Buns of Steel

Buns of Steel

19 real American heroes were in the Nest (of the trust tree) this morning, undeterred by temps at which water transforms to a solid. Hops gave me some pushback on the start time, but then confessed that he doesn’t actually wear a watch. (Apparently he has Kramer-esque internal alarm clock skills). Regardless, the boyz looked chilly, so we gots to movin…

Thing 1:

Found a random parking lot (with lights this time) and circled up to get the blood flowin:

• 50 SSHs
• 20 IWs
• 20 LSSs

Mosey to the track…

Thing2:

Warmup lap with some karaoke, leaving the inner 2 lanes open for fellow civilians. (Several Geometry majors in the group seemed remarkably upset by this suggestion, realizing they’d have to put in at least another dozen steps this morning.)

Then (back by unpopular demand), the patented “a$$ wrecker” combo… sure to get your buns rock hard like those ballerinos in the Buttcracker Ballet:

• 20 SMCs
• 20 skater lunges
• 20 Mtn Climbers.
• Take a lap, Plank for the 6 and repeat. 3 sets total.

Plank-o-Rama. Hold at 6″ until Revlon gets his fill.

Head to the turf…

Thing 3:

Mary circle at centerfield:

~30 LBCs

~25 Flutter

~20 HTH

Thing 4:

Line up abreast on the 50

Drop n gimme 20 merkins, run to the goal line (which is apparently farther away in soccer than in ‘Murican Football)…19 merkins, run back to the 50, wash rinse & repeat… 18, 17, 16, 15… finish back at the 50 yd line (or at least that was the idea.)

Thing 5:

Grab a shmediumish rock and head to the bridge, find a piece of wall and settle into people’s chair for another experiment that “looked good on paper”.

• 20 curls in the chair
• Drop the rock and decline with toes on the wall… 20 hipslappers.
• 20 presses in the chair.
• 20 donkey kicks.
• 1 more chair. (Attempt to) hold rock out in front of you while Hopper gives the 10ct.

Drop the stupid rock and tell yourself the workout’s over and that you’re running back to parking lot…

Thing 6:

Instead of actually returning to start, follow YHC, who (in his first official full-length Q) clearly suffers from poor time mgmt skills and flounders to kill another 5 mins. Find a dark slab of icy asphalt. Bear crawl to 1st median, run to 2nd. Turn and repeat. (If your hands hadn’t already gone numb while holding the cold rock, this should certainly do it!).

Return to origin for ~25 Rosalita and 50 Freddy Mercs.

Some idiot noticed we had 30 secs left, so 10 burpees OYO rounded out the post.

Moleskin:

Upon commencing the polar bear crawls, I believe I heard Semi-gloss “call an Omaha”. I’m not sure exactly what that means, but I believe it’s where you stand around while you watch other people exercise. (Sounds inviting… I’ll have to add that to my Weinke next time)

Hammer shaved a good 100yds off the workout by arriving at 5:31 and parking on the route toward our warmup circle (clearly a veteran move… I’ve still so much to learn!)

Doc McStuffins and Runstopper went for extra credit by knocking out another 14 merkins at the end of the merkin suicides. (For Doc, something was clearly lost in translation. For Runstopper, he starts his Merkins so close to the ground that I guess he needs the extra reps to make them count.)

Announcements:

Please keep Cooter and Huggy Bear in your prayers as they both face surgery today.

Hops encouraged us to consider reaching out a brother this season… a simple call can make all the difference in a man’s life.

Thanks to Hops for his leadership in this group, for asking me to lead this morning, and for trusting me not to screw it up (too bad). And thanks to Pastor Purple Haze for the solid sendoff.