aquatics to do sprints, monkey humpers, and lunge walks, but alas, there would be no time. Check that, there is always time for monkey humpers, so we knocked out twenty. We were about to start a bit of Mary to wrap things up with when a pickup truck came into the lot, causing us pause. It was the long lost Hairball, who had decided to join us for a few minutes. We wrapped with a handful of core exercises and some planks.
Now for a bit of explanation regarding the title of this backblast. The original title was going to be “The ABCs of S&M” as a reference to the ABC structure of the workout and the Squats (S) and Merkins (M). While a pretty good title (admit it, you would have clicked) YHC was slightly concerned with the type of traffic it might bring to our wholesome cybergloom. Thankfully Scabby took the time to read the promotional words on the glass door at CoolSculpt Spa during the festivities. The vague and legally dubious claims included slimming the thighs, firming the skin through Botox, and ridding oneself of unwanted bra fat. The lead group of Scabby, Mermaind, Brilleaux, and Snuka ran off discussing the aforementioned bra fat. A far cry from the literary discussion that had taken place earlier. Perhaps F3’s marketing department needs to start using CoolScupt Spa for inspiration? Also covered this morning was the topic of the Jack in the Box at Carmel Commons, and how none of us could recall ever seeing more than a single car in the parking lot. We wondered how it survived as a going concern. We can only surmise that it is sustained via the overnight hours from inebriated revelers in suburban South Charlotte. Announcements: Joe Davis run 3/6/19. If you are reading this you should be registered by now. Speed for Need will be at the Dash for Down’s Syndrome 3/23/19 at Blakeney, reach out to Scabby if you’d like to push. Enjoy the long weekend.
10 PAX, including 1 site FNG (Poptart) decided to exchange Valenine’s Day cards at #F3Peak51 and here’s how it went down.
Burpees x 5
SSH x 20
Burpees x 4
IW x 20
Burpees x 3
Squats x 15
Burpees x 2
Windmill x 20
Burpees x 1
Partner up, size and speed does not matter Partner 1 performs called exercise while partner 2 runs up and back the parking lot, flapjack. Four rounds: Merkins, Flutter Kicks, CCDs, LBCs.
Head over to the hill behind the baseball field for 11s, Merkins at the bottom and Squats at the top.
Move over to behind the the outfield fence and line up for Bear Crawls, Crab Walks, and Lunge Walks. It went so well we did another round.
Everybodyy line up, plank up shoulder to shoulder for a very Happy Valentine’s Day Tunnel of Love style.
Circle up for a Valentine’s Day call from our old friend Jack Webb. Up to 5 merkins and back down.
A quick time check and we had some time for a two laps around the parking lot since the track is currently unavailable.
Mosey back to the start point for some Mary
Flutter Kicks x 20
Cleve Climbers x 10
Rosalita x 20
It was great returning to #Peak51, a great AO with a such a solid group of PAX. YHC is always glad to Q, Sensei and Lois have Peak 51 going strong.
Welcome site FNG Pop Tart who was the official counter during Jack Webb.
There were some groans from the PAX when YHC kicked the workout with the burpeee ladder, something to the effect that it’s a moderate workout and the burpees.
The tunnel of love was a real crowd pleaser, the PAX got their monies worth, you’re welcome.
Pop Tart is quite adept at bear crawls, and was #LarryBird each round.
Glad to Sensei and Slim Fast head out for the pre-run while Dora and I took off for the pre-ruck.
Joe Davis Run Saturday March 9th
10 Pax joined me today in the light drizzle of rain for a good ole’ workout today
Everyone gathers up for DiCC’S disclamer 1 cellphone 1 CPR certified a few with reflective gear and a few headlamps as well as the disclaimer to watch for traffic including buses, student drivers and teachers going to work. If I missed somthing don’t worry about my DiCC’S. 30 Seconds till art this time Centerfold came running in after he could not find DW and his crew. set my music up 3.2.1. Let’s Mosey we moseyed a lap around middle school parking lot up to student drop off in front of middle school where we gathered for our warmup.
Mosey to bus drop off (stairs)
Partner up and explain workout (at this time who else showed up but our good ole’ friend Jingles)
First parner runs to the bottom of the stairs while the second parner begins the workouts
When the first partner gets back they flip and repeat till finished.
The PAX were enjoying the Mike Tyson’s so much I was considering adding an extra 100.
When some PAX finished their 300 squats we began to marry till the last PAX finished the flipped that plan and helped the final team finish.
After we finished up we circled/lined for this next exercise 1 pax would pick a workout (most of the time it was their least favorite workout) that all the other PAX would have to do while the leading one ran down the stairs and back to the group and repeat till all the PAX go.
Next Mosey around the entire high school and regroup back at the stairs to collect any coats that had been left. After that line up and indian run from stairs past Transporters shead and back to middle school parking lot 45 seconds till 6:15 decided to plank it up until… time.
Thank You to all the pax who showed up this morning and supporting me. There seemed to be a few audibles but I’d say pretty good considering almost zero planning and no winkie.